Cages
by Ryoko21
Summary: Zechs goes undercover to infiltrate a ring of slave traders through the slave game called Collar. On his mission, he finds five slaves that make him long for true love, but will he ever find his? Yaoi.
1. Preface

Please note that I have heard of many stories here that have been cut off without warning. I understand that this site has that ability and probably has their reasons. I'm not here to complain. Should this happen to this story, please refer to http/ I am currently in the process of moving all my stories to this site, so that I may have a sort of backup. Now, for all of you that don't really know/care for me as a writer, please move to the next chapter. Thank you for your time.

Any of you who have read Heero's Tears, I ask you not to expect the same thing. I'm older now, so I wanted to try something a little bit away from the fairy tale that Heero's Tears turned into and explore something a bit different. Please do not be disappointed that the true pairings will not emerge until later in this story. I'm trying to explore the image of a soul mate and other types of love and affection. Please bear with me.

Also, if anyone could suggest another site that I may wish to look into, I would be much obliged. is really great, and it has the author alerts that I feel I must have. However, it is also somewhat small for my taste and I would like to try to circulate my work to a bigger audience. Those of you who are writers can understand, I think.

Also, jess-eklom commented that she would rather know the pairings upfront instead of being surprised. If you don't feel the same way, continue to the story now, please.

Despite the unorthodox situations in this story, the pairings will be fairly standard. Zechs will be with Wufei, Heero with Duo, and Quatre with Trowa. Zech's love will not appear until close to the end of the story, and it will be a while before any of the other pairings emerge. If you only want to see these pairings and nothing else, I actually wouldn't advise you o read this story, as much as that pains me. The journey is most important, ne? I won't rush this story, so just try to enjoy it as we go.

Alright, I'm done rambling. For those of you who actually stuck around, please proceed to the story now, if you're not sleeping already.


	2. Finding Heero

Zechs wondered, for the eighty-sixth time that evening, just how he got himself into these situations. Here he was, being lead down a dirty hall filled with cages. If that weren't enough, the cages were filled, not with animals, but with human beings.

"We usually clean them up a bit before we hand them out," said the older maid who was in charge of the facility, "but seeing as your in such a hurry we didn't have time to him."

"It's fine. I'm sure one of my assistants will clean him up once we get home," Zechs said in a dismissive manner. He had no interest in becoming associated with a woman who could allow such cruelty from day to day. In truth, he had no assistants at home, but that was not what the woman would expect from someone in his position.

Zechs watched as the numbers on the cages rose, finally stopping at cage #89, where the matron began shifting through her keys to open the door. Zechs was given a small glance of the pale, dirty, underfed boy inside, huddle in a corner, nearly naked except for a piece of fabric fashioned into what could only be called a loincloth, which was also torn and dirty. The woman found the key and quickly opened the door, entering and harshly pulling the boy to his feet. The boy stood, but had to bend down, as the collar around his throat was attached to a short chain locked onto a beam inside the cage. The woman unlocked it, then led the boy out on a short chain.

"Walk, damn you," she hissed at him, though he boy made no resistance as she pulled him out of the cell to stand in front of Zechs. "Well," she said, "I know he's not much to look at, but no one's gonna expect you to work miracles with a reject like this. He's a stubborn one, though, you'll need a firm hand to handle him," she finished, handing the chain to Zechs, who pretended it didn't revolt him.

In actuality, the boy was not much to look at. Months of being locked in a small cage with little to eat had withered his once muscular form. Zechs, however, could still make out just a hint of the tone that once inhabited the boys muscles, and could still see just a trace of fighting stance in the demure way the boy stood. What he could not see, however, was any kind of stubbornness, or personality at all, really, in those blank and broken blue eyes on the boy's haunted face. The youth was mainly Japanese, Zechs thought unhappily, but might be from mixed origins because of the blue eyes.

"I'm sure I can handle it," Zechs replied, still looking the boy over. Despite seeming weak and fragile, the boy didn't seem to have many recent wounds, save a few bruises scattered along his back and legs. There was some scarring on his back, though, that looked to have come from a whipping, along with many more scars that looked like battle wounds to the older man. Zechs barely managed to keep himself from cringing.

The boy, as though sensing Zechs's thoughts, shivered softly, and Zechs wondered for a moment if it was fear before realizing how cold the boy must be without any clothes. Even with a full coat on, Zechs could still felt a slight chill.

"Could I perhaps bother you to get the boy some clothes, mam?" Zechs asked. The woman frowned in confusion, for what good were clothes to a pleasure slave? Still, she called for another slave, this one a servant, who ran and fetched the boy a robe, which the woman held out for him. His eyes slowly drifted up to it, but he seemed uncertain as to what to do with it. The woman, losing her patience, slapped him roughly on the back of the head before shoving him into herself, the turning to stomp off, leaving Zechs and the boy alone.

Despite his robe being wide open, the boy simply stood there, looking at the ground. Hesitantly, Zechs stepped forward and tied the boys robe for him, hoping that the boy wasn't truly daft. Slowly, the boy's eyes moved up from the ground and Zechs was finally able to see that it was not stupidity causing the boy to hesitate so, but fear. Wanting to comfort the boy, Zechs placed a hand on his shoulder and gave it a soft squeeze, but the boy only flinched and lowered his eyes to the floor. Before Zechs could say anything else, the matron returned with a small tag, which she attached to the boy's collar.

"Here's his tags, so everyone will know who he belongs to if he ever gets away. He's got a strong collar on, so don't be afraid he'll be able to break the chain or anything. He'd strangle himself before he could get out of this thing," the woman said with a small chuckle. "You've got a week or two to start training him before you'll need to head to the station for the games. Take him home tonight and give him some bread, then you can start whatever you want with him tomorrow. Oh, and he's been out of commission for a while, so be careful. You don't want him bleeding all over the good linens, if you know what I mean."

Zechs knew very well what she meant, so simply nodded his head and gave the boy a small warning tug on his chain before turning to walk down the hall. Obediently, the boy followed as Zechs walked down the hall and to his limo, always a step behind his master, as all slaves walked. When Zechs entered the limo and sat down, the boy knelt at his feet on the floor.

"It's not very safe to sit on the floor," Zechs cautioned, "Sit beside me."

It was not until the command came that the boy moved, and when he did it was stiffly. The boy sat against the other side of the limo, keeping his eyes on the floor. Zechs sighed, then reached across the boy, who tensed drastically, and buckled the boy's seatbelt for him. Zechs leaned back against his own seat and sighed once again, then pulled out the boy's registration papers.

"Where to, sir?" the driver questioned from the front seat.

"Home, if you please. Then you can go home as well. I shouldn't need you any more this weekend," Zechs told his driver.

"Very good, sir," the driver said, and closed the panel that separated the front seat from the rest of the car.

For the duration of the drive, Zechs amused himself by looking over the contract that allowed him to buy the boy, which was so unfeeling and inhumane that it was almost comical, while the boy stared out the window blindly, barely aware of his surroundings. Once in a while Zechs would cast small, sad glances toward the boy, but didn't dare more than that until they returned home.


	3. The Past

Zechs, despite previous scenes to the contrary, was not a pervert. The buying and selling of human beings for the sole purpose of sex and sport disgusted him, more so once he was a part of it. He was, however, the older brother of Relena Peacecraft, the ruler of a small but powerful nation called Sanque. It had been rumored for many years that the high-ranking officials of Sanque and her neighboring nations, along with the highest ranking leaders of the colonies, ran an inter-planetary slave trading ring. It was also rumored that this ring of slave traders gathered for a few months every year to trade slaves, compete in slave-games, and gamble on the slave games in a tournament known as Collar.

Up until only a few months before, Zechs had never given any thought to the rumors. Though he well knew how cruel humans could be, he had never truly thought such a large organization could exist without ever being reprimanded by the people or others in the government. It was only when the head of Preventers, Une, had called him in for a special assignment that he realized for much he had underestimated the power of political status.

Sanque itself was a pacifist nation, so held no military or real political power. However, it was also home to the Preventers, an independent military force dedicated to keeping peace and justice throughout the solar system. Une took her job very seriously, and once she heard what kind of games these people were playing she immediately decided that something had to be done.

The only problem was that she needed someone on the inside. She needed someone who wasn't already corrupted in favor of the enemy, while also being in a position of enough influence to interest the enemy, while also having no political position that would be in danger were he discovered.

Zechs knew as soon as she explained what she needed that he was the only person able to take the job, and accepted it readily. Zechs knew the horrors political corruption could cause, as his home had been destroyed when he was young, and his country had almost fallen to ruin. Left to fend for himself for the most part of his childhood, Zechs joined a group of military radicals when he was still very young, under the tutelage of the commander Treize Kushrenada, a boy only a few years older than he and from a very powerful military family. Zechs fell in love with his mentor, and in his teens the two became a couple.

It was not long after that when Zechs discovered his true origins, as a DNA scan at a hospital where he was being treated for an accident in a fencing match revealed his true identity. Milliardo Peacecraft was a name that he vaguely recognized, but quickly accepted. His sister, Relena, was overjoyed and immediately attempted to set up his coronation and return all the power that would have been his, but Zechs refused. Having stayed so long in the military, Zechs didn't think that he would become a very good kind and, seeing how well his sister was running the country, decided to let things be. This created a situation in which Zechs, the once-thought orphan, came into a large amount of wealth and power, but very little political sway. This new personal freedom of Zechs' cause him to look more deeply at his life. He soon found that Treize was not the person he had thought him to be. Zechs decided that he no longer wanted to be with Treize and quietly broke the relationship.

With nothing left to do, Zechs joined Preventers as an agent and consultants hoping to put some of his skills to use. He was able to conceal his identity by using his given name, Milliardo Peacecraft, at social functions and his assumed name, Zechs Marquis, at Preventer's functions. He also wore a heavy mask when fighting or infiltrating. Soon, he was being asked to train new recruits and plan military operations, as well as advising Relena on how to keep her country safe. Zechs was given the title of commander, though he didn't have an actual, documented position anywhere in Preventers. He was, however, highly respected by all other agents and considered one of Une's best men. Still, nothing he had seen had prepared him for pulling the young, almost naked, collared boy into his empty house late one evening.


	4. Scars

The maid had turned all the lights on when she had left, which must have been hours ago, considering she lived in the closest house, which was forty minutes away. They had been driving for nearly five hours now, and the boy had fallen asleep against the window despite a valiant effort to stay awake. Zechs smiled softly; the boy looked almost peaceful in his sleep. Zechs had been shocked that a holding cell for the human slaves had been so close to his home, but once inside city grounds all the buildings blended together, and even he had to admit that he would probably never have suspected it.

Zechs gently shook the boy awake as the pulled up to the entrance of the house. The boy flinched hard and curled into himself as he blinked his eyes open and tried to orient himself. His eyes met Zechs' for a moment, but he quickly lowered them to the floor. Zechs held in another sigh and undid the boy's seatbelt. Without a word, the boy slipped out of the seat and knelt at Zechs' feet. After staring at him for a moment, Zechs reached down and picked up the chain attached to the boys collar. Zechs turned and saw Riku holding the door open, staring openly with pity at the boy. Zechs wasn't worried that he would turn him in, though, as Riku was also an agent working on this operation with Zechs. In truth, Zechs doubted he would see anyone but agents for the next few weeks, until he left for the games. All the agents, even the ones that would deliver the meals he ordered, were to be disguised so cleverly that even the boy would be fooled. It was possible that even the slave would turn him in, scrapping the operation. They had to be wary of spies.

Still, watching the boy crawl hesitantly out of the car, Zechs doubted anyone could fake the look of hollow emptiness on the boy's face.

Zechs was brought back to himself as Riku pulled the car out of the driveway, leaving the two of them standing in the doorway. Zechs led the boy inside, closing the door behind them. Once the door was firmly closed and locked, Zechs dropped the chain, careful not to hit the boy with it, and allowed him to look around.

The house was no where near the level of decadence of Relena's mansion, but it was far above the average bachelor pad. It seemed more like a pricey cottage than a real home. In fact, before Zechs had bought it for this mission, it had been the winter cottage of one of Relena's ministers. It was ranch style, which Zechs didn't mind, and sprawled out over the wooded terrain. They had chosen this particular location because while the house was surrounded on all sides by a cleared plain, the yard soon gave way to dense forest. This would make it easy for Preventers to hide in the forest while guarding the house while also removing the problem of "nosy neighbors" or any neighbors at all, really.

The house had three bedrooms, one master and two guest, and four bathrooms, one in each of the rooms and one near the kitchen. Along with the kitchen, the house also had a study, a training room, a spare room, and a "playroom." Zechs hesitated to think about that room, as he had acquainted himself well with its contents in preparation for this mission.

Zechs walked up to the boy and tilted his face up, forcing him to meet his eyes. It was then that Zechs got his first good look at the boy. Zechs realized that not only was the boy several inches shorter than he was, but he was also very young, probably in his late teens.

"I need to know what to call you," Zechs said, releasing the boy's face.

"You may cal me whatever you want, master," the boy responded, his voice clear, soft, and emotionless.

"What name did your last master call you by?"

"She called me Blue, master."

"I see. Did you like that name?"

"I like whatever name pleases you, master," the boy said, staring directly ahead, but a slight tightening of his jaw betrayed his real feelings. Again, Zechs forced him to look into his eyes.

"What is your name?" Zechs asked, holding the boy's eyes with his own.

"Heero," the boy whispered softly, "My name is Heero, master."

"That's a good name," said Zechs, lowering the boy's face, "I will call you by it. And you must not call me master after every sentence, it's annoying."

"Yes..." Heero reasoned, trailing off as he kept himself from saying master again.

"Good, now take off your clothes."

Without any surprise or hesitation, Heero immediately pulled open his robe and let it drop to the floor. With another swift movement, the cloth covering his modesty was also on the floor, and Heero stood there completely bare. Zechs, however, was looking only at the boy's face, which showed no signs of what he was feeling. After a moment, Zechs turned and signaled Heero to follow.

Zechs led Heero to the bed room, where he asked him to stay as he entered another room. Heero could hear the sound of running water as Zechs returned and opened his closet. Not knowing what else to do, Heero simply stood there as Zechs shuffled things around until he emerged with a small pile of clothes. He set them on the bed, and once again signaled Heero to follow.

The bathroom was large, but not overly lavish. The bathtub was deep, but it was not a hot-tub, as many people kept. Again Heero was left with nothing to do as Zechs gathered the soaps and towels. Turning around with them, Zechs saw that Heero had yet to make a move, and gently propelled him toward the bath. A bit of confusion and suspicion on his face, Heero gingerly got in and sat down in the steaming water. Zechs immediately set to work bathing the boy and attempting to relax him, but Heero was stiff and unresponsive to his ministrations, which was only compounded by the fact that Zechs had not removed his chains for fear of him running away. As Zechs washed him, he could understand how the boy would be wary of him, as his hands brushed over the many scars Heero had received at the hands of his former masters. Still, Zechs could also tell the some of the tension in his muscles was from sleeping on the hard ground, and resolved to fix the situation.

Once Heero was clean, which was not a quick job at all, Zechs instructed him to get out of the tub and dry off, then ushered him onto a scale. Zechs frowned at the boy's weight, 115 pounds, but it wasn't as bad as he had thought. Once that was through, Zechs took up the chain and led Heero passed the clothes Zechs had originally thought to put on him. In the doorway, Zechs instructed Heero to go to the kitchen and move the chairs away from the table, then turned back into the room.

With a sinking feeling, Heero entered the small kitchen and did as he was instructed. As he was moving the chairs, Heero noticed with dread just how sturdy the wood table seemed, and that it would be just at waist height on the other man.

"Lay on the table," Zechs said as he entered the kitchen with a small box, almost echoing Heero's fears. Heero did as he was told, feeling as though he had swallowed a rock. He watched anxiously as Zechs removed a towel and lotion from the small box. Zechs approached the table with the two and gently pushed Heero to roll over, so that he was on his stomach, then, confusing Heero even more, placed the towel under his head. Heero flinched as Zechs squeezed some of the lotion onto his hands, but again Zechs made no move toward sexual contact, and began giving the boy a back rub.

"You're very tense, Heero," Zechs said. Heero had heard many masters tell him that, but none had ever tried to alleviate the problem. Zechs adjusted Heero's neck several times, forcing him to look this way and that, as he continued to rub the boy's back firmly.

After a few minutes Heero felt Zechs move away from him and rummage around in the box. Afraid to move his head, Heero could not see what Zechs was doing. When he returned, Zechs put another layer of lotion on Heero's back, and the boy was just starting to relax when he heard something hum behind hum and felt something vibrating against his back.

Heero spun around so quickly that he certainly would have fallen off the table had Zechs not caught his arm. In Zechs' hand was a small, plastic contraption vibrating softly with three small, rounded arms coming off of its round middle.

"Heero," Zechs warned, "Get back on the table and lay down."

More afraid of being punished than he was of the contraption, for it really wasn't all that big, Heero laid back down on the table, though he was tense once again and he was terrified of what Zechs was going to do.

But Zechs merely laid the vibrating gadget against his back once again and began to work it firmly against the boy's muscles, forcing them to relax and loosen. It was painful, but far from unbearable. Heero could feel that it was a good kind of pain, which he had not often felt before.

When Heero's muscles were completely relaxed, Zechs turned off the machine and set it aside. The massage had worked better than he had hoped at getting Heero's muscles to relax, but it had also brought a new problem to his attention.

"Heero, I'm going to straddle you," was all the warning Zech gave before pushing himself onto the table and settling his weight over the boy's thighs. Heero jumped at the feel of having the other man on top of him, but it was already too late. Zechs was much too heavy for him to push off, and he wouldn't dare to defy his master in such a way. Besides, Zechs was still fully clothed, so posed less of a threat to him.

"I want you to take a deep breath," Zechs instructed. When he felt the boy inhale, Zechs gently applied pressure to the vertebrae in the boy's back, increasing the pressure until he finally felt the bone shift back into place. He did it several times, until he was sure that everything was correctly aligned. He knew that this process was painful, but Heero never made a sound. Zechs gave his muscles one more quick rub down, as a reward, then pushed himself off Heero and motioned for the boy to sit up.

"How do you feel?" Zechs questioned.

Still staring at the floor, the boy responded, "Much better. Thank you."

"I must admit, I haven't done this in while. I was worried I'd make things worse rather than better," Zechs said with a small, nostalgic smile. Zechs had taken a course in massage while he was with Treize, hoping to use massages to tempt the other man into something of a more erotic nature, but had often ended up cracking his back for him instead.

Zechs glanced at the sullenly silent young boy next to him. He had never thought that the first thing he would do with his slave would be to crack his back, but, then again, he had never really thought of owning a slave before.

"You know that you are my first slave, don't you?" Zechs asked. The boy responded with a nod. "Then you know that I am new to this area. You will have to guide me until I fully understand the situation I have found myself in." Another nod. "I think it would help me to understand better if I knew more about you." A tight, quick nod. "Alright then, tell me about yourself. Have you had many masters?"

"Only eight," the boy said in a steady voice, staring straight ahead.

"So this number is low? How many masters do slaves usually have?"

"Most slaves will have about fourteen masters."

"I see. How long does a master usually keep a slave?"

"Good slaves are kept two or three years, and a master may keep a slave training for Collar for ten years or more, but bad slaves are only kept a few months to a year."

"So a slave works for over twenty years. Then what?"

"Then hey are no longer desirable. If they are skilled and less then hideous, they become one of the servants for the Owner. If they are less skilled or ugly, they are euthanised."

"By the Owner, who do you refer to?"

"The man who runs Collar."

"But who is he?"

"I don't know. No one but the top five finalists of Collar have even seen him."

Zechs nodded, for he knew that already. The entire reason for the operation was to become one of the top five in Collar in order to find out who ran Collar. Preventers wanted to bring the entire ring crashing down, and to do that they needed to start at the top.

"The euthanisations, where are they done?"

"L-2. The judicial system there allows the death penalty to be enforced two days after conviction for high crimes, such as treason. The slaves are falsely accused, convicted, and sentenced."

"No one's noticed?"

Heero resisted the urge to roll his eyes. "No one's noticed the slave ring, master, a few extra bodies on a planet like L-2 won't attract much attention at all," Heero said. L-2 was notorious for its corruption.

"I should have guessed. Now, just a few more questions for you. How can you be so open about this? Shouldn't it be a secret? Who told you?"

"You are my master, and as such I am not permitted to hide anything from you. If I do not answer a question honestly, I will be punished. However, everyone, slave and master, knows about what happens to retired slaves. Even the L-2 police force knows about it, but there's no proof, so there's no danger."

Zechs smiled and gently ran hand through the boy's hair. "You've done very well in answering my questions, and I am very pleased. I will reward you for this behavior later. Now, go turn on the other set of lights, I would like to inspect you."

Heero immediately obeyed, turning on another set of lights so that the kitchen was well lit. Zechs rose and approached him.

Heero was thin from being undernourished, but there were still traces of muscles on his arms and legs. He was lanky and somewhat short, but the light dusting of hair and his chest and the soft, dark curls of his groin attested to the fact that he had hit puberty and Zechs, with relief, accredited his height to his heritage, not his age. Zechs gently took one of the boy's hands. Heero had long, thin fingers. His hands were soft, but he had small callouses on his palm, as though he had been working with a sword or gun. Zechs pushed Heero to turn around, then slowly ran his hands over the boy's back. In the dimmer light, Zechs had felt the many scars on the boy's back, but had not been able to see them. Now, in the stark light, the scars stood out as the evidence to a brutal beating the boy had received. There were nine thick, scars running along his back at all directions, in addition to over a dozen smaller, thinner ones. Overcome by the sight, Zechs knelt left a trail of kisses down the lines of scarred flesh. Heero tensed in surprise, but didn't resist. Once finished, Zechs rose again. Deliberately, he ran his hand over the boy's ass, cupping and squeezing each cheek. Despite the scars, Heero was still a gorgeous young man, and one that he was expected to sleep with. Sex was actually the only part of the mission he thought he might enjoy, and he felt guilty about that.

"Do you approve, master?" Heero asked.

"Yes," Zechs responded immediately, "You are beautiful."

Heero frowned, as though hurt. Zechs caught sight of the look, and frowned in confusion.

"What's wrong?"

"There's no need to be cruel. I am well aware that my scars are... less than appealing."

Without a word, Zechs spun the boy around and kissed his surprised mouth. Heero's lips were open in a gasp, and Zechs took advantage of this to invade the boy's mouth with his tongue, making their first kiss deep and far from chaste. Heero said nothing, but his breathing deepened and, after the initial shock was gone, did his best to keep up with his master. Only when the two could no longer hold their breaths did they part.

"Now do you believe me?" Zechs questioned. Heero nodded, a slight blush stealing across his features. "I will assume that you are not a virgin, but I was told that you have not been with anyone in a long time. Is that correct?"

"I have not participated in sex for many months," Heero replied, attempting to regain his control.

"Then I will not take you tonight, but I will not hold back in the future. You must learn to please me before we leave for the Collar banquet, and I intend to allow you plenty of opportunities to practice."


	5. Heero

My new master was tall, intimidating, and sexy. Many masters were tall, and all of them were intimidating, but it was pleasant to find one that had a sexual appeal. Most masters were old, and many were overweight, both of which were only compounded by the fact that they were cruel. My new master struck me as fair-tempered, just, and perhaps even kind. But it didn't matter. This master would not keep me any longer than any of the others had, and I had already resolved myself not to keep any new masters.

After the kiss, the master allowed me to have a sandwich from the fridge. I don't think the master quite knew how long it had been since I had last eaten. He stayed in the kitchen with me while I consumed it, then seemed terribly shocked when I vomited into the trash can. The few moments my stomach had been full had felt good, but I had known that my stomach could not hold anything as heavy as a sandwich after being empty for over four days.

Surprisingly, once I had finished vomiting, the master heated me a can of soup, then once again sat with me while I ate, at a much slower pace this time. Having already vomited, I managed to keep the soup down better than I had the sandwich.

Once I had finished eating, the master took me into the bedroom and to a small bathroom adjoining. I was given my own toothbrush, which was common for a slave to have since no master wants a slave with bad teeth, and the master and I brushed out teeth together, which was uncommon, as masters tended to want to be above their slaves even in such matters. Slaves were often not permitted to use the same bathroom as their masters, and certainly not the same toothpaste.

I was unsurprised when the master changed for bed with me in the room, but I was again surprised when he motioned for me to sleep with him. He must have seen my confusion, as he was quick to reassure me that he had not gone back on his word and he was still not going to take me. Instead, this only served to confuse me more. It was common for masters to go back on their words, but masters usually had slaves sleep on the floor, not in the bed with them. Still, I managed to attribute this strange behavior to the fact that I was his first slave, and he probably had not yet learned how much abuse a slave could take. In the most literal sense, the slave's life was in his master's hands.

It was the middle of the night when I made my move. The clock read 1:28, but my cue was actually my master's deepened breathing. Once I knew he was fully asleep, I slipped out of the bed and headed to the closet.

Many masters kept their slaves naked or almost naked all the time not only to use the sexually, but also a deterrent for a runaway slave. My master, however, was so green that he had not put a lock on the closet, and I managed to find a pair of drawstring pants and a shirt that would fit. As I put them on, I realized that, other than the robe, they were the first real clothes I had worn in months. Once clothed, I quietly searched the bottom of the closet and eventually came up with a pair of shoes which, tied as tightly as I could manage, just barely stayed on my small feet.

From there, it was a simple matter to slip down the stairs and out the back door. Once outside, I began to run away from the house and parallel to the road, as I didn't want my master to find I was gone and run me down in the car. I knew that it was going to be a long walk to find another house, and I knew that I looked like a vagrant, so there was little hope of finding help, but as long as I could find a tool shed of some kind I could manage to get this collar off, and that was my real aim. Anything after that was just bonus, but I had to get the collar off. I had worn my collar for so long... it was suffocating me. It had been for years.

My first clue that the escape was not going to be as easy as I had predicted came when I noticed movement in the trees to my left. The night was dark, but the sky was clear, and the moon's light managed to cast a glow over everything, so that it was easy to see shadows and movement, but difficult to see anything else. Up until that time, I had been walking, but once I saw that I began to run. I was certain that my master had not come to run me down on foot, and I had seen no signs of a dog living at the house, but there was certainly something in the forest with me. I hoped it wasn't wolves.

My fear of wolves was put to rest when a voice yelled, "Hey you! Halt!" Instead, I ran as fast as I could, but I had not counted on being chased. My shoes were too big, and made running difficult. The man who was chasing me was fast, and quickly gained on me. I huffed and struggled, but I was out of shape from my months in the cage, and had not gained back the calories necessary to run long distances. Compounding my problem, there was suddenly another man to my left, who was faster than his partner and quickly tackled me to the ground.

I went down hard, with the man on top of me, but not as hard as I could have. The man seemed more intent on keeping me down than hurting me, and once he was certain I was immobilized he removed most of his weight from me. As it was night, my eyes had adjusted to the darkness and almost invisibility, and were painfully startled when one of the men suddenly turned on a flashlight. I had to close my eyes, so I couldn't see the two men holding me down.

"Is that the...?"

"Yeah, that's 'im. Didn't think he'd be so young, though."

"'S a shame, but the commander can keep 'im out of trouble, if anyone can."

"Up you go," on of the men said as the two lifted me to my feet. I stumbled a bit at the sudden movement, but finally managed to stand.

"I'll take him back to the house. You radio the commander and tell him we're bringing him back. Take the air patrol off of standby."

"Will do."

Air patrol? Commander? What kind of master was I under, that he could have such military power?

It didn't matter, though. I had tried to run away. My master would surely return me to the cages, and this time they would not wait around for someone new enough to take me on. This time they'd simply kill me.

For a fleeting moment, as the guard dragged me back to the house, I thought about trying to run again, but my chances of even getting away from the grip the guard had on my arm were so low that I didn't even bother. There was no way I could out run them, especially now that I was winded and my ribs hurt from being plowed to the ground. I would collapse before running three feet.

Master met us at the door and took me from the guard.

"Did he give you much trouble?" my master asked.

"Nah, he's just a kid. He probably wouldn't have made it much further anyway."

"Hmm. Well, thank you for returning him. I will be more careful in the future. We can't risk him getting away, not at this point. Good night, soldier," master said, dismissing the guard. I wondered why master was so bent on keeping me. I knew that it was considered extremely humiliating to let a slave get away, not to mention dangerous, but surely master knew that he could simply trade me in for a different slave. I was nothing important. I wasn't even expensive.

Master pulled me inside and shut the door slowly, looking tired. I wondered if it was because I had disturbed his sleep, but something told me it was deeper than that. This was the kind of fatigue that you feel right down to your very bones, when it seems like there's nothing good left in the world. I had felt that way many times, but I had never seen a master look so... forlorn.

"You know I'm going to have to punish you, right?" he asked, still not looking at me.

"Yes, master."

He turned then, and I could see that the fatigue had been pushed into the background, and he was a master once again. He stepped up to me and began pulling his clothes off of my body. Both sets of the kitchen lights had been turned on and it was very bright. The bruises on my abdomen and shoulder contrasted greatly with my pale skin and I wondered if this would annoy master even more. I already had my scars, and now with these bruises I was even less aesthetically pleasing.

But master wasn't focused on my shoulder. Instead, he carefully poked and prodded my chest around where one of the large bruises was. He was not gentle, but it couldn't be said that he was hurting me, either, so I assumed that this was not part of my punishment.

"It doesn't look like you broke anything; however, any more such activities and you could land yourself in the hospital," master said. It didn't sound like a threat, though, as it had with my other masters. Master allowed his hand to trail one last time over my stomach, then stepped back.

"Follow me," he said in a stern voice.


	6. Zechs

On the list of things I didn't want to do, this was in the top ten. Beating Heero was right up there amongst killing babies and kicking the shit out of nuns. It was close to pistol-whipping Relena, my own sister. But if I didn't beat Heero, he might grow suspicious, and then the mission would have to be scrapped. With that thought in mind, I led the unresistant Heero down the hall to the playroom.

Playroom was probably a bad name for that particular room. It would be better suited as something like, "the rape and torture room," or "the kinky bondage sex room." For that is what it really was. I won't even describe what all was in that room, for I, thankfully, never had to use most of it.

Predominant in the room was a rack with tethers in each corner to hold the arms and legs. It was more than strong enough to hold the boy that entered before me, but I decided against using it. I had to punish him, but I would do no good by causing permanent damage. Besides, I could completely understand his reason for running away, so I tried to appease some of my guilty conscience by using a lesser punishment that I would have had he attached me or become violent and disobedient. As it was, I had never expressly forbidden him from running away, so he hadn't actually broken a promise to me.

I left Heero standing near the door as I opened one of the many trunks and pulled out a slim wooden paddle. Heero watched it as I turned around, but wouldn't show fear on his face. I know I must have looked intimidating, in a pair of plain blue sleeping pants and a white wife-beater top. When it came to muscles, I might not be the biggest, but I was certainly nothing to scoff at. Compared to Heero, I looked like I could easily break the boy in half.

Heero showed nothing on his face, though. As I thought back, I couldn't remember a time he'd shown any deep emotion on his face, except for the moment he woke up in the car. It seemed as though he had somehow managed to bury almost all of his emotions. I realized that I couldn't allow that. If I was going to win his trust, I needed to win his emotions.

For trust is what I truly needed from him. More than obedience, I needed to know that I could trust him, and that he would trust me as well. Without trust, I could not open communication to learn what only slaves knew within Collar. Of course, it was almost hypocritical of me to ask for such trust, as I could not trust him with information about my true motives. I would ask him to bear his soul to me, but I could not even let him know the type of man I truly was.

"Did you know that I was once an interrogator, and a spy?" I asked. Heero only tensed, thinking perhaps that I was trying to bully him. I sat down in the chair, crossing my legs and leaning forward. "I don't say this to scare you, I merely want you to know that I am aware of people who are false, and I will not tolerate any fake crying or moaning."

I stopped talking and watched Heero. He nodded, and I could tell that he was thinking I had asked him not to cry out, and he would do his best not to.

"Good. Now, understand, this exercise is not only about punishing you for trying to escape, but also about teaching you to reveal emotion. I know that you haven't known me for very long, but you must learn to trust me fairly quickly. As such, I am going to begin by asking you to trust me with your emotions. Until you are able to do that, the punishment will not stop."

Heero raised his eyebrows, the only signal that he was in the least bit surprised. That was what I had expected, though. He had held the emotions inside for so long, he needed to let them loose. He needed a way to vent, or he would certainly die.

"Alright then, come on," I said, and motioned to my lap. Heero was smart and, after seeing the paddle, realized what I intended and laid himself across my lap.

I didn't start right away. He would have expected that. Instead, I took the time to resettle him across my lap so that my knee wasn't digging into his stomach, and so that he could breathe easily. I doubted that this would be a short process. Once he was settled, I ran my hands across his back, through his hair, and over his ass. I was giving myself time to prepare, while sensitizing his skin. When I was finally ready to start, I didn't surprise him with it, but gave him plenty of time to prepare himself for the blows.

The first hit landed with a resounding smack. Heero tensed his body, but otherwise remained unmoved. I followed the first smack with a volley of evenly spaced blows. I allowed Heero just enough time to take a breath after each blow, before following it with the next. I made sure not to hit the same spot over and over, which could have been damaging to his skin, but spaced my blows all over his upper thighs and butt.

There was no clock in the room, but I would have guessed it was twenty minutes later as I continued to land blows on Heero's ass. Both cheeks had turned a glowing read from the punishment I was inflicting and I was fairly certain that he would have some bruises the next day, despite my attempts to the contrary. Heero himself had begun to pant, but showed no other sign of distress. I was beginning to worry that my arm would give out before Heero did. It gave me a new respect for the boy, but even he was only human.

I didn't notice the first sobs; they were so quiet. Actually, I didn't notice anything as Heero quietly began weeping until his small voice sobbed, "Stop. Please, master, stop. No more." I don't actually think he expected me to stop, but I did instantly. I dropped the paddle on the floor next to the chair and pulled him up to sit on my lap, allowing his head to rest on my shoulder. I had to sit him so that only his thighs were on my legs, as I don't think he could have taken that much weight on his butt right then, which made me have to hold onto him with my left arm to keep him from falling, as my right arm was barely functioning.

I let him cry himself out as I stroked hi hair, patted his back, and just held him. I didn't doubt that it was the first human kindness he received in quite some time, but I wouldn't let it be the last.

"I'm very proud of you. I know that must have been difficult for you. I'm grateful that you have trusted me, and I will never break that trust. Tomorrow we will work on trust more, for now you simply need to rest. You've done enough," I told him softly, then kissed the tears from his cheeks. He stared at me and, suddenly, I could read those clear blue eyes. They spoke to me of hopelessness, of pain and betrayal, of the drowning well of despair and helplessness, and of the walls closing in, coming down on top of him. I knew, at that moment, that the boy needed something to dream of, something to believe in. I just didn't know what dream I could spark within him, or what dream had been so terribly broken as to cause such a void. Not that living the life of a pleasure slave wouldn't cause a void itself.

When the tears had stopped, I carried him to bed. He was almost asleep before I even set him down, so drained was he from the emotional overload I had forced him through. I, however, could not find sleep so easily. Instead I ghosted to the den, where I sat in silence and wondered about the young man in the next room for many hours, wondering if I could truly put him through so much. But if I didn't, hundreds more would suffer. Could I sacrifice the boy to save a hundred nameless people that, for all I knew, could have deserved and even liked their current position? I fell asleep wondering that question.


	7. Zechs 6

The first glow of morning was just peeking through the clouds when I woke up to the sound of movement in the house. At first I thought that Heero might be trying to escape again, but he appeared in the doorway a moment later. Silently, he came over and knelt before me. He must have caught my curious stare, because he approached me and leaned against my legs, resting his head against my lap. I think it was the closest thing to a silent apology I could have gotten from him at the time. We stayed there in silence, enjoying the quiet for a few moments, but soon I had to ask Heero some questions to which the answers might very well alter my mission greatly.

"Where were you going, Heero?" I asked softly, trying to make it clear that I wasn't angry. Heero instantly understood that I was speaking of his attempt to run away.

"I needed to find people," he replied, his voice revealing the closing of his emotions, as though he expected me to be angry.

"Why? Would you have reported me?"

"What good would that have done? If you're powerful enough to be here, you're powerful enough to silence anyone who would criticize you, be it police or media. No... I merely wanted to find a tool shed."

"A tool shed?" I questioned, surprised, "But whatever for?"

"I..." Heero hesitated, "No slave is allowed to take of their collar, ever. And no master would let his slave out of their collar for more than a few minutes. It marks us as less beings, as property, and they don't want to break that barrier."

Heero lowered his head, sadness and despair creeping back into his voice, "I just wanted mine off for a few hours. Even just one night. It's suffocating me! I can't take it! I can't breathe!" he cried, then turned to me. His eyes were feverish and desperate. "If you would take it off for one night, just one night, I would do anything you asked of me. You would have my trust, and my eternal loyalty. Please!"

I hesitated, wondering what I was truly getting into, "Heero, I can't offer you freedom..."

"I don't care about freedom! I know I can never have that! I just want this damned collar off! Just for a night, please!" he begged, his eyes filling with the tears I had taught him to shed. I sighed, and Heero lowered his head, only two of the tears spilling down his cheeks.

"Tonight is almost over," I told him, "You have until this time tomorrow, then to collar goes back on, no questions asked," I said, then pulled the collar off with a small click.

Heero's face... saying that it lit up can't even begin to describe him. It was like fireworks in front of a full moon and a starry sky. The pain fell from his eyes, and he looked up at me with such adoration for such a small thing that I could barely stand it.

"Thank you," he whispered, "thank you, master."

I smiled at him and chuckled lightly. "I suppose," I said, "that since you're not a true slave right now, it would be alright for you to call me Zechs. Just don't get used to it, I'm still your master."

I pulled Heero onto the couch beside me, and he fell asleep again with his head in my lap while watching late night TV. I fell asleep soon after, knowing that he would not attempt to run away now that his plea had been fulfilled. I hoped that by giving him this small thing I would allow him to dream of bigger things enough that he would cooperate with me on this mission. Even if it didn't turn out that way, seeing such a look of joy on Heero's face made it worth while.

Breakfast was scrambled eggs, bacon, toast and orange juice, as I was still trying to help Heero regain his strength and weight. I pretended to order it from a little buffet in town, but in truth a chef hired by Preventers would cook whatever I needed any time of the day then have an agent deliver it to my door. Due to the size and severity of the problem I was now trying to solve, Preventers had spared no expense, and had anticipated a long reconnaissance period. My deadline was within three years, a length of time I desperately hoped not to reach.

After last night's display, which consisted of Heero unexpectedly vomiting everything he had eaten, I was a little nervous about how Heero would handle breakfast, and insisted we eat in the kitchen. Heero, however, gorged himself with no trouble at all, filling his stomach to the brink after having it empty for so long.

After his big breakfast, Heero could barely move, but managed to cart himself over to the couch before flopping down face first with a contented smile. He had been careful of his sore butt, and I suddenly realized that he had even eaten breakfast standing up for that reason. With an affectionate smile, I turned on some soft music and curled up in the corner with a book.

Heero listened to the music and dozed for about an hour before I tired of reading and closed my book. I had intended to sneak upstairs while Heero was asleep, but the sound of my book closing woke him, and he looked at me blearily before yawning, stretching, and giving me a warm smile.

"Where are you going, master?" he asked.

"I thought I told you to call me Zechs for today."

"Where are you going, master Zechs?" Heero asked with a sly smile. It was the first time he had been brave enough to tease me, and I took it as a good sign.

"Well I was going to go to my room, but perhaps you'd like to join me for a swim? I don't suppose you noticed the pool out back on your little adventure last night."

Heero merely smiled and rose to follow me outside. Heero had been naked almost since he had arrived, and I didn't have any clothing that wouldn't aggravate his sore ass, so I simply threw off my clothes and we went "skinny dipping" in the pool.

I soon learned that Heero loved the water, and was a world class swimmer. After entering the pool slowly, with a loud hiss as the cold water stung his thighs and butt, Heero quickly proved to be able to both out swim and out maneuver me in the water. When I asked him about it, Heero told me that he had not originally been trained as a slave, but as a body guard and assassin. He said that he had been trained for aquatic missions, and he had particularly enjoyed training underwater, almost as much as he had liked zero-G training.

The fact that Heero was combat trained both surprised and pleased me. I was surprised that anyone with Heero's current docile demeanor could have been trained to fight, but I was also pleased that the boy would be able to defend himself if my mission took a turn for the worse. I had often worried that a slip up of mine would cause some defenseless slave great damage. I vowed to begin retraining Heero in combat as soon as possible, mission or no.

Heero tired himself out soon and, though he was reluctant to leave the water, I made him go inside and dry off rather than risk fishing him from the bottom of the pool if the exertion should cause him to faint.

I soon found my intuition to be correct, as Heero dried off in my room and, unable to even stand any longer after such physical exertion, simply flopped himself down on the bed and was instantly asleep. I chuckled at the sight of him, hair still dripping, slumbering happily with one leg, one arm, and most of his head hanging off the bed. Gently I moved him so that he was more safely seated on the bed, then laid a spare blanket over his still form, lest he catch a chill.

It seemed almost cruel to me, but I also knew it was necessary, so while Heero slept I logged onto an Internet site that was supposedly affiliated with Collar and produced bondage wear. Once there, I skipped passed the pictures of nude slaves with various erotic toys and began searching for a new collar.

I had realized shortly after Heero had dozed off last night that the fact that his collar was not only made out of coarse leather, but was also thick, wide, and about a size too small for him had most likely all contributed to his feelings of claustrophobia when wearing it. That said, I began looking for slim, unobtrusive, and loose collars. Hopefully, I could find something light and small, yet elegant and noticeable. Of course, first I had to work through an appalling amount of leather, spiked, shock, chain, and other such collars before I could find anything I would even think of allowing my slave to be seen in. I finally found one that I liked after searching for what seemed like an eternity. It was a loop that was designed to rest on the slave shoulders and drape down elegantly just above the breast bone and the back of the neck. It actually looked like more of a necklace than a collar, the only difference was the this one was pure gundanium wrapped in a silver finish, and had a small loop on it for a leash or tag. The collar was also ingenious, as well as beautiful. The gundanium inside the collar was charged so that it was malleable in order to allow the master to put it on the slave. Once it was on, the master merely had to press a small electronic key to the collar and the gundanium would be uncharged, causing it to snap into one large loop and retain its nearly indestructible shape.

With a quick glance at Heero, I hurriedly ordered four of the collars, along with four tags containing my seal. A master's seal was like a signature, only less traceable so that there was no actual paper trail to follow, a fact that had annoyed Une and the Preventer's agents considerably. It was safer for Heero to wear his collar with my seal, as other masters would know who he belonged to and keep their distance. Hopefully.


	8. Zechs 7

Once finished with arrangements for the collars and a quick phone call to Une to have her use her Preventer's authority to have the collars here by nightfall, I quietly slipped downstairs and ordered lunch for Heero and myself. As I was finishing up the phone call, Heero came tromping down the stairs, rubbing his eyes, yawning, and walking considerably stiffly.

"I suppose you're feeling that late night outing, along with our aquatic adventure?"

"Hn. It's nothing I can't handle."

"No, but I suppose you're rather sore."

Heero grunted an affirmative and I had to laugh as Heero contemplated one of the kitchen chairs, then thought better of it and remained standing.

"Unfortunately, you're probably going to be more sore instead of less before tonight's over," I said. Heero looked at me warily, his eyes full of suspicion. I guess I hadn't earned the kind of trust I had thought yet, but I wasn't discouraged. Heero had shown good progress so far, but I wasn't hoping for miracles.

"Why?" Heero asked, eyeing me. Before I could answer, the door bell rang, and I smirked and went to get it.

"I guess you'll just have to trust me on this. Now, set the table and I'll be back with lunch in a minute."

When I returned to the kitchen, Heero immediately bombarded me with questions about my comment, but I simply chuckled and refused to answer. Heero pouted, but there wasn't really anything he could do.

Once lunch was finished, I asked Heero to clean up the few dishes we had made while I went to change clothes. I knew that he was still anxious about what I had said, but I had decided to make him wait just a little bit longer. When I returned, Heero was finishing the last of the dishes and I handed him a pair of shorts. He took them, then stared at me.

"Put them on," I instructed, with a smile.

"Why?" he asked, while obeying my command.

"Because we don't want you weewee getting in the way for this."

Heero paused in pulling up his shorts and simply stared at the floor. After a moment, he finished pulling the shorts up and frowned at me.

"Did you just say what I think you said?" he asked.

"What?" I questioned, confused.

"You... Did you just say weewee?"

"Yes. Why? What's wrong with weewee?"

"I... It's not very... masculine..."

"I suppose not. What would you prefer it to be called?"

"I don't know. A dick?"

"But that sounds so crude. How about a thingey?"

"That's vague. What about penis?"

"That's unflattering. Cock?"

"How's that any better than dick?"

"I suppose your right. What about a wang? It's descriptive yet flattering."

"It's good enough, I suppose. Though I don't really see how that's flattering or descriptive."

"Well we could always call it a..."

"No, wang is fine," Heero commented with a smile. I could tell that he was just as amused by this conversation as I had been.

"Alright then, to the training room," I said. Heero's smile disappeared and his face lost some of its color. I was taken aback by the sudden change and took a hurried step to his side, afraid he was about to faint. "Heero? What's wrong?"

"No... I... I-it's nothing. I just..." he paused, turning his face to me, "What-what kind of training are we doing?"

I frowned in confusion. "Well, I was going to have you do some weight training today, but by the way you look right now that's out of the question. I suppose you could try some yoga or floor gymnastics, if you feel up to it, but I'd almost rather you went to lie down. You've only been here a day and..."

"That room you took me to last night when I... when you punished me," he said, his eyes almost feverish, "What was it called? Is it the training room?"

"No. I've been calling that room the playroom, though it's not a very good name."

Heero stared at me for a moment, his eyes trying to drill into my soul, then suddenly, as though the tension had spilled from his body, he suddenly sagged to the floor. I was not quick enough to hold him up, and could merely slow his descent to the floor, then drop beside him.

"What is it? What's wrong?" I asked, very close to panicking. If there was something wrong with him that I didn't know... a disease, an allergy, anything, his life could be in danger. I knew so little about him that, suddenly, I was afraid for him.

"It's nothing," he tried to sooth. "I was... scared."

"Scared?" I asked him, and reflecting I saw that it was not a total lie. He hadn't been scared, though, he had been damn near terrified to death. "Scared of what?"

"I thought... the training room... My other master had a training room. It's where he gave me these scars on my back. He got drunk and whipped me for losing an earing that he hadn't let me wear, then left me on the floor in the room. He left me there for three days. When he came back, I found out he had forgotten about me, and wouldn't have seen me if he hadn't tried to punish another slave. After that, he gave me to the rest of his slaves to care for, said it would seem weak if he sent for a doctor. The slaves didn't know what they were doing, and the wounds didn't heal right. He sold me in a month, but by then the damage was done. When you said training room... "

"You thought you were going to be punished. But why so much fear now, and so little last night?"

"I had expected it last night. It was a possible outcome of my actions, and I accepted it. I also knew that most trainers in your position would have returned me the next day, so any pain you inflicted would be short lived, as I would be dead within two days of being returned. But, now," he paused, "I wasn't sure of what I had done. I didn't know how bad the punishment would be, or how long I would have to suffer. I had trusted you, and I had thought..."

"You thought that I had broken that trust," I finished for him. He gave a small nod and leaned against me. Gently, I stroked his hair and patted his head.

"But you didn't," he whispered, "I was so scared, but you're not like them."

"But I am, Heero," I whispered to him, sad and ashamed that I had to do it. "Once we get to Collar, I'll be just like them."

"No, you won't," Heero protested. "Even at Collar, most of the pain, most of the punishments are given out privately." Heero turned to me, staring at me intently, "I've had two masters who wanted to be in Collar for political reason. They were both kind, but neither was strong enough to stand that kind of torment for very long, and they sold me and left within a year. You're stronger. I know you can do it."

Heero didn't know it, but he had just given me the perfect alibi. If there were others in Collar who didn't want to hurt their slaves, then perhaps I would be able to use that as an excuse.

I smiled warmly and pulled his head against my shoulder, stroking his hair.

We sat on the floor like that for a long time, but finally my legs began to cramp and I had to stand up.

"Do you feel like doing some exercises?" I asked. Heero nodded and stretched. I noted that Heero had been sitting on his legs, Japanese style, so that his sore bottom would not touch the floor. I chuckled.

"Still sore, eh?" I asked. He nodded. "Well, it's your own fault, but I'm sure it will feel better by tomorrow. Now worries," I said, helping him up. "If not, I'll have Sally take a look at it when she comes over. She could prescribe something for it, unless you're just being a baby," I said with a wink, but this time Heero didn't take the teasing.

"Who's Sally?" he asked as I led him to what I had decided to call the mini-gym.

"She's one of my personal physicians. She'll be giving you a check-up the day after tomorrow."

"Why? I said I wasn't sick," he commented as I opened the door.

"I simply want to be sure. Now, no more arguing. Save your breath for your workout," I warned. Heero instantly heeded me, and the subject was closed. I failed to mention that, after my epiphany about his physical well-being in the kitchen, there was no way he was getting out of a checkup. I simply had to call Sally and arrange it.

I allowed Heero to do an hour of stretches, which I was present for most of. The only time I left him was when the doorbell rang, and he was under strict instructions not to try anything new while I was gone.

The doorbell turned out to be a package, one that I took with a heavy heart. I had grown fond of Heero in the short time he was with me, and I didn't cherish the thought of putting another collar on him.

Still, I didn't want to ruin the rest of his day with my sour mood, so I called him to quit once the package was safely stored away and offered that we should both relax in the hottub on the back porch.

Heero couldn't have been happier with my suggestion, as his muscles were not used to so much exercise and he could feel them preparing to cramp horribly. I think Heero would have allowed himself to boil in the hottub, had I not forced him out for dinner.

Dinner was a quiet affair, I think more because Heero is a quiet person and I was not feeling overly talkative myself. Still, it was a companionable silence, and I was content with it.

Once the food was finished and the dishes stored away, I asked Heero if he wanted to watch TV or play a board game.

"Could we..." he started, his eyes going wistfully toward the window.

"What?"

"It's been a long time since I've been outside. It's still warm tonight. Do you think we could go outside for a while?"

It was such a small request, but from the look in his eyes you would have thought he has asked me to pull down the moon and hand it to him. I could only nod and grab a blanket from the spare closet.

Heero was naked again, as he had no clothes of his own and the only spare pair of shorts that fit him were now dirty. But he seemed almost natural in only his skin, not self-conscious at all, and I couldn't reasonable complain about the view. I, on the other hand, was a little more modest, more because I knew that my soldiers were out in the forest than anything. I had dawned an old pair of shorts to at least cover my modesty.

When I opened the door to the yard, I knew I was right about grabbing the blankets. It wasn't cold outside yet, but it certainly wasn't warm enough for someone to be out naked either. In the failing light of dusk, I worked my way across the deck and into the yard. There I laid the blanket down and, pulling Heero down with me, wrapped the two of us in the blanket. We waited until the sun was gone and long after the stars had come out. Heero stared at the sky like it was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen, and I was enjoying his slim, supple young body against my bare skin, knowing that I would claim it for my own before long.

It was a combination of hunger and cold that finally forced me back inside.

"Heero," I nudged gently, disturbing his gaze. "Heero, it's time to go back inside."

I could see, from the way his eyes fell a bit, that he also knew what that meant. I could tell now that he had not forgotten what was to come at the end of the night either, and was also dreading it. He did not complain, though, nor protest, but simply nodded his head softly and rose to go inside.

Once inside, I told Heero to order food, I didn't care what, then come to the bedroom. While he was doing that, I went to the room and, with a heavy heart, unpacked the collars.

"You know what must be done," I told him as he entered.

"Yes. I am grateful for what you have given me," he said, his face solemn, "I will not ask for more," he finished, and handed me his old, leather collar. I tossed it to the bed.

"You must wear a collar, but it will not be that one. Here," I said, slipping the new collar around his neck and fastening it with the lock.

Heero fingered it a bit before I pulled him to the mirror to look at it. After a thorough inspection, he turned to me.

"It... is not so bad. Thank you."

"I'm glad you like it. I thought that maybe the weight and size of the other one might have made you..."

"No," he interrupted, "I have had many collars, and they have all felt the same. It's not the collar, it's you. I trust you, so the collar is not such a great burden to bear."

I smiled and nodded, then led him out of the room.


	9. Heero 8

I awoke the next morning before my master, and quietly left the bed, careful not to disturb him. A life of waiting on other men had taught me to function on little sleep, and even less food. Beyond that, though, the hours I had spent dozing the day before would have been more than enough to ensure an early morning for me the next day.

With any other master, I would have tried to sate his sexual appetite first thing in the morning, as many masters enjoyed that, but master Zechs had yet to initiate sexual contact, and I could not bring myself to do so.

Not that it was repulsive to me. I had belonged to many masters, and almost all of them had found me physically appealing. It was only once I had been given my scars that I was considered less of a commodity. I hadn't had a master since. Such being the case, I was uncertain if master Zechs could bring himself to want me, or if the scars would make him seek another slave for pleasure. I had seen many slaves discarded for less, I would not begrudge my master for not wanting my body in that way, and I knew he had already decided I would be useful for some other purpose. And, if that purpose turned out to be Collar, as I suspected, then I would need to begin a heavy workout routine to make sure I didn't fail my master.

Which is why, with dawn just breaking over the horizon, I walked into the weight room and began to work out.

Despite my current condition, I had, at one time, been highly athletic. I had always been slim, but my first master was a scientist and had used many enhancements to make my body strong and quick. He was hoping to enter me in Collar alone and let me take a high place in both the athletic and knowledge based challenges, thus driving my price sky high. He hoped that with the money he earned from selling me he would be able to fund his research for the next several years. Unfortunately, he died before Collar began.

My next owner had no interest in entering me in Collar, and had no notion of my training or value. He considered me a useless burden, and from him my position and health continually dropped. It was with him that I first began to feel the burden of my collar, and subsequently attempted to escape.

I worked out on the rowing machine first, to warm up, but quickly switched to the free weights. I knew that it would take some time to get back to my peak condition, but I also knew that my training and modifications would allow me to do it in a considerably short period of time, as long as I was well fed and could bear the stress it caused my muscles. To escape this pain, I had learned when I was young to put myself in a sort of trance, and it was a skill that quickly returned to me in master Zech's care. As I rapidly pushed the metal bar up and allowed it to come back down, I felt myself begin to pull away.

This, unfortunately, is the reason I did not notice my master when he entered. I actually did not notice him at all until he was standing directly over top of me, and even then only when he growled, "What are you doing?"

In retrospect, I'm actually glad he was standing there. I was so startled that I dropped the bar, which would have come down on my head with enough force to shatter my skull. Instead, master managed to grab it and put it back on the rack even as I, in my fear, was scurrying off the bench to kneel at his feet.

"Please forgive me, master," I pleaded, my forehead pressed against the mat-covered floor. After a moment, I dared to look up.

Master was leaning against the equipment as though he had, as I had, just been scared out of his wits. He took a deep breath to collect himself, then gave me a small smile.

"Do you even know what you did?" he asked. I tried desperately to think of something I could have done to annoy my master but, other than things I had already been punished for, I could not. Clenching my fists in fear, I shook my head.

"Honestly," he said, sitting down on the bench, "I'm not even sure now," he said, and motioned for me to sit beside him. I did so, but kept my eyes lowered.

"I'm sorry I snapped. I shouldn't have done that," he said, and I gaped at him. No master had even admitted being wrong to me before. "I woke up this morning," he continued, "and found you gone. I was afraid you had run away again. Next time you want to get up early, just tell me before we got to bed," he said, stroking my hair. I was relieved that I hadn't done something serious. My relief, however was short lived, as master suddenly stilled and forced me to look at him. He had a very serious, almost angry look on his face. "Do not use the free weights again without a spotter, ever. If you do, you will be severely punished. Do not come in here alone again until after we have you checked out by the doctor. Don't ever come in here again without telling someone that you're going to be here," he said, in a tone that told me just how severe the punishment would be if I disobeyed. It was the first time master had spoken so harshly to me, but I was moved that he was so concerned with my well being.

"Yes, master," I replied quietly, "and thank you."

"You're welcome," master said gruffly, giving me another pat on the head. "Let's get some breakfast."

The rest of the day went by very quickly. I was allowed to continue my work in the weight room after a large breakfast, under the eye of my master. At lunch, master called a halt to my exercises and sent me to shower while he ordered lunch. Once lunch was through, master asked me many things about life at Collar, preparing for his first time there. His questions were very specific and he delved into the smallest details, like eating patterns and social structure, but knowing my master's personality I wasn't surprised that he was thorough.

Once we finished talking I attempted to return to the weight room, but master wouldn't hear of it. I think he could see that I was exhausting myself, as many of my masters had asked me to in order to train for Collar, but he wouldn't allow it. Instead, he took me out to the pool, where he allowed me only five laps before he instigated a water battle and distracted me from my training.

Master had me get out around dinner time and asked me to read over a paper Collar had sent to him about the Collar banquet. I am almost positive, however, that he was merely trying to get me to sit down, knowing that I was exhausted and would inevitably fall asleep, as everything on the paper I had already told him. His mission was a complete success, and I slept until dinner, at which time master woke me, forced me to eat, then sent me to shower, and finally put me to bed. Still, I could not complain. No other master had ever taken such good care of me and, even if it was only because I was his first slave, I was grateful for it.

I didn't even have time to worry about the doctor who was scheduled to come the next day. That situation, however, was rectified early the next morning.

"Master," I whispered, shaking his arm gently, "master, wake up."

"Hmm? Wha?" he asked, not opening his eyes.

"Can I go work out? I don't have to go to the weight room, I can..."

"No, go back to sleep."

"But..."

"I don't want you all sweaty for Sally."

"Sally?"

"Mm-hmm. The doctor," he said, turning on his side and throwing his arm over me as I lay in bed beside him. I stilled in surprise. Master peaked an eye open and smiled. "Forgot, did you?" I nodded. "Well, that's probably for the best. At least you were able to get a good night's sleep. We'll get up in about an hour, kay?" he asked, then immediately fell back to sleep.

Master's arm was around me, so I couldn't move, but there was also no way I could go back to sleep after news like that. Instead, I curled down into the blankets and played with master's beautiful long blonde hair. Slaves didn't have choices, so it had never mattered before, but I actually had a thing for guys with long hair. I dared to run my fingers through it and twirl it around my fingers, but no more. Master was asleep, or I never would have dared such an intimate gesture without permission. Still, I was attached to this master more than I had been to any other. I guessed that this was the type of thing people did for the ones they cared for. Like master buying me a new collar just to make me feel better.

I must have drifted off, because the next thing I was aware of was master saying, "Heero! Shit! Wake up, we overslept!"

Instantly I rolled out of bed. Master was on his feet on the other side of the bed looking frazzled and still half asleep. It was only then that I noticed the persistent pounding on the door.

"Shit!" master cursed again, "Alright, I've got to brush my hair and change clothes. Can you get the door? Tell Sally I'll be down in a minute," master said, rushing into the bathroom. I stared after him for a moment, then, with some hesitation, moved to comply with his order.

As I neared the door, I saw through the window that the doctor was not a tall woman, small and slim and relatively pretty. She held herself well, with the commanding bearing that many doctors held. Quietly, I opened the door and knelt on the floor in front of her.

Most masters would have understood this invitation. Mistress Sally, however, stared at me for what seemed like a long time before entering. I attributed this to my being master Zech's first slave. Once Sally was inside, I rose and shut the door, then turned and knelt at her feet once again.

"Master asked me to tell you that he would be down momentarily. I am at your service," I finished. My last statement was a common greeting from slave to master, as a master was always aware that any slave that had not been ordered not to obey them would have no choice but to obey or face the wrath of their master. Of course, it was generally accepted that a slave would use their best judgement on who the master would or would not want to obey, but it was also better to err by pleasing one master instead of displeasing two.

"Thank you," mistress Sally replied hesitantly. Doctors, as I had known, could be either masters, slaves, or neither. Master had not mentioned directly which mistress Sally was, but from her bearing I had assumed she was a master. Now, after her reaction, I wasn't so sure. Either way she was my superior, as she was either a trained slave, a master, or someone outside of Collar. I was not even considered a trained slave now that my health had failed.

As the minutes ticked on, I became aware that mistress Sally was fidgeting. She was pacing and seemed nervous and I couldn't understand why. She obviously knew my master and I was in the most unthreatening position I could find.

I was relieved when, a few minutes later, master came down the hall. My relief, unfortunately, was short-lived.

"Shit, Heero!" he cursed again. Either this was a really bad day or my master had a serious potty mouth that I had not been aware of. Also, I realized that I had forgotten to tell him that most masters preferred to call their slaves by pet names and that we would probably have to find one for me. I sat up and looked at my master.

"Please forgive me, but I am unaware of my transgression. I accept any punishment that you may wish to inflict on me, but I humbly ask that you tell me of my wrong, so that I may avoid it in the..."

"Shit," mistress Sally cursed, "they've got him whipped."

At the mention of a whip I flinched involuntarily and laid my head back on the floor, curling into myself as best I could in a kneeling position. Certainly I had not done anything that terrible, had I?

I heard Sally gasp and master came and sat down beside me. I was shaken and, when he reached for me, I couldn't help but flinch. Still, master was quiet and gentle as always and didn't seem mad, despite his earlier actions to the contrary. He pulled me, unresisting but limp with fear, into his lap and stroked my hair, trying to calm me.

"She didn't mean that the way it sounded. No one's going to punish you. You didn't do anything wrong," he said softly.

"Then why is everyone so upset?" I asked.

"I wasn't expecting to be greeted by a gorgeous, naked young man when I came here today," mistress Sally said, but she was smiling, so I assumed that all was alright. Some master allowed their slaves to wear clothes, often the more jealous ones. It had only been master Zechs and I, though, so I had never even considered that my master would want me to wear clothes. As for myself, most of my former masters had wanted me naked at all times, so I had never been body-shy except perhaps my first few days with my first master, but I couldn't even remember that far back. It seemed that master Zechs had not thought about it either, which led to our current situation.

"Would you like me to...?" I asked, but Sally shook her head.

"I suppose it's no use anyway. I'd simply have to make you take them back off," she said. I threw a questioning glance to my master, but Sally caught it and said hurriedly, "For the exam. I mean... not that... I wasn't implying that... Why don't we get some coffee?" she asked, obviously flustered. "I'm sure we could all use some coffee," she said, turning toward the kitchen, then muttered under her breath, "Especially me."


	10. Sally 9

Nothing, in all my years as a field medic in various wars and skirmishes, or my years at the academy, or my time at Preventers had prepared me in the least for showing up at the door of Zechs Marquis only to be greeted by a naked and beautiful young boy kneeling at my feet.

At first I was shocked and appalled. Then the shock wore off and I was simply appalled. I had heard that Zechs was infiltrating a slave ring, but I had never taken it so literally. I had almost thought it could be a joke, but the fact that the boy was obviously underfed and that he never looked at me convinced me otherwise. Finally, I managed to bring myself to step into the house.

The boy closed the door as soon as I stepped inside, then resumed his position on the floor. He still kept his head down, but raised it enough to tell me that Zechs would be a minute longer. I thanked him, then was at a loss for what to do. After what seemed like an eternity, Zechs appeared and convinced me that I was still sane by cursing in surprise.

The boy, unfortunately, assumed that he was in trouble. His apology led to my ill-advised comment of, "They've got him whipped," which nearly sent the boy into shock. It seemed that they, indeed, had whipped him. His back, revealed as he placed his head on the floor in fear, led gruesome credit to that theory.

Zechs, for his part, managed to save the situation. With a grace and compassion that I seldom saw him allow, he calmed the shaking creature and explained the situation. I could tell that he had been quite charmed by the boy and I was glad. I had been worried that he would not be able to work with the slave, but now that Zechs had formed a bond with the boy he would fight all the harder to save and free him.

I entered the kitchen and, locating the coffee pot, distracted myself with making coffee while trying to calm my nerves. Zechs entered and sat at one of the stools surrounding the counter behind me. Heero, I noticed, attempted at first to sit on the floor, but Zechs pulled him up to sit in a stool next to him. They spoke quietly and I tuned them out, not wanting to intrude on what was turning out to be a very personal mission for Zechs.

Once the coffee finished I poured three mugs and went to sit by the boys. Heero, it turned out, had never had coffee before. He didn't like the bitter taste at first, but added a little milk and seemed to quite like it. Zechs also added some milk along with a little bit of sugar. I alone drank black coffee, but I wanted the caffeine more than anything anyway.

When I had finished my cup, I finally felt calm enough to move on, though I was pretty certain there wasn't enough caffeine in the world to get rid of my nervousness completely.

"Alright, let's do this," I said, then remembered I had left my bag out in the car. "Shoot, just let me get my stuff. Zechs, take Heero into the den, please. I'll be there in a minute."

I rushed out to my car and back, realizing that I was somewhat behind schedule for the day. When I returned, Heero was sitting cross-legged on the couch, while Zechs was standing on the other side of the room. I knelt in front of Heero, which seemed to make him uncomfortable but I ignored that in light of recent events, and took out my instruments.

First up was the stethoscope. I placed it on Heero's back and instructed him to breathe in, then out. Next was his reflexes, which were actually better than normal. From there I moved to pupils, glands, ears, and nose, all of which were fine. I was sure to check Heero's vision and hearing, although I was fairly sure they were both fine. Lastly, I had Heero lie down and checked his organs. For the abuse he had received in light of his back, Heero was actually surprisingly healthy. Finally finished, Zechs dismissed Heero to go order lunch, and I was able to speak with him privately.

"He's malnourished, but you already knew that. The scaring on his back could be worked on, but that's all superficial. It shouldn't be hurting him. Other than that, he's surprisingly healthy for what he's been through. How's he working out?" I asked Zechs when we were alone.

"Wonderful, and terrible. He's a great kid, which makes it even harder for me to put him in this situation. If anything happens to him..." Zechs' voice was laced with guilt, he knew what he had to do, he just didn't like it.

"He's no worse off now than he was before. He'd be dead without you. You are trying to help him, you have to know that. And Heero knows that too. Just look at how much he trusts you. He adores you," I said. Even I could see just how taken the boy was with him.

"Of course he does. I'm probably the only person in ten years to show him any sort of kindness. He doesn't know any better."

"Don't be ridiculous. Those who have been hurt the most are the last to trust. He can see that you're trying to help him," I told him. His eyes were still dark with fears of the future.

"I hope you're right."


	11. Heero 10

I was glad when the doctor left, as mean as that sounds. She had thrown off the balance of the entire house and put my master in a dark mood. She had also reminded me that soon this little vacation would be over, and we would have to go to the Collar banquet. Once there, I knew the master would have to buy at least two slaves to be competitive in Collar. It was more likely that master would bet to try to win more slaves, as any with talent were already owned, which would mean terrible and painful slave games, or he might even trade me. In light of these facts, master wasn't the only one with low spirits.

I decided, that day, that I needed to prove to master that I was useful for more than lifting weights and answering doors. So when the master went to take his shower, I asked if I could join.

Master had not bathed with me before, but he had seen me naked, swam with me, laid with me, and sat in the hottub with me. He had never approached me for sex, but he was only human, and I had seen him become somewhat aroused before he could hide it. It also helped that, though I was naked, master was usually fully or at least partially clothed.

Being naked or swimming together, however, was quite different from being in a shower, which was a very small, very steamy enclosed space.

"Alright," master replied, then grabbed his towel and walked into the bathroom. I hadn't actually expected it to be so easy, but, then again, things often were a simple yes or no with my master, not like other masters I had belonged to.

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"You are magnificent," he told me once the kiss was finished. "Let's see if we can get through this shower without any more distractions and I'll show you the rest tonight," he said. I nodded. I hadn't expected to get any further than oral sex so soon, but master had been more than patient. I would be happy to give myself to him.


	12. Zechs 11

I'm not certain what motive Heero had for his sudden adventurousness that led to foray in the shower, but I was thankful for it. Had Heero not been so insistent on pleasing me, I'm not sure I could have asked him to sleep with me that night. I had often worried that he would fear sex and would try to escape my advances in any way he could. I knew I could never force him to have sex with me. His sudden interest, however, showed me that he not only wasn't afraid of sex, but that he also trusted me more than I had expected. He had been nervous in the shower when he sucked me off, but he was also talented and beautiful.

Heero was tired after the shower, as he had spent much of the day after Sally left to working out. I had a pleasant fatigue to my body due to my personal workout in the shower, so agreed to curl on the couch with him and watch some television. Heero was asleep in minutes, breathing gently against my collar bone as I tossed a soft afghan over him to keep off a chill.

It was late when I woke him for dinner, but he seemed very refreshed, so I wasn't worried that he would have any trouble keeping up with the activities I had planned for later. I actually ordered pizza for dinner, though I'm not particularly fond of it, because it was quick to eat and would leave virtually no mess to clean up. I let Heero put the pizza in the refrigerator while I brushed my teeth, then decided to prepare the bedroom while he took care of his own toilet.

I turned the lights to their lowest setting in the bedroom, light enough to see but dark enough to sleep with if neither of us could bring ourselves to leave the bed. I placed a small towel in the drawer of the night stand, in case there was any mess to clean up, and set a bottle of sandalwood oil beside the bed. I decided not to use any of the... mechanisms I had been provided with to... enhance the moment. I was still wary of frightening the boy, and I wasn't confident with the equipment to use them when I wasn't sure of Heero's reaction. If he were to panic with one inside him he could be seriously injured, and I wasn't willing to risk that.

Heero entered and looked surprised at the steps I had taken in preparation for our first night together. I supposed that I was acting more like a horny boyfriend than a controlling master, but I didn't care. He was my slave, and if I wanted to treat him like a prince, then I would. Without saying a word, I handed him a glass of red one. He looked from it to me. I nodded, and he downed it in one gulp.

Well, that didn't bode well.

Still, I could see that he was nervous, especially as he gave me a pleading look and I refilled his glass. Perhaps he was right. I wanted him relaxed for the night and, as long as he wasn't completely sloshed, a little alcohol wouldn't hurt. The pink tint of his cheeks, however, when he looked at me reminded me of just how long it had been since we had dinner, and I decided that Heero wasn't getting any more wine. As small as he was, and as light, two glasses was more than enough for him.

"Master..." he said, but I quieted him. He was still skittish, and I knew I would have to allay those fears.

"I know this is somewhat sudden, but I can promise you that you will enjoy tonight. As my slave, you must submit to me in this, but I can promise that I will make your obedience rewarding. You must trust me," I told him, gently running my thumb across his lips.

"I do," he replied softly, staring at me with those sultry blue eyes. He had never seemed so beautiful before, and I couldn't help but scoop him into my arms and carry him to the bed. He was startled at first, but chuckled as he realized what I had done. What a strange creature he must have thought I was.

_Removed for content. View my profile for places to view the full version._

It had been, without a doubt, mind blowing sex, and I could only hope that Heero felt the same way. As quickly as I could, I rolled my fatigued body off of Heero's smaller form. I had been worried that Heero would want nothing more to do with me after what we had just done, but it was quite the opposite. Heero quieted my fears of him being frightened and upset by our passion, and far exceeded my hopes. He seemed bolder and more comfortable with me, as he crawled onto my chest and snuggled down, a serene smile on his face unlike any I had seen on him before. He kissed my chest, then closed his eyes and allowed his breathing to even out into that of sleep. It seemed that I had worm the poor boy out.

With a chuckle, I snagged a towel off the night stand and quickly cleaned the two of us up the best I could, then pulled up the blanket and settled to sleep.


	13. Heero 12

I awoke sore but happy. It was the first time in months that I had felt the sticky, morning after feeling of sex, and the first time ever that I happy with it. There was none of the cold, lonely feeling in the pit of my stomach, knowing that I had been used and tossed aside once again. My master was still holding me, breathing softly against the top of my head. I had fallen to the side in the night, so was no longer on master's stomach, but I was held just as tightly by his arms as I curled against his chest. I knew that I should get up, but for once I allowed my self just a few more minutes of sleep. I knew that my master wouldn't be more than annoyed, and I trusted that he would not punish me harshly for it. I was rewarded for this trust by being held and snuggled until late in the morning. I had never felt so... cherished before.

I was jubilant through breakfast, though I'm well aware that my face, schooled by years of torture to show no expression, revealed very little of my emotions. I had never a master who cared for me as much as this one did, or even bothered to know me at all. I was grateful, and tried to give the trust that master had asked for as fully as I could. I felt brave enough, even, to tell master about the pet names.

"Pet names?" master echoed, confused. "Why would I want to limit myself to one pet name for you. I have several that I think would fit."

"It's not a pet name like that, master. It's a slave name."

"Oh. Why can't I call you Heero?"

"That's my real name. It's on my papers. Most masters keep their slaves' real names secret so that competitors won't try to claim them or hack into the files and transfer their ownership. The slave's real name is the master's property, but even he cannot change it, so it is something of a commodity."

"So Heero is your real name? What's your full name then?"

"Heero 10-1 Yuy."

"10-1? What does that mean?"

"A slave's middle name is always a number code. 10, meaning the tenth year of Collar's activation. 1, meaning I was the first slave brought in that year."

"I see. Well, I will continue to call you Heero when we are alone, but I suppose you will need a nickname for time when we are in public." Master paused, seeming to search the air for my new name. After a moment, he smiled. "Alright, I'll call you angel."

"Angel, master?" I questioned. "Are you certain?"

"What's the matter?" he asked, looking a little disappointed, "You don't like it?"

"I... I'm certain that there are several other pets called Angel, master. It might get confusing," I sidestepped, hoping to avoid making a direct answer.

"I suppose so," master conceded. "I suppose I'll have to give this some thought," he said, rising from the table and our finished breakfast, "Now, get to that workout, lazy one. Perhaps that's what I should call you. What do you think?" he teased. I gave him a glare and marched to the gym.

Lazy indeed!

It was late afternoon before master called a halt to my practice and I was nearly exhausted, but master had kept a close eye on me to keep me from fainting. I was pleased that I was already starting to regain strength in my limbs and almost purred from the compliments master had given me. I had hardly ever received compliments from my other masters and then usually if they wanted something from me, and my first master had always seen my flaws, never my triumphs. Master's compliments were genuine and I took them to heart, while also trying extra hard to fix any deficiencies the master pointed out. The pride in his eyes was well worth my sweat.

It was around the table again that my master struck up another conversation, which I could feel would turn into another of his information drilling sessions.

"What kinds of games do they play in Collar?" he asked as he lifted a fork of Chinese noodles to his mouth. It seemed that my master had never learned to use chopsticks. I used my chopsticks to lift a piece of pork to my mouth before answering.

"Do you mean the Collar tournament, or gambling?" I asked.

"Both, I suppose. What do they gamble with on Collar? How much do they spend?"

"They don't usually gamble for money on Collar. Sometimes a master will have a party game for a few thousand credits or something like that, but the serious gambling is done for slave papers."

"Oh? You mean they gamble away their slaves?"

"Not always, sometimes a slave must perform a certain act for the winning master, but, yes, sometimes a master will give their slave up through gambling."

"This is allowed?"

"Yes. A master is allowed to have several slaves, but the better slaves are almost always the ones who have been trained for a while. Certain masters take in nothing but new slaves and break them, but it is far easier to gamble for a slave that is already trained than one that is new."

"I see," master said again, staring morbidly into his glass of wine. Upset by this conversation, I took a drink from my own glass, filled with peach juice, and stared at the table.

I was terribly frightened that my master would gamble me away. It would be easy for master to purchase more slaves, but any he could get from a warehouse would be as disreputable as I was. If he were to gamble and lose me I would certainly be taken back to the warehouse.

"I'm not going to lose you," master said suddenly, startling me into spilling some of my juice. I looked up to find him staring at me and blushed. I must have allowed him to see how frightened I was.

"But, master," I reasoned despite myself, "you will need better slaves to win Collar. That is what you want, isn't it? I am certain that there are many slaves better..."

"You're not going to convince me to let you go, and I know you don't want to leave, so stop being foolish. If there are more capable slaves out there you will just have to work harder. Now, look at me," he said, pulling my face to meet his eyes, "I will not lose what is mine, angel."

The emotion overcame me for a moment and I had to look away. When I looked back up I smiled and tried to look teasing.

"So, I guess my name is angel?" I said, my tone as disappointed as I could make it through my relief.

Master chuckled and said, "We'll see," then continued with the questioning. "What kinds of gambling do they play at Collar? Something like cards or horse races?" he asked. I hadn't truly realized how new my master was.

"There are races, but they are always run by the slaves. Sometimes masters will do cards or even coin tosses, but often times they test how well a master has trained their slave," I said, lowering my eyes. Collar was full of bad memories for me, many related to the gambling.

"Oh? How do they test this?"

"Sometimes..." I hesitated. Some of the tests were truly gruesome. "Sometimes they test how much control a master has over the slave by blindfolding the slave, gagging them, and covering their ears. Sometimes they tie them up and hang them, or force them to float in a deep pool. The slave who struggles last wins."

"How does that test the masters control?"

"The slave who struggles last is usually more afraid of punishment than of being injured by the contest. The idea is that if a slave thinks their master will let them off easy or hasn't been told what the master's limits are, he will begin to struggle as soon as he feels unsafe. A well controlled slave knows that he is better off being hurt by the game than displeasing his master."

"I see," master said, contemplating my words. "I would think trust would be more important in these games," he muttered offhandedly.

"Master?" I questioned. He turned to me and smiled.

"If I must enter you in on of these contests, I will need you to trust me. You know that I would never let you be injured, right? I protect what is mine, Heero," he told me, holding me in place with his eyes. I nodded. Master would protect me.

Suddenly, he sighed and lowered his head. "I suppose I'm a glutton for punishment, but that's not all, is it? Not that it's not more than enough, but there is more that you're not telling me. Come now, I must know everything."

"Yes, master, I'm sorry. There are more games."

"Tell me."

"Sometimes slaves are forced to fight. They are not supposed to fight to the death, but the loser usually dies of wounds once the battle is over. It is generally accepted that a slave must be very seriously injured for the fight to be considered good. Because of this, they usually match the battles unevenly when gambling, so that the slave training for Collar won't be injured. It... can be sickening. Many of the weaker slaves are starved for several days before the battle, and most have never been trained. Sometimes the weaker ones are given weapons to protect themselves while the stronger are unarmed... sometimes it is the opposite. It is... very bloody," I said, then stopped. I could still see the eyes of one such participant staring at me. I had, thankfully, never been put into a fight, but I had watched one. I had been so upset that I had hid my face in the draperies that surrounded my master's chair as the boy, only fifteen or so, had been brutally beaten by a slave of thirty and nearly three times his size. My master had thought me weak for the display and sold me soon after. I had never found what had become of that slave. I was almost certain he had died.

"Heero?" master called me, startling me from my memories.

"Yes?"

"Is there anything else?" he asked, and I could see that he would have let me go had I simply shaken my head, but I could not lie to my master. There was more that he needed to know.

"Sometimes slaves are forced to... copulate."

"You mean they must have sex?"

"Yes... and no. Slaves are regularly forced to have sex. These slaves... they rape each other. The object of the game is to top your opponent, the loser is forced to bottom. There are no weapons or toys involved, but... it can be worse than the battles. The slaves are humiliated, beaten, and raped. Many are killed by the brutal coupling, or by being shared afterward as a punishment," I paused again, but I was finally close to finished. Too bad the last part would be the hardest to verbalize. "The final part of the contest again tests the masters control and skills along with the slaves. It is very popular and one section of the Collar competition is sometimes based on this. In this contest the slave is blindfolded, gagged, and has his ears plugged. His hands are tied behind his back so he can't feel in front of him. From there his master guides him down an obstacle course very quickly. The slave who runs the course the fastest wins."

"How does the master guide the slave? They can't see or hear, so...?"

"Many master use... whips to guide their slaves. Others use sticks or blunt tipped arrows, and I've even heard of a few sharpshooters using rubber bullets, but whips are by far the most popular. The master hits the slave and tries to..."

"...Force them the way they should go. I see. Is that it, finally?"

"That's all I can think of. I'm certain there will be more to learn once you arrive, but masters are constantly coming up with new fads, so it's very hard to keep track of everything. I think I've told you enough to manage."

"Well, then, you've done such a good job that I'm going to reward you with a dip in the pool. Come on, angel!"


	14. Zechs 13

We compromised on the name. Heero, understandably, disliked the name Angel. He thought it sounded girly. I, on the other hand, had decided it fit him perfectly, and simply couldn't get it out of my head. Heero supplied the name Wing, which he liked and I didn't Eventually, I settled on Fallen Angel Wing, so that we could both have what we wanted and I wouldn't have to watch him pout. I registered it, so that Collar would know what to call him in the competition.

I was troubled by what Heero had told me of Collar, and yet I was glad he had done it. I didn't want to take him back into that situation, but, knowing that I had to, I was glad to be well prepared. Knowing this, on the day before we would depart for the Collar banquet, only five days after Heero had come into my life, I took him out back to face his greatest fear.

We had eaten a picnic lunch before hand and Heero was still curled up on the grass, naked except for his collar, when I came out of the house with my whip. I had brought it as a prop, for I had certainly never dreamed of using such a destructive weapon on a slave despite the problems he might cause. In my youth I had somewhat specialized in the whip along with swords, so I was well aware of the damage it could cause, unlike many amateurs using it for some quick fun. I knew that, wielded correctly, a whip could skin a man's back in seconds, or bite down to the bone in a heartbeat. I also knew how to control it, and I hoped that would be able to do so well enough to keep Heero safe.

There was an old fence post in the yard that I chose as my target. Its wood was starting to chip away, but it didn't really matter. I probably wouldn't need to use it again once I reacquainted myself with the weapon.

Heero gasped at the first sight of the whip and flinched, but didn't run. He was brave, as I was coming to learn, but he was still young and traumatized by what men had done to him in the past.

"Master?" he questioned piteously and I had the sudden urge to toss my whip back in the house. Instead, I merely smiled at him.

"You're not in trouble," I reassured and he relaxed somewhat, but not close to what he had been. I couldn't say I was surprised. The boy trusted me, but he wasn't stupid.

My first strike of the whip landed a little to the left of what I had planned, but only by an inch. Considering that my whip was almost eight feet long, an inch doesn't seem like much, but I was aware that an inch could make all the difference when it came to the human body.

It took me almost an hour of practice to feel that I was back up to my former skill and bring out my instincts for the whip. My skills had faded with time, but they returned to me easily enough. I made sure to keep my eyes off of Heero while I practiced, for I knew that he was flinching every time I struck the target. It made the next part of the practice even harder.

"Heero, I need you to get up now," I said, not looking at the boy. I could hear him hesitantly rise behind me and bit my lip. I had to force myself through this, for Heero's safety. "Go stand by the pole."

"Master?" he questioned fearfully. I hardened my tone, knowing that much more would break my resolve.

"Get up there, Heero. This isn't a choice. Go stand at the pole," I repeated again, my tone threatening. I doubted I had ever spoken so harshly to him, and I could see he was shaken as he approached the pole unsteadily, biting his lips.

"Master, please, I'm sorry," he muttered as a took my stance, "please, have mercy. I'm sorry," he continued, but didn't move. I was confused, he trusted me but he pleaded, he pleaded but he stayed. I had never punished him severely before, so I couldn't see him fearing me. On the other hand, I didn't really understand his pleas if he trusted me, either.

"Heero, do you trust me?" I asked as tears started to rain down his face. He nodded, closing his eyes in a quiet sob that shook his body. "Then I need you to take a deep breath and stop crying. There you go. Now again," I guided, not daring to reach for him because I knew I would not have the heart to force him through this. Slowly, he regained his composure by himself. "Now, I need you to stay very, very still, do you understand? If you move, you will be in a lot of trouble. Now, just hold still," I said, and took aim.

The whip struck just above his right should. Heero tensed, but didn't jump, which was good, because he probably would have gotten hit otherwise.

"Are you alright?" I asked, certain I had not hit him, but double checking anyway. He nodded, confusion entering his eyes, pushing aside some of the terror and tears. When I raised the whip again, however, the terror returned full force.

This time, I snapped the whip just over his left shoulder. I guessed that he could feel the wind from my blow, because he tensed, but managed to stay still. I had to force myself to trust Heero to remain still, for if he moved it could be very bad for him. The whip does not allow for pulling blows at the last second should Heero have stepped in harm's way.

I spent a few moments placing blows at various degrees of Heero's body, from the top of his head to as close as I could get to the ground, casting up a small spew of dirt and grass as the whip glanced by. Never once did I draw blood, but, then again, I wasn't expecting to. Had I done so, I probably would not have been able to trust myself with the weapon later on, so I was extra careful with my aim.

"I'm going to try something else now, Heero. I want you to hold out your arms and spread your legs," I told him calmly. A light sweat had broken out on the boy's body and he was shivering in fright. I knew that I was running low on time, that there was only so much Heero could take before he collapsed.

"Please, master, stop," he begged again, but did as I commanded. I answered by raising my whip again and letting it fly.

This time, instead of snapping the whip, I convinced it to circle around Heero's wrist, catching his arm. Again, there was no blood, but I knew there would be a slight red mark. It was a small price to pay, though, compared to the rest of the mission. I regretted not asking Heero to wear some clothes but, as it might have tipped him off, I decided it was probably better this way. It would be hard to miss blood or bruise on his pale white skin were the whip to accidentally hit him. He was safer without them.

With a flick of my wrist, I released Heero's hand and proceeded to attach the whip to the three remaining limbs at various points. I tried to get as close to his shoulder and as near to his ankle as I could. Once I was certain that I would be able to grasp Heero no matter what movement he was doing I decided to move to the final phase.

"Heero," I said, watching his quaking form. The tears had almost stopped, but he had turned a most ghastly shade of white and the shivers would not cease. "You're done very well so far, But I need you to do just one more thing for me. I want you to turn around..."

"No!" he gasped, fresh tears streaming down his face. "Master, please, no!" he begged. I could only glare at him in what I hoped was a threatening manner as I felt him tear my insides out. Slowly, his eyes lowered and he turned around, sobbing, shaking, his shoulders slumped in defeat. I raised the whip, knowing that I would only have one chance at this.

I snapped the whip and managed to just graze it along the cheeks of Heero's ass. Heero cried out, leaning forward to escape the blow, while his rigid discipline held him in place. I could see a convincingly red welt raise itself where the whip had struck his butt and hoped that it seemed more painful than it was. I had hoped that I could use the whip to inflict punishments that looked worse than they actually were, but from the way Heero's tightly tensed shoulders quaked with sobs it seemed as though it felt worse than it looked.

Quickly, I wrapped up the whip and laid it on the ground, then gently took Heero into my arms. He came willingly, despite what I had just done to him.

"Shh," I soothed, "It's all over. You did very well. I'm proud of you," I told him, rocking my softly where we stood as he sobbed harshly into my chest. "I didn't hurt you, did I?" I asked. Heero shook his head and cried harder.

I soon realized that this was not going to be a short bout of crying, so I quietly led Heero into the house and sat him down on the couch where I soothed him until he fell asleep, resting across my thighs.

When he woke up, hours later, I was still sitting there beside him, though my legs had gone to sleep. For a while he simply lay there, allowing me to stroke his hair and, I hope, enjoying the sensation of my fingers across his scalp.

"I know you don't understand a lot about me," I told him, my voice rumbling through the quiet room, "and I can't tell you much. I just want you to understand that I will not hurt you for no reason, and I will try to spare you as much pain as possible. I wish I could tell you, but you..."

"...just have to trust you. Yeah, I know," he sighed. "It's alright. I don't understand many of my masters. At least with you I know why I don't understand you."

"I'm glad you're okay with this. I promise, one day you will understand everything. It just might not be soon."

"I'm glad," he replied, "I'd rather never understand than have to leave you."

"It won't come to that," I answered, "I won't leave you."

"There are plenty of slaves better than me..." he defended.

"There are, and I might get some, but that doesn't mean I have to leave you. I want you here with me, not them. So there, that's final," I told him, in a mock masterly voice. He smiled.

"Thank you, master."


	15. Zechs 14

Heero informed me early the next morning that slaves were usually partially or completely drugged for any kind of traveling. I had pelted him with questions for most of the morning and growled with frustration when he told me this. I regretted it when Heero flinched and dropped his eyes to the floor. I was annoyed, but not angry, so I rapped my knuckles against his head in punishment and stormed to the phone to call Sally.

As it turned out, Sally had been expecting something like this. I suppose it would be natural for men who routinely beat and demean their slaves to expect them to try to flea, but I had no fears whatsoever that Heero would try to run away. Honestly, I wasn't sure he'd want to let go of my hand while we boarded the plane. Something told me that, as skittish as he had been when I brought him home, he probably wouldn't do so well around large crowds.

Sally already had the pills set aside for just such an occasion, and was able to send them over quickly when I called her. I had taken a few courses in medicine and field aide in the past, and Une had asked a few of her agents in the crime labs to give me a lesson in narcotics, along with several briefings from Sally. All in all, I was able to tell the type, effects, potency, and dosage required of almost any drug, legal or not. I knew the drug Sally had prescribed for Heero was pretty mild. I probably could have gotten the same effect by giving him a triple dose of Niquil. He would be sleepy, disoriented, and pain free for the duration of the ride, but he would probably be back to normal by the next morning, if not sooner.

Heero actually seemed relieved that he was to be drugged for the plane ride when I informed him later that night. I wondered why.

"I... do not do well around large groups of people. I cannot tell where an attack my come from, and I attempt to find cover."

"The drugs make it better?" I asked while I packed the few things I would take out of this house for the trip. I had grown accustomed to the relaxed, civilian clothing I had been wearing, but I knew that I would have to be in something more fancy for the party. I had asked that my suits be sent ahead, so that they would be there when I arrived. I was pretty much taking my toothbrush, hairbrush, and underwear from the house.

"Not really," he replied, "but there is less I can do about it. I'm still afraid, but I'm too confused to be aware of what I'm afraid of. There are so many faces, but I can't seem to connect them to bodies, and I know the threat is in the body, not the face. I was usually too weak to run or make much noise, and I was always too afraid of my master to say anything. Punishment is much worse when I am drugged, because there is nothing I can do to limit the damage done to my body. When I am drugged, I cannot even turn away from the pain..."

I paused in my packing and went to Heero, whose eyes had gone haunted and far away. Gently I cupped his face, bringing him back to me.

"I won't allow you to be hurt while we're on this flight. I will protect you, so you don't need to be afraid. You will be tired and disoriented, but you will not be so confused that you don't know what's going on. If you need anything, I'll be right with you the whole time, alright?" I asked, knowing he would nod despite the fact that it was most certainly not alright. I knew that Heero was frightened, but I could only try to lessen his fright, I could not spare him from it.

"I trust you, master," he told me.

"I know you do. I won't let you down," I told him, then straightened up. If we didn't get ready soon, we'd miss our flight. "I've had clothes made for you so that you can walk through the terminal. They're on the kitchen counter, run and put them on while I finish up here."

Heero obeyed me immediately and I took the time while he was gone to pack the other collars and ready myself for this expedition. I would have to be calm and strong for Heero to come through this unscathed. Heero needed support, and I intended to give it to him.

We left the house at about two that evening. Our flight was scheduled to leave at four, but I wanted to have plenty of time to board the shuttle and get Heero situated. Heero had pretty much told me he had something of a phobia of crowds, along with his unusual behavior with Sally, I wanted to have a lot of spare time just in case something should go wrong. If Heero did panic, I might need half an hour or more to talk him down.

Before we left the house, I made sure to put Heero's prescription in my pocket in case he needed another dose while we were in the flight, then handed him two of the small white capsules. Heero stared at them warily.

"They're just to relax your nerves, angel," I soothed. He shot me a questioning look, but nodded.

"I'd rather be drugged than panic in public. It would be very bad," he said, then swallowed the pills dry.

"Is there anything else that would make you more comfortable?" I asked, but he shook his head.

"As long as you're with me, I should be alright. And..." he trailed off.

"And what?" I asked. Heero blushed and shook his head.

"It's nothing."

"Enough now," I told him, getting mildly impatient, "What were you going to say?"

"It's just," Heero said, looking nervous, "drugs always make me... cold."

"Ah," I replied, looking over his faded blue jeans and long sleeved green top. Not the colors I would have chosen for him, but the did manage to hide his beauty and made him seem almost normal. "It's too warm for a sweater, but I'm sure we can find a blanket on the shuttle. I'll even order you some tea when we get there, as long as you behave."

Heero smiled and nodded, looking somewhat less frightened than he had been before. In a moment, I led him out the door and into the awaiting car.

I was unsurprised to see Heero fall asleep not long after we entered the car. This time, unlike the last time, Heero had no qualms about sitting on the seat with me, and when he fell into my lap when he finally submitted to the slumber the pills were dragging him toward. I smiled tenderly as he began to snore softly. Such a sweetheart.

I woke Heero as we were entering the parking lot, which gave him plenty of time to wake up, as we had to drive around for several minutes to find the right entrance. Heero was groggy, but his anxiousness was almost completely gone.

"Are you feeling alright?" I asked, "No nausea?" I questioned. I had been sure to give Heero breakfast not long before he took the pills, but I couldn't guarantee that the ride wouldn't upset his stomach.

Heero merely shook his head. "No, mas-..." he stopped himself, looking suddenly awake and afraid at his almost slip. "I'm sorry!" he gasped. I shushed him.

"It's not you're fault, it's the pills. I should have known. Do you think, instead of calling me master, you could call me mister? It's a little strange, but certainly not as bad as master. What do you think?"

"Mister," Heero tired, frowning as he concentrated. "Mister. This is my mister. I have to pee, mister," he said, still frowning in concentration. I laughed, but stopped when I saw Heero's serious and somewhat hurt glare.

"Oh," I said as I suddenly stopped laughing. "You're serious." Heero glared harder and nodded. "Alright, then, let's go find a restroom."

We made an expedient journey from the car to the airport terminal, where I waited outside as Heero hurried to use the facilities. Heero came out a short time later looking shaken and immediately came to my side.

"Is something wrong?" I questioned.

"No," he replied, shaking his head, "I just don't want to be alone."

Though he had been far from along, I understood his meaning, and made a note to be careful not to leave him while he was drugged. We carried only three light bags with us as I had, as I mentioned, sent most of our things ahead the day before. Two of the bags I checked and the third would stay with me on the flight, as it contained my important paperwork, like Heero's papers our passports, and my admittance to Collar. It also contained some of my credit cards and spare cash, but when one is a prince those item are slightly more expendable. Still, I kept a close eye on the bag.

I kept a closer eye on Heero. Once we were away from the bathroom, Heero calmed somewhat, but would still show flashes of fear when some unsuspecting bystander strayed too close. I kept him near me and soothed him quietly whenever he seemed too edgy, but all in all the medicine kept him very calm, if somewhat sleepy.

With everything going so well, I decided to reward Heero by taking him to a small pastry shop we had passed when entering. The inside of the shop was filled with hundreds of gooey, sticky sweets and smelled of doughnuts and coffee.

"Ma-ister?" Heero said, stumbling with the word. I chuckled.

"Yes, Heero?"

"Wha-... What are we doing here?" he questioned.

"I thought you might like snack and to sit down for a while. Does that sound good?"

Heero had to contemplate it more than usual, but eventually nodded. I laughed again at his serious consideration of so simple a question.

"What would you like then?" I asked as we moved forward. Heero considered the glass case in front of him as we waited in line, allowing his eyes to glance over all the sugar-loaded confections.

"What about that?" he asked, pointing to a tray of bagels.

"A bagel? You can have anything you want, you know. Are you certain you don't want something sweeter?"

"No," Heero said, shaking his head, "It all looks so syrupy and messy. I think..." he trailed, frowning as he tried to concentrate, "I think it might do something bad to my stomach. Like, when we fly. Can't I please have one of those?" he asked again, looking at me pleadingly.

"Of course. What kind would you like, strawberry, blueberry, cinnamon, or plain?"

"Mm..." he hesitated, deciding, "I like blueberries..."

"Then blueberry it is," I told him, and stepped forward to make my purchases. I ended up getting a bear claw, which I had been yearning for all morning, and a coffee while I ordered Heero his blueberry bagel and a green tea, remembering his comment about getting cold.

We sat down at a small table toward the back to enjoy our snack. Alone with the bagel, I had also gotten Heero some cream cheese in both plain and blueberry and some blueberry jam, as I didn't know what he liked on his bagels. Heero experimented with the different toppings while I nibbled at my treat and sipped my coffee. He seemed to thoroughly enjoy the pastry and I was content to watch him eat even after I had finished my own.

By the time we left the cafe we were able to board our flight and headed to our terminal. Heero seemed even less anxious than before, contented with his full belly. Heero became nervous again as we passed through security and had to separate from me at the metal detector. He got through without any problems, but gave several fearful looks at the large guard standing near him on the other side. The guard noticed and looked suspiciously at Heero, which didn't help matters. I hurried through the checkpoint and took Heero by the arm.

"It's my cousin's first flight," I told the guard, lying easily. "He's a little nervous, as you can see," I told him. The guard smiled at us and nodded. Heero, for his part, nearly hid behind me, glueing himself to my side.

I collected my bag and pulled Heero along as he trailed me, his nervousness quickly fading again. I wondered how bad this would have been without the drugs, if he was so jumpy with them.

We handed out tickets to an attendant who quickly stamped them, handed them back, and wished us a good flight. I smiled at her and waved goodbye, but was in too much of a hurry to get Heero settled to wait for anything else.

I was glad that I had gotten us on a first-class shuttle, because I knew Heero would be uncomfortable with someone sitting next to him. I guided Heero to slip into the row first so that he would be trapped between me and the window. Hopefully it would keep him from being too aware of the other passengers.

There were two seats in every row, giving Heero and I the slight feeling of privacy. The seats were large, soft, and could recline almost the whole way back without invading another person's space. I was fairly certain that Heero would fall asleep within an hour of takeoff, and I would bet on less. I noticed two pairs of headphones attached to the wall and noted that they might be useful later, to keep Heero occupied were he to wake up.

Of course, I knew that Heero wouldn't sleep for the whole flight, as it would last almost a full twenty-four hours. I hoped, however, that he would sleep for a good part of takeoff. Once in space, we could move around the ship, and had a sort of cabin that we could use. It would be private, away from the rest of the passengers and crew. I knew that was most important to Heero.

An announcement came over the speakers telling us to fasten our seatbelts and that the flight would be taking off in a few minutes. I fastened my own seatbelt and, seeing Heero struggling with his, leaned over and fastened the other seatbelt. A stewardess came around to make sure everyone was fastened in, but I barely noticed her as I watched Heero for signs of nervousness. He seemed to be floating at the moment, his blank expression telling me than he wasn't aware of what was happening.

That all changed when the flight began to move and prepared to launch. Heero gasped and looked at me with frightened eyes.

"We're taking off?" he asked me timidly.

"Not yet, but soon," I told him. He sniffled and leaned on me, burying his face in my shoulder.

"I don' wanna," he protested pleadingly, "I'm scared."

"It's alright," I soothed, "I'll be right here the whole time." Heero shook his head, though more in protest than that he didn't believe me, and fisted my shirt in his hands. He was starting to shake so, as the stewardess came around one last time I asked for the blanket I had promised Heero. It was a heavy wool blanket and Heero hid himself inside it, both for warmth and protection.

The engines started then and there was no time for anything else. Heero gave a whimper of fright and gripped me more tightly, but seemed more fearful than panicky. I soothed him with quiet words as the flight began to move and finally launched.

The launch went more quickly than I had expected and we were soon out of the atmosphere, but it would be another hour before it was deemed safe enough for us to go to our cabins. Heero stayed plastered to my side the whole time and soon fell into a drugged sleep. I was glad to feel his body go limp, sparing him from any more fear. I sighed to myself and rubbed his back. Collar was looking more and more unappealing.


	16. Heero 15

I had anticipated the flight to Collar with the same amount of dread a man feels when walking to the noose. I knew that my irrational fear of crowds had developed into something of a phobia over the years, but I was too embarrassed to tell my new master about it. Even when he asked me about it, I was so ashamed that I hadn't told him sooner that I almost couldn't bring myself to speak to him about it.

Master handled it with his usual grace, meaning he huffed and puffed but eventually just fixed it and moved on. A single call to his doctor found master with a pocket full of light tranquilizers and me watching the pretty birdies. Despite, or possibly because, I had never been given such light drugs before, I had never been so out of it. I wondered briefly if the reason was that my first master had made my body resistant to many kinds of heavy drugs, but hadn't attempted to shield me from lighter drugs. Because of this, I was fairly unaffected by all but the very strongest of drugs, yet I was easily swayed by light and over-the-counter medicines.

I don't remember much of the trip. I know I fell asleep in the car, only to wake up to my master and my bladder. I remember going to the restroom, then nearly panicking when I realized I had left my master. I remember stopping in the sweet shop, but not much of the walk to the shuttle. I remember take-off excruciatingly clearly, but I fell asleep thankfully soon after.

"Heero," I heard master whisper in my ear, "wake up now."

I opened my eyes and blinked, trying to clear my blurry vision. It was more difficult than I had anticipated, and I brought my hand up to rub at them, but I still couldn't seem to get them clear.

"Stop that now," master ordered, taking my hand away from my face. "Come on, we've only got a little way to go, then you can go back to sleep," master told me, and pulled me to my feet. My seatbelt had been undone, but I couldn't remember when. I clutched my blanket in my hand as master led me down the aisle.

I had a blurry period then where I clutched my blanket and master's hand because I couldn't seem to focus on anything around me and I was worried that I'd be left behind. I think, had we not gotten to the room so quickly, I would have begun to cry. Perhaps I did, but if so, I'm glad I don't remember. Crying in front of master is one thing, but allowing strangers to see me so weak is quite another. I don't think I could have withstood the humiliation.

It was a blissfully short amount of time before I heard the sound of a door shutting and looked around to find myself in a small room. Master finished closing the door and was quick to my side, pushing me to the bed and pulling off my shoes. I struggled a bit, more from confusion than anything, but it wasn't enough to dissuade master. Once my shoes were off he quickly pushed my to lie back on the bed and pulled the covers around me.

"Go back to sleep," he told me. "I'll wake you for dinner."

I didn't want to obey him, but my mind and my body had two very different ideas of what I should do. Unfortunately, my body won out, and I was asleep again before master had turned around.

"Wake up. Angel, come on, dinner's here," master called. I opened my eyes and sat up. Master was sitting next to me on the bed, a covered tray next to him on the dresser. "Go wash you face," he commanded, "it'll wake you enough that you don't forget to swallow and choke."

I stood, wobbled a bit, then walked forward the four steps it took to get to the closet-sized compartment that was the bathroom. I splashed some cold water on my face, dried it with a towel, then stumbled out of the bathroom and more or less fell back onto the bed. Master had, by that time, uncovered the tray and we began to eat, but I was so out of it that I never even noticed what I was eating. I think I might have fallen asleep on the tray.

The next time I awoke, master was typing on a laptop at the desk on the other side of the room. I felt fully awake for the first time during the trip and sat up, making some noise to let master know I was awake.

"Ah, Heero," he said, turning in his chair, "I'm glad you're awake. You missed breakfast, but I thought I had better let you get all the drug out of your system. It's almost lunch, if you're hungry we can go get something to ea," he told me. I shook my head. I was feeling somewhat queasy.

"No? Feeling a little nauseous? Alright, then, but you'll have to eat once we get to Collar," he said, then went back to his typing. I spent a few minutes listening to the steady rhythm of the keys before the suddenly faltered. I glanced over to se that master had stilled, his hands poised above the keys.

"I meant to tell you," he told me, his voice so serious that it frightened me. "I'd been thinking while you were asleep and there's something I think we need to discuss."

His words were like ice in my veins. What had I done wrong? Was I to be sold? The last time master had been so serious was when he had played with his whip, and even his words were not so weighted. It could be nothing short of a sale. No, please, I don't want to go...

"It's about your behavior earlier," he said. I must have done something wrong while I was drugged and couldn't remember. It certainly must have made master terribly angry, but I couldn't remember it. "I'm aware that you were under the influence of drugs, which is why I'm saying this," he told me, still not turning around. Perhaps he would simply punish me? If I begged? Said I was sorry? No, he wouldn't forgive me, and he wouldn't want to wait until we got to Collar to punish me. A slave too stupid to keep his head with mild drugs, too broken to be around people. Worthless. He was right to get rid of me.

"Heero?" master called, and I looked up to find him right in front of me, his beautiful blue eyes staring into my tarnished gray ones. I would never be worthy of him. I would never be worthy of anyone.

"Please, forgive me, master, I..."

"Shh," he soothed, taking my face in his hands as two tears spilled from my eyes, "You're not in trouble," he said, kissing my forehead and pulling me against his chest.

"Then... what... why...?" I wondered, too emotional to get the words out.

"I wanted to tell you that you can't have any more drugs when we get of the shuttle," he said, his tone serious, as though I would argue, "I know you're afraid of these crowds, but I need you all here and lucid to guide me to Collar."

"But..." I hesitated, still afraid of angering master, "there won't be a crowd when we get off."

"What do you mean?" master asked, looking confused, "The rest of the passengers aren't just going to stay on here."

"No, but we are," I told him, my anxiousness fading as I came to understand our misunderstanding. "Didn't anyone tell you?"

"Tell me what?"

"This shuttle goes from earth to L1, but it makes a fuel stop at a private satellite on the return trip. We are supposed to stay on the ship at L1 and get off at the satellite. If you show the stewardess my papers or your seal they'll give you persmission to stay," I told him. His body relaxed with relief.

"What would I ever do without you?" master asked and I couldn't help but smile and blush.

"I'm nothing special."

"You are special, and silly too," master teased, "Now, go get a shower and let me get some work done."


	17. Zechs 16

Collar turned out to be horrific, but not quite as horrific as I had previously envisioned.

Let me explain. When we had entered our ship, everyone of the passengers were normal people, but by the time we left the ship many of them had transformed into slaves, and a few had suddenly become masters. It was apparent who was the master and who was the slave because slaves were dressed in often skimpy, suggestive outfits, while the masters usually donned more modest, serious outfits. I say usually because Heero informed me that there was no dress code for masters or slaves, and some masters covered their slaves from head to toe, while others made them walk around completely naked. It was the same for masters, although they almost always wore something to cover themselves, even if it was only one distinctive part of themselves.

I realized upon seeing this that I hadn't really thought about Heero's wardrobe. Heero had always been naked at home and didn't seem to have a problem with this, so I hadn't really been aware of the need for more modest apparel. I was swiftly brought to my senses upon our arrival, but Heero told me that it was fine, that many masters waited to buy their slaves clothes until Collar, because there was such a wide selection and such care taken in the making and style.

Being told this, I quickly ushered us to our room, which was amazing to say the least. It was more like an apartment than a hotel room. First of all, there was the bedroom, which was actually the largest room. Inside the bedroom there was a raised platform covered in a mattress, which was supposed to be the bed, though it could have easily fit eight or nine people. There was a large closet and an adjoining bathroom housing a whirlpool bath and shower. Compared to the bedroom, the livingroom was only half as big and had only a couch, TV, and small end table. The kitchen was small but neat and well supplied, though I don't think the owner of the hotel believed anyone would have time to use the kitchen. There was also a servant's quarters and bathroom, which was much closer to what one would find at a cheap motel. There were two single beds in the servant's bedroom, but Heero told me masters would sometimes sleep up to six slaves in that one tiny room. I certainly wouldn't allow that.

Once the bags were settled Heero led me out of the hotel and into what seemed to be a giant mall. It was there that I finally began to see what Collar was really like.

It was strange, honestly. I could see so many slaves, collared and used, smiling, happy, and laughing. Despite the evidence Heero bore to the contrary, it looked like many of the masters took good care of their slaves, physically if not emotionally. Most of them were in expensive outfits, wearing expensive jewelry. One master would walk by with three or four slaves on his arms, looking more like a celebrity than a slave owner. There were few that bore scars, and even then most looked more like accidental scars than purposeful abuse.

There were a few cases to the contrary. I dark haired boy who walked a few paces behind his master, his head hung, his feat dragging. Another boy in nothing but a thong flinching as his master grabbed playfully at him. And yet, these instances seemed to be the exception, not the rule.

"A lot of them pretend to be happy," Heero told me as he saw me looking around, "A master wants a happy slave, not a moody one. Most of them make their master feel like a rock star, so he treats them like his bitches. And, a lot of masters take special care not to mark their slaves. A slave with a scar instantly loses value. It's like trying to sell a used car. It sells better if it looks like it hasn't been run a whole lot, or that the owner put some work into them. My masters didn't think they could make me look like new, so it didn't matter how hard they ran me. Most masters aren't like that, but some are," Heero told me, his head down. "I'm sorry that I can't be like that for you. I know I can make it up to you if you enter me in Collar. Slaves that place in Collar are worth more than the prettiest slave. I can..."

"Enough, Angel," I quieted, "You're more than enough," I soothed. Heero had gotten it into his head that he wasn't worthy of me, and I wasn't sure how to stop it. Wasn't sure that I could and still keep him my slave.

Heero led me to one of the many clothing shops that tailored to slaves. It... was not the simple matter I had thought it to be. In the beginning, I had decided to simply let Heero choose his own outfit. I had thought, naively, that he would look wonderful in anything and I had wanted him to be comfortable in what he was wearing. I changed my mind, however, when he came out in a green tank-top, black biking shorts, and a hideous pair of yellow boots. I know I sighed and rubbed my head as I put a hand on Heero's shoulder and pushed him back into the stall. My slave was beautiful, but even his beauty couldn't stand up to those clothes.

The first outfit I chose was mainly to shied Heero's back, as he was very conscious of is scars. I had decided early on that he would not be wearing anything without a back, so I had already slightly limited my choices. The first outfit that caught my eyes was, I must admit, a bit... frivolous.

The outfit itself was fairly simple. It was an old style, almost Victorian piece, which I thought would go along nicely with my formal prince clothes. It started with small, low-cut boots which were folded over and accentuated his small ankles, along with leggings, and the puffy, knee-length, black trousers that I thought were just adorable on him. His top was white, long sleeved, and buttoned up. It had frills down the front and the first three buttons were left undone, exposing just enough of his chest to be alluring. The sleeves frilled out at the bottom and covered his hand completely. A dark red cape finished the outfit as it hung over his shoulders like a backdrop, making him look even smaller. He looked like a young prince or duke.

The second outfit was a bit more traditional, if one can say that. It was a leather jacket covering his shoulders and left open in the front, a tiny pair of leather shorts, and long leather boots to keep the amount of skin shown to a limit. It also came with a leather cap and some studded leather bracelets. It made Heero look like jail-bait, but he said it wasn't the worst costume he had worn, so I took that as approval.

The third outfit I chose was a harem outfit. It was sky blue, like his eyes. It was made of a see-through gauze which allowed one to see most of his arms and chest, along with his legs and lower thighs. The shirt and pants overlapped from just bellow his navel to his upper thighs, so that everything between was hidden from sight.

"How many outfits do you think we should get?" I asked as Heero came out of the dressing room to model the third outfit. Honestly, I was a little anxious to get back to the room. Seeing Heero in all those outfits was just too tempting, and I could tell from the way the gauzy material tented around his groin that Heero was ready too.

"Slaves usually get seven to ten outfits," said a perky, feminine voice behind me, "so that they have enough outfits for the banquet and some to wear to the actual contest."

I whiled around to see a woman about my age dressed in a snappy suit standing behind me. He name tag pronounced that she was Silver, and her hair attested this fact. Still, she smiled warmly at me and continued to speak.

"Hi, my name's Silver. Is there anything I can help you with?" she asked.

"Well, I was trying to get my slave some clothes, but it seems that I'm going to be here all night trying to put outfits together by myself."

"Well, we have a whole store of clothes and I'm sure I can help you find something you're looking for. What's his name?"

"Angel," I told her, shortening Heero's Collar name.

"Ooh!" she squealed, pulling a nervous looking Heero forward, "You simply must put him in our angel costume! He would look just too good!"

"Well, alright, but I don't want anything too indecent," I told her, pointing to Heero's body, "I want him covered from here to here, and at least from here to here."

"Hmm, that narrows it down a little, but a lot of masters are possessive about their slaves. What about from here to here?"

"Yes, that will be fine."

"Oh, we could do a corset. Or something with a cinch here."

"No, I need him to breath. What about straps, or lace?"

"Oh yes, lace would be lovely on him. And gloves. Shoes?"

"No heels."

"But boots. Or slippers."

"Yes, that's good."

"How about this?"

"No, that fabric's wrong. What about this?"

"It's too heavy, he'd sweat like a pig. This?"

"Too light, he'd tear right through it."

"Ah, what about this one?"

"Perfect!"

"Well, I think I can get something for him to try on now. Is there anything else?"

I looked at Heero, who was looking flustered and overwhelmed. I couldn't blame him, we had used him as something of a human mannequin.

"Angel, is there anything you want?" I asked. I had wanted to give him some input into his clothes, but it looked like Miss Silver and I had gotten a bit carried away.

"Uh..." he replied, still dazed, "I would like my weewee covered, please."


	18. Zechs 17

Once our shopping trip was over and, unfortunately, the mood lost, I took Heero back to the room and ordered a delightful Italian dinner for us. Heero ate with gusto, as his meals had come sporadically the last two days. I was glad that he had made a full recover, as I worried about lingering side-effects of the drugs he had been given. But Heero was a strong boy and seemed more than capable of miraculous recoveries.

Once finished with dinner, I persuaded Heero to show me where the gym was. After we had both donned more casual gym-wear, as I had been wearing my military uniform and Heero had been in one of his numerous costumes, Heero led me down the hall to the elevator. Floor sixteen, it seemed was dedicated solely to physical exertion, as the entire level was one big gym including a health spa and pool. I was impressed, but also somewhat concerned. Heero had a tendency to overexert himself with our limited equipment at home, I wasn't sure what he'd do with all these machines.

I also learned that, while there was no rule to say that a master couldn't come to the gym, most did not. I was somewhat disappointed, as I had enjoyed training with Heero before, but seeing the need to keep a low profile forced my decision to let Heero have his privacy. I did, however, have a stern talk with Heero about pushing himself too hard. I made it clear to him that, while I understood the need to get stronger, if he damaged his body by pushing it past its limits he would be in very serious trouble. I also talked to the trainers on hand about Heero's tendency, telling them that while I didn't think he'd be a problem, if he did push himself too hard I was to be contacted immediately, no matter what. With that, I waved goodbye to Heero and went back to the room.

The room seemed empty without Heero, but I was glad to have some privacy to finish the report I had started on the shuttle. If things went well, I probably would not be alone very often, so it was important that I finished telling Lady Une of my findings. Time flew as I tapped away at the keyboard and by the time I had sent the message Heero was just walking in the door. With all the stress he had been under earlier and his tendency to overwork himself, he was barely on his feet. I helped him into the shower then pushed him under the covers, swiftly climbing in beside him. We were both exhausted and soon asleep.

The next morning, I drilled Heero about etiquette and who's who in Collar. I didn't want a small blunder to blow my cover. I also needed to get to know the other masters, to scope out the competition, so to speak.

"The best place to meet people would be at parties. All the masters who have been here a while hold open parties to get to know the newer masters on the first day. After that, parties are invite only."

"So this whole first week is just to get drunk and have a good time?"

"Not at all. The parties are loosely veiled meetings to research the competetors. Two masters competing in the same field will spend a lot of time together, trying to see the other's weaknesses and flaws. Being new, it won't be strange for you to attend a lot of different parties, because you're not considered a threat in your first year."

"We'll see about that," I responded with a grin.

"I think I've mentioned it before, but this is also where a lot of the slave trading goes on. Masters bet to try to win better slaves, but the really good ones won't be on the market."

"So you mean that this is the middle ground for buying, right?"

"Yes. These slaves are good enough to be owned but not good enough to keep. The good slaves are often sold, and they bring in a pretty penny."

"I see. But you weren't considered a good slave, and you've done wonderfully."

"Yes, but... my circumstances were strange. You won't often find a slave in my predicament."

"You're one in a million," I told him.

"Six thousand, actually."

"Huh?"

"There are six thousand slaves in the Collar organization, along with four hundred masters."

"But that would mean every master would own hundreds of slaves!"

"No, several thousand are owned by The Owner. The one who runs Collar. Masters are limited to fifty slaves, but most don't want the problems that arise from having that many. Twenty is a pretty average count."

"Ah. I see. Is there anything else I should know?"

"One the last day here, the warehouses bring out the unowned slaves and sell them. They are... the bottom of the barrel, as they say. It's all the slaves that are barely worth paying money to own. When a master buys one, he usually plans to keep it drugged until it dies or kill it. You probably won't want to get a slave from there."

"But that's where you came from, isn't it?"

"Yes, but..."

"Why don't we decide later. Right now, we should be getting ready for the parties, right?"

"We have plenty of time. The parties won't really start until noon. It would give the wrong impression if you went out to early."

"What would I do without you?" I asked, beaming. Heero blushed demurely.

"You don't need me," he said quietly.

"Actually," I countered, "I think I need you very much right now. Seeing you try on all those costumes last night really stirred me up, so perhaps you could finish the job," I suggested, tugging Heero toward the bedroom.

We were actually late to the parties, but I couldn't say I regretted it.


	19. Heero 18

If I had expected master to be different once we arrived at Collar, I would have been disappointed. He was still his same, overbearing, affectionate, somewhat mothering master that I had come to know in the past week. He still watched over me as though I would break. He still made sure I had everything I could possibly need. He still hovered as though my health was in danger. He still tried to let me have input into his decisions. But, most of all, he still cared for me.

I had been afraid that master would see how well groomed and lovely the rest of the slaves were and reconsider his ideas about me, but I was very wrong. While I did catch my master looking at some of the other slaves, he never once seemed to consider trading me for one, nor did he shown any interest in making me look like them. While he did take control after my first fashion blunder, he seemed more concerned that I was stylish and comfortable than in the most trendy outfits. Even after he found my lack of taste, he still tried to allow me some say in my clothing, though to be honest I was too overwhelmed to ask for more than my modesty to be covered, which I did with some rather embarrassing wording.

Even when I went to train at the gym, master still hovered like he always did, giving me a stern warning about overdoing it. I know he also said something to the trainers, but I was unable to overhear the conversation. Then he left.

Once master was gone, I ended up falling back into the rhythm I had used with my first master and forgot what master Zechs had told me. I didn't quite pass my limits, but I was very close. I felt bad when I returned to the room and master had to help me into the shower, then I fell into an exhausted sleep as soon as I hit the bed. It made me feel worse that master didn't say anything, simply helped me shower then put me to bed. He deserved better than what I could give him.

The next morning, we spoke at breakfast about the parties at Collar. I was in no rush to attend any, but I knew that master would need to if he intended to get more slaves. Once I told master that we would not need to rush, he initiated a bout of sex. I was eager to participate, both because I wanted to make up to my master for last night and because I wanted it for myself. My master was beautiful, and I had no qualms about lusting after him.

We had to rush to get ready for the parties after that, as we had taken too long with our fun. Master dressed in one of his military, princely outfits that made him look refined, masculine, and commanding all at the same time. He did not look like the kind of person anyone would disobey.

Master allowed me to choose my own clothes as he went to brush his hair, and I decided against the Victorian outfit. I decided that it simply wasn't sexual enough, and my master would come off looking overly possessive. Instead, I opted for the harem outfit, which showed enough skin, but not too much.

It was strange to go to the parties with my master. On the one hand, he was still controlling and caring, as he had always been, but on the other I had to be careful to guide him and make sure he wasn't led astray by some other masters trying to do him harm. To do this, I had to remain almost constantly by his side, always aware and alert of what others were saying and doing. Despite my skills as an assassin, it was quite trying. I almost thought I wouldn't manage.

Luckily, the opening parties were always very sedate to allow new masters to get the feel of things. It was mainly just appetizers and beverages while masters chatted and showed off their slaves, most of whom preened under the attention. I must admit, I preened a bit myself, but a I was also rather shy. I liked that master Zechs wanted to show me off, but, at the same time, I didn't really want to be shown off to these people. They still made me nervous and uncomfortable.

Master had gained his balance by the end of the night and had managed to make an impression on several other masters. One of the masters had noticed master Zechs had the bearing and accent of nobility and questioned into master's affairs. Master had quietly refused to comment, but the interest sparked in master Marcel's eyes hinted that we would soon be invited to some of his parties. He had also struck a cord with Master Scrub, an older master with something of a germophobic nature. My master's clean pressed dress had impressed him, along with the care he took in his hair, and master Scrub had mentioned a party he planned to have in two days. Another master named Zephyr had caught master stroking my hair and giving me an affectionate look. When master kissed the top of my head, thinking no one was looking at us as we walked out the doorway, master Zephyr had sent his slave, for he had only one, to invite us to tea. He said that we should feel free to stop by any time, but manners dictated that master would send a message first, to alert our host. I wasn't certain of master Zephyr's motives, but master Zechs accepted immediately, so there was no way around meeting him. I only hoped he didn't criticize my master for being too affectionate.

"How do you think we did, master?" I asked as we readied for bed that night.

"Oh, extremely well. You were amazing, Heero. If it hadn't been for you I probably would have agreed to go to the knife man's party," he said with a shudder. There was a master named Blade at the party who had a particular interest in long hair and knives. Unfortunately, he tended to use the knife to take the hair, then rape the victim and keep the hair as a trophy. As a master, master Zechs probably would have been safe, but master Blade was extemely volatile, and it was not worth taking the risk. He was not well liked, as well, and would have done more damage than good to my master's reputation.

"Not all master are as kind as you are," I told him. I knew he would take it as a compliment, but in truth I meant it as more of a fact. I had known many masters who had not been kind at all, so I relished master Zechs' kindness.

"Flatterer. One thing did bother me, though," he said, as he climbed into bed and pulled me down beside him. "Why weren't there any girls at this party? I mean, not everyone is gay."

"Collar was originally created by a male for other homosexual males. In the beginning, females were not allowed to be a part of Collar. The Owner did not want unwanted pregnancies, as he, for some reason, did not believe that anyone should be born into this. As it is, one must be at least thirteen years of age to become a slave."

"You said originally. Is it different now?"

"A little. The ban on female masters and slaves has been lifted as technology in contraceptives advanced. You should know, all slaves are sterile, along with being free of diseases."

"I suppose I can understand that, but then why haven't I seen any girls?"

"Male and female slaves are kept in separate parts of Collar and compete in different competitions. There are very few female masters with male slaves, though there are quite a few male masters with female slaves. Since you requested a male slave it as automatically assumed that you would enjoy other males. If this is incorrect..."

Master laughed, deep and loud, but I wasn't certain what was so funny. If master decided he liked girls better than me...

"Don't worry yourself about that, angel. I'm completely gay, and have been for a long time."

"Oh," I said, honestly terribly relieved.

"You need to stop worry so much that you'll lose me," master said softly, seeing through my mask. Quietly, he shifted me closer and I buried my face in his shoulder. I trusted him, but somehow the fear just wouldn't fade. We were quiet for a long time.

"You said the youngest slaves are thirteen," master commented as the silence dragged on, "What about before that?" he asked.

"What do you want to know?"

"Everything? Who raised you? What happened to your parents? How did you get here?"

"I've been an orphan as long as I can remember," I told him. I think he anticipated this to be painful for me, but it really wasn't. I had already lived it once, what more could it do? "I was raised by an assassin named Odin. He started my training, hoping more for a successor than a son, I think. When I was nine, he was killed on a hit. When I returned to get the money for the hit, the scientist who hired us offered to take me in. I didn't have anywhere else to be, so I said yes. He began to train me and to modify my body after that. I was trained to be a soldier, assassin, hacker, mechanic, and slave. His training was harsh and his punishments were brutal, but he was fair. When I was thirteen, he registered me with Collar. Then he died. You know the rest."

"So how old does that make you?"

"Seventeen, by his calculations. I don't know how accurate they are, but Collar is very particular about the age constraint, so it must be pretty close."

"Hm. Seems strange not to know how old you are," master said, then let it drop. "Is that how all the slaves get here? Are they all orphans?"

"No. A lot of them are homeless kids, picked up off the streets. Some are convicted of lesser crimes and have no family, so their governments sell them here. I heard a few slaves say that their families sold them to pay for food, but that's very rare. Most are picked up because they have no family, no one to miss them."

"You know you do have someone who would miss you, right?" he asked. I gave him a confused look. "I'd miss you very much if you went missing, silly," he told me. I couldn't help but give him a grin. My master was so sweet, and such a sap.


	20. Zechs 19

I can't say that I grew any more fond of Collar after my first day, but I was getting used to it. I had feared at first that naked boys would line the walls, horribly battered and bleeding, and that I would be asked to put Heero amongst them. I had been afraid that I would have to watch while others used Heero's sweet body, while I used the body of some other unfortunate boy.

It was much different. Heero was right when he said that most punishments were dolled out in private, as I had yet to see a slave garner anything more severe than a sharp crack to the rear. Masters openly held and touched their slaves, as well as complimenting and bragging about them.

Still, it was not a good atmosphere. Too many times had I seen a boy flinch in fear of his master, or turn away from an affectionate touch. There was an air of repression that hung over many of the slaves, and I was dedicated to lifting that. I knew, in order to do that, I would have to get in the top five of Collar. I already knew that I would enter Heero, but I worried about getting more slaves. I had promised not to risk losing Heero, and I was not regretting that. Still I needed a chance to gain more slaves without endangering Heero.

I never thought a chance would come up so quickly. The day after the introduction party, a redheaded slave showed up on my doorstep about noon with an invitation to meet up with master Marcel. Now, to be honest, my first impression of this man was that he was nothing more than a brown-noser, interested only in my title. Still, I wanted this alliance, and I had learned early on about how to deal with his type when I became a prince.

We met Marcel at about two, as we hadn't gotten back until nearly four in the morning and Heero had needed to do his exercises, while I had taken the private time to type up a report. After a quick shower and change of clothing, which found me in a more Victorian style dress to match Heero's outfit, we quickly made our way down to the cafe Marcel had specified.

Marcel we inside sitting at a small table when we arrived. About eight slaves were kneeling on a line of red mats behind him. There was also a red mat behind my chair and, as I sat down, Heero knelt on the mat behind me.

"Morning, my friend," Marcel greeted. He had a deep, richly accented voice which complemented his large, somewhat brutish body.

"Morning?" I questioned, "It's almost dinner."

"Ah," he dismissed, "You'll get used to the times here soon enough. So many people used to prowling the nights, it's hard for them to stop. Still, will this be breakfast for you?"

"Lunch, more like it," I told him.

"Well, then you must try the fish. I swear, they breed them in the toilets and catch them themselves," he said, laughing deeply. We continued on this strain for a while, making idle chitchat. Marcel told me several things I had not known about Collar, but nothing of great importance. When the food came, I felt a quick stab of regret for eating in front of Heero, but he had only had breakfast a few hours ago, so would not be too hungry.

When the fish, which was good but a bit too heavily seasoned, was cleared away, Marcel stopped trying to quietly get me to reveal where I was from and turned his attention to more lucrative conversation.

"So, you have not had many bets yet, yah?" he asked. "You perhaps would make a bet with me?"

"Of course. What kind of bet?"

"Pshh. First we decide the wager, then I tell you the game."

"That doesn't seem fair."

"Is your first year. As such, I may take advantage of your newness."

"I see," I said, deciding to humor him.

"So, what shall our little bet be? I know you're in need of slaves, and I seem to have an overabundance of them," he said, casually waving toward the group of slaves kneeling behind him.

"I couldn't possibly bet Angel," I said quickly, not wanting to lead him on. "I don't want to make it too known, but I've already begun to train him for Collar," I said, certain that it would spread well enough that no one else would try to make a grab at Heero. If there was one thing I had come to know, it was that slaves in training were off-limits, and no one questioned it.

"Ah. I see. Well, then, I'll bet one of those slaves for something else of yours," he said. I could tell, then, that the slaves kneeling were not his better slaves, if he was willing to risk them. He had probably, wisely, left his training slaves at home. "How about that little bauble?" Marcel asked, pointing to my ring. It was a small gold ring with a rather large ruby. It was elegant, expensive, and ancient. Had I sold it, I could probably have fed a small country for a year. I gladly tossed it down on the table, far more ready to part with it than I was with Heero. Marcel lifted it at once, admiring the craftsmanship.

"It's lovely!" he gushed, then set it back down, though his hands twitched to lift it again. "Now, which slave would you like?" he asked. I glanced at the group of kneeling slaves. They were all beautiful, with a variety of skin tones and hair colors. One, in particular, caught my eye. His hair was a light blonde, and his skin was pale, as though he hadn't been outside in a while. He was thin, but not so thin as Heero had been. Still, while the other slaves were patient and relaxed, this one tense and would not lift his head.

"How about the little blonde one?" I asked before I could stop myself. The boy looked up at me with such terrified blue eyes that I wished I could stuff the words back in my mouth, but it was too late. Marcel laughed uproariously, then slapped the table.

"I feel almost a little bad about this trade, for you will get the worse end of the stick no matter what. That boy is good only for his hole, useless as soon as he is not filled. Too bad for you, my friend, but bet is a bet," he said, signaling me to follow him as he turned to leave the restaurant. I hadn't thought about where the bet would be held, but I wasn't surprised we were leaving. I wondered what kind of game I had entered.

I glanced at Heero to try to get his opinion about the slave. The boy hadn't looked like too much trouble, but Marcel was making me think he might be a handful. Heero could only give me a shrug, as he didn't know any more about the boy than I did. I expected we know more very soon.


	21. Zechs 20

Marcel led me away from what I had come to know as the shopping district and toward a part of the satellite that I had never seen. The halls were long, but the doors were spaced widely apart, and I wondered that would take so much room inside them.

"Your boy, he is fast, no?" Marcel asked as he opened the door.

"He can be quick when he wants to be," I said as I entered the room.

"That is good," Marcel said as I got my first look at what appeared to be a long, fairly easy obstacle course. "Because today he will run the gauntlet."

Of all the things Marcel could have chosen, this was the one I feared most. The gauntlet would meld Heero's greatest fear with a sense of helplessness that could only be contrived by depriving one of the most vital senses.

"You're slave looks frightened," Marcel commented as Heero came to my side. I looked at him. His eyes were scared, but as he looked into my eyes I could see a hardening, a trust.

"Just some jitters," I said, stroking his face, "he's probably just too excited about the race," I lied.

"Well, then, I'll leave you to put your slave into his gear, unless you want one of my pets to help you," he said smiling with an icy overtone. He wanted that ring, and I wasn't sure he was above cheating to get it.

"No, it's fine. What kind of master would I be if I couldn't care for a single slave?" I asked, smiling back in the same manner. He nodded and walked off to the other side of the room.

I took a moment to get a better grasp on my surroundings. The room was large and bright, giving it something of a warehouse feel. It was almost divided in half, as there was a long track down the middle with two starting gates and evenly spaced barriers down the middle. The track itself was simply a long area of sand, dotted with padded barriers. At first it looked more like a place to play paint-ball than an obstacle course, but remembering that the slaves would be blindfolded and led with a whip added a degree of difficulty to it. I flinched as I realized how little protection the padding would add to the solid barriers if a person were to hit them running at full force. Heero would certainly need a hot bath tonight, regardless of the outcome of the race.

"Master?" Heero called, pulling my attention back. "Could you help me?" he asked. I smiled, as though it was even a question.

I turned around to find that Heero had already stripped and was holding up a type of harness. I had no doubt that it was impossible to put on alone, otherwise he would have already had it on. So stubborn.

I held the harness as Heero stepped in, then pulled it up to watch it cover his crotch in a sort of cup, then extend in straps further up to secure around his shoulders and latch behind his head. It would keep the cup from falling off and potentially damaging Heero, and it was indeed impossible to put on alone. I patted Heero's shoulder once it was finished and he turned around.

"My hands must be secured," he said in monotone, telling me just how afraid he truly was. Still, I could do nothing but take the strong fabric from the box on the floor and tie his hands behind him. Once finished with that, I moved on to the gag, which was designed so that it would tie around the head, preventing it from coming off, to serve as both a gag and a mouthpiece, keeping Heero from biting his tongue. I lifted the blindfold, staring Heero deeply in the eyes before putting it on. Only when I could see the fear fading from his eyes did I cover them, and even then it was difficult. Finally, I picked up the small pieces of foam that would block all the sound from Heero's ears.

"You know that I won't hurt you," I whispered softly in his ear. "I need to know that you won't panic, that you'll trust me with this," I said. Heero gulped and nodded. With a deep breath, I put the earplugs in place and turned to see if the competitors were ready.

I looked just in time to see the crowd of slaves part to reveal a very skinny, shaking blond in their middle. He was in his harness and gag, but not his blindfold, and I couldn't tell about the earplugs, but I assumed they were in. Marcel approached with the blindfold and the boy looked up at him with such terror, such sadness... I never could have done it, but he did without hesitation.

It was no easier to move to the starting line with those eyes covered. The boy tried to struggle away, but the slaves were pitiless, and pulled him to the gate. I guided Heero with two hands on his shoulders, and he went without protest. I might have backed out, otherwise.

The objective was simple; get your slave to the other end of the course first. There was a solid wall off padding at the other end, because they slaves obviously could not tell when the race was over, and the first slave to run into it would win. We were to guide the slaves with whips, meaning that we would have to move with them down the course. We wouldn't have to move as quickly, though, because of the long reach on the whip. The course was probably less than a hundred yards long, but I doubted it would be over quickly.

As I put Heero at the starting line, I forced myself to block out the other team. Seeing that boy at the mercy of that man... I couldn't risk the distraction. Instead, I focused on Heero, so when the starting bell rang, I instantly delivered a stinging blow to his rear and he set off like a rocket.

Heero ran so fast out of the gate that I had to jog to keep up, and almost couldn't direct him away from the first obstacle. It was a block the size of a football player, right in the middle. I raised the whip, and, with the added difficulty of running, accidentally snapped it just above the top of his left shoulder, grazing him instead of giving him a light smack. Heero immediately dodged to the right, and gave me an idea. When the next obstacle came up, I snapped the whip above his left shoulder and, though it didn't actually hit him, he dove to the left to avoid the blow. I smiled. The race would be much easier to tolerate if I wasn't forced to actually hit Heero.

We were halfway down the course before I allowed myself to glance at our competitors. They were several feet behind us and, though the other slave was still on his feet, he was having a very difficult time with his breathing. It seemed that he had panicked and was not getting enough air in through his nose to calm himself. His face was bright red and he was gasping horribly as he tried to fill his lungs and run at the same time.

Marcel gave him no quarter. The master's face was almost as red as the slave's as he used strong smacks from his whip to almost push the boy down the track. Obviously fed up with the slave, Marcel was literally throwing the boy aside with the whip instead of guiding him, leaving large bruises behind.

I snapped my attention away and managed to turn Heero just in time to keep him from running into another obstacle. His shoulder hit it, though, and he turned slightly away from the center of the course. I let the whip just lightly run down the side of his arm, hoping that he would take the hint and turn just a little, but instead he jumped to the left and ran into the side of a barrier, spinning completely around and landing on his rump.

I came to a stop in front of him. It was bad that he had fallen, as the other boy had yet to fall and was quickly gaining on us, however we still had several yards to our advantage and the last thing we needed to do was panic. My slave was wheezing terribly and I was reminded that it had not been so long ago that he had come to me, half dead with hunger and weak as a kitten. He was pushing himself too hard, and I knew I would have to make him rest soon.

But there was no time for that at present. I could see Heero was jittery as he got to his feet, still facing the wrong way. His face looked lost, as he knew that he was not facing the right direction, but he had not idea what direction he was facing or where to turn. I had to think quickly, how to point him in the right direction with only my whip.

It struck me, then. The rules had said I must use my whip, but not that I must hit him. Quickly, I took the base of the whip and placed it against Heero's chin. He was tense and uncertain as I used it to push his head around, but he allowed his body to follow. When he was facing the right direction, I gave him a sharp smack to the rear and he was off again.

As I had gotten Heero on his feet, Marcel and his boy had actually gotten ahead of us, but Heero was still faster than the struggling boy. We were neck and neck as we approached the finish line, but Heero quickly pulled ahead, finishing a good six feet ahead of the others.

Heero smacked into the barrier full force and was tossed backward, landing on his behind. He sat there for a moment, stunned, his chest heaving, and managed to give me time to reach him before he decided that the race wasn't over. Immediately I pulled the gag out of his mouth and was rewarded by the sound of his gasping breath. He sounded winded, but not hurt. As far as I could see, he would only suffer some minor bruising from hitting the barriers and his fall. Next, I untied his hands. He pulled them to the front and rubbed them. I could see faint lines where he had pulled at the cloth, but nothing more.

I was reaching for his blindfold when I heard the thud that told me the other boy had finished the race. I quickly removed the blindfold and earplugs.

"Stay here a moment," I told him, rising to my feet, " and catch your breath. I'll be back," I said, then turned to the other competitors.


	22. Zechs 21

The sight that greeted me when I turned around was brutal. Marcel, in rage, raised his whip again and hit the blonde slave mercilessly as the boy coward on the floor. There were red welts and cuts all over his back and arms. He was bleeding profusely. His breathing was ragged and had a wet sound to it, and I soon saw that his nose was bleeding, impairing his ability to breathe even more. Marcel raised the whip again and hit the boy with a sharp crack. The boy, terrified and wounded, assumed that he had hit a barrier, and was desperately trying to feel the way around it without the guidance of his master. He frantically felt the surface of the plastic material as he crawled along it on his knees, his hands tied behind his back, trying to find away around it so that he could get away from the pain. Marcel raised the whip again and prepared to bring it down.

My arm caught his in a vicelike grip. I couldn't remember moving, I was so filled with anger, but somehow I managed to get beside Marcel, towering over him in a rage that I had not often felt.

"That's enough," I growled, and Marcel was so stunned by my anger that his own drained away and he dropped the whip. He soon recovered himself and tried to cover his fear by roughly pulling his arm from mine.

"Take the whelp," he said, "he's more trouble than he's worth anyway." And with that, he went back to his slaves. I was glad, for I was mere inches from doing something I would not regret.

I turned back to the boy, who had curled into a ball on his side and was making the most piteous noises between his wheezes. I knelt beside him an touched his shoulder. He flinched hard, pulling himself into a tighter ball. I would have liked to coax him out of it, but I didn't have time to be gentle when he was having so much difficulty breathing. Instead I put a hand on his shoulder and one on his knee and forced him to uncurl. He struggled for a moment, but had neither the energy nor the air to fight me, and sagged in exhaustion a moment later.

With him uncurled I was able to reach up and pull the gag from his mouth. It had been tied too tight and had cut into his lips at the corners of his mouth. He gasped deeply as I pulled the gag out, his body contorting as he struggled to fill his lungs with air. He had been chocking and it was difficult for him to catch his breath, so I freed his hands and helped him to his knees. As hard as he had been driven, I was not surprised to see him throw up, his small body heaving as it tried to decide what it needed to do to regulate itself. He wavered and might have fallen over, but I steadied him.

Despite the extra air, the boy was still not getting enough oxygen, or, at least, he didn't think he was. His breathing came in small, quick gasps and he couldn't seem to wait long enough to get his lungs completely filled, but he didn't think the short gasps were enough, either. He was hyperventilating, and would faint if he kept it up, so I removed the earplugs and pulled him against my side.

"Listen to me," I said, my voice deep and commanding, "I want you to take a deep breath. Take it in. A little more. Good," I said as he struggled to listen to me. "Now, hold it. Hold. Hold. Now let it out. One, two, three. Now in," I instructed until he had finally gotten his breathing under control. He would still dissolve into bouts of gasps every once in a while, but I was certain that this was because he was crying harshly, and not because he couldn't breathe.

I tore the sleeve from my shirt, unmindful that it would be expensive to repair, and wiped his face, removing the blindfold as I did. I was glad he had been crying, as he had plowed his face into the sand somewhere on the race. There was sand all over his body, but specifically inside the blindfold, where it could have been pushed into his eyes had he not cried it out. I wiped the blood, sweat, and tears from his face, trying to stop the lethargic bleeding of his nose as I went.

I became aware of Heero sitting next to me on the ground, looking at us with concern.

"Come here," I told him, signaling for him to lean closer. He flinched a little, I think concerned that he had disobeyed my order to stay, but that was the least of my concerns at the moment. Instead I unsnapped his harness from behind his neck.

"Run and change your clothes," I ordered, "Go on."

Heero bolted up to change his clothes as I held the still sobbing boy on my lap. His eyes were open and he stared up at me, his eyes so clear and so blue as they watched me with a dreadful anxiousness.

"It's alright, little one," I coaxed as petted the hair away from his face, "You'll be alright," I told him, meaning to sooth him. He only lowered his eyes, tears slipping out once again.

Heero returned a moment later and I handed the light youth to him. It was awkward, because they were close in height and Heero had to hold him chest to chest. The blonde's chin laid on Heero's shoulder as he brought his legs up to circle Heero's waste. Any other position would have rubbed his back, which was a mess as it was. Heero, though tired from the race, held his burden carefully and I had no fear that he would drop him.

"Take him back to the room," I ordered, "Make him comfortable. I will be there momentarily."

Heero nodded and set off, taking the sobbing boy with him. I sighed. It would take a lot to make the boy well, and even more to get him over the trauma this scene had caused.

Manners dictated that I would have a parting word with Marcel and, though I would have rather bite my own thumb, I went over to speak with the man.

"I suppose I got a little... carried away with the pet, eh?" he asked, smiling as he capitulated. "Perhaps you would rather another of my pets?" he said, waving his hand toward the group again.

"No," I replied stonily, "I have the one I wanted."

"Eh," he said nervously. I think perhaps he thought I was angry that he had damaged my property, thus giving me a bad deal, and that I would no longer bet with him in the future. Hoping to put aside our conflict, he said, "Perhaps you don't like any of my pets, but what about the Duke's? He has some magnificent pets, and he owes me one from a card game. I'll give it to you. Friday, at the dinning hall. I'll send invitation. Introduce you to him. What you say?" he asked. I was hesitant to take another slave from this man, after the treatment the other had received. Also, I knew if he was offering the slave for free it would be useless, a toy instead of a tool, and I only needed slaves for Collar, not for pleasure. Still, I was so anxious to get back to the little blonde slave and I needed as many allies as I could get, so I nodded, hoping to speed up our parting and keep from having a feud with another master.

"Wonderful!" he shouted, clapping his hands. "I'll send the invitation soon."

"I really must be going now, then," I told him, and with a curt nod left the room, hastily making my way back to my room, hoping both my slaves were alright.


	23. Zechs 22

I arrived at the room only a few minutes after the other two had arrived. I found them seated on the couch. Or, actually, Heero was seated on the couch, and the blonde slave was draped across his lap. Heero had laid a towel over the boy's back, but, other than that, seemed at a loss for what to do.

"How's he doing?" I asked as I crossed the room, startling the blonde, who gasped and shied into Heero's embrace.

"I... don't know. He needs stitches, I think. His name is Quatre," Heero told me. The boy, Quatre, gave him a hurt glare, as though his name was a secret.

"I could have found out from you papers," I told him. Quatre looked at me, frightened, then dissolved into tears once again. "What happened?" I asked, surprised by his sudden outburst.

"He's been doing that since we got here. I think it's because of his back," Heero told me softly, looking at the boy in his arms with concern and pity.

"I'll have to take a look," I said, "Lay him down flat on the couch for me, would you? Then run and get some more towels," I ordered. Heero was quick to obey, cautiously slipping out from under the lighter boy. The movement jarred Quatre, and he cried out a bit, but was otherwise silent except for the small sobs as he cried.

"How do you feel?" I asked as Heero went for the towels. The boy would only shake his head, never looking at me. I took his chin in my hand and forced his head up, looking into his eyes. "I know you're hurting, but you have to work with me. I'm trying to help you. Now, I know your back hurts, and I know what's wrong with it, so I'll leave that alone for right now. Does anything else hurt?"

"M-my ankle," Quatre said, once again letting his eyes lower away from mine, "and my nose. But... my back..." he dissolved into tears again, "... it hurts so bad!" he cried, tears beginning to flow more rapidly.

"Shh," I cooed. "I know. Just hold on a little longer, alright?"

By this time, Heero had returned with the towels. I could see that Quatre had given himself a nasty bruise on his nose and probably a black eye, but he hadn't broken anything on his face, so there was nothing I could do for it. Instead, I worked my way down to his ankle, which was swollen and looked sprained, but wasn't bad enough to be broken. I sent Heero for some ice, placing a pack on Quatre's ankle and one on his face when Heero returned. Then I asked Heero to hold Quatre's hands while I peeled away the towel.

I had known the boy was going to scream. He was in too much pain not to, and I wasn't going to aggravate the cuts on his lips by gagging him or some such nonsense. I think, though, that he thought I would, because after the initial scream he bit down hard on his bottom lip to quiet himself.

"Stop that," I snapped, "I have enough holes in your skin that I need to fix without you adding more. Scream if you need to, I don't care."

After that, he screamed, and clung to Heero's hands, and shook his head, and kicked his feet, but remained where I needed him to be as I peeled the towel from his bleeding skin. The wounds underneath were bleeding sluggishly, his skin bright red from blood and aggravated by the sand in his wounds. It would be difficult to clean this mess and patch it up. There were three main wounds, all about eight inches long. One went diagonally from his left shoulder to his right side. Another went from his right side up to the middle of his back. The third went from his left shoulder slightly downward to his right shoulder. There was a hodgepodge of other cuts, welts, and bruises, but nothing more serious than some heavy bruising. These were the only three that would need stitches, but they were enough. I also had to contend with the sand, which meant that I would have to bathe the boy before I could even begin to clean the cuts.

"Heero, I want you to run to the pharmacy. You know where that is, right? Take my card and buy bandages, gauze, tape, antiseptic, needles, thread, and any kind of pain pills you can find. See if they have some mild antibiotics that won't react to the painkillers. Mild tranquilizers, too, but get the strongest painkillers they have. See if they have any scar-prevention creams. And rubber gloves, I'll need a set of those," I told him, thinking out loud of what I'd need. "Put everything on my card, don't worry about the cost. Well? Get going!" I snapped, and he darted to get my card then out the door.

I turned back to Quatre to find him staring a the door like a puppy who'd been left behind for the first time. There was such longing in his eyes that I wondered how the two had bonded so quickly, then his eyes turned on me, and there was such a flash of panic that I understood the situation. He had hoped Heero would protect him from me, or, at least, that I would be gentler with him around the other slave. He was afraid of me and, from his last master, I could understand why.

"Can you stand?" I asked softly, brushing the hair from his eyes. He felt warm, and I hoped he hadn't gotten a fever already.

"I think so, master," he said, barely above a whisper, then attempted to get up. I stopped him with a hand on his shoulder.

"Lie still for now," I told him, "I'll need you to get up in a little, but there's no use jumping the gun. Rest a moment, there's something I have to attend to. If you need me, I'll just be in the other room," I told him. He nodded, but I doubted he'd let himself call for me. I gave his head one last pat, then stood and walked to the bathroom.

More than anything, I wanted to give the boy a moment to collect himself and orient himself to this quickly changing situation. Now that Heero was gone, he was alone with me, a man he feared greatly. I could only hope his fear would keep him docile and allow me to work without causing him too much stress.

In the bathroom, I quickly turned the faucet to a cool temperature and ran a few inches of water, just enough to cool the boy down. I then ran a little of the water through the detachable shower head, so that the water would not be cold when it came out. Then there was nothing left to do but return and hope the boy had calmed.

My hopes were in vain. I returned to find Quatre sobbing harshly into the pillow, his slim shoulders shaking at the force of his pain. I approached the boy quietly and ran my hand along his side to alert him of my presence. Quatre jerked in surprise, whipping his head around to see me.

"Come now, it's time for you to get up," I instructed. Quatre nodded mutely and forced his skinny arms to push his torso off the couch, then brought his knees under him. He cried out in pain as the movement caused the skin of his back to stretch, but continued his progress. When he was on his knees, I was able to take a hold of his arms and lift him to his feet.

Quatre swayed, dizzy from fatigue and blood loss, but managed to stay on his feet with my support. I led him to the bathroom, going slowly as each step seemed painful for him. Once there I unbuckled his harness, which I had left on before, and let it drop to the floor. Quatre stared at his feet, his face going bright red as he bit his lip in nervousness.

"I need you to get in the tub," I told him. He did so, hesitantly, clinging to me for support as his body trembled, weak and tired. Once in he fell to his knees, then leaned forward, supporting himself on his hands. His arms shook as they held him, then gave out a minute later. With a startled cry he began to fall forward, but I was quick to catch him. I let him down slowly, murmuring that he should extend his legs as well. He lay bonelessly when I was finished, too tired to protest as I turned the water on and began to wash the sand away using the hose.

I was relieved to find that the sand came out of his wounds fairly easily, as the blood washed much of it out as the water made the cuts bleed anew. I was also sure to wash the sand out of his hair and face, but I couldn't use soap because it would sting his cuts. He would need a proper bath at some point, but he couldn't get one until he'd healed a bit.

I allowed the water to drain away, still washing sand off Quatre's body so that none of it would stay to bother his skin. The boy seemed almost asleep, but the crease in his forehead told me he was still awake. It might have been better had he gone to sleep, for I had to touch him to brush the sand off, and he tensed when I rubbed his rear or his groin, even though I was helping him.

I finished quickly and pulled him back to his knees. He seemed less shaky now that he had cooled off some and I was able to pat him dry without him falling. From there, I pulled him back to his feet and we hobbled out of the room again.

I know Quatre would have liked nothing better than to return to the couch, but, sadly, I couldn't let him do that. I knew he would be difficult to move when I got him settled again and I needed to put him somewhere with good light and a flat surface, so that I could work on his back. Unfortunately, the only place that met those standards was the kitchen table.

Quatre was docile as I led him out of the bathroom, but baulked when I led him to the kitchen instead of the livingroom.

"Master..." he whispered in protest as I turned him, his eyes looking longingly at the couch. He stared gloomily at the kitchen as we approached, a new set of tears falling down his face. We stopped in front of the table, which was made of metal and looked more like a surgical bench than I originally realized. Still, it was strong enough to support the light boy, and that was all that really mattered.

"Up," I commanded softly. Quatre stared at me, shocked and appalled as he began to shake.

"Master... I can't," he whispered.

"Yes, you can," I told him. "Don't be afraid, just do it."

He nodded, though I could tell that he didn't want to, and stepped up on the chair I had pulled out. Moving like he was a hundred time his age, he slowly got himself onto the table and lay down. Once he was completely seated, he buried his face in his arms and began to cry again.

I left him on the table alone as I went to fetch him a blanket and a pillow. I didn't want to humiliate him, or make him uncomfortable, or even cold, but I knew that he wouldn't hear any of the explanations I gave right then, so I kept my silence as I covered him up. He was grateful for the blanket and surprised by my actions, but there was still a lingering mistrust in his mind that I doubted I would put aside any time soon.


	24. Zechs 23

Heero returned minutes later, carrying four heavy brown bags of medical supplies with him. He was surprised to find us in the kitchen, but I could see that he understood my reasoning. We emptied the bags on the counter and I found that Heero had done a very good job in purchasing what I would need. As far as I could see, there was nothing I needed that I did not have, and a few things I didn't need that I had suddenly gained. I even found a bottle of instant-numb spray, something I had wished for but hadn't dreamed of getting.

"Heero, this is great! How did you find all this stuff?" I asked. Heero blushed.

"I told the pharmacist what had happened. She advised me on what to buy," he told me, smiling slightly at the comment. Then, suddenly, his attitude changed and he became nervous and worried once again. "Master," Heero whispered quietly beside me as I read the label of the tranquilizers he had bought. "I... I think we should take him to the hospital. I know it seems weak, but..."

"No, Heero, and that's final," I told him before I would allow myself to reconsider.

"The slave hospital is the best there is, master. And it is free..." he protested. I could see how worried he was about the other slave, and I had no doubts this situation would remind him of his own past, but I couldn't afford to allow the other masters to see me as weak.

"And I will not be permitted to see him until the doctor gives clearance. He's better off here, Heero."

"Master, please, I... I can't use any of this stuff! I'm not trained!" he whispered harshly.

"Well, then," I said, filling a syringe with a smooth and practiced motion, "you had better watch me very carefully, because you should really know this kind of stuff," I told him with a smirk. He gaped at me, realizing now that I had never meant for him to treat Quatre. I had several years of training as a field medic under my belt due to regulation classes at Preventers. While Quatre's wounds were a bit tougher than what I'd handled before, I had no doubt that I could keep them from being life-threatening. I knew that he would do better at the hospital, where they had the equipment and staff to care for him, but I couldn't compromise the mission for that as long as I was able to do the work myself. Obviously, I would send the boy to the hospital if he became dangerously ill, but I hoped that I could keep it from coming to that.

"Quatre," I said, moving to stand over the boy and rubbing his shoulder with a cotton ball of alcohol, "You're going to feel a little prick now, alright? I want you to try not to jump," I told him, my voice strong and clear to make sure he understood. He nodded and I brought the needle down to prick him. He flinched, but held still as I injected him, holding tightly onto the table with both hands until I removed the needle and wiped the small spot of blood away. "There," I said gently, "That wasn't so bad, was it? You should start to feel a little sleepy soon, but it's not enough to put you out, alright? I'm just trying to take the edge off," I told him. He nodded, and I could already see his body begin to relax as I set up my tools. When I was sure the drug had kicked in, I pulled the sheet back to expose Quatre's shoulders and back, leaving it over his legs.

"Heero," I said softly, motioning for the boy to come closer, "I want you to hold Quatre's legs down while I work. This shouldn't hurt him, but it may be uncomfortable and it is vital he doesn't move while I'm working."

Heero gulped, looking somewhat pale, then nodded and settled some of his weight on Quatre's legs. The boy stirred, but didn't protest, telling me he was far enough gone fore me to begin.

"Quatre this is going to feel cold," I warned, lifting the bottle of numbing liquid. I knew how strong that particular brand was, so I used it sparingly. I certainly gave him enough to take the pain away, but I didn't want him to lose feeling to his back, which this medicine could cause when overused.

"Quatre? I need you to listen to me now. I'm going to start, and I know this is going to hurt, but you can't move. I don't want you to have too many painkillers, but if you start to feel like you can't take it, tell me and I'll give you some more. Whatever you do, don't move, alright? Here we go."

Regardless of everything I did, there was no way I could completely remove all the pain and keep Quatre on this side of consciousness. He moaned, groaned, and sweated through my stitching of the first cut, crying when he had the strength. On the second cut he began to thrash his head, but still stayed quiet.

Halfway through the second cut, Quatre suddenly decided he couldn't take enough and attempted to sit up. This was not a good idea, not only because he was drugged and bleeding, but also because I had a needle halfway through his flesh. He was lucky that so much of his strength was sapped, so that I was able to force him back down to the table with one hand, otherwise he probably would have been fishing in his back for the needle.

"Quatre, stay still!" I growled, pushing him back to the bed. His strength gave out and he fell back to the bed with a harsh sob, crying pitifully while I filled another syringe and gave him another dose of the painkillers.

The second dose was enough that, luckily, he didn't have a repeat performance. I was able to finish stitching the boy up and warp his wounds then, while the painkillers were still working, Heero and I managed to carry him into the bedroom so he could sleep.

From there, I sent Heero to get a hot shower and I called for dinner for the both of us. It was a quiet affair, as we were both exhausted. When we finished dinner, I had Heero go make up the servants beds, as I had decided we should sleep in there instead of disturbing Quatre. While Heero did that, I went to check on Quatre only to find him shivering. I quickly checked his temperature and, finding it normal, decided that it must be a side effect of the drugs we had given him.

Heero came to join us a minute later and, ever wary of Quatre's wounds, I slid under the blankets beside him, then motioned for Heero to slide in beside me. He did so without complaint, though I could see he was confused in the sudden change of sleeping arrangements. When Quatre, seeking warmth even in his slumber, crawled onto me, he seemed to understand that I felt we needed to warm the boy up, not to mention keep a closer eye on him. He began sobbing quietly soon, but there was nothing I could do but rub his shoulder gently and try to make him understand that we were trying to help him, despite how much pain we had caused. Then I let him cry it out, both because I knew he needed to and because there was really nothing I could do. After all the pain he had gone through today, he deserved a good cry.

So, with Quatre huddled on his stomach on my left arm and Heero curled in the embrace of my right, I soon drifted to sleep, my first slave and now my second slumbering peacefully beside me.


	25. Quatre 24

It was warm when I finally woke up. I had felt so cold at the beginning of the night, but when I woke up I felt almost a bit too warm. My throat was parched and I was desperate for a drink of water. I hoped that the other slave, Heero was around. I didn't think I could get it myself and I hoped he'd do me this favor. I'd do whatever I needed to repay him later, but I was so thirsty.

There was a body under me that I could not identify. I tensed when I realized it, but it seemed futile, since I had obviously been resting on it all night, so I quickly gave up an relaxed. I assumed that the body must be Heero's, for he was the only one who would have any reason to stay with me. I wondered if the master had asked him to take care of me, or if he was just kind. I hoped it was the latter, but I was leaning toward the former. I was competition, and I had learned well with my last master how cruel people can be in defending their place from a competitor.

"Heero," I whispered, my voice raspy, "Heero, please, I really need a drink of water. I'm sorry for being so much trouble, but..."

He grunted something beneath me, I think only half awake, then eased himself out from beneath me and stood up, stumbling out of the room. It was a little cooler without him, but I missed being close to him the moment he was gone. I had been isolated for so long, and now it seemed that I craved the touch of another human.

When my new master had walked down the line up, I had never dreamed he would pick me. I hadn't wanted him to pick me, because I knew how vicious master Marcel could be with a whip, but in some ways I did, if only to validate that I was still alive, that someone else could see me. Master Marcel's other slaves had never truly abused me, for that was master's job, but they had pushed me, or bullied me, or laughed at me, or stole from me, or lied to me, or anything else they could do. But what truly hurt was when they ignored me. I had to watch the bond many of them shared as slaves, unable to get in but unable to leave. It had hurt me deeply, because I had fed on the love and good feelings of others, and depriving me of love was like depriving me of food. I ate and ate, but inside something ate away at me. I withered, became weak, and then was forced through that terrible gauntlet.

Heero returned and I could hear the water swishing in the glass as he approached. It made me want it even more and I tried to sit up, but the pain was too great and I fell back down. As long as I laid still, the pain faded to a terrible ache, but trying to move made it flare up again, and I wasn't sure how I would manage the drink.

Heero flipped the lights on and I temporarily blinded by the light, so I buried by face in the pillow to escape the harsh light. Behind me, I could hear Heero as he moved, then I felt as he sat down on the bed beside me.

"Come on," he said, and his voice was strange, deeper than I remembered it.

I looked up to find myself staring at the blonde-haired master who had won me the day before. A master that I had just ordered around like a slave.

I heard a pained whimper and realized halfway through that it was coming from me. I tried to stop it, but failed, so I buried my face in the pillow once again, hoping to silence myself.

"Stop that now," my master commanded, holding my chin as he forced my head up, "You can't very well drink like that."

I flinched as he brought the cup to my face, but I was so thirsty that my body overcame my fear and I latched onto the straw, sucking down the cool liquid as fast as I could, half afraid it would be taken away.

"Slow down," master chided, "you'll make yourself sick," he said, pulling the glass away. I whimpered, still thirsty even though my stomach felt uncomfortably sloshy. "Just wait a moment," master ordered, and held the cup out of my reach.

"Please," I whimpered, "just a little more..."

"You could have as much as you like, if you'd just slow down," master said sternly, but returned the cup anyway. I attempted to obey him and was rewarded when he let me finish the rest of the glass.

He took the glass back then and I let my head fall back to the pillow, exhausted by that small movement. Master put his hand on my head and I couldn't bring myself to move, but I flinched hard when he leaned down and gave my forehead a lingering kiss.

"M-master?" I questioned, feeling my body already begin to betray my fear with shivers. With my back like it was, and helpless as I was, if he decided to... to..

"I think you have a slight fever, but I can't really tell," he said, "Do you feel hot?"

"A-a little," I mumbled, so terribly relieved that he hadn't been doing... what I thought he was doing. I jumped as master snapped the comforter to the bottom of the bed, leaving only a lighter blanket. He then leaned over me and checked the clock sitting on the other side of the bed. He seemed satisfied with it, because he slid back under the covers next to me.

I half expected and half wanted him to pull me into his arms, because it felt so good when I thought he was Heero. But I was still afraid of him, and probably would have baulked, so it might be better that he didn't instead settling for lying with his side an inch or so away from mine. It helped that I could feel the heat of his skin, but I still craved the warmth of another person.

"Master?" I asked.

"Yes?"

"W-what's going on?"

"It's nothing to worry about. I'm just being your typical, lazy master," he said with a smile that I thought was sincere, but I wasn't sure, "and lounging around with a pretty boy," he said, and it sounded like he was teasing, which I was grateful for. "Heero and I have a party later, so I think I'll catch a little more sleep, alright? Heero wanted to train this morning, though I said he could skip, so he'll be back in an hour or two. Try to get some sleep, and tell me if you start to feel sick, alright?" he asked, and I nodded though there were tears in my eyes. "Quatre? Baby, what's wrong?"

I shook my head. I didn't want to answer, because I knew my master wouldn't like what I had to say. I was a stupid slave, always whimpering and crying. This master had done nothing but help me, but I couldn't read him with the space between us, and I couldn't stand not knowing if he would hurt me or not.

I sobbed violently and master carefully pulled me onto his chest, slow to make sure he didn't hurt me. I sobbed against his shoulder as he ran his fingers through my hair, trying to calm me. There was only concern within him, loud and ringing, as I let his motions fill me. There was no mask to this, no hidden agenda. He was honest and caring and gentle and I knew I didn't deserve him but I wanted him so badly. I wanted that caring and concern. I needed to feel that the world wasn't a poisonous place, but who would keep a disloyal, whiney, overemotional slave like me? I couldn't even keep myself from bawling all over my new master! He was going to throw me away at his first chance. I knew it and it made me cry all the harder. I cried so hard I think I might have passed out.


	26. Heero 25

We had breakfast in the bedroom when I returned. It was difficult for Quatre, because the only way he could sit up without hurting himself was to kneel with his legs underneath him, keeping his back straight. He had a hard time with it, and tired very quickly, only finishing the toast and some orange juice before he had to lay back down.

Master wanted to check Quatre's stitches after than, so he pulled down the blanket and pulled off the large pieces of gauze we had taped over top. He seemed pleased with the upper two, but the lower one was just the slightest bit red and swollen. Master made us douse it with some kind of liquid that burned Quatre, who started crying again, then forced some more pills into Quatre, who was frightened and didn't want them. Master tried to tell him that it was alright and that we weren't trying to hurt him, but Quatre was beyond listening, and eventually I had to hold him down while master forced the pills into him. Master tried again to calm the frightened boy, but he was too skittish, and master eventually said he wanted to go out and left the two of us alone.

"Hey," I said when master had left, "Do you need something?" I asked the sobbing boy. He shook his head vigorously, but cried all the harder. "I can get you something, if you need it. Master said the medicine should start to kick in soon, and that you'd feel better. Is it your back?" I asked, hoping I didn't need to go get master. The boy shook his head again. "Then what's wrong?"

"I-I don-don't want to b-be s-s-sold! I'm such a-an i-in-inconvenience! I c-c-can't d-do anything!"

"You're sick," I pointed out, gently rubbing his shoulder, "No one's going to hold it against you."

"No?" he sniffled, looking up at me with teary eyes, "Other masters would."

"Master Zechs isn't like that," I said, remembering how hard it was for me to believe. The boy shook his head and started crying again. "Quatre?"

"It's just... once he knows... I've always... always been useless. Master Marcel was kind to keep me. I don't know if Master Zechs will be so lenient. I'm just... useless," he whispered harshly.

"Master Marcel was anything but kind to you," I growled. "Don't you dare compare him to Master Zechs. After all the effort master has put into you, do you really think he would just get rid of you?"

The boy sniffled some more, then said softly, "I don't understand him, or what he wants. I'm not a Collar slave. There's nothing I'm trained to compete in, so what does he want?"

"Maybe he just wants to see you better. Maybe he thinks you'd make a good companion. I don't know what master thinks, but I do know that he cares about you. You don't need to fear him, he's only trying to help."

"What about you," he whispered softly, the tears stopped but his face forlorn, "Aren't I competition for the master's favors? Why are you being so kind to me?"

"I..." I said, then paused to think out the answer that I could already feel, "I don't think master Zechs will forget me, just because he has you. He might have less time with me, but he won't abandon me. I can feel that, and I trust it. And I don't think that I have the right to keep him all to myself, either. And I think you need him, too."

"How... how can you be so sure?" he asked. His eyelids were fluttering and he lowered his head to the pillow. I could tell he was falling asleep.

"You'll feel it, soon enough. There's just something about master Zechs. Something deeper and stronger than the other masters. It makes you want to help him, want to work with him. I can't explain it, but you'll feel it soon, too."

"I think," he whispered, his eyes sliding shut, "I already do."

Master Zechs returned in an hour and I found out that he had gone to the pool to cool off and relieve some stress with a swim. I told master what Quatre had said, and he told me that he had guessed it was something like that. He promised to talk to him when the other slave gained a little strength.

We woke Quatre only to feed him lunch and give him more medicine, and he slept the rest of the day. Master wanted my help deciding what to wear to Master Scrub's party, and we had slept for a lot of the day anyway, so it might have been for the best. Master worried a lot about Quatre, especially when we had to leave for Master Scrub's party.

Quatre had a mild fever and master didn't really want to leave him alone, but there was no one to be trusted watching him. We couldn't miss the party, so he eventually set the phone beside the bed with Mater Scrub's number on speed dial and told Quatre that if he needed anything he was to call the party. I doubted Quatre would be that brave, even if his shoulder began to bleed onto the bed. Master made sure he had used the bathroom, which we had to use a bottle for and took the both of us to handle as Quatre could neither turn over nor support himself. I was glad master was so kind, because other masters would not have assisted in such a lowly task and I needed master's help. He even left a gallon of sport drink beside the bed, worrying that Quatre would get dehydrated in the few hours we were gone. Quatre had already eaten and taken a strong dose of medicine, so I expected that he would sleep while we were gone. It managed to lessen master's worry, but didn't completely erase it. Still, I couldn't begrudge Quatre master's concern, I had fed on it myself my first few days with Master Zechs. Still, it hurt to no longer be the only one receiving master's care, but master still gave me plenty of attention, which took the sting away.

Knowing that I was still master's only helped to keep me strong while master dotted on Quatre. He needed my help at Master Scrub's party, which we left to attend later that night.

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	27. Zechs 26

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	28. Heero 27

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	29. Zechs 28

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Halfway back to the room, Heero began to drag his feet, then stumble, then leaned on the wall. It was risky, but I decided it was better to pick him up then to leave him asleep in the hall. After all, I was the one who had worn him out.

"Master?" he asked as I lifted him into my arms. "Please, I'm fine. I can walk, I just..."

"Hush. You're almost asleep on your feet. We're almost home anyway," I told him and he settled as I carried him the rest of the way to the room.

Once inside, I realized that Heero was soundly asleep. I chucked and laid him on the couch, removing first the coat, then the hospital gown, and finally the balloon from him. He was so tired that he didn't even wake as I slowly pulled the heavy balloon out, only moaned and curled into a ball. I smiled as I tied the balloon off and tossed it in the garbage. Heero was so sweet when he was asleep, so innocent, curled on his side, both hands in front of his face, just brushing his soft lips.

I contemplated leaving him where he was, but knew that he'd be better off sleeping in the bed. He was going to be sore anyway, I decided he'd be even more sore if he slept on the couch. With that in mind, I lifted him again and carried him to the bedroom, where I was surprised to find Quatre awake.

"Is he alright?" Quatre questioned timidly as I slid my first naked slave into bed beside him. I knew how much the question must have cost him, as Quatre was still terrified of me, so I gave him a gentle smile. His wide blue eyes were locked onto mine, and I could see the distrust as I pulled the blanket up and tucked Heero in.

"He's fine, just a bit worn out. He'll be sore tomorrow, though, so he might spend most of the day with you," I told him. Quatre's eyes went to Heero and he nodded sadly, thinking perhaps that I had been too rough with him. I knew that nothing I said would change his opinion, so I sighed and went to the closet to change into my night clothes. Once there, I couldn't help but ask, "Why aren't you asleep?"

"I'm sorry," he said immediately, burying his face in the pillows.

"I'm not angry, but I thought the medicine would keep you out."

"I.." he mumbled, lifting his head from the pillow, "I tried to sleep, but my back started to itch and..."

"Ah. Let me see," I said as I finished dressing and walked over to the bed. Quatre flinched as I pulled back the covers. I couldn't really blame him, though, as he still didn't trust me, and he was naked except for a thin pair of shorts under the blanket. I gently peeled back the bandages from his back, grateful to find that all but one of the wounds was healing nicely, though the last was still looking too red around the edges. It worried me a bit, but I decided to let it have some more time. I lathered each of the wounds with an antiseptic cream and put fresh bandages on, then tucked Quatre back in and slid in beside Heero.

"Do you feel better?" I asked, turning out the light.

"Yes, master," Quatre whispered softly, "and thank you. You are too kind to me."

"I doubt that," I replied, "I'm sure you could use as much kindness as I can give. Now, get some sleep," I said as I moved Heero and myself a bit closer to Quatre, so that I could lay my hand on his head as I continued to hold Heero. Quatre looked for a moment as though he would move away, but soon settled and wearily let his eyes droop shut. I knew it would take a while to gain Quatre's trust, but I felt we had moved in the right direction.


	30. Quatre 29

...See what happens when I get lots of reviews? I just can't help but post.

I still felt weak and drained when I awoke the next morning, but it was better than it had been. My new master and his slave were taking good care of me, and I actually felt like I might be able to find some happiness with them, at least, as much happiness as a slave may find. It was with that thought, during the early hours of morning while master and Heero slept quietly, that I realized how little I had done, how little I had contributed, and how little worth I was proving to the master. I made an oath right then, as the other two slept peacefully, that I would begin to pull my weight, that I would overcome my weak body and prove that I was useful to master, so that he would keep me. However, as soon as this thought had entered my mind, my weak body betrayed me again and pulled me down into the depths of sleep.

The next time I woke, I cursed myself. Both master and Heero were gone, and breakfast was sitting next to me on the night stand. I had missed my chance to help out, I thought as I ate my toast and tea, but I could at least try to clean up after myself.

Master, however, had other plans, and entered just as I was finishing. He smiled at me, sat down beside me, and put his hand on my forehead.

"Feeling better?" he asked.

"Yes, master, thank you," I said timidly. I couldn't help it, master was so big and I was so much smaller. He made me feel that much weaker. Still, master just smiled and picked up the empty tray.

"Uh-... Oh!" I called to him, causing him to turn around, "I-I could take that," I offered, levering myself to my elbows with great difficulty. Master actually laughed at me.

"Don't be silly," he said, still smiling, "Go back to sleep. I'll wake you for lunch."

I fell back to the pillows in a huff. I would prove myself useful to master, no matter what I had to do.

At first, I decided that I needed to do something big to get master's attention. I certainly couldn't lure him into sex in my condition, but if I could make him lunch I could at least show him that I wasn't a complete waste of time. With that thought, I wiggled my legs off of the bed and attempted to stand, only to have my knees instantly give out. Unable to stop my downward movement, I slipped to my side and off the bed, rubbing my wounded back against the mattress on the way down. I couldn't help myself as I tried and failed to cut off a shriek of pain. There was a sudden flurry of footsteps and master came running into the room.

"What happened?" he questioned, helping me back into the bed.

"I... fell," I told him softly, hurt and humiliated by my own weakness.

"Were you trying to get something?" master asked, seeing through me.

"...I'm thirsty," I lied easily. My up bringing had shown me how to lie, and my time living with Master Marcel had honed that skill. I felt bad about it, but I wasn't about to take a punishment stupidly. Especially one that I doubted I could survive.

Master nodded his head, then brought me a glass of water. I was grateful for it, as I was feeling dizzy from falling out of bed and I needed to clear my head.

"If you need anything, just call. Heero or I will bring it to you. Don't be stupid and hurt yourself," master warned, then left the room, leaving the door open still incase I needed to call for something. I wondered if he was testing me, but I couldn't be sure. He had felt sincere earlier, but I was much too weak to tune my empathy in to one person and blank out the rest without physical contact. I hadn't been able to do that for months, there was a slim chance the power would return any time soon.

My next attempt was simply to sit up by myself, as I knew there was nothing I could do while in bed to help master, so that any aide I would give was dependant on me getting up. I managed to get to my elbows, but I made so much noise that master noticed.

"Quatre, what are you doing?" he asked as I collapsed back to the bed.

"Nothing," I called, praying he'd buy it. After a few minutes, I decided that he had either believed me or let it drop, because he wasn't coming to check on me. I tried again, and again, and again.

"Quatre? Do you need something?"

"Quatre... What are you doing?"

"Quatre, lay back down. I'm not going to say with again."

"Quatre, this is your last warning!"

"Quatre!" master called after my sixth attempt, finally angry as he stormed into the room. I was exhausted, covered in sweat and tears from all the attempts I'd made. I cowered against the bed, afraid I had finally pushed too far, as master opened the drawer loudly and took out a bottle of medicine. I whimpered as I recognized it as the one that put me to sleep. I wanted to help master, not look even more useless by sleeping. I also worried about what master would do to me while I slept. I had been so very bad lately...

"Open," master commanded sternly, holding a spoon of thick purple syrup in front of my face. I sobbed, but kept my mouth closed, backing away from him. If only I could tell him that I had been trying, that I would do better, that I could be useful...

"Quatre, open your mouth right now or you are going to be in very serious trouble," he growled. My mouth opened without my permission, my body too afraid to resist his commands. My body had been trained that resistance meant pain, and I was in too much already. I let out another sob as I swallowed the overly sweet contents of the spoon.

Master gave me a drink of water and pushed me back down to the bed then. I had managed to sit up, but nothing more, and probably would have fallen back down soon anyway. He pushed me to my stomach, but I was feeling vulnerable, and was uncomfortable having someone above me in that position anyway, so turned to my side.

Master surprised me. I had expected him to storm off in a huff, like many masters, and leave me alone to think about my actions, but he didn't. Instead, he slid in beside me and, after checking to make sure I was okay with his presence, pulled me against his side. I was tired, and beginning to feel lethargic from the medicine, so gave in to the temptation to curl against him. I could feel his annoyance, but it was superficial, and the worry underneath made me feel warm and cared for.

"What were you trying to do?" he asked softly, his lips brushing my forehead.

"I just..." I said, feeling the tears pool in my eyes, "I wanted to show you that I can be... useful," I told him. "I know that I..." I trailed off, changing my tactic as I ran my hand across his chest, making my voice hoarse and sultry, "...can be of use to you. Don't be afraid," I said, pulling his face toward mine, "to break me." I told him, moving my lips toward his. I was nearly there, thinking that I could do this to make master keep me, when he suddenly turned his head. I was so grateful I thought I would cry.

"Don't make promises you can't keep," he told me, looking into my eyes and, I thought, my soul. "I'm not going to do anything to you right now, when you're hurt. As for being useful, this certainly isn't how you go about doing it," he told me sternly, and I dissolved into tears, burying my face in his shoulder. I had only been trying to help, but I had messed everything up again. I was so stupid, and so useless, and selfish. Maybe if I had actually been trying to help the man who had been so kind to me, I would have been able to do it without screwing up.

"Enough, now," master cooed, wiping my face with a tissue, "I'm not angry." He paused then and let me collect myself before he went on. "Actually, there is something I need you for, but I'm not sure you're up to it."

"Anything," I breathed, hoping he would trust me when I had done nothing to earn his trust.

"Your old master saw me in the halls this morning and mentioned that I should bring you to the dinner tonight. I said that I might, but that you were feeling ill, so that I could not give him a direct answer. I would like to take you, but I don't know if I can trust you to rest until then, or to behave yourself once we get there."

"I will! I promise, I will! Please!" I begged. The mention of master Marcel had reminded me of how bad it could be. I would do anything not to go back to those days.

"Alright then, you can start by sleeping this morning and afternoon without complaint," he said, pulling out of my arms to rise from the bed. "Can you do that?"

I nodded and he left. It was not in the least bit difficult to follow the master's wishes, even though I was in knots over the meal. As much as I didn't want to see master Marcel again, I wanted to stay with master Zechs even more.


	31. Zechs 30

I had to buy some heavy drugs for Quatre before the meal. As it was he had trouble sitting up. I knew he wouldn't be able to take an hour or more of sitting on his current medication. Unlike when his arm was injured, Heero could not go to get these drugs, for they were potent enough to be illegal. Instead, I was able to retrieve them, as a master, and was able to converse with the clerk about where the drugs came from. I was pleased to find that they were medically safe, bought from L-2, where it was not illegal to purchase radical drugs.

The drug system in Collar was pathetically simple. The color denoted the effect of the drug, and the number its potency and duration. Red 1-1 was the lightest painkiller and would last only one hour. Blue 2-2 was the second lowest aphrodisiac and would last two hours. Yellow 4-2 was a fourth level anti-depressant that would last two hours. Green 3-6 was a third level sedative that would last six hours. And so the range went in each of the four colors through every level and time period up to level nine and twelve hours. Using my best judgement, I got Quatre a combo pill, an Orange 2-4, which mixed the Red painkiller and Yellow anti-depressant. I hoped it would be enough. I knew that the painkiller injections I was giving him were safer, but I also knew that these pills were stronger. I would need Quatre free of care for the dinner.

When I went back to the room, Quatre was still asleep. I wasn't surprised, as he had worn himself out attempting to get up to help me by doing God knows what. I had lost my tempter with him, I admit, seeing him struggle so hard in such a weak condition made me want to lash out at those who hurt him, and, unfortunately, Quatre had been hurting himself at the time. I still remember his terrified, pale face as he backed away from me on his knees, shaking like a newborn foal, his expressive blue eyes open wide in panic. He was not well enough to run, but had he been well enough I believe he would have tried to escape me.

It had been early afternoon when I had given him the medicine, and I knew that it would wear off long before the dinner, but I still fretted a bit over Quatre's still form, feeling his head for his fever which had, thankfully, gone down. I didn't want to take him out of the rooms before he was ready, but I needed to use him to make sure Marcel wouldn't go back on our agreement.

I had decided, after Heero's slipup with the party, that it was time I got another able-bodied slave, as much as I cringed at making such a purchase. It was simply becoming too much for Heero to handle, watching me, Quatre, his own recovery, and his training toward Collar. He needed help, but he wasn't going to like getting it.

Heero came back from his workout a few minutes before lunch which, because of Collar's strange schedule, was around six PM. We were expected at the dinner at eleven, but I still needed to find Quatre an outfit. Quatre was much more slender than Heero, and the clothes of Collar were made to fit just so, so it was necessary to purchase him a set of clothes all his own, instead of letting him wear Heero's. The trick was, he would not be well enough to try them on, so I would have to take his measurements and guess about the rest.

I sent Heero to take a shower while I called for lunch. The special was pasta, so I ordered two bowls and a bowl of soup for Quatre. By the time the food arrived, Heero was done with his shower, so the two of us ate. Once we were finished, I called Heero to help me feed Quatre. I worried that the boy, drugged and half asleep, would be difficult to feed.

My worries were completely unfounded. After pulling Quatre into a sitting position, which leaned his shoulder against the headboard of the bed as he still could not take weight on his back, and making sure he was awake enough to realize we were going to feed him, I barely had to do anything but hold the bowl as Quatre slurped it down noisily. The spoon lay forgotten on the dresser, but that was probably for the best, as hand feeding him every bite would have been an arduous task.

It seemed that Quatre, with his fever mostly gone now, was finally feeling the effects of the race, blood loss, and sickness that had depleted his small nutrient reserves. I could only hope that he would begin to eat to gain back his strength, and made a note to send down for quick snacks for the boy incase we were busy and Quatre was hungry.

Once Quatre finished I wiped the small trail of broth from the corner of his mouth, then helped him to lay back down. Looking like a kitten gorged on milk, I'm sure Quatre would have liked nothing more than to go back to sleep, but he forced himself to stay awake when I made no move to leave and instead pulled out a measuring tape.

"Whazzat?" Quatre slurred, struggling to hold his eyes open as he looked at me over his shoulder.

"Master's going to measure you for clothes," Heero interjected, moving from his place in the doorway to the bed. "Would you like some clothes?" he asked, taking Quatre's attention so I could begin to work. I gave him a nod in approval, then began to measure Quatre while he was distracted.

"I guess... so," Quatre replied, sleepy and wary at the same time.

"Any particular kind?" I asked to keep the conversation going.

"I... Anything with an open back, master, please," he said, suddenly sad and afraid. I paused.

"I'm not going to put you into something skin tight, if that's what you're thinking, but the open back idea might be a better option. Good job, little one," I praised, hoping to relax him a bit as I pulled back the blankets. It didn't work very well, for Quatre snatched the blankets and held on, preventing me from pulling them down.

"No..." he moaned, looking at me with pleading eyes. I had been expecting this.

"It's alright, we just want to measure you. It's just for a minute," I consoled, pulling the blankets out of his hands. He sniffled, burying his face in the pillows. I was quick with my measurements, taking them all down in my head, while Heero whispered solace in his ear and rubbed the shoulders of the crying boy. As soon as I was finished, I returned the covers to their original position and gently kissed the top of Quatre's head.

"I know this is hard for you, dear one, but you're doing very well. Just try to trust us, alright? We really are trying to help," I told him softly, then left the bed.

In the doorway, I paused and turned to Heero. "I have to leave now, or he won't have clothes for the dinner tonight. I want you to stay with Quatre, rest a bit, and keep an eye on him. You both need to be well rested and ready by the time I get back. I'm sure sleep will be no problem for Quatre, so I want you to nap along with him, alright?"

It wasn't really a question, so my only answer was Heero lying down beside Quatre to do as I commanded. I smiled softly at the pair, my pair. I sighed quietly at the thought. Unfortunately, my pair would soon become a trio.

Most of the clothes I bought for Quatre were baggy and made for sleeping clothes. I bought him an angel outfit somewhat similar to Heero's, only it was much more concealing and much less tight. The material was light, so I doubted it would hurt his back. The comparison between the two costumes would make Quatre look more innocent and Heero look more lusty. Hopefully it would also pull some attention away from Quatre and put it on Heero.

When I returned, Heero and Quatre were fast asleep, side by side, curled up like kittens. It struck me, then, that I had yet to come up with a slave name for Quatre, and the name instantly came to me. Quickly, for I knew that I would need him registered before the dinner, I logged onto my computer and drew up the documents to change his name electronically. In minutes, Quatre became Golden Sunshine Kitten.

I smiled softly and went to get my shower, giving them just a few more minutes of rest. The two deserved it, and would probably need it.

I woke Heero quietly once I was out of the shower and dressed, careful not to wake Quatre. His light blue eyes fluttered open, then followed the line of my arms from his shoulder up to my face. He smiled at me, relaxed and content, and I couldn't help but lean down to softly kiss his forehead before leading him to the kitchen.

"Morning, master," Heero commented, yawning and stretching.

"It's nearly nighttime," I commented with a smile. Heero merely shrugged.

"What are we going to do about Quatre?" he asked. My smile disappeared.

"As you know, I bought some drugs earlier today that should keep him quiet through dinner. I just don't know how he'll react to the drugs. I may need your help to give them to him."

Heero nodded solemnly. "We should do it soon, or it won't take effect before we leave."

I sighed, feeling as though the weight of the world had settled on my shoulders. The drugs were necessary to keep Quatre from feeling pain when we moved him and to keep him calm around the crowd, but I doubted he'd understand. Quatre was afraid of drugs, and nothing I said could calm that fear.

"We still have time," I told him, "Let him eat and rest a little more. We can get him ready after we're already dressed for the occasion. If worst comes to worst, we can leave him behind, but I'd rather not let it come to that."

"Why not?" Heero asked, being uncharacteristically bold, "Why is it so important that he goes with us?"

"Since the party, I've seen how much work I'm really putting on you. You've done very well so far, and I'm not chastising you for it, but we can't have another slip-up like that one. I think... we need to redistribute the workload, so I'm going to get another slave. Master Marcel promised me another slave because he "damaged" Quatre. Now, I have no intention of giving Quatre back, but I intend to take Marcel up on his proposition of another slave. I hope to use Quatre as a bargaining chip and... Heero? Are you alright?"

"I'm fine," he replied curtly, though he had gone somewhat pale and closed off. "I'll go order dinner," he said, and left the room.

I threw my hands in the air. What the devil had I said wrong now?


	32. Quatre 31

I liked curling up with Heero almost as much as I liked curling up with master. I felt no fear when I curled up with Heero, but I also didn't feel the fierce protectiveness master projected. There was kindness, but the bond I shared with Heero was not as strong as the bond I shared with master. It was still stronger than any I felt from a rival slave before, and I enjoyed it, but master's enveloped me while Heero's only touched me. In truth, Heero's bond with me felt more normal than master's because I had really only known them a few days, but I could feel the same kind of bind whenever master touched Heero, so I could only assume that this new master of mine was simply very attached and dedicated to his slaves. It was one of the reasons I vowed so strongly not to give master any reason to send me away.

If I could only get myself over my fear of master, I probably would have curled up with him more often, but, sick and wounded, I was still frightened that master would tire or become angry with me, so I tried to avoid contact with him, even though I craved it. My failed attempt to help him sparked hope in me that he might not be so severe if I made a mistake, as I obviously had, but it would take more for me to really believe it. Unfortunately, my failures also added to my fear that master would soon sell me, as I had still not given him a reason to keep me. Perhaps he thought it was a waste of energy to beat me, as he'd be rid of me soon anyway.

I was alone in the bed when master came to awake me for the dinner, though I am sure I went to sleep with Heero curled beside me. The dinner was something I dreaded, but I was glad to finally be able to do something for master, even if it was something as terrible as seeing Master Marcel again. Since I couldn't do anything physical for master, at least I could look pretty for him, and perhaps then he'd want to keep me. Still, I dreaded seeing Master Marcel's cruel eyes staring at me with such anger... If I thought about it too much, I could still hear the crack of the whip as it struck my flesh. It made the wounds on my back burn even more, and I tried to think about it as little as I could.

Ever gentle, master helped me get up, then hovered over me while I sat back on my ankles, worried I would fall. No one had worried about me in all my time at Collar, and soaked it up as much as I could. I couldn't bear to think of the time before Collar. The memories were bittersweet, so much that it was painful.

I had wedding soup that night, a change from the chicken soup I had been given the night before, but predicable in the sense that I had eaten nothing but soup and bread since I had arrived, because of my fever. Master worried that anything richer would make me vomit, and he didn't want to complicate my recovery. Master sat close to me as I ate, as either he or Heero always did, since they both worried I would faint and fall. I couldn't help but shy away. I wanted his attention and concern, but I was still afraid that I would do something wrong, and master would leave me. I wanted his praise, but I was too shy to earn it. I craved his touch, but I feared it. It was this set of paradoxes that put me in a limbo; constantly seeing what I wanted, but never reaching for it. More than anything I wanted affection, but I often became frightened when master gave it to me, so he no longer offered. And I was merely a slave, I had no right to ask for that which I did not earn.

"You can sleep a little longer," master told me once I had finished as he helped me to lie back down. "I'll wake you in time to get ready," he assured me as he pulled the blanket over me. I smiled contentedly and snuggled down into the pillow, warm and full. It felt like I was finally on the way to recovering, and I was starting to think that master would not get rid of me before then. I didn't let myself wonder what he had planned for me if he willing to put so much effort into me, for I was afraid of what that answer might be.

I must have slept for half an hour before master came to wake me, for I felt refreshed, but not lethargic as one does after a long sleep. I yawned, stretched as far as I could without hurting my back, and smiled. That is, until I saw the first aide box in master's hands.

"Master?" I questioned, uncertain. My bandages had already been changed for the day.

"I need to give you medicine to keep you from..."

"No!" I gasped, struggling to my knees.

"Quatre, listen," master cajoled, but I was already backing away.

"No, please!" I cried, hoping master would change his mind. "I'll behave, I promise!"

"I know you'll behave," master snapped, "that isn't what this is for!" he growled as he tried to pull me back toward him, but I dodged his outstretched hand and backed blindly toward the other side of the bed. Once there, I ran into something warm and soft and whipped my head around to see Heero standing behind me, his face grave.

"Quatre..." he called gently, and I couldn't help the tears that tracked down my face.

"Please," I begged him, "you understand, right? They could... they could do anything... anything! And I'd... I couldn't... do... anything..." I gasped out, staring into his deep blue eyes. I could tell that he understood as his eyes suddenly gained that haunted look a bad memory always bring, and I hoped for a moment that he might help me, but master was there in the next instant, his strong hands pulling me back, and my chance at escape was gone.

"Damn it, Quatre!" he growled, "No one's going to hurt you! And don't try to get Heero to save you from me when I'm not even hurting you!" master snapped, obviously upset. I glanced at Heero, who had grit his teeth and wouldn't look at me, and suddenly felt very ashamed. I had tried to use him to save myself from master, and in the process I had both angered master and reminded him of a past he most likely wanted to forget just as much as I did, and maybe more. Forgetting my previous fear in favor of my guilt, I reached out and brushed my fingertips across his arm, half afraid he would push me away. Instead, his guilty, tortured eyes raised to meet my own, and I could see the same pain, the same fear that was in my own.

We were kindred spirits, he and I. Our souls had been battered, and beaten, and bore scars that we could never erase, but we still fought on.

"I'm sorry," I whispered, hoping to convey to him the guilt I felt. Then I was silent, for any more would only sound like I was begging him not to be mad at me so that he would help me again, and any less would leave my conscience burning. He stared at me, and I lowered my head in shame, my hand remaining on his arm in a silent plea. When he said nothing, I assumed that he could not forgive me, but in a moment I felt him raise my hand to his face. I looked up as I felt him rub his cheek against my palm. Unable to voice his forgiveness, he had chosen this method instead, but I heard it all the same. I could feel the kindness of Heero's soul and, being so little the recipient of such kindness, I couldn't help but grab for more.

Heero was startled, I think, when I slipped into his embrace, wrapping my arms around him and bringing my head in his chest. It only took a moment, though, for Heero to return my embrace, and when he did I could feel the tension in his body, and in his soul. He, like me, was uncertain, set adrift by this new master, who was so wonderful that it seemed a cruel dream, and that any minute we would awaken back in the nightmarish reality that we had so long lived in. I could feel Heero shaking almost imperceptibly and remembered the scars on his back. Life had not been kind to him, but until now he had seemed at ease with master, and I wondered what had so upset him. As he clung to me almost as tightly as I clung to him, I could not find the voice to ask what had scared him so. In honesty, I did not want to.


	33. Quatre 32

It was then that I realized we had an audience, and remembered that master was still in the room with us. I turned my head cautiously and found him sitting on the bed patiently a few inches away. He did not seem angry as he watched us, like many masters would. Other masters feared letting their slaves bond, thinking they would mutiny, as some had. Masters strove to create competition between their slaves, to keep the slaves from trusting each other, and to force them to work harder. It was hard on the slaves, but benefitted the master all around. This master, however, looked almost pleased that we had come to share a bond as we did.

"Come to me?" master said softly, a questioning lilt to his voice, allowing for refusal. Heero and I both moved at the same time, gracefully untangling from each other as we moved to where master sat. It was the first time, I realized as I pressed myself against his left side, that I wasn't sure if I moved because my master had said to, or because I wanted to. True, I was still uncertain of my master, but now more than ever I craved the feeling of protection he gave when we touched. As Heero curled against his right side, I could tell he felt the need as I did and cherished it just as much.

I watched as master leaned to his right and could tell that he was kissing Heero even though I couldn't actually see it. When they parted and I could see Heero once again, there were no traces of disgust from the kiss. Instead, Heero had the ghost of a smile on his face as he leaned in to rub his cheek against master's chest. It was only then that I noticed they were both dressed for the dinner, with Heero in an angel costume and master in a loose, flowing white suit that allowed him to look as ethereal as Heero without using wings.

Master turned to me, and I realized with sudden clarity that he was going to kiss me. I choked down the urge to shy away and submitted obediently, parting my lips to allow him access. His lips met mine, but it was a chaste kiss, his lips lingering over mine for only a second, his tongue never invading my mouth. The warmth of his lips felt good on my own, and they tingled even as he sat back. It felt good and clean, unlike the kisses of my other masters.

A stab of fear went through me, realizing what had just happened, and I nervously glanced at Heero, who was watching me and could not have missed what had just happened. Though I had not asked for it, I was afraid Heero would be angry that master had kissed me, making me competition. But there was no jealousy in Heero's eyes, only a melancholy acceptance, telling me that he had known this would happen and had accepted it. I felt no animosity from him, and was grateful. I was not certain that in his place I would have been so kind.

"I won't proclaim to know what goes on in either of those heads of yours, but a blind man could see that you're both more upset than you have any merit to be. You," he said, looking me straight in the eyes, "need to learn to trust me. I've done nothing to betray your trust, and you've given me no way to earn it. Then, by default, I should have it, for it would make a lot of things go much more smoothly. You," he said, turning to Heero, "need to tell me what's wrong. I can't fix it if I don't know what it is. I know you have a voice, use it to help yourself once in a while, instead of putting all your feelings aside. Your silence does more harm than good, and the only one you're hurting is yourself."

I was somewhat awed when master finished. I had not known him to be nearly so perceptive. And neither, it seemed from the shocked look on his face, had Heero.

"Now," master continued, "If you have no compelling argument against it, I am going to give you an injection," he said firmly. I flinched at the word injection, then tensed, expecting him to pounce on me with the shot. Instead, he waited, and I realized that he was waiting for me to give him a response.

"I... won't have any... control..." I explained hesitantly. A slave wasn't supposed to have any control, and in reality we had almost none. The only control we had was over ourselves and our action, and drugs removed that control, making us helpless. When the master is someone the slave does not trust, this experience is... terrifying.

Master's eyes were sympathetic, but his resolve was still there as he said, "I understand, but I can't acquiesce. The drugs I'm about to give you are mild, and mainly painkillers, but they may disorient you," he said, placing a hand on my chin and tilting my face so that our eyes met. "You will have to trust that I will keep you safe. There is no other option, little one. I wish there were," he said sincerely, then gently kissed my forehead. I nodded, still frightened but less so.

"Just..." I said suddenly, "Just don't hold me down please," I asked, "I can't... I don't..."

"I understand," master said gently. "As long as you don' try to get away, no one will restrain you. Just stay calm," master soothed as he cleansed my arm and gently pricked me with the needle.

The drug didn't take affect immediately, but by the time master and Heero had moved to the closet to get my clothes, I could no longer feel the pain in my back. By the time they had dressed me, with their gentle hands and soft voices, I was beginning to feel like I was in a very good dream.

"Now, Heero," I heard master say, "It's time you and I talked about..." master said, but was interrupted by the beeping of his watch. He cursed. "You and I will talk when we come back," he promised, and I sensed that he was somewhat annoyed, but he was still gentle with me when he said, "Come now, it's time to go," then lifted me in his arms and headed for the door.

I remember feeling blissfully happy, then everything began to bleed into one another, and it all swirled so much that all I could do was giggle.


	34. Heero 33

It was my job to get Quatre ready once we had his clothes on. It wasn't easy, and I thought of asking master to come help several times, but I didn't want to seem inept. It was just that Quatre kept squirming in his seat, so it was difficult to do his make-up. It would have been harder had I been applying anything more than a little lip-gloss and eyeshadow, but master wasn't too worried about our appearances beyond our clothes. I honestly don't think he noticed the make-up I wore when we went to see the other masters, because he was surprised when I suggested putting some make-up on Quatre. He agreed readily, though, trusting me with his care.

Another master would have been more careful leaving a helpless slave in another slave's care, but the feeling of competition that existed under other masters had never arisen here. In another household, even I might have been tempted to scar Quatre's beautiful face, to assure my own place within the house. But there was no need for such fierceness here. I had quickly seen that Quatre would not take my place. He was beautiful, a prize no doubt, but he was so very different from me, and so weak from his rough treatment. Quatre had been accepted into the fold, and I had not been pushed out. In turn I accepted Quatre, and he accepted me in return. It had made master all the happier, and for that I was grateful.

It was Master's new slave that I worried about. Quatre had been injured when he arrived, so he had not been able to find a place above me, and had become my equal instead of my rival. I did not have the same hopes for the third addition to our house. With the scars on my back, there was no way I could compete for master's attentions if a more attractive, better trained rival were to show up. I would be pushed aside.

Something felt inherently wrong about doing Quatre's make-up in his semi-conscious state. More than that it was difficult, it was like painting a moving doll. When I looked into those light blue eyes, there was nothing of Quatre's earlier intelligence, or his feelings. The passion that Quatre had been able to protect for so long was gone, replaced by the superficial sweetness of the puppet that sat patiently in front of me, unaware of what was going on.

Once I was finished, Master came in and, after glancing at Quatre's face as an inspection, picked the light boy up and walked toward the door, muttering that it was time to go. I saw Quatre's eyes focus for a moment as Master spoke, but the drugs kicked in a second later and he was back to being doll-Quatre. I would have to keep a close eye on him, lest he hurt himself.

The dinner wasn't especially fancy. If it hadn't been for the half-dressed slaves beside every master, it would have seemed almost ordinary. The chairs at the table were strange, but common for Collar functions. It was more of a bench with a high back in the middle. The master would sit in the center of the bench as though it were a normal chair. Slaves would sit on either side, either sitting up or reclining into the master's lap or onto the soft cushions on the edge of chair.

Master had put Quatre down as we neared the restaurant, at my request. It would have seemed strange for a master to carry a slave around unless the master had recently done something to injure that slave, and then the master would only carry them back to the room. Quatre walked slowly, his head down as though he believed he had done something wrong. It was the drugs, and I knew it, but I still felt as though I should do something to help him. Master seemed to sense it, too, because he paused as we entered the room and made Quatre look at him.

"Smile for me," he asked gently, smiling softly at him. Quatre seemed confused for a moment, then gave Master a full-force grin. Master smiled in return, and I felt my own lips tilt up. Then the moment was gone, and Master was ushering Quatre into a seat, myself into the other side.

Master Marcel was on the other side of the table, and for the first time that night I was glad Quatre was drugged, so that he couldn't see the scathing look his former master shot him. Apparently, Master Marcel also remembered the deal he made with my master, and was now regretting it. Master was right for bringing Quatre along, if he wanted to get the other slave. Of course, Master caught this look and threw one back with twice the intensity, causing Master Marcel to look away quickly. He was not afraid of my Master, but he was not far from it. It did not help that Master had a hatred for the man that he barely managed to conceal, making his tone icy and civil when they spoke.

There were four other masters at the table besides Marcel. I recognized all of them from previous encounters with my other masters, but luckily none of them were my former masters. Beside Marcel sat a thin, cruel-looking master called The Duke. Slaves that were not his own never referred to him as Master Duke, and even his own slaves often called him The Duke. He was intimidating enough, even without the master title. There was a fairly new master named Master Jet, one of the few female masters named Madam Long, and Master Zephyr.

There were, of course, other slaves situated around the table as well, but all except one were looking down and never dared to raise their heads. Only the Chinese youth accompanying Madam Long dared to look my way, and I recognized him as our eyes met. He was not Madam Long's slave at all, but instead belonged to the Masters' Master, man called the Owner, the man who ran Collar. His slave name was Dragon, and he was famous among Collar participants because he was the only slave to take first place in four tournaments along with several second and third places. If he had managed to win top ten in one more event he would have won Collar alone, a feat that no other slave had even come close to. However, because he was the Owner's slave, he was never permitted to work with a team, and he was never sold.

No, Dragon's fate was much worse than that. The Owner had offered something of a bounty on his body. If any master could persuade Dragon to come to his bed willingly, he would automatically be given the honor and titled associated with winning Collar. If a master could break Dragon, he would learn the true name of the Owner, making him the most powerful master in Collar. So far, no one had been able to break Dragon, for Owner would not permit anyone to damage his slave, but Dragon was regularly "rented out" to interested master hoping to make a name for themselves. It seemed that Madam Long had decided to try her hand, but from her frown I could guess that she was having little luck. If rumors were true, Dragon was more than a handful.

"I hope I haven't kept everyone waiting," Master apologized to the group.

"Hm," purred Madam Long cruelly, "It allowed us all to make friends. Didn't it, Poppet?" she asked Dragon, who glared vehemently at the table as she uttered the name. From her expression and his, I could tell the neither of them had made friends.

"Don't let her scare you," said Master Jet, "She's just been having trouble with the Dragon. Seems she bit off more than she could chew when she took on Collar's naughtiest pet."

"He's not naughty," Madam Long Corrected with a frown, "He's high maintenance. The Owner spoils the brat, so that no other master can do anything with him!" she hissed, elbowing the slave in the ribs. Dragon remained unmoved, his eyes boring into the table.

"I give up," Madam Long sighed, "The boy just doesn't want to be happy," she said. It was a common tactic among masters, to make the slave blame themselves for any problem they had. It worked on slaves with low intelligence, but had little effect on those better trained. Dragon was indifferent, so Madam Long elbowed him again. He moved the slightest bit away from the blow, but otherwise ignored her. His eyes stared hard at the table, and he seemed to feel that someone was watching him, for he fidgeted just the slightest bit. When he finally looked up, it was not my eyes that he met, but eyes slightly above and behind me, which I could only assume were Master's. Something seemed to pass between them, but luckily I was the only one to notice. I another moment, they both looked away.

"If you can't handle him, you should have never taken him," Duke commented, blind to what had just transgressed.

"It's not my fault!" Madam Long defended, "The Owner's been away on business, and Mistress Ice doesn't have time to babysit him and train her own slaves. She just started breaking the little redhead, for goodness sake! She asked me if I could handle him for a while, I don't see any of you jumping at the offer," she hissed, glaring at the rest of the table. In honesty, most of the masters had given up attempting to get anywhere with Dragon. It had been more than two years since that proclamation, and yet no one had willingly managed to make him come to their bed and, though there was word that a few had made him go unwillingly, none had broken his spirit. No wise master training for Collar would be willing to take care of the Dragon while Owner was away.

"I'll take him."


	35. Heero 34

I want to find out where my (I flatter myself) fanbase is. If anyonw wouldn't mind, could you please give me the state that you live in when you review? I don't want names or addresses or anything like that, just a general area. Maybe an age is anyone's feeling brave, but you don't have to, obviously. And I really like reviews about the story, too. I'm 18, in Pennsylvania, if anyone cares.

"I'll take him."

I closed my eyes, trying to tell myself that the voice had not come from beside me.

"What?" Madam Long asked, narrowing her eyes.

"I said I'll take him," Master repeated, "If he's such a bother. After all, it's my first year. I'm really not so busy as the rest of you. He is the Owner's pet, isn't he?" Master asked.

A cold chill fell over me and I tugged on Master's sleeve. He glanced at me and our eyes met. His were calm, but I could see his mind working behind them. Somehow, Master had learned of the situation, and was well in control. I relaxed. Somehow, Master was always one step ahead.

"I suppose it'd be alright..." Madam Long said, hesitating, then resolving herself as she glanced down at Dragon, who remain still as stone and just as unfeeling. "No, I know it will be fine. I can have Mistress Ice draw up the papers next week, and I'll hand him over to you then." She stretched, smiling, and I could see the tension ease out of her. "I'm almost glad to have the weight off of my shoulders. I haven't seen my Sparrow all week, and I'm sure he's getting jealous."

"Are you sure you'll be able to handle him?" Master Zephyr asked. "After all, your little blonde pet doesn't seem to be doing all well."

"Oh, Kitten?" Master replied casually, "He was injured in a bet before I even got him," he said, glancing at Master Marcel with a very potent expression. "He's actually doing a lot better now. Angel's taken lovely care of him don't you think?"

Master Marcel blushed under Master's stare and turned away. In the same moment, Duke laughed.

"So this is the little pet I'm replacing, eh?" Duke chuckled, a cold grin on his face. "You really did a number on him, Marcel," Duke said.

"It's not my fault," Marcel replied angrily, "That little bitch's been a pain ever since I got him!" Master Marcel yelled and Quatre, suddenly aware of the man's presence, huddled down behind the table and buried himself in Master's coat, shivering. I saw Master react almost without thought, intending to lean down to Quatre, but stopped himself. He couldn't show such affection to one slave in front of the other masters. Instead, he casually placed a hand on Quatre's head to calm the boy, never turning his face from the table.

"You've scared him!" Master Zyphyr accused, pulling his own slave closer. The boy was tiny, even smaller than Quatre, with a dark complection and back hair. The boy willingly fell across his master's lap, pressing close, as few slaves would. The boy was either trying very hard to please his master, or cared for the master deeply.

"Don't get so upset," Duke chided, "Everyone knows the little ones have such a tendency toward crying. I'm sure if Marcel had dropped a fork it would have had the same effect."

"He's right, you know," Madam Long put in, smiling in fond remembrance, "Just last week I took a paddle to my little Sparrow and I'd barely gotten in two cracks before he was bawling at my knees," she said, smiling softly.

"What did you do?" Master Jet asked, leaning over the table with interest.

"Why, I finished the punishment, of course! You can't have a slave thinking they can get away with anything by simply crying. Then they'd never stop!" she laughed. "No, I finished the punishment and sent him to get a bath. When he came back out I told him to stop crying or he'd spend the night in his cage. He stopped, and when I woke up the next morning he was behaving like a prince. When a slave knows they can't get away with anything, they behave themselves."

"I see your point," Master purred, "but it's really not Kitten's fault. He wasn't feeling well today, and I gave him some drugs to quiet him. It seems to have had the opposite effect, though."

"You have to be very careful giving drugs to the little ones. A little goes a long way, with them," Duke commented.

"I can see that, now," Master laughed, rubbing Quatre's head as the boy ceased his crying. "Still, I'm sure I didn't give him enough to be dangerous."

"What's wrong with him, if I may ask?" Master Zypher questioned.

"The little pussy couldn't run the gauntlet, that's all," Master Marcel answered quickly.

"Injured in a gauntlet run?" Master Jet questioned, "I've never been in one, but I've heard they can be brutal. So the wounds are from a whip?" he asked. Master nodded, and I could see him restraining himself from glaring once again at Master Marcel. He was having much difficulty.

"Have you sent him to a doctor?" Master Zephyr asked. Master Zephyr seemed genuinely concerned about Quatre's well being, and I wondered how he could be a master and care so much.

"I haven't, no," responded Master. "I was hoping that we could avoid that, since I only have one other slave. Angel fixed him up fairly well, so I think he'll be alright."

"You should send him," the Duke interjected. "Granted, you can't just send them for any little thing, but a dead slave is still worth less than a missing slave. Besides, you can't do anything without him crying as it is, and you'll just waste your money drugging him," Duke commented sagely. "Trust me, once they're addicted a slave is completely useless. Most of them have to be put down, some even get dangerous. They say the Shinigami is addicted to Back 10-200."

"That's ridiculous," Madam Long huffed. "You know the Owner would never allow something so powerful on Collar. And who would buy it for him?"

Black 10-200 was a highly addictive enhancer that caused a person to go insane and attack anything close by. It also allowed the user to stay awake for long periods of time and raised strength, speed, and agility of the user with no affect on the intelligence level. It was nearly impossible to get, but it had several lesser counterparts that were readily available. The pills Quatre had been dosed with were from the same scale, but where Black was nearly at the top, Quatre's were nearly at the bottom.

"Shinigami?" Master questioned innocently and I frowned. I should have told him about the Shinigami, but I hadn't thought it would come up.

"Shinigami's something of a superstar around here," Master Jet said, "From what I heard about three years ago he won three of the hardest competitions in Collar alone. Then his master died and no one could get him to dance worth shit."

"Is that so?" Master asked. "What competitions did he compete in?"

"Only the big three," said Madam Long, "Erotica, Exotic Dance, and Specialty Pleasures."

"They all sound the same!" Master laughed.

"They're pretty close," Madam Long answered, sharing his amusement. "Erotica is the competitor and one other pet having sex in front of a panel of judges. Erotic dance is pretty much a strip tease. And Specialty Pleasures is a kink competition. It's almost the same as Erotica only with a kink added."

"Why are they called the big three?" Master wondered.

"Because they're the ones that everyone tried for," said Master Jet, "Anyone who owns a pet tries for those three, because they practice it so often. No one's ever even won first in two of them, let alone the three that Shinigami took."

"So he won Collar that year then?"

"Not even close," Master Marcel replied, "His master was a loser. The man only had three slaves, and the other two were crap. It screwed the whole team over."

"I don't understand," Master said, furrowing his eyebrows in confusion.

"It's like this," Master Zephyr put in, "Each master must have a team of four slaves or less. Each slave is allotted six events that they must compete in. Now, one slave could take eight events an another could take four, but it's very hard on the slaves to do that. However it falls, the team must compete in twenty-four events out of the thirty planned each year. If the team competes in less than twenty-four events it must take a last place for any event missed. The scores are tallied by places, so a last place really hurts the team, especially if almost a hundred people compete in that event."

"That's why Dragon's never won," Madam Long said. "Try as he might, he can never manage to take a good place in all twenty-four events. He's been close before, though, because he took four firsts and six seconds one year, but then he completely fell in the dance competition. Landed flat on his butt, he did," she said, smiling as Dragon blushed bright red. "Ever since then he's always bombed in the dance event. Just too much for the poor dear's tiny brain, I suppose."

"Whatever happened to this Shinigami?" Master asked, diverting the flow of conversation.

"Nobody could do anything with him," said Duke, "no matter how much they whipped him, he was just no good at anything. The next year he entered his highest placing was a twenty. For about two years since then he's been pawned from master to master, until a few months ago he was sold given back to the own because no one wanted him. He'll probably be on sale at the end of Collar, but because he got three firsts his price will be sky high, even though he's useless. If he doesn't sell this year, they'll put him down for sure. Good riddance, too."

"Someone'll buy him," Master Marcel argued, "There's always someone trying to make a name for himself by taming the legend. We just have to wait around and see who it is this year."

Conversation came to a sudden halt then, as the food arrived, but I certainly had enough to think about. Now, instead of having one new pet, I also had the Owner's slave to worry about.

Quatre had fallen asleep in Master's coat, so I rose to serve Master without hesitation, but my mind wasn't on my work. I was far to busy thinking about the repercussions of this night, and whether or not it would spell doom in the future.


	36. Zechs 35

Once back in the room, there was plenty of time to bang my head off the wall.

"Heero, what the hell did I just do?" I asked as Heero deposited the sleeping Quatre in the bedroom. I was glad the boy had slept through the most part of the meal, but his continued fatigue worried me. I wasn't sure if it was because of stress, or his wounds, or his health, but whatever the reason I knew it couldn't be good for him.

"I think you agreed to take in the Owner's slave, Master," Heero replied, coming back out.

"Yes, I know that, but why?" I wondered allowed, unsure myself of my sudden outburst. Only, looking into the boy's eyes as the woman, his master, childishly tormented him, seeing the pride and control that lay inside that hard shell, how could I leave him in the hands of that woman? Could I stand back and watch such a proud creature be constantly henpecked and reduced to nothing?

"Because it might get you closer ties to the Owner?" Heero replied and I stopped for a moment. I hadn't even thought of that. Then, a second later, I dismissed it, because there was still no guarantee that I would get to meet the Owner.

"No, because I'm stupid, that's why! How am I ever going to handle another boy?"

"It is only for a week..."

"But from what Madam Long said he's a terror! A nightmare! How am I supposed to control him?" I replied, almost panicked. What if I were wrong? What if what I had viewed as pride was really just pigheadedness and sloth? What then?

"I doubt he's uncontrollable. He's probably just strong-willed."

"So he's stubborn. That helps."

"Master, I doubt he could be any worse than I was when you first got me," Heero said, coming up beside me and putting his hand on my arm. "But I think we have bigger problems now."

"What is it?" I asked, immediately serious and focused. "What happened?"

"Quatre's medicine is wearing off. I think he might be sick," Heero replied, his head lowered. "It's probably nothing serious..."

I cut him off as I darted around him and rushed into the bedroom. Heero didn't know it, but any kind of fever in someone suffering from large wounds could be a sign of infection, which I had been concerned about anyway. Quatre's lowest wound was already red and inflamed, it would be no stretch to see it infected.

As I darted into the room, I prayed that Quatre was merely tired, but my hopes were in vain. Quatre's face was flushed, his cheeks red with fever. I stood over him for a moment, forcing myself to calm down, before I leaned over and put a gentle hand on his forehead.

He was burning up.

Slowly, his clear blue eyes opened up, only this time they were foggy and muddled with confusion. They closed again before he could force them to remain open, then, with great effort, he moved them to my face.

"Mas'er?" he slurred sleepily, "Di' th' party end a'eady?"

"Yes, little one. You slept right through it. Tell me, do you think you can turn over so I can look at your back?"

"'M tired. C'n we do it tom'rrow?"

"No, baby, we have to do it tonight. I'll help, alright?" I asked, and slowly began to turn the boy over. He nodded, but was very little help in moving himself. I was very much alarmed by this behavior. I knew that an infection could set in very quickly, but I had never seen it happen before. I was justifiably alarmed for Quatre's safety.

Once Quatre was turned over, I quickly pulled down the blankets to find that Heero had put him into pajamas. Ignoring this, I quickly pulled up the top of his clothes and pulled the tape off of the lowest wound, ignoring the other two. As I had feared, the wound was greatly inflamed, and was oozing a yellowish, sticky substance. I sighed and replaced the tape, leaving Quatre on his stomach as he drifted in and out of consciousness.

Heero met me in the doorway, worry etched into his face.

"Master?" he questioned anxiously. I sighed in response.

"Call the doctor. We've got to take Quatre to the hospital."

"Is it that bad?"

"I don't know, but it could be. I don't have the skills or equipment to fight an infection, Heero. I won't endanger Quatre over it, either. He'll get the best care in the hospital."

"Yes, Master."

"Could you make the call for me? I think a need a drink," I said, indicating the liquor cabinet in the livingroom.

"Of course," Heero replied, and quickly went to the kitchen area to make the call. I sighed again, poured myself a glass of sherry, and flopped into an armchair. I wasn't sure what was worse, my worry about Quatre's health or my worry about his stay in the hospital. If I weren't allowed to see him, then he would be truly alone for all that time. I knew that Quatre was a timid soul, and I had seen the tentative bonds he had been forming with Heero and myself. I worried that this long period of separation would destroy them. Quatre could feel abandoned, or neglected, and there was nothing I could do to fix it.


	37. Quatre 36

Tie-wearing chicka

I humbly request your E-mail (or sign in so I can contact you through I wanted to congratulate you on picking Trowa for the next one to come in. A lot of people weren't sure, or thought Duo would be up next.

Also, I wanted to thank everyone who answered my question about area and age. I was really amazed at how widespread we all are. Amazing! I really had no idea, but I guess that's what the internet's good for, right?

So, in gratitude for everyone who answered and because I felt bad about misleading some people to thinking Duo or Fei would come into the fold next, I just had to post more chapters. Unfortunately, I won't have any more to post until the end of the week, but I hope you all enjoy these in the meantime.

Arigatou gozaimasu!

I awoke to the shuffle of people moving around, and several voices speaking at once. Immediately I could tell that I was in master's bedroom, in my night clothes, in Master's bed. I had no idea why so many people were in master's home, but I was too tired and too cold to care. All I wanted was the blankets at the bottom of the bed, and those were proving hard to get. My arms were heavy, and as I was reaching to get the blanket, master came into the room looking stern and serious.

"Master?" I questioned, "What's wrong?"

He smiled for me, and came over to sit on the edge of the bed, but his eyes were still sad. "Nothing. How are you feeling?"

"I'm fine," I lied, and he smiled again.

"Liar. You look horrible."

"Thanks," I murmured sarcastically, hoping he would play, but he simply ignored the comment and placed a hand on my forehead. It was freezing and I couldn't help but shy away. That was when I realized what those voices outside meant to do.

"I have a fever again, don't I?" I asked miserably. Master nodded. "I'm sorry. I really tried to..."

"Shh. It's not you're fault. If it's anyone's fault, it's mine. I didn't take good enough care of you."

I burst into tears.

"That's not true! You were so good to me, and so kind, even though I'm useless! You took care of me even though I wasn't worth it! I was lucky to get to meet you and I should be grateful for the time we had together! And I am! It's my own stupid fault for getting sick! It's no wonder you can't take me anymore! Always in the way! Always a burden!" I sobbed, completely breaking down. I turned violently to the side in shame, hoping to hide my weakness.

"Quatre, what are you...?" master questioned, leaning over me, but was interrupted as a man barged through the door.

"Mister Marquis," he huffed arrogantly, "I am aware that you are used to getting your way, but threatening the boy is not going to change anything."

"I wasn't..." master protested calmly.

"I don't have time for this," the angry man in a white uniform interrupted. "Now are you going to let me take him or not?"

"No!" I screamed, throwing myself at master, who was stunned by my outburst. For a moment, I feared that he'd punish me for such disruptive behavior, then I decided it would be a blessing if he did. He would have to keep me to punish me, not send me away to the storehouse to wait for a cruel master or death.

"Please!" I begged, clutching his shirt in my hands to keep from toppling over as I leaned on him, "please don't send me away! I promise! I'll be good!" I shouted, clinging to master as though I could hold myself to him.

"Quatre!" master snapped, taking me by the shoulder and shaking me, "Calm down! What are you talking about?"

But I was too far gone to listen. Instead, I continued to try to convince him to keep me, even as my sob grew strong and my face grew damp. "There are th-things I c-can d-do even now! I can h-help you! I can- I can- I-I c-c-can-" I stuttered, forgetting to breath in my panic. I heaved my chest, trying to make up for the lack of air, but it wouldn't come to me.

"He's hyperventilating!" the man in white shouted, rushing toward me. I let out an animalistic sound and shied behind master, hoping to hide from the other man.

"Stop it!" master growled, shielding me with his body, "You're not helping!"

"Damnit!" the other man shouted, "You'll kill him!"

"Just shut the hell up and get out!" master shouted, glaring at the other man, "Can't you see I'm not hurting him? If you're not going to get out of my way get out!" he snapped, then turned his attention to me. I looked up at him with fearful eyes as my vision started graying around the edges.

"Quatre," he said calmly, his voice echoing through my world, silencing everything else as he moved me into his lap and sat on the bed. "Listen to me," he murmured softly against my ear. It was difficult to turn my attention to him, as I was still wheezing for breath, but I did so, because I would have done anything he asked me at that moment so long as he didn't send me away. "Listen to the sound of my heart," he said, pulling my head to rest against his chest. The beats were soft and rhythmic, if a little quickened. "Now, I want you to breathe with me. Just forget everything else except for me. Now take it in. Feel it? Feel my chest rising? I want you to make yours do the same. Good. Now out. Slowly. Good. Now in again. Shh. It's alright. Out. It's alright, stop crying."

Only as he said it did I realize that the tears were still flowing freely from my eyes, and I struggled for a moment to hold them in.

"Stop, never mind," master said quickly, pulling my hands from my face. "I didn't mean to make yourself stop crying, I just meant that you didn't need to cry. Everything's alright. You're not in trouble."

"Th-then w-why are you s-sending me away?" I asked, still crying softly.

"You need to go away, baby. I can't take care something like this."

"Kitten, I'm Dr. Hutch," the man in the white coat said, kneeling beside us. "I'd like you to come with me, if that's alright." I had forgotten he was in the room. Suddenly, when he said his title, everything fell into place. I wasn't being sold, I was being taken to the hospital. But, still, I was scared. The hospital was lonely and cold, and I didn't want to leave master.

"I thought you were taking care of me?" I asked master, ignoring Dr. Hutch.

"I can't fix this, little one. Your wound is infected, and there are too many things that could go wrong for me to keep you here. You won't be gone long, I promise."

"But I don't want to leave you," I pleaded, looking my master in the eye, hoping he wouldn't make me go.

"Masters are forbidden in the hospital," Dr. hutch interrupted. "But, I suppose... if you would like, the other slave could come visit you for an hour or so every day. What was his name? Angel?" the doctor asked, smiling kindly at me. "I know how slaves get lonely in the hospital. If your master would allow it, I think we could make it happen."

It wasn't master, but it was enough. I turned pleading eyes toward master, hoping he would allow it.

"Of course it's fine with me, as long as you behave yourself and get better. Now, I think we've held Dr. Hutch up long enough. He's got other patients to see," master said, lifting me in his arms as he left the room. Out of the bedroom, there was a wheeled hospital bed waiting, along with tow orderlies to push it. The pulled back the covers as master tucked me into the bed, then belted me down after I was inside. I felt a little claustrophobic, being tied down like that, but I knew that it was simply so I didn't fall out.

Before we left, I saw Dr. Hutch pull master aside.

"I think, perhaps, I underestimated you," he admitted, looking my master in the eyes. "I'm so used to having violent, over powerful children who have broken their toys call me that I've forgotten how real people act. I hope you can forgive me, and understand why I must separate the two of you."

"I do, and I thank you. If you take as good care of him as I think you will, we will have no further problems."

"I don't..." Dr. hutch began, but I was already being wheeled out of the room and missed the rest of the conversation. I tried to turn around for a moment, but I was just so tired that it didn't seem worth the effort.


	38. Zechs 37

"I don't understand why you would treat the boy so poorly if you care for him," Dr. Hutch said as Quatre was wheeled out the door.

"I don't understand why you would work in this place if you obviously despise it so," I replied, watching Quatre try to turn around before eventually giving up.

"Of course you know why I work here. The pay is good, and I had no other choice. But you, you're rich and young. I just can't see why you'd get into this sort of thing."

"Money isn't everything," I replied. "Sometimes, to keep the wealth one has become accustomed to, one must gain prestige. That's what I'm here for."

"I see," Dr. Hutch replied, his face showing great thought. "I suppose I can't blame you. I'm no better myself. I only wish things could be different for these boys. They're so very young," he said sadly, walking out the door.

"Don't worry," I whispered at his back, "things will change soon enough."

It was much later that night, or earlier the next morning I suppose, that I finally managed to settle my nerves. Heero had hidden in the slaves quarters when the doctor and his assistant had arrived, for he was still afraid of crowds and loud voices. He had only timidly appeared later, when they were gone, and he was still on edge, so I sent him to get a bath.

With Quatre gone and Heero out of the room, the room suddenly seemed large and bare, almost echoing, so filled with empty space. I allowed myself to fall into the armchair, the stress from the earlier situation finally hitting me in full. I placed a hand on my head, and simply tried to let my mind wander.

The shower turned off a few minutes later, and Heero approached a few minutes after that, his hair still wet, dressed in his sleeping clothes. I could tell from his movements that he was concerned for me.

"Master?" he questioned, "What are you doing?"

"Just thinking," I said, leaning back in the chair. Heero took this as an invitation, and curled up on my lap, putting his head, and wet hair, against my chest.

"About what?"

"Scores," I told him with a smile, "I'm trying to tally everything in my head."

"I don't understand."

"Well, you see, first I got you, so that's a plus one, right?" I explained, "But then you ran away, so that's a minus one. Only I found you again, so thats another plus one. Then I got Quatre, but he was hurt, so that's a plus one half. But I was promised another slave, so that's another one half, I think, until I actually get him. Then I lost Quatre, which is a minus one. Then I promised to take Dragon, which I can't decide if it's a plus or a minus, but it's something. So I guess I'm just trying to figure out of I've gained, lost, or broke even so far. Either way it doesn't seem that any of my choices have been right lately. And I still don't know what you were angry with me for, but I'm sure that's another minus and I just don't think I can take that tonight so we'll just have to worry about it tomorrow. I don't know, I guess I'm just feeling low," I finished lamely, stroking Heero's back as he listened silently. "I suppose we should get to bed. We have several parties tomorrow, don't we? And I'm sure you'll be called to see Quatre. Come on, then, let's get you to bed," I coaxed, simply lifting Heero from the chair and carrying him to bed instead of making us both get up.

"Master," Heero called hesitantly from the bed as I was dressing, "I just want you to know that... if you were really making all these bad choices, I'm sure Quatre wouldn't have fought so hard to stay like that. I don't know what the score is, but I know that you're ahead by a lot. I wish you could understand how grateful we are to be with you," he said, his eyes never leaving the blanket that he fidgeted in his hands. I smiled softly at him and climbed into bed, spooning up against him.

"And I wish you could know how much I'd like to give you. Someday, I'll show you all the good things you've missed out on in this dreadful place. I promise you."

To seal the promise, I gave Heero a deep kiss, then pulled him onto my chest and slowly dosed away, completely content.


	39. Zechs 38

The next day was busy for Heero and boring for me. Heero was up early, trying to get his workout in so that he would be ready if the doctor allowed him to come. Which the doctor did, sending a messenger with a note saying that Quatre was doing better but would probably need to stay for several days for observation until they were sure the infection was gone. The doctor also said that Quatre had been asking for company, a comment which had Heero bolting for the door. I had watched the friendship bloomed and I was only just beginning to realize just how few friendships, not alliances, were allowed in Collar. I knew just how tenacious Heero could be, and was certain that he would be at the hospital the minutes they allowed and would not return until they kicked him out.

Though I missed Heero, I soon realized that it was for the best. Later that day the Duke sent me an invitation to his party, reminding me that I needed to come pick up my new slave. I wasn't sure how Heero or Quatre would react to having another face in the apartment, so I decided it would be best to go alone, while Heero was out.

The Duke's party was not as... inventive as Scrub's had been. There were plenty of naked or almost naked slaves present at this party, but there didn't seem to be an actual theme to the gathering, other than lust and decadence. I was dressed in a Victorian suit, which fit in quite naturally with the lush carpets and dark draperies that hung around the large room. Two or three masters would gather on a couch with six or seven slaves gathered around them, bending to their will. The Duke's slaves, as it was his party, were all dressed in a similar fashion.

"Alone tonight I see," Duke said, coming up behind me, a young Asian boy on his arm.

"Yes," I replied, unperturbed, "I didn't want the other two to influence my choice."

_Removed for content._

Once my drink was in hand, I made my way to the stage. I chose one of the benches lined up along the wall instead of one of the small french tables in front of the stage where the night's entertainment would be performed because I was feeling a little like an outsider and because I didn't want to seem lonely or antisocial. I needn't have worried, though. Immediately upon sitting down two of the Duke's slaves knelt before me.

"May we join you, Master Zechs?" they asked. Surprised, I nodded, and the two fluidly rose and gracefully sat beside me, their legs pressing up against mine. The one who had spoke, a blue-eyed boy with a lithe figure and light brown hair or about shoulder length, smiled at me. I think he was trying to be seductive, but there was something in his eyes, the nervousness of a hidden purpose, which made the smile come off as less than appealing.

The other boy was taller with darker brown hair that fell to conceal all but one deep green eye. He did not speak, nor did he look me directly in the eye. At first I thought he might be contemplating leaving, but I soon saw from the way he held his arms close to his body, making himself as small as possible, that he was merely shy. He was slim, with long legs, and looked athletic from the tone of his upper body and shoulders. The most noticeable thing about him, however, was that he was pierced everywhere. Everywhere! There must have been two hundred of them! As far as I could make out, there were none on his face, but there were enough to create patterns on his chest and stomach, all the way down to his thighs. Before I could get a better look, however, the other slave spoke.

"My name is Weave," said the smaller one. "I hope you don't think me too bold, but I wanted to come see you. The Duke said you might be taking one of us and I wanted to meet you first."

I was about to reply, when an offended growl came from behind the bench. I turned around to see an angry slave, brown eyed with chocolate hair and a delicate build, glaring at the two slaves the sat with me. Beside him was a fair-skinned slave with blue eyes and honey-colored hair.

"Weave!" the slave snapped, "That's cheating. You can't just walk up to a potential buyer and start talking yourself up," the slave complained.

"You're just mad you didn't get here first," Weave protested, glaring at the other slave, "Don't tell me that's not what you were coming over for."

"You just can't let anyone..." the other hissed, and I decided it was time to put a stop to it.

"Gentlemen," I said in a commanding tone. The arguing stopped and all eyes turned to me. "If you please, let us move to the table. I'm not certain what you're here for, but if you move to the table I'll be able to much more clearly hear you out."

With that, I rose and walked to the nearest table, taking a long drink from my glass. I wondered if I could send one of the slaves to get me another, or if only their master was allowed to do that.

There was a flurry of movement behind me and, as I sat down, the two louder slaves sat on either side of me. The honey-haired slave sat quickly beside the brown-eyed slave, leaving the slave that had come with Weave to pull up a chair. He did so, his eyes constantly downcast, but I watched the muscles of his back play as he moved the chair, and I could see the athletic skill hidden inside the tall body. The others were not nearly so toned, instead trying to be slim and graceful. Not that the tall boy lacked for grace, simply that the others had a flowing, natural grace, and his was more catlike and practiced.

"My name is Jaz," said the other loud boy.

"I'm Honey," said the soft-spoken boy with honey-colored hair.

"An apt name," I said and he blushed prettily. "And you?" I said, turning to the tall, withdrawn boy at the other end of the table.

"Nanashi," he said quietly, but his thick baritone was pleasing to the ear. Still, I frowned.

"Nanashi?" I questioned, "I haven't heard that name before."

"It means no name," Jaz interjected helpfully. "He came with the name, and the Duke simply decided it was too much trouble to give him a new name. Besides, Nana has a hard time remembering things, and he was already used to that name."

"I see," I said, not liking the way in which these boys spoke of the quiet slave. I hadn't seen anything yet to lead me to believe he was slow, but I hadn't known him all that long. I certainly didn't want a slave that wasn't intelligent, but I was also wary of trusting what the boys said. "So, if you don't mind my asking, why are you four here?"

"You're planning on taking one of the Dukes slaves with you, right?" asked Weave, "Well, we're the only slaves he'd be willing to part with, so it's going to be one of us. We just wanted to let you know about us."

"Ah. I see. Well, I'm glad you boys took all the trouble of coming to see me. So, what can you tell me about yourself, Weave?"

"Well," the boy said, a proud smile on his face, "I've practiced piano for four years, and other master's are always saying how well I play. I can dance and I make a delicious chicken teriyaki. I can clean and give back-rubs. I can help you at home or you could train me for Collar. I'm very versatile."

"That's wonderful. I would love to hear you play sometime," I said, and the boy preened. "Now, Jaz, I'd like to hear more about you."

"I play the guitar, sing, and dance. Unlike other slaves who can only cook one decent dish, I'm a great cook. I love to talk to people and I've been told that my singing could be good enough for Collar."

"Sometimes he talks too much, though," Weave said, glaring at Jaz for the barely concealed insults. I repressed the urge to sigh. Did I have to pick any of them?

"What about you, Honey?"

"Well, I am trained in cooking and one of my dishes placed top twenty in Collar."

"You mean twentieth," Jaz interjected. Honey glared, which surprised me, because I had previously assumed that he was ver shy.

"That's better than either of you. You've never even been trained for Collar, let alone completed," he growled. That got all three of them glaring at the other, with Nanashi being the only one to abstain from the conversation. If his intelligence hadn't already been pinned as low, I would have thought he was the smartest of the group. "Besides, I would have placed higher if the master had continued my training," he protested, "but the Duke was so busy with his new pet that I was pushed aside," he said, glaring hotly at Nanashi. I was starting to see the bigger picture, as dark and ugly as it was. "Anyway, I can also clean and I do great foot massages. I play the harp and I can recite poetry."

"Lovely," I complemented. Then, my curiosity piqued, I turned to Nanashi. "And what do you do?"

"My skill are basic," he admitted quietly, a cloud of gloom hanging over his head. "I was an acrobat for a time," he told me, "and now I am able only to please my master to the best of my ability."

"Why are you no longer an acrobat?" I questioned. His eyes were far away and masked, as Heero's had been.

"My rings would get stuck on the mats or twist in my body," he admitted. I allowed my eyes to flow down his body, truly seeing his rings for the first time. _Removed for content._


	40. Zechs 39

This one's for you, Leaking Fire. Thanks for the reviews. I'm glad you like it. Good luck on your exams.

I soon had the opportunity to ask, as the Duke marched up, glaring at his slaves.

"What are you four doing here?" he growled, glaring down at the slaves. The three of the four suddenly looked terrified and lowered their heads, with the exception of Nanashi, whose head was already lowered but did not look overly afraid, only passive and accepting. Again he reminded me of Heero as I had first brought him home, accepting and removed from everything that happened.

"It was Nanashi's idea!" Weave suddenly protested. The other two nodded their heads in agreement, while Nanashi simply kept his head down. "We just wanted to make sure he didn't embarrass you."

"Is that so," Duke asked, glaring down at the boy.

"I hope I'm not overstepping my bounds," I suddenly interjected despite myself. "But I think the responsibility falls equally among them," I said, garnering angry looks from the three more expressive slaves, "but despite whatever they may have done, I must say I was most enjoying their conversation. Surely you won't begrudge me that?" I purred, speaking in the same manner I would at a political conference.

"My friend, I would not begrudge you anything, but these four well knew that they were not to see you until after the show, and then only to choose," he said, then moved his eyes to Nanashi, "So that they might all have a fair chance to win."

I could see his game now. He, also, was hoping to rid himself of what he considered to be an ill performing slave. It made me unsure of Nanashi, but likewise I was unsure of the other three. While they were all talented and pleasant, they seemed somewhat forward, pushy, and shallow. I knew that I had to consider how the two other slaves would react to them, and how they would fit into the dynamics or our home.

"Also, they have other guests to wait on. I cannot allow four of my slaves to be lazy while the others work."

"I'm sure an interview will not change their chances so much. And certainly you can spare one slave from the night's chores."

"I suppose so."

"Then perhaps I can entreat you to allow me an interview with each, so that I will only take up one at a time? It would make the judging process that much easier, for they are all so beautiful and so well behaved," I said, complementing both the slaves and master.

"I will allow it, but only half an hour for each. Then you will have an hour to deliberate before you must make your final choice."

"Fair enough. Jaz can go first, then Honey, then Weave, then Nanshi. And, boys, I expect you to be on your best behavior, and that I am still your master, so do not attempt anything you don't have permission for."

"Yes, master," the three said sullenly. Only Nanshi was silent, staring at the table.

"Nanashi?" the Duke growled, using the boy's hair to force his head back.

"Ah..." he gasped, shaking slightly, "Yes, master," he whispered, his eyes wide and frightened. The Duke released him and nodded to himself. "Now, the rest of you, get back to work."

The three boys scurried off to work, Nanashi scurrying less energetically than the rest, and I was alone with Jaz, who smiled brightly at me.

"So," I said casually, "tell me about your singing."

Instead of telling me, Jaz lead me down the hall to a small kareoke room, where he performed several songs for me. He was decent, but no where near ready to compete in anything. His voice was nice, but his range was limited, and there was nothing truly memorable about his voice. Also, he took praise well enough, but when I suggested that he stand straighter to improve his breathing, he was highly offended, though he tried to conceal it. When he wasn't singing, he asked me many questions about myself, my work, and my home, but he barely asked anything about the other slaves.

Once Jaz was gone it was Honey's turn, and he insisted that we move to the buffet, where he served me all of the dishes he had made and watched me eat them as he railed against the difficulties of using substandard equipment as he had been forced to. The food was good, but certainly not gourmet. The boy certainly had some talent, but there was not enough natural talent to make up for his limited training. When not talking about food or cooking, Honey asked many questions about my slaves, but I often caught a tone in his voice that told me he was searching for a flaw or weakness in them, even before he had met them. Had I been able to convince myself strongly that he was indeed searching for flaws and it was not just my imagination, I would have written him off completely. Despite this not being the case, I was still leery of taking him in.

Weave, despite my dislike of the other two, was the worst of the three. And, while I must attribute some of this to the headache I felt growing behind my eyes, much of it fell into that foul spewing mouth of his. The only time Weave was quiet was when he played piano, which he insisted on doing, and then only because he had to concentrate on the notes to keep from playing wrong. There was no natural flow or grace to his fingers, and his brow furrowed unbecomingly as he played. Once he was finished playing, he began to harp on the flaws of the others, saying that he simply liked me so much he didn't want me to settle for a lesser slave. He repeated over and over how much he liked the other slaves and how much he tried to help them only before pointing out some terrible flaw or grievous error they had made. At least the other two had shown more tact, and I was glad to be rid of Weave. For my own sanity, I would not be taking the pushy loudmouth.

It was with a sort of dread that I greeted my next interview. Though Nanashi had been quiet before, I feared that he would suddenly learn how to sing Opera or play the drums or some other activity that caused my already pounding headache to jolt. However, despite my nightmarish predictions, Nanashi was quiet and demure as he approached me.

"Please follow me," he said, then lead me away from the noisy party.


	41. Zechs 40

I was not surprised to see Nanashi leading me into a room, however I was surprised at the room he lead me to. I wasn't quite certain if it was actually a small library or a large study, but either way the room was very quiet and somewhat dim, as a fire burning in the hearth cast and a pair of lights on the wall cast the only light in the room. And, there, on the table beside one of the deep red plush chairs, I saw something that almost made me cry.

Aspirin.

"You seemed to be getting a headache, Master Zechs," Nanashi admitted in his quiet tone, "So I took the liberty of bringing these. I hope it does not offend you."

"I have never been less offended in my life," I said, quickly taking two of them with a glass of water that had been sitting next to the two pills on the silver tray. When I turned around, there was a small, ghost of a smile playing upon his lips, but it quickly flitted away when he saw me watching and his face returned to its passive state.

I motioned for the slave to be seated as I sat on one of the plush couches in the room. In a very slave-like manner, he seated himself on the floor at my knees instead of on the couch. His head was lowered, his hands passively in front of him, awaiting a command.

I couldn't stand it.

"For goodness sake, sit on the couch. I'm not your master," I snapped, then regretted it as the boy flinched, then quickly rose to sit as far away from me on the couch as he could. I sighed, when would I ever learn to hold my tongue?

We sat in silence for some time, Nanashi staring at his hands and I nursing my glass of water, wishing it was something stronger but doubting that would be a good idea. I sighed again and Nanashi finally worked up the courage to speak.

"Master Zechs? You seem tense. I could rub your shoulders, if you'd like," he said, then left it at that, never looking up. I looked at him for a moment, but with his bangs hiding his face I could not read him, so I nodded instead, shrugged off my coat, and turned around.

Despite the fact that he had not mentioned this skill in our previous meeting, his hands were very strong and adept at relaxing muscles. I couldn't help but hum in appreciation as his strong hands steadily released the tension from my body.

About three minutes into the massage, I realized that I had not spoken to the boy, and I would not be able to decide his character if I did not speak to him.

"Do you like the library?" I asked the quiet boy.

"It is calm and peaceful. I like the smell," he said after a brief hesitation.

"Do you read often?"

"I do not read at all."

"A pity. Reading is one of the few great pleasures in life. But perhaps you read before you came to be owned by the Duke?" I asked. There was a pregnant silence behind me as the boy's hands stopped their movement.

"Master," his voice came, soft and pained, "I cannot read."

I almost wrote him off then. So close I came to closing my mind against him for this simple admittance. But he had been brave enough to admit it to me, when he obviously thought it would provoke censure, and for that alone I could not put him aside so quickly.

Questions poured through my head. Why? What kind of schooling had he had? What kind of childhood, in this day, could raise an illiterate child? Even in the very worst parts of the world, the illiteracy rate was never higher than ten percent. So where had he come from? Was he truly daft?

I wanted to ask these questions, but I could feel the tiny tremors running through the boys hands and I knew that, because he was owned by someone else, I would not be permitted to comfort him. So, as the subject obviously troubled him so much, I decided to put it aside for the time being.

"Someday, perhaps, I will ask you more on the subject, but for today let us find another topic of interest."

I could almost hear the sigh of relief from behind me. Nanashi continued the massage more confidently and it was quiet for a few moments, then he hesitantly spoke.

"Could you tell me... of your other slaves? You have two?"

"Yes. Angel and Kitten."

"What are they like?"

"They're both somewhat shy. Kitten is skittish, but he has the brightest smile. Angel is very reserved, but he's also very loyal."

"Do they fight often?"

"No, never. They're very close."

"Oh," he said, but it sounded almost sad. For a minute, I couldn't understand why, then I remembered how the other tow pairs of slaves had tag-teamed him and it was easy to figure out what he had assumed.

"Nanashi," I said, taking his wrist and turning around, "I can't guarantee that I have perfect slaves, but I will assure you that neither Angel nor Kitten will ever act like that. I don't condone deceit," I said strongly. I would have liked to look into the boy's eyes, but he had lowered them again when I turned around.

"It..." he said, then hesitated. "It is not deceit, what they are doing. The lines have been drawn and the rules set forth. I am simply too tired to play their game. Or too stupid," he said, his voice self-mocking.

I could not help but place my hand on his chin and push his head up. I wanted to see into his eyes, for he was an enigma of paradoxes. Unable to read but able to read people. Barely able to speak but saying more than the other three combined.

When I raised his head, Nanashi still would not look at me. His hair covered one eye, which I thought was a shame, because the eye that I could see was a beautiful emerald green. Deciding this, I pushed his bangs away from his face, so that I could see both eyes. Still he would not look at me, instead diverting his eyes to look at the floor.

"Nanashi, look at me."

His eyes moved, but they unfocused before reaching mine. He had put a wall between us, so that he was not more looking at me then than he had been when looking at the floor.

"Nanashi, look at me."

This time, with the repetition of the direct order, he could do nothing but look into my eyes, allowing me to see through his eyes and into his soul. It seemed almost shameful, like peaking through a neighbor's window. Still, I gazed deeply taking in everything I saw. There was an intelligence inside him, but it was deep and hidden. He was wise beyond his years and there was a pain to match inside his soul. He was afraid, but there was as much a fear for everything outside as there was for that within, and I could tell that he was as much afraid of failing his master as he was afraid of failing himself. So he didn't try, choosing instead to hover in this limb. Always reaching, never touching.

I broke eye contact when I knew I could take no more, and found myself mimicking Nanashi in staring at my hands. Nanashi was panting slightly, shaken from the ordeal.

"Thank you," I said after a few moments had passed.

"I-it is time for me to go," Nanashi stuttered, and I looked at the clock to see that there was only a few minutes left in our meeting. I decided it would be best to let the boy go instead of scaring him any more, so I nodded. Nanashi dropped to the floor, kneeling in supplication, then practically ran for the door.

It would not be hard to decide which slave to take.


	42. Zechs 41

This one's for Mikizuki Tsukiharu. Sorry I'm a little late. Thanks for your input.

I spent the next hour watching performances and such on the stage. The other three slaves stopped by often to refill my drink or ask how everything was, but Nanashi did not come to me. The one time I did see him he immediately ducked into another room, so I could only assume that he was hiding from me. It worried me a bit, but I knew there would be better times to sort it all out.

I was watching the end of a song and dance performance when the Duke found me.

"Have you made up your mind?" he asked. Then, without letting me answer, he continued, "I'll line the slaves up one last time so you can have a look at them."

I nodded and followed him, feeling it would be easier to go along with it than to tell him that my mind had already been made up.

The Duke led me to an empty wing of the complex that I had previously not seen before and I had just enough time to wonder how he had managed to obtain such a huge space before the slaves filed in and lined up, all but one staring coyly at me. I'm sure it would only take one guess to figure who stared directly at the floor the entire time.

"Well, which one of my four lovely slaves will you be taking home with you tonight? Weave, Jaz, Honey, or Nanashi?" the Duke asked. I felt that I would have to make my response appropriate or risk hurting the slaves feelings. I was fairly certain that the slaves would not easily forget being spurned. Well, again, all but one.

"I must say, they are all quite beautiful and charming. Jaz has the most delightful voice I've had the pleasure to hear in some time. Honey treated me to dishes that make gourmet food pale in comparison. Weave can play the piano well enough to be in a grand hall. And Nanashi, though quiet, has proven himself to be both perceptive and kind. I would be proud to own any of these slaves, however, I would not steal but one from you, or risk losing a valuable friend. So, in choosing my new slave, I must think first of the two slaves I already own, for I would not add to my worries by acquiring slaves who cannot tolerate each other. Because of this, I choose Nanashi."

There was a stunned silence, both from the three un-chosen slaves, the Duke standing next to me, and most of all from Nanashi himself. He had frozen when I said his name, but I watched him slowly thaw despite his disbelief, and tentatively raise his head so that his eyes could meet mine. There was confusion there, and fear, but I could see a sparkle, not perhaps of hope, but of a longing to belong that was rekindled by my decision. A hope of hoping to belong, I suppose.

"Are you sure?" the Duke asked, breaking the spell. Nanashi's head dropped back down as the other three slaves looked at each other in startled outrage.

"Quite sure, actually. I think he would perfectly compliment the personalities of my other two slaves."

"Well," he said, smiling at me, "I suppose all that's left is to let you try him out."

"Try him out?"

"Of course. You wouldn't buy a car without driving it first, would you? That's why bets are so idiotic when they're done spur of the moment, you can never tell what you'll get. This way you can have time to look the boy over, see if there are any defects or abnormalities. I wouldn't want to be accused of giving you a lemon," he finished causally, as though I were buying furniture from him.

"No. I suppose not," I replied, somewhat stunned by this sudden proposal. Did he really expect me to just take the boy, right there on the floor, like his other two slaves had?

"Of course I'll give you a room to use. If you have any time between taking him you can talk to the boy, if you think he'll respond, and get to know him a little better. You can have him for the rest of the night, then simply leave him with me and come back for him tomorrow. He'll need to alert the other slaves as to what chores they need to take over, of course."

"Of course," I responded, though I was only half listening. It had taken me almost a week to take Heero, and I had yet to take Quatre, for obvious reasons. I wasn't certain that I would be able to simply take this beautiful boy whom I had only known for a few short hours. Could I bring myself to use him like a common street whore? But, if I did not, I might blow my cover, and then I would have no chance of shutting this filthy practice down. Still, I was not certain I would ever be able to wash the stain of this from my soul.

And the Duke instructed Nanashi to lead me to our room, and we were suddenly alone.


	43. Zechs 42

Nanashi would not look at me when we entered the room, which I later realized was lavishly decorated in Victorian style, but at the time I only noticed the romantic fire lighting the dim room and the huge, heavy bed covered in red sating sheets and blankets.

_Removed for content._

And so I condemned both myself and Nanashi to a night of torment, and could only hope to make it somewhat enjoyable for him. I felt vaguely nauseous, and would be happy merely to escape the night without vomiting.

Taking a deep breath to calm myself, I reached out and touched Nanashi's shoulder. My fingers grazed one of his rings and he flinched away from the touch. Nervous or repulsed, I couldn't tell, and I wasn't really sure it mattered. I sighed loudly.

_Removed for content._.

"Yes, Master Zechs," he said, lowering his head and backing away.

I repressed a sigh as I noticed a bottle of brandy, and promptly made my way to it. It had been laid out just recently, as the ice had not begun to melt, but with no idea how many occupants would be using the room, for there were several glasses on the tray. After a moment's hesitation, I filled two glasses, though mine was significantly fuller than the second, then turned and offered one of the glasses to Nanashi. He took it, but only stared at it, so that I began to regret my decision.

"You don't have to drink it," I offered as he continued to stare at the glass.

"I am allowed?" he asked, never moving his eyes.

"I thought it might... allow you to relax."

"But I am allowed to drink it?"

"Yes, as long as the Duke doesn't have any rules against it," I said. The boy shook his head, then promptly downed the contents of the glass in a single gulp. It was bound to burn, but not an ounce of pain showed on his face and I was as impressed as I was concerned. It was impressive that the boy should have such a poker-face, but it worried me how well he could hide his emotions.

"You know, you don't have to be so hidden now," I told him, "There's no one here who will harm you."

"I am sorry, Master Zechs."

"It's alright, but things will go more smoothly if you relax," I told him. His face was troubled and I worried that I was simply upsetting him more instead of calming his nerves.

"I am not used to freely expressing myself. Please, I am not trying to disobey you..." he said, visibly upset. I was not confused to why this time. Masters at Collar had shown a preference for emotional slaves, as long as those emotions were lust and affection. So a slave who was unable to fake these emotions, let a lone a slave who was unable to show any emotion at all, would not be highly prized at Collar. To Nanashi, this was the final test as to whether or not I would take him away from the Duke's three harpies. It must have been at the forefront of his mind, that if he failed me he would return, not only to the henpecking of the other slaves, but also the wrath of the Duke for failing to please me. Until he was mine, there would be no relaxing for either of us.

I took the glass from the boy's hand, turning to fill it so that I would not have to look at him. I was angry and frustrated with the situation, and with myself for not being able to stop it sooner, but I did not want the boy to think that my anger was directed at him. I filled the glass half way, then paused, thinking that it would not do to get the boy drunk. I reconsidered a moment later, however, for what did it matter if the boy was drunk or not? Perhaps if he were drunk he could more easily put this night from his mind, for I doubted he would find much pleasure in it.

I handed the now full glass of brandy to the boy with a command to drink it. I hadn't paused to think of how the command would be interpreted and almost dropped my own glass as the boy proceeded to chug the fiery liquid.

"Not all at once!" I snapped, taking the glass back from the boy. He released it to me readily enough as he hunched over, falling to his knees, and made a small choking sound, covering his mouth with the back of his hand.

"Are you alright?" I asked him as he continued to hold his mouth. Not that I blamed him. The brandy was powerful and even I, who had been capable of drinking like a sailor in my younger days, had been a little overwhelmed by its potency.

The boy nodded from his place on the floor, but continued to cough. I finished my own glass of brandy, then placed both glasses on the tray. I would not ask the boy to drink any more, he had taken enough, and I did not want to risk a repeat performance. It didn't seem like I could do anything right with him.

_Removed for content._


	44. Zechs 43

_Removed for content._

Once out of the room, I found that the Duke had left a slave that I did not recognize to fetch Nanashi, as he had already retired for the night. I allowed him to lead Nanashi away and began to return to my own abode, exhausted from my earlier exploits. Once home, I barely had the energy to change, and probably would have fallen into bed naked if Heero hadn't been there. The boy probably thought I was drunk and delirious when, as he crawled into bed next to me, I grabbed his wrist and suddenly ordered that he pick up wire-cutters the next time he was out. Surprised as he was, he instantly nodded and I had no doubt that he would get them, I just hoped that I remembered I had asked for them.


	45. Trowa 44

I was warmer after Master Zechs left. He had been gentle, despite his thoughts to the contrary, and I was left with a warm afterglow that did not dissipate as I saw Star, another of the Duke's slaves, who had come to meet us instead. It stayed with me as Master Zechs hurried home to his other slaves and up until the point where the other three cast-away slaves of the Duke met me at the door to the slaves' quarters. Since we all slept in the same room, I wasn't surprised to see them, but the vicious glares they gave me were an unwelcome surprise.

I hadn't thought so far ahead. I had been too surprised by Master Zechs choosing me to think of more than what would happen to me. I hadn't dreamed that I would be chosen, so it came as a complete surprise.

Honestly, I wasn't sure I wanted to be chosen. Though life with the Duke and the other slaves was like living in purgatory, there was nothing to assure me that living with Master Zechs wouldn't be hell. He was kind and gentle with me, who was merely an uneducated save, which told me that he probably wanted something very badly, or he planned to treat his slaves badly after he got them. His conduct when we first laid together was not what I expected, and it gave me some hope that my first impression might have been wrong, but it was not enough to completely change my opinion. Still, perhaps if I could please him he would not be so strict with me.

"I'm glad he took you," Weave said, and I desperately tried to block his words from my head, but I had spent so many years listening in the shadows that it was impossible. "I was worried for a while that he'd pick me, but obviously he wanted someone who wouldn't be missed."

"Yeah," Jaz chimed in, "I heard they had to take one of his slaves to the hospital, and the other has the most horrendous scars all over his back. Even the Duke won't scar his slaves. He must be a monster."

"Poor Nanashi," Honey said with faked sympathy, "We'll probably never see him again."

"All the better!" Weave laughed.

"Jealousy is unbecoming of you," I said before I managed to stop myself. They had tormented me for so long that it felt good to be able to return the favor, but I should have known better. In an instant, all their mirth was gone and they circled me like a pack of wild dogs.

"You should know better than to disrespect those smarter and prettier than you," Weave hissed, casually running a hand down my back. The effect was immediate and I jerked in pain as the bars in my back sent a bolt of electricity through my body. Weave laughed, for he knew that a mere touch on one of my piercings sent waves of agony through my body. Previously it had given them leverage over me and made me bend to their will. I hoped that it would be different with a new master, but doubted if his slaves found out they would be any different.

Another hand grazed my body, this time the back of my thigh. The force of the shock dropped me to the floor as if my leg had just cramped painfully. I gritted my teeth, but made no sound. Signs of distress would only provoke them. There was nothing I could do but wait them out, for running would provoke them to chase me then to hold me down, and fighting them would only get me in trouble with the Duke, who was worse than the three of them put together.

The continued to touch me gently for several minutes, laughing as I jerked and spasmed in agony. I was sweating by the time they walked off chuckling. I had only enough energy to crawl into the slaves' quarters, a barren room with a few mattresses and blankets scattered about. I lay myself down on the cold stone floor that was my bed. The other three had earned pillows to lie on, but I had not pleased the Duke enough to gain one. The Duke was never pleased with me. The Duke was a sadist, and the pain of his slaves only caused him pleasure. Because of this, it only angered him further that he could not make me scream.

For most of my life I had been a shadow, and so had learned to be silent as the darkness. _Removed for content._

I tried to put the trio's voices from my mind, but it was difficult, and my uncertainties fed them. The brandy in my stomach was making me nauseous and what had already been absorbed was quickly making my head funny. Its strong effect was partially due to the fact that I had not eaten in several days, but I was too comfortable with the feeling of warmth in my stomach to remove it. Allowing the drug to relax my body, I was quickly asleep.

The next morning, the Duke called for me early, meaning that I got only a little over two hours of sleep. It was more than I had gotten in the last two days. I was not surprised about how early he called me, for slaves were often worked hardest their last day of ownership.

_Removed for content._


	46. Zechs 45

I didn't feel like going to another party, but I certainly didn't feel like spending the evening alone. Unfortunately, with Quatre in the hospital and Heero spending much of the day with him, my options were limited. Knowing this, long after Heero was gone I dragged myself out of bed that second day to dress and head to the party.

I was early to the party, which wasn't entirely unexpected, but I was surprised to find that Nanashi was not waiting for me. Upon asking where he was, I was told by another slave that he was bathing, and that he would come to me as soon as he was finished.

"Here to pick up your slave already?" the Duke asked with a smile. "Aren't we a little anxious?"

"Bored is more like it," I responded lightly, "and ready to take my new acquisition home so that we may become... better acquainted."

"But you will stay for the party, won't you?"

"I certainly wouldn't want to insult your hospitality, but you mustn't blame me if I duck out a little early."

"Excellent. I'm sure you'll enjoy the cuisine. One of my slaves is in charge of all the cooking. Of course, all the slaves can cook, including yours and- ... Oh! I almost forgot. I meant to give this to you," he said, handing me a small remote with a large red dial in the middle. I stared at it for a moment, unsure of what to do, as the Duke continued. "Nanashi will show you what to do with that," the Duke said as a slave wrapped in bright red ribbon and nothing else came up beside him. I put the remote in my pocket as his attention was diverted, resolved to ask Nanashi about it later. "Ah! Have you seen my newest pet? I get one every three months or so. Actually, Nanashi was my last pet, but he didn't work out as I had hoped. Perhaps you will have better luck. Well, anyway, this is Ribbon," the Duke said, taking the red-haired boy by the hand. I looked closer at the slight boy and made a shocking realization.

The ribbon, which I had previously thought wrapped around the boy, wrapped through him!

The ribbon began with his arms, stabbing through the soft flesh under his arms, then through the flesh covering his ribs, then back to his arms, so that he could only lift his arms to a certain height and lifting them caused the illusion of wings. From there, it descended in a spiral pattern around and through his stomach until it met his groin. Once there, the ribbon laced itself across his thighs and through the soft flesh on top and underneath his penis. Below that it merely laced back and forth to nearly the slave's ankles, restricting his movement and forcing him to take tiny steps. At his back, the ribbon was laced like a corset over the boy's spine until it tied in a neat bow at the bottom. It was a grotesque picture.

"I must admit," the Duke continued, "that Ribbon has much exceeded my expectations. A marvelous piece of work, much better than Nanashi. Ah, speaking of which, good luck with him," the Duke said, then moved away as Nanashi moved toward me. Like most slaves, Nanashi knelt in submission at my feet in greeting. I stifled the urge to roll my eyes and motioned for him to get up.

Nanashi looked tired and more worn than he had been when I last left. His face was pale and pasty. Upon closer inspection I noticed make-up partially hiding bags under his eyes. He looked ill, almost faint.

"Are you alright?" I asked before I could think of my words.

"I'm fine," Nanashi responded, never meeting my eyes, "Merely tired."

"Ah," I said, not truly understand what could have made him so tired but knowing that it must have been the Duke, "We will leave early, then, as soon as dinner is over. Until then, come sit with me in the library."

"You are too kind, master," Nanashi replied. Though his voice was only vaguely grateful his face told me what I needed to know as I saw the lines of relief standing out on his brow. My new slave had been through a hard night and deserved some rest. With that in mind, I led the way to the library, which had been so peaceful the night before.

Unfortunately, we were not the first there this night. Instead, the library had been converted into an arena for this night's entertainment, with all the furniture having been pushed to the walls, leaving the center open. A long-haired slave was tied and gagged in the middle of the library's large rug while a group of three lecherous masters watched with glee and impatience.

The creature, who was gagged but not blindfolded, had the most stunning purple eyes, which turned to me the instant I entered the room with a beseeching and only partially aware look. He was not crying, but his eyes were wet with unshed tears. His hands were tied in front of him, making him look as though he were begging.

One of the men came from the corner of the room to the boy and knelt behind him. Immediately, the tears were singed away by a fire that came from deep within the boy. He kicked with his legs, lashing out at the man behind him, catching him feebly in the shoulder and knocking him backwards. It only served to enrage the bigger, brutish master, who now grabbed the boy's head and slammed it into the floor.

"Damn brat!" the man yelled, a hand going to his belt as he held the boy down by his hair. "I'll teach you manners, sewer scum!" he yelled, pulling the belt from his trousers and holding it above his head like a weapon. It gleamed in the candle light, catching the boy's eyes, which were suddenly filled with terror.

There was nothing I could do to stop myself. If it hadn't been for Quatre's experience, perhaps I could have allowed it, but even that is not for certain. Perhaps, because I still had a soul, I could never truly be a master. I was fine with that knowledge, as long as no one else was privy to the secret.

Whatever the cause, I darted in and grabbed the man's hand before he could bring the belt down on the naked slave's back. The man looked at me, startled, as I glared down at him, unrelenting.

"What's the meaning of this?" he asked, beginning to get self-righteously angry.

"There's no need to beat him so, sir. I assure you, he can do very little damage, as small and thin as he is. I'm sure the bindings, also, would not aide him."

"Don't underestimate the bitch," he said with a sneer. "That one's been through battles with slaves bigger 'en me and came out on top."

"There's still no reason to be cruel. If you were a bit more patient, perhaps he'd behave better. Besides, there's no use in seriously damaging a slave."

"Especially a slave that is not yours," the Duke's voice chimed in behind me. "I assure you, Master Caldwell, that if I had been forced to pay full price for the Shinigami because you had damaged him there would have been a bounty of the same price on your head."

"I wasn't..." he protested, but the Duke cut him off.

"Save it. I saw the whole thing. Now go get drunk and beat your own slaves or I'll be forced to throw you out."

The man left with a huff, jerking away from my hold before storming out. I looked down at the shaking boy before me. If this was really the Shinigami, I was far from impressed.


	47. Zechs 46

I didn't feel like going to another party, but I certainly didn't feel like spending the evening alone. Unfortunately, with Quatre in the hospital and Heero spending much of the day with him, my options were limited. Knowing this, long after Heero was gone I dragged myself out of bed that second day to dress and head to the party.

I was early to the party, which wasn't entirely unexpected, but I was surprised to find that Nanashi was not waiting for me. Upon asking where he was, I was told by another slave that he was bathing, and that he would come to me as soon as he was finished.

"Here to pick up your slave already?" the Duke asked with a smile. "Aren't we a little anxious?"

"Bored is more like it," I responded lightly, "and ready to take my new acquisition home so that we may become... better acquainted."

"But you will stay for the party, won't you?"

"I certainly wouldn't want to insult your hospitality, but you mustn't blame me if I duck out a little early."

"Excellent. I'm sure you'll enjoy the cuisine. One of my slaves is in charge of all the cooking. Of course, all the slaves can cook, including yours and- ... Oh! I almost forgot. I meant to give this to you," he said, handing me a small remote with a large red dial in the middle. I stared at it for a moment, unsure of what to do, as the Duke continued. "Nanashi will show you what to do with that," the Duke said as a slave wrapped in bright red ribbon and nothing else came up beside him. I put the remote in my pocket as his attention was diverted, resolved to ask Nanashi about it later. "Ah! Have you seen my newest pet? I get one every three months or so. Actually, Nanashi was my last pet, but he didn't work out as I had hoped. Perhaps you will have better luck. Well, anyway, this is Ribbon," the Duke said, taking the red-haired boy by the hand. I looked closer at the slight boy and made a shocking realization.

The ribbon, which I had previously thought wrapped around the boy, wrapped through him!

_Removed for content._

"I must admit," the Duke continued, "that Ribbon has much exceeded my expectations. A marvelous piece of work, much better than Nanashi. Ah, speaking of which, good luck with him," the Duke said, then moved away as Nanashi moved toward me. Like most slaves, Nanashi knelt in submission at my feet in greeting. I stifled the urge to roll my eyes and motioned for him to get up.

Nanashi looked tired and more worn than he had been when I last left. His face was pale and pasty. Upon closer inspection I noticed make-up partially hiding bags under his eyes. He looked ill, almost faint.

"Are you alright?" I asked before I could think of my words.

"I'm fine," Nanashi responded, never meeting my eyes, "Merely tired."

"Ah," I said, not truly understand what could have made him so tired but knowing that it must have been the Duke, "We will leave early, then, as soon as dinner is over. Until then, come sit with me in the library."

"You are too kind, master," Nanashi replied. Though his voice was only vaguely grateful his face told me what I needed to know as I saw the lines of relief standing out on his brow. My new slave had been through a hard night and deserved some rest. With that in mind, I led the way to the library, which had been so peaceful the night before.

Unfortunately, we were not the first there this night. Instead, the library had been converted into an arena for this night's entertainment, with all the furniture having been pushed to the walls, leaving the center open. A long-haired slave was tied and gagged in the middle of the library's large rug.

_Removed for content._


	48. Zechs 47

"Is that really the legendary Shinigami?" I couldn't help but ask the Duke.

"The one and only," he replied, smirking. "Don't let his size fool you. He's a killer, and has been ever since his first master died. Completely savage, so bad that he has to be drugged before anyone can even handle him. He's injured several slaves and masters this year alone."

"So he's yours?" I asked, and the Duke actually laughed.

"Not on your life. The Shinigami is fun for a party, but he's notorious for getting into trouble, and usually distracts a master so much that he can't train his other slaves. That's why no one takes him as their own. At least, those who have enough money to buy him are usually pretty serious about Collar. A first place winner in three sections? That means that the Collar staff is selling him as a Collar slave, and won't take less than a Collar price even though nobody wants him. So, to offset the cost of keeping him, they rent him out for functions like this. As long as he comes back without a scar, the price is only a percentage of what his buying price is."

"It seems cruel, to move him around so."

"Well if he behaved he'd certainly have a permanent place to stay, but he won't. He brings it on himself. They all do," he assured. I nodded with fake understanding and knelt next to the boy, who was pulling against his bonds. I could see, as I looked at his eyes, that he was mildly drugged.

"I'll let my slaves give him another dose of drugs," the Duke commented, motioning to a pair of slaves. "It should be enough to keep him quiet for the rest of the night."

"Are you sure that's necessary?"

"It's for the best. He'll only hurt himself fighting us if we left him lucid."

"Ah," I responded and watched as the slaves moved in on Shinigami. He watched them intently. From my studies of the martial arts and fighting techniques, I could see, just before he lashed out at the pair, his muscles tensing in preparation. Then he kicked at the pair, sending the two sprawling backwards, and all hell broke loose as they attempted to retaliate. Shinigami was vicious, moving spastically, with a strength I hadn't expected to come out of the small body. The three slaves suddenly became a tangled mass of limbs and bodies. Though Shinigami was obviously at a disadvantage, he was holding his own against the two bigger slaves, but it was useless. He would only get himself hurt with the constant fighting. And, from the angry looks the other two slaves had begun to give him, he might get hurt badly.

It was with that thought fueling my resolve that I decided to intervene. Quickly stepping into the fray, I inserted myself between the Duke's two slaves and Shinigami. I motioned for them to stay put and, though they cast heated glares behind me, they did as commanded. Behind me, Shinigami was on his back, biting down on the gag in his mouth and staring at me with the gaze of a rabid wolf. I moved slowly toward him, watching his body, so that when he lashed at me with his legs I could easily dodge and grab him around the middle. I pulled him up, getting him off the floor so that he could not kick with any power, then pulled his legs to my side so that he could not kick at all. With his size and weight, he was not able to kick out my hold, though he tried valiantly. Giving up with his legs, he attempted to head-butt me, so I grabbed his head with my other hand. The final product was me holding most of his weight with my hand on his thighs, keeping him still with a hand on his forehead, while the two slaves injected him with the drugs as he thrashed against me.

When it was over, I pulled him down to the floor, for he was much easier to hold while I was sitting. I continued to keep him locked in my embrace as he thrashed, resisting the drugs. But even the legend was only human, and eventually he succumbed. I watched the energy drain out of him, until he was calm and placid as any house-pet. He gazed up at me with the same affection I had seen in my favorite hunting dog. Somewhere underneath all the bravado I saw the same hopes, dreams, and desire to be loved as any other human, but as the cloud of drugs took hold of his conscious there was nothing but an animalistic haze. It was sickening to see one with such a strong soul brought so low by means as dirty as drugs and abuse.

I stayed there for a moment, rocking the boy as he leaned his head dizzily against my chest. A ghost of a smile crossed his face, which was gratitude enough for the small pleasure I was giving him. I wanted to protect him, just as I wanted to protect all the slaves.

_Removed for content._


	49. Heero 48

Quatre watched for me every day at lunch time, staring at the door for long periods of time. The nurses said it was weird and wanted to sedate Quatre, but I knew he was just very lonely for master and myself. Quatre liked to be around people, and despite his fears was very affectionate. It was hard for him to be alone, like he was a lot of the time at the hospital because the nurses were so busy. The stark white colors didn't help either, for they seemed to drained the life out of the place. I knew that by coming to see Quatre everyday, by talking to him for several hours, I was letting him know that I hadn't forgotten him, and that master hadn't forgotten him, and that he still had a place to go back to.

"...you will have to tell your master about this eventually," I heard the doctor say as I approached Quatre's room. The door was slightly ajar, and I could see the doctor sitting in a chair, my chair, next to the bed, talking in serious tones to a somber looking Quatre.

"I will, just... not yet. I've been such a bother already..."

"I understand," the doctor said compassionately, handing the blonde boy a bottle of pills. "I can give you this much for now, but your master must buy more when it runs out."

"Thank you," Quatre replied, quickly hiding the bottle in a drawer next to his bed, unlike the other bottles of medicine, which were sitting in plain view on top of the cabinet. I decided it was time to make my entrance and pushed the door open, startling the two occupants. Quatre swiftly covered the traces of shock and guilt on his face, greeting me warmly.

"Heero," he smiled, only it looked a little more strained than usual, "I'm so glad you came."

"I'll be taking my leave now," the doctor said, patting my shoulder as he left. "You take care of him now. He's a good boy," he assured, then left the room.

What a suspicious sequence of events. But I ignored it, for now. The doctor would not give him anything harmful, and Quatre was fairly reliable himself, so I had a hard time believing that it was anything very bad. I wouldn't report him and, without a direct confrontation, there was really no way to make him tell me. So I would wait to see how things progressed.

"How are you feeling?" I asked.

"Better, but I'm still sleeping too much."

"The nurses say your not sleeping enough."

"That's not true. I just wake up when they come in. I can, kind of, tell when they're coming, and it wakes me up."

"Oh. So you are sleeping well?"

"Yes. I'm trying to gain my strength back. I want to go back to master. And I feel bad about making you stay here all day while master goes to parties."

"It's alright, I'd rather be here," I let slip, then instantly knew my mistake.

"Why?"

"You know I hate parties," I covered, but Quatre wouldn't have it. He had the uncanny ability to read people, which he had used on me several times in the last few days.

"What's the real reason?" he asked, and I could do nothing but tell him.

"The master is purchasing another slave," I replied, and saw the implications of this action dawn on him. Quatre, master, and I had formed a relationship that was close and caring, a relationship that was rare among slaves and even rarer between masters and slaves. Another slave, one different from our original relationship, could put everything off. It could force one or more slaves out of the equation, or completely change the scenario.

"I-is he replacing me?" Quatre asked me, his voice shaking slightly.

"No," I assured immediately. The master asked of Quatre's health almost every night, sometimes asking me to send his love before I left. Quatre, I think, didn't believe me about this and thought I was making it up, but master certainly hadn't forgotten him.

"Is he... Is he replacing you?" he asked, the fear still in his voice. My answer was hesitant, and not nearly so convinced. After all, I was the one who had messed up at Master Scrub's party, and who hadn't noticed Quatre's sickness and let it get this bad. Perhaps hurting Quatre had finally pushed master over the edge of what he would forgive me for.

"I... don't know," I replied honestly. There were tears in Quatre's eyes, and he reached out and took my hand. Our bond was special, because a slave is never allowed to have friends, and that was what we were. Quatre spoke no words, knowing that there was nothing he could say to make me feel better, nor to change the situation. Still, feeling the pain he felt for me, knowing someone cared so much, gave me hope.

"When is he coming?" Quatre asked after a long period of silence.

"Tonight," I replied and saw him flinch.

"So soon?"

"Master picked him out yesterday. Apparently he and Master Marcel had an agreement for him to get one of the Duke's slaves. It really doesn't matter. There's nothing to be done now."

"But... surely master won't leave you. You're his first slave."

"Not all masters are so sentimental. It would not be unheard of for the first slave bought to be the first slave to go."

"Stop it!" Quatre snapped, fisting his hands in the sheets. "You can't think like this! Master would never do such a thing to you! He's not that kind of master! Just... Just leave me alone!" he sobbed, and I could see that I was upsetting him, so I quietly got up and left.

At the doorway, he called to me, saying my name as though he was calling for help.

"You-... You'll come back tomorrow, won't you?" he asked, his voice shaking, tears threatening.

"If I can," I replied simply. I wanted to assure him, but I didn't want to have to break a promise. If I were... replaced, then my new master would not let me come see Quatre. If I had a new master. If I were even alive.

I shut the door to Quatre's room with a sense of foreboding. I didn't want to return to master's apartment, but I knew better than to put it off with no where to go. It wasn't late by the collar schedule, but I knew that master was not really adjusted and would go to sleep early if he could. There was a sixty-six percent chance that he was either still out or sleeping.

Chance won out, and when I got in I found that master was, indeed, already asleep, his new slave curled beside him. I padded to the doorway, but couldn't see well enough to tell more than that he was tall and slender. He wasn't extremely close to master as they slept, but their foreheads pressed together, and I could tell that already they were starting to bond.

Standing in the doorway, watching them, I felt like a child looking into a window. I could see what I wanted, but there was a barrier between us. I could see the warmth I craved, but I was so afraid of losing the light from just looking that I dared not move out of the cold. I could not bring myself to enter, so I turned away and walked back to the den.

Once there, I found another dilemma for myself. I was sure that I couldn't enter the bedroom, but I was not sure where I could go. I had never officially been told that I could sleep in the slaves quarters, so there was no saying that master didn't want me to sleep by the door.

Overcome by this indecision, I eventually settled for resting on the couch. It would be close enough for me to hear if master called me, but far enough away that I could block out the sounds if they decided to... become better acquainted.

I allowed myself to sink into the corner of the couch, pulling my legs up and resting my arms on my knees. It was strange. I knew that all the rooms at Collar were kept very warm because of all the naked slaves. So why did it suddenly feel so cold?


	50. Zechs 49

Hey, how many people on here are on GaiaOnline? I was thinking about opening a thread in the fanfic forum(inside the writer's forum) to get some feedback. If I can get some opinions, I might be able to get the updates to come a little quicker. For those who aren't on Gaia, it's completely free and doesn't require personal information. You can sign up just to come see me, if you want. If you're against Gaia, E-mail me and we'll talk privately. Whatever happens, I want to get the updates coming more quickly, but I need to know my readers are willing to help me out. On Gaia, I am Psychosghost. I'll open a thread called Cages by Ryoko21 in the fanfiction forum. Thanks to anyone who can help.

I awoke to a scream.

At first, I was strangely disoriented. I remembered bringing Trowa back to the apartment after a long and excruciating dinner. I had asked him if he would like to bathe, and had offered to help him. Trowa was, obviously, not body shy, so he accepted and I bathed with him. While helping him, I had found several bruises on his back, legs, and thighs that I was sure I hadn't made and had not been there before. I called him on them.

"The Duke... he always drives his slaves hardest right before they are given away, to get the most use out of them. I was... busy after you left. I apologize."

There was really nothing I could do; I couldn't be mad at him because he had not been given a choice and I couldn't really be surprised with Duke after all I had seen. Instead I sighed and simply took a cream I had bought for Heero out of the drawer, telling him it would help take the soreness away. I was sure to check him thoroughly to be sure he had not been torn. Whoever had... dealt with him had not been gentle, but they had at least known what they were doing. He was bruised and terribly sore, but there was nothing torn or bleeding. It was certain to fade quickly with the applications of the cream, and I applied it generously for him, sure to place it on every hurt. There was nothing I could do now that it was done, but I would not be so helpless in the future. It seemed that only as my slave was he safe.

Once he was relaxed and I was dressed for bed we both climbed in. Trowa was somewhat shy, keeping a cushion of space between us on the bed, but he didn't flinch away as I kissed his forehead and allowed are heads to press together as I fell asleep. Better than Quatre had done but not as good as Heero. Speaking of which, I wondered how soon he would be home. I missed holding him in my arms as I drifted to sleep, and it was nice waking to his light form draped across my chest.

None of this, I decided as I sat there in shocked silence, accounted for the scream that I had just heard.

It came again, and I glanced beside me on the bed at Trowa, but he was awake and alert, looking just as surprised as I was. Quatre, who had been known for crying in his sleep, was currently at the hospital.

I realized who I was missing as the scream sounded a third time from the other room and I jumped out of bed, darting toward the door. Heero, I found, was curled up in a ball, tucked into the corner of the couch, trying to make himself as small as possible. His face was contorted in pain and fear, his body shaking. As I approached I saw him suddenly jerk, as if something had stung him, and twist, falling off the couch. I dove and managed to catch him before he hit the floor, pulling him into my lap as I cushioned his fall with my body. His eyes opened and honed in to my face, still filled with fear and pain.

"Master?" he questioned softly, his voice still holding the quiver of nightmare.

"What were you doing out here, Heero?" I asked him, wondering why he hadn't come to bed. I had never known him to have such screaming nightmares when I held him, and I certainly would have noticed one as violent as this.

"I- I wasn't sure where you wanted me," he said, diverting his eyes from mine to look at his hands. A second later, movement from behind me caught his eye and he glanced over my shoulder, only to look away a moment later with tears in his eyes.

Glancing over my shoulder I found Trowa watching us with a guarded look on his face, eyeing Heero suspiciously, and everything fell into place.

"Heero, I-.. That isn't what this is about. He's not competition, damnit, he's here to help. I can't keep putting everything on you, Angel."

"I'm not weak," he defended angrily, "I could handle it."

"I know you could, but I won't allow it. You'd hurt yourself trying to do everything, and I simply won't have that."

I rose to my feet, Heero in my arms, and began to walk toward the bedroom. Trowa, as much a slave as Heero, eyed me warily, wondering where he should go. I inclined my head toward the bedroom and allowed Trowa to proceed me. Once there I motioned for Trowa to enter the bed first, then situated myself between the two boys. Gently, but with the force of a master I hoped not to be, I pulled Heero and Trowa close to me, allowing Trowa only the cushion of space he had previously had. Then, with a slave's head on either shoulder, I settled in to sleep.

It might take a while, but one way or another my slaves would learn to get along.


	51. Heero 50

See what happens when everyone talks to me? Oh, and who ever "The Reader" is, I'd still like to talk to you even if you don't like Gaia. Please contact me through or E-mail me. Sorry about putting you on the spot, but I seem to do it to everyone.

Finally, I want to encourage everyone I can to go to Gaia. It's the only sure way to know I'll answer you questions and you can vote for what I should do (though I'll answer almost any review that leaves me a reply address as well.) Anyway, thanks, and keep reading!

When I awoke the next morning, I could feel master's eyes on me, and see his new slave sleeping on the other side of him, his back to us. He motioned for me to get up and we both got out of bed, leaving the newest addition to the household sleep.

Once out of the bedroom, master and I gravitated toward the kitchen, and ended up sitting on the bar stools facing one another. I kept my head down, afraid he would be disappointed with my behavior last night. I had not had a nightmare in a very long time, probably because even in the warehouse there were always slaves around me when I slept, usually within reach of my cage. It was only when I was alone that the nightmares hit, and I had felt so very alone last night.

My only consolation that night had been that master had again saved me, waking me from the nightmare and taking me back into the warmth. When master had taken me into his room I had been too grateful to refuse, too frightened to protest. I hadn't wanted the other slave there, for I had still felt that he was a threat, but I would not risk angering master by protesting.

I doubted the other slave would become close to any of us as Quatre and I had. Friendships were rare in Collar, as I well knew, and there was something in Trowa's eyes that told me he knew how to play games of betrayal and deceit. Quatre had been so quickly beaten by the games of the slaves of his last master that he had never really learned how to play, though I didn't doubt he knew how to lie, and I had yet to be forced to play the game in master's house. I didn't want to stoop back to that level, but to protect Quatre and myself I would not hesitate to do so.

There was a pregnant silence in the kitchen, and then master spoke.

"I meant what I said last night," he said, causing me to raise my head just the slightest. "The addition of Trowa does not take anything away from you or Quatre. I don't want his presence here to alarm you, and I don't want you to make him feel like an outcast."

"I understand," I said in monotone, resolved to do what was necessary to protect myself and Quatre, even if that meant lying to master.

"Heero, you must believe me, Trowa is not going to replace either you or Quatre. Do you understand? I need you to believe me," he said, staring intently at me. Under his harsh gaze, my resolve wilted. If I allowed my own actions to change because of the new slave, was I not changing the schematics of our household just as much as Trowa's actions would have? Lying to the only master who had ever treated me with any decency was not the solution to the problem. It would merely compound it.

"I... I am trying," I said honestly, and could see in master's face that he was happier with this honest answer than he could have been with any other.

"I know you are. Just... try to trust me. And be nice to Trowa. Do you remember how hard your and Quatre's first days with me were? He's going to need to know that he's not going to be isolated. Just... try to get to know him, alright? That's all I ask," he said. I nodded, and master kissed me, then went to order breakfast.

Trowa came out as I was bringing breakfast in. I set the tray down on the counter and approached him. He was taller than me by several inches, though still a couple inches shorter than master. Despite this he seemed to dwarf beside master, as many people did, because he kept his head down and his shoulders slumped. I didn't like having to look up at him, but I had long grown accustomed to my short stature and did not let it bother me. He was thin, as I had noticed last night, and had a hungry look to him that slaves get when they haven't eaten in a few days. Being that he was up for bets, there was a possibility his master had cut his rations, and I didn't want to have to clean up a mess in the kitchen.

"Are you going to vomit?" I asked him at point blank. I could feel master's eyes on me, watching to make sure we didn't fight. Trowa looked surprised by this question, his one visible green eye opening slightly in surprise before he shook his head in negative. I nodded an affirmative and turned around to meet master's questioning stare.

"Heero, what was that about?" he asked me, still naive to some aspects of a slave's life.

"He looked hungry. There was a good possibility he hadn't eaten in several days. I didn't want him to mess up the kitchen."

"Trowa?" he asked, trying to confirm what I had said. Again the boy merely nodded, confirming my information without words. "Well... don't go to bed hungry. You should have said something last night. Actually, don't go anywhere hungry. There's always food in the refrigerator. I don't want you to be afraid to eat. Just go and get something if you're hungry, no one's going to punish you," he said, but I could tell Trowa only half believed him. I think master could too, because he sighed before he sat down at the table. We followed quickly after.

Once at the table, Trowa and I sat on the same side, one chair away from the other, while master sat in the middle chair on the other side. There was oatmeal for breakfast, with maple syrup, honey, brown sugar, and fruit to go with it along with apple juice, orange juice, and milk. I served the table, giving Trowa a small portion after giving his pallor a suspicious glance.

"Heero," master remonstrated, and I sighed before looking him in the eye.

"I'm not being rude. He probably won't even eat that much, if he hasn't eaten in a few days. If he forces it, he'll just be sick."

"Ah," master said, I think recalling my first day with him, "I see. Well, Trowa, if you are still hungry feel free to get more, and make sure you snack throughout the day."

"Yes, master," he said demurely, but I wasn't convinced that it wasn't all an act. Once master had found submission in him, perhaps he thought master would be easier to manipulate against Quatre and I. I would keep a close eye on Trowa.

Breakfast was quiet, and Trowa proved me right by leaving a bit of his porridge uneaten, as I was fairly certain he would. Once my breakfast was eaten, I could not find it in me to stay in a room so filled with tension, and fled to the bath.


	52. Zechs 51

The tension did not dissipate with Heero out of the room, though I really hadn't expected it to. Instead, Trowa and I sat in the same tense silence together, until I finally asked him if he'd like to freshen up in the slave's bathroom.

"There should be a hairbrush in there somewhere, and I made sure that it had toothbrushes and toothpaste. Feel free to use any, they're all new."

Trowa nodded and rose, as eager to escape the feeling of foreboding as Heero was, I think. With him out of the room and nothing to occupy myself with, I suddenly remembered the tiny remote the Duke had given me. I had slipped it into a kitchen drawer after the party, too tired to really worry about it. Now, without any distractions, I rose and fetched the tiny plastic box, contemplating it as I waited for Trowa, so that I could ask him about it directly.

"What's that?" Heero asked, coming out of the bedroom fresh from the shower. His hair was still sopping wet as he toweled it dry, a thin pair of shorts covering his modesty as the rest of him was bare, damp, and wonderfully covered in a thin lair of moisture. I was forced to restrain my more base urges as I watched the play of water on muscle. Heero, typically, was unaffected.

"The Duke gave it to me, said to ask Trowa about it."

"Then be careful," he said as I twisted the knob down from where it had been in the middle.

"What's the worst that it could do?" I wondered, then decided to heed Heero's words just in case. I began to turn the knob back to its original place, but there was a sudden gasp from behind me, so loud and close that I jumped. My hand slipped, turning the knob all the way up as I turned to see what had happened behind me.

I turned just in time to see Trowa's eyes roll back into his head as his body dropped like a rock and begin to spasm wildly on the floor. Shocked, I dropped the remote and rushed to Trowa's side, Heero right beside me. I attempted to grab him to keep him from thrashing and hurting himself, but was hit with electricity the moment I touched him. Heero, who was still wet from the shower, was hit harder and knocked on his butt.

"There's got to be a live wire or something!" I hissed to Heero, beginning to panic. It looked as though Trowa was being electrocuted, and from the power of the shock I had received I knew we had only precious moments to turn it off before the boy's heart stopped.

"There's nothing near him!" Heero replied, repeating only what I already knew. Still, there had to be something hurting him.

"M-m-m-mas-s-ster-r-r, p-p-p-p-pleas-s-s-se," Trowa said, trying to speak around his spasming body, "t-t-t-t-turn-n-n it-t-t of-f-f-f-f-f-f!"

"Turn what off?" I asked, leaning close to him.

"Th-h-he r-r-r-re-e-m-m-mo-t-t-t-te!" he cried, then seemed to give up, allowing his eyes to roll back and giving his body free reign to flail.

It only took me a second to realize what he was talking about, and I jumped off the floor and dashed for the counter. Reaching it, I scrambled for the remote and wrenched the dial all the way to the bottom.

It was only when I saw that Trowa was still did I let myself once again drop the remote and collapse beside him, this time panicking for another reason. The boy was now far too still, his chest rising and falling only slightly. He was barely breathing.

"Trowa?" I called, shaking his shoulder, "Trowa!" I hissed, shaking harder with still no result. "Trowa, damnit! Open your eyes! Respond to me! I swear, I'll- I'll- I'll turn it back on, damn you! Open your eyes!"

This threat, though harsh, had the desired result. Trowa opened his eyes and gasped, focusing on me.

"Mas-..." Trowa said, only getting half of the word out before he began to cough. Relief flooded me as Heero helped me turn him on his side. "Masser," he said a moment later, "please, don't! I-..."

"Shh,"I told him, still recovering from the shock of the attack, "Save your strength. I would never do such a thing," I told him. He nodded, still on his side, and allowed his eyes to close. I asked Heero to help me turn him over and we helped the barely conscious boy to his back.

"I don't... I don't understand what could have happened," I said, turning what must have been a lost look on Heero.

"I-..." he hesitated, looking at Trowa with great intent. "I think I know what might have happened. I've seen it before, but never so many. Master's... they don't want to leave a mark on their slaves, so they hit them with an electric pulse. Usually the conductor is in the slave's collar, but sometimes... they put them in earrings."


	53. Trowa 52

Master was frowning deeply. My heart suddenly jumped to my throat. I knew Heero had said something about my piercings, but I wasn't sure what. What if I had somehow displeased the master? What if he turned it back on?

I must have whimpered, because master was suddenly looking at me with concern.

"I'm sorry..." I tried to say, while sitting up. I was cut off by the room suddenly tilting sideways and could only moan as I dropped my head back to the hard wooden floor.

"Don't move," master warned, reaching over to snag a throw pillow from the couch. He lifted my head, causing the room to spin again, then settled me onto the pillow. I closed my eyes, and when I next opened them Master was frowning again. I flinched as he reached down and examined one of my piercings, but Master only touched it, there was no shock.

"I suppose that's why they won't come out," I heard him say, but could tell that it was directed more to Heero than to me. "Did you get the wirecutters I asked for?" he asked. I whimpered, wondering what he was going to do with them, and what I had done so wrong to deserve it.

"Hush," Master said, petting my hair. "I won't hurt you."

"Yes," Heero replied to his earlier question, "I got two of them."

"That's good. Put them on the kitchen table for me, then you can go to Quatre. I know he's probably wondering where you are."

"Yes, master," Heero said, then rose.

I could hear Heero moving around the room, but I couldn't see him, and I realized that my eyes had gone closed. I struggled to open them, but they were so very heavy. My body hurt, but I knew I couldn't sleep. I wouldn't want to disappoint master again.

"Just rest," came master's voice from very close, and I realized that he was beside me on the floor. "Lie still for a moment. I want to show Heero out before he goes to see Quatre, so I'm going to leave you alone for just a minute. Lie still for me and don't try to get up," he said, and I heard him rise and move away. I was so tired, but so nervous at the same time, that it was impossible for me to rest and impossible for me to fully wake up. Instead, I hovered in a daze and could only hope I didn't make any more mistakes.

Master returned after speaking in low tones to Heero at the door. Something about not mentioning what had happened, and something about a Cat. I was too far gone to really comprehend what they were saying, though I was worried about it none the less. I heard the door shut, then master's soft footsteps approaching me, but I did not open my eyes, though I felt that they might stay open now after the few seconds of rest I had given them. Master knelt beside me again, but I wasn't sure if I should open my eyes as he had told me to rest. I was afraid of upsetting him again.

"Trowa?" he asked softly, touching the skin of my forearm, "Are you awake?"

I opened my eyes and looked up at him, certain now that he would not be angered. "Yes, master?" I told him, my voice soft and horse from my punishment.

"Can you stand?"

"Yes, master."

"Come then," he said, taking my hand and helping me to my feet. I was shaky, and I wobbled on my feet, but I was fairly certain that I would not fall. Master, who stood beside me and held my shoulder, did not seem so certain, and stayed very close as he helped me to the bedroom.

Once in the room, master had me lie down on top of the bed, then left the room. I hadn't been told to sleep, so I forced myself to stay awake, though I couldn't keep my eyes from drooping. Master returned only seconds later, carrying the wirecutters he and Heero had talked about earlier. I felt the color drain from my face and must have made a small sound of distress.

"Calm down. As I've said before, I'm not going to hurt you. Now, I want you to take these and clip one end of your piercings."

Master placed a wirecutter in my hand, which I could not get to move no matter what I tried. I stared at him in disbelief. He must have spoken to the Duke. They must have formed a plan together. I knew what the punishment would be if I removed any of my piercings, even by accident. To do it intentionally...

The tool fell from my limp hand and dropped to the bed, making a small patter as it hit. Master, who had been assessing the piercings on my ankle, looked up at me.

"Trowa?" he asked.

"I can't," I replied, trying to sound determined, but even I could tell that my voice shook. I was disobeying Master once again, and I worried he would turn the charge back on. But it would still be better.

"Can't what?" he asked, his face showing confusion.

"I can't take them out. The piercings... I am not allowed to remove them..."

"I allow you," he said with conviction. "I am your master now, and I say that you are allowed."

"No," I whispered, and I could see him frown. I looked away, too afraid to even look at him. Tears spilled from my eyes. Why was he doing this? He had seemed so kind earlier and last night. Mane masters were kind to slaves they wanted to own, but why had he been so nice last night if he only planned to hurt me? He hadn't even beaten me for servicing the Duke's body guards, and he had put a lotion on the bruises that made the pain go away almost instantly. What had I done so wrong to force such a change in Master? What could I do? If I disobeyed Master, I would be punished, but disobeying the Duke meant torture and death. But what if Master took me back to the Duke because I had disobeyed? The Duke would kill me anyway. So... what should I do?

White noise had suddenly taken over my hearing, and all I could hear was the deafening silence that screamed in my head. I knew Master was saying something, but the pain drowned out his words. I could hear myself saying, "I can't! I can't! I can't!" but I couldn't feel my lips move. I was shaking, and I was icy cold, but the two didn't seem related. Master was beside me, but he was so very, very far away.


	54. Trowa 53

Something pounded softly next to my ear. Rhythmically I could hear it beat, like music. It was warm, and the beating was soft, and I felt so safe. I wanted to sleep, but there was something tickling the edge of my consciousness. A voice, calling for me to wake up.

"Trowa, come on, look at me," it called and I recognized my Master. I opened my eyes, for I only wanted to please Master, and looked at him.

His eyes were such a pretty blue that they never should have held such worry. There was a heaviness in them that I had not seen in other masters, a compassion that must have been painful in a place like this. He smiled in relief and I saw just how pretty his eyes could be.

Then his hand brushed my arm, catching on one of my piercings, and I flinched. Everything suddenly came back to me, and I gasped. Master, seeing my distress, pulled my head back down to his chest, letting the rhythm of his heart calm me.

"Just relax," he told me, holding me close, stroking my back. I did so, relaxing against him as my mind worked to fill in what had happened. I realized, startlingly, that there was a gap in my memory between the time I panicked and how I managed to get wrapped nearly around Master, covered in a blanket, and lying down.

"Wha-...?" I started, but hesitated, unable to clearly form the question. "How did I...?"

"You had a panic attack. You were completely incoherent for several minutes. I believe you may have fallen asleep while I was calming you, but it would not be farfetched to say that you fainted."

"I am sorry, Master."

"Tell me what the Duke would have done to you had you removed your piercings," he demanded.

"What?" I could only gasp.

"Tell me how the Duke would have punished you."

"How did..." I wondered, suddenly afraid again that they had been speaking without my knowledge.

"You spoke of it several times while you were incoherent. Now, tell me what he would have done."

"He... He said he would fry me until I was black with a livewire. He said it would be one hundred times worse than my rings. Then he made me touch a wire, just to show me what it was like. I was thrown to the ground the moment I touched it, but I still lost use of my hands for several weeks. I was unconscious for four days. I couldn't speak for a month."

"I see," he said, looking pensive. "Stay here," he ordered after a moment, then rose and disappeared into the bathroom. I turned onto my back and sat up, but otherwise didn't dare to move. I was in enough trouble as it was.

When Master returned, he was carrying a syringe. I flinched, but forced myself not to run. Even if I had run, Master could have just stopped me with the remote, so it was very little use. There was a cottonswab in his other hand, and Master was thorough and professional as he sat beside me and swabbed my arm. He was quick with the syringe, which I was grateful for, but it was still difficult for me to endure. I was extremely afraid of needles.

Once it was over, Master had me lie back down on the bed as he continued to sit beside me.

"What I gave you is a muscle relaxant," he said at length, taking my hand in his own. "It will make it difficult for you to move, but won't put you to sleep. Not that you'll need any help with that," he said. I realized, as he spoke, that I could not move more than an inch in any direction, and I could only twitch my arms and legs with great effort. "I think it's taken affect," he said. "I'm sorry for forcing you into this, but I simply won't allow one of my slaves to be treated this way. I'm sure you'll be alright tomorrow," he told me. I swallowed hard as he rose and moved to the bottom of the bed. I could feel my worry starting to resurface, but it was difficult to rise to that level of terror with the drugs in my system. I settled for watching him fearfully as he picked up the wirecutters.

"You may not believe this," he said in a tone of annoyed amusement, "but I don't plan on taking any appendages with these," he said, half smiling as he waved the tool in his hand. "Your fingers and toes are perfectly safe."

I managed a half-hearted smile for him, but it faded as he returned his attention to his work, flicking the covers from my leg. I could not move as he lowered the cutters and snapped off the end of one of the metal bars piercing my flesh, but I did moan somewhat frantically. The medicine, whatever Master had given me, made it so that the procedure did not hurt, as I could barely feel my legs over the heavy numbness that had settled into my body. Still, the sound to me was so frightful, so morbid, that the sound itself created the pain.

"Oh, come now, it's not that bad," Master said as he pulled the bar the out from the other side and dropped it into the bowl he had brought from the kitchen. It made a twang as the metal hit ceramic and I flinched again.

"Hush," Master said finally. "Sleep if this upsets you so badly. I didn't think you'd need help, but I can certainly oblige if you keep this up," he said, giving me a small glare. I held my tongue as he bent to cut the next one, but still could not hold in the involuntary flinch. Master didn't comment on this, though, simply continued with his work. It became a rhythm, each snip and twang as he would cut and drop the pieces of metal that had so plagued me for the last few years. There were so many, and I was so tired, that it became like a terrifying melody to me.

Snip. Twang. Snip. Twang. Snip. Twang. Snip. Twang. Snip. Twang. Snip. Twang.

I could feel myself nodding off, and struggled to keep awake, though I could not tell why I felt so strongly that I must not sleep. At some point, Master rose and left the room, but it was not until he returned that I noticed he was gone. He had a towel in his hand and began to wipe my leg, and it was only upon seeing the red on white that I noticed my leg was bleeding where the piercings had been removed. It was only a small dribble of blood, though, much less than when they went in, and I was not overly concerned, except for the possibility of staining Master's sheets. But there was really nothing I could do about it, so eventually I let the thought leave my mind.

"What could you have possibly have done to deserve a... punishment... like this?" Master asked, looking somewhat sickened by the sight of my body.

"One of the Duke's favorite slaves as jealous of me," I said, trying to stay coherent enough to tell the story. "At his house, where my first master gave me to him, there was a high fence outside. It was tall... so very tall... but not too tall. I..." I hesitated, trying to remember, "I performed acrobatics where I jumped really high. Later, one of his most prized slaves told me to go to the garden and prune the flowers, then told the Duke that I had been trying to escape. He believed the slave, and punished me. When I wouldn't scream, he punished me more. I became one of his favorites, because the slaves the Duke loves the most are the ones he hurts the worst."

"My god," Master murmured and returned to his work, this time moving to the other leg. I once again began to nod off, but jerked myself awake as my head fell forward. Master noticed, and looked up for a moment, pausing in his work.

"Go to sleep," he said sternly, pulling a pillow from behind me so that I was forced to lie all the way down. I did not like it, but I didn't have the strength to sit up. "If you wish to please me, then go to sleep. This is going to take a long time, there's no need for you to sit through all of it."

What could I do when the Master ordered me to do what my body had been begging for? With a sigh of anxiety that I could barely feel, I allowed my eyes to slip shut, so that I was reduced to only my sense of sound.

Snip. Twang. Snip. Twang. Snip. Twang.

It followed me into my dreams, haunting me, filling my ears as I ran from wires and shocks.

I slept, though uneasily, for a very time, only half waking as Master rolled me over to get at the bars on my back.

Snip. Twang. Snip. Twang. Snip. Twang.

It was the sound of freedom, and that terrified me. I knew what a cruel, dark place the world could be. I was as afraid of being alone in it as I was of being caged by it.


	55. Trowa 54

I awoke feeling refreshed and realized that, once Master had finished with the bars, I had slept better than I had in years. It was strange, not having them there, and I couldn't help but run my hands along my arms and torso to assure myself that they were gone. The tiny holes in my body where they had been reminded me of their presence, and the pain from the sore places they had been told me it was not merely a dream.

My memories from the previous night were fuzzy, but some images were vivid. I remembered doing something bad that made Master angry. I remembered being punished with a full voltage and begging Master to turn it off. He had listened, which was strange, but I was too relieved to notice then. Heero had left and Master took me into the bedroom, where he proposed to remove the bars from my body. I had thought it was a trick, wasn't able to imagine that it was anything but a trick, and panicked. Master had calmed me, relaxed me, and removed the bars. I could still hear them being snapped off and dropped into the bowl, one by one.

With a shudder, I rose from the bed and walked into the kitchen. I had not truly grasped the situation yet, so that my feelings were still scattered and I was left empty, unsure of anything. Because of this, I wasn't sure if I should hug Master or run from him when I saw him sitting at the table. I settled for sitting in front of him.

I could tell right away that Master was unhappy. Slaves quickly become attuned to these kinds of things, and Master wasn't trying to hide it from me. I tensed, but held my ground, knowing that there was really no where to run. So I sat silently in front of my imposing master, wishing that Heero would come home. Perhaps he could calm the Master, for my presence only seemed to be angering him further as he glared at the table.

I soon noticed what he was staring at. On the table to his left was the bowl, and inside it I assumed were the bars he had removed from me. To his right was the controller that I had hoped in vain never to see again. Though I knew, mentally, that it held no power over me, the sight of it still made me cringe. Before him on the table were scattered a few of the bars, and one had been sliced open with a razor to expose the wires within. There was a battery in either end, and wires through the middle connecting them. I could see the small patch of metal in the middle which allowed the bars to shock me.

"I must admit," he said with a mirthless laugh as he continued to frown somberly at the gadgetry before him, "that this device is ingenious. The outside is covered in a thin layer of rubber, so that the master does not receive a shock when he touches you. Only the very inside is left exposed, and that part is wrapped in skin, so that only you are shocked. The voltage can be lowered to the same amount used to train a dog, or raised so that it could kill a man in mere minutes. The controller allows the Master to raise and lower the voltage whenever he pleases, from wherever he is."

I said nothing, as there was nothing for me to say. I held my silence as Master rose from his seat and came around to my side of the table. I was going to be beaten. I sat very still, hoping that perhaps Master wouldn't hurt me so much if I were still and quiet.

Master slapped my face with a resounding crack, forcing my face to the side. I had to grab the counter to keep myself from falling out of the chair, then worried that I should have fallen to the ground. I could more easily defend myself curled up than I could from the stool.

But no more strikes were forthcoming. Slowly, more out of surprise than daring, I allowed myself to look at Master. He was still giving me an angry look, but he made not move to strike me. Instead, he lifted my chin to look at him.

"Don't you ever," he said forcefully, "ever hide something like that from me again. I will never allow one of my slaves to be tortured and tormented like that. You could have been killed! I do not condone this kind of senseless brutality and I will not have it in my home. Do you understand me? There is nothing, nothing, you could do to warrant such a punishment. I will not have a machine..."

"Nothing?" I wondered incredulously, so struck by the thought that I forgot myself. Master stopped in his rage, but did not drop my eyes.

"Nothing," he said with conviction.

"But...? How can that be? I must have done something... yesterday... for you to..."

"It wasn't your fault. You did nothing wrong. It... was an accident. I know that's no excuse, but I didn't know."

"Didn't... know?"

"No, or I never would have allowed it. I was going to ask you about it when you came back, but... well, you know. I promise you, it will never happen again."

"Never... again? But what if you need to punish me?"

"Then I'll do it without resorting to torment. That wasn't a punishment, Trowa, that was pure cruelty. I won't do that to you."

"I... I don't understand."

"You will," he said softly, wiping tears from my face that I hadn't known were there. "I'll show you. Don't worry, you have all the time in the world," he said, pulling me into his arms. For once, the contact of another body did not bring pain to me, and I could feel years of anguish that I had stored inside draining out of me. Perhaps... just perhaps...


	56. Zechs 55

I felt somewhat bad about slapping Trowa, but it needed to be done. Pain is really not a good reinforcement with slaves who are beaten regularly, but there was no other way for me to translate how strongly I felt about this to him.

And I did feel strongly about it. More than once I contemplated finding the Duke when he was alone and putting the bars in him, to see how he liked it, and only my mission kept me from actually attempting it. And even then, I was barely restrained.

I had been blind to Trowa in the time I knew him before I slapped him. Granting that much of the blindness came from the fact that I had only known him for a few days, it still is not excusable. I needed to know my slaves as well as any lover did. I needed to know how they thought if I was going to have any hopes of keeping them safe.

I hadn't been sure of Trowa because I hadn't know the kind of pain an fear he had lived in. Once I knew, it was easy to see how he had taken the pain and the fear and put it in a box, then closed that box, successfully securing all his emotions from ever surfacing. In the darkness, the box had festered, overcome by the bad emotions and unable to release the good. Where Heero had destroyed his emotions and Quatre had nearly been destroyed by them, Trowa had merely removed them, creating a hollow shell where once stood a person. By removing the bars, effectively taking the symbol of pain and fear from his life, I had lanced the wound, and the poisonous emotions had spilled out, welling up until he let his eyes purge his body of the noxious feelings he had trapped inside. His tears had cleansed my vision, and I was suddenly able to see that he was no better off than my other two.

Heero, for all his progress, still repressed many of his emotions, and still focused on pleasing me as his only purpose. He did not see himself as a person, but merely a tool to be used by the master. I think he was still under the impression that I would abandon that tool were it to break or become obsolete, so he pushed himself farther than I would have ever asked.

Quatre was still battered from his treatment, inside and out, and would probably be timid and distrustful for some time to come. I hoped to one day meet the happy boy I imagined he had been, but I knew that it would take time we did not have.

Trowa had only begun to recover, and the variable of how the other two would take to him still hung in the air. Heero had been skittish, and Quatre had not met him, but we would soon learn if they could get along or not. I could only hope that they would, for even with my best efforts the fighting of my slaves would only cause more pain in the house. As a united force, they could heal each other in ways that I could not hope to, because I was the master, and thus unable to come down to their plane and see what they saw. Even with the horrors I had seen in war, I had never faced such cruel conditions, and I doubted I would be the same if I had. So the only option I could see was to help them heal each other, but I could not force them. Forcing them to help one another would be defeating my own purpose.

Trowa's tears subsided slowly, but eventually they trickled to a stop. I released him long enough to push the remnants of his torment off the table, letting the pieces clatter into the garbage can. The control shattered on the way down, and Trowa watched with an unreadable intent. Once it was over I closed the lid on the now pathetic-looking site, hoping to put it from Trowa's mind.

Then the ordeal was over and I felt all the rage that had empowered me suddenly seep away. I felt as though I could fall asleep on my feet, and from the way Trowa swayed in his seat, he was closer than I was. A few hours of sleep could not make up for months of sleep depravation, nor could one meal reverse the affects of a slow starvation. With that thought in mind, I quickly forced another sandwich into Trowa, who I was pleased to note ate more than he did at the previous meal, grabbed a blanket from the closet, and took him to curl up in front of the TV.

I couldn't help but reminisce as I lay there with Trowa, who was as anxious about laying still in the presence of his master as Heero had been in his first few days. Laying with Trowa was similar to what I had gone through with Heero in that they both needed a physical comfort that masters did not often give at Collar. They had needed to be held, to know that they were cherished, and I found it easy to give that to them. With Trowa, there was an added agenda behind our bonding sessions, as I also knew that I would need to quickly break him from the fear of physical contact that his repeated shocks had brought on. Having him shy away from me in front of the other masters was something I hoped to avoid, for it would show that I had not gained his trust and loyalty, which to them would mean that I was a weak master.

Trowa was also physically different from Heero, as Trowa was tall and slender where Heero was small and compact. I attributed some of this to their heritage, as Heero was Asian, which was a shorter race, and Trowa seemed European, which was one of the tallest races. Despite this obstacle already being against him, I also could tell from his slender bone structure that some of Heero's slight stature was from improper nutrition at critical growing stages. There was a possibility that Sally and I could stimulate his growth hormones with better nutrition and vitamin supplements, but I doubted he would ever regain his biological stature. Trowa, on the other hand, looked as though he were finished growing. At least, I hoped he was old enough to be through most of his growing stages. As it was, he was only a few inches shorter than I was. It would feel strange to look up at one's slave, I thought.

I hadn't really been able to assess Quatre's physical condition well enough to tell if he was still growing or had been stunted. He was a little taller than Heero, but from what I could tell of his health it was most likely simply that he was short, and there was always the possibility that he hadn't hit his growth spurts yet.

When working with boys between the ages of sixteen and twenty, there was always the possibility that they would grow three or four inches in a short period of time. I was well aware of how young the boys really were, and how much of their youth they had missed out on. I could only hope, for their sakes, that I could return some of that youthful happiness to them.


	57. Zechs 56

When Heero arrived home, I was watching a news broadcast, with Trowa dozing on my arm. It was nothing that I hadn't known about six months past due to my work with Preventers, so I wasn't annoyed at the disturbance, and Trowa was sleeping lightly enough that he awoke when Heero sat on the couch opposite us.

"How is Quatre doing?" I wondered.

"He's getting better," Heero said, slumping in his seat, obviously tired. "The doctor says he may be released by the end of the week."

"That's wonderful news. Did you eat dinner?"

"I ate at the hospital, with Quatre."

"Ah. How long ago?"

"A few hours. Why?"

"I was wondering if either of you would join me for a midnight snack. Although... I'm not even sure what time it is. It barely seems to matter around here. Anyway, I'm sure we bought some cookies when we purchased snacks last. They'll only go to waste at this rate. What do you say?"

"I wouldn't mind," Heero replied, and Trowa merely nodded his head against my shoulder, still too shy to speak. I moved to get up, but Heero was up before me. "I'll get it," he said.

"Are you certain?" I asked with a frown. I didn't want him to think I was using him, or showing favoritism. Heero merely smirked in amusement at me.

"I have spent several years as a Collar slave. I don't think a tray of cookies is beyond my capacities."

"Alright, then," I said with a laugh, settling back down as Heero moved into the kitchen. I only settled for a moment, though, because I decided that Trowa would need to sit up to eat, and I saw no hint of him moving on his own.

"Come on, sleepyhead," I teased, sitting up and moving toward the center of the couch, leaving space for Heero on my other side. Trowa obediently moved down, sitting so that his side rested against mine.

Heero returned with a bowl of cookies and three glasses of milk. He handed me the tray before plopping down on my other side, leaning in close to reach the cookies which I situated on my lap. I leaned back, nibbling on my own cookie as the two teenage boys munched their way through several to my single. Ah, the metabolism of youth.

It wasn't long before, bellies full and content, the two boys began to doze off, one leaning on each of my shoulders. It was only when I began to feel myself nodding off, and a subsequent almost dropping of the tray, that I decided it was time for bed.

Quietly, I shifted the tray to the floor, careful not to move the boys. Then, with my skills as an assassin and spy, I managed to slip out from under the two heavily slumbering boys. Trowa almost awoke as the movement of my shoulder, which his head rested one, disturbed his peace, but a quiet command from me had him right back in dreamland. Whether he heard it and intentionally obeyed for my sake or whether he simply did what his body told him he should I was uncertain of, but the result was the same, so it didn't really matter at the time.

Regardless, neither boy woke and I was able to get into a position to pick Heero up without waking Trowa. It was a testament to how exhausted Heero was that he barely stirred when I picked him up, simply mumbled to himself and went back to sleep. I was glad that Heero was wearing only a loose Greek-style robe over his nude body, for I knew I couldn't have undressed him without waking him up. Instead I managed to simply slip him under the covers, then was off for my second burden.

Trowa was completely naked, sleeping quietly on the couch, but nudity had become so much a part of my daily life that I hardly noticed except to realize that I wouldn't need to change him into nightclothes either.

Trowa, unlike Heero, awoke with a startled gasp as I lifted him. He seemed less certain of being carried and I assumed that, because of his height, it was less likely that masters would carry him around. It wasn't difficult for me, being several inches taller than he was, but he seemed awkward in my arms, squirming as though he didn't know how to hold himself. He eventually settled for fisting his hands in my shirt until I instructed him to put them around my neck. A few seconds later, we had reached our destination and I calmly slipped him into bed, then climbed over top of him and settled down between my two slaves. Mindless of each other, one half asleep and one fully there, they both curled against me. I held them both close to me, feeling one of the waves of protectiveness that regularly washed over me.


	58. Quatre 57

Four days after I was sent to the hospital, the doctor finally allowed me to go home. I had been able to walk on my own since yesterday, and I hadn't had a fainting spell for nearly two days. My health, though I was still weak and easily tired, had much improved, and I was feeling better than I had in months. The doctor felt that if I was allowed proper rest and nutrition I would soon be back to full health.

With that prognosis, the doctor released me early the next morning, and I was as eager to return to the apartment as I was nervous. On the one hand, I had been terribly lonely in the hospital, in my tiny white room all alone, and would have probably come undone if it hadn't been for Heero's companionship. He was there every day for nearly five hours, and I knew that he left me to go straight to a work out. I could see it wearing on him, and often felt guilty for putting him through such trouble, but I was far too afraid of being left alone to tell him to stop coming.

Which was one of the reasons I was so nervous about returning to the master. It was possible that he could be angry with me for taking Heero away so often, or because I had left him for so long. Or he could even have decided to let his new slave take my place, and get rid of me.

All this entered my mind as I halted outside the door to the only place that had begun to feel welcoming in years, uncertain of my welcome. I set aside the small white bag of supplies and instructions the hospital had given me and dropped to my knees, the proper position for a message carrying slave or one who had been away for a long period of time. Once in the proper, submissive position, I reached my hand up and rang the doorbell. There were steps only a moment later and my heart jumped to my throat as I heard master's heavy, bold steps come to the door. The handle turned, the door opened, and master simply stared down at me in surprise for a moment. I lowered my head, begging silently for him to do something.

Please, don't turn me away!

"Quatre!" he shouted, falling to his knees beside me, a grin lighting his face. "Are you alright? What are you doing here? You look great! Can you stand? Eh, never mind, that's not important," he said, lifting me from the floor, giving me only time enough to grab my bag before carting me into the room. "Heero said you wouldn't be out until the end of the week! You didn't sneak away, did you? No, you're too good-hearted for that, aren't you, angel face? It seems like you've been gone forever! So much has happened! But, I can tell you about that after you tell me all about your hospital stay. Were they kind to you?" he asked, placing me on the couch, then seating himself on the adjacent one and listening to me with interest. It took me a moment to realize that I was actually being given time to respond.

"Uh-yes, they were very kind. But they were very busy, too, and I was lonely."

"But Heero came every day, right?"

"Of course, but he was only allowed to stay for a few hours, then the doctor made him leave."

"And he went straight to the gym, I'll suppose. Persistent boy. But what of your treatment?"

"I don't really remember the first day, but I know they used some kind of machine to clean and seal the wounds. After that they merely checked them every day, made me take lots of pills, drink lots of fluids, and sleep a lot."

"Well, I'm certain we can do that here just as well. The other two are enjoying that last option themselves."

"They're still sleeping?" I asked. It was early, but not that early.

"Yes. You know how hard Heero's been pushing himself, and Trowa isn't in the best shape because of his previous master's treatment."

"Trowa... what is he like?" I questioned hesitantly. Master replied instantly.

"Shy. I think you'll like him. He's quiet, but he says a lot with the few words he uses. I want you two to get along."

"What does Heero think of him?"

"I... honestly don't know. Heero is still so guarded around him, and Trowa won't take the initiative to get close to him. I don't think they've made any progress at all other than deciding not to hate each other."

"Oh," I said. That didn't sound overly promising, but it wasn't the worst report, either. And it would be very much of Heero's nature to reserve judgement until he had a full view of Trowa's character.

"Do you want to see him?" master asked, a playful grin on his face. "You could sneak over and take a peak. I won't tell," he said, then stood. "I'll take your bag, if you want," he offered, and I quickly shook my head.

"No, it's alright. I'll- uh... I'll put it in the second bathroom, so it won't be in the way," I said quicky. I didn't want master going through my bag and asking questions about my medicine yet. I wasn't sure of my place in the house anymore, and I wanted to be sure to secure it before I brought up that subject with master.

"Alright, then, I need to get a shower, then we can have breakfast and I can introduce you to Trowa. Do you need me to wake Heero up, or are you alright by yourself?"

"I'm fine. I'm not really sick anymore, I'm just weak."

"As would be expected after what you've been through. Don't worry, though, you'll feel better soon enough," he said, then patted me on the head and walked to the bedroom. When I heard the water start in the other room, I hurried to the slave's bathroom. I had never been to the slave's quarters before, but Heero had pointed them out to me. It was much smaller than the master sweet, as I had assumed. I put most of my medicine into the cupboard, but one bottle under the sink, hoping no one would find it before I had time to talk to master in private. It would be easy for someone to... make the wrong assumption, were they to see it. I wanted to explain my situation to master, but only once I was sure he wouldn't turn me out. I couldn't take that.

Once I was finished stashing my medication, I wasn't really certain where to go. I didn't feel like being alone, and master's earlier offer echoed through my head, so I tiptoed out of the slaves quarters and up to the master's bedroom. A lamp was on and, peering through the dim light. I could make out two forms in the bed. The smaller one I recognized as Heero, so I assumed that the taller must be Trowa. I peered closely. He was tall, lean, and somewhat muscled, but thinner than he should have been. His face was relaxed but blank, neither pleased nor pained. His hair was mussed, and the style was odd, with most of it falling forward over his face into one big bang, which had been pushed to the side only enough to reveal one eye.

An eye which, as though sensing my presence, opened to disclose a startling emerald orb.


	59. Trowa 58

The blond in the doorway was not master, I noticed immediately. For one thing, he was about a foot and a half shorter than master, with slender shoulders where master had broad, and a nervous stance, where master's was always bold and commanding. While master's hair was long with a deep golden color, this boy's was short, with a lighter yellow color. Their eyes were of the same shade, but where master's were always fearless with the underlying weight of responsibility, this boy's were fearful, with a kindness underneath that was hard to come by in slaves.

For I did realize, easily, that he was master's other slave. It was easy to tell, as I had been told he was coming home soon, and that he had been in the hospital, and this boy was still wearing the simple white robe from the hospital.

I expected him to turn away when I looked at him, but he didn't, instead watching me with interest I wasn't sure I deserved. Unnerved by his stare, I rose slowly from the bed, careful not to wake Heero, who was sleeping quietly beside me. Heero seemed to find me a mild annoyance as it was, I didn't want to make myself any more troublesome.

Once out of the bed, I realized, though I had actually known for quite a while, that I was naked. Quatre's eyes, as the traveled up my body from my feet to my face, made me blush, a sensation I had not felt in a long time. His eyes met mine, and I was captivated. It wasn't like he was sizing me up, or checking out my physique, which I would have understood. It seemed like... we was looking at my soul. It unnerved me, and I had to look away from him. Turning my head seemed to break the spell, and I was finally able to gain enough power over my body to walk toward him. Casting a glance at Heero, who was still sound asleep, he backed out of the doorway, allowing me to follow.

Once in the den I was able to get a better look at him. He was as beautiful as I had originally expected; slim, with the delicate features and small frame that masters searched for. It was so very unlike mine, which was taller than most masters would tolerate, with large hands and strong features. His eyes were the clearest blue, lighter than either master or Heero's, and his blonde hair was like sunlight. My eyes had been turned green by a heritage I had no knowledge of, and my hair was the color of moist dirt. Sometimes I wondered why even the Duke cast a second glance at me, as cruel as his intentions had been.

I stared at him, stupidly, for several minutes before he cleared his throat and offered me his hand.

"I'm Quatre. You must be Trowa. It's nice to meet you," he said, still holding his hand out. I hesitated to shake it. The bars had quickly taught my body that touch was bad, and only master had ever done anything to the contrary of that idea. I was grateful to Heero for being civil toward me when he obviously had reason to be hostile, but I knew that it was mostly master's influence that kept him from abusing me that way the other slaves had. This boy, who had the face of an angel and the manners of an aristocrat, must have been master's favorite, and thus would be above being scolded for picking on a newer, homelier slave. There was no reason for him to show kindness to me.

But his eyes showed nothing of the viscousness that I knew to be in the heart of most slaves. They were sincerer, as far as I could tell, having so few times seen that emotion, and almost pleading, as he held his hand out to me in a gesture of good will. With both my mind and body screaming that it was a trap, my heart could not deny such an act, and I found my own hand slowly raising to meet his.

His skin was soft in my palm, so much so that I worried he would be offended by the callousness of my own. But there was a strength in his shake that had nothing to do with the physical. While I could feel hand trembling in my own, there was an assurance of the reception there that told of high hopes for the future. I had seen these hopes suffocate under the pressures of slavery far too often to allow any of my own.

The trembling of his hand concerned me, and as I followed the flow of his wrist up his arm I could see that the shaking extended to his whole body. As my eyes rested on his face I could see that it was heavily strained. Quatre's eyes met mine, and he smiled brightly. Then, only a moment later, those eyes closed and his knees buckled.

I had been prepared by his shaking that something was about to happen, but still I could barely catch him before he hit the ground. Had he not been so light I would have gone down with him instead of pulling him into my arms. But he was eerily light, and I wondered for a moment if the master had denied him food. My heart jumped to my throat, but I recalled a moment later that he had been in the hospital. I knew that the hospital only gave the best care, no matter who the slave belonged to or what he had done. From my days working with the circus animals when I was younger I also knew how easily a being could lose weight if they were ill, and decided that this was the most probably answer.

"Quatre? Trowa, what happened?" I heard from the doorway and looked up to see master hurry toward us. I felt my stomach drop. It would be easy to take the blame for Quatre's sudden lapse. If he were to wake and say that I had struck him, or pushed him, or anything, master would take his word over mine. Perhaps he even fainted with this very situation in mind, hoping that I would be caught red-handed. And his smile was not for my friendship, but for my stupidity.

I wanted to say something, to tell master what had happened, but my mouth refused to open as master rushed up and took Quatre from me. I felt ill, and wondered if I would be able to get my mouth open if I began to feel nauseous. The blood was pounding in my head, which was strange, because I could feel it all rushing to my feet. My head felt lighter because of it, but still the pounding didn't stop.

"Trowa," master snapped, depositing Quatre on the couch, "What happened?"

"He..." I started, but faltered as a wave of sickness passed over me. "He... was shaking... then fell..." I said, but wasn't able to get any more out. Master had quickly checked Quatre's breathing and pulse as I spoke, and now turned his eyes on me.

"Like you're going to do if you don't sit down. You're white as a sheet," he said, pulling me to sit at Quatre's feet on the couch as he knelt in front of me. A hand was placed on my forehead, but I was too busy worrying about the tilting of the room to notice it.

"You don't have a fever. Put your head between you knees for a minute and focus on your breathing. I don't want you going into shock," he said, then turned back to Quatre, who had begun to stir.

"Quatre, little one, are you alright?" he asked, and I felt the room lurch again. I almost hoped that Quatre would faint again, so that he couldn't say anything to incriminate me. I had begun to like it here, and I didn't want to leave master, but I doubted that I deserved such kindness. There was really nothing I could do about it anyway. I couldn't even get my mouth to open.

"I'm alright," Quatre whispered huskily, "Where's Trowa?" he asked, looking around. I tensed my shoulders, hoping the floor would swallow me.

"He's here. I made him sit down," master said, keeping a close eye on Quatre. Quatre noticed me at the bottom of the couch and suddenly struggled to sit up.

"What's wrong with him?" he asked, half way to a panic, reaching toward me, "He didn't do anything wrong! I was the one who was stupid! It wasn't his fault I-..."

"Shh! Quatre, calm down! He's not in trouble any more than you are. I just think seeing you pass out, along with the fact that he's also not in prime health, was too much of a shock to his system. He just need to sit down a few minutes. You gave us both quite a scare," master said, still pressing Quatre down.

"Oh," he responded, allowing himself to be pushed back to the couch. "Well, as long as he's not being blamed. It was really my fault. The doctors said I shouldn't be on my feet more than a few minutes at a time, and I walked all the way back here... but I didn't want to wait for the orderlies... that could have taken forever... and... I was so excited... to see you all... I just..." he said, but it was easy to see that sleep was pulling heavily on him, and in another moment his eyes drifted shut.

"Well, I suppose that's that," master said with half a smile. "Do you mind staying here, with him?" master asked. "I really don't want to leave him alone, and I need to wake Heero and order some breakfast. I'm not really sure you should be up yet, either. You're still recovering from that shock, and from the starvation before it. Lay here with Quatre, and try to get some rest," he instructed kindly. My body, which had just come down from such a panic high, felt like lead, and I wasn't sure I could have risen if master had asked me to. So I nodded, and master smiled kindly, then helped me put my feet up on the couch and covered Quatre and me with a blanket before going back to the bedroom.

"I never thanked you for catching me," Quatre said, startling me, as I had thought him to be asleep. His drooping eyes, however, told me that he was still not far from it. "You did catch me, didn't you?"

I nodded in response, and he smiled that joyous smile again. I wasn't sure how any slave could wear such a smile, but I wouldn't complain. Simply basking in the smile's glow was closer to happiness than I had been in a long time.

"Things are different here," Quatre said suddenly and I wondered what he was talking about. "Things are different with this master. I was never close to any other slave before, but Heero and I are like brothers. You and I will be friends too, I just know it. Everything works out under master. You and I will be good friends, I promise."

Again I looked for deceit behind that words, and again I could find nothing. And, while my mind was still trying to process what had so recently happened, my heart was lunging at the first hope of kindness it had seen in a long time. Before I knew it, I had outstretched my hand to him and, unlike me, he did not hesitate to take it.

"Thank you," I muttered, my voice so quiet that I wasn't sure he had heard me, but his eyes suddenly lit up, and I knew he had.


	60. Zechs 59

Heero showed he was happy Quatre was back the same way he showed most of his emotions, which was almost not at all. If you didn't really look at Heero you probably would have thought he didn't care, but if you watched you could see him look up every few seconds to verify that Quatre was alright.

He also, consciously or not, moved between Trowa and Quatre just as often as he checked up on Quatre. I was sure that Heero didn't have any ill-will against Trowa, or I would have been sure to talk to him, but I also had realized just how protective Heero was. Quatre was injured, and Trowa was the newcomer, and that meant by Heero's standards that he was not to be trusted. Heero seemed certain that he would try to harm our little blonde.

I, on the other hand, could see a completely different scenario every time Heero stepped out of the room. With Heero gone, Trowa would relax somewhat around Quatre, doting on him like a puppy to his child. It seemed that, whatever had passed between Quatre and Trowa while they were supposed to be resting on the couch had earned Quatre Trowa's loyalty, which seemed almost as strong as Heero's, though a little less assertive. Quatre, for his part, was radiant with happiness, so glad to have made a new friend. It seemed that Quatre was more than ready to act the part of a normal teenage, as much as one could in the setting that we were given. He was attentive to Trowa and even managed to coerce some words out of the shy and almost silent boy. If I wasn't wrong, I could see the very beginnings of a crush developing. I wasn't sure I wanted to deal with teenage romance, for I well remembered its horrors from my own teenage years, but I was far from trying to deny these boys anything that could pass for normal.

And the only way this crush could possibly develop without being strangled at birth was for me to allow the two boys some time to get to know each other, away from the pressures of serving me and the stifling presence of "big brother" Heero. Of course, before I put my plan in to action, I made sure to consult Quatre, simply to make sure that he would feel comfortable staying alone with Trowa. I trusted the quiet boy enough to leave Quatre, but I wouldn't push them if they weren't ready for that. Quatre, however, took the suggestion with so much grace that I was sure if I had left them for a week neither would have complained.

And so, during dinner, I made my move.

"Heero, have you ever been to a spa?" I asked innocently enough.

"No, master, I haven't," he replied, still looking at his beef tender loin, cutting it with a resolve that would have made one think it was worn leather.

"Excellent. I want you to accompany me to one later tonight," I said, causing him to look up in surprise.

"Tonight?" he echoed.

"Yep, right after dinner has settled."

"But... how long will we be gone for?"

"We'll get back pretty early tomorrow morning."

"I can't... Quatre shouldn't be alone that long. The doctors said-..."

"Quatre won't be alone. Trowa can keep an eye on him."

"But-..."

"Enough, Heero. My mind has been made up," I said, hardening my tone. Heero looked, to my trained eye, somewhat stricken, and cast a worried glance at Quatre. Quatre, for his part, tried to reassure Heero with a look that said he would be fine, but failed to get the message across. Sullen and worried, Heero settled for glaring at Trowa, as though he had asked for this to happen. Not the outcome I had hoped for, obviously, but I would have to accept it and hope for the best.

We finished dinner in near silence, only polite words that table etiquette demanded being spoken. Once the table was cleared I saw Heero pull Quatre off to the side to speak in private with him. I had hoped that the blonde could put my dark haired slave at ease, but when the two entered Quatre looked vaguely annoyed and Heero was as tense as ever. It seemed even Quatre's charms could not overcome Heero's anal protective streak. It would be up to me to relax Angel, a job I hoped the bath would help instead of hinder.

After giving quiet instructions to Trowa to keep the door locked, and where the food was, and how to reach us in an emergency, and after being scolded by Quatre for treating Trowa like a babysitter and him like a baby, and after receiving several sullen glares from Heero, I finally managed to get one of my slaves out the door while locking two of them behind it. Heero was still angry, which was only a shallow cover for the worry he felt for Quatre. I understood his worry, but I was forced to ignore it. I needed my slaves to trust one another, and giving Quatre and Trowa time alone would bring them closer, causing my slaves to become a tighter group. If only Heero could so readily accept my newest slave, but I knew Heero had seen far too much pain for that.


	61. Zechs 60

The spa was about what I had expected, only more private, which I was grateful for. Once we signed up with the slave at the front desk we were escorted to a private bathing room. There was a large, almost pool-size tub, and bar, and a large set of shelves housing bath items like towels, soap, lotion, and other such products.

_Removed for content._


	62. Zechs 61

_Removed for content._

"It's a good thing these steps are here," I said after my breathing had evened out, "Or we both would have probably drowned."

Heero hummed an affirmative, but didn't seem at all concerned about what could have been a near death experience. I chuckled lightly. From the look on Heero's face, we probably could have been in a tank with hungry sharks and he still wouldn't have bothered to move.


	63. Heero 62

It was morning by the time Master and I returned to the apartment. Master had used pleasure to quiet the tension in my body at the bath, but once away from the soothing waters I had again become concerned. Though morning was about the time we were expected back, I felt that we had been out far too long. I still didn't trust Trowa, and it worried me that Quatre and Master both did. If he should try to hurt Quatre in Quatre's current state, there was nothing the little blonde could do It was illogical to leave an injured slave with a new slave, and I didn't understand how Master could trust him so much already. We barely knew him.

By the time I reached the door, I was almost in a panic, and could barely wait for Master to type in the code to unlock the door. Once it was open, I was right on Master's heels as we entered, my eyes already sweeping for Quatre.

I found him, asleep in front of the couch, his head resting on Trowa's lap. Trowa had also fallen asleep, his head falling to his shoulder. They looked so natural together, so peaceful and complete.

I couldn't understand it. How could they be so relaxed together after so little time? Even Quatre, who I had helped nurse back to health, had been wary of me for several days. How could this boy, who spoke even less than I did, so firmly seat himself with both Master and Quatre in only a few days? And Quatre hadn't even known him that long, for they had only met the day before! I couldn't... understand...

Master came up behind me, placing a hand on my shoulder and startling me from my thoughts. I turned to him, hoping he would not see the confusion inside me. I was lucky, for he was tired. He certainly would have noticed otherwise.

"Why don't you go turn down the bed?" he asked, lovingly running his hand through my hair. "I'll wake Trowa and bring Quatre in once you're done."

I nodded and obeyed, partially because I felt I had to, and partially because I didn't know what else to do. I didn't... I didn't want Trowa in our bed, not because there was anything wrong with him, but... because whatever space he took left that much less for me. My fear that he would be able to push me out still nagged at the very bottom of my soul, and it seemed more and more as though my intuition was correct. But could I begrudge him the same fate that had befallen me? It was through no efforts of my own that master had found me, and likewise had master found him. Perhaps fate was merely retracting the good luck she had bestowed upon me. The ebb and flow of life.

Perhaps the most infuriating quality of Trowa was there was nothing about him to hate. He was quiet, shy, and reserved in an unimposing and unassuming way. He was quick to take commands, and even quicker to offer help. He could tolerate extreme amounts of discomfort without complaint. He was never rebellious or disobedient, instead being perfectly submissive.

It was as though Trowa were me, except better. Instead of destroying his feelings, he had hidden them, and every now and then Quatre or Master could call them forth, just for an instant. It was easy to believe that Trowa would be able to open himself fully to both of them in a few weeks, at most. I, on the other hand, had been with Master nearly two months, and still could not express my emotions to him. When something troubled me, I would allow myself to go blank instead of feeling with the pain and dealing with it. It was cowardly, and I was ashamed of it, but helpless to stop it.

I couldn't help but sigh softly as I turned down the covers and rub my chest. There was a dull ache there that would not fade, a ball of fear and pain. I was trying to keep it there, to feel it instead of blocking it, but whenever I saw Trowa and Quatre so close... It was as though my body were rejecting the emotions. As though it could not sustain pain any longer, having lived by shutting it out for so long. Once the pain was gone, there was only a cold sort of emptiness left, which hurt in an entirely different way, but hurt just the same.

Master came in carrying Quatre then, Trowa following at his heels, sleepily rubbing his eyes. Master put Quatre down on the bed, and the blonde boy woke up just enough to move toward the middle, allowing Trowa room to slide in. I let Master slide in first on the other side, then slid in beside him. I didn't want to sleep next to Quatre, because Trowa would be so close to him, and I needed to keep my distance from Trowa. I did not want to like the other boy, because liking him would mean lowering my defenses, and lowering my defenses to my rival was unthinkable.

I climbed into bed, and Master pulled me against his chest. I molded well, having slept like that almost every night since I had become Master's slave. Over his shoulder I could see Trowa and Quatre curled together, the blonde haired head resting beneath the green-eyed boy's chin. They were beautiful together, so calm and serene, but I felt no pain in admitting this as I nestled myself in Master's arms. They were together... but I was not alone. I knew Master felt a bond with me, stronger than with the other two, because I had been his first slave, and because he had been intimate with me most often. Maybe... Just maybe... I could be happy with them after all. Perhaps Trowa would not push me out. And Quatre did not ignore me, nor did I receive any less attention from him or Master. Maybe everything would be alright, if Quatre had his partner and I had mine. Maybe everything would be alright...

As long as I remained Master's favorite. 


	64. Zechs 63

As soon as I awakened the next morning, I received word that Dragon, my newest acquisition, was coming later that day. This news came along with a note from the renowned Owner of Collar, the man I needed to meet in order to end this hellish mission. 

Heero had already left early in the morning to train and to restock the refrigerator, something I hadn't remembered he did until he asked me if there as anything I wanted. It seemed I had truly overlooked the workload my first slave had put on himself. Along with spending three hours every morning training to get himself back into shape for Collar, Heero also kept the refrigerator and cupboards stocked with food, made sure the entire apartment was clean, washed everyone's casual clothes, and handled the dry cleaning of everyone's costumes. He had been the one to buy sleep wear and casual clothing for both Quatre and Trowa, and had made sure each of them wore the collar with my insignia. I hadn't even thought he knew about them, and never would have remembered if he hadn't asked me to purchase more, since we only had one left. He handled pretty much everything, and still had time to accompany me to parties in the evening.

It made me glad I had taken in Trowa, for the extra weight of Quatre's care would have been far too much for Heero. And Trowa was an excellent nursemaid to Quatre. He was gentle, kind, and patient. Also, though he was still physically pretty strong, he was recovering from Duke's treatment, and had no problem sleeping as much as Quatre, who required a lot of rest to recover from his wounds. Heero would have volunteered to nurse Quatre in a heartbeat, but the constant hours of nothing to do would have driven him batty.

Despite the fact that my slaves had once again settled to new arrangements, I worried about bringing another slave into the mix. Quatre, for all his progress, was still a little skittish around me, and I didn't think I had his full trust quite yet. Trowa was still settling, though he seemed to have adjusted pretty well, I worried that another slave might send him back into his shell. But Heero was the one I was most worried about. The addition of Trowa had given Quatre another friend, leaving less time for him to be with Heero. It wasn't so much that Heero was jealous of Trowa as he was terrified of losing Quatre, who was his first real friend. I worried that adding yet another slave would upset him more, and maybe make him question his relationship with me.

But, despite all my reasons for not accepting another slave, I had already made the choice, and there was no way I could back out of it now. By dusk, the Dragon would be mine, and all I could do was to prepare myself, so I checked to make sure my two slaves were sleeping and, knowing that Heero would be gone several more hours, I sat down in the kitchen to read the Owner's note.

_Greetings, Master Zechs. I hope these times find you well and prosperous. I must admit, it feels strange to bestow my prized Dragon upon a perfect stranger, and yet what I have seen of your temperament and the treatment of your own slaves, along with the recommendations of the other masters, I believe you are trustworthy. Though you do not know who I am, it feels as though we are intimately acquainted._

_And so, I will spare no time with flowery words. Your only concern for the time being is my Dragon, and so I will enlighten you to him. He is headstrong, arrogant, and defiant to all master so far but myself. He is proud and honorable, and I trust him explicitly in that his honor will not allow him to lie or make false promises. If he tells me that you have mistreated him, I will believe him, because he would not lie even to save his own life._

_There are many rumors as to what I allow a master to do with my slave. I shall clarify now what your role is to be; For as long as Dragon is in your possession, he is your slave. You may punish him in any way that you see fit, save that you may not scar him, nor may you starve him for more than three days at a time, and after which point he must be fed regularly for a week._

_There is only one way to gain the obedience of my Dragon. In a one on one fight, you must over power him physically, or master his mind in a game of Chess or Go. Only by dominating him in one of his two areas may you win his submission, and only then may you bed him. His honor dictates that he bend to your will if you best him, and he will no longer fight you. If you are not able to best him, he will remain civil, but he will ignore many or all of your orders. He is a constant challenge to masters who cannot defeat him._

_Let me caution you, I will not allow an unfair fight against my Dragon. You may not drug him before the battle, nor may you give yourself any drugs. If you have a slave fight in your place, that slave must not have any enhancements in his body. The fight must be hand-to-hand, or with blunted swords, to ensure that Dragon is not scarred._

_Dragon is a scholar, master of the martial arts, and has taken several first places in Collar. To defeat him in a fair fight one must be strong, with a quick mind, and a fighting style that can bend to the weakness of an opponent. Dragon has only ever once been bested, and that was by myself._

_Because of his strength and his association with me, Dragon is often attacked, sometimes even in his bed, by slaves or masters who wish to gain my attention. You may be careful to lock your door to keep these invaders out, but do not take too much trouble on Dragon's behalf. He is well able to take care of himself, and may feel the suffering if he is not. A salve unable to defend itself is useless to me. As long as he is not delivered into the hands of those who can harm him, must be able to watch out for himself._

_I wish you luck._

_Owner._


	65. Zechs 64

The boy arrived around dusk, a few hours later. My slaves had finished breakfast and Quatre and Trowa had gone back to sleep, while Heero had run off to get the dry-cleaning. I carefully closed the bedroom door before answering the doorbell, hoping the other two would no wake and come to investigate. I felt I needed to address Dragon on my own first.

It was the same boy as the other night that I opened the door to now. He was still withdrawn from our world, seeming as though he could not be bothered to come down to our plane. There was a haughty air around him, a sullen demeanor the showed a reluctance to be in my presence. Still, underneath all that I again saw a proud, lonely, pained young boy. He had not allowed himself to be broken by the trials of slavery, and I respected him for that.

And now, I would crush him because of it.

"Dragon," I said, motioning for him to enter. He did so without hesitation, without any kind of self-confidence, and without any kind of gratitude towards me. No, he was not like my other slaves at all.

"I suppose the Owner has contacted you," he said, glaring at me, his nose tilted just lightly upward, as though I were dirty.

"He has," I responded passively. I would not be drawn into a battle on his ground. No, he would meet me on even turf.

"Then you know that I will not submit to you so readily. You must beat me in strength or intelligence for me to become your slave and allow you to whip me like a dog. If you expect me to lie on my back for you like a woman, you had better be skilled in the arts of war," he said, sneering at me. But I would not let him rile me. I knew well what his game was, and I had anticipated from his entrance that he would attempt to antagonize me. If I were to lose control during the battle, I would have no chance to win against him. Even now, as I saw the way his body naturally moved with a fighter's grace, I worried about the outcome of the fight.

"We shall find out soon enough," I promised. "Are you ready to begin our fight?" I asked. He glanced around the room, then moved into a defensive stance. I laughed at him. "If you don't mind, I would prefer to keep my furniture as it is. I'm certain we can find an empty room in the gym," I commented, still smiling with tense mirth. Dragon snarled, blushing bright red. Inadvertently, I was already one ahead of him in the fight, for he was slightly unsettled, and I was still calm. "Let me tell my slaves that I am going," I said, tilting my head toward the bedroom. He rose, cautiously, from his fighting stance, then nodded once, as though I needed his permission.

It was infuriating, his actions toward me, since I was taller, older, and higher ranking, but on another level it was deeply satisfying. It was the first time in almost a month that another person had challenged me, disrespected me, talked back to me, or anything else that normal interactions created every day. It was as aggravating as it was refreshing.

I quickly slipped into the bedroom, leaving Dragon in the hall, and crossed the room to Trowa's side. He and Quatre were curled together, so much so that I had to be extra careful shaking Trowa's shoulder as not to wake Quatre. I needn't have bothered, though, as Trowa's eye snapped open upon my first touch.

"I'm going out for a while," I whispered to him, "take care of Quatre, and ask Heero to make the necessary excuses for tonight, as I don't believe I will be going out. Make sure you eat dinner, and give Quatre his pills after he eats. Don't let Heero try to come find me, alright?" I asked, and Trowa merely nodded his head, taking in my words without questioning my actions. I smiled to myself as I rose, wondering what Dragon's response would have been had I posed the same proposition to him. I didn't doubt his reply would have used several expletives, and probably required me to kiss a currently covered part of his body. Not that I would mind, for, despite or possibly because of his proud demeanor, he was quite beautiful to behold. With his golden skin and raven hair, he was like an oriental deity, and his perfect fighter's physique only added to his allure. His stance gave off a masculine feel, while his height and size radiated submission. It was what every master dreamed of, the challenge of subduing a gorgeous and powerful slave.

My dreams were far from breaking the soul of a beautiful boy, but I found that I would probably be attempting it soon anyway. Would there be any way for the boy to remain in tact, if I were to defeat him? Certainly he had survived the Owner's domination, but there had been no master since who had defeated him. The match itself would be a close draw, but I was fairly confident that I could defeat the boy. After all, I was older, larger, stronger, and with more experience. While the boy had obviously studied hard and looked quick and graceful, it seemed from his tough demeanor that he would have trouble quickly changing fighting styles. I could use that to my advantage. But... I dreaded seeing the fire behind those eyes smolder into nothing. But could I really risk keeping him, endangering my other slaves, if he would not listen to me? The disrespect I could handle, as angry subordinates often cursed their superiors under their breaths, but I would never allow a subordinate who even hesitated to obey my orders anywhere near a battle. Was this so different?

All this passed through my mind on the short walk from the bedroom to the den, where Dragon still stood, impatiently awaiting my return.


	66. Zechs 65

The trip to the gymnasium was taken in silence, and upon arriving I found that a room had already been reserved by the Owner for just such an occasion. It was not huge, but imitated a dojo, right down to the padded floor. It would make fighting easy, while minimizing the risk of injury to either Dragon or myself. One of the slaves at the door offered to referee the fight, but I turned him down. I wasn't worried that Dragon would seriously injure me if he had the chance, for he seemed honorable enough, and I knew that I would refrain from injuring him. I also didn't want any interruptions in our battle, for only with a true battle could I prove my superiority. There would be no rules in this battle save to fight honorably, and the outcome would conclusively prove the superior man.

"Weapons or no?" I asked, indicating the wall of blunted practice weapons. He merely hmphed and picked up a dull broadsword. I smiled, then choose a rapier and tested it for weight and balance. Finding it substandard, I chose another, finding this one to be suitable. Our weapons may have been comical to an onlooker, for I, the large, had chosen a small rapier, while he, clearly smaller, had chosen a large, heavy sword. But there was nothing humorous enough to entice a smile from either of us, and I wondered if the stone-faced youth before me had ever smiled.

We faced each other and bowed solemnly, each eyeing the other for weaknesses or flaws. Tension was high. Despite the fact that these weapons were blunted, they could still cause serious damage, or even death. But there was more than simply wounds on the line. We were fighting for pride, honor, and superiority. One to gain mastery, one to avoid servitude. Polar opposites of the same strength.

I hoped that my small, light rapier could find its way around his heavy sword, as speed would most likely be my main weakness in our battle, now one of my strengths. Dragon, likewise, had chosen a weapon that used strong attacks, to offset the fact that I was stronger. On the one hand, a direct blow from hi sword to mine would definitely cause mine to break, but if I could cause him to lower his sword for only a second I could win before he had time to pull his weapon back up. There was no way to tell who was at an advantage.

Dragon made the first move, as I knew he would, young and impatient as he was. He struck at me with the heavy sword, but because of the weapon's weight it was to slow to catch me, and I easily slid out of the way. I hoped to end the battle right there, by brining my sword to strike Dragon as his was still descending and, unable to turn the heavy weight so quickly, I would have had him had he not moved his body behind the sword, using it almost like a pointed shield. My blow missed him and met with startling strength of his sword. The reverberations of my sword went all the way up my arm and caused me to fumble for a moment, unable to feel my hand or get a proper grip on my sword. Dragon used this to his advantage and quickly swung his sword at me. I had not choice but to awkwardly throw myself out of the way. Those few seconds that I fled, however, allowed the feeling to return to my fingers, and I once again gained a hold on my sword. When he rushed me the second time, I was able to parry his blow, sending him stumbling past me with too much force. Concerned that he would hurt himself by falling on his own sword, I attempted to put my hand on his shoulder, but instead ran it down his back as he hurled himself to the side. He landed on his bottom, the sword beside him, which was actually a better position than landing with his sword under him would have been had it not been for the fact that he was obviously flustered.

"Don't touch me, kisama!" he yelled, his eyes blazing with fury, that I had dared to touch his person.

Ah. So that was his weak point. I may have underestimated him, since he obviously could handle a sword like a master, but he was only human.

"Afraid of a little human contact, Dragon?" purred, intentionally riling him. He, as I expected, bushed deeply and growled.

"Brazen cur!" he shouted, leaping at me. He brought his sword up in a smooth arc and sent it crashing down to the floor where I had been standing only a moment before. As I dodged sleekly behind him, I let my hand trail down his back, and gave his firm rear a quick pinch. He roared in anger, barely bothering to pick his sword up from the ground before bringing it around and trying to slices at my legs. He face was bright red and he was snarling like an angered animal.

I laughed, although it hurt me to have to do such a thing to him. Behind the anger that he hid behind, there was real fear and shame, and I felt like a cad for causing him to feel that way. I didn't so much feel bad about my method, for in a game of war the only true rule is to use your enemy's weakness against him, but I gained no pleasure in touching his body only to provoke him.

As his arm was across his chest, carried there by the momentum of his sword, I grabbed his wrist and dodged in, giving him a quick kiss on the cheek. Though it was merely a peck, he jumped as though I had licked him, then scrubbed his face with his free hand.

"You won't own me!" he shouted, rushing me again.

"You're already owned!" I responded, again dodging his blow. This time, as he went passed me, I managed to thrust my elbow into his diaphragm, knocking him off balance. He stumbled and almost fell onto me, but scrambled so hard the he twisted his ankle to make sure he fell away from me. He hit the matted floor with a thud and I paused to make certain he was alright, but he was on his feet again in mere seconds, favoring his injured foot visibly.

Now, with his injury, it was clear that he was on the defensive, and I had the visible advantage. Since my weapon was quick and his was slow, he had banked on being able to come at me, to put me on the defensive, so that I could not use my quick moves to get behind his. Despite this, he was able to dodge or shield my blows for several minutes, visibly becoming tired as the heavy sword weighted him down. The broadsword was made for short battles, while a rapier fight could go on for hours.

His fateful mistake came from desperation, as he could see that I would merely wear him down if he stayed defensive. So, impetuously, he turned aside my blow and attempted to strike his own, working with tired muscles, and in close combat. Easily I brought my sword around his and cracked his knuckles with the flat side of my rapier, knocking the sword from his hand, then used my shoulder to shove him away from where the sword had fallen, so that he could not leap to retrieve it. By the time he hit the floor, my sword was already at his throat.


	67. Zechs 66

He stared up at me from the floor, as though he could not possibly imagine what had just happened. His eyes followed the tip of my sword up the blade, and then my arm, and to my face, where they finally came to rest with an unbelieving sort of look. And then the realization hit him, and he lowered his eyes, the color draining out of his face.

I knelt in front of him, between his splayed legs as he reclined on his elbows. My sword lay where I had dropped it, his where it had fallen, and both weapons seemed forgotten.

"The conditions have been met," I said, my voice cracking like thunder through the silent room. Only the sound of our breathing could be heard, like rain in the background. "I am now your master, and you will obey me as such. I promise that I will not scar or starve you, but anything else is mine to command. You belong to me for the duration that you stay with me. Your mind and body are mine."

I leaned close to him, watching his eyes as he nodded unfeelingly. They were blank, and I worried for a moment that he would go into shock, but he was not shaking, so I decided it was merely disbelief.

_Removed for content._

I lifted him from the floor. He was rigid in my arms, his face red with furry and embarrassment.

"Must you humiliate me as well?" he growled from my arms.

"Don't be ridiculous," I responded. "You're ankle is sprained. You cannot possibly walk back to the room on it."

"Pain in my leg is much better than pain in my soul," he responded, "I am not weak."

"Perhaps not weak," I bantered, "but certainly foolish to walk all that way for mere pride."

"You know nothing of me!" he snapped. "Nor of your slaves! The most prized possession of any slave if pride, and the first piece of them ripped away by their masters as well!"

"Hush," I chided, "You know less of slavery than I. At least I know that pride is the last thing any person thinks of with an empty belly and a whip at their backs. I do not do this to break your soul, I do this to keep you from breaking your ankle. Now, I command you to be silent."

He huffed, but his honor would not let him refuse a command, now that I had met our agreement. I was pleased that he had not broken to me, but concerned still. He had no respect for me, and I still could not be sure he wouldn't prove to be a detriment to my mastery. I could not let my reputation suffer, however I doubted Dragon could do that much damage in a week. After that, if he still proved to be too much of a handful, I could merely refuse to take him again.

It was quiet as I left the dojo, with Dragon fuming in my arms. His pants had been haphazardly tossed over my shoulder, but the longer boxers he wore seemed almost prudish amongst all the naked boys. Still, we received several stares as I returned to the room, and I had no doubt that word of this walk would soon spread to the rest of Collar. On the one hand, I knew it would be good for my reputation, but on the other I had truly not wanted to embarrass Dragon. Still, there was no way for him to walk, so there really hadn't been much of a choice.


	68. Wufei 67

My new master was a brute, I was sure of it. Oh, there was the blood of an aristocrat in him, of that I had no doubt. The set of his jaw was familiar to me, and I could almost remember the name of the noble family that he came from. It was certainly not Merquis, to be sure. His hair was the color of shimmering gold, and extended halfway down his back, in a style of decadence and deliberate uselessness that only a noble could allow. My own hair was long as well, and a raven black color, but only long enough to pull back into a ponytail. The ponytail kept it out of my way, while having it long allowed me to go for several months without being hindered by the need for a haircut. Efficiency to extravagance, myself to my master. Still, I could not help but notice in battle how it had attracted my eye away from his sword. The glittering strands of hair were hard not to watch as they danced around his graceful movements. A lesser man could become distracted by them, but I had merely found them an annoyance. Still, there was the possibility that I had misjudged his hair, and I allowed myself to contemplate this possibility. I had not, however, misjudged Zechs Marquis, my new master. He was handsome, obviously, with a regal bearing and soulful blue eyes. A wolf in sheep's clothing. A demon in the body of an angel. His home, and his slaves, were different from those I had been to before. There was a tranquility about the place, a calmness. This peace was not to be confused with silence, which is often charged with terror as slaves tiptoe around their master. It was instead a genuine feeling of... serenity that I hadn't experienced since I had come to Collar, and even long before. The slaves were disgustingly submissive to Master Zechs. The oriental one, Heero, greeted us at the door and seemed genuinely concerned for Zechs' well-being. How many times had the blonde master beat his slave to create just such a reaction? How much pain had instilled into the slave a caring for the master, since the master's fate was his own? The other two, a small blonde named Quatre and a tall youth named Trowa, remained curled on the couch, but anxiously awaited their master. They watched as he placed me on a loveseat, then the blonde questioned, "What's wrong with him"  
I braced myself for a harsh reply, wondering if I, or one of the other slaves, would be able to step in one the other's behalf. Quatre was delicate, and looked weak already, obviously from a cruel punishment from the master. "He twisted his ankle while we were sparing," Zechs replied calmly, moving away from where he had placed me. "Will he be alright?" Quatre asked as Zechs sauntered into the kitchen and opened the freezer. "He should be," Zechs commented as he returned, "he only sprained it. Still, it could use a wrap, if we have any in the first aid kit. Other than that it just needs ice and for him to stay off his feet. It should be fine in a couple of days"  
I repressed the urge to snap a quip about his medical knowledge, or lack thereof, as Zechs placed an icepack on my swollen ankle. It was... strange, that he had gotten it himself and not ordered one of the others to fetch it. But then, perhaps he had wanted me to see him do it, to gain my trust. It would take a lot more than an icepack to force trust from me. The evening passed quickly, though nothing really happened. Zechs had ordered chicken from the kitchen for dinner, which arrived only a few minutes later. There was a bar in the kitchen, and we all ate there, including me, who Zechs insisted on carrying to and from the seat. The slaves were all permitted to eat their fill which wasn't overly strange, though some masters would regulate the diets of their slaves to keep them slim. Others would simply overwork them, or starve them if they gained too much weight. I wasn't sure which method Zechs had chosen, but from the look of the tall one I would assume starvation. Once the meal was over and I was returned to the couch, Zechs had Heero fetch the medical kit, and proceeded to tightly wrap my ankle with bandages. The swelling had gone down, and it felt a little better, but Zechs still frowned as he appraised it. "It's not as bad as I thought, but you'll still have limited walking capabilities. I won't have to carry you around all the time, though, as long as you stay inside," he said. Ah. So he was disappointed that he would not have to carry me. At least he hadn't lied about it, though, which was something I wouldn't have put past him. Or perhaps he was disappointed that I wasn't incapable of running if he tried to rape me. Not that I would run. I had lost to him. I did not deserve to escape.  
He moved away, then, and went over to speak with Heero, but their conversation was too far away for me to overhear. The little blonde was sitting on the couch in the lap of the taller boy, yawing and visibly tired. He did not ask his master to allow him to sleep, though, even as he began to doze off. I would have growled if I had not been exhausted. The blonde was serving no purpose, why wouldn't Zechs let him go to bed? As I wondered this, I glanced over at Zechs, who was frowning at Quatre. I tensed, expecting Zechs to yell at him for almost falling asleep. "Trowa," Zechs snapped, "Take Quatre to bed"  
Trowa nodded once and rose fluidly, lifting Quatre in his arms. The boy was graceful, and strong, with the body of a gymnast. I wondered curiously if it was natural or if he had been formally trained. Or maybe a combination of the two. "Master!" Quatre whined, "I'm not sleepy"  
"Ah. So those dark circles around your eyes are because you're part raccoon, I'll suppose," Zechs said, smiling as he tapped the end of Quatre's nose playfully. "Master," Quatre pouted, "Will you at least come to bed soon"  
"Sure. Actually, we might as well all go to bed. It's less than five days until the end of Collar, and you'll all have to get used to normal time again. Heero, go ahead in and turn down the covers for me, please"  
The three slaves departed, and I suddenly realized that they were all headed for the same room. Not that other master's didn't have three or four slaves sleep with them at the same time, but as Zechs only had three slaves I hadn't thought that they would all be sleeping together. I hadn't thought about what... crude, dirty things might be going on inside that room. But what Zechs did with his three slaves was none of my.  
...But... he didn't have three slaves anymore... did he? He had... four... Did he expect me to... to... right in front of the other three? With him right there? I wouldn't! I couldn't! Even the owner had never... never made me... in front of a crowd! Or worse yet, I could be expected to... to do that!... right with them! All of us at once!  
I felt ill as Zechs dropped to his knees beside me. "I won't be a part of your licentious bed!" I hissed. "I am enslaved only to you, I will not corrupt and deprave others who have done nothing wrong"  
"Dragon"  
"I won't be a part of this... this debauchery"  
"Listen"  
"How dare you call yourself a human, much less a man"  
"Dragon, you must understand"  
"If you had any soul at all you would rip off your own testicles rather than entwine yourself in such depravity"  
"Now, see here"  
"You're a soulless monster! You may rape my body, but you will never have my mind! I won't dirty others with the filth you have covered me with! I will not sleep in your bed"  
"Fine!" Zechs yelled, cutting me off. "Then sleep in the damn slave's quarters! Do whatever the fuck you want!" he yelled, standing in a rush and storming toward his room, where he slammed the door shut with a bang. I stared after him for a minute, so relieved that I could barely stand it. Even walking on my twisted ankle, as I was forced to once Zechs was gone, could not dampen my spirits, nor could the tiny bed, or the coarse sheets.  
The idea of waking, however, depressed me greatly, as I suddenly realized that I would yet again wake a slave, only this time to an angry master. I had won the battle, yes, but the war was already over, and I had lost. In the morning, I would still be faced with an angry overlord controlling my life, and I had no one to blame but myself, and my weakness. 


	69. Wufei 68

I stared after him for a minute, so relieved that I could barely stand it. Even walking on my twisted ankle, as I was forced to once Zechs was gone, could not dampen my spirits, nor could the tiny bed, or the coarse sheets.

The idea of waking, however, depressed me greatly, as I suddenly realized that I would yet again wake a slave, only this time to an angry master. I had won the battle, yes, but the war was already over, and I had lost. In the morning, I would still be faced with an angry overlord controlling my life, and I had no one to blame but myself, and my weakness.

A stronger man would have born it, internalized it, analyzed it, and become stronger for it. But a stronger man would have never allowed himself to become entrapped in such a situation in the first place. A stronger man would have been able to save his honor.

But I was not a strong man. At best, I felt like a weak boy. Thinking of what my "master" was doing to his slaves, mere children, beaten and corrupted by the evils of men, in the other room, being forced into whatever vile acts he wanted them to perform. They had not run, like cowards, to hide under the covers like a small child.

I couldn't help but think, suddenly and with guilt, that I had abandoned the other slaves. Would they hate me now? They had reason to, as their master would most likely take his anger and frustration out on them. I had been the outsider before, and often, but it was different now that these were truly my peers under my master. Were he to beat me, or rape me, or hurt me very badly, I might need their help. I doubted that the Owner's order not to wound me would hold up as well once we were in the privacy of Zechs' home. It hadn't with the other masters who had tried to force me into heeding them, but I had always been smart or strong enough to evade them. Now I could not resist. My honor, whatever I had left, would not allow it.

It broke me, to think of my own weakness, and the strength of the other slaves, to bear up under such conditions as these. My tears were silent, and my sobs non-existent as I vented the pain of slavery imposed on myself and those around me. I buried my head in the pillow, turning my head to the side to breath, gasping and sobbing almost silently. This pain, could any man bear it? The chains I was confined by, they burned my skin and tormented my soul. I wished I would die, but my honor would not let me end my suffering by taking my own life. What little honor I had left.

Spent from my period of weakness, I fell into a deep slumber. I hadn't slept so deeply since I was last with the Owner, because I could not trust the other masters not to attack me in my sleep. Now, it did not matter. I had lost to Zechs, so if I could sleep through his depraved acts I would be more than pleased, but I doubted I could. The acts would be as painful as they were humiliating.

With that thought, I allowed myself to pass out. At least my dreams were not trapped by the confines that caged my body, and I slept deep and well.

Which, in retrospect, was in fact my downfall.

It was hours later, in the point of deepest darkness just before the dawn, that I noticed something moving outside my realm of consciousness, but I dreaded waking to find that it was my perverted master, reading himself to use me. My eyes were heavy, puffed from crying and sticky from where the tears had dried. I loathed opening them to the gruesome reality.

There was a crackling noise, and I pulled myself a plane closer to consciousness, but was yet unable to fully wake. The crackling stopped, and I was about to let myself drift into a deeper sleep when I felt someone touch my neck, and something being stuck to it, like a sticker.

I was immediately awake. I glared above me, readying myself to scream profanities at that bastard Zechs, but I halted in fear at the sight above me. Instead of my master, there was a stranger standing above me, wrapped in black, a maniacal grin on his face.

"The mistress wants your skin!" he hissed, revealing a long dagger in his left hand.

I tried to retaliate. I attempted to lash out at him with a powerful kick, but what I managed was to haphazardly toss my body to the side. For some reason, my body would not obey the commands I gave to it. What was wrong with me?

"I thought you were smart!" the stranger laughed, "how the hell can you not know there's a down patch on your neck?" he asked. A down patch was used to subdue or sedate wayward slaves. I only had a few seconds before I would be completely unable to move.

Gathering all my strength and the concentration I had learned through meditation, I aimed one solid kick at him. I had hoped to kick his hand, to remove the knife from his possession, though I wasn't sure what I would have done after that. Instead, I only managed to knock him backwards, into the dresser and causing him to knock over a lamp, which shattered loudly.

"Bitch!" the stranger hissed, bringing the knife down in a slow arc. I managed to twist out of the way, but the blade still cut the tender flesh of my thigh. The pain pierced me, but I could no longer move my mouth to scream. In another moment, I could not move at all.

And standing above me, a dim light radiating from an unknown source to glimmer from his bloody weapon, was the stranger. I was helpless at his mercy, which I doubted he had much of. I would be skinned alive.

Please, someone help me!


	70. Zechs 69

I was pissed at myself for yelling at Dragon. I was pissed at Dragon for yelling at me. I was pissed at the situation for causing this problem. But, most of all, I was pissed at the ring of truth and untruth in Dragon's comments.

I was not going to rape him, but I was going to seduce him. I did not force my slaves into sex, but I did make them all the same. Most of all, despite the fact that I was truly trying to help the boys I had taken into my care, I still felt dirty from the acts I was forced to perform in order to save them. Could my good intentions overshadow the horrible deeds I was forced to participate in?

It didn't help that, as soon as I entered the bedroom upon having the fight with Dragon, all eyes turned to me with concern and an innocent trust that made me nauseous. I wanted so badly to free my young slaves, and I felt almost as though I had failed them. It could take years to meet the Owner, and I doubted I could last one if I continued to feel as strongly for the boys as I did.

But how could I not feel this way? They were my subordinates, my partners, my guides, and my lovers. I relied on them for everything from how to act to what to wear, Heero especially. They had every reason to hate me, and yet the trusted me, perhaps even cared for me. And I could not deny that I loved each of them in turn. Perhaps not the love of a husband, nor that of a brother, but a love so strong and true that I doubted I could compare it to any other kind. It was a love born of trust and hope in a situation of desperation.

I sighed as I lay down next to Heero, who welcomed me into his arms. Quatre pressed his cheek against my back, and Trowa lay a hand over Quatre's hip to rest on my side. How could they not hate me, as Dragon did? How could they be so willing to accept me, after all they had been through?

But I could not begrudge any happiness they gained from me. I did not understand it, but I would rather bite off my own tongue than take it away from them. After all they had been through, that they could trust enough to find solace in each other and happiness with me was truly a compliment to their natures, and to the human soul.

I sat up, pulling Heeor with me, and the other two moved in closer, thinking I had something to say. Instead, I gave Heero a kiss on the lips, then Trowa, then one to Quatre on the forehead, for he and I had not become intimate yet, and I did not want to imply that I was forcing the issue. They looked at each other, confused I'm sure, as I settled back down into the bed, but eventually shrugged it off. Quatre and Trowa laid back down, this time with Quatre's back against mine, so that he could bury his face in Trowa's chest. Heero curled back into my arms, resting his chin against my chest as Quatre had. I loved to hold Heero like this, but I almost wished it were not so. With Quatre now with Trowa, soon to become lovers I was sure, it only made me see how reliant Heero was on me. But I was not an equal in his eyes, and so could never truly be a normal lover to him. He needed someone on his level, who was neither above or below him, to give him an equal respect and love. But I still had time to worry about that. For now I would merely enjoy having him in my arms, knowing that some day it would not be so.

Later that night, I awoke to a strange noise in the den, but ignored it. It could easily have been Dragon, and I couldn't take those accusing eyes. I curled closer to Heero, who was unaffected by the noise, but could not find sleep again. Those dark, brown orbs stared at me angrily from the deep recesses of my mind. Worse yet was when they looked up at me with hurt and fear. They haunted me, and if to do nothing more than banish them, I slipped quietly out of bed.

In the doorway, I heard a clatter and a thud from Dragon's room. Thinking he had stumbled in the darkness, I hurried to his room. No lights were on, which I had initially assumed was because he had not wished to wake the rest of the household, but there was a dim light coming from beneath his door. Someone mumbled angrily, but it didn't sound like Wufei's voice. The accent was wrong.

Warning signals went off in my head, and I sprinted the rest of the way, throwing open the door and striking on the light. The sight before me made my breath catch. Dragon was on his back, his eyes glazed, as a strange figure in black hovered over him, a dagger in his hand. The figure turned to me and grinned.

He was a beautiful man, of no more than thirty, with hazel eyes that glowed of madness. His hair was covered by a heavy hood, as was the rest of him. There was the outline of a collar in his clothes around his neck, and I had no trouble believing such a shapely person had been purchased, for he was well muscled in the shoulders, thin from the chest down, with long legs and strong thighs. And, accepting that he was a slave, I had no trouble believing also that he had gone mad under some sadistic master.

In a second, his grin disappeared and he rushed at me, holding the blade before him. I moved to the side and just barely missed being struck in the ribs. I shoved the man from behind, using his momentum to knock him off balance. He struck the wall beside the door and gave out a loud yell.

There was a thundering of feet from outside the room as the assailant rose, aiming his dagger for another strike.

"Trowa!" I yelled, "Keep Quatre in the room! Stay there!" I yelled, hoping they would heed my call. There was a flurry of confused, stumbling steps as the attacker next rushed me, but as I sidestepped easily I could hear two sets of footsteps retreating into the bedroom, then the closing of a door, while another carefully approached the room. Even though I wanted Heero to be safe, I knew I could use some backup, and I desperately wanted someone to check on Dragon. He had not moved since I had entered, and I could see a small river of blood coursing down the side of the bed.

If he was hurt...


	71. Zechs 70

Heero entered then, and the distraction he posed gave me just enough time to grab the attacker's wrist and twist it, ridding him of the knife. I slammed my fist into the side of his head, knocking him to the floor, unconscious.

Forgetting about him in the next instant, I rushed to Dragon, who was still lying inert on the bed. Approaching him I could see that the blood was coming from underneath him, but as he was still clothed in his boxers I doubted the attacker had taken advantage of him. Still, the thought that he could have made my heart jump, and I turned Dragon over to find a deep gash along his inner thigh.

That still didn't explain why he wouldn't move, though, so I turned him back to his stomach. His eyes were glazed and his body limp.

"Dragon?" I called, lifting his head, "Dragon, can you hear me?" I wondered. No response was forthcoming, but I felt something strange on the back of his neck. I tilted his head forward only to find a drugged patch on the back of his neck. "Heero!" I called as I began to carefully peel the patch off, "Run and get me a wet rag from the kitchen," I commanded, keeping my voice calm and level. Despite this, Heero dashed out of the room, his new mission taking center importance.

I sighed and examined the patch before tossing it aside. It was a standard down patch, and did not seem to be tampered with. Still, I didn't want to chance that they had done something strange with it, and gently wiped away any chemical residue the patch might have left once Heero returned with the rag. The patch gone and the area cleaned, Dragon quickly began to come around.

"Mmph!" he said, making strange faces as he attempted to get control of his muscles again. "Wha-? Where...?"

"You're safe," I told him, carefully holding him in a half sitting position so that he didn't move and accidentally hurt himself as the drug wore off. "We've dealt with the attacker, but he drugged you before we could get here. Do you remember anything?" I asked.

"I rem'mber..." he said, scrunching up his face in concentration, "... you're mean," he finished childishly. It seemed that, though the drug hadn't completely put him out, it had made him almost drunk. I smiled. On the one hand, he was not suffering from amnesia. On the other, all he could remember was that I was mean. Lovely.

"Well," I said charmingly, "that's a matter of opinion."

I lifted Dragon in my arms and, unable to protest, he went quietly to the den, where I laid him on the couch.

"Trowa, come out and call security for me. Heero, do we have any rope? We could tie up the burglar..."

"It wouldn't be any use," Heero commented in his emotionless tone as he exited the room. "He's dead."

"What? He can't be. I didn't hit him nearly hard enough for that."

"I know, but he woke up and swallowed two pills before I could reach him. Apparently, death was preferable to failing his mission."

"Ah..." I said, hesitating. "What should we do with him now, then?"

"I'll contact the proper authorities," Trowa said, heading for the kitchen. "They'll take the body, then attempt to locate the master."

"What good will that do?"

"The master has to pay for damages," Heero said from the apartment's door. "There was some damaged furniture in the slave's quarters and the lock on this door will need fixed."

"I don't care about the money. What about punishing the master who ordered this?" I asked, still standing over Dragon, who was waving his hands in front of his face, like he had never seen such a thing before. Heero and Trowa hesitated in responding, looking at each other. A communication seemed to pass through them before Heero answered.

"Unfortunately, that's nearly impossible," Heero said, avoiding eye-contact. "Even if we find the master, they could always just say the slave did it totally on his own. There's almost no way to prove otherwise. But... if you really want to get back at the master for this... insult... Trowa or myself could..."

"Enough. It's far too dangerous for either of you to even think about attacking a master or his slaves. I don't want to hear about it again."

"Yes, master," they commented in unison, and seemed vaguely relieved. As if, after how protective I had been of them, I would even think of letting them go on a frivolous assassination mission. What silly slaves I had.

"Can the door be fixed?" I asked.

"Yes," Heero replied as he fiddled with the wiring on the lock, punching in codes as he went, "but if it has been broken into once it can be broken again."

"I see. Then we'll have to be on guard tonight, and I'll install a better security system tomorrow."

"Master, I could stand guard."

"You shouldn't go all night without sleep."

"I am trained to go long periods without sleep."

"No."

"But..."

"Enough. I'm a light sleeper. As long as we're together it will be safe," I told him, but that wasn't the only reason I felt I needed to stand guard. The attack was partially my fault, for I had heard the intruder and did nothing. If something had really happened to Dragon, I wasn't sure if I could have lived with myself.

"Is everyone alright?" Quatre asked, peering out of the bedroom door. "Can I come out now?"

"It's safe now," Trowa said to Quatre, then turned to me. "I called security. They'll come get the body in a few minutes."

"Will I need to answer questions?"

"No. I told them we were attacked, and subdued the assailant. They can see that the pills killed him. Your word is good enough."

"Alright then, let's see what we can do for Dragon before they get here."

"Is he hurt?" Quatre asked, moving from his place in the doorway to kneel beside the couch.

"Yes, but it's not bad. It might require stitches, though."

"Oh," he said, taking Dragon's hand and laying his other on his forehead, "you'll be alright. Master is very capable."

"'E's nah a doct...or," Dragon replied, his brow furrowing in confusion.

"No, but you don't have to go all the way to the medical wing if I do it."

"...Kay."

"Alright then, hold still so I can get started," I instructed, lifting his leg.

"No!" he yelled, slamming it back down.

"Dragon..."

"You're bad!" he yelled, pulling himself into a ball at the end of the couch, tears in his eyes.

"I'm just trying to help."

"Bad things! I'm strong!" he yelled, curling himself in tighter. I looked over the back of the couch and signaled for Heero to come closer. He nodded, closed the door, and approached. Trowa was only a few steps behind, carrying the first aide box. I rose and went to talk to them.

"He's not going to be lucid for another few hours," I told them quietly, so Dragon couldn't overhear. "He's not going to like it, but you're going to have to help me hold him down so I can treat the wound on his leg. So long as it's small enough to use butterfly bandages instead of stitches, it should only take a few minutes," I said. The two nodded, and we turned back to the couch.

"Dragon, I need you to lie back so I can see your wound," I told him, but he only shook his head stubbornly. With a sigh, I motioned to Heero and Trowa, who quickly took Dragon's arms and pinned him to the couch. Dragon tried to kick out, but they were quick, one coming around each side of the couch to grab his thighs and hold them open.

From this vantage point I made the annoying discovery that his shorts would have to go, as I couldn't hold them up and away from the wound at the same time I cleaned it. Too tired to fight with pulling them off, I grabbed a pair of scissors from the first aide box and cut them off. Dragon let out a scream that pierced the room, watching me between his legs with terrified eyes.

"Quatre, hold his head!" I snapped, "Don't let him look!" I said, hoping that Dragon's state would cause him to calm once he couldn't see what was going on.

It worked somewhat, as Dragon was reduced to merely sobbing and thrashing as Quatre took his head in his hands and forced him to look away.

"Hey there, Dragon," he cooed, trying to calm the boy. "Can you look at my eyes? What color are they?"

"...uhn... eh... b-... blue..." Dragon replied through his sobbing.

"Really? Are they pretty?"

"Uh... yes... Very pretty..."

"Thank you! What about my nose? Is it cute?"

"... It's... small..."

"Oh. Is that bad?"

"...No."

"What about-..."

"That's enough," I said, interrupting Quatre's questions. "I'm already done. Trowa, run and get Dragon a robe, please," I asked, and Trowa scurried to obey. My comment, for some reason, instead of making Dragon cry less made him cry harder. "What's wrong now?"

"A-... a-am I d-d-dirty n-n-n-now?" he huffed, sobbing harshly.

"No," I said, taking his head in my hands. "I just fixed the cut on your leg. You haven't lost a shred of dignity from what I did. Do you understand, Dragon?"

"That's not my name!" he growled, suddenly offended by the use of his slave-name.

"I don't know your real name."

"It's Wufei! Chang Wufei! 'M not a damn liz'rd!" he huffed, his tears suddenly gone. One thing was for certain, this boy would never be getting a sip of alcohol from me! Not if this was how he acted when drunk! I wasn't sure if I'd even allow him headache pills.


	72. Zechs 71

Trowa returned with one of my worn, long-sleeved shirts instead of a robe, and I looked at it inquisitively.

"He keeps squirming about. I didn't think a robe would stay on him in this state. I'm sorry if it displeases you and-..."

"Don't be silly," I told the green-eyed boy, "It's a good idea. Would you be kind enough to borrow a pair of Quatre's shorts as well? They look about the same size..."

"Yes master," he responded, trying to hide a smile of pleasure from my small compliment. I would have to remember to do it more often. I glanced back at Dragon... pardon, Wufei, who was squirming uncomfortably in his seat. In a moment he noticed the small patch of blood on the seat next to him and carefully extended a finger to poke at it.

"Stop that," I chided, causing him to jump and turn toward me. It took advantage of his momentary confusion and slipped his other shirt off of him. It came off easily, as it was loose for easy movements in fights. I almost didn't want to take it off him, for he would be completely naked without it, but he had managed to get blood spots onto the white material, and they were far to unnerving for me to allow. "Arms up," I told him, holding the shirt up for him to put on.

"No!" he said belligerently, whichwas silly, because it meant that he had to remain naked, which I had thought was one of the things he would like least to do around me.

"Now Dra-..." I tried to reason, despite his semi-lucid state.

"That's not my name!" he yelled, tears springing back to his eyes. "I hate that name!"

"Well I'm sorry, alright? I forgot!" I snapped.

"Really?" he sniffled, rubbing his eyes.

"Really what?" I asked, exasperated.

"You're really sorry?"

"Yes. I didn't mean to call you a name you don't like. I just haven't known you as Wufei for very long."

"Alright, then, just don't do it any more," he said, looking up at me for the first time with dry eyes.

"Will you put the shirt on now?"

"Yes," he said, holding his hands above his head. Withholding a sigh, I slipped the large shirt over his small form. It came down almost to his knees, and completely covered his hands. He saw this, and shifted a bit, getting a feel for the clothing, then gave the first smile I had seen on him. He looked so young, with his hair down, an innocent smile on his face, and his brown eyes looking about curiously, if a bit unfocussed.

There was a knock on the door, distracting me from Wufei. I motioned for Quatre to sit with him while I escorted the security team to the body.

The security team was quick, if nothing else. They walked in, dropped the body into what amounted to a garbage can, took three pictures of the damage, and left. I felt bad for the slave who had attacked Wufei, even though his actions were despicable. More than him, I blamed the master and the situation for causing him to take such rash actions. It made me want to defeat it all the more, and to feel my failure so far all the more bitterly.

Once I returned from showing the team out, I went to the kitchen and grabbed a dishrag. There was still a large spot of blood from Wufei's leg on the couch that needed to be cleaned, and I wondered for a moment if blood stains weren't the reason the couches were made out of a synthetic leather, which was water resistant. Upon entering the den, I found Trowa holding Wufei up while Quatre put a pair of shorts on him. If it weren't for the reason Wufei was like this, I would have laughed to see him being handled like a child. As it was, I almost felt like crying.

While I cleaned the spot on the couch, Heero and Trowa cleaned up the slave's quarters, and Quatre babysat Wufei. It gave us all some time to calm down, for we had all been on something of a rush. There was a silence in the apartment broken only by the sounds of our cleaning and any noises Wufei happened to make. But it was not an uncomfortable silence, merely a quite time for us to calm ourselves. Within half an hour, my slaves came tromping into the den, visibly lagging. Even Heero, who had bragged about being able to remain awake for days, was sluggish. Not that I didn't believe he could do it, I was sure he could if he pushed himself, but I also realized that he was still slightly weakened from when I first found him, and that he had been running himself ragged for the past week.

"Time for bed," I commented quietly, getting up and motioning toward the bedroom. Trowa helped Quatre up, and Heero came to my side as I took Wufei by the hand and led him toward the room.

We made it three steps away from the doorway before Wufei panicked.

"No!" he gasped, stopping dead and leaning back against me. "I won't go in there! It's bad!"

"Wufei, it's not..."

"No!" he yelled. I sighed. I doubted this conversation would be any better than our earlier conversation, and less lucid.

"No one's going to hurt you..." I said, but it only had the effect of making Wufei burst out into harsh, wracking sobs. "Alright, alright!" I snapped, turning him around and leading him away from the bedroom. His sobs quieted somewhat, but he was still crying harshly.

"Master?" Heero asked, following me.

"Heero, could you go get some extra blankets from the closet? It seems I'm going to have to sleep on the couch tonight."

"But... why?" he asked, even as he moved to obey.

"Because he's certainly not going to go into the bedroom, and it's not safe to leave him alone at this point. Oh, and Trowa? Could you warm a glass of milk?"

"I could sleep out here," Heero offered, returning with the blankets. Together we began to lay them out.

"Thank you, but no. It's my responsibility to keep all of you safe. Besides, you could use the sleep."

"But..."

"Not another word. I'm the master here, I get to say who does what," I told him sternly, finishing with the blankets.

"Yes, master," Heero said with his head hung. Guilt nipped at me and I took him in my arms.

"It's not that I don't trust you, but I think... I think I need to do this. Do you understand? I need to protect what is mine."

"I understand," he said, meeting my eyes. "I just... I want you to know you can rely on me. I'm stronger than I look."

"I know," I said, and kissed him on the forehead. "Now get to bed," I said, pushing him off toward the retreating backs of Trowa and Quatre. He cast me a lonely, longing look, but followed my command. That look, more than anything, resolved me to find a partner slave for Heero. I didn't want him to be lonely every time I was busy or occupied, and Heero needed a close companion of his own. Perhaps he would even fall in love.

With that resolution, I turned to the couch, where Wufei was watching the happenings with that innocent curiosity.

"Do you love him?" he asked suddenly. If it hadn't been for the glazed look in his eyes, I almost would have thought it was the lucid Wufei talking. But, no, it was merely the innocent question of a drunken mind, and I could deal with it as such.

"Uh... that's a rather unfair question to ask. Here, drink your milk," I said, lifting the cup of warm milk I assumed Trowa had left.

"Why?" he asked.

"Because it's good for you, and because it'll make you sleepy." Without any more drugs in your system, I silently added.

"I don' wanna sle'p. You'll do ba' things," he huffed, though his eyes were getting suspiciously heavy.

"I give you my word of honor that I will not to anything bad to you tonight or tomorrow, but you have to drink your milk. Deal?"

"You promise?"

"On my honor."

"Kay, then," he said, and took a big gulp of his milk. I smiled and leaned back, hopeful that he would soon be asleep. Unfortunately, once he managed to finish the milk he surprised me again, this time by throwing himself on my chest and nuzzling my stomach.

"You smell pretty," he said, giggling softly. "The Owner smelled pretty, too, but he's a jerk. I hope you're not a jerk. I'm not a jerk... Well, not really. I just act like a jerk, 'cause I'm really a coward. I used to have honor, though, 'til Owner took it. I was a sko- a ska- a scholar... er somethin. I read lots a books. I was gonna be a teacher 'n everything. I don't think they let dirty people teach, though. Maybe I can teach dogs or something. Do you have a dog..." he asked, drifting off to sleep. I wondered, absently, if there had been some kind of truth serum in that patch, and if I should have asked some questions, but it was all moot now. He was finally asleep, and I couldn't help but smile as I covered his gently snoring form, which was still lying on most of mine.


	73. Wufei 72

It was strange, like waking up from a nightmare, but a nightmare that you knew was a dream, and that wasn't all that bad. Emotions of pain, fear, and anger were present, but so was this numbness that I couldn't explain, and brief periods of happiness. Events were foggy, but the emotions I had experienced were very clear. So... what was going on?

I awoke from my slumber slowly, dragging myself up inch by inch from the murky depths of sleep. I was careful, too, as I woke, checking each level for safety before continuing to the next. It was strange to say that I felt safer than I could ever remember feeling while in slavery. It was warm, too, and... confined? Restricted? But it was a good feeling, the feeling of being... held?

It was with a sudden clarity that I realized not only was I awake, but I was being held in the arms of someone much larger than I was. I turned my head just enough to see a small spill of blonde hair. The master! What had gone on? What had he done? I searched my memories, but could only come up with foggy recollections. Could it possibly be so bad that I repressed it?

I forced myself to take three deep breaths, bringing myself away from the edge of panic. I had to think logically, and not lose my head. If I could not remember what happened, I might be able to find clues to prove it. Firstly, I was dressed, but I was not dressed in my own clothes. I felt groggy, but not hung-over. I was not in the bedroom, but I was on the couch, which forced me to lie on top of Zechs to stay on the couch. My ass didn't hurt...

I moved, and a searing pain shot through my thighs. Nataku, he did! I was completely still for a moment, the shock of what must have happened last night causing a paralysis in my body, but not my brain. The next minute, I began to wiggle out of Zechs' arms. I had to get away, before he woke and wanted to go again. It was a gift that I could not remember the first time, but I was not dumb enough to allow him another while my body attempted to heal. And I did not put him above such actions, I doubted he'd restrain himself for something as meager as human life.

As I struggled to get out of his hold, one of my movements must have alerted him to my state, as one of his hands closed over my elbow. His eyes opened partially, blearily, and turned toward me.

"Damnit, Fei, 'm not takin' ye to the bathroom 'gain. Ye can't poss'bly have ta go again alre-..." he trailed off, opening his eyes wider as he suddenly saw me. "Wufei? He asked, in a much more reasonable and awake voice, "You really up this time? I was getting worried."

I ripped myself from his grasp, flinging myself across the room only to land on the carpet and turn on him, teeth bared and growling.

"You monster! What did you d-...!"

"Wufei, stop..."

"How can you do that to someone, in their sleep of all times!"

"Wufei, listen!"

"I won't be defiled again-...!"

"Wufe, bend over!" he snapped.

"W-what?"

"Bend over, right now. I command it," he told me, his face red with rage. What could I do but obey? My honor demanded that I obey his commands, even if they were despicable and perverted.

I turned toward him, bowing low at the waist. I would not present myself to him, like a common whore. If he wanted my ass, he would have to walk around me to get it.

"What do you feel?" he growled.

"Huh?"

"Where does it hurt? How does it feel?"

"It hurts, damnit! My thighs...! My... thighs..." I repeated, suddenly realizing that the blinding pain I had felt since bending over did not come from my ass, but my thighs. My left thigh, specifically. What the hell?"

"What? Oh shit!" Zechs cursed suddenly, jumping up and pushing me to lie face-down on the couch. If I hadn't been so confused I would have fought him, but at the time I was still too busy trying to figure out what had happened. "Damn!" he cursed, lifting up the side of my boxers and examining what appeared to be the source of my pain. "You pulled it, but none of the butterfly stitches came off. Don't do that again. If I ask you to... just smack me or something. I wasn't even thinking about it," he said, flopping down bonelessly on the other side of the couch. I dared to sit up, and managed just a peek at the corner of a deep cut in my thigh. It was tightly closed with butterfly stitches, a few drops of blood seeping through the cracks in the quickly scabbing wound.

"I... don't understand..." I trailed, looking to Zechs for an answer. Had he... cut me? But what purpose would that serve? And why would he have tended it, if he gave it to me himself?

Zechs sighed, rubbing his forehead as he frowned. "What do you remember of last night? Do you remember being attacked?" he asked me.

I concentrated hard and managed to bring up the image of a dark shadow looming over me. It was like a nightmare. He had held a knife over me, smiling wickedly. I had lashed out, but my body had been too weak to fight him. He had... stabbed me? Yes, I could remember that. He had stabbed me, then said something about... skinning me alive. But... after that? It was so fuzzy. There had been yelling, and a sudden burst of light, and Zechs had been there, and Heero, and Trowa, and even Quatre. Zechs had... he had rushed the shadow. Had attacked a man with a knife to save the life of a mere slave.

"Someone attacked me. Did you... Did you save me?" I wondered. Zechs seemed surprised by this question, and briefly appraised me before answering.

"An unknown assailant snuck into your room last night and attacked you while you were asleep. He drugged you, to keep you from attacking, but despite this I believe you managed to engage him, receiving the wound on your leg. Once I heard the commotion, I came to check on you and engaged the attacker to keep him from harming you further. Heero and I managed to subdue him, but he killed himself before we could question him about his motives. You were too drugged to be coherent, and were irrationally afraid of the bedroom, so I stood guard here and kept watch over your condition. I think the drugs are out of your system now."

Zechs' statement had managed create almost as many questions as it had solved. Why would he have risked his life to save mine? Why had he stood guard, instead of his slaves? And why in the world was a part of nobility speaking in police lingo?

I heard the patter of bare feet then, and looked to the bedroom to find that Heero had awakened. He looked somewhat groggy as he shuffled to the kitchen, but I was beginning to notice how little Heero's stoic face changed in expression, so it was hard to tell if he was really groggy or not. Remembering the events of the past night, however, I found it easier to assume he was groggy than anything else.

Which led me to look at Zechs, who was more dead than groggy. There were deep bags under his eyes, which were slightly bloodshot as well.

"You stayed with me all night?" I asked.

"Hm. You seemed alright, but we couldn't really trust you on your own. Too many things around here you could have hurt yourself with."

"So... why you? Why not the slaves?"

"Because I'm the master. Heero, Trowa, Quatre, and even you are all my responsibility. As such, it was my job to guard the apartment and watch you. Besides, the others needed to sleep. Speaking of which, I think I'll catch another nap myself," he said, leaning back against the pillow and stretching out so that his feet were almost in my lap.

"You can't do that, master," Heero said from the other kitchen, where he was putting the finishing touches on a pot of coffee.

"Why not?" Zechs asked in an almost pleading tone.

"Because we have to go to Master Grindel's party."

"Uhn!" Zehcs protested, burying his face in a pillow. "Can't we just skip?"

"It wouldn't be wise," Heero said as he left the coffee to brew and stood behind the couch in the den. "Master Grindel is fairly powerful, and he offends easily."

"Uh!" Zechs huffed. "I'm sick or something," he said, hugging tighter to his pillow. Heero smirked, leaning casually over the back of the couch.

"Lazy master," Heero teased. Zechs tensed and looked up, glaring at Heero's smirking face.

I sat back, afraid of what was about to happen. How could Heero so casually forget himself? Did he think a master would simply accept being spoken to in such a tone? And I could see Zechs coiling, ready to spring on his naive slave. Then, as suddenly as I had expected, Zechs pounced, grabbed Heero's shoulder, and dragged him over the back of the couch. Heero let out a squawk, falling gracelessly on top of Zechs. I jumped up and moved back, uncertain if intervention would only make things worse. Zechs was merciless in his assault, and Heero was thrashing hard, but with no definable purpose, so was having no luck in shaking off a master like Zechs. I contemplated running for one of the other slaves, but certainly they could hear the sound of Heero's... laughter?

It was a strange, surreal moment as I realized that Zechs, a cruel and domineering master, was indeed having a tickle-fight with one of his slaves as punishment for a heinous insult. I rubbed my eyes, half afraid I was still caught in a drug induced dream. Neither did the appearance of the other two slaves help, for neither seemed to think anything about this situation was in the least bit odd. On the contrary, Quatre grinned and climbed on top of the two squirming fighters, while Trowa gave a softer smile and seated himself by their feet, in my former spot. After another minute, Zechs let out a sigh and deflated, sagging back against the couch.

"I suppose I'd better get up," he sighed, looking at Heero, who was still laying on top of Zechs while Quatre lay on his back.

"If you're really tired, you could probably sleep another half an hour or so," Heero replied, "There's an hour before the party, and if you don't take long to dress..."

"No, I'd rather get there early so we can use that as an excuse to leave early. I'm hoping to have three or four hours between Grindel's party and Manx's party."

"For what?" Quatre asked curiously.

"Well, I guess there's no use hiding it. I'm going to see about the purchasing of the final addition to our household; one more slave."


	74. Heero 73

Here's a longer update, remembering that I won't be here next week. Have fun, I'm really proud of these chapters. And, yes, Duo finally comes in.

"But why?" I heard Quatre ask, "What do you need another slave for?"

"Not to replace any of you, that's for certain. I don't want anyone getting upset over this. It's simply that I want each of you to have a partner if I should go anywhere, or if you should go anywhere without me. You're safer in pairs. As it is, there are three of you, granting that Wufei is only with us for a week, and I want to have an even number of slaves when we get back to the house, understand? No one's being replaced, alright?"

I wasn't sure whether to grateful to or offended by master's comment. While he hadn't mentioned me specifically, it had been obvious that he was only buying this slave so that I would have someone to be with. Didn't he trust me alone? Did he think I'd be angry that Quatre and Trowa were so close, and that he needed to buy me a friend to replace them? Did he really believe you could force people to be friends?

On the other hand, it would be nice to have a spotter to help me with my work outs. As much as I didn't want master thinking I was weak, could I really take the chance of happiness away from whichever slave he chose? Would that be fair of me?

But eventually it dawned on me that I truly had no control over the situation. Master would do what he thought best, regardless of my wishes or demands. He was not a master like the others at Collar, but he was still... dominant. He was the leader and protector. He was... a king to us, I suppose. He often made choices we did not like, but he always made them with our benefit in mind.

We were, as Master wanted, early to the party and were able to speak with Master Grindel before any other guests arrived. Master had commented on Master Grindel's obviously German name, and had quickly found that Master Grindel's hometown was one he had traveled to as a teen. Master made such an impression with our host that I doubted he would be offended if Master hung from the chandelier, let alone leave early. But Master made an impression on everyone he talked to, and had gained an amazing amount of popularity in a very short time. Of course, it didn't hurt that a rumor had circulated that he was a prince, either.

I wasn't sure I believed that Master was a prince. Rumors at Collar always had some ring of truth to them, but were usually more false than true. If Master had come from a country that had a prince, it was possible for Collar to skew it into such a rumor. And while Master certainly looked the part of a prince and acted like one in formal situations, he never seemed proud or aloof to even his slaves, the lowest of servants. How could someone raised with such a lineage not look down on such humble and homely creatures? It was very difficult for me to believe.

The party went well, but I wasn't sure Master was enjoying himself. He never really seemed to, at parties. He rarely drank and never had to be helped back to the room from intoxication. He wasn't fond of other drugs that were available, and he refused to smoke. He also wouldn't let his slaves have any drugs, but I for one was not in the least bit disappointed. I hated feeling out of control, of waking up and not knowing if you had done something very bad or not. For a slave who was drugged was not excused from punishment. I often remembered a drugged slave who had broken a plate or spilled a cup later being punished for the infraction, and having no idea what they had done wrong. I had been the recipient of such punishments a few times.

_Removed for content._


	75. Zechs 74

When we arrived, we were told that there weren't any slaves available for rent.

"What do you mean, there aren't any slaves?" I asked the light haired clerk. He was wearing a white uniform similar to those in the hospital, but a little more starched. He had a nice smile and was polite, but it was easy to tell from his nervousness that he had either once been a slave or was still a slave, and the gold chain peaking out from his collar confirmed my suspicions. It seemed odd to me, then, that he should lie about anything, but I could easily see that the cages behind him were filled with slaves.

"We don't rent out slaves for five days before the auction, so they can rest before the biding starts," he said. That I understood, for who would want to buy a slave with bruises and abrasions all over him? They would be given a few days to heal, so they were pretty for the bidders. But I doubted they would get any better care here than they would with me.

"I see. So there's no way for me to borrow a slave?" I asked. I really did not want to risk taking home a brand new slave, but I did want to get a partner for Heero. I had hoped to attempt something of a trial period by renting the slaves, but it seemed as though that idea was shot.

"Well..." the clerk said, biting his lip, "There is one slave I can lend out for today and tomorrow, but you'd have to bring him back in good shape on Sunday for the auction."

I contemplated his proposal for a moment. If he was offering a slave this close to auction, there was probably something wrong with it. On the other hand, there had been something "wrong" with all my slaves so far. He'd fit right in.

Heero, standing quietly to my right, gently touched my elbow and shook his head. I understood that he was telling me to be cautious, because he too realized that something must be wrong with this slave, but would trying this one be any worse than buying one completely unknown and being stuck with it once we were home? I'd rather risk a little now than a lot later.

"I'll take him."

"Excellent!" the clerk crowed, "Just sign right here," he said, pointing to the contract. I noted that the contract was for two days, instead of the usual one, but dismissed it. Perhaps they always loaned them out in two day stints.

The clerk pressed a button and another man in white appeared, this one with a dark complexion.

"Go get cage #666," he said. The other man leaned in close, a frown on his face.

"You're loaning out slaves?" he whispered harshly.

"Just _him_," the clerk replied.

"Oh. Oh! Did you get rid of him for both days?" the man asked, a smile suddenly on his face.

"Yeah, so hurry up!" the clerk replied, and the other hurried to his work with a grin on his face.

Well, that did not bode well at all.

On the other hand, however little I liked the whispering words of the two employees, I liked even less when the other man returned pulling with him a heavy, barred cage, with two armed guards on either side. And inside the cage...

"You're giving me Shinigami?" I gasped in shock.

"The one and only," the clerk said, with a smile that was a little too wide. "Good deal, huh?"

Somehow, I doubted that. Not that the armed guards or the iron bars would warn me off.

"Are you going to take him out?" I asked, barely containing my annoyance. I did not need another troublesome slave right now. I had barely managed to tame the last one.

"Are we... what?" the clerk responded, mystified.

"Well you certainly don't expect me to drag that thing down the halls, do you?"

"Oh! Of- of course not. Just... uhh... just let me go get the dart gun."

Dart gun? Good lord! What had I gotten myself into?

The clerk disappeared into the doorway behind him where the cages of slaves were stored and came back with what appeared to be an animal tranquilizer.

I wasn't surprised, though, as what I could see within the cage was more animal than man. If it weren't for the mass of dark brown hair lying on top of the hay I would have never guessed which slave was inside, and would have been hard pressed to guess that there was a slave in there at all. The only part of Shinigami other than the hair that peaked out of the roughly strewn hay in the bottom of the cage was a set of fingers, which were tightly wrapped around one of the bars at the front of the cage. And from the grime covering those fingers I shuddered to see what the rest of Shinigami would look like. His hair was matted and encrusted with dirt, tangled almost passed the point of salvation. He was a far cry from the creature I had seen only three days before.

As the clerk took aim on the highest lump in the hay, which was assumed to be Shinigami's butt, a pair of eyes rose just above the straw. As the clerk squeezed the trigger, a foot came flying from between the bars, hitting him in the chest and knocking the gun out of his hands before the shot could be fired. One of the guards growled and grabbed the foot, but instead of staying still Shinigami reared back, pulling the guard toward the cage and smashing his head against the bars. The other guard pulled out a tazer and advanced on the cage, only to receive a flying foot to the groin. As the second guard went down, the first guard and the clerk were able to get back up, but instead of reaching for the gun they decided to attempt to grab Shinigami. They did not have much luck.

Ignoring the melee to my back, I sighed and calmly walked around the cage and picked up the gun. Then, careful to remain out of arm's reach of the cage, I proceeded to take careful aim at Shinigami's revealed shoulder as he reached for the hair of the first guard, found my mark, and fired. The dart hit the meaty part of Shinigami's shoulder. The boy roared, ripped the dart out, and threw it to the floor, but it was too late. In another minute, he collapsed against the bottom of the cage.

I watched the three grown men standing around the caged boy, giving them a look that said, "There. That wasn't so hard, was it?" They did not look particularly pleased with me.

"I'll get him out for you," the clerk offered, moving to open the door. Shinigami twitched at his words, tensing.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you," I warned. "He's going to run like a wet cat if you open that door now. Wait for the drugs to fully kick in before you set him loose."

"Oh. Well, then, I'll go get you some chains."

"I won't need them," I told him, though it probably wasn't completely true. It was very possible that I would need them to deal with Shinigami, I just wouldn't use them. The clerk probably thought I was boasting about my skills as a master, though, while I was truly just being stubborn with my morals. Still, I didn't really care what he thought of me. They were all buffoons.

"Well then, sir, is there anything I can get you," the clerk asked angrily.

"I could use a cold drink," I replied offhandedly, suddenly deciding that I hadn't pissed them off enough just yet. The clerk scowled and stormed off, returning a moment later with a glass of water. I only barely managed to restrain myself in making a comment about the lack of ice.

I sipped a little of the water and, after offering Heero a drink, sat the cup down on the desk and proceeded to open Shinigami's cage. The three buffoons tensed, ready for an attack, but I knew that the boy would be far too drugged to do more than kick exhaustedly at me, which he did as I entered the cage. I ignored his attack and pulled him out of the straw, finding that the rest of his body was just as grimy and dirty as his hand had been. He was wearing no clothes, and seemed to have dropped a few pounds, which concerned me only because he had been too thin already. Now he was nothing but wiry muscle and bone, and the bone seemed to exceed the muscle.

I wanted to sigh as I pulled him into my arms. If properly cared for, he would have been such a beautiful creature. His eyes, which glared at me in hazy hate, were the most beautiful violet color I had ever seen, and his hair was a dark, tri-colored blend of deep brown, hazel, and gold. His body was well proportioned, and would have been shapely with ten more pounds of weight, and beautiful with twenty. As it was, he was whipcord thin, his bones jutting out unbecomingly.

"Pu' meh d'wn, f'cker," he growled incoherently as I lifted him into my arms and out of the cage. I had to smile. The boy had a lot of guts, and a lot of soul. Perhaps he could teach the others to be a little less fearful. On the other hand, I couldn't allow him to teach the rest of my boys to disrespect me. We would have to see how he behaved around me, around the others, and, most of all, around Heero. Only time would tell if he stayed or went. I tried not to think of it as lived or died, though it was probably the same in his case.


	76. Heero 75

I couldn't believe Master had been given Shinigami. Moreover, I couldn't believe he had accepted.

Shinigami was legendary, but it was not a good legend. He was psychotic, violent, unpredictable, and disrespectful. The cost of keeping him drugged was so high that masters would only keep him for a night, because he had worked up such a tolerance for drugs that they had to be almost constantly pumped into his system. That, or allow him to wake up, in which case he was hostile and violent to masters and any slaves who tried to subdue him. Trying to drug him was also dangerous, as he often fought so frantically that he injured both his captor and himself, causing the master to lose more money in paying the fine for damaging a rented slave. Even when Shinigami wasn't acting up, he had a perchance for getting in trouble that had many masters rolling their eyes. He had caused thousands of dollars in damage by tripping, ruining everything from meals to china to electronics.

But the worst trouble Shinigami caused was always to the master's reputation. The humiliation caused by having an uncontrolled and disobedient slave could ruin a master for good. With Master's reputation already uncertain, what was he thinking taking on a slave like Shinigami?

When we arrived at the apartment, Master put Shinigami down in the slave's quarters to sleep off the rest of the drugs. Quatre, Trowa, and Wufei had to be shoed from gawking at the new arrival. I couldn't blame them, though, for Shinigami really did look like a wild man, with his dirty skin, matted hair, straw, and hay-burns all over his body. His behavior wasn't much to the contrary either.

I tried to put him from my mind as we ate dinner, but it was difficult when I had to put a plate of food aside for him, or when Master asked me to watch over the slave when we went to a party that night. I didn't really want the responsibility of watching over the demon-boy, but how could I refuse Master?

"Who will accompany you this party?" I asked. If I were watching Shinigami, Shinigami was drugged, and Quatre was still recovering, that only left Trowa and Wufei.

"I'll be taking Wufei," Master replied, "You will need to watch over Shinigami, and Trowa can help you when he's not helping Quatre."

"But master, when will I get to go out with you?" Quatre asked from his seat on the couch, leaning on Trowa's shoulder, who sat beside him. Wufei was sitting cross-legged on the plush chair, staring at the TV and doing his best to ignore us.

"You won't be going to any parties at all, little one. I can take you out shopping, if you'd really like, but only for a little while. The doctor did say no exertion for another week, correct?"

"Yes," Quatre sighed, "but I get so bored!"

"Perhaps Trowa can take you to the bathhouse. Heero and I had a good time there, didn't we, angel?" he said, smirking at me. I could only blush and turn away.

"I'd better go check on Shinigami," I mumbled.

"I'll go with you," Master said quickly, following me into the other room.

In the slave's quarters, Shinigami seemed asleep, but as we approached, his eyes suddenly opened wide. In the next moment, all hell broke loose, as he jumped out of the bed and attacked. Master pushed me to the ground to keep me out of the fight and dodged one of Shinigami's punches. Still under the influences of the drugs, Shinigami lost his balance and began to topple over, only to be saved from smashing his face into the floor by Master grabbing his shoulder. Instead being grateful, however, he snarled and shoved his shoulder into Master's abdomen, knocking him backwards into a wall. I saw Master's face darken with anger and knew that he was finally becoming fed up with our new guest. Master jumped to his feet and, taking a hold of Shinigami's hair, backhanded him hard across the face, knocking the boy to the floor. His violet eyes rolled dizzily as he shook his head to regain his composure, his lip bleeding slightly and a dark bruise forming on the right side of his face.

"Enough now," Master growled menacingly, towering over the smaller boy, "One more attack on myself or any of my slaves and I'll have you whipped and sent back to the warehouse, do you understand?"

"I understand, you jerk!" Shinigami shouted, jumping to his feet even as he held his bruised face in his hand, a painful lesson to the size and power of my master. "I understand what a jerk you are!" he shouted, but made no move toward violence. I knew that Master was serious about sending him back, but I also knew what a high tolerance Master had, and that he would not send Shinigami back for yelling if he had told him not to attack. I almost wanted him to, though, because I wasn't sure I would be able to contain myself if Shinigami began yelling at me like that.

"If you are going to speak to me like that, you can stay in here. If you think you can be civil, you can come out and meet the rest of the household," Master replied evenly.

"Come out and meet the rest of your hookers? I think I'll pass on that one," Shinigami replied with a sneer. Master frowned.

"I won't have you insulting my slaves. None of them are hookers, and you are not one who should be casting fire and brimstone for promiscuous behavior."

"_Removed for content. _You may as well send me back now if that's what you're after!" he yelled. Master nodded solemnly, his patience wearing thin.

"We shall see," he responded to Shinigami, then turned to me. "Keep an eye on him, and don't be afraid to use force if he gets out of hand. If he refuses to behave you may bring his meals in here to eat, and he can sleep in here if he refuses to be civil, but you may eat and sleep with the rest of us. Other than that, just try to keep him out of trouble if you can. I'm sure you're well able to overpower him, if need be, but try not to do any damage that I'll have to pay for," Master instructed, then turned to leave.

"Coward!" Shinigami growled under his breath as the door closed, leaving the two of us alone together. I swallowed and tensed, expecting him to attack as soon as Master was out of the room.

Instead, he spun around to face me, a bright smile on his face, and offered his hand to me.

"Hi," he said cheerfully, grinning from ear to ear, "I guess you're my new babysitter."

"Uh..." I responded, staring at his hand in shock for more than a second before tentatively taking it in my own. "Master has asked me to watch over you, Shinigami."

"Shinigami's too long," he said as he released my hand and flopped onto the bed. "The name's Duo. You?" he asked as he gingerly touched his bleeding lip. Again I paused in shock, for he had given me, almost a complete stranger, his real name. I wondered if I could trust him with mine but, as he had given me his and since it was very unlikely he would live if Master did not take him, I decided it was safe.

"I'm Heero," I told him.

"Heh. That's a funny name. It's cute, though, and it fits you," he said, smiling at me. He winked. "Are you going to be my hero?" he teased.

I could only stare at him for what must have been a full minute. What the hell had just happened? Where had the angry, violent creature of five minutes ago gone? And who was this cheerful, laughing boy before me? What had caused such a sudden change? Nothing had happened except...

"Why do you hate Master Zechs so much?" I asked, realizing the only thing that could have caused such a sudden and drastic change.

"I don't hate Zechs in particular," he replied, sitting up and beginning to pull hay off of his body. "I hate all masters."

"This master... he is not as bad as others," I defended.

"Psh," Duo snorted. "They're all terrible, this one's just less terrible than the others."

"Perhaps if you weren't so volatile the masters would not be so intolerable."

"Hm," he said, looking contemplatively at the floor. "But if the master's weren't so intolerable, I wouldn't be so volatile," he said, his smile fading. "You're probably better off liking your master, 'cause you're stuck with him anyway, but I just can't tolerate them. Not since... but that's ancient history," he finished quietly, then suddenly looked up at me, the grin back on his face. "There any way to get some grub around here?"

I sighed as I exited the room. Babysitting the Shinigami would either be a lot easier than I had originally thought... or a hundred times harder.


	77. Wufei 76

It was because of the arrival of Shinigami that I found myself tossed back into my fighting uniform, for there had not been time to buy me other clothes, and on the way to a party with Zechs. I had been informed of this arrangement earlier, but I could see that Zechs was nervous about taking me out in public alone, in case I should act up or something. He seemed naive about my honor-bound submission now that he had defeated me, and I was not stupid enough to enlighten him.

I, too, was dreading the party, but for different reasons. There was the pounding headache that I simply could not get rid of and the aching lethargy in my limbs that no amount of sleep could cure. I knew, because I had slept nearly the entire time Zehcs had been gone, not even waking for lunch. I regretted that now, for there had not been time to get dinner before the party, and my stomach was so tightly in knots that I wasn't sure I would be able to eat once there. I had not even had the forethought to take something for my headache before leaving.

We had to hurry down the halls, going at a brisk pace. I, of course, had to walk faster than Zechs, for my legs were considerably shorter than his, so that my pace looked more rushed than his. But Zechs always made things look easy, no matter what it was. He had an inborn grace and flow that could not be mimicked or replicated. It was all him.

In the halls, he kept glancing at me, and I eventually couldn't take it anymore. Since we were alone, and because I probably would not be able to do it for the rest of the night, I snapped at him.

"What?" I snapped, grumpy from the pain.

"Hm?" he responded, as though he had been doing nothing wrong.

"You keep staring at me. Did I tear my clothes or something?"

"It would be an improvement," he said, smiling slightly. "No, I was just thinking that we should get you something nicer to wear."

"I can assure you, these clothes are of the highest quality."

"That as it may be, they don't do you justice in the least."

"Ah, so you want to show off my body."

"Mm. I suppose you could see it that way. I just think it's a shame to hide such a perfect physique, that's all."

"I'm not perfect," I replied, blushing. "And besides, there are thousands of beautiful boys here."

"Yes, but most of them are lapdogs; trained for one purpose alone, only ever thinking of how best to attract the attention of the masters. You'd be amazed at how many heads you turn, Wufei, merely because you scorn attention. In a place like this, the best thing you can do to stand out is to go against the usual rules of conduct. You'd probably stand out less by revealing more skin. But none of that matters now. We'll speak of new outfits later. Are you ready?" he asked, pausing just beyond the entrance to the party.

I huffed in response. "As ready as I'll ever be," I told him. He smiled.

"Don't look so morose," he chided. "The others will think I'm not a good date," he said, then winked and led me into the party before I could respond.

There was, like most parties, a theme to the party I found myself in, but luckily it was nothing scandalous or outrageous. It did not even require that I change into a costume, as many of the parties did. The theme was simply dance, and the huge, high domed ballroom was filled with slaves performing various dances in various ethnic outfits. The ballroom was sectioned off into smaller areas, so that the dancers could perform without getting in each other's way. Each area also had its own sound system, so that each dancer or pair could play their own song. The masters all congregated around the dance area, watching their slaves dance or dancing with the slaves. Of course, many of these dances were nothing more than sex to music, sometimes literally, but there were a few of the dancers that were very good. A few I recognized as slaves that had previously competed in Collar, and the others I expected would be competing this year.

I worried for a moment about dancing in front of Zechs, for dance was the competition I always did my worst in. I worried that he would, with his fighter's eye, see how easily the steps came to me and how effortlessly I performed up until the jump that I always failed. I doubted, however, that I would do very well at dancing in my condition anyway. I would probably look terrible, if I were even asked.

It was an hour before my intuition was proved correct, and a master that had been speaking with Zechs suddenly turned his eyes on me.

"I don't suppose," he asked, "that you could persuade Dragon to show us his routine for Collar?" the master asked. I couldn't quite remember his name.

"Hm. I couldn't possibly ask him to reveal what he has planned for this year, but I suppose I could convince him to perform something from past years."

"Yes, that's lovely. Have you seen any of his moves?"

"Oh," Zechs said, grinning, "I've seen several of his moves, but probably none you're acquainted with."

The other master burst out laughing, giving me a rakish smile. I was well aware that Zechs was speaking of my swordsmanship, but I could only assume from his look that the other master had assumed Zechs was referring to... swordsmanship of a different kind. I wanted to glare at him, but didn't dare. My honor wouldn't let me humiliate Zechs in front of the other masters, no matter how much I wanted to.

Zechs nodded to me, and I nodded in return, then found a music station and put on my song, chose a somewhat secluded area of the dance floor, and began my routine.

The dance really wasn't all that different from my katanas. Actually, many of the moves that were in my dance had been pulled from my fighting studies. I wondered if Zechs would see that, then decided he would. He was a master fighter, and even a novice could see the fighting moves inside my dance. Of course, most of the masters at Collar missed it.

It started out slowly, the routine mimicking the movement of the wind through tree branches. It was all about balance and poise, in the first section. Then, after about a minute, the song suddenly picked up, causing my movements to mimic the movement of a storm. There were high jumps and kicks, a couple of somersaults and back flips. At the very center of the storm, at which point all the music would stop, I was to perform my most difficult jump. In this jump, I would spring from a handstand, corckscrew my body as my feet came over my head, and land on one leg. It was nearly impossible to perform, and I fell every time I performed it in public.

The dance I performed then, however was different. In this one, I wasn't even sure I was going to make it to the corckscrew, let alone land it. My head was pounding in time to my music, and I could feel my body shaking as I performed the slow part of the dance. What was wrong with me? Why couldn't I shake this feeling of... utter crap? My stomach hurt and my eyes were bleary, my vision fogged, and all I wanted to do was go back to bed.

But I couldn't just quit. I wasn't sure if Zechs would actually beat me or not for it, but the other masters would ridicule him for not having control over me, even though they had never been able to control me. And, as much as I couldn't stand masters, I had sworn to Zechs that I would obey him if he defeated me, and I would not go back on my word.

It was almost as if the music had timed my downfall. There was a crash of drums just a few seconds before my big jump in which I was to create a small, less complicated leap. In the past, I had almost enjoyed this particular jump, despite the pressure that dancing put on me. This time, however, the small jump seemed like an arduous task and, halfway through it, I realized that I had neither the energy nor the concentration to land it correctly.

I managed to catch myself just enough to ensure that I would not break anything when I landed. I hit the ground, stumbled, took several steps, and could only watch as my legs gave out and the floor rose to meet me.

There must have been a few seconds of darkness between when I fell and when I opened my eyes, but for the life of me I could not remember them. I merely remembered falling, then waking up to two unfamiliar slaves opening my eyes.

"He seems alright," on commented over his shoulder. "Should I leave him or call the medics?" he asked. Looking beyond him, I could see Zechs standing at the fence, trying to look unconcerned while I could tell that he was barely controlling the urge to come to me. The rest of the masters had wandered off when the entertainment had ceased.

"Is there a private room we can go to?" Zechs asked. "I'd rather not make a spectacle of this."

"Right this way," one said, hauling me to my feet. My world swam, my vision going dim a moment before I managed to find my feet. I heard Zechs gasp, and could see rage in his eyes.

Surely he wasn't that mad that I had fallen? I always fell. I wasn't even his slave to show off. And I was still one of the best dancers of Collar. But, despite this, the rage did not fade from Zechs' eyes, and only seemed to increase as the two slaves pushed me away from the party and to an empty bedroom.

"Is there anything else you need?" one of the slaves asked as the other pushed me to stand next to the bed. I felt the color rise in my cheeks, as I knew exactly what a room with a large bed and velvet sheets was intended for. Surely Zechs wouldn't...

"I could use a pitcher of water. Perhaps something light to snack on?" Zechs said to the slaves, who were quick to respond by hurrying out of the room. When they were gone, Zechs turned to me, frowning deeply.

"Sit down before you fall down," he ordered, "and put your feet up. Actually, lie down on the bed. That'll seem less strange to them, I think," he said even as he pushed me to lie back on the bed. I wanted to resist, but I was simply too weak. When the other two slaves arrived again, I was lying back as wantonly as any harlot.

"Is there anything else you need?" they asked, setting down the pitcher of water and tray of fruit and crackers.

"Just some privacy. There are things I need to tend to with a rather insolent slave," he said.

"Yes, Master Zechs," they said, kneeling before scurrying out the door. And then Zechs turned to me.

"Give me your hand."

"What?" I wondered, staring up at him. In the two seconds since the slaves had left, his demeanor had completely changed. Gone was the savage, leering pervert, and in his place was the gallant swordsman. But which one was real?

"Give me your hand," he said once again, reaching out to take the wrist I extended. He knelt in front of me and, bringing my hand close to his face, pinched the skin on the back of my hand.

"What are you doing?" I snapped, yanking my hand from his grip.

"Don't be such a baby," he said, reaching for my hand again. He retrieved it, pulled it to its prior position, pinched me a second time, and, after a moment of deliberation, stood up and walked away.

"You're crazy," I muttered, holding my hand to my chest.

"And you're dehydrated," he responded. I could only stare at him again. "See for yourself," he said, taking my hand and pinching me again. The skin that he had pinched stayed pinched even after he had let go.

"But... how? I didn't do anything strenuous," I protested.

"But you were attacked and drugged last night. You also had to pee thirteen times while you were drugged, for which I had to accompany you to the door for every one," he said, smiling at the memory. I blushed a dark red. Surely I hadn't asked a master to take me to the restroom!

Zechs moved and retrieved a glass of water for me, then made sure I drank the whole thing.

"I should have seen this earlier, but I guess you should have said something as well. I suppose there's nothing we can do about it now. You probably have a headache, too, but there's nothing I can do for that right now except let you relax. How long do you think we have?" he asked.

"At least an hour. Maybe more."

"Ah. Well, then, would you mind terribly if I caught forty winks while we're waiting?"

"It's my fault you're so tired anyway. If I had taken care of the intrude myself, you wouldn't have had to wake up."

"Oh, I doubted it was the late night that killed me," he said as I moved over to make room for him on the bed. "I've pulled all-nighters before. It's these constant parties that are going to be the death of me," he told me as he lay back against the pillows beside me. He sighed and set his wristwatch, then let his arms drop to the bed as his eyes closed. "I'll just take a little nap. Make sure... you... drink..." he sighed, and was already asleep. Looking closely, I could see the bags under his eyes, and the faint lines of stress on his face. Unfortunately, being so close, I could also see how beautiful he was, how well formed his face was, and how glossy his hair was.

I had to remind myself several times that evening that I hated Zechs.


	78. Zechs 77

The nap I managed to sneak while Wufei was recovering gave me the energy to finish the party without anyone being the wiser to my exhausted state. Unfortunately, I still had to deal with Shinigami when I returned to the apartment. I didn't relish the idea.

I worried about Wufei for the rest of the party, but despite my concerns he seemed to have bounced back rather quickly. I couldn't help feeling more than a little guilty for missing the tell-tale signs of dehydration in him, and my only excuse was the paralyzing exhaustion that taking care of five teenage boys, going to back to back parties, and breaking a slave ring could cause. I did manage to use his fall as en excuse to leave early, though, so at least one good thing came of the night.

Back at the apartment, Quatre was already asleep, resting against Trowa, who was watching TV as he gently stroked the small blonde's hair. It was a touching scene, one I hoped that my next slave would replicate with Heero, but I had little hope that the Shinigami would show such tenderness toward him. I regretted now that I had not refused him the minute I saw him huddled in the cage, and could only blame a lingering sense of guilt from being helpless to save him at the Duke's party for my momentary lapse of judgement. I had wanted to alleviate some of Heero's stress, not add to it tenfold by putting the responsibility for a demon on his shoulders. If I hadn't known Heero's strength and tenacity, I would have been surprised the apartment was still in tact, with Shinigami inside.

Which it was so surprising for me to open the door to the slave's quarters to find Shinigami, not only asleep, but haphazardly thrown across Heero's lap, snoring slightly without a care in the world. They were both on the floor, and Heero's back was resting against the edge of the bed. Two empty plates of food sat beside them. As I entered, I just barely caught sight of Heero running his fingers through Shinigami's bangs, watching the colors of the strands dance together. When I entered, he pulled back, as though he had been caught doing something wrong. If I hadn't been so amazed, I would have laughed.

I motioned and slowly, carefully, and with great reluctance, Heero slid out from under Shinigami, who yawned and rolled over, but stayed firmly asleep as Heero gently settled him to the ground.

Once in the hall, I couldn't seem to find the words to speak to Heero. He seemed to grasp my problem, though, and spoke first.

"He... He's really not so bad," Heero said, staring decidedly at his feet. Did he feel guilty about liking someone who was so uncontrollable, ill-tempered, and bad mannered? Or was he simply ashamed that he had let himself get so close to someone so quickly? Did he think I'd be angry?

"I..." and for once, words utterly failed me. How to express that I wasn't angry, while also expressing my disapproval of the other's actions? For certainly I didn't mind that Heero got along with the wild slave, but I couldn't condone that slave's actions, nor would I allow Heero to mimic them.

Heero took my silence for disapproval, and clenched his fists at his sides. His body tensed and he still would not raise his eyes to me, but I knew that they would be filled with pain. I couldn't bare to have him so upset, and pulled him to me. He came unresisting, and raised his arms to cling to me after only a moment of uncertainty.

"I'm not angry," I said softly against the top of his head. "Merely confused. He was so... so vicious before I left. What did you say to quiet him?" I wondered. Heero tensed again, and remained quiet for a moment.

"I... didn't do anything. As soon as you left... he calmed."

"But... why?"

"He hates masters. That's why he's so wild around you, and aggressive toward you. Once you were gone... it was like he was a completely different person. He still talked a lot, but he was very friendly. He still cursed, but it was much milder. We had lunch together, then I sat with him while he talked himself to sleep."

"I see," I told him, moving away to look into his eyes. "Perhaps, since he's here for two days anyway, you can try to convince him to... tolerate me, at least for the two days he's here."

"I can try," Heero responded, but didn't sound very hopeful. I moved closer again, bringing him back into my arms and kissing the top of his forehead.

"I appreciate what you're doing for me," I told him. "I don't even want to think about what Shinigami would be like if you weren't around to keep an eye on him," I said, nuzzling the top of Heero's head. Somehow, though, my words didn't make him feel any better, and instead he suddenly looked sadder. I opened my mouth to say something, but the door to the slaves' quarters suddenly flew open.

Shinigami stood in the door way, looking suspicious for only a moment, before his eyes filled with pure rage.

"Get your filthy hands off him!" he roared, yanking Heero from my grasp.

"Duo, no!" Heero gasped as he was roughly shoved behind the irate boy.

Duo?

"Look, you sicko, I don't know what you and all the other jerks think, but you can't just go around doing whatever you want! You...!"

"Duo!" Heero hissed, spinning the other boy around and grabbing his face. "He wasn't hurting me. He wasn't trying to do anything. We were just talking," he said firmly.

"But... But I saw... But he was..." the long-haired teen stuttered. "A.. Are you sure?" he asked, looking deeply into the other's eyes, trying to see if Heero were lying for my sake.

"I'm sure," Heero responded.

"Well," Shinigami said, turning to me, "then I guess I'm sorry or whatever. But you're still a jerk," he said, then proceeded to storm into the slaves' quarters and slam the door.

Which left me in the hallway staring, agape, at Heero.

"What was that?" I finally managed to snap.

"I don't know! I don't understand half of what he does! He just... he was nice... for a while," Heero finished lamely, staring in hurt confusion at the door.

"Well...!" I tried to snap, but simply couldn't hold onto my anger with Heero looking so forlorn. "Just... see if you can get him to calm down in the next half hour. Then he will have a bath," I told him firmly. No slave in my household was going to look like a gutter-rat. Heero nodded, then entered the room, closing the door behind him.

Which left me huffing another sigh and heading for the medicine cabinet and a well-worn bottle of aspirin. Dryly I noted that I should probably buy stock in the company, because I was likely to triple their output by the end of this mission. If not more.

Wufei had joined Trowa and Quatre in lazing in the den, but unlike the other pair he was reading a book instead of watching the comedy on the screen. It caught my interest, as I had not had time to buy or bring any books, so it could not be one of mine.

"What is that?" I asked, sitting down beside Wufei.

"A book," he replied, flicking his eyes over the tops of the pages toward me.

"I can see that. What of?"

"Ancient Chinese proverbs."

"Ah. Are any of them good?"

"Good as in wise? All of them. Good as in nice? Very few."

"I see. Since I don't need anymore bad news, I'll leave you to your reading," I said. I moved and sat on the loveseat to give Wufei his space, but I couldn't seem to stop looking at him. Something was tickling the edge of my conscious, and I couldn't figure out what.

I spent several minutes staring blindly at the TV before sighing and giving up. It was at this moment that I chose to glance at Trowa, which made me realize what I had been thinking, for Trowa was staring longingly at the book in Wufei's hands. If Wufei had been a teacher, perhaps...

But it was all moot. Wufei would be gone in a few days, and there was nothing I could do about it. I would merely have to run the risk of hiring a tutor for Trowa, and hope that he wasn't too nervous to learn.

Fifteen minutes later, I heaved myself out of the chair and headed for the slaves' quarters, hoping that I wouldn't regret it.

"Heero?" I called, opening the door. "It's time for Shinigami's bath."

"F you!" came the snarled reply.

"Duo!" Heero snapped. I wondered, for the second time, what a Duo was.

"What? I'm not going!"

"Yes, you are. You smell bad."

"Well who made you such a wussy? If you can't stand my smell, leave!"

"You're both leaving," I snapped, "because you are getting a bath and you are going to help me with him," I told them, then grabbed Shinigami by the arm, tossed him over my shoulder, and proceeded to the master bathroom. Once there, I dropped Shinigami into the empty tub and turned on the tap. When he tried to scramble out, I pushed him back down forcefully, accidentally making him hit his head on the wall. He became dazed enough to sit still, which was a blessing.

I probably made it sound like this was all very efficient. In truth, it was the sloppiest mission I had ever carried out. Not only did Shinigami thrash the entire way to the bathroom, but he also screamed like a banshee and tried to grab anything to knock me off balance. Which he did at least three times before we got to the bathroom, where he fought to stay out of the bathtub. It wasn't until he hit his head that he calmed, and I didn't dare hope that it was more than a temporary quiet.

Heero arrived a moment later, and we both set to the task of cleaning Shinigami. Surprisingly, the boy remained fairly docile as we washed him, sulking on his knees in the water. Heero scrubbed his arms and fingers while I grabbed a bucket and began to wash the dirty mass that was his hair. After a few minutes of silence, I finally felt that words probably wouldn't spook Shinigami into another attack.

"What's a duo?" I asked Heero, who was scrubbing at a particularly dirty fingernail.

"Ah... it's his name."

"But you still have to call me Shinigami!"

A gave a sharp tug to the boy's hair. "Behave yourself," I warned. He growled in frustration, but settled back into the water. Meanwhile, Heero had moved from fingers to toes, and I was starting to shampoo the long strands of Shinigami's hair. It was beautiful, if only he didn't have such terrible dandruff.

"'M I just gonna stay naked all the time?" Duo huffed moodily.

"I should make you earn clothes. We'll find something of Heero's for you to wear and...

I trailed off, scrubbing harder at the little spots on the boy's hair.

"Master?" Heero asked, bringing me back to task.

"What-... Oh! Sorry, I just can't get this dandruff to come out. Anyway, I think Heero is about your size and..." I trailed again, peering more closely at the boy's scalp. "Oh hell."

"What is it, master?"

"Lice."


	79. Heero 78

Duo tensed until the muscles in his shoulders stood out drastically.

"You have to be kidding me!" he shouted, pulling away from Master's grasp. "You're not cutting my hair off! I'll kill you first! I'll-...!"

"Sit down!" Master snapped, getting to his feet. "Cutting your hair is probably a breach of contract anyway, now sit down!" he hissed. Duo obeyed and, once he was seated, Master stormed out of the room.

"Trowa!" I heard him call as he stormed down the hall. I turned to Duo.

With Master gone, all the anger that had held him up poured out of him and left him slumped in the shallow water, his arms wrapped around himself protectively, his head hung. He didn't move as I approached, but his head came up as I laid a hand on his shoulder.

"He's gonna cut it, isn't he?" Duo asked despairingly.

"I don't think so," I told him, but he wasn't assured.

"He is! I know he is! Why would he bother to clean it when he's only got me for two days, and then I'll probably be dead anyway?" he gushed, putting his head back down.

I moved to comfort him, but Master's voice came from the bedroom before I could move.

"Heero! Finish Shini's bath, pronto!" he snapped. "Then get him dressed."

"Yes, Master," I sighed, even though I knew he couldn't hear me.

"I can bathe myself," Duo said, grabbing the washrag from the side of the tub. "You don't need to help me," he said sullenly, beginning to slowly wash his legs.

"Then I'll go get you some clothes," I said, then rose and went my dresser in the master bedroom to get some of my clothes. In the bedroom, Master was busy pulling his hair back into a severe bun. In light of the recent catastrophe, he was probably very nervous about his own hair.

"You're going to have to be de-bugged, too, you know," he said, never looking away from the mirror. "It's possible the other three haven't caught it, because they stayed away from Shinigami, but you were far too close to risk infection. Once you're clean, we'll get rid of the clothes you and Shinigami are wearing, and the sheets in the slaves' quarters. The mattresses, too, probably. Do you think we should have the carpet cleaned?"

"Master... it's just a little bug."

"Uh..." he stuttered, coming back to himself from the "mission mode" he had put himself in. He blushed, and laughed. "I guess you're right. Suppose it will be enough to have everything washed thoroughly?"

"I should think so."

"Now," he sighed, "the big problem. Is Shinigami the only one with lice, or..."

"The rest of us do not have lice. The warehouses check for lice before any slave is allowed in. I don't know how he got them."

"I escaped," Duo snapped, leaving the bathroom to enter the bedroom a towel wrapped around his waist.

"You what?" Master asked.

"You heard me. I escaped. Jumped on a ship headed for L2 and hid in a pile of old rags. That's were I got the little buggers, so don't go blamin' anybody else or yellin' at the other slaves. It was all me, because I'm such an idiot that I decided it was better to go for two weeks without food in the hanger of a stuffy shuttle than stay in this hole another minute. If the damn captain hadn't kicked me in the balls I'd already be three days out on a fourteen day trip to freedom. 'S why those jerks at the warehouse were so eager to shove me off on the next dumb-ass who walked by."

"I see," Master said, giving no indication as to whether or not he was insulted by Duo calling him an idiot. I decided that I had better intervene, before Duo pushed Master too far. He was, after all, my responsibility.

"Come on," I ordered, pushing Duo back into the bathroom. "We need to get you dressed."

I closed the door. Once the door was closed, he immediately quieted and put on the clothes that I handed him. The shirt was a little too big, and the pants were a little too short, but all in all it fit well enough.

"Do we have to go back out there?" he asked me, and I noticed that the melancholy had settled over his body again.

"Yes."

"Can't we just... you know... hole up in here?"

"We have to fix this problem."

"I'm really sorry," he said suddenly, grasping my hand and looking into my eyes. "You know? I really didn't mean to give this to you or anything. If I had known, I wouldn't have gotten so close. Really."

"I never thought that you deliberately would have infected me," I told him, "but I can't condone your wanting to stay infected. You have to let Master fix this."

"Master, master, master," he said disgustedly, tossing down my hand. "He's not superman, you know!" he growled, and wouldn't look at me.

"I know, but he is very kind to us," I replied, uncertain of what I should say. Again, the anger drained out of Duo as though some kind of plug had been pulled. I wished he'd choose a mood, all these changes were beginning to give me a headache.

"I felt the same way about my first master..." he said, his voice trailing off. His eyes went misty with remembrance, and a slow smile crept onto his face.

"Master Zechs is not my first master," I told him.

"What? Oh. Well, I guess it's not really because he was my first. He was just the best," Duo said, the joker's grin back on his face. "The best at everything, know what I mean? But Zechsy is pro'bly pretty good, too, if everything is in proportion. Is it?" he asked, raising his eyebrows several times in what seemed to be some sort of twitch.

"I'm not certain what you're asking. Do you want to know the size of his penis?" I asked. Duo looked for a moment as though he had been punched in the gut, then suddenly doubled over with laughter. I wasn't sure what he found so funny.

It didn't matter, though, because Master called us out before I could say anything else. Master's voice killed any mirth Duo might have gained, and he was instantly the spitting cat he had been in the cage. I led him out of the room, careful to keep him close enough to grab if he were to lash out.

I found that Trowa had returned from the pharmacy with medicated shampoo to kill the lice, which Master and Trowa applied to my and Duo's hair unsparingly. We were then forced to sit in the bathroom for fifteen minutes while the shampoo took effect, a trial that I bore with much more patience than Duo. After that, we had our hair thoroughly rinsed out and were whisked into the kitchen, where we were forced to sit still while Master combed out Duo's hair with a tiny comb and Trowa combed mine. Duo, of course, found that sitting still while a near stranger played with his hair was nearly unbearable.

"Ouch, damnit! You're supposed to get the bugs out not yank the hair out by the roots! Shit! You'd be better off using a lazer to get them out!"

"Be quiet or I'll use a steak knife," Master threatened, not even glancing away from his task. Behind me, Trowa was having a much less difficult time with me, for I was not only holding still and had short hair, but also probably did not have any or many visible lice or eggs. Duo, on the other hand, was constantly moving, had extremely long hair, and had given the lice enough time to breed. Master was doing his best by pinning most of the hair up and only working on tiny sections, but it was still so long that it became knotted or wrapped around the comb when he tried to pull it out. There was also the fact that master was somewhat terrified of the tiny insects, and was actually dipping the comb in a small bowl of acid to be sure the bugs and their offspring were completely dead.

"Ow!" Duo cursed as Master once again hit a snag and had to unknot the hair. "What the hell, I want him!" Duo griped, pointing at Trowa. "He's nice and doesn't pull out all the hair!"

"Trowa's not being more gentle that I am, Heero's just less of a baby than you are," Master replied, still working on Duo's hair.

"Hey!" Duo hissed, turning to glare at Master. In response, Master used the hair he was holding to twist Duo head back to where it should be. Duo yelped, tears springing to his eyes, but looked more humiliated than injured. I would have felt bad for him, but he really did bring it on himself, and Master had been more than lenient with him. Any other master would have severely beaten him, even for something as accidental as picking up lice. The curses and attacks would have been dealt with swiftly in another household. Duo was lucky he had been given to Master, and yet all he had done all he could to get sent back to the warehouse. In a way, I couldn't understand it, but in other ways I knew exactly what he felt like. Who didn't dream of yelling at the cruel masters of Collar? Who didn't want to disobey them? As Shinigami, Duo could do that without being punished. But why live the life as an unwanted slave when Master was offering so much more? Couldn't he let go of the anger long enough to see how good living with Master was?

And why did I feel that I needed to show him, to prove to him that life could be worth living?


	80. Heero 79

I gain energy from reviews. Feed me.

It took another six hours to get Duo's hair completely cleaned. Once my hair was finished, Master and Trowa began to take turns combing Duo's hair. After a little while I realized that his hair was long enough for two people to brush without getting in each other's way, and I too began combing Duo out. It was exhausting, both for us and for him, because we were forced to comb out what amounted to a yard of silk thread, and because Duo was forced to sit perfectly still in an upright position while having his head jerked around for nearly eight hours. One would think, being that tired, Duo would not be able to find the strength to bicker with master, but one would be wrong.

"You all sleep in the same bed? Ew! That's gross!" Duo said, crinkling his nose in disgust.

"I would prefer you keep your opinions of my private life to yourself," Master said in a tiredly annoyed manner as he washed his hands in the kitchen sink.

"Keep me the hell out of your private life and I'll keep my opinions to myself! I'm not gonna sleep where you fuck-...!"

"Then don't!" Master snapped, drying his hands as he entered the den. "Sleep in the slaves quarters, sleep on the floor, sleep in the refrigerator for all I care!" Master shouted, tossing down the towel before lifting a sleepy Quatre from the couch. "The rest of us will be sleeping together in the master bedroom, there's plenty of room, and nothing weird is going to happen. But do whatever the hell you want. It's not like you're going to believe me anyway," he growled, then stormed into the bedroom, carrying Quatre with him. Once inside, I could just barely hear Quatre's soft voice calming Master as he changed for bed. Trowa was quick to follow them, after washing his hands, and Wufei, though still reluctant, also followed the implied command and disappeared into the master bedroom.

Which left only Duo and myself standing in the livingroom.

"Just go," Duo sighed, collapsing onto the floor, "I know how eager you are to be with your master."

"Will you be alright?"

"Heh," he laughed, but it was lacking any energy or real mirth. "Stuck in a huge apartment with a stocked refrigerator and 149 channels? I think I'll survive."

"You should go to bed," I told him, letting my eyes take stock of his haggard and exhausted appearance. "Do you know where the slave's quarters are?"

"First door in the kitchen, right? There aren't that many rooms in this place, Heero. I won't get lost."

"Alright," I said, then, not knowing what else to do, turned toward the master bedroom.

"Hey, Heero?" Duo called.

"Yes?" I said, turning back.

"I'm sorry about being such a pain."

"Hn. You would be less of a pain if you were more civil to Master."

"Eh... yeah. But... for that, I would have to not hate him. And I do... well... don't... uh... I mean, I do hate him. Not just him, but, you know, all masters. Every single one of them."

"Hn," I replied, looking at those dark violet eyes. "Sometimes there are exceptions to the rules."

"Huh? Jeeze, never thought I'd hear you say that. Maybe you're right, but it doesn't really matter, does it? I mean, I'll be dead in two days anyway, so I might as well do whatever I want, right?"

On some level, I knew that Duo would die after the auction was over. So why did his admission of impending death suddenly cause such pain to flare inside me? I mean, the man was obviously insane, jaded, and violent. Wouldn't death be a release?

I couldn't think of a reply to that and, hesitant to allow Duo to see my internal turmoil, I turned on my heel and marched into the bedroom. I was trying to stuff my wayward emotions back into their box, like a good little soldier, but it was proving more difficult than I had anticipated. What was it about the Shinigami that turned my life on its side?

I had more problems than just Shinigami that night. I suddenly found myself returned to that strange coldness that I had felt when Trowa had first arrived, and when Quatre and Trowa had gotten together. It was the same feeling I had when Master had slept with Wufei on the couch, and I had spent the night beside Trowa and Quatre. Only, this time, the evidence of my predicament was directly in front of me. As Trowa and Quatre curled together in their sleep, so did Master and Wufei. Though Dragon was standoffish and uptight while awake, he sought the comfort and warmth of Master in his sleep, and curled up on master's chest as I had done. His head was carefully tucked beneath Master's chin, his loose hair spilling down Master's shoulders to mix with the golden locks that tumbled from Master's head. There was a look of contentment on both faces that I had rarely seen, and never wore.

But, strangest of all, was my own lack on animosity toward Wufei. I puzzled over it for a time, while laying on my side and watching the slumbering pair. I thought for a while that it could be because Wufei was the Owner's slave, and thus was not a threat, but it didn't seem to make sense. He was taking my Master away, none the less, and there was less need for me. But, somehow, I had finally come to accept that Master would not sell me for something as simple as another slave making an appearance, and that perhaps I was needed after all. But that still could not explain why I was not at Wufei's throat, trying to regain my place with Master.

Sleep eluded me, and after a while I sighed and got up. The warmth that usually held me in bed was not there, and something was tickling the edge of my consciousness. Silently, I slipped from the bed and into the hallway.

I had some notion of going to the kitchen and getting a drink, but quickly forgot this as I approached. There were strange noises coming from the slave's quarters and, fearing a repeat of Wufei's first night with Duo, I rushed silently into the room, hoping to surprise and disarm the attacker.

But there was no one in the room with Duo. Instead, Duo himself was making the noises of distress, fighting his bedsheets as he thrashed in the hold of a nightmare.

It was instinct more than anything that made me move. Instinct told me to move closer, while logic pointed out that moving close to someone who is thrashing in their sleep can only lead to pain. The were both right; Duo's arm smacked me down to the bed where I had crawled beside him, but his kicking stopped instantly when he came in contact with me. His breathing was still deep and even, so I had no worries that I had woken him.

It puzzled me that his nightmares had stopped so suddenly when I touched him, for there was no way he could have known it was me. For all he knew, I could be a thief or assassin, but he had all the same relaxed as soon as he touched me. It didn't make any logical sense. But, then again, my nightmares fled upon another person being in the room in much the same way. Perhaps Duo needed human contact to keep his at bay?

I looked down at the slim, heart-shaped face before me and sighed. There were terrible bags under his eyes and, though he had been asleep for hours, it didn't seem like he had gotten any rest at all. I scooted closer to him, pulling the blanket out from under me as I went, and resigned myself to sleeping in the slaves' quarters tonight. As reckless and obnoxious as he was, Duo was still my charge, and I could not allow anything to harm him, even figments of his own imagination. I missed having Master's arms around me and feeling his warmth at my back, but, feeling Duo's arms come up to wrap around my neck as he snuggled into my embrace, I felt almost like I belonged there. Duo was not Master, or anyone else that I trusted, but there was something warm and inviting about him all the same. He had a need for me, I think, which I felt I needed to answer. Be it because of Master's orders or because of my own need to serve, it was impossible for me to tell, but it didn't really matter.

As I pulled the covers over myself and the demon in my arms, nothing really seemed to matter anymore.


	81. Duo 80

I woke up feeling bright and refreshed, so I knew instantly that there was something wrong. Not that I didn't like feeling warm, cheerful, and well rested, but there were only three times when I woke up to that feeling; when I was drunk, when I was drugged, and when I was raped. Obviously, I was a little afraid of feeling good.

I noted that there were arms around me. They weren't tight, like they expected me to run or fight, but they were holding me back either way. So, either I was still in Collar and in the arms of a heavy-sleeping master, or I had magically managed to get away, get drunk, and was currently snoozing in the arms of a rather flat-chested young bar maid.

I opened my eyes to see a head of extremely clean shaggy brown hair. Ah. Scenario four, when a kind hearted slave took pity on the nightmare haunted savage and bunked with him to let him sleep. This one didn't happen all that often, because a lot of the slaves were more afraid of me than their masters were, but every so often one would take the risk. A couple had been hoping I would kill them when they did it, others were being hen-pecked by the rest of the harem and decided the safest place for them was right next to the sleeping monster, and a few had just been too stupid to know danger when they saw it. Of course, I hadn't hurt any of them. I mean, I wasn't really a monster, I just wanted to be left alone. As long as the slaves weren't trying to hurt me, I didn't have any problem with them. It was the masters I wanted to throttle.

So, back to the situation at hand. Not the worst scenario possible, but not the best either. Way above rape, but still a few rungs below drunk and barmaid. I wondered, as I slipped out of Heero's arms, if he had decided to help me out of the goodness of his heart, or because his master ordered him to. Since his master didn't like me much, and because there were two other beds in the room, I guessed it was because Heero was such a sweet kid. I was glad he had found a master like Zechs, who would take good care of him, though I really wished that he had never had a master at all. But, then again, I'd seen what could happen to orphans on the streets, and it was sometimes worse than what happened to slaves. At least a slave was fed and well-groomed. So perhaps it was simply better to say that I wished Heero had been more fortunate. There, a good wish with no possibility of backlash.

Heero made a noise as he adjusted to my body's removal, and for a second I thought he would wake up, but he kept right on sleeping. I felt kind of bad about sneaking away like that, but I didn't think that I could stay in bed, either. Despite having nightmares every time I slept alone, I really couldn't stand being touched or held like that. Too many beatings or something, I guessed, but whatever it was I had trouble being touched. Which, really, wasn't trouble at all, because most of the time no one dared to touch me unless I was drugged half way to hell or sleeping. Both times in which I wasn't conscious enough to give a damn.

I was hungry, but I wasn't dumb enough to try to find food in a place where the master hated me, the other slaves didn't know me, and I didn't know where the food was. So, having no other choice, I tossed myself down on the bed next to Heero and shut my eyes, knowing very well that I wouldn't be able to get back to sleep.

I stayed there for about half an hour before I heard the patter of feet telling me that someone else was up. It was a soft sound, so much so that I knew it couldn't be the master. I assumed that it was probably the tall green-eyed slave, who had the style of a dancer and the voice of a mouse.

The door opened, but instead of the green-eyed boy being in the doorway, the little blonde was there instead. I slitted my eyes, pretending to be asleep and wondering what he was up to. He took a minute to look and me and Heero, probably making sure we were asleep, before proceeding past us into the little bathroom across the room.

Ever hear that "Curiosity killed the cat," saying? If I were a cat, I'd be dead like a hundred times by now.

So, being the little sneak that I am, I slipped out of bed and padded silently to the doorway of the bathroom, then peaked through the crack between the door and the wall. Inside, the blonde boy was rifling through the cupboard under the sink. He seemed to find what he wanted, then stood, a small yellow bottle of prescription pills in his hand. The water was running, so I opened the door a hair more to get a better look. I couldn't help glancing at the name on the bottle. While I'll never be able to pronounce it, I recognized the prescription as the same one that had been forced upon me by several masters to quiet me. It hadn't worked, as instead of quieting me it had merely shut down my emotions and nearly turned me into a robot. But, regardless, it was a powerful antipsychotic. Was the fucker forcing it on the blonde? How badly behaved would someone his size have to be to warrant such a punishment? And he had seemed weak, was it because of the pills? Damnit, those things nearly killed me by overdosing on four pills, what were they doing to him?

"Shit," I muttered, then realized my mistake as the blonde boy jumped a mile, tossing the bottle into the air, and spilling most of the tiny pills into the sink, where the water washed them away. The boy spun to look at me, his eyes wide and face pale with terror. He looked into my eyes with that kind of fear that makes me sick. The one a cow has when looking at a butcher. But his eyes only paused on me for a second, then darted behind me.

"Shit, man, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you like that."

"I-it's alright," he replied shakily, still trying to see around me. "Where is-..."

"Quatre?" Heero asked as he sleepily pushed me out of the doorway. "What's going on? I heard a commotion and... what are you doing here?"

"I..." the blonde said, then hesitated.

Of course he hesitated. What was he supposed to say? "Oh, I was just in here taking my happy pills when the god of death walked in and scared the shit out of me. It's no big deal, master will just have to buy me another bottle of these pills, which are probably worth more than he paid for me." Yeah, like that would go over real well. On the one hand, if the master knew about the pills, then Quatre, which I could only assume was the boy's name, would be in trouble for dropping the bottle and costing the master more money. If the master didn't know, there was a very good possibility he would sell Quatre when he found out. No one ever wanted to deal with a crazy slave, for fear that they would freak out randomly. Only the most prized slaves, like lucky me, were considered valuable enough to drug. Given the fact that the master would also have to buy the slave the expensive medicine all the time, masters were very hesitant to take on slaves that were considered crazy. Not that any of us could be considered sane.

But, anyway, back to the scene at hand. Heero stepped forward and pulled the bottle out of Quatre's lax grasp, then read the label. Quatre looked like he just wanted to slide into the cabinet and die. As Heero read, he frowned in confusion, finally looking up at Quatre when he finished.

"Quatre... what...? Does master know?" Heero wondered.

"No, he doesn't... but I was going to tell him! I swear, Heero, it's not what you think!"

"Then tell me what it is," Heero demanded in his monotone. Jeeze, this guy was scary, always talking without emotion. Creepy.

"It-.. I... It's difficult to explain..."

"Look," Heero said, staring at the bottle in his hand, "It's none of my business. As long as master knows, you don't need to explain anything to me. Just make sure you tell him."

"I will," Quatre said with conviction, then sudenly smiled sheepishly. "Really, I guess I have to now," he said, taking the bottle back. "I just lost all but three pills. I'll need master to buy me a refill."

I gaped at the two of them for three whole seconds.

"What are you thinking?" I bellowed. "You think the big blonde bad-ass is just going to let this blow over? He'll fry your ass!"

"Duo," Heero snapped, "Be quiet. You don't know what you're talking about."

"The hell I don't! I've had more masters than you have hair!" I yelled, then turned to Quatre. "You tell the big prick that you're on happy pills and he's gonna drop you like a hot potato!"

"Duo!" Heero yelled, grabbing my braid and giving it a tug sharp enough to bring me to my knees. From the floor I looked up to see the little blonde looking so terrified that he would be physically ill. Good. It was about time someone kicked these idiots out of pretty pony land and showed 'em the real world. "Master is not like that. He's not going to abandon one of his slaves just because he needs some medicine," Heero finished, glaring at me.

"When are you going to wise up? The kid might be a good fuck, but he's not good enough to be worth that kind of money."

"It's not about money. The master doesn't care about that."

"It doesn't matter how rich they are. They're only gonna pay for a purebred hole. They don't want one that's got flaws."

"Damnit, would you listen! I swear to you, nothing bad will happen to Quatre, unless it's for lying! And I know master won't even beat him for it."

"I wouldn't bet on it."

"I would."

I snorted, looking him up and down.

"And what do you have to bet with? It's not like slaves are allowed to own anything, and, sorry dude, but I've had better bodies than yours, if that's what you're going for," I said, sneering. Heero was unfazed.

"Master bought me some jewelry for my costumes. If I lose, it's yours."

"Huh," I said, considering it. I wasn't interested in looking pretty or anything like that, but if I managed to escape, which was a big, huge, crater-sized "if", then I could pawn some of the jewelry for food. But I also realized that Heero would be in trouble for "losing" the jewelry. Well... maybe a taste of the whip would put the kid's head on straight. And Zechs didn't seem like such a bad guy, no matter what I said. Maybe he wouldn't be so rough on him.

"Alright," I said. "So what do you want for your end? I'm warning you, I don't do sex, and I'm not givin' up the braid."

"If I win, you have to behave yourself and be civil to master for one whole day."

"Well what the hell? I can mind my manners for a day!" I said, laughing. "Not that I'll have to," I said, getting off my ass and heading for the door. "You tell the master all about your problems, Kitty-Cat, and when you're all purple and junk I'll be sittin' pretty with the diamonds."


	82. Quatre 81

I put off talking to master for another couple of hours. Master decided that, if Heero and Duo were going shopping, there would have to be at least two escorts with him, so that Duo didn't get out of control. Wufei was chosen to go, and I managed to convince Trowa to go as well, though I didn't really have to beg much. Trowa and I had grown really close in the short amount of time we had known each other. So close, in fact, in such a short time that it scared me. Slaves weren't allowed to fall in love, and I was terrified to admit that I was doing just that. More than that, it seemed that Trowa was falling for me as well. And, as much as I liked Trowa, I wasn't ready to give up the life master had allowed me by breaking a rule that could get both Trowa and myself sold separately. I got so scared sometimes that it was hard to breath, but Trowa was always there to calm me. His mind was so pure, clear, and free of malice that it was like a soothing balm to my own.

I wished, as I watched Master reading on the couch, that I had Trowa's soft presence with me now. But I knew that had he been there, I never would have been able to face master. No, this was something I had to do on my own.

Clutching the almost empty bottle of pills to my chest, I approached and stood in front of master. After only a moment, he looked up, then closed his book and set it aside.

"Do you need something?" he asked.

I tried to form the words I had been rehearsing for the past hour, but nothing would come out. My mouth was frozen shut. So, instead, I merely handed him the bottle, hoping he would understand what I could not say. He reached out and took the bottle, frowning as he read it. When he finished, he looked up at me, then back down at the bottle, then back to me.

"I don't understand," he said simply. "What is this? I mean, I know what these are for, but why are you taking them? Or are you? Is it one of the other boys? It's Duo, isn't it? Not that I'm surprised..."

"No!" I gasped, jumping in before the lie could get away. The last thing I wanted was to get someone else in trouble for my problems. "Duo hasn't done anything. These pills... they're mine. I've been taking them."

"I see," he said slowly, rolling the bottle between his fingers. "Come sit with me," he said suddenly, moving to make room for me. I went to sit stiffly beside him, but he pulled me into his lap instead, tucking my head under his chin. Instantly I felt better. This was the master I knew.

"Now," he said once I was settled, "Tell me everything."

"I..." I trailed, my mind going blank. "I don't know where to start," I admitted.

"Why don't you tell me where you got these pills, and why you need them?"

"The doctor gave them to me when my back got infected. He... I told him about my... problem, and he gave me the pills to stop it."

"Problem?" he asked, shifting me closer. I could almost feel the concern radiating from him. It relaxed me, and I was able to continue without fear.

"I'm empathic. I can feel the emotions of others. And in a place like this..." I trailed off. There was so much pain in Collar, that it was a constant struggle to tune it out. I had felt like the weight of the worked rested on my shoulders, and it was crushing me.

"An empath?" master said, startled. I could understand why, for there were very few true empaths. But if I wasn't an empath, then I was living in a psychotic hell, for that was how my days at Collar felt. "How do you know for sure?"

"My father had me tested for empathic abilities when I was very little. They proved scientifically that my brain was sensitive enough to pick up on the brainwaves of others."

"Father? Doctors?" master wondered. "But those kinds of tests cost millions. I thought... as a slave..." he trailed, looking confused. I could tell that he didn't want to insult me y referencing my past or the fact that I was now a slave. I was almost glad he hadn't asked, for the past was very painful to me, but I knew that I had to tell him. Master had a right to know.

"I wasn't always a slave," I told him softly, curling close and resting my cheek against his chest for comfort. He held me closer and leaned back into the couch. I wished I could go to sleep, but I had a story to tell. "I was born into a very rich household. If I tell you the name now, you might not believe me, so I won't say it yet. My father had many, many daughters, but only one son. I was the youngest, the baby of the family. My sisters ranged in age from nearly forty to only a few years older than I was. There were several that I couldn't recognize, because they lived far away. I think there were 29, total."

Master whistled appreciatively.

"I only have one sister, and that's bad enough," he told me, nuzzling my head gently and attempting to lighten the mood. I smiled for him, but could not hold it long. Too many negative feelings inside me for smiling.

"They weren't bad, most of them. A lot of them really cared about me, I think. The older ones always doted on me when the came home for visits, and the ones that were closer to my age would play with me when I wasn't being trained to take over the family business. Unfortunately, my father believed that I would have to be prepared for my position at any time, and had me working almost ceaselessly with tutors and teachers. My teachers never really gave me any trouble, but my older sisters who lived with us were always saying how dumb I must be to need so much schooling. Some of them went to school, but not many. Most of them shopped and... well, that was about it. When they didn't think I was listening, they would talk about how unfair it was that I was inheriting the business, and how much more freedom they would have if father's money were split up equally. I knew they were jealous, but I didn't think it would ever come to anything. I mean, they were my sisters!"

"It's alright," master said, rubbing my back. I only realized then how upset I was getting. It hurt to think about the memories, but I felt I needed to continue.

"Maudia was always the smartest. If she wasn't, no one dared to do any better. Sometimes I think the others just went along with her because she was so mean. She had her favorites, a few of my sisters who were always with her, but no one ever went against her. She was one of the first ten to be born, so she was older than all my other sisters who stayed at home. It made her seem wise, if bitter and angry. Made her seem mature instead of old. Whatever the case, she never liked me. I think that she had wanted to be head of the family after father died, and whenever I was born her dreams were crushed. Many of my other sisters were relieved by this, because no one wanted to live under Maudia, but no one told her."

I stopped for a minute and took a deep breath. Master waited patiently for me to continue.

"When I was taken, I didn't even think that someone I knew could be involved. Rich people get kidnapped all the time, right? In retrospect, I realized that no kidnapper could get past our security without help, but by then it was too late. I didn't believe that I was going to be a slave. I thought it was all a trick. The person who broke me for Master Marcel had to prove it to me... painfully. Really, I held out hope of a rescue, or a ransom, or anything right up until the time that Master Marcel... claimed me. After that, I just went numb."

I stopped again, remembering the ice that had encased my heart. I hadn't been alive. I acted like a walking corpse. The only thing that told me I was alive was the constant pain my empathy pushed on me. But even that could barely reach me.

"Seeing my father's funeral on TV brought me out of it. I was being taken by my master at the time, and he was watching TV while he did it. When I saw it... something broke. I knew I would have to get myself out of this mess, because father could not. I waited until he was done, and then late that night I spliced the wires of the phone and managed to make a call. I had been tutored in electronics as a child and, though I never understood why it was something I would need to know, I was grateful now. I prayed that the call wouldn't be intercepted, for I knew the kind of punishments given to slaves who tried to escape. Luckily, the call wasn't noticed, and one of my sisters picked up the call. At the time, I didn't even think about the fact that she was one of Maudia's girls. I was just so relieved to see my family again, to be assured that I was not in some parallel universe. That this wasn't hell."

I stopped again. The next part was the most painful, no matter what else had happened. Master pulled me closer, rubbing my back. Perhaps he knew what would happen next. Only I had been blind to the signs. Had I truly been so naive? So trusting that I could overlook even the serpent of evil hiding in my home? Was it wrong of me, not to want to believe that my own family could be so cruel.

"It happened so quickly after I hung up the phone. It couldn't have been ten minutes later. There was a call to the room. My heart jumped to my throat. The ringing woke Master Marcel, and he got up to answer the phone himself. I heard Maudia's voice on the other line. I couldn't believe it! I thought, for an instant, that she had called to demand my release, and simply didn't realize the danger she had put me in. But she wasn't calling for me to be sent home, instead she was yelling at Marcel for losing control of me! She said something about a deal and threatened him. He was shaking with rage, red in the face, as she ranted, but went pale when she said she had already called the Collar board, and that they would be taking steps against him."

I realized that I hadn't been breathing, and stopped my story. I took several deep breaths, hoping to calm myself, but my chest still felt unexplainably tight. Master stroked my back, patiently, but I was anxious to finish. If I didn't tell the whole thing now, I wasn't sure I would be able to. "Master Marcel was never very creative with his punishments. He put me on starvation rations, gave me all the chores in the house, made me sleep on the kitchen floor, and had me beaten at least once a day for two weeks. It wouldn't have mattered, though, because my soul was already broken. He never gave me a mark, probably because he still wanted me to be worth something, but my beauty faded anyway. My eyes, which had always been one of my best features, were dulled with pain and constantly full of tears. I cried almost all the time, but for a pain I couldn't really feel. For a long time I wasn't even sure if it was my pain, or the pain of those around me that made me cry. Eventually I found that I didn't care. I couldn't smile, and I couldn't find pleasure in anything, even sex. I was dead."

I stopped again, because I realized that my voice had lost all emotion, and was almost the same as in those days. I shivered and decided to change the story's direction. "Master Marcel was fined for nearly losing a slave, but it wasn't an insane amount. He couldn't buy a few of the slaves he wanted, though, so he drove me extra hard because of it. He never killed me, though. I wondered about that for a long time. Slaves were usually killed for trying to escape, and wouldn't it be easier for my sister to just kill me and get it over with?" I wondered, really looking at Master for the first time since I had started.

"One would think so," he ventured, as though afraid to halt my story be speaking too much.

"I finally figured it out, months after the incident happened. As the oldest child in the household, Maudia was the one that would run things until I came of age, or in my absence if I didn't decree otherwise. If I turned up dead somehow, Maudia wouldn't be the head of the household. It would fall instead to one of my uncles, none of which were overly fond of Maudia. However, if I ran away or simply disappeared, Maudia would hold the title of head of the household until I returned. And what better to do to an upstart younger brother than turn him into a slave? I was such a fool!" I blurted, my voice bitter with old pain.

"You weren't a fool," Master said, brushing the hair from my eyes. "No family should behave that way. You trusted your sisters, and couldn't imagine them hurting you so much. If I had been in your place, I would have done the same thing."

"No, you wouldn't. You're much stronger than I am. I'm weak."

"You were strong enough to tell me this, when it obviously hurt you. You were strong enough to tell me about your past, when you didn't think I would believe you. You were strong enough to trust me, when you've been betrayed so badly. Crying doesn't mean you're weak, and pushing others away doesn't make you strong. You've overcome a lot in a very short amount of time, and I'm proud of you," he said, and I could feel the warmth of his emotions seeping into me. "Now, I want you to finish the story. I need to know what these pills are for," he said, ut the good feelings didn't disappear, so I dared to continue.

"The empathy I told you about. It... well, it hurts in a place like this. There are so many negative feelings, and it's hard to block them all out. It makes me depressed, and I cry a lot. In the hospital, I told the doctor about my condition and he tested me. When the results came back , he gave me this drug and I began to improve much more quickly. So much weight had been lifted from me and..."

"Are these the reason you've seemed so much happier since you came back?" Master interrupted.

"A... a little," I admitted. "Some of it is because I felt better, and because of how nice everyone's been, and because of all the good energy surrounding all of you. But, yes, some of it is because I don't have to deal with everyone else's pain as well."

"Then we'll get you as much as you need," he said, smiling fondly at me. "I'll want to have all this checked out by my doctor back on earth, but I'm not going to take those smiles off your face. I've enjoyed having your cheerful personality come out, I don't want to see it go away again.

"Thank you!" I gushed, tears springing to my eyes. Master rubbed my head, a half smile still on his face.

"Now you didn't really think I'd say no, did you? I'm a little upset you didn't tell me about it right away, but I can understand why you wouldn't now that I know your background. You do trust me fully now, though, don't you?"

"I do," I swore.

"Alright then, we're going to test that. Get your shoes, we're going out."

"Out where?" I asked as I jumped up top fetch my sandals.

"You'll just have to trust me about that," he said with a smirk. I hesitated for a second, but there was still the gentle, fondly teasing look in his eyes that knew nothing of malice. I smiled and slipped my sandals on as Master opened the door. After that, I followed him out, knowing I was safe wherever he led me.


	83. Trowa 82

If anyone wants to get onto Gaia to discuss Duo or the plot and where it's going from here, that would be much appreciated. I need some feedback on how everything is coming off to the readers. What I imagine and what comes out aren't always the same thing. So, give me a hand, please.

I was anxious to get back to Quatre. I doubted you could tell from my face, but I was worried about him. Whatever had prompted him to send me and the others away was obviously enough for him to want to speak to Master alone, and I was deathly afraid that he wouldn't be there when I got back. In my mind, I was pretty sure that Master wouldn't sell Quatre, no matter what the reason, but my heart couldn't help pounding every time we were apart. It was so easy to find trouble at Collar, especially for a slave, and I didn't want anything to happen to Quatre. He was so pure and innocent, so happy and radiant, that I didn't think I could stand to see his light put out. The fact that he tolerated my presence was a bonus as well.

Our mission was to supply Duo with a costume, in case Master decided to take him out. The chances of Master actually allowing Duo into public were pretty slim, though, so the trip was almost useless, since Duo would be gone in a day anyway. Adding to these feelings of frustration was the fact that Duo could not for the life of him decide on one outfit, and was constantly harassing Wufei.

"Shinigami, damn it, we're here for a costume for you, and I would not disgrace myself by wearing such a... a... a monstrous outfit!" Wufei huffed, his face going red with anger.

"But why not?" Duo asked, looking innocently at the red matador's outfit in his hands. The vibrant color of the garment was only surpassed by the billowing ruffles round the cuffs and collar. The pants were plain black, but of a fabric that would conform perfectly to the skin, revealing more than it hid. The outfit was completed by a widebrimmed hat with small red pompoms dangling from the edges.

"Duo," Heero intervened before Wufei could yell, "We've wasted enough time already. Find an outfit or you can go to the party naked."

"Sheesh," Duo mumbled, turning to put the costume away. "No need to get grumpy," he complained, but heeded Heero's words anyway. It seemed that, in many ways, Heero was almost as much our leader as the master was. Besides Wufei and possibly Duo, he was the strongest of Master's slaves. He was also the one who had been owned longest, and the one Master trusted most. Because of this, and an inner authority he seemed to contain, Heero often gave out orders to make the household run smoothly. Granted, they were never orders that the Master would disagree with, nor were they harder than doing the laundry or buying the groceries, but it still gave Heero a measure of power that few slaves enjoyed. He was the master's current favorite, a position which few held and even less managed to retain.

But I doubted that Master would ever lose his faith in Heero. Heero was far too strong and capable for that. He was solid and unmoving against any obstacle. Stronger than I could dream of being. I could understand why Quatre was so friendly toward him, and I wondered why the blonde was friendly to me. I was the newest slave, the one in the most vulnerable but threatening position. I could be quickly thwarted, or I could rise to displace either of them. Still, neither raised a hand against me. I could almost understand Quatre's lack of viciousness, for he was innocent and caring. But Heero was as hardened to the ways of Collar as I was. With so few slaves under the master, I was in a prime position to displace one of them. I was a threat. Why hadn't I been dealt with?

But this could only fall in with a list of questions that filled my head. Why was Master so kind? Why was Heero putting up with the shenanigans of Duo, a temporary slave at best? Why was Wufei being so docile, when he was notorious for being impudent to both masters and other slaves? Why was I so drawn to Quatre? And, what bothered me most of all, why hadn't master taken me since my purchase?

That action confused me most, out of all Master's oddities and eccentrics. He had obviously found me attractive before I was owned by him, so why the sudden change? Or perhaps I was only attractive when and because I was owned by someone else. For I had yet to see him take Heero, though I am sure from the way the other slave acted that he had done so on their trip to the spa. I was a little grateful that Master had not taken me, but worried as well. I was glad that I did not have to do those things in front of Quatre, but I was worried that I would be sold because I did not.

But I didn't dwell on it too much. I was well aware that going against a master was like trying to breathe in space. There was no way to do it, so you just had to hope your suit didn't fail. Likewise, there was no way for me to influence the master one way or another, so I merely had to hope for the best. Had I been prettier, or more seductive, perhaps I could have plied him with my body, but, being rather plain, I knew I would only embarrass myself. I did not want to add to my shame.

"You're going to try these three on. You will take five minutes or less to change in to each garment, at which point you will come out of the stall for an inspection. After the outfits have all been tried on, we will come to a consensus as to which you should buy. Now, change," Heero demanded, finally tiring of Duo's antics. I was only surprised that Heero had been patient this long, for it had been nearly an hour since we began shopping.

Heero handed Duo the outfits, which I couldn't really see beyond the fact that they were black, which Duo had said was his favorite color. Duo huffed, probably eager for more chaos, but obeyed Heero and entered the dressing room. Heero seemed to have a calming affect on Duo, as he was both strict and patient. Heero may have been choosing Duo's clothes for him, but he chose clothes that seemed to suit Duo's style fairly well, and in Duo's favorite color. In other households, slaves often attempted to make one another look bad by pressuring a slave into buying a hideous outfit. They would blatantly lie, saying that it looked lovely, only to turn their backs on the slave when the master scolded him for buying something so tasteless. It had happened several times in the Duke's household.

I shook my head and silently stepped away from my group as Duo began throwing off his clothes. A wayward shirt hit Wufei in the face, who then began to sputter angrily.

"Damnit! They have changing stalls for that!" Wufei growled as he pulled Duo's shirt off of his head.

"Yeah, but I don't see why," Duo said, pausing in taking off his pants. "I mean, everybody runs around here naked anyway, so why bother?"

"Because not everyone is an indecent savage!" Wufei growled.

"Duo," Heero said calmly as he stepped between the fighting pair and took Duo's shirt from Wufei. "Go change in the stall," he commanded, handing the shirt back to him.

"Alright," Duo huffed, the took his shirt and walked toward the changing rooms. Having moved a few feet away, the others didn't notice that I wasn't with them as they followed Duo. I needed a few minutes alone. I just wanted a few seconds of peace and quiet to collect my thoughts and settle my worried stomach as I moved off into the racks of clothes.

It seemed, though, that I wouldn't get it, as I heard a voice that sent shivers down my spine. Quietly, I tried to move back to the others, but it was too late. Even as I turned to walk away, a voice rang out from behind me.

"Well, if it isn't little Nanashi!" Weave's voice screeched from behind me. He seemed almost gleeful at the prospect of harassing me and, as I turned, I found the other two, Honey and Jaz, had almost identical expressions of joy.

"I'm called Emerald now," I said evenly.

"So he changed your name? How wonderful! Now if only he could change your mind and body too!" laughed Jaz.

"Let's see," put in Honey. "All he need to do is make you smarter, prettier, more talented..."

"Don't forget to give him a heart!" Weave put in.

"... A heart, and maybe some balls to!" Honey finished.

"But he can't do that!" Jaz said, laughing harder than the other two, "Because then he'd be us!" he howled. The other two began laughing uncontrollable as well, and took several minutes to calm themselves.

"But, seriously," Weave said once he had calmed somewhat. "If your master ever wants a real slave, just send him back to us. If nothing else, we'll talk to him while showing him a good time. Or has he even done that with you?" he taunted. "Not that I could see him being able to get it up for you or anything."

I wanted to say something, but I couldn't seem to find the words. I was afraid, suddenly, that they were right, as many of their comment had struck far too close to home. But Master had picked me, hadn't he? He had chosen me over the other three, so there had to be something about me that stood out, right? And I had been very careful not to make him regret that decision, especially after the piercings came out. I had done everything I had asked, could I be blamed if I hadn't been asked much?

I opened my mouth to say something, though I'm not certain what, when I was against interrupted.

"Emerald," Heero said, monotone and slightly annoyed, "What are you doing?"

"Uh... nothing," I said, lowering my head. If Heero heard all the things the other three said about me, if he found out how bad my reputation was, would he use it against me? Could he get Master to sell me? He was the first, the senior, and the favorite slave, and he obviously felt threatened by me, though I didn't know why. Did he have enough leverage to sway Master's opinion of me?

"Oh, so now we're nothing to you?" Jaz snapped. "That's what happens you sell a rotten slave. Can't trust 'em at all!"

"Slaves are not permitted to remain loyal to the slaves of another master once they've been sold," Heero replied, still casually monotone. The others were taken aback for a moment by his lack of response, but soon recovered.

"Yeah, well I doubt Nanashi could be loyal anyway. You need emotions to get friends."

"Emerald no longer goes by the name of Nanashi. Master has already had it changed and documented. As for emotions, they are most often a hindrance, though one that masters prefer. And Emerald does contain the capacity to feel, despite what he does or does not reveal."

"Uh..." Weave started, once again startled by Heero's lack of anger in the face of their insults. "Well, your master must have weird tastes to like Nanashi. I don't even know how he could tolerate someone as dumb as Nana around him all the time."

This time Heero really did roll his eyes before responding with, "He's obviously smarter than you for keeping his mouth shut. I doubt the Duke would react well to hearing that you've been insulting other masters. And, as far as I can tell, Master is very fond of Emerald. Now, if you'll excuse us, Emerald and I have more important things to do."

"Like what?" Honey snapped, offended by the insinuation that he wasn't important. "It's not like your master would even bother to pay for the lousy job you do!"

Heero snorted, obviously amused by Honey's attempts at insulting someone he knew nothing about, and turned his back. This only enraged Honey further, and he suddenly lunged himself at Heero. I moved to intercept him, but Heero was quicker than even I was, and had spun around and smacked Honey to the ground before I could move more than a step. Weave, next, came to his friend's aide and tried to slam Heero to the floor. This time I did manage to intercept, grabbing Weave's arm as he ran past me toward Heero and using his momentum to toss him to the floor.

Dealing with Weave, I was oblivious as Jaz came up behind me until I heard a grunt and turned to find Heero pulling his fist out of Jaz's stomach. Jaz, eyes wide with pain, slumped to the floor with a groan and a thin, heavy pole that had held clothes only a minute ago slipped from hi fingers. It was not difficult to guess that he had tried to hit me, and with my back turned he could have easily have done serious damage.

I glanced at Heero in amazement. It had been the perfect moment to be rid of me. So why had he defended me instead? Even in his banter with the three slaves he had defended me, and now he protected me in a fight? But I was his rival.

"We have to stick together," he said suddenly as he lifted the rack and set it back on its feet, then began to put the clothes back on it. "Like them, we're slaves under the same master, working to fulfil his purposes. They're unity is a weapon they can use against us and our master. If we let them separate us, we let them weaken us. It is crucial that we do not allow that to happen."

"But..." I protested as he finished. "I am your rival."

"You are..." Heero said, the paused, "but you are not. You and I will compete to fill the slots allotted for Collar, but... you and I do not compete for Master's affections. He... He does not allow it, otherwise I have no doubt we would be bitter enemies. In any other situation, I would have allowed him to hit you, but it would serve no purpose for me now," he said, and his brutal honesty allowed me to believe him. If he had said anything different, if he had tried to deny the temptation to do away with me, I would have been suspicious of him. But none of his words rang of falsehood, and made a great deal of sense to me, so much that I found myself nodding even through my uncertainty. Still, I couldn't help asking, "What about Quatre?"

That made Heero pause, and he stopped dead to contemplate the question. It had been obvious from the start that Heero was suspicious of my relationship with Quatre and jealous of the blonde boy's affection for me. I could understand both of Heero's emotions much more than I could understand Master's trust in me and Quatre's fondness for me, but I was still hesitant to lose either.

"Master trusts you, and that should be enough for me," Heero suddenly decided, "And I cannot tell Quatre who to like. He seems fond of you, and I think..." he trailed, turning to where Duo was causing a commotion by tossing skimpy, frilly underwear at Wufei, "...I think I'm beginning to understand just how quickly an emotion can overcome one who is unprepared."


	84. Heero 83

I realized, while walking through the third store in three hours, that Duo was the most obnoxious, irritating, annoying, spoiled brat I had met in my comparatively short life. He had looked at more than two hundred articles of clothing, picked up at least fifty, and tried on twelve. And, if that wasn't enough for one trip, he refused to stop harassing Wufei, who was steadily moving closer to decking the braided idiot. I was so busy standing between Duo and Wufei, in fact, that I didn't notice Trowa had gone.

Trowa and I had started off... rocky, at best. We were both very aware of what normal rules of conduct would have required, and we were suspicious of each other because of them. I was the alpha, he was the omega. I would try to belittle him, while he would attempt to knock me out of my seat. And, for a time, it seemed to me as though he was having more luck rocking my place than I was holding him in his. The addition of Wufei and then Duo allowed me to see things differently, as he was suddenly propelled upward from his place at the bottom, while I remained firmly seated beside Master. Meanwhile, neither Duo nor Wufei remained at the bottom, because neither were truly Master's slaves, and because Wufei had prestige from being the Owner's slave, and Duo was the Shinigami. In any other situation, Duo and Wufei would have been above the three of us, but instead they seemed to be beside. The pressure of the hierarchy was removed. It began to feel as though I would not need to be defensive around any newcomers, which was what Master had told me all along.

I think that splitting my time between Master, Quatre, and Trowa had made me analyze the relationship too much. With the addition of Duo and Wufei I did not have the time to worry so much about Trowa. Without the time to worry about it, the threat disappeared, because it had never really been there in the first place.

Which is much of the reason that, upon ditching Duo and Wufei and finding Trowa surrounded by his aggressive former-peers, I jumped to his defense.

They were idiots, much as I had expected them to be. And not even the fun-loving, reckless idiocy that Duo exhibited. They were merely lacking for common sense, or any sense for that matter. They were cowardly and power-hungry, which was a fairly common mix at Collar. But their stupidity set them aside from the rest of the cowards, who were at least smart enough to pick on the right people. They, instead, decided to pick on Trowa, who they assumed was still weak and submissive toward them. There was nothing they could possibly hope to gain from abusing him save perhaps a short heightening of their own egos. That heightening, however, would come at the cost of Trowa's confidence, so I decided it was my place to step in and protect Master's property.

They proved their lack of brains though their words several times during the argument, then again when they decided to initiate physical violence. The three slaves were obviously more interested in staying soft and pretty than getting in shape, for they had almost no muscle tone. Trowa and I easily dispatched them, and I wondered for a moment why he had not done it before. But, in his last household, the master had probably played favorites, and Trowa would have gotten in trouble even for defending himself. But I was as certain the master would defend us as I was that he would not harm Quatre.

Once the fight was over, I revealed many of my changed feelings to Trowa. He must have believed me, because he seemed to relax suddenly. As though he no longer felt that I was threatening him.

My answer to his last question took me more by surprise than the question itself. I had somewhat anticipated a question about the tension between us because of Quatre, but I hadn't thought far enough ahead to plan out my answers. So when my eyes caught on Duo, who was laughing uproariously and dancing around with a stack of clothes in either hand, I simply allowed my feelings to flow from my mouth, and was shocked at what came forth. I wasn't even sure I liked Duo, so how could I so quickly become attracted to him? But there was no denying the vibrant energy that came from the boy, or the way he could command all the attention of a room to himself. How he was open and happy even in the most repressive situations, like being enslaved. And I admired him for being brave enough to stand up to his masters, even if he was so stupid that he would stand up to our Master. And, too, there was something weak inside him, so well hidden that I only first glimpsed it in the bath, when he was certain that Master would cut his hair. It was something hidden deep and dark, but it seemed more real than the smiling face he wore now. Merely another piece of the boy who had so captured me already.

It was around that time that Wufei stormed over, dragging Duo by the arm, and demanded that we, "Control this lunatic!" I obliged by sweeping him into my arms and carrying him into the dressing room, too be certain that he actually changed.

"Hey! Get the hell outta here! I'm getting changed!" Duo snapped as I set him down inside and closed the door behind me.

"Firstly, you offered to change in the lobby, so it shouldn't be a problem for me to be here. Secondly, I've already seen you naked," I told him reasonably. Duo grunted unhappily, but began to take his clothes of anyway.

"You just wanna stare at my ass," he grumbled as he slipped on a pair black leather pants. I merely grunted something I hoped sounded vaguely negative. In all honesty, the constant nudity at Collar had made me somewhat immune to becoming aroused by naked bodies doing anything short of erotic. Not that Duo and his ass weren't gorgeous, simply that being around so many gorgeous naked bodies all the time had made it the norm instead of a turn-on.

"Well, what do you think?" Duo asked, showing off a black robber costume with small black wings that resembled something out of Zorro. Or what Zorro would have looked like if he were a demonic porn star.

"It's perfect! Buy it and let's go!" Wufei snapped from outside the door. Duo huffed in an offended manner.

"You didn't even see it!"

"I don't care! You could be wearing a paper bag! If I had my way, you'd be wearing a plastic bag! Over your head!" Wufei shouted. I expected Duo to snap something snide back, since they were arguing, but instead he merely laughed and turned back to me.

"So?" he asked.

"It's a good look for you. Accentuates your mysteriousness and remains less than feminine."

"You're not just saying that because you want to get me out of the store?"

"Duo, by your thinking I should be telling you that they're all ugly, so that I can see you butt again. If I say yes, I mean it."

"'S a good point, Hee-man."

"Besides, you obviously like it or you would have thrown it off again like all the rest," I pointed out.

"Yeah," he said, grinning sheepishly ,"I knew I was going to get this one for the last twenty minutes. I just wanted to torment Wufei."

"You what!" came a shout from outside our door. Wufei began to bang on it shortly before Trowa led him away to cool down. I sighed, but I couldn't help when a chuckle slipped out with it. It made Duo pause as he hung back up his shirt.

"You laughed," he said, only part statement, part question. As though he couldn't believe it.

"I am capable, you know," I replied, smirking.

"For a while there I wasn't sure," he said, removing the last of the costume. "But it's nice to know that I'm funny enough to make even a stone wall laugh. You're cuter when you smile," he said with a wink, then finished dressing and walked out of the stall.

I followed casually after, knowing that they couldn't go very far without me, because I had master's credit card. Duo's was our final, and most aggravating purchase of the day. Wufei had been the first to choose a costume, a green dragon costume that required us to glue many jeweled scales to his body. In our second shop I still had my angel costume, which I decided I would wear to the party. Trowa had gotten a demon costume with flowing black clothes, a cape, and long black wings. With Quatre having worn his angel costume only once, and with Duo's purchase of a demon costume, we were set for the party. Two demons, two angels, and a dragon.


	85. Zechs 84

Quatre was nervous as I led him away from the residential area of the colony and into the market area. I was almost certain that Quatre was thinking less of the stores and shops that existed in this area and more of the slave's blocks and warehouses.

I knew that a few small words from me could allay any of his fears, but I restrained myself. In the past, Quatre had been nervous and fearful around me, and I hoped that by telling me of his past he had quelled those fears. So, in truth, our outing was both to be a reward and a test. As much as I wanted Quatre to know that his past didn't matter to me, I also needed to know that he trusted me completely as a master, not simply when the thought struck him. Even when he couldn't understand my directions, he would need to be ready to follow them.

And, if I were to be totally honest, his past did matter quite a bit to me, simply not in the way he would have thought. The fact that he had once been a spoiled rich boy or that he had attempted to escape made no difference to me. I was actually proud that he had managed to overcome both his upbringing and his fears to survive, even if his escape attempt had backfired. What really mattered to me was that it was not only nameless streetchildren that were being enslaved. The slavery had spread so that even the wealthiest classes were at risk of being abducted. And, while I felt the same amount of revulsion for Quatre's bondage as I did for even Duo's, I was sure that the public outcry would be far stronger for someone as well-known and respected as the heir to the Winner family than for a foul-mouthed orphan. I didn't like the hypocrisy of the public, but I was realistic enough to look past what should happen to what probably would. If the "masters" were to fight their arrests I would need to mount evidence for a trail, and gain the support of the public. It would be difficult, for most of the masters were prominent leaders and government officials. Quatre, with his innocent blue eyes and soulful smile, could lead the campaign against his former masters. Irony and justice in the same sitting.

But it might never come down to that. I hoped that public outcry would be strong enough to put the masters away without any help or trial. And there was always the power Lady Une held. Hopefully my evidence combined with the backing of Preventers would keep the boys from a long and arduous trial, along with any invasive interviews a trial might require.

Quatre brought me out of my musings by taking my hand in his. I was a bit startled, but noticed that he was shaking slightly as he held my long fingers in his own slender ones. My brooding must have frightened him, for he already suspected that I was angry with him. Still, I could not allow myself to say a word to the contrary, for then I would never be able to accurately gage how much he trusted me. So I walked on in silence, wishing I could do more to comfort the nervous boy beside me.

There were many other masters out with their slaves, which only served to alarm Quatre more, for he had not been around anyone but myself and my slaves for several days, and only the hospital staff before that. He went as far as to hide behind me as we walked when a particularly brutish-looking master in leather and spikes came walking past. Soon after he began to chew on the ends of his finger to alleviate his anxiety, and I had to remind myself that he didn't fail the test by being frightened as I pulled his hand away from his mouth. Actually, the more frightened he was, the more faith he showed, because he had yet to try to run or even question me. He simply followed me, obviously terrified but trusting me to lead him safely to our destination.

The test ended far later than I would have liked, for I would have much preferred never to begin it at all. Still, the small, timid smile on Quatre's face as we arrived at the icecream parlor made it worthwhile. The hesitation in his step was almost gone as I opened the door and led him inside. All in all, it was less than I had hoped for, but far more than I had expected.

The shop was antique style, right down to the glass box that enclosed the icecream. There was a bronze rim around the glass case that matched the bronze railings and inlays that decorated the store. There were a few white french table sitting toward the back of the shop, one of which was occupied by three haggard looking slaves. I ordered a chocolate icecream for myself and, after careful deliberation, Quatre decided on a strawberry cone. I could only chuckle at Quatre's astonished look when he saw the size of the cone, but for the price I was paying I probably should have gotten the whole damn cow. Still, everything at Collar was like that, overcharged because they were well aware that the masters would pay it. Whoever the Owner was, he was getting richer by the second, and with wealth came power. The sooner I stopped him, the better.

But it was hard to think about that kind of thing with Quatre happily licking his icecream cone and grinning. A little less enthusiastically, I nibbled at mine. I would probably throw half of it away, since a "doggy-bag" was unheard of in the upper reaches of society. Sometimes my humble upbringing made it hard for me to understand the aristocracy, but it better allowed me to understand common people. Working for a place like Preventers, it was a must for any agent to be able to work with any level of society. Which was one of the reasons I had moved up the ranks so quickly.

Another was my keen hearing and eyesight, which alerted me to the presence of a rather unwanted set of associates to my left. I had hoped never to see Honey, Jaz, and Weave again, and though I hadn't actually expected it to happen, I had hoped to put off our meeting a little longer. Luckily, however, they seemed to be in no shape to fawn over me. In truth, they seemed to have taken a rather bad beating, and while I couldn't condone any master beating his or her slaves, this was one that I could at least understand.

But it didn't look like a normal beating, and my curiosity was strangely aroused. Not that any beating should be normal, simply that masters usually, from what I had seen, chose to hit their slaves across the face, on the back, or on the butt, depending on the severity of the slave's act and their mood. These slaves, on the other hand, had been struck in a range of places. Honey was holding his face, where a deep bruise was forming, Jaz was holding his stomach, and Weave was clutching his shoulder, as though it had been displaced. To be crude, it looked more like a downtown mugging than a punishment. I leaned closer to hear what they were saying.

"...should tell the Duke what happened! He'll..."

"Laugh at us," Jaz finished, frowning angrily. "We'll be lucky if we don't get a beating for getting marks like these."

"I'll never find make-up tp cover this!" Honey wailed, and I hid a wince.

"Of shut up," Weave snapped. "You'll find something in that box of goo of yours. I'm the one in trouble! How will I ever do chores with this arm!"

"You're both idiots!" Jaz snapped, finally losing control. "We're all in huge amounts of trouble if that little idiot tells his master what we did! You think the Duke's gonna protect us from somebody like Master Zechs? Now the only thing we've got goin' for us is that nobody saw that, alright? It's their word against ours. If it was just Nana we'd be fine, because the Duke knows he's a lying little hole, but I don't know about that Angel guy. If his master trusts him enough we could be screwed, and not in a good way. We've got to get our stories straight and stick to them if we're gonna make it out of this, alright? So, we were in the store and they started pushing us around, okay? We didn't do anything, and since there's not a mark on them we've got the proof in our favor. So just relax and go with anything I say, you got it?" Jaz asked. The other two nodded obediently, obviously shaken. Jaz was just as much of an asshole as I had originally expected, but he was quite a bit smart than I had thought.

"Master?" Quatre's voice came hesitantly across the table. I shook myself out of my thoughts and turned back to him.

"Yes?"

"Is... Is something wrong?"

"No, of course not. Have you finished your icecream?"

"Uh-... yes. I don't think I can eat anymore."

"That's alright. I didn't think you would eat it all. Throw it away and lets go," I told him, and he scurried to obey. I took my icecream as I walked out, for I hadn't been paying it all the much attention as I listened to the boys talk.

"What were they saying?" Quatre asked as we got into the street.

"Who?"

"Those slaves. I saw you listening to them, but I couldn't make out what they were saying. You seemed pretty captured by it, though."

"Hm. Well, it seems that Heero and Trowa have been causing a bit of a raucaus while we were away."

"Are they alright?"

"Oh, I'm sure they are. Heero can take care of himself, and he wouldn't let any harm come to Trowa."

"They do seem to be getting along better, don't they? Really... ever since Duo came around," he said, and I had to stop for a moment to think about it. I had noticed that Heero had been less edgy around Trowa the last few days, but I hadn't directly correlated it with the arrival of Duo. As a matter of fact, Heero had been more relaxed all around, which I couldn't understand, because Duo was a monster. I couldn't understand how Heero could find the patience to deal with him, either, but Heero often astounded me.

"I suppose," I said, and left it at that because we were nearing the apartment. In another moment I could raised voices inside the apartment. As I punched in the code to open the door, Duo yelled, "I'm telling you, he's gone! Now pay up!"

Beginning to worry, I threw open the door and took in the scene in front of me. Duo had been storming toward Heero, intent on some harm I'm sure, but stopped mid-step upon my entrance. Heero was as stoic as usually, only a small bit of annoyance showing on his face. Wufei was toward the back of the room, looking hesitant and confused as to what the situation called for him to do. And Trowa was in the forefront, looking pale and shaken.

Trowa was the first to shake himself out of the startled daze and rushed to Quatre. It was obvious, then, that Duo had once again instigated the notion in my slaves that I was attempting to do them harm. It seemed that Heero had been impervious to his ramblings, and I wasn't surprised that Trowa had become frightened at the prospect of something happening to Quatre. Not only had they become very close in the last few days, Trowa also seemed to take some kind of responsibility for Quatre's well-being. He would obviously blame himself if anything happened to the fragile blonde.

"Shit," Duo cursed, smiling in relief even as he said it. "I guess I did lose," he said to Heero with a sheepish smile.

"Lose?" I couldn't help but ask. "Lose what?"

"Ah.. I..." Duo stuttered, and I knew instantly that this would be something I wasn't going to appreciate.

"We made a bet," Heero told me, coming to stand protectively in front of Duo. I could only hope that the protectiveness spanned from his responsibility for the boy, not for some strange affection. After all, Duo would only be around another day.

"A bet about what?"

"We bet on whether or not you would punish Quatre for telling you about his medicine. I bet negative, he bet positive."

"So... you knew... and you didn't tell me?"

"He only found out this morning!" Quatre jumped in, and for a second I wondered if he were only trying to spare Heero my anger. "He made me promise to tell you! Please, master, it was my fault! I should have told you in the first place!"

I took a moment to think the entire scenario over. If it was as Quatre said, Heero had only found out this morning and had made him promise to tell me, then there really wasn't any reason for me to be mad. It also wasn't a terrible secret, like if Quatre had been doing some other form of drugs. On the other hand, Heero and Quatre were very close, so I couldn't completely rule out the possibility of Quatre lying to protect Heero. Also, despite the fact that I had found out about it, Heero should have told me immediately. And I wasn't fond of the idea of my slaves betting on my reaction. So, based on that, I had to find that Heero's reaction was wrong.

Now, the tricky part. I had to punish Heero, because all my slaves were watching and if I didn't punish him they might think it was alright to imitate the behavior. I especially couldn't seem weak in front of Duo and Wufei, who weren't even my slaves. So the punishment would have to be severe enough to show that I meant business. On the other hand, if the punishment was too severe, I risked losing the trust I had worked so hard to gain from Quatre, Trowa, and even Heero. I could easily scare them back into slave mode, re-erecting the barriers between us that I had worked so hard to tear down. So what to do?

There was no perfect solution. And, with five sets of eyes watching me and the seconds ticking down, I figured I had to do something. I decided that the best course of action would be to take Heero away from the rest of the slaves, thus alleviating most of the problem. With that in mind, I took Heero by the arm and began to lead him toward the slaves quarters when I suddenly heard a growl from behind me. That was all the warning I received before I was suddenly knocked to the ground and my head slammed against the floor.


	86. Heero 85

I had known Master would be angry if he found out about the secret and the bet. Any master would, and ours was more protective than most, which would probably add to his anger instead of detracting from it. Making the bet had been a calculated risk on my part. I hadn't anticipated that Master would take Quatre out so soon, or that Duo would have so quickly jumped to the conclusion he was gone. I also hadn't anticipated the pressure Master was put under to react to my miss-step by the presence of Duo and Wufei. I was, however, ready and willing to accept any punishment he deemed necessary for my actions. When he had led me into the slave's quarters, I had been anxious, but not afraid.

However the most unanticipated action of the night was when Duo, enraged by my punishment, attacked Master, landing a solid drop-kick that sent Master sprawling to the floor. Trowa and I reacted in the same instant, lunging at Duo and knocking him to the floor, where Trowa pinned his arms while I pinned his legs.

"Let me go! Damnit, Heero, you have to get out of here while you can! In a minute he's going to get up and flay you like a damn codfish! Go!"

"I..." said Master as he dizzily got back to his feet, holding his forehead, "had no intention of flaying anyone, and I'm still not going to hurt Heero. You, on the other hand, I'm going to gut like a fish!" Master growled, and I left Trowa to hold Duo while I attempted to intercept Master. I knew better than to enrage him further by trying to physically stop him, so I could only settle for latching onto his arm.

"Master, please, let's go tend to your wound," I asked him quietly and he hesitated. He was still frowning, but a little of the rage had seeped out of him, and after a moment he nodded to me. I was relieved, because it was perfectly justifiable and within his power for Master to do just as he promised to Duo. But, just as I didn't believe he would seriously injure me with my punishment, I didn't think he would actually kill Duo, either. Of course, that wasn't to day eh couldn't seriously injure him, which was something I wanted to avoid. After all, Duo was my responsibility.

"I can't believe that little punk!" Master hissed as he stormed into the bedroom as I closed the door, giving us some privacy.

"I'm sorry, Master, he is my responsibility. The fault is mine."

"Don't be ridiculous. You can't be held accountable for his every action. Besides, you're already in trouble. Speaking of which, that little stunt Shini pulled is not enough to get you out of your punishment."

"I admit that my actions were wrong and I will willingly accept any punishment you deem necessary to keep me from repeating my mistake," I told him as I took and icepack out of the cabinet and cracked it. He stared at me as I laid it over the bump on his forehead.

"If only Shinigami were a little more like you," he said wistfully, an amused half-smile on his face.

"But then he would not be Shinigami."

"He wouldn't be an idiotic punk, either."

"He was only trying to save me," I found myself defending. "Duo is not used to masters who do not enjoy punishing their slaves. He thought that you were going to seriously injure me."

Master looked contemplative for a moment, then nodded. "I hadn't thought of that, but I suppose you're right. Still, he had no right to push me like that."

"I agree completely. If he is ever to make a good slave, he needs more discipline."

"Well, I won't be bothered with it. He's only here for another few hours, anyway, then we can get back to our normal lives," Master said offhandedly as he turned to the mirror to inspect his face. I couldn't understand the strange pang I felt when Master said that. I felt somewhat bad that Duo had just risk so much in what he believed was saving my life, and now he was going to die and there was nothing I could do. But there was always the possibility that Duo would get picked up, because someone always wanted to buy Shinigami, so I really shouldn't have been feeling so bad about it.

"So, let's get your punishment over with," he said, putting aside the icepack. I refrained from reminding him that the longer he held it on the more effective it would be. The two seconds he had given it were nearly useless.

"Yes, Master," I said as he went to the closet and pulled something out of the top. I recognized it as the paddle he had first used on me, and realized he must have brought it from home. Realizing his intentions, I pulled down my shorts and set them aside. When he sat on the bed, I placed my self unresistantly across his lap.

Master was quick, thorough, and seemed to take as little joy in my punishment as I did. His cracks were hard, but not damaging. The punishment was 20 hits, which was more than most masters administered, but less than was required to harm me. I was not, after all, a normal slave. I had been trained to live with discomfort and pain, so my pain tolerance was high than most slave's. In my first punishment, Master had to administer well over two hundred hits harder than these to influence me. Based on that I decided the punishment was light, but enough for me to realize my mistake. A harsh warning, by my standards.

It was over quickly, and master allowed me to get up. My butt was red and aching, but it wasn't as bad as the first time, and not nearly as bad as some of the other punishments I had been given. Still, when Master rubbed his knuckles over my backside I couldn't help but hiss in pain.

"Heh. A little sore, I see. Why don't you go hop in the bathtub, see if a cool bath doesn't take the sting away. I'll see if I don't have some lotion to keep it from being sore for tonight," he said, even as he followed me into the bathroom, where he rolled up his sleeves and set the bath water to a cool but not cold temperature. He didn't leave as I watched the bathtub fill, but sat on the rim instead. "Despite this... transgression, you've been a model slave the past few weeks. I can only hope that this is a one time mishap, and that it won't happen again."

"I will not betray your trust again, Master," I said, and meant it. The look on his face, the look of angry accusation, was too much for me.

"Good. Then there's only one question left; what exactly did you bet?" he asked.

I couldn't seem to bring the words out of my mouth, because I new he'd be angry again. To bet with something I didn't rightfully own... to give away Master's property... would he sell me for that? I had betrayed his trust by keeping secrets from him, but this... was this a betrayal of loyalty? I didn't want to see that disappointed look in his eyes again, but to lie and be found out would only hurt my cause more. It was a lie by omission that got me here in the first place. I stared into the quickly filling water, wondering what to do.

"Heero?" he asked, and I could hesitate no longer.

"I bet the jewelry you bought me. Please forgive me, I..."

"That's good."

"W-what?"

"I was worried that you bet something important, like your body," he said. I tried to find the lie in his face, but there was no hint of falsity in him. So he was... serious? "Don't look so surprised. You didn't think I'd be that upset by losing a little bit of jewelry, did you? After all, I can always buy you more, and I did give it to you. If you want to bet it, that's your business."

"But... I... I mean, a slave can't own anything. I bet your property."

"Hm. But I own you as well, correct? So if you bet yourself, that would be betting property that is much more valuable to me than those petty trinkets I bought you. You're still not allowed to do it again, though. Betting is a horrible habit to get into. It makes far to many fights and losses," he told me. I agreed, nodding my head as I turned off the water. I had seen many slaves get into fights over lost or won bets.

"Yes, Master. But I should tell you, I didn't lose. I bet that Quatre would be unharmed, and he is."

"Oh, so what did you win?"

"Shinigami promised to behave himself at the party tonight," I said, gently easing my sore bottom into the cool water of the tub. Master tipped his head back and laughed.

"Well, I suppose that's punishment enough for him, then. He promised to be on his best behavior, huh? We'd better take full advantage of this, though I'm not sure his best behavior is up to the standards of sewer rat society. Ah, well, I suppose it'll seem a feat to simply have Shinigami there without drugs. He... What the hell?" Master wondered as there was suddenly a ruckus in the other room. "Finish your bath," he instructed as we heard Trowa and Duo exchange harsh words outside the door, "I'll handle this. Be quick, we don't want to be late for the party," he said, then stormed out the door to deal with Duo. I could only hope Duo submitted quietly, for Master was still angry about the kick he had received earlier.

My hopes seemed in vain, though, as angry words were exchanged outside the door. A moment later, there was a smacking sound and a thud as someone hit the floor. I could only hope it was Duo, because if it wasn't and if Duo had hit Trowa or Master again, there was nothing I could do to keep him from being returned. Duo was wearing on Master's patience without the violence.

I finished my bath quickly and, although I had only been in the water a few minutes, my backside felt good enough for me to put my shorts on and hastily leave the bedroom.

The den was surprisingly quiet, for I had thought Duo would still be fighting with Master. But, instead, the braided boy was sitting sullenly in the plush chair, another dark bruise forming on his face. I let out a sigh of relief that he had allowed himself to be quelled so easily.

"Heero!" he said, jumping up and running to me. Quatre, Trowa, and Wufei had also been sitting in the living room, and Master had been in the kitchen preparing tea. Now all four sets of eyes turned to me, though Master's went back to his tea a moment later. Duo ran up to my side and grabbed my arm, looking me over thoroughly. Finding nothing externally wrong with me, he growled, "What did he do?"

"Nothing, Duo, I'm fine," I snapped, strangely embarrassed about telling the other slaves that I had been paddled by Master.

"Damnit!" Duo hissed, and seemed strangely uptight for me being the one who was punished, "Tell me what he did!" he growled again, and I could tell wasn't going to leave me alone. I looked over to Master, who nodded his assent, then back to Duo. I leaned over to Duo's ear and whispered what had happened to him. The other seemed dying with suspense as Duo's eyes went wide.

"He spanked you!" he blurted, the angry energy draining out of him as he laughed. "Hell, that's not a punishment, that's a reward!" he said, and I hoped the others didn't agree. I didn't want them to think of Master as a weakling, Wufei especially.

"Not all of us are so crude," Wufei remarked snidely. "I'm sure the embarrassment alone is worth twice the punishment," he said, relieving me of my worries.

"Embarrassment-shmarassment! How the hell can you be embarrassed about a spankin' when you're walkin' around nekkid all the time?"

"Enough," Master silenced before the two could get into a real argument. "You all need to get ready for the party. Duo, I've been told that you will be obedient tonight as part of a lost bet, so you'll be coming as well. Quatre, this is the last party, and you've been recovering very well, so you may come as well if you like. Wufei, Trowa, suit up. We have to leave in half an hour."

Everyone hurried to get their costumes, because half an hour was a very short amount of time for the complicated costumes and makeup worn at Collar. Trowa and Quatre took their costumes and went to the master bedroom to put them on. Wufei took his into the master bathroom, which left Duo and I alone in the slave's quarters. As we dressed, Duo seemed nervous, and kept glancing at me. I knew that if I allowed him enough time, he would tell me what was wrong on his own, and he didn't disappoint me.

"Heero, I wanted to tell you... I mean, I'm sorry I got so nosey about... about your... punishment. It's just... when I heard the water running... I thought..." he said, then hesitated, stumbling for words. He seemed to be on the verge of giving up, so I prompted him a bit.

"Thought what, Duo?"

"I thought... you know..."

"Know what?" I asked again, losing patience.

"I thought he was gonna hold you down, under the water, as a punishment. You know, an almost drowning."

"Duo, that's insane. Master's not like that. Why would you even think... Did... Did someone do that to you?" I asked, but he wouldn't answer. Still, the fact that he couldn't seem to look me in the eye said enough. Shinigami was said to be one of the worst slaves, but also one of the most popular. He was a challenge, so Master's went great lengths to try to break him. I was horrified that something like that had been done to Duo, but not surprised. He was, despite everything else, Shinigami. "Duo, Master would never do that," I told him, pulling his chin so that he would face me. Another thought struck me. "Is that why you fought the bath so hard?" I wondered, remembering the fight to get him into the bathtub on his first day here.

"Yeah," he admitted with a sigh, "I guess... I guess I'm a little bit phobic now. Pretty stupid, huh? Being afraid of a damn bathtub."

"Humans learn to fear what injures them. It can't be helped. I'm sure, however, that Master would have been much more gentle and understanding if you had told us what was wrong."

"Yeah, tell you what's wrong so you can use it against me later," he said bitterly, pulling away from me. "I don't even know why I'm telling you all this damn stuff. I am an idiot. I mean, hell, I barely know you!"

"But you do trust me," I said evenly, knowing it was true. "You wouldn't have admitted this if you didn't."

"Yeah... well... you're one of a kind, 'Ro. 'S probably not a conniving bone in your body, but not everybody's as nice as you are."

"Master is."

"I sincerely doubt that, or he wouldn't be a master," he replied, the bitterness returning to his tone. I took his face in my hands and forced him to look at me again.

"He is kind, and being a master is hard for him. Just give him a chance tonight, at the party. You did promise you'd behave."

"Fine," he said, sighing and looking like he'd rather be sucked into a vacuum than listen to master. "You know, you're a pretty good negotiator," he said, the sly smile returning to his face. He zipped up the last of his costume, and we were ready to go.


	87. Trowa 86

It was something of a scramble to get into costume. I was not used to the elaborate outfits Master Zechs bought for us, so even my relatively simple demon costume caused me some problems. The skintight material kept bunching up, and the wings constantly slipped down until Quatre managed to find a strap that I had missed and fasten it. I also helped Quatre, because he had been drugged when first donning the costume and couldn't figure out where some of the pieces of gauzy material went or how they were supposed to lie. Still, we had about fifteen minutes of extra time once our costumes were on to put on makeup.

"Wufei, are you alright?" Quatre asked the closed door.

"I'm fine," he responded quickly, his voice somewhat strained. Quatre rolled his eyes.

"Then could you open the door?" I wondered. "We need the mirror."

"Uh... For what?"

"To put on our makeup."

"Can't you... uh... use the slave's bathroom?"

"Nope!" Duo said cheerily, entering the room with Heero in tow. "We just came from there. Apparently all the makeup is in here."

"It has better lighting and a bigger mirror," Heero grumbled.

"Wufei, could you please open the door? Are you sure you're alright?"

"No! Yes! I mean... Just give me a minute!"

"You've had a minute," I pointed out, "and we only have a few more left if we want to make it to the party on time."

"K'so! How much longer do we have?"

"About twelve minutes."

"Shit!" he cursed, and there was the sound of something being knocked over.

"Wufei, open this door right now!" Quatre demanded.

"Here, I got it," Duo said, pushing his way past us to the door. He extracted a pin from his hair and proceeded to pick the simple lock on the door. It took him almost no time, the lock clicked open almost the second he inserted the pin into the doorknob. "And there's how we deal on L2," he commented proudly, a wide grin on his face. Heero looked grim and I thought for a moment that he would protest, but he merely opened the door and proceeded inside.

In the bathroom, Wufei was only half dressed and scurrying to pick up a jar of spilled body-jewels. He wore only a small piece of green fabric covering his modesty and green leather-like tights with attached claws that looked like lizard feet. There was a bottle of glue on the counter, along with gloves that matched the socks and an empty bottle of jewels.

Wufei looked up at us in shock, his face pale and panic-stricken. There was no way he could get his costume together in time on his own.

We moved as a group, suddenly, as though we had each been taken over by the same impulse. Quatre and Heero both dropped to the floor and began collecting the scattered beads. Duo pushed a startled and confused Wufei to sit on the toilet, then pulled a small chair over for himself while I hopped up on the counter. As soon as the other two had collected a handful of beads, we each began sticking them to Wufei's chest in a lessening scale-like pattern. The idea was that when we finished it would look like scale was melting into flesh as the eye drifted upwards. Wufei merely sat there in a stupor as the team worked in tandem to assemble his costume. When we were finished, a light dusting of a green sparkling dust gave Wufei's body an otherworldly tint.

We stepped back, as much to see our own work as to let Wufei see himself in the mirror. He was radiant, and he barely seemed to recognize himself. After a moment of staring, he turned to us and bowed deeply; a sign of gratitude.

It felt good to help out a fellow slave without being told or expecting anything in return. In other houses, I and the others would have let the slave flounder until the master saw. The master would always order the other slaves to help him, but he would lose some of his value in the master's eyes. If one was late too many times, the master would stop taking him, and he would eventually be sold.

There wasn't that kind of pressure, that kind of competition here. I was new, but I wouldn't doubt that if Master saw Wufei flounder, he would have helped him himself instead of calling us. Still, it felt good to do Wufei a favor, and the gratitude in his eyes told me that he wouldn't soon forget it.

"You look great, FeiFei. Now we gotta hustle!" Duo snapped, and Wufei found himself pushed out of the way while the rest of us crowded around the mirror.

Duo's makeup was simplest, since he was wearing a mask. He merely put some dark powder and sparkles on his face to make him look more mysterious. I put the same dark powder on my face, but also included gray eyeshadow and lipstick, to make my face look like it was constantly in the shadow. Heero and Quatre both dowsed themselves generously in white powder and sparkles, along with a sliver lipgloss and white eyeshadow.

"Boys, are you ready?" Master asked just as Duo and I finished putting the last of the sparkles into Heero and Quatre's hair. "Ah, you all look magnificent. Wufei, those jewels are stunning," he praised. Wufei blushed at the complement.

"I had help with them," he admitted. Yet another thing a slave under a different master would not do without prompting; give credit to someone else.

"Well, you're all lovely. Now, let's get going. This is the last party, so we don't want to be late!"

The last party was always held by the Owner and, though he never attended, it was rumored that he always watched. The party was more of an old-fashioned ball than anything, and it was the only one where every slave was expected to be at least scantily dressed. The masters all wore ancient outfits, male masters with military or royalty suits and female master with large hoops skirts. Our Master looked like the king of an ancient city, dressed in a long royal gold coat inlaid with gold embroidery. The tight white pants showed off his strong thighs and the high boots accentuated his tall stature.

The slaves were either dressed to mimic the masters or in some kind of costume. Many slaves were dressed in animal costumes, cats and birds seemed most popular this year. The other slaves, who chose to mimic the masters, were often in the tattered remains of what would have been a beautiful outfit. One slave was wearing a suit of armor, only the only pieces he had were the gloves, the pants, and the shoes. His entire torso was bare. Another fellow had been dressed in a hoop skirt, but the fabric was removed from the outside of the skirt, so that his undergarments were clearly visible.

Master took us directly to a table when we entered. The tables, unlike the rest of the party, were simple at first glance. They were small, meant to seat a maximum of four. The only alteration to this was the there was a large pillow chained to either leg. The chair, of course, was for the master, and the pillow was for the slaves.

Master sat in the chair, Quatre and I sat on the left pillow, and Duo and Heero slid onto the right pillow. This left Wufei standing awkwardly at the side, wondering what to do. Master seemed uncertain as well, but as another master approached he quickly made up his mind and pulled Wufei into his lap. Wufei squawked, surprised by the sudden movement, and more or less fell into Master's lap. He had to hold onto Master's neck to keep himself from slipping onto the floor, and Master put his arms around him to keep him steady.

It must have looked like a tender moment to Madam Long, who sat down across from Master with a laugh.

"I see someone finally managed to tame Dragon!" she gasped. Wufei reddened, but didn't respond.

"Patience can tame even the wildest beast. Or the most stubborn," he added, looking Wufei in the eye with a smile. Wufei blushed and rolled his eyes. I could only assume that he realized he had been stubborn, because I'm sure he would have offended otherwise.

"You must tell me how you managed to subdue him! Did you best him?"

"At swordplay," Master admitted, though he turned his face away from her in a somewhat pained manner. I wondered why, but didn't dare to ask. Beside me, Quatre looked concerned as well, but knew better than to say anything.

"My, you must be the best around! Or perhaps Dragon simply hasn't been practicing."

"No, Dragon is an exemplary swordsman. I must admit, my methods were... less than chivalrous."

"Did you cheat?" she asked, her brows furrowing in curiosity. "Because he never accepted cheating..."

"Master did not cheat," Wufei said hesitantly, looking to Master for approval. Master nodded, and he continued. "He simply found my weakness and exploited it. Any good swordsman would do the same."

"And what is your weakness?" the Mistress asked, looking very interested in the conversation. Warning bells went off in my head, but speaking would be considered rude, so I couldn't warn Master.

Apparently, though, Master sensed Madam Long's devious intentions, for he smiled and said, "Now that would be giving up the game, wouldn't it, madam?" He winked. "You'll just have to find out for yourself."

Madam Long pouted, but there was really nothing she could do. Instead, she turned her attentions to the slaves behind master, myself included.

"No!" she gasped suddenly. "It can't be!" she squealed. "Don't tell me you've purchased Shinigami as well!"

"No," Master quickly corrected. "Fortunately, I have not. I only took him on for a few days. Luckily enough, too, for he's far too much of a handful for me."

"But he seems so well behaved tonight," Madam purred, leaning closer to Duo, who leaned into Heero, who pulled Duo away from Madam Long.

"I managed to persuade him to behave himself at the ball. Trust me, he isn't always so docile."

"Oh, of course not," Madam Long said, sitting back in her chair and turning her attention back to Master. "All slaves are better behaved in public. That's only natural. But, of course, if he's as much of a handful in private as you say, it's probably better to get rid of him. He is Shinigami, after all. I've heard he's killed a few masters," she said, then laughed. "Of course, I don't believe it! It's about as much crap as him having ever been on Black."

"So you don't think he's done drugs?"

"Well of course he's done drugs! He just hasn't done Black. You'd know if he had, because the tips of his fingers," she said, reaching out and grabbing his hand, "would have a black spot," she announced, revealing Duo's fingers to be spot-free. Duo was glaring and struggled to get out of her grasp. She let him go, paying him no mind as Heero gathered Duo back into his arms. "That's one of the reasons it's called black. It's the most powerful Collar drugs, so powerful that it's rare for a slave to survive it. And it's the only one of the Collar drugs that's addictive."

"Really?" Master wondered.

"Yes, didn't you know? The Collar drugs are made so that they can be given to slaves once in a while, without needing to constantly up the doses. Slaves don't become physically addicted, though many do become mentally addicted to the properties of the drugs. That's why someone so often drugged, like Shinigami, wouldn't be a burnout by now."

"Huh. I hadn't thought about it," Master admitted.

Meanwhile, Duo was getting antsy, sitting quietly as the two masters talked about him. He kept squirming, even though Heero tried to hold him still, and eventually pulled out of Heero's grasp to tug on Master's sleeve.

"Yes, Shini?" Master asked. Instead of speaking, which was frowned upon for slaves, Duo merely pointed to the dance floor, where several pairs of slaves were dancing, along with some slave and master pairs. Master frowned as he looked over the crowd, then back to Duo. "You can go, but make sure you behave. I don't want you knocking anyone over."

Duo nodded cheerily, then grabbed Heero, hauled the other boy to his feet, and trotted off toward the dance floor. I looked at Quatre somewhat wistfully. I loved to dance, though I was not particularly good at it, and would have loved to dance with Quatre. But would he want to dance with someone so plain? So homely?

"You two can go as well," Master offered, perhaps sensing my yearning. I turned to Quatre, wondering if he wanted to go or not, but he had pulled me to my feet before I could even turn my head. He dragged me toward the dance floor in his excitement, and I had to pull him to a stop at the edges. He was radiant, joyful and excited. His eyes, such a perfect blue found nowhere else in nature. I looked deep into his blue orbs as I pulled him against me, his small form tucking snugly against mine. He smiled at me, and the other dancers faded away as we rocked back and forth in the tide of the music.


	88. Heero 87

I almost, just for a split second, wished Duo hadn't asked me to dance. I didn't feel right, leaving Master unguarded in a room full of other masters. If he made a wrong step, said a wrong word, there could be repercussions to all of us. With no one there to guide him, no one to take the fall, he was vulnerable.

But even as I thought this, Wufei's head turned slightly and met my eyes. An understanding passed between us, warrior to soldier. He was honorable, and I think that he was beginning to see that, at the very least, Master was far more honorable than the other masters here. Wufei was trustworthy, and his eyes told me that he would guard Master in my stead. With a capable slave such as Wufei watching Master, I felt I could relax just a touch.

Duo was a surprisingly good dancer. He caught the rhythm quickly and moved into the dance, spinning like a professional. I had expected him to attempt something indecent, perhaps a trick he had shown off in the Collar competition, but he was a picture of purity, never even slipping outside the required step for the dance. His caresses to my body as we met, circled, and parted were light, teasing, and perfectly acceptable at even the most prudent gatherings. Still, I could see from the smile on his face that he was enjoying himself. His infectious grin spread to my eyes, though it still could not melt the stone that kept my lips sealed in a stiff, straight line.

To our right, Trowa and Quatre were dancing at the same languid pace the classical music set, but were slightly closer than Duo and I. When the dance required for them to embrace, Quatre laid his head on Trowa's chest, and Trowa pressed his cheek into Quatre's silky locks. I felt a sharp twinge of jealousy, but I couldn't tell if it was jealousy because of how close the two were, or jealousy because there was no one to hold me like that.

Duo must have sensed my sadness, because the next time I spun him he came back a little too hard, hitting into my chest. I would have thought it an accident, but he grinned at me and rubbed his cheek against mine. Then, in the next instant, he was once again dancing as though nothing had happened. But the warm feeling would not leave my chest.

The dance sped up again, and we were once again twirling, this time as a pair. As we circled, I noticed first that the Duke had joined Master, and second that Master was frowning. In the next passed, I found that Madam Long had left, and Master was suppressing a glare. I worried and wondered if I should go help, but the next turn of the dance had already pulled me away. I nearly tripped Duo, rushing to turn again so that I could see Master. But when I did turn, I found the table to be empty. I felt a flare of panic, but soon caught sight of Master leading Wufei toward the dance floor.

The dance finished and there were a few seconds for some dancers to sit down and others to join. As Master and Wufei entered the dance floor, I pulled Duo over to where they were standing, and noticed that Trowa was following suit. We arrived just in time to pick up our respective partners and begin the next song.

As we danced, I noticed many people staring at us. Curiosity piqued, I tried to figure out what could interest them so. After careful scrutiny, I realized the picture we made, with two angels and two demons surrounding the dancing pair of Master and the dragon. It seemed almost as though we had carefully selected the costumes to highlight not only our own beauty, but that of Master. Surrounded by angels and demons and dancing with a dragon, his golden hair highlighted by the gold of his clothes and the deep ruby of his coat, Master looked like an immortal god, come down to the plain of man for a lusty and lavish affair. Dragon seemed to be his guardian, and we angels and demons seemed like subjects under his benign rule.

The party took several more hours, longer than most of the other parties, but it was over far too soon. Always at the back of my mind as the last dances were finished and the party began to dispense was the slithering feeling of despair. I had been able to block out the thought at the beginning of the party, but as it came to a close there was no denying that I would soon bid my last goodbye to Duo. I felt that I could barely allow him out of my arms to spin as we danced, for in the next moment I knew he would be plucked from me.

But I was being irrational, and I knew it. I chastised myself time and again for the longing I felt for the beautiful boy. I had only known him for a few days, there was no conceivable way I could have formed an emotional attachment that quickly. A few short months ago, before Master had taken me, I had not been sure I was capable of emotional attachments, and now I thought I was... affectionate toward a slave I barely knew? The only logical reasoning I could come up with was that I merely lusted after him, which was selfish and low. I knew Duo hated being thought of as a sexual toy, and I was also aware of my lusty Master who would gleefully help me satisfy my needs. And yet I still greedily lusted after something that was not mine? Someone who had shown no interest in me other than on a platonic level? I dared to betray my Master by becoming enchanted by a slave who could barely tolerate Master, and who Master could barely stand as well?

But there were pluses to Maxwell to balance the scale. Firstly, he was famous, or perhaps infamous, which got Master the publicity that he needed. And to have seemingly tamed Shinigami was getting more and more masters to look toward Master Zechs as a potential ally or threat. Along with Wufei, Master had successfully tamed the two most stubborn and aggressive slaves at Collar in his first year, and the public could see that. It was important for the other masters to see he was serious about Collar, so that they would share some of their techniques with him in the summer. Masters commonly held parties at their private residences during the summer to solidify their allies and share training techniques and information about the upcoming Collar. It was important that Master gain information from the more experienced masters, and Duo had almost guaranteed that he would get invited to several parties in the summer.

But would Master think it was worth the aggravation of keeping him? He would certainly see the risk of Duo acting up in front of some important allies and hurting his reputation. Could Master truly tame Shinigami? If anyone could, I knew that it would be Master, but I wondered if Shinigami was tameable at all. And Master seemed to look forward to Duo's leaving. Was he jealous of the time I put into Duo? Was he afraid I would turn my affections toward the other slave? Certainly he couldn't doubt my loyalty, for Master was most important in my life. But... Duo... needed me. As strong as he was, he was as easily frightened as he was angered, and as easily depressed as he was excited. And I wondered, often, if he wasn't sad more often than he was happy, for the smile on his lips rarely touched his eyes, and I had noticed that his smile disappeared the instant he thought he was alone. There was a longing in him that was the same for the rest of us, but he had been hurt so much more that he was afraid of reaching, afraid of hoping. Certainly I could understand the instinct that led Duo to push away what he wanted most, for fear of having it stolen again.

The dance ended, and I realized that I hadn't paid attention through most of it. It was lucky that I was decent at multitasking, for I felt that I needed to think things through, and now was my last chance. Within the hour, Duo would be returned to the warehouse, and by the next day would be auctioned off or killed. As far as rumor went, the older masters were tired of trying to tame the Shinigami, and none of the new masters had enough money to purchase such an expensive slave. Master was Duo's only hope, and it was a slim hope at that.

Final goodbyes were made, and an unusually large amount of masters came to wish Master farewell. It seemed that we would be invited to many parties over the summer. I shuddered at the thought. I had been hoping for some peace to train before returning to the Collar competition. The constant partying was beginning to wear me out, and social graces had never been a particularly appealing aspect for me.

When we were finally able to leave we boarded an elevator to return us to our floor. It was then that Duo began to return to his usual personality, first by tugging on his costume, then by taking off his mask, and finally be dropping down to sit on the floor. There were a lot floors in the station we were on, and we were all tired, but none of us were tired enough to plop down on the floor, and I knew Duo was just doing it to irk Master. I wanted to smack him, though Master patiently ignored the behavior. This, in turn, irked Duo, who decided to try again.

"What a shindig, huh? Never seen so many jerks together in one spot, huh?" Duo said, smirking hatefully at Master, but was again ignored. He went on, undaunted. "It's like they all come together once a year, every jerk in a mile radius, come together at one party to do all kinds of stuff," he tried again, with the same result. "I'll be glad to get back and wash the smell out of my hair. You gonna let me use the big shower this time, or you wanna hog it all for yourself again?" Duo asked Master.

"We won't have time," Master finally responded.

"Hey, look, it's not that late and I may have long hair but I don't take hours to-..."

"We don't have hours. You forget, you go back to the warehouse tonight," Master informed him tonelessly, his face cold and blank. Duo looked shocked for a minute, then returned to the angry scowl he had worn since he started his verbal assault.

"That's fine. I'm tired of putting up with you all the time anyway. You and all your friends from the party. And what a party, too!" he gushed with sarcastic enthusiasm. "Bunch a richy-riches, huh? Spared no expense- Well, except when it came to food. But then, who needs food when you're pouring enough alcohol down your throat to knock and elephant on its butt, huh? Guess they forgot the poor little slaves, though. Couldn't even give us a damn drink. Psh. But it's okay, no hard feelings. Freaking masters..."

"Duo, you're babbling," I muttered. He gave me a scathing glare.

"So? I'm hungry! I talk when I'm hungry! That a problem?"

I shot a glare back and opened my mouth to retort when Master sighed and pressed the stop button on the elevator.

"If it will keep you quiet," Master said, "we'll stop and get something to eat. I'm a bit hungry myself."

"Uh-..." Duo hesitated, shocked by Master's generosity, then his face lit up. "Yeah! That's what I'm talking about!"

The doors opened and Master led us out of the elevator. I followed right behind him, and Duo followed excitedly at my heels. By the time we arrived at the bakery and Master placed our orders, Duo was almost dancing in his spot.

The food placated Duo, and we finished the journey in relative quiet. Duo often became tired after eating a substantial meal, and tonight was no different. By the time we arrived back at the room, I was almost carrying him.

"Put him in the slave's quarters," Master instructed. "We have some time before he has to be back and I was going to have a cup of coffee before we go."

I nodded and took Duo to lay him down, but when I went to set him down on the bed, he grabbed my arm and opened his eyes, instantly awake, but still groggy from sleep.

"'M I back 'lready?" he mumbled.

"No. You fell asleep and Master said you could rest a bit before leaving," I told him, settling him on the bed and moving to sit beside him.

"That's good. I don't know if I'll get any sleep in the cage, that damn hay itches! Wanna be energized for tomorrow, whether I'm trying to attract a master or lookin' to make a quick escape. All this food lately, too. Man, I haven't felt this good in a while now..." he said, drifting back to sleep even as he spoke. With Duo, it was all ups and downs. When he was happy, he was always exuberant, excited, constantly moving and laughing. But just as quickly as he went up, he came down, and he would often crash with the same speed he used to be happy.

As Duo slept, I ran my hands through his hair and watched his cherub face relaxed peacefully in a fitful sleep. It wasn't hard to convince myself to do what I knew needed to be done, not while looking at that face. Gone were all the masks of the daytime, all the fears and anxieties, the phobias and the pain. Were we really so different, in the end? He covered his fears with masks of emotions, while I hid mine behind a stony indifference. In the end, though, wasn't the result that same?

The question was almost too charged for me, and I quickly escaped into the kitchen, where Master was having a cup of coffee and a dose of aspirin. I joined him at the table, watching as he sipped desperately at the hot liquid. I knew Master had a habit of getting headaches, particularly when he was having problems with his slaves. He had used up an entire bottle of aspirin on the arrivals of Quatre and Trowa, and was almost through a second with the tensions caused by Wufei and Duo. I didn't doubt he had snuck a couple tablets on my behalf, as well. But, strangely enough, even when his headaches were the worst, he was still even tempered with us. He might snap more and growl once or twice, but he never punished more or less with the ebb and flow of his headaches.

And he was beautiful. It was hard to deny it, even as shallow as it might seem, but we were lucky to have a master who was not only kind, but also beautiful. Many slaves were cursed with repulsive masters, and many were forced to dose themselves with drugs in order to perform. Master was a strong, gentle lover, who was always careful to arouse and satisfy me. I could only say me, of course, because I was not aware of his having intercourse with any of the other slaves except Trowa, who had not spoken of that night, nor had he repeated it.

And, as I sat there, staring at Master as he casually sipped his coffee, never losing his air of beauty, refinement, and grace, I was afraid. I was afraid that, by asking for more, I would endanger what I already had. What if Master thought I was greedy? What if he thought I was selfish? I could find myself on the blocks, just like Duo, and how would that help him? And I doubted that Master would say yes anyway, because he hated Shinigami so much. And Shinigami had gotten out of tighter situations before, right? I... I couldn't go back to that. I wouldn't survive.

So I sat there, half a foot away from the only man who could save Duo, and said nothing. I couldn't move, couldn't feel, couldn't breathe. I felt like the stone man I had been before Master found me, and I was too afraid to break free. I fought, against the fear and the uncertainty, but it seemed as though I was losing ground every second. And by the time Master finished his coffee, I had been buried alive.

"Go get Shinigami," he instructed, and I rose to do his bidding without a moment of hesitation. No, a good slave would never hesitate. A good slave did their master's bidding instantly, without thinking of the consequences.

I walked noiselessly to the slave's quarters, just as I had been trained to, and opened the door without a sound. To my surprise, Duo was already awake, sitting on the bed and braiding his hair. He smiled at me as I entered, but I did not respond. Could not respond.

"Heero, my man. You come to pick me up for the long road?" he asked, a lopsided grin on his face that I did not allow myself to interpret.

"Affirmative. The Master wishes to return you now," I informed him. His smile faltered into a confused look, and I was about to repeat myself when he tied off his hair and stood.

"Hey, man, don't get so upset. There was nothing you could do, huh? Everybody's gotta go sometime, and maybe now's not my time. Maybe it is," he said, laying a hand on my shoulder. "I mean, I wouldn't have had this great time if it wasn't for you, 'cause the asshole would 'a got rid of me the second my cruddy bare feet touched his manicured carpet if it weren't for you. I know how much it took to keep me out of trouble, and how many times you jumped in on my behalf. So... thank's, man. I really owe you one," he said with a wink before preceding me out the door.

How could he be so brave in the face of such a bleak future? Wasn't he afraid of death? Couldn't he see what lay ahead of him? Or was he only trying to spare me guilt at seeing him go?

Whatever the reason, I could only feel awe as I watched him stride through the door, as though not a care in the world rested on his shoulders. And I knew, I simply knew, that I could not let such an amazing creature be destroyed. And, suddenly, I was able to breathe again. The rock cracked, and there was fear and pain and everything else I had locked away, but I was myself again, and not the doll inhabited by a soul.

The walk to the warehouse and back was strangely short, but it could have merely been because I was so worried about how to ask Master. I knew I had to get him alone, somewhere private, so I could only hope that the others would be asleep when we returned. Wufei, after finally beginning to trust Master, had still been hesitant about coming to bed with all of us, but after his first night of nervousness had felt no guilt about sliding into bed with Master, Quatre, Trowa, and myself, or any combination of those listed. Not that I could blame him. In place as cruel a Collar, even the touch of warm, unassuming skin was a luxury to be enjoyed, and sharing a bed with those closest and more trusted to you was a rare gift.

Dropping Duo off was anti-climactic as well, for it merely consisted of Master signing him back into the Warehouse and handing him over to the guards. He went sedately, I think perhaps a farewell present to Master and myself, though there were sounds of a scuffle and several shouts as Master and I departed. I saw a faint, almost approving grin on Master's lips, but it so quickly vanished that I could have imagined it.

And then, suddenly, we were back in the apartment, and I was standing in the middle of the den, and Master was heading for the bedroom. I saw my last chance slip away and the breath caught in my throat, for once Master reached the bedroom I would not be able to talk to him away from the other slaves, and I worried that the others would side with Master and try to persuade me not to bring Duo back. I couldn't allow that. I couldn't lose him!

"Master!" I puffed, somewhere between a whisper and a scream.

"Hmm?" he asked, turning to face me with surprised, confused look on his face. "What is it, Heero?"

"I... I need to speak with you."

"Oh. Alright then. Let's go to the den, hm?" he asked, leading me to the long couch. He sat down, but I could not. There was too much nervous energy inside me for sitting.

"Master... I... I need..." I tried, but everything was getting heavy again, and I could barely breathe.

"Heero? Calm down, love!" he whispered harshly, pulling me into his lap. His hands were gentle, running up and down my back, until I could breathe again. I was never afraid with Master.

"Now, if you can ask without panicking, why don't you ask your question?" Master cooed gently in my ear. I nodded, still leaning heavily against his chest.

"I... I need a favor, Master."

"I assumed as much, Heero. I was pretty sure you needed something when you called me out here. What is it? You know I can deny you nothing."

"I want you... I want you to buy Shinigami."

Master stilled behind me, and I held my breath, not daring to look at him. Finally, he sighed and forced me to look at him.

"Are you sure this is what you want?" he asked seriously. "You'd still be responsible for him, along with practicing for Collar. You wouldn't be able to slack off, and you'd have to make sure he behaves himself and practices too. Are you sure you want this responsibility?"

"I do," I told him, and he gave me a sad smile.

"Well, I can't really say I'm surprised. I had an inking that you'd ask me this. I'd hoped you wouldn't, but was pretty sure you would. I suppose this is my punishment for meddling, hm? After all, I was trying to find you a friend when I picked Duo up, and now that I'd rather be rid of him, you'd rather have him."

"I assure you, Master, this is not in any way your fault."

"Oh, of course it is, I picked him up, after all. But it doesn't matter. In the morning, we'll go to the auction and buy him outright. Still..." he said, hesitating and giving me a playful, hopeful smile. "Are you sure you don't want a different friend? There are hundreds to choose from! A red head or a blonde..."

"No," I replied gently, smiling only because I knew Master was teasing, "I want this one. He's special."

"Ah. Well, then, let's get to bed. We're going to have a busy day tomorrow. With adopting a demon into the family and all."


	89. Duo 88

Nobody expected me to die that morning more than I did. I was sure that, after a fairly short run, my time was finally up. I didn't tell anybody, nor did I stop trying to escape, but everything I did that night and the following morning had a certain... defeated feeling to it. Like I was already dead, and just waiting for the axe to fall and my soul to slip into oblivion.

Of course, most of it was my own damn fault. I should have tried to escape before they brought me back to the warehouse and put me into the reinforced cage. That would have been the optimum time to get away. Unfortunately, I just hadn't been able to give Heero any more grief, not on our last day, and not with him looking so tense. We had been kinda close, but I hadn't really thought my leaving would affect him. Or maybe it was my death he was so upset about. They seemed to coincide, really.

That night, as I lay in the itchy, stinking hay, I wondered if he thought of me. Stupid, huh? I mean, who cares if he's thinking of me? What can I do about it? Or how would I even know about it? But, I did wonder, and I saw his face again, with those haunting blue eyes, and I wondered if I'd ever see him again. I made a point not to wonder like that, because no one could ever tell what the next day held, and wishing only led to more pain. But, in what I thought to be my last hours, I couldn't help hoping to see those eyes again, if only for a minute.

The next day they darted me before I could even stand up. A precaution, I guess, because I was known to be most vicious right before a sale. I was almost glad for it, though, because I didn't really feel like being vicious today. I felt almost... defeated, even before the sale began. It was wholly unlike me, who always fought even against the worst odds. But perhaps my time was finally up.

They stripped me, something they hadn't bothered to do last night, ripping Heero's spare clothes off my body. I felt a twang of regret to see a gift handled so poorly, but I had known it was coming all along. If there weren't golden threads in the clothes, these people didn't give a damn about them. Speaking of gold thread, as soon as the comfortable clothes were gone they shoved me into a gold thong about six sizes too small, then oiled my body until they could barely keep a hold of me even when I wasn't struggling. The oil would have made an attempted escape easier if they had been dumb enough to put shackles on my wrists, but they weren't. They had been through this a couple of times with me, and so they put the collar around my neck and handcuffed my wrists behind me. I could break my wrists and get out of the cuffs, but breaking my neck to get out of the collar would kind of defeat the purpose.

Once that was done it was over to hair and make-up. The hair they really didn't do much to other than taking it out of the braid and brushing it. They knew from experience that I went wild if anything sharp came near my hair. The make-up was a different story, and I got the full works. They brushed gold powder on my face, put kohl and mascara on my eyes, gave me golden eyeshadow, and painted my lips a shimmering red color. All in all I was pretty, but it wasn't what I would have picked for myself. I guess they were trying to make it seem like I was worth my weight in gold, because that's what they were trying to sell me for.

Then it was off to my stage, or the big box with a glass window I was displayed in. I didn't have anything to do, since I had learned from experience that the guards would shove something unpleasant up my ass if I made faces at the potential buyers, but I was drugged enough that time went pretty fast. I don't think I saw Heero that day, which was a mixed blessing, but I could have simply been too drugged to recognize him. So there was the ever morphing image of masters in front of me, and then I was being dragged out of the box and onto the stage.

Now, don't get me wrong. I was perfectly aware that these were my last few minutes on Earth. But I will always be, even to my last breath, a showman. So, on stage in front of hundreds of masters who hated me for disgracing them and hundreds more who were disgusted by the waste I was about to become, I walked onto that stage with a shit eating grin on my face, stuck my tongue out, and flicked off the masses. There was a murmur of disapproval, though I heard a few scattered chuckles around. That's all I ask for, really, to piss off as many people as I can for the amusement of the few who can enjoy it.

The guards came out then, but I wasn't worried. They couldn't manhandle me on stage, in front of the customers. Instead, they dragged me, backwards and grinning like a loon, to a small stool, where I was supposed to wait patiently for five minutes, which was the time at which, if no bids had been made, I would be dragged to the back and quickly, quietly, and sanitarily killed. Not that I would be quiet. And, actually, with the way the guards were leering at me, I wasn't sure my death would be quick or sanitary either.

Sitting there, with my time ticking down, I figured I'd enjoy my last few breaths of air.

Which was when a one and an insane number of zeros appeared in red lettering on the board above me.

Now, Collar is far above the normal auctions, where people yell or pull their earlobe to signal a bid. In this auction, all the Masters sat behind a small desk and when they wanted to make a bid, they just typed in the number and the proper amount of zeros and hit the enter key. No muss, no fuss.

But... who the hell would waste that kind of money on me? Who had that kind of money to waste? And those were only a few of the questions that blew around in my, and apparently the shocked crowed before me's mind. Suddenly, one of the Masters rose. Looking closer, I could see the Duke standing before me, and hoped he wasn't the one who bought me. That guy was a real jackass.

My fears were put to rest, however, when the Duke began to laugh uproariously, garnering chuckles from the surrounding Masters.

"Who did it?" he shouted to the hall, still laughing. "Who's the upstart who wants to tame the Shinigami, hm? Who's naive enough to think that fucking the demon is worth the price of inviting him into your home?"

"That," the big blonde badass said in a strong voice, standing imposingly above the rest of the masters, "would be me."

The Duke burst out in laughter again, but this time he was alone. "So, my friend, you think you're ready to take on the devil? We'll see how you dance now!"

"With all due respect, I'm going to give it a try. And, if you don't mind my saying, I enjoy a challenge. Besides, you can't deny that the boy does have a million dollar body."

"Well," the Duke said, still chuckling, "I wish you luck. You'll need it," he said, and they both sat back down.

What the hell? Hadn't I tormented the blonde beast enough? I mean, I was certain when I left that he hated me, despite the one day of behaving myself. He couldn't possible think I would be that nice all the time, could he?

But who was I to look a gift horse in the mouth? Hell, I'd never even seen a horse, but I was smart enough not to complain about a gift that had essentially saved my ass. Speaking of which, I complacently walked my skinny little ass over to sit down, calmly and obediently, beside my new master. I wasn't going to give him a reason to change his mind, not when I had just escaped death.

We slaves, of course, weren't allowed to sit next to our masters, but instead had to duck under the table and out of sight. It wasn't so bad, though, because there was a thick mat on the floor for us to lay on, but mainly because I found that Heero was already under the table waiting for me. The relief in his eyes upon seeing me put a knife in my chest; I hated hurting people, and only pain could come from growing attached to me. I mean, look at what had just happened. I almost died. Would he have been sad? Hurt? I didn't want that. But, then again, I didn't think I could push him away either. Despite not wanting to hurt him, I had grown fond of his presence. I felt that he was trustworthy, and I trusted very few people. I had gotten close to him, something I hadn't allowed since Solo, and I felt almost a physical need to be close to him. Hey, everybody needs somebody, right?

So... I'd wing it, just like I always did. Come hell or high water, I'd do whatever my gut told me to at the time and beat myself up about it later. The Shinigami motto, I supposed.

Heero and I sat together under the table, not touching but basking in the other's body heat, for at least another hour. The bidding still wasn't over, but Zechs gave a gruff snort and got up in a huff, leaving us to scurry after him. He still hadn't bought another slave, but after the amount he had spent on me I wasn't surprised. It wasn't the most ever spent for a slave at Collar, but it was fifth on the list. And that is one hell of a lot of money for one broken slave. Still, I kind of doubted that it was the money that kept the bid man from buying anymore. The master never struck me as the kind of person to make a bid he couldn't afford, and three minutes of deliberation should have been well enough for him to decide whether or not his bank account could support me. No, there just must not have been any slaves that interested him or something. I had to admit, after the first hour or so pickings at the auction tended to get slim. They sold their prize slaves, then just tried to force the warehouse trash off on somebody else. Most of the last slaves were used up, burned out, bitter, angry, and ugly. It was harsh, but true. If the master wanted a good slave now, he'd have to get one brand-new and freshly or not yet broken. And breaking a slave was about as much fun as handling me, for those who don't like to wield a whip and a heavy hand.

We went to a sort of reception after that, where we again sat on the floor while the butthead schmoozed and drank coffee with his buddies. Oh, I'm smart enough to know that half of it was political alliances and crap, but would it have killed him to pass a little coffee my way? Would he have died? I don't think so.

Anyway, once that was over I had to go back into the warehouse for the night, or at least until my new master's check cleared the bank. Then I was officially property of Prince I've-Got-My-Head-Up-My-Ass. I could only hope that the guards remembered that I could be returned if I showed up in worse condition than I was sold in. I didn't hold much hope, but I did hold some.

That night was the second night in a row that I had slept away from Heero, who had constantly snuck into my bed while I was with them, and the second night in a row that screaming nightmares haunted me. The next morning, obviously, I was tired, grumpy, and slow. Maybe, just maybe, if I hadn't been all three at the same time, the next day wouldn't have ended so disastrously.


	90. Heero 89

Wufei left the morning after we returned Duo, and returned the evening after we bought him. It was unexpected, as none of us had ever expected to see him again outside of the Collar games. Master, especially, had been upset, though he had tried not to show it. He moped around the apartment most of the day, pretending that he was reading while he never turned a page. We hadn't known Wufei that long, but Master had formed a special bond with him, a warriors bond, and was having trouble breaking it. I think Wufei was the only one of us that considered himself equal with Master, and somehow that had appealed to our leader. Like he wanted to be challenged and questioned. Like he liked the rage and the attitude, the curses and the smart remarks. Or maybe he was simply sad to see one of his group leave. Master had, after all, never sold a slave before or parted with one for more than a few days. Maybe he just couldn't stand seeing something that was his taken away.

Perhaps I would never really understand Master, but I did understand the way the shadows disappeared from his face when we found Wufei at the door. It was early morning, though by Collar time it was actually very late, and we had all been getting ready to go to bed. But all that was forgotten when we saw Wufei, and Master and Quatre began to ask questions as though he had been gone a month, and Trowa and I pulled him into the house and got him to sit down at the table.

"I... ah, thank you, Trowa," he said as Trowa deposited an iced tea in front of him. He sipped at it, then shook his head, as though trying to bring himself back to purpose. When he continued, his voice was deep and determined. "I actually have a message to relay, and a question to ask of you, Master Zechs," Wufei said, ever polite and diplomatic. "The Owner would like to congratulate you on defeating me. He also said that... since you have proven yourself strong enough to take care of me... and because he will be away on business most of the summer... he would ask you to care for me for the entirety of the recess period between the Collar banquet and the Collar games. I would... I would be your slave, without any rules to what you can or cannot due to me. There would be no contract other than that you will not kill me."

"I see," Master said, his eyes filled with thoughts as his brain processed everything he had just heard. He deliberated for what seemed like a very long time before asking, "Would you like to stay with me for the summer?"

Wufei, likewise, deliberated for a moment, then seemed to have great difficulty finding the right words. "I... It would not be... the worst possible outcome... from my given options," he said, ever proud. Master smiled indulgently.

"I'll assume that's the closest I'm going to get to a yes," he replied, making Wufei smile as well. "In that case, I have only one more thing I must ask. Will the Owner allow you to compete for me in the Collar competition?"

Wufei looked startled, as I'm sure the rest of us did. Wufei was probably the best lone player at Collar. To ask the Owner to let him play for us was like asking the Owner to give us half the space station.

"I-... I'll see what I can do," Wufei answered hesitantly.

"My answer is still a yes," Master replied, smiling gently, "but it would make my life a lot easier if I had one reliable slave who had been through Collar, if only to help get the others ready."

"Ah... yes," Wufei said, looking relieved and somewhat embarrassed, "but you must know that I have never won at Collar, and I never placed or participated in most of the events."

"But you did place in several."

"Yes."

"Then you've done better than us. You have to remember, this is my first year, and as dedicated as the rest of the boys are, they've never competed before. You'll be a big help, no matter what."

"Then I will take my leave. I have much to discuss with my master."

"Surely you can stay a little longer."

"No. My master... ah... requires my services as of this evening," he said, blushing fiercely.

"I understand," Master said, giving him a sympathetic look. "Take care of yourself, then. I will see you tomorrow?"

"Yes, but probably only a few hours before the flight. I have a few things I must pack."

"I'll see you tomorrow. Be safe."

"Tomorrow. And thank you."

Wufei bowed, then departed quickly. Master sighed and rubbed his eyes, then took the three of us to bed. I took a moment to reflect on how lucky I was, how lucky we were, to be owned by Master. I didn't want to think of what was happening to Wufei with the Owner, but he was strong, and I was confident that he could hold up long enough to get back to us.

The next day was filled with a suppressed excitement as we ate and then began to pack. It didn't take much, because we only had three sets of casual clothes a piece, and only two or three costumes. Quatre only had one. Master, on the other hand, had two suitcases full of delicate clothes, though this was still less than most masters.

It was almost lunch when everything was packed and sent ahead of us to the plane. We kept only the essentials, some clothes and hygienic products that we would carry with us on the plane. Master also bought several doses of medication, which I was pretty sure was the same drug he had dosed me with on my first trip. I was glad, although I didn't envy Master babysitting me and the others while on those drugs. Perhaps Trowa or Wufei could stay sober and help him.

As the day progressed, I became more and more tense, worrying about Duo. By late afternoon, I was almost hopping in place, and Master finally got fed up enough to send me on ahead.

"Go get him ready, alright? Fill out the paperwork for me and I'll be down in a little while to sign it. Go on!"

So I trotted off to find Duo and managed, just barely, to keep myself from running. I was a little worried that he'd behave badly, but mainly I was excited about getting Duo back with the group. For some reason, I felt that our group could only be complete once Duo and then Wufei were returned. It felt shattered now, divided. We needed to get everyone back together for our... family to be complete.

I arrived at the warehouse and, in common slave treatment, I was harshly given a cage number and then ignored, left wander the halls in search of the right number. I could have been wandering for hours, but a pair of passing guards were muttering about "babysitting duty with the demon" and I was able to follow them.

I wasn't too surprised that Duo was being yelled at. He was... well... Duo. But when I got closer and found his nose bleeding my hackles began to rise. There was trouble in the air, and Duo was right in the middle of it.

"Take off!" one of the attacking guards yelled to the others. "We've got some business to attend to with a certain little demon. We'll take your shift."

"Alright, but you damage the goods and you're taking the hit, y'hear!" one of the two new guards yelled, then they both headed on their way, muttering something about getting a beer.

Well, obviously I would not receive a great amount of help from the local authority figures. Assessing the situation, I would have to hope I could either diffuse it myself or stall until Master arrived. Of course, my instincts screamed at me to rush in and diffuse the situation using force, but I had been trained for years to ignore my instincts and think logically, and tonight was no different. As always, my first concern was Master's well-being, for only through Master could Duo and myself be well. But perhaps that only makes sense to a slave, one who has had to depend on another for everything, always. Perhaps only a slave can understand that kind of total dependency, the feeling of having one's life drastically altered by a shift of the mood of another person. Can anyone else truly understand that?

Regardless, I was able to assess that Duo was in danger, but not in a critical sense. My physical intervention could be detrimental to the situation, but I could not stand idly by. I hoped that the guards would not forget that Duo was owned. A nosebleed could easily be dismissed by a master, but any further damage and Master could actually sue the guards for damaging his property and lessening his value. Unfortunately it did not look like the guards would let up any time soon, despite what damage was done to Duo.

And Duo... Duo looked more irate than anything, glaring at the guard even as he was being pinned up against the wall by the larger of the two guards. The guard yelled something unintelligible, and Duo actually spat in his face. Spat in his face! That would certainly make my job of protecting him easier. Yes, lets just make them more angry.

I sighed. What to do? If I intervened, I could very well make the guards more angry, but if I didn't it looked like Duo would be seriously injured. But could I really keep the guards from doing any damage? Could I even stall them? And what of Master? Would this new spat be enough for him to finally get rid of Duo, and maybe even myself? He wasn't happy with taking Duo anyway, what would he think of this new catastrophe?

The guard lifted Duo, still pinned against the wall, off his feet and threw him to the floor. He grunted in pain, but the guard wasn't done. He went after Duo. And that was it. I knew there was no hope for Duo if I didn't intervene. For whatever Duo had done, the guards were mad enough not to let it go. They were going to beat Duo within an inch of his life, and I simply couldn't allow that.

"Sirs," I said loudly, trying to get their attention and bring them away from Duo. "I'm here to receive the Shinigami for transport into a private facility."

"We're not done yet. Come back in an hour," one said, sneering at me as he kicked Duo in the ribs. "You wanna mouth off now?" he spat at Duo, who had curled into a protective ball.

I spared myself a moment for the first time to look critically at these two as adversaries. The first, the one who had pinned Duo against the wall and was now standing over him ready to aim another kick, was roughly 6'8" and well over 250 pounds. He was, obviously, a big guy, more muscle than fat, with a blonde buzz cut, a sour face, and cold blue eyes. He didn't strike me as extremely intelligent, but he wasn't an idiot either. The second one was of slight stature, probably around 6'2". He seemed young, mid-twenties, and of pretty average weight. There seemed to be a sharp wit in his blue eyes, but again it was nothing above normal. His hair was black, a bit longer that usual for a male, with a slightly messy look to it that could have been on purpose.

And, of course, I had to factor in Duo. Chances were that he would either serve as a hostage or an antagonizing factor for the other side. I doubted he'd be much help to me as he'd already been injured. With that in mind, I decided my best chance at success, and survival, was to stall for Master and hope he could diffuse the situation.

"Excuse me, sir, but I am here to retrieve my Master's property."

"Scat!" the smaller on spat at me, shoving me back a few paces.

"If you damage my Master property there will be consequences," I replied, keeping my face impassive.

"Damage, huh?" the larger one sneered. "I'll show you some damage!" he yelled, then lifted Duo off the ground by one wrist and flung him into the wall, cracking his head against the metal. "This'll show you to listen to your elders!"

Duo gave a moan of pain, his head lolling, but stubbornly refused to give up. "Screw you!" he yelled, then spat, again, on the guard's face.

Yes, Duo. Make him more angry. That's just what we need.

"I'll show you some respect!" the guard yelled and slammed Duo against the wall again.

"Leave him alone!" I yelled, moving to engage the larger goon, but the smaller guard intercepted me.

"Heh, I wouldn't mess with him," he said, sneering at me. "You don't want to be in the same position as your friend, do you?" he asked. Duo, meanwhile, was dropped to the floor, and the guard began to kick him again. A particularly nasty kick to the face sent him sprawling to his stomach, and another to his gut turned him onto his back. The guard then began to stomp on Duo's stomach, the blows making Duo's entire body jump and convulse. If I didn't get him to stop soon, Duo might die.

Meanwhile, the smaller guard had engaged me as I tried get by him to help Duo.

"I warned you," he said before shoving me into a wall and aiming a punch at my head. I dodged, but wasn't fast enough to completely get out of the way, and the struck the side of my head, throwing me off balance. Using my disorientation to his advantage, the guard grabbed my head and slammed it against the wall.

After that, I was done playing around. Initially, I had hoped not to attack the guards and cause more problems for Master. Unfortunately, with the blows delivered to Duo becoming more serious by the second, it looked like I would not be able to wait for Master to come. I went into mission mode, where I knew that by sheer force of will I would be able to put my own pain aside and focus on saving Duo.

I struck quickly, placing my back against the wall and jumping, then shoved both feet into the diaphragm of the guard. He grunted and flew against the opposite wall, striking it with enough force to render him unconscious. Then I turned my attention to the larger guard, who I had managed to distract from Duo by my attack on his partner. Duo took the momentary lapse to push himself off the ground, but could only get to his elbows. The side of his face was swollen and bloody, with more blood spirting from his nose. Still, he managed to give me a look that clearly said, "What the hell are you thinking?" I, of course, was thinking of saving his ass, and my own.

The large guard charged me, grabbing me around the middle and slamming me into a wall. I could only minimize the damage by curling around him, so that only my back struck the wall, and not my head. Once against the wall, I launched my own attack, slamming my fist down onto his head. Unfortunately, I was smaller than he was, so most of my blows glanced off of him.

In the next moment, both the guard and I were tossed to the side as Duo plowed into the guard and took us both down. We became a chaotic pile of limbs, each person trying to get out from underneath the other and to the top of the pile. We eventually managed to separated, each of us going our own way to form a triangular standoff.

We faced each other, the guard looking for weakness, Duo trying to signal for me to run, and me trying to figure out just how bad of shape Duo was in. The face-off only lasted a second, though, because in the next instant the guard had rushed me, throwing me into a wall where I hit my head again and saw stars. When my vision cleared, I saw that he had abandoned me in favor of Duo, and was now strangling him a devious intent that I doubted would be swayed. I tried to get up only to have a boot connect with my stomach. Apparently, the smaller guard had come to, and was severely pissed off at me. But, with Duo turning blue, I didn't have time to deal with him. Unfortunately, he wasn't giving me much of an option, for every time I rose to help Duo he kicked me down or kicked my legs out from under me. Duo was struggling harder now, sinking his nails into his assailant and thrashing like a dying animal, but to no avail. And with all my effort to get to him, it seemed that every time I gained an inch the guard knocked me back a foot. I was losing Duo, and I had just found him.

"Get the hell away from my slaves!"


	91. Duo 90

Alright, I don't want to be rude, but who left the review that says, "gross they are not gay" at chapter thirty? I mean, honestly, why chapter thirty? Did it take you that long to realize what they were doing? Did you not know they were men? And I'm fairly sure I at least implied that this would be a yaoi fic somewhere BEFORE chapter thirty. But, beyond that, I could completely understand someone saying, "I do not believe that the original creators of GW intended them to be homosexual and I disagree with your characterization decision." Or even, "I really don't agree with the life style choice of your characters." Or perhaps even the same review at chapter one or two. But thirty? Come on.

Sorry to all my fans out there who are perfectly fine with the life style of my characters and fully understand that they are gay. I was just... kind of awestruck. Not so much that someone disagreed, simply that they didn't disagree until chapter thirty. I was like, "What the heck?" But, anyway, on with the story. Oh, and if anyone does know who left that review, please have them contact me. I would be completely willing to debate this issue with them in a more adult conversation. More than anything, I think it's kinda funny. Sad, but funny.

"Get the hell away from my slaves!"

It was kind of hard to hear, with the blood rushing through my ears and all, but I could faintly make out the demanding words. And, I'll tell you, I'd never been so glad to see that asshole in my life.

Well, I suppose hear would be the correct term, because my vision was still dark and blurry. That changed in a moment, though, as the goon holding me dropped me to the floor. I think he might have charged Zechs, but I was too focused on coughing up my right lung to really tell. All I knew was one minute the guard was running away from me, then next minute he was flying backwards passed me.

Now, I don't want anyone to get the idea that Heero and I were weak or anything like that. Heero, from what I saw, was a damn good fighter, and if it had been one on one, or even a fair fight, he probably would have kicked their asses. But me 'n Heero are both short and scrawny, though I'm a good bit scrawnier than he is. Neither of us have any weight to spare, and it's hard to work up muscle mass without calories to sustain it. That's why the strongest guy in the gang gets fed first; not because he pushes anybody out of the way, but because if he doesn't eat he'll get weak and then the gang falls apart. That's life.

Zechs was that strongest guy. When me 'n Heero went at those guards it probably looked like a pair of five-year-old trying to take on a high school bully, but Zechs was just as big as them, maybe bigger. He had skills, too, although I don't know where he woulda learned to fight like that. He took the big one down with no problem, and the little one just freakin ran away when he saw the ass kicking his friend got.

And no wonder. Damn, was Zechs pissed! I'd never seen him so mad, not even after I dropkicked him in the stomach for no reason. He was literally shaking with rage, his chest heaving, and teeth bared in a vicious snarl. Man, he was territorial. There weren't many masters who'd get so ticked if someone roughed up their slaves. Although, this was going a little far by anyone's standards.

And Heero was almost as roughed up as I was, though he probably didn't think so. Heero was really, really good at completely ignoring his injuries. If I hadn't seen him get them myself I probably would have thought they were painted on or something. But, despite ignoring his injuries, he did have them. All that smashing of his head against the wall had nearly caved it in; he was bleeding pretty bad from the side of his head and the whole right half was swollen and bruised. He'd bitten his tongue at some point and there was blood dripping from his mouth and his nose, accentuating his black eye. I know his stomach must have been bruised, because he'd been kicked there several times, and his ankle was probably damned sprained from all the times it'd been kicked out from under him.

So, I was glad Zechs had come to help Heero and I wished I could spare a little more worry for him, but things were graying around the edges of my world and I decided that needed my attention as well. The air smelled like blood, so I could tell that my nose was bleeding even though I couldn't really tell it from the blood coming from my mouth. And it tasted just as bad as it smelled, too. But that wasn't my biggest worry anyway. No, I wasn't worried about a little nosebleed when my breath was coming in short, sickeningly wet gasps through a bruised and swollen throat and into a severely abused abdomen. It hurt really, really bad. So bad that I almost wished I could just stop breathing, because it was simply so hard to do. But we all know the end result of not breathing and I wasn't too keen on that one either.

Zechs was with Heero, I could see through part of my swollen eye, looking critically at his slave's damage. Probably estimating the price of it already, damn him, but at least I could trust that he'd take care of Heero. If anyone could bring him through this, that old bastard Zechs could.

It was, I thought, a nice parting thought on my behalf, a wish of goodwill toward Heero and at least nothing ill toward Zechs. I had seen a decent amount of deaths in my day and figured I was all but done in. It was terribly hard to breath, and I was really tired, so I figured I'd just... you know... stop.

But fate wasn't done with me yet, and in the next moment I felt hands on my face, hands that suddenly turned me to my side. Panicked and confused, I struggled against the hands, sucking in a breath that was slightly deeper and marginally less painful than the last as I did so.

"Duo, be still!" I heard Zechs snap, and let my body go limp. The last thing I wanted was another beating on top of the last one. Of course, it really wouldn't make a difference, would it?

"Will he live?" I heard Heero ask, his stoically masked voice tinged with a timid reluctance. As though he already knew the answer.

"I don't know," Zechs admitted, "but if he's going to have any chance at all we need to get him to the hospital wing."

"I'll call them."

"He'd be dead before they got here. Just point me in the right direction."

"I..." Heero hesitated and if I would have been able I'd have yelled at him not to tell. The location of the hospital was never to be known to masters, as it was the only way to really keep the slaves safe. The Owner himself protected the right of the slaves to have the hospital and would punish any master who forced his slave to tell. But if Heero just blurted it out... it could be the end of the only safe haven any slave could have.

"I can't tell you," he said finally and lowered his eyes to the floor. I would have cheered, if I weren't so preoccupied with dying.

"What do you mean, you can't tell me?"

"Masters are forbidden. You must understand..."

"Damn it, Heero, if you didn't care if Duo lived or died you should have never let me buy him!" Master roared, "You should have just given him a humane death! Now, I know this isn't because you don't trust me, because I've earned your trust several times over and I've never done anything to betray it. So, you tell me, do you want Shinigami to live or die? He doesn't have much time!"

"It's that way!" Heero said, closing his eyes as he pointed, as though he couldn't stand to look at himself. I would have said it served him right, but Heero didn't deserve my anger. Zechs didn't leave him much of a choice, and he really just wanted to help me. But... I couldn't even bring myself to think of all the damage he might have just done. It was immeasurable.

But all those thoughts were lost in the next moment, when Zechs scooped me off the ground and began to run full tilt down the hall, Heero following just behind. All the movement must have knocked me for a loop, though, and I think I passed out.

I was forced to wake outside of the hospital wing doors, though for the life of me I couldn't tell you exactly what woke me. I kinda thought Zechs might have yelled for help or something, but I don't remember hearing it, so I couldn't be sure. Whatever the reason, immediately upon waking I felt myself tip back as Zechs leaned backwards to give a powerful kick to the swinging doors in front of us. They slammed against the wall on the other side and startled every occupant in the room, making sure all eyes were on us.

An entrance worthy of Shinigami, even if Shinigami wasn't quite up to code at the moment.

Of course, I doubted if anyone would even recognize me as Shinigami in the state I was in. I probably looked like any other abused slave that walked through the doors, and wouldn't have garnered nearly as much attention if a strong, intimidating master hadn't been holding me in his arms.

"Can I get some god damned assistance!" Zechs yelled, and I would have smirked if I hadn't been hurting so bad. I guess he'd gotten tired of yelling, "Help!" all the time. The guy had style, if nothing else.

A pair of doctors hurried toward us, as well as a pair of startled looking guards. Guess they weren't going to get the easy shift they had been hoping for, not with Zechsy-poo around. The doctors started poking at me and I raised a hand to try to wave them away. If they couldn't see what was wrong with me I really didn't want them working on me. Meanwhile, the guards were trying to both get an explanation out of Zechs and drag him out of the middle of the doorway. Unfortunately, I was still in his arms, so Zechs was not moving, no matter what the guards insisted.

"Can we get a wheelchair or something?" Zechs snapped at one of the harried looking doctors.

"Uh... Oh! Yes!" he said, and stumbled off in his rush to find Zechs something to drop me on so he could get out of the waiting room and stop scaring all the injured slaves. Not that Zechs was trying or anything, just that having a master in the slave's sanctuary... it was terrifying.

A wheeled bed came around the corner in the next second, and it was a hell of a lot faster than I'd ever gotten one before. Still, I was bleeding all over their floor, so maybe the rush wasn't quite so strange. Zechs let me down, carefully, but it still hurt like hell when he moved me from his arms to the bed. My ribs screamed as my torso stretched from the curled position I had been in as Zechs held me to lie flat on my back.

Everything faded again and the next thing I knew I was being wheeled quickly down the halls and into an operating room. Damn. I had hoped I'd be dead before they could slice me open.

"Let's get an IV in him people, we don't have all day," one of the medics yelled as three or four others bustled around, setting up instruments and cutting me out of my clothes. One came over with an IV and a bag of fluid and I immediately recognized him as the orderly I'd become chummy with in one of my first stays.

"Mac!" I managed to whisper, harshly and filled with the wet sound of blood. He grinned down at me as he swabbed my arm and stuck me.

"I didn't think I'd see you again. I'm not sure whether to be glad or not, but I guess alive is alive, huh?"

"For now," I whispered just before the drug pulled me under.

I had to wonder if they'd be the last words I ever spoke.


	92. Zechs 91

Does anyone remember in which chapter I talked about the Collar competitions? As in, did I by chance outline a number? I thought I did, but now I can't find it, and I really don't have time to reread the whole story. So, if anyone knows, please clue me in.

Once Duo was out of the way, I turned my attention toward getting Heero some help. I was aware that the guards were not happy to have me there, but it was more important to get Heero seen than to comply with them. After what I had just witnessed, I really didn't feel bad about making life harder for a pair of guards.

How dare anyone lay a hand on one of my boys? How dare they? Did they think I wouldn't notice? Did they think I wouldn't mind they fact that they had beaten him nearly to death? Even if it was Shinigami, and even if he was a nuisance and my newest slave, did they really think I wouldn't mind?

But that was in the past, and there was nothing I could do about it now. It was a lesson well learned, for I would never allow my slaves so far from real protection again, and I could only hope that Duo would not have to pay for the lesson with his life. But, in the meantime, I still had Heero to see to. So, knowing full well that Duo's fate was now out of my hands, I turned my attention toward getting someone to see Heero, who was much less injured than Shinigami but injured none the less.

"Sir, I need you to follow me," one of the guards told me.

"If you hadn't noticed, I have two slaves that need medical attention. I will be happy to follow you after a doctor has seen my second slave and reported on my first. If you wish me to leave before that, you may remove me bodily, but I warn you that I will go neither peaceably nor quietly. Do you understand?"

"Uh... yes, sir. I'll see if I can find someone," he said, then walked away, leaving his partner to keep a steady eye on me.

I was much relieved, a few minutes later, to see Dr. Hutch, the same doctor who had treated Quatre, come bustling out of a pair of double doors. He seemed harried but composed as he waved for us to follow him, then led us into a small examining room.

"You have a knack for trouble," Dr. Hutch commented as he signaled for me to help Heero onto the examining table as he got out his instruments.

"It would seem so," I replied as I finished with my task and stepped back to allow the doctor to begin his examination. Heero was exhausted and submitted easily to the doctor's probing. The Dr. Hutch, for his part, seemed to realize how tired the boy was and attempted to make his exam quick but thorough.

"It would seem that buying the Shinigami is merely asking for trouble," he said to me as he shined a light into Heero's eyes.

"I suppose, but I don't quite think that Shinigami is beyond redemption. Ornery, and certainly a pain in the ass, but not bad enough to warrant the death penalty," I told him. Of course, that was only part of the reason I had taken him. Beyond that, he had also formed some kind of bond with Heero, and I hesitated to let that bond slip away, for Heero seemed to be shy and unable to connect with most of his peers in a friendly way. Everything was business to Heero, and everything was a game to Duo, so perhaps they could learn from each other. And, on the off chance that they did learn, I might find myself with a highly prized slave who could potentially aide me in Collar. I doubted it, but it was worth a shot.

"Ah. And yet he is closer now than every before," he said, a hint of disapproval in his voice as he finished examining Heero's head and began to wash the gash on the side of his head. It stung, to have him so readily point out that I had failed my slaves once again.

"Yes, and I take responsibility for that, but I was not aware that the guards would be so cruel or bold," I said. The doctor nodded even as he picked up a spray and generously coated Heero's gash with it, then immediately began to stitch it up. Heero didn't even flinch, though, so either the spray had some kind of numbing effect or the day was catching up with him. Or a little of both.

"They are always cruel, but not so often bold. You may sue them for damage such as that done to your slave as long as you saw it, so they usually do small cruelties. Actually, we have to hand pick guards for the hospital to make sure they will not abuse patients," the doctor said, finishing the stitches and beginning to bandage his work. "You know that you caused quite a stir today, don't you?"

"Yes. I suppose there aren't many slaves that come in such a state."

"That wasn't it. We have bloodied slaves come through that door every day, but we never see a master walk through there."

"I don't understand. Why is it such a problem?" I wondered. What would a master want with an injured slave?

"Because the only time a slave is safe is when a master can't get to them, and the only time a master really can't get to a slave is when he doesn't know where it is. Slaves are merely pawns in the master's world, but by chance or by accident they can suddenly become important pawns. No master is supposed to know where the hospital wing is, because what's really to stop them from sending someone to kill that slave? What's to keep him from taking the slave before he's ready? They drive them so hard, with so few breaks and so little compassion, that half the slaves here are suffering mostly from exhaustion. We hid them here, and now there is no where to hide."

"You know I would never..." I protested, but he cut me off.

"I know, and I think that you'll keep the secret and keep from abusing this knowledge, but that is what they see. All they can see is the end of their sanctuary. Which is why I'm going to have to ask you to leave. You can take Angel with you as long as you wake him up every hour and make sure he takes the pills I give you, but Shinigami will have to stay."

"Obviously," I told him, rolling my eyes and a little annoyed, but in complete understanding of why he would throw me out. I was, after all, upsetting his patients, even if I didn't mean to. "But first I want to know Shinigami's condition, and I want you to call me every two hours with an update or any time anything changes."

"Alright, but I'm not going to sugar coat it for you. Shingami's in bad shape. They had to put in a tube to help him breath until the swelling in his throat goes down, and they can't get a good picture of his ribs but we're fairly sure they're cracked. They won't trying anything else until the swelling in his chest goes down so they can see what they're getting into. If the ribs are just cracked, we could do more damage by trying to fix them. He's listed as critical right now."

"I see," I said and was about to say more when Heero suddenly closed his eyes and began to tumble forward off the table. I cursed and caught him, laying him back down while the doctor jumped into action taking his medical signs.

"He's fainted," the doctor sighed after a minute. "I really can't let him go with you now. He'll have to stay over night for observation and probably a fluid drip to help him bounce back."

"Can you put him in a room with Shinigami?"

"Huh? Oh, sure, I guess."

"They're rather fond of each other. Heero might be able to keep Shini a little calmer," I said, looking down at Heero's swollen and emotionless face. I felt a pang, knowing I would leave him in just a few moments, but I knew he was in good hands with Dr. Hutch.. "But, other than that, please just take good care of them and call me if anything happens."

"I will. And, Zechs? Thank you for understanding. I'm sorry it has to be this way."

"It's more my fault than yours," I told him with a smile that didn't make me feel any better. "I was supposed to be watching them. I turned my eyes, and look what happened."

"You can't blame yourself."

"Ah, but I do. It was my job, after all," I told him, then headed for the door, knowing that if I waited much longer I would not have the guts to leave either of them again.

I can't remember the walk back to the apartment, just Trowa opening the door and leading me to the bathroom so I could wash Duo's blood off. I'm pretty sure I terrified Quatre, but I can't seem to remember the face he made when he saw me. Just his gasp of shock. I remember the phone calls the hospital made word for word, but they all said pretty much the same thing, "Heero is doing well, but Duo is still touch and go. We'll keep you posted." By the time they got Duo stabilized enough for me to dare to sleep it was well into the next day, and we were supposed to leave in only a few short hours. In the end I had to tell Trowa and Quatre to finish packing, answer the phone, and to wake me if there was any news about Duo or Heero. I went to sleep with the knowledge that our flight arrangements had yet to be made, but I managed to go to sleep, because I knew I'd be useless tomorrow if I didn't. And when I did finally sleep it was uneasy and restless, but I took what I could get, knowing the next few hours would be take all of my strength to get through.


	93. Heero 92

Once I knew for sure that Duo was safe and in the care of doctors who could help him, I let myself go. Perhaps it was not the best choice to let go while sitting up on the examining table, but I wasn't sure my strength would hold up long enough for me to lay down. Besides, I knew master would catch me.

When I next woke up I was in a hospital bed with an IV in my arm. Duo was in a bed next to mine, hooked up to several machines that seemed to be doing everything but sleeping for him, and he was probably only doing that because of the medicine in his IV. He was helpless, completely done in, and looked nearly dead. His eyes were sunken and his face was bruised, his long hair dirty and thrown into a haphazard ponytail to keep it away from the machinery. He was sleeping like the dead, which did less to comfort me than it should have.

"Finally awake, I see," someone said to my left, and I looked to find Dr. Hutch in the doorway. He was an understanding man, and I was glad that he had taken over my care and Duo's. Not that he was any more skilled than the other doctors, simply that he was less of a stickler for the rules than them. With a master like mine, there would have to be some exceptions, or he would drive himself crazy with worry.

"How long have I been out?" I asked, my voice scratchy and my throat dry.

"Several hours. We've been waking you every hour because of your concussion, but I don't think you were aware enough of your surroundings to remember."

"How is Shini?"

"Better. Still not quite stable, but he's doing better. The swelling in his throat he lessened somewhat and while he's not really showing improvement yet, he's not slipping away either. He needs rest right now, and time to heal."

"Where's Master?"

"I had to ask him to leave. He was upsetting the other slaves. However, Kitten asked if he could come see you they finished packing and I said it'd be alright."

"Packing? What day is it?"

"Tuesday."

"But... we have to be off of the satellite by tonight or it will be closed. How will we...?" I trailed, looking at Duo. It would be dangerous for him to travel, but he couldn't stay here. The satellite closed once the banquet was over and would open as a resort in a few weeks, once every room was carefully checked for signs of the station's true purpose.

"If he is not ready, we will keep him here until he is better, but your master will not be able to reclaim him until next year's banquet."

"And knowing Shinigami, he won't even be here by then," I said distastefully. If he didn't come with us now, we'd probably never see him again.

"Which is why if all goes well I will authorize him to leave with you as long as I am assured he will receive medical attention as soon as you get earthside. I'm not as crazy as your master, I don't want the responsibility for Shinigami on my shoulders, or the blame if he should happen to get away."

"I understand," I told him, relaxing against the pillows. "What are his chances of successfully making it to Earth?"

"About as good as his chances of surviving here, honestly. Maybe better, if he gets top notch care on the ground. We have a lot of good doctors here, but we're really not equipped to take care of this kind of beating. Broken bones and gashes, yes, but internal bleeding, punctured lungs, and a collapsed windpipe? No. It's rare to see a beating of this caliber, and rarer yet for the slave to survive."

"He'll survive," I assured him, a smirk on my face as I closed my eyes. "He is Shinigami."

"That he is. Now, why don't you go back to sleep? You're all clear of the concussion, so we won't have to wake you every hour, and I'm sure you could use some real rest," he said, then departed. I fell asleep again before he was even out the door.

The next time I awoke, it wasn't Quatre sitting with me, but Master.

"Isn't Quatre coming?" I wondered, in a nearly lucid manner.

"What kind of greeting is that?" Master asked playfully.

"Uh... I'm sorry," I mumbled, blushing. Master only laughed.

"Quatre was here earlier, but you slept right through his visit. It's alright, though, because he couldn't be here long anyway. We've been quite busy lately, trying to arrange transport for Duo and the rest of us," he told me, a tiny, goofy smile on his face. I thought, for a moment, that perhaps that I was seeing it wrong, but looking closer I found that the problem was not with myself, but with Master. His eyes were sunken with deep, dark bags under them, and his face was looking almost gaunt and haggard. I had watched the constant parties and social pressures of Collar wear at him, but never had I seen him this bad. It seemed that our hospital stay had caused him to worsen drastically over night, and I could only hope, as I had with the pressures of Collar, that being home would cure him. And now it was even more desperate that we get home, for I wasn't certain how much more of this Master could take.

"How will we transport Duo?" I wondered, glancing at the bed, where he seemed no better than he had been.

"I've chartered a private shuttle and purchased the same equipment that the hospital is using on him now. It's being installed, but should be finished by this evening. Once we land an ambulance will meet us to take Duo to an earthside hospital for proper treatment. The rest of you will be transported to a secure location."

"The house."

"Uh..."

"What is it?" I wondered, his hesitation causing me to become nervous. "Aren't we... aren't we all going to the same place?" I wondered. I didn't want to separate from any of the others, not when we were so close to being whole.

"No... That's not it... It's just that... the villa is so tiny. I've been thinking a lot about it and it's really not big enough for five teenage boys, and there's very little to keep all of you occupied."

"So what are you going to do?" I wondered tentatively.

"I... I mean... It's not like that's the only house I have. There's one farther to the west that's just had the house completely redone. The barn needs some work, but it's got lots of ground. And the house is state of the art, though the pool is a bit smaller than the last one. Of course, if we're looking for a bigger pool there's always the one in..."

"Master," I interrupted, trying to stay awake as he rambled on. "I don't really care about the house, as long as we're all together. The villa was nice, but it was only the people in it that made it nice. I'm sure whatever house you choose will be fine."

"The west house is closer to the hospital where Duo will be treated."

"Then we should go there," I said with a yawn. "How long until we leave?"

"A few hours. Go back to sleep while you can. I'm sure you'll be too sore to sleep once they take you off those painkillers," he said, and that brought me awake.

"Painkillers?"

"Mm-hm. I okayed them to let you sleep. They've been going into your IV since you got here, both to help you rest and to bring down the swelling."

"I... wish you would have told me," I said slowly. To have something put into my body that I was unaware of made me... unnerved. Suspicious. Scared.

"Why? I made sure it wasn't anything detrimental, there was no reason to concern you about it."

"Still..."

"Heero, I'm still your master," he said, his tone serious. "There may be times that I okay things like this without your permission. You'll simply have to accept that," he said, then smiled brightly, if only for my behalf. "So don't worry so much," he said as he rose from his chair and headed to the door. "I won't let anything happen to you. Never again."


	94. Wufei 93

I arrived to chaos. Oh, it was a quiet chaos, but chaos none the less. The slave's quarters were completely packed, along with everything in the slave's bathroom, but the master bedroom still had personal items scattered haphazardly everywhere, and the master bathroom was untouched. No one person's belongings were in any of the suitcases, and it was impossible to tell which room any suitcase came out of. Quatre and Trowa, meanwhile, were debating whether it was more important to pack, to find Zechs' clothes, which had all accidentally been packed, to wake Zechs, or to make flight arrangements themselves.

I took things in hand. It wasn't a hard decision to make, not with Quatre and Trowa looking so worried and strained. With precious few hours left before the station closed, I knew we had to move quickly.

I put Quatre to the task of reorganizing the suitcases so that we could find something if need be. Trowa I sent to round up all the stray items that had been left behind. Which is when I realized that we were missing two of four slaves that had previously been in residence.

"Where are Heero and Duo?" I wondered. Quatre stopped in his packing, his hands hovering over the items he had so swiftly been arranging.

"Haven't you heard?" he asked quietly, his voice barely above a whisper.

"Heard what?"

"They... They got hurt. The guards that were watching Duo... They tried to do something, and there was a fight. They're both in the hospital. Duo's in critical condition."

An icy rage stole through me at the thought of two of my companions at the hands of merciless bruits, but, as many times before, I could only let it run it's course. There was nothing I could do about it, even if I had been there. I had taught myself, out of necessity, to let the rage course through me and then to release it. To keep from feeling it would deaden me inside, and to hold it within would probably kill me. I had to let it go.

Taking a few breaths to steady myself, I asked fairly calmly, "What steps has Master Zechs taken in retribution?"

"I know he ran them off when he found them. He probably hurt the guards pretty badly, knowing how upset he gets when one of us is hurt."

"No, I mean what grievances did he file? Did he not take legal action?"

"I... I don't know. I don't think so," Quatre admitted quietly.

"He hasn't had time for any of that," Trowa informed me, bringing an armful of items for Quatre to pack away. "With Heero and Duo in such states Master hasn't done anything but worry about them and consult with doctors and technicians about getting Duo to the ground."

"I will have to speak to him of this matter," I told them.

"Oh, Wufei, don't!" Quatre implored, taking my wrist in his small hand. "He only just got to sleep a few hours ago and he's had such a terribly hard day. Can't we let him sleep just a little longer?"

"I wish we could, but if the grievance isn't filed before the guards leave the station we will probably never find them."

"Someone should have told me this earlier," Master Zechs said, leaning against the kitchen doorframe and still rubbing his eyes from sleep. It was obvious from his unkept hair and unshaven face that he had just awakened, probably from the sounds of our voices. "I have to check on the flight arrangements anyway, so I'll just make the call when I do it. I think I need a shower first, though, and a cup of coffee would be insanely appreciated," he said, before trudging back toward master bedroom for his shower. I could see why Quatre didn't want me to wake him, for the man looked like hell. I could barely imagine what strain the last two days must have put on him to sink him to this level.

But, even in such a weakened state, Zechs was still formidable, and I had to swallow hard before I could dig up the courage to face him in private. It didn't help that I could hear him taking his clothes off in the other room. I was grateful that neither of the other slaves questioned me as I followed Zechs into the bedroom.

But Zechs was not in the bedroom, and I was again grateful to hear the sound of running water, meaning he had already gotten into the shower. Thus, when I followed him into the bathroom, there was a solid wall of glass between us, and the fog impaired my vision of what would otherwise be a very nude master. I cleared my throat, and Zechs looked up, surprised, from washing his hair.

"Wufei? What in the world are you doing in here? Is something wrong?"

"No, of course not. I merely wanted to..."

"Yes?"

"I wanted to tell you the Owner's response."

"Response?"

"Yes, to your inquiry. Your inquiry about me."

"Oh, about having you play for us at Collar. Did he turn me down?"

"N-not exactly."

"What then?"

"Well... he cited his earlier promise. The promise that said any master who could bed me could have me as their own."

"Oh. I see," he said, becoming very still within the bath. He seemed to deeply consider his options, and it was a long time before he spoke again. "We have six months before anything must actually be... consummated. We can worry about this more at a later date. For now... For now we will run under the assumption that you will belong to me at the beginning of Collar, understand?"

"Yes, sir," I replied, greatly relieved. I had been almost sure Zechs wouldn't try anything right away, and he hadn't looked like he had the energy for anything of that nature, but somehow I had still been worried that he would want... immediate consummation. I was not a very... consumptive person, I suppose.

"Oh, Wufei?"

"Yes?"

"If you're not too busy, could you call the shuttle for me and find out if everything's finished? I'm terribly busy at the moment, and it would be a big help. The number is on the refrigerator."

"Of course," I said, then bowed and left. Even though that was off my chest, there was really no time to slow down. There were still many things to do, and I would have plenty of time to rest on the ground.


	95. Heero 94

I was getting tired of the drugs in my system. More specifically, I was getting tired of the long lapses in consciousness these drugs caused. When I went to sleep, the doctor had yet to decide if he would allow Duo to travel, and by the time I woke up he had already been loaded into the plane. We still had about an hour to takeoff, and the doctor said that they wanted to make sure Duo would stabilize before they took off, but it still unnerved me that all this had happened while I was asleep. I couldn't help but wonder what else I had missed.

Of course, Wufei was back as well, but I had known he was coming, so it wasn't such a shock. I was glad to note, as they wheeled me on the shuttle and secured me next to Duo, that Wufei seemed to be lending Master the support he needed. I was not able to help him myself, and was glad to see that someone else had stepped in to fill the job.

Liftoff was rough, and Duo's vitals became somewhat unstable, but quickly settled as we moved out of the satellite's gravity. It was Master who I thought might need medical attention, for he nearly had a melt down when Duo's monitors went off. Sometimes, I wondered if he didn't care too much, but it was better to have a Master who cared too much that one that didn't care at all.

Sometime during the long ride from the satellite to Earth, Duo woke up. I saw his eyes open and mover leerily around the cabin, then to finally settled on me. He relaxed the tiniest bit, and extended his fingers, the only thing he could move, out to me. His neck was swollen from the strangulation he'd had, and there was a tube in his throat to keep him breathing, so he could not call out to me. Still, his eyes called to me, and I took his hand in mine. He smiled, then closed his eyes in sleep. I rubbed his fingers, held gently in my own, and contemplated his face, before finally noticing Master standing behind me, smiling sagely at our actions. Somehow, Master was always three steps ahead of me, even when it came to puzzles within myself.

I couldn't be with Duo all the time, though. Even I knew that I'd have to leave to use the bathroom, but Master was adamant that there was someone watching him at all times, so Wufei, Quatre, and Trowa took shifts. Master forbid me from watching Duo alone because I was just out of the hospital, and I didn't push him when he commented that he was three steps from assigning someone to watch me. And, of course, Master had been adamant that he take the longest shift, but Wufei had put his foot down and sent him off to bed.

"You're no good to any of us if you're too tired to be lucid!" he huffed, physically pushing Master toward the ship's small quarters which contained six narrow bunk-beds. But I had little doubted Master would have trouble sleeping, for he was practically dead on his feet. I was glad that Wufei had managed to get Master to take care of himself.

I was less than thrilled, however, when Wufei came back and demanded that I and the other two also go to sleep. Quatre, who had earlier slept late because, much to his consternation, Trowa refused to wake him, managed to wheedle Wufei into letting him stay up, but Trowa and I were sternly ushered into sleeping quarters and I was warned not to come out in the next six hours.

But I could really only huff, because I knew Wufei was right. I myself still felt the strain of injuries on my body, and I had been assured that they would looked worse than the felt. I caught Trowa smirking as I glared at the door and had the sudden inclination that he wouldn't be in here long after I was asleep. He probably only came in to be sure I went to sleep.

But how could I really get angry with them? After all, they were doing more work so that I would be better taken care of. How could I get mad at any of them? And, knowing that I couldn't get mad, I sighed, changed my clothes, and went to bed. Before my head his the pillow, I was out.

I didn't wake again until a few hours before landing, which meant I probably slept nearly twenty hours. But this, of course, was due mainly to the fact that my body was still dealing with the drugs injected into me just the day before, along with the trauma I suffered. Which is why it worried me so to find Master still sound asleep.

"Hasn't he woke up at all?" I asked anxiously, concerned that the stress might have done something to him.

"No, but I wouldn't worry," Quatre told me. "Wufei slipped him a sleeping pill, just a mild one of course, but we think it might have been unnecessary. And so, he sleeps. Still, I'm sure he could use the rest. He was looking pretty awful near the end of our stay."

I nodded in agreement, then took up a chair on the other side of Duo's bed. Quatre told me that Duo had been sleeping soundly off and on for the past few hours, and had even woken up enough to look around the room.

"He'll get the very best care once we're on the ground," Quatre assured, though I already knew it. "I just know he'll be better in no time."

I could only hope for the same.

Master woke up half an hour before descent, looking refreshed and better than he had in days. He was in bright spirits, and tousled Quatre's hair before going to the helm to see how the flight was progressing.

I was about to ask Quatre for something to eat, when I noticed Duo's eyes were open and staring at me, his hand once again outstretched. I smiled at him, hoping to chase the fear from his eyes, and took his hand, sitting down beside him in the seat Trowa vacated for me.

"Hey Duo," I said softly, stroking his bangs from his forehead. "We'll be on the ground in a little while, and you'll be back to the hospital where you belong."

I could only assume Duo heard me, but he did smile as he closed his eyes and went back to sleep, so I was pretty sure it was more than just wistful thinking.

Quatre brought me a sandwich, and I ate it without ever realizing what kind it was. There was a drink, too, and I think it might have been some kind of soda, because I vaguely remember the fizz. I'm pretty sure a good amount of time passed in silence, but it went like a blur. Master returned, still in high spirits, and sat down beside me. Then, the next thing I knew, we were descending.

I gripped Duo's hand in my own, not because I was scared, but because I was afraid he'd become frightened and have some sort of attack. But, for or despite my help, Duo remained calmly asleep as we headed downward and even as we depressurized. It was only when we began to move him onto the moving bed that he awoke. I think he must have been confused and tried to call out to me, because he suddenly started shaking and reached his hand toward his throat. I went for him, but Master was faster, and quickly unstrapped him and turned him to his side, then held him steady as his breathing slowly regulated. When Master turned him back, he was pale and sweaty, his eyes muddled and confused. I took his hand, hoping to console him, but had to step back as Master and the others worked to transfer him to the other bed. Then they wheeled him out of the shuttle, hurrying to get him to the hospital, and into an ambulance. I made to follow, but Master stepped in my path.

"You and the others will ride in the van," he instructed, pointing to a plain black van.

"Where will we meet you?" I asked, knowing Master would ride with Duo in the ambulance.

"I'll meet up with you at the house later. Wufei has my cell number. Call if you need anything."

"But..."

"I have to go, Heero," Master said, already heading toward the ambulance. "You'll be fine, and I'll keep an eye on Duo. Don't fight over the rooms. Goodbye," he said, just before the ambulance door was slammed shut. In the next moment, they were speeding away.

I think, if I had been alone, I might have cried. The emotions Master had allowed me to get in touch with permitted that, but common sense would not allow me to be so weak in front of others who I did not yet trust completely. So, instead, I hardened my heart and climbed silently into the van, uncertain if I would ever see Duo again. I know Quatre tried to make small talk with me, but I ignore him, unable to focus on his words, only thinking of Duo and if he was alright. What if he panicked again? Who would calm him? Who would hold his hand?

But there was nothing I could do. We were quickly approaching our new "home" and, with no way to return, I had no choice but to wait for Master and news of Duo.


	96. Zechs 95

Alright, I just can't seem to keep up with posting this story and doing college work. So we're going to go back to posting a bunch of chapters once a month. Please, please, please review, and it would be best if you reviewed every chapter. I need to know what you all like and dislike. But, anyway, enjoy, but remember that I'm not going to post again until next month. Sorry, but I'm trying.

The ambulance didn't have to turn its lights on for Duo, but it certainly didn't go the speed limit. But then, what cop would pull over an ambulance? And I knew the man behind the wheel was capable, and his partner seemed just as reliable as he tended to Duo. Still, I was anxious to get my slave to the hospital and into Sally's hands.

This operation, as with most covert operations, was painfully complicated, but with good reason. The only reason I was admitted to Collar was because of my background, my wealth, and because I had no visible connection with Preventers. I was, more or less, a spy. And, because I could not have any visible connection with Preventers, only those undercover agents who were not known to be from Preventers and those who only had a known passing association with Preventers were allowed on the case. The agents who surrounded and guarded myself and the boys had no backgrounds and no way to identify them. They had changed names months ago, changed their looks, and joined my staff. Sally, who had worked briefly for Preventers, had put in for a transfer to a private hospital that I frequented. But she and I had been friends for a long time, so it wouldn't seem unusual for me to trust her. Even the men who had remodeled the house had been specially selected by Preventers before my staff could contact them with the details of the project. It all had to be done quietly, secretly, and stealthily.

As Duo's eyes opened and he looked anxiously around, I could only wish Heero were around. But I knew he could not be, because I could not risk that kind of exposure to him. It was imperative that no one asked questions about them, and the safest way to keep that from happening was to keep them hidden. If some haphazard journalist should take a snapshot of them and start asking questions about their backgrounds, the results could be disastrous. I wasn't like the corrupt officials who could pay off or assassinate those who got in their way. On a mission of this importance, the utmost caution was taken.

Still, I knew Heero could have vanquished the nervousness from Duo's features in a heartbeat and put him right back to sleep. I, on the other had, was uncertain if my presence would calm him or panic him. We didn't have what you would call a solid relationship, he and I. But I had to do something, so I leaned into his range of vision and waved my hand, hoping to get his attention without startling him. His eyes jumped to me, and I could see him trying to swallow around the awkward tube in his throat.

"We'll be at the hospital in a few minutes," I told him calmly. He nodded, which was really the only thing he could do at the time, then looked around pointedly. "Heero couldn't come with us. I had to send him to the house with the others. You'll see him in a few days, when you get out of the hospital." At this, Duo glared pointedly at me. "There's no use getting angry. It was too risky to let Heero come, and, anyway, Heero doesn't do well with crowds. You wouldn't want him to get hurt, now would you?" I asked. Duo tried to stay mad, but, whether due to conscience or exhaustion, he soon lost the strength needed for a proper glare and settled on giving me a huffy mope. It was actually kind of cute, and I smiled and shifted his bangs away from his eyes. I'd have to remember to tell Sally not to cut his hair, or she would be likely to shave his head instead of dealing with that mop. Sally was too straightforward to deal with anyone but soldiers, but she was one hell of a medic. She could fix anyone with rubber bands, horse hair, and a pint of vodka.

I sighed as Duo began to fall back to sleep. We were out of the woods now, but the worst was far from over. Now was simply the calm before the storm, while Duo rested from the trip and Sally waited, impatiently, for hospital staff to clear out so she could send Duo for the myriad of tests she would undeniably want done. Of course, Duo was under the same restraints as Heero in that I needed him to be seen by the least amount of people possible. Then, once the hospital was clear, would come operations, medication, and a possibly extended stay in the hospital. Finally, once he was home, there would still be medications and therapy sessions for months, possibly up until we returned to Collar. So, while I was extremely optimistic about Duo's recovery, I knew just what a long a rocky road we would be on.

But, really, I was faced with the same road for all of the boys. Slavery was a disease, and it had infected them, and now it was up to me to make them better. They had been stripped of any sense of self, stripped of a sense of play, stripped of choice. All that they understood was money, power, looks, and sex. It wouldn't be easy or quicky to take that out of them, but it was my responsibility to do so.

So, it seemed I was at a sort of paradox. For it was my mission to make them better slaves, in order to win Collar and destroy the practice of human slavery. On the other hand, could I fight enslavement, while allowing those closest to me to be enslaved? Would I be worthy of the position I held, if I could stand such injustice even for a moment longer? I would make them my companions, my soldiers, and my lovers, but I would not enslave them. I could not.

But they would never know, at least not until it was too late. What would happen after Collar was something that I would prepare the boys for, but I could not prepare myself. I would attempt to normalize them, with hopes that they would survive this battle, but I could not plan. To plan for a normal life with them, only to have one of them die, would certainly undo me. Already I was too close to them, and were this a normal mission I would remove myself at once, but it was not a normal mission, and abnormal tactics were required.

Duo would be the hardest to teach, if he were teachable at all. He was both afraid and angry when it came to me, and there was nothing I could do to completely alleviate these feelings. He needed to be somewhat afraid of me, afraid of the punishments I could give him. Not terrified, of course, but all good soldiers were somewhat afraid of their commander. It kept them in line and on their toes, respectful and alert. And I couldn't very well expect him not to be angry with me, for I was almost angry at myself. I was his master, his overlord, and his jailer. Without blowing my cover I could not change his perspective of me in that sense. I could only hope that the other slaves, especially Heero, could convince Duo that not all masters were bad. Just most... Almost all of them... All except one. And sometimes, I wasn't certain about myself either, for how easily I could stumble and become a monster like the others. How fragile each of the boys were in some ways, yet like tempered steel in others. Heero's determination, Duo's spirit, Quatre's sympathy, Trowa's gentleness, Wufei's pride. A thousand pounds of weight had been put on each of their shoulders and they had survived, and yet I knew I could break them in a heartbeat.

"You seem deep in thought," Sally said, a small grin on her face as I jumped. I had been thinking so deeply that I hadn't noticed her come in.

"Just thinking of what a long road it will be with him," I replied, and her grin faded at once.

"We'll know just how long a road in a few hours. I really want to get his chest x-rayed and see what the damage is. He hasn't been coughing up blood lately, has he?"

"When he was first injured he did, but I think he suffered some minor strangulation, so there might have been some damage to his throat."

"Hm. I'll have to take a thorough look."

"With the camera?"

"No, I have x-ray vision. Yes, with the camera."

"He won't like that. Having someone stick a tiny camera down your throat is bad enough, but Duo is also afraid of suffocation."

"He's not going to suffocate."

"I have no fear of that, but I am afraid he'll struggle."

"We'll see. When he wakes up I'll explain it to him, and if he seems too upset we'll sedate him, but I'd really rather not. There's no need to put extra drugs in his system if we can avoid it. But it doesn't really matter right now. We'll have to get his chest x-rayed first, and then we'll go from there. I have to fix his lungs before I can worry about his throat."

"Is there anything I can do?"

"For now, just brief him about what we'll be doing. I'm sure you know about chest x-rays and I'd rather not waste time explaining it to him if I don't have to. Other than that, just try to keep him calm, and don't let him pull out that tube. There's no way I can know, but it might be the only thing that's keeping him breathing. We're lowering drugs he's being given as well, since it seems the doctor put him on a higher dose to keep him calm on the plane. Hopefully he'll be a bit more lucid now."

"Any pain?"

"There shouldn't be much, if any. I can't guarantee complete comfort, but if he seems too bothered we'll give him something stronger."

"Alright then. I'll make sure he knows about the x-ray procedures."

"See that you do. Now, I'm off to harass some employees into taking the night off early."

I smiled as Sally left, knowing that she would do exactly as she had promised. Still, the smile faded quickly. It was hard to feel happy with Duo so badly hurt. There hadn't been much love lost between us, but he was still one of my boys. It had been my job to protect him, and I had failed.

It wasn't long before Duo woke up, and he did seem more lucid, though I couldn't tell exactly how lucid without his voice, for we had only really ever interacted through the exchange of barbs and punishment. Heero would have been able to tell instantly what Duo's condition was just by looking at his eyes, but I already knew the reasons Heero could not be present. So I would have to take it upon myself to care for Duo.

"Are you awake?" I asked, wondering from his glazed eyes if he might not be truly conscious. At my words, though, his eyes cleared and focused on me, so I knew he was now, if not before, conscious.

"Don't try to talk," I warned him quickly, knowing how effortlessly the boy before me could speak. "You still have a tube down your throat and we can't remove it until after your x-ray. So, first I want to ask you some questions, and you can squeeze my hand once for yes and twice for no," I said, and reached to take his hand. He, however, had different ideas, and pulled his hand away before I could touch it. This annoyed me, mainly because I was trying to help him but also because it showed he still didn't trust me. Still, looking in his eyes I saw almost a sheepish kind of nervousness. It seemed almost like he was embarrassed about it. In any case, I decided to let it go, mainly because it wouldn't do any good to get upset at a sick person.

"Alright, then, how about one finger for yes and two for no. Can you do that?" I asked. In response Duo extended one finger. I had to look down at his hand, because he was not yet strong enough to lift it, but it seemed a clear and deliberate movement, so I decided it would be alright to proceed.

"Firstly, are you in any pain?" I asked. His hand went back into a ball and then he again extended one finger.

"Is it more than you can handle?"

Two fingers. No.

"Is there any particular place that hurts?"

One finger.

"Is it your chest?"

One finger.

"Is there any where else that hurts significantly?"

Two fingers.

"Have you ever had an x-ray before?"

At this, Duo hesitated, then held up a completely open palm. Either he didn't understand the question or, more likely, he didn't know if he'd ever had an x-ray done before. I doubted the doctors at Collar, as good as they were, had followed proper hospital procedure when working on their patients.

"Have you ever had a broken bone?" I asked instead.

One finger.

"Do you remember how they took pictures of the bone to see that it was broken?"

One finger.

"Have you ever broken a bone in your chest?"

Duo started to put out two fingers, then abruptly stopped, hesitated for a moment, then opened his palm. I wondered at it for a moment, but it wasn't hard to see what he probably meant based on his treatment at Collar. He may very well have broken ribs, but it was unlikely his masters would have let him be treated for it.

"Has a doctor ever looked at your chest to see if you had broken a bone?"

A solid two fingers, which wasn't technically true. The doctors at Collar had done an x-ray on his chest, but he probably hadn't been conscious. Still, their equipment hadn't managed to see anything through the swelling anyway, which was the main reason for this second x-ray.

"Alright then, can you listen while I explain the procedure?" I asked him. I received one finger in response, but it was the middle finger. Duo must be feeling better.

"The first thing they'll do is to inject an ink into your I.V. It won't hurt you, but it will make the x-rays more visible. Then comes the worst part; they'll have to wheel you down the hall and transfer you to another bed. You may feel pretty good now, but there aren't a whole lot of drugs strong enough to touch pain when you're moving, and Sally's got a rule about whining. The good news is once you're on the table they just have to turn on the machine, you'll hear a bunch of clicks, and then it's over. Honestly, the worst part is going to be getting you down there and back."

Duo seemed to ponder that for a moment, blinking lethargically, then took his hand and deliberately pointed toward his throat.

"No, I don't know when they're going to take that out, but I'm sure it won't be until after the x-ray, so don't play with it."

He pouted as well as he could given the circumstances, but our "talk" had exhausted him and his eyes began to slip shut. In a few moment he was sound asleep. Feeling like a weight had been lifted from my chest, I decided to get a coffee. I was quick about it, despite my sudden surge in confidence for Duo's condition, because even seeing that he was improving could not totally wipe out the fear that I would fail him again.

The x-rays went well, despite all the machinery and tubes Duo had been hooked up to. It was, as I had promised, somewhat painful for Duo, though Sally and I attempted to make it as comfortable as possible. Once it was over, I returned with Duo to his room while Sally went to develop the pictures. Duo, upon arriving, fell immediately asleep, and I was left to wait anxiously for Sally.

"Well, let's see what we've got," she pronounced, barging in and hanging the pictures on the light screen, just as anxious as I was to see what had been dome to him. She flicked the light on and we each spent a moment examining the damaged torso in front of us.

"Isn't that strange?" Sally wondered. "None of his ribs have broken, but his left lung collapsed."

"Not so strange, considering that amount of damage done to his chest. More strange is the fact that his ribs didn't break under that much stress. But we should have known it was the lung."

"Ah yes, because it would be so easy to see a small lowered spot and a slightly blue tint under the large swollen spot and blatantly purple section."

"I suppose you're right. Still, if that's all the damage this really won't be as bad as we thought."

"There's still a long track ahead of him, but granting that the operation to get his lung inflated goes well and we can repair the damage to his throat, it won't be nearly as long a road as previously suspected."

"When will you operate?"

"Tomorrow morning. I can't do a procedure like this alone and you aren't cleared to help me. So, until then, you should go home. I'm sure your other boys need you."

"I think I should stay," I told her, leaning over the rail of the bed to look at Duo's bruised face.

"Here isn't like there. He's no safer anywhere else in the world than he is here. There's a security camera in his room, and two guards and three nurses watching him at all times. He'll be fine. Besides, you can't leave the others alone the entire time he's in the hospital."

"I suppose you're right," I said, and with one last look at Duo, I headed out, knowing there would only be more problems to deal with once I got home.

When had my life gotten so complicated?


	97. Quatre 96

The house was... homey. More so than any of the mansion I had lived in or the expensive cottages I had stayed at. Or, perhaps, I merely appreciated it more because I had been without a home for so long. Whatever the reason, I thought it was probably the best home I'd ever seen, though I had to admit I was probably bias.

It was old, ancient even, but not in any state of disrepair. It seemed like a sturdy oak, which only grew stronger with time. There were pillars in front of the door, and stairs leading up to it, giving the house a regal feeling. But the part that still struck me the most was its age. The house seemed almost... wise.

It was massive, too, three stories high with a balcony on the third story. I had yet to go inside, but it seemed almost as wide as it was tall. And the grounds were huge as well, from what I could see. The estate was surrounded in dense forest, so I could only assume that the cleared ground was yard. I wondered how far into the forest the grounds extended. It wasn't uncommon for a master to buy all the ground around their estate to keep nosey neighbors from moving in.

"Zechs has asked me to show you all to the house, and then you're on your own until he gets back," the driver informed. He was older than master, but still pretty young. He had a relaxed air about him, although it felt to me that he was also very serious about his duties. Still, he seemed genuinely nice. And, because I of my empathy, I was pretty sure of myself when it came to knowing people.

"Do you work for Master Zechs?" I wondered, causing the driver to look at me as he turned off the car.

"Not exactly. I work for Zechs'... business. He called ahead to tell us he would be moving to this location, so we made sure the house was up to code. It's a pretty neat place, I think you'll like it. We've installed some things to help you train for your... competition."

"I know you," Heero blurted suddenly as we all began to exit the van. "You're the same person who drove on the first day I came to master."

"Uh..." the man hesitated. "Yes, I am."

"But why did you come so far?"

"Well... Zechs is very particular about who knows about you boys, as I'm sure you can understand. You're not likely see many new faces around this place, except for maybe some teachers."

"Teachers?" Wufei wondered as he climbed out of the van.

"Zechs mentioned getting some tutors to train you for Collar once he found out what the tasks would be. Anyway, to your left will be the den, and to your right the kitchen. Now, your luggage will arrive once it's been unloaded from the plane, so until then you'll just have to entertain yourselves. Zechs will be back later this evening, and you can dial one on any phone if you need something."

"When will Duo come?" Heero asked, his face gloomy and pinched with worry, though if you didn't know him you wouldn't be able to tell.

"They'll be keeping him at the hospital until Sally releases him. Other than that, I couldn't say. All I can tell you is Sally's the best, and your friend is in good hands with her."

"What should we do in the mean time?" Wufei asked.

"Just explore, I guess. As long as you don't go outside of the grounds you can do whatever you want. Just don't break anything. Oh, and don't fight, either. I'm sure Zechs wouldn't be pleased if you did. Now, if there are no more questions, I'll be leaving. There's food in the kitchen and, as I said, if you need something just dial one on any phone."

And with that he got back into the car and drove away, leaving the four of us staring at the huge house in front of us and wondering what to do.

Wufei moved first, opening the front door and stepping inside. Heero followed next, then myself. Only Trowa hesitated on porch. I turned, wondering what was keeping him, only to find him looking upwards.

"Trowa?" I wondered.

"There's a balcony on the third floor," he answered cryptically. "I'm sure the view is beautiful. Do you think...?" he trailed, staring at it with longing.

"Well, the man did say to explore," I replied bravely. "Let's go find it."

The stairs were all the way in the back of the house. We tiptoed to them like thieves, as though the house was not our home. Wufei was in the kitchen preparing tea, and Heero was in the backyard already, looking for something or another, so Trowa and I were alone as we ascended the steps. The upstairs was ghostly silent, compiled of two halls that intersected in a slightly off center T. There was another set of stairs right across from the first. The one we were on led from the first floor to the second, while the other seemed to lead from the second to the third. We didn't stop to look at the many rooms on the second floor, too intent on our quest to find the balcony.

At the top of the next set of stairs we encountered a huge, gothic library. At the end of the library was a pair of french doors, and beyond them the balcony. Trowa set off immediately for the balcony, while I hesitated a moment to look around the library. I took a deep breath, smelling the dry, musty scent of books and knowledge. It had been a long time since I had been given the luxury of being in a library and not being naked, chained, in pain, or any combination of the three.

But I only spent a moment enjoying the library, because Trowa was waiting on the balcony and I was eager to join him. There was something kindred between us, something that attracted us to each other, but neither of us had been able to delve further into the relationship because of the others. Now, in this big house, almost completely alone, I hoped we could at least talk. I wanted to know more about the mysterious boy who had so captivated me.

Trowa was already outside on the balcony, leaning on the rail and letting the wind tousle his long bangs. His closed his vibrant green eyes as the wind caressed his face, the gentle summer breeze bringing a smile to his face. I paused at the sight, longing to see that smile more often. He sensed my presence and opened his eyes, turning that soft grin to me. It brought a smile to my own face as I stepped out beside him.

But, as I went to cross the threshold from the library, a sudden wave of vertigo overcame me and I nearly fell, managing just barely not to stumble. I reached out, my hand grabbed the rail in a strong grip, and the wave of vertigo passed. I quickly looked over at Trowa to see that he had looked away, luckily missing my slip. I took a deep breath and the vertigo quickly passed, and I could only wonder what had caused it.

Trowa and I spent a few moments in silence. He contemplated the surrounding grounds while I tried to get my bearings from that sudden onslaught of my senses. The vertigo was gone, but it had left me feeling queasy, lightheaded, and generally ill. But I didn't want to cause problems, not for Trowa, not for Master, and especially not so soon. Duo was in the hospital, and my pain certainly didn't compare to that.

"It's peaceful here, don't you think?" Trowa asked, his quiet voice ringing in the silence.

"Huh? Oh... uh, yeah, it's great," I replied, unable to focus through the scattered feeling in my head.

"Quatre? Are you alright?" he wondered, turning to me.

"Yeah, I'm fine," I said quickly, swallowing the bile that rose in my throat.

"Oh. Alright. When do you think Master will be back?" he wondered.

"Um... I don't know," I admitted, fighting not to pant. My stomach was rolling and I just wanted to sit down, but I didn't want Trowa to think I didn't want to be around him, so I took slow deliberate breaths and thanked my lucky stars that he wasn't looking at me.

"I hope we stay here for a long time," Trowa commented, staring out over the landscape.

Meanwhile, I was still feeling terrible. I held my breath and counted to ten, but all I managed to do was make myself dizzy. I took a slow breath and closed my eyes, leaning against the railing heavily. I thought, for a moment, that I might be okay, because my head began to clear, but my knees suddenly gave out and I knew I was done.

"Quatre!" Trowa gasped, hurrying over to kneel beside me. "What happened?"

"I don't feel so good," I admitted, biting my lip as tears came to my eyes.

"Alright," Trowa said, his voice forced calm though I could tell how upset he really was. "Do you think you can stand?" he asked. I nodded, biting my lip and hoping I didn't throw up. I grabbed the railing and tried to pull myself up, but it took Trowa helping on the other side to get me on my feet, and even then I was wobbly. I felt incredibly weak, so much so that I had to lean on Trowa while I walked.

"Here, sit down," Trowa said, propelling me to one of the couches in the library. I moaned in pain as I sat, the movement causing my stomach to lurch. "Alright, just stay here," Trowa said as he darted to the door and yelled for Wufei. I wanted to tell him to stop, but I was just too sick.

I leaned on the arm of the couch, putting my head down on my hands as I wished today had gone better. I heard the sound of approaching footsteps and looked up to see Wufei and Trowa returning, the former looking worried and the latter looking close to panic.

"What's wrong?" Wufei asked, his brown eyes looking over me and taking everything in.

"I think I'm sick," I told him sorrowfully.

"I can see that," he replied, smiling. "Can you tell me why?" he asked, reaching out to touch my forehead.

"No. I just suddenly got dizzy when I went out on the porch. I tried to ignore it, but then my stomach got upset and I got this terrible headache, and then I fell," I replied as he lowered his hand, a frown on his face.

"No fever... When's the last time you ate?"

"Um... On the plane, I think," I told him.

"No," Trowa contradicted, "You said you were too upset to eat on the plane, because of Duo. Remember?"

"Oh. Well, then it must have been the day before," I tried again.

"Neither of you ate the day before," Wufei cut in. "You were both too busy with packing to worry about eating," he reminded us as he tilted my head back to peer in my eyes.

"So what's wrong with him?" Trowa asked as Wufei finished.

"I'm not a doctor, but my best guess would be stress. I'll make some tea and toast, and with a little rest he should be fine. Just put him to bed in one of the guest rooms downstairs. If you can keep an eye on him tonight I'll be sure to tell Master Zechs what happened when he gets home, but I don't think it will be anything to worry about, alright?" he asked. We both nodded and Wufei turned to the stairs but halted just before he reached them. "Oh, and Trowa? You had better carry him down. We don't want him to get dizzy and fall going down the stairs," he said, then descended out of sight.

I glanced at Trowa, completely mortified. I couldn't ask him to carry me down the stairs like a child. And Trowa must have felt like a pack mule, being ordered to hall me around!

But, somehow, he really didn't look all that offended as he smiled and leaned down to pick me up. He gently scooped me into his arms as though I weighed nothing, then descended the stairs as lightly as a jungle cat. Wufei had opened one of the doors, and Trowa carried me into the room. Inside was a small bedroom with a pair of twin bed and two dressers. It was a normal bedroom, which was far above what most slaves were given.

Trowa placed me on the closest bed, then helped me change and tucked me under the covers. I was blushing brightly by the time I got settled, but it didn't faze Trowa. He simply pulled the covers up to my chin and knelt next to me.

"Are you feeling any better?" he asked.

"A little," I said truthfully. Laying down was helping me, although it was also making me sleepy.

"I brought some aspirin as well," Wufei said from the door as he entered with a tray a few minutes later. "I thought perhaps it would help."

"Thank you," I said, somewhat weakly. I just wanted to go to sleep, but I knew Wufei and Trowa wouldn't let me go to sleep without eating something. And, true to my belief, Wufei came over and plopped a tray of tea and toast in front of me, insisting that I take the pills and eat at least two pieces of toast before he would let me lay back down.

"I really think it's just stress and maybe a bit of jetlag, but it's best to keep an eye on him. You will, I suppose, be sleeping in here?" he asked Trowa, who nodded. They were both ignoring me, but as I was having terrible difficulty keeping my eyes open I wasn't at all offended. "Then you can keep an eye on him tonight, and be sure to wake me if he gets worse. I'll make sure to tell Master Zechs when he gets home, but otherwise I don't think we need to concern him."

"Alright," Trowa agreed, raising the covers to my chin. "Is there anything I should look for?"

"Fever, mainly, or any kind of sweating. Or, more likely, if he tells you he's feeling worse. Just stay close in case he feels ill again."

"I will," Trowa said, and his soft voice was the last thing I heard as I drifted into sleep.

It was morning before I woke again, and this time it was to the feel of someone sitting beside me, softly stroking my hair. I expected to open my eyes to see Trowa, but instead found Master sitting beside me, with Trowa no where to be found. Still, Master smiled at me so gently that I found it impossible to be disappointed.

"Master?" I wondered.

"Awake, finally?" he asked in response, smiling brighter. "Wufei tells me that you were feeling ill last night, so I let you sleep late. Wufei also tells me that you haven't been eating lately."

"I'm sorry, Master. It was just so busy that I guess I forgot."

"Well, don't let it happen again. I expect you to have a big breakfast this morning, then relax for the rest of the day. Come on then," he said, pulling me to stand beside the bed. "I believe the others have finished making breakfast, so let's go get something to eat."

Master helped me out into the hall, keeping a hand on my elbow. I could feel that he was worried I would fall even though I felt a million times better than I had last night. I could smell breakfast even from the stairs and my mouth began to water. I was glad to find breakfast already laid out when we reached the kitchen, because I was starving. The others probably thought it strange how eagerly I set into my bowl of porridge, but I was too hungry to care.

About half way through breakfast the phone rang, and Master jumped up to get it. I was too focused on my food to notice the first half of the conversation, but everyone stopped to stare when Master's voice went from annoyed to irate.

"...What do you mean you already did it? Damn it Sally, you knew I'd want to be there!... No, I trust you... No, I know I wouldn't have been any help but... Damn it, that wasn't your call!... The other boys were fine... They're still fine... I'm coming down right now, and damn you, if you pull something like this again I'm going to kick your ass, woman or not. Where is he?... Yes, I know where recovery is. I'm not senile... What are his signs like?... Alright, I'll be there soon," he said, then hung up the phone and rushed to get his shoes.

Heero was the first to move, while all the rest of us sat frozen at the table. He jumped up from his seat, almost knocking over his chair in the process, and darted to where Master was heading out the door.

"Master, are you going to see Duo?"

"Huh? Oh, yes," Master said offhandedly, grabbing his keys from the counter.

"Can I come with you?"

"No, you stay here. I'll be back later," he said, opening the door and stepping out before turning, in a rushed way, back to the rest of us. "Behave yourselves while I'm gone. Order lunch if you need to. I'll be home later," he finished, then closed the door and was gone.

Heero remained standing, staring at the door in silence. Finally he sighed and his shoulders sagged, and he walked out of the kitchen.

I had expected him to be disappointed, but not to this extent. There was such hopeless ness, such disappointment, such failure radiating from his that I could only stare at his retreating back in wonder. Where was this longing coming from? Was he really that upset that Master was spending so much time with Duo? But that didn't make any sense, for I couldn't feel a hint of jealousy on him, only pain and sadness. But why?

It wasn't until after breakfast that I had a chance to speak with Heero. I convinced Wufei and Trowa that I was fine, so they decided to go explore the grounds a bit more. Heero, luckily, had decided to work off his excess emotions in the gym, so I didn't have to go far to find him.

"Heero? Can I talk to you?" I asked.

"Talk," he replied gruffly, never pausing in his repetition as he worked out his arms.

"Why were you so upset about Master leaving?" I asked, point blank. If he wanted to be a jerk than I could be insensitive too.

"That's none of your concern," he replied, stopped his repetitions, and moved to another machine.

"Fine," I huffed, "I'll just let Master know," I replied. Heero paused from changing the weight on his machine, stopping dead. He was still for a moment, then sighed and turned to me.

"What do you want?" he asked, his eyes smoldering with anger at me. I almost, for a second, backed down from the intensity of that glare, but my empathy told me that he wasn't violently angry, and the he didn't hate me, as his glare proclaimed. If I hadn't had my empathy, I probably would have apologized and left.

"I want to know why you were so upset that Master left."

"I wasn't upset that Master left," he said, turning from me again.

"You were upset that he wouldn't take you with him."

"No," he replied again. "I was upset I couldn't see Duo."

"But, you have to know that Master is taking care of Duo..."

"He's dead."

"W-what?" I could only gasp, wondering if I had heard him right.

"Duo. He's dead. I'm sure of it."

And suddenly it came into focus, what I had felt from Heero earlier. He was sure that Duo had died in the hospital, which was why Master wouldn't take him to see Duo. He was literally in mourning, trying to overcome the loss of his friend when no one else even knew he was gone. Alone and in pain, he had been dealing with this loss without the solace of another soul. Without even understanding.

"You're wrong," I told him. "Duo's not dead."

"How do you know?" Heero asked, turning on me with a vehement glare, but this time I was not moved. This time he wasn't really angry, just afraid to hope.

"If Duo had died, Master would be sad. He might not like Duo, but I know he would be upset it he had died. So far, I welt some anxiety from him when Duo has been mentioned, but nothing to imply that Duo is or could be dying. Duo is fine," I assured him, and felt the relief roll off of him.

Now, I could only hope that Master would prove me right.


	98. Zechs 97

I arrived at Preventer's headquarters in full fledged pissed mode. Nothing seemed to be going right, starting with when I had arrived home dead tired the night before only to find that Quatre was sick. I had checked on him and he seemed fine, but I had spent half the night worrying anyway. I was probably just paranoid since Duo was in bad condition, but I couldn't shake the feeling that something disastrous was about to happen.

So I spent an almost sleepless night worrying about Quatre. This condition was only compounded by the fact that, after a month of being surrounded by the boys I had come to care so much for, I suddenly found myself sleeping completely alone. I kept waking to find myself reaching for one of them only to miss and grasp the air. More than once I found myself getting up to go check on them, only to force myself to lay back down. I couldn't give them a sense of normality if I was constantly looking over their shoulders, but it was so hard to put space between us, especially at that point.

The next morning began better, but quickly spiraled downward. I had woken early to find Wufei already up, and we had spent some time talking over tea. Wufei was an interesting young man and I longed to learn more about him, but I couldn't spare the attention from Duo to truly understand him.

Heero and Trowa meandered down the stairs some time later and I let the three of them start breakfast as I went to wake Quatre. I was relieved to find that he was feeling better and we went to enjoy our first breakfast in our new home.

Which is when I got the call. I had been expecting Sally to call me in the morning to tell me that Duo was awake and that I should come in. I had not, unfortunately, been expecting her to call me to tell me how his operation went.

What operation?

"The operation to re-inflate his lung, duh,. I got a three hour window this morning where the nurses I needed were here and the rest of the staff was gone so I took it. The operation is over and he's doing fine," Sally responded on the other side of the phone. I felt a migraine starting behind my eyes.

"What do you mean you already did it? Damn it Sally, you knew I'd want to be there!"

"And why, exactly, is that?" Sally asked, and I could hear her getting equally pissed. "Do you doubt my skills?" she asked.

"No, I trust you...:"

"Do you think that you would have been able to help? Are you under some kind of delusion that I would have let you into the operating room?" she hissed.

"No," I responded again, "I know I wouldn't have been any help but..."

"Then why the hell would I have called you at three in the morning? I knew you'd run straight down here like an idiot, so I went ahead with the operation without you."

"Damn it, that wasn't your call!" I hissed, extremely pissed off that I hadn't been there for Duo, even though there was nothing I could have done.

"And what about the rest of your boys? Are you just going to ignore them all the time because of this?"

"The other boys were fine," I defended.

"For one night. Duo's not going to be better in a day. You need to balance your time."

"They're still fine," I defended, then gave up, knowing neither of us would back down. "I'm coming down right now, and damn you, if you pull something like this again I'm going to kick your ass, woman or not. Where is he?"

"He's in recovery," Sally huffed. "Do you remember where that is?"

"Yes, I know where recovery is. I'm not senile."

"Sometimes I wonder," Sally teased. "You're as grumpy as an old man."

"What are his signs like?" I asked, ignoring her comment.

"Strong and stable. He's a tough little kid, I'll give him that," she assured, and I knew Sally wouldn't say anything she didn't really believe just to spare my feelings.

"Alright, I'll be there soon," I assured her, then rushed out the door. It was late, so I had to tell Heero that he couldn't come, which broke my heart. But most of the agents would already be at work and, as I already knew, I couldn't risk letting Heero be seen going into a place like Preventer's or being seen by that many people. This operation was far too delicate for that.

By the time I arrived at Preventer's my temper had calmed somewhat, but I was still upset, and remained so until I was able to get in to see Duo a few minutes later. He was resting peacefully, still attached to many tubes and wires, but considerably less than before. The tube down his throat, also, was conspicuously absent.

"The operation was a complete success," Sally said, coming to stand behind me in the doorway as I moved to Duo's bedside. "We'll have to put a tube down his throat to check for any more damage, but I don't expect there to be any. We can do it tomorrow or the next day, if he wakes up."

"He won't like it. He's a bit touchy when it comes to people touching him. He'll probably baulk at voluntarily feeling strangled."

"There's isn't an alternative, you know that. There's more risk if we do it while he's asleep."

"I want to be here."

"Of course. He'll be awake for this one, so there's actually a reason for you to be here."

"I'm glad to have your approval," I commented dryly, giving her a glare as I took a seat beside Duo.

"Call me if he wakes up, but it'll probably be a few hours at least before he does," Sally commented, heading out the door. I nodded, but she didn't see. Still, she knew I had everything in hand.

Duo took most of the day to wake up. I would have said he simply did it to spite me, but he actually woke up earlier than expected. I spent most of my day drinking coffee, reading newspapers, and typing up reports of what I had seen at Collar. Now that I was back I could type them freely without having to worry about being caught.

Duo opened his eyes sometime around dusk, making the most hilarious face as he tried to get his bearings. My laughter attracted his eye, but he probably thought I was some kind of drug indued hallucination from the way he looked at me. Oh, but it felt good to laugh.

"How are you feeling?" I asked, wiping my eyes as I finally calmed. Duo merely rolled his eyes. "Hit by a mac truck, huh? A collapsed lung will do that to you. Luckily, you're out of the woods. Sally wants to do an exam on you tomorrow, then it should only be a few days before you can go home.

"The others?" he mouthed, though he was smart enough not to try to talk.

"They're already at the house, waiting for you. Heero is worried nearly sick."

"Bring him?" Duo asked silently.

"I can't. It's too big of a risk."

Duo huffed, and I think he mouthed, "Bastard," but he turned away, so I couldn't really see. I patted his hand and rose.

"Get some rest. I'm going to tell Sally that you're awake and I'm sure she'll be in to run some kind of gruesome test on you," I said. Duo gave me a pained look, then closed his eyes. I didn't doubt that he was asleep before I was out the door.

Sally, as promised, returned a while after I spoke with her, but the tests she performed were neither gruesome nor painful. They were, in fact, merely superficial examinations of the basic necessities, like heart rate, blood pressure, and breathing. Her monitors kept her informed of everything, including those conditions, but Sally was always double checking things like that. Sally had spent many of her days in the field putting soldiers back together, and having gone so long without modern technology she was wary of relying too much on it.

Once that was over Duo went back to sleep and I was forced out of the room. Knowing that Duo was out of the woods, I was able to relax slightly, and went home to catch dinner with the other boys. Duo's operation was scheduled for three in the morning, so I took a nap as soon as dinner was over and was well refreshed when I headed back to the hospital at midnight.

Duo, also, was wide awake and refreshed when I got there, which was good because it gave me time to explain the procedure to him. A lot of this operation relied on Duo staying calm, so it was imperative that he be well informed and unafraid of the operation. Having anything startle him into a panic could be disastrous, so Sally and I had set aside an hour ahead of time to show him all of the tools we would be using. It was also important for him to know what to expect it to do and feel like, but unfortunately Duo could not ask any questions, so would have to rely solely on my description. And, from the look of it, Duo wasn't too keen on the idea of the operation anyway.

"Look," I explained for the second time, "it's very simple. Sally needs to make sure there isn't any damage to the inside of your throat or lungs, so she's going to put a small camera down your throat so that she can see, alright?" I asked. Duo shook his head. "Is it not all right, or do you not understand?" I asked, but Duo couldn't answer a two part question, so I had to restate it. I found that, yes, Duo understood and, no, it was not alright.

"I know you don't like this, and I know it's scary. But this is actually the safest way for us to do the operation. Now if you don't think you can stand it we can put you under to do it, but there's a lot more risk if we do. Now, are you too afraid?" I asked. Duo gave me an offended look and shook his head haughtily. "Good. You'll have to remain calm through the operation, so Sally and I are going to go over the procedure as soon as she gets in."

The operation we were about to perform was indeed to look at or take samples from the throat and lungs. In it one would take a small camera and put it into the throat. Keeping the patient awake reduced the possibility of accidental suffocation, but it was hard on the patient's psyche.

We wheeled Duo to the operating room not long later, then waited a few minutes for Sally to appear. Once there, Sally began to show Duo the tools she would use to examine his throat. He, undoubtedly, was appalled and tried to verbalize this to Sally, though he failed.

"I think I can speak for Duo about this. Sally, you have one of the largest budgets for medical equipment on the planet. So, please explain to me why your using equipment from the 19th century? That thing looks like a roto-rooter."

"Oh shut up. If it was good enough for your forefathers it's good enough for you. Besides, we do have better equipment, but it takes twenty people to work and I can't get that many people," she said pointedly. The part she couldn't say was that she couldn't get clearance for that many people to see Duo. So we would have to do this the old fashioned way.

"She's right," I sighed, looking back at Duo, "It's either this or you'll have to transfer you to another hospital and add some time to your hospital stay. Do you think you can handle it? It only takes a couple of minutes," I informed him. Duo nodded reluctantly, still staring apprehensively at the instrument in question.

"You're lucky this is the only thing we have to skimp on," Sally informed haughtily while she set up her instruments. "If this had been a regular hospital you'd be taking months to recover from the lung instead of weeks. So count your blessings and open you mouth," Sally instructed, bringing over a small spraying instrument. Duo gave her a sour face, but did as she instructed, and she sprayed the back of his throat with a powerful numbing liquid. From my seat next to Duo's bed I was given a prime view of Duo's red and swollen esophagus, so I wasn't surprised when he began to cough and had to be turned on his side. By the time he finished and we turned him back, Duo was looking bleak indeed. I smiled, hoping to cheer him, but he only managed another sour glare. I chuckled and let him close his eyes for the remaining few minutes before Sally started.

And then it was time to begin. Sally tilted his head back and secured it with restrains to ensure he couldn't move, then used various instruments connected to the chair to hold his mouth open and keep his tongue out of the way. I stood and took his hand, hoping to bring comfort to the obviously frightened boy. Then Sally took the instrument, which really looked more like a long tube than anything I had implied before, and began to feed it down Duo's throat, carefully watching its progress through both his mouth and the television set up to her right. As the camera touched his throat Duo's eyes went wide and he gasped through his nose, struggling not to move. He began to shake and his grip on my hand went painfully tight.

"Talk to him, Zechs," Sally instructed tersely, never looking away from her work.

"Duo?" I questioned quietly next to his ear. "You're doing great. Just a few more minutes and you'll be done, alright?"

Meanwhile, my words were seeming to have no effect, and Duo was growing more and more tense. His hands were trembling violently and he was gasping for breath, but still holding still for Sally. The bright lights shown in his eyes, which were wide with fear. I wanted to reach out and hold him, but I knew that would be neither possible nor appreciated. Duo, despite the care I held for him, still hated me.

But that, honestly, had very little effect on the amount of pain I felt, seeing one of my boys stretched out in pain like that. I couldn't stand it, but I knew that I had to, because Duo was standing it and I had to be there for him.

"The worst is over now, I promise," I assured him. "Just a little bit more and it'll be all over."

Meanwhile, Sally was just reaching the half way point, and paused to examine a small scratch. I wanted to yell at her to hurry up, but I knew that doing a poor job would result in far more damage. Duo, meanwhile, was still struggling to stay calm, and only began to fail as Sally reached the end of his esophagus and found his lungs. By that time his panic had taken a firm hold. Instead of shaking, now he had taken a firm hold on the bed and his entire body was as tense as wire. He arched his back and managed to get one foot firmly planted on the bed, holding back his own struggling by mere seconds. I held him down, but he was so panicked that I worried I wouldn't be able to hold him down without hurting him. His breathing was erratic and pained, and his eyes were wide and terrified. He closed them, pushing two teardrops down the side of his face, still gasping and almost sobbing, and I knew he couldn't take much more.

"Sally, that's enough."

"Just a minute more."

"Sally, pull it!" I snapped, feeling that Duo was about to struggle and possibly hurt himself. Sally cursed under her breath and quickly pulled the instrument out, almost more quickly than was safe. As soon as it was out Duo began to gasp for breath, coughing and choking in his panicked state. I turned him to his side and rubbed his back until he calmed, then turned him back.

"Is there anything I can get you?" I asked, not really thinking about it.

"Heero," he mouthed, pleadingly, desperately. I was stunned, for a moment, by pain behind his plea, but quickly acquiesced.

"I'll send a car to get him," I told him, and the relief was visible in his face as he closed his eyes.


	99. Heero 98

The call came at nearly four in the morning. Wufei and I were in the same room and closer to the stairs, so we went to answer it and Quatre and Trowa went back to sleep. Wufei answered it, but put it on speaker phone so we could both hear. It was dangerous for slaves to take a phone call while the master was away, for we could easily talk to someone we weren't supposed to or let something slip. On the other hand, if we could also get in trouble for answering the phone, so it was best just to be careful.

"Is there a Heero there?" the voice asked. Wufei and I were both startled, for members of Collar would use a slave name, and it was not good for others to know we existed.

"Why do you ask?" Wufei quickly replied.

"Mister Marquis wants him to be escorted to the hospital tonight."

"To see Duo?" I said, then immediately regretted my words. I simply couldn't help myself. And Wufei, from his glare, also seemed to disapprove.

"He said to tell you if you asked that a close friend of yours who is in the hospital has been asking for you. I don't know if this is the person you're looking for or not."

"How soon do I leave?"

"Heero!" Wufei hissed. "We don't know if this person is lying," he whispered. He was right, of course, but I was desperate to see Duo.

"Mister Marquis will be sending his limo around for you in half an hour," the voice said, perhaps hearing our mistrust. "He asked I call and alert you. That is all," he said, then disconnected.

"You shouldn't go," Wufei said instantly.

"I have to," I responded, just as convicted.

"This could be a trick of some other master. It could be anyone who has a grudge against Master planning to use us against him."

"Who else knows we're here? It's Master's first year, and we've only been here a few days. Besides, I can't believe they could get Master's limo to use against us."

"Well..." Wufei considered, his dark eyes filled with thought and calculations. "You go, but I'm going to call Master to make sure this is planned," he replied. Then, as if on cue, a horn sounded in front of the house. We both froze for just an instant, then I ran for the stairs to dress and Wufei headed to the kitchen to make the call. I fairly dashed up the stairs and threw my clothes on so quickly that I almost ripped them. I didn't even tie my shoes and barely refrained from leaping down the stairs. I passed Wufei on my way to the door. He was still on the phone, but motioned for me to go on, so I assumed Master had cleared my trip. My heart leapt. I was actually going to see Duo!

I could barely stand the ride, but as we approached the hospital I suddenly began to feel nervous. It wasn't often that a slave was allowed to go into public, and almost never without the master. Plus, crowds made me nervous, and I was fairly certain that there would be many people at the hospital, if not a crowd. And what if Master didn't meet me? What if he expected me to know where to go, or wanted me to ask someone where to go? What if I asked the wrong person, or said the wrong thing?

I was nearly shaking as we pulled up to the large building and the driver stopped in front. I swallowed hard and reached for the door...

...But it opened before I could touch it. Master was on the other side, and reached in for my hand. I smiled in relief and grabbed his had, letting him help me out of the car. I should have known Master would have everything under control.

"Was the ride smooth?" Master asked. "You didn't have any trouble getting here, did you?"

"No, Mas-..."

"Ah-ah. We're in public."

"Oh. I'm sorry..."

"It's alright, just don't forget again. Now, come on. Duo's anxious to see you."

We walked into the hospital then, and it was just as strange and crowded and frightening as I had expected it to be, but it was alright, because Master as there with me. There were only a lot of people in the front hall, but since we had to walk all the way across the front hall to get to the elevator it was still really stressful. There was a scattering of people there, a few children and several adults. One of the children was crying and the others were fussing. Their mothers were either trying to calm them or snapping at them to be quiet. There was an old man snoring on one of the benches, and several people were speaking with nurses. There were doctors and nurses and orderlies and all manner of people walking around. It seemed like chaos, and I moved closer to Master. I didn't think I could have taken this alone without panicking.

Once we reached the elevator, all the noise stopped and it seemed unnaturally still.

"It won't be like that in the rest of the building," Master assured. "They keep the bottom floor open twenty-four hours, because that's where the emergency room and overnight patients stay."

As the doors opened, I saw that he was right, for the upper floors were almost empty. A stray nurse passed us here and there, but other than that it was empty. Until, of course, Sally found us.

"Alright, ground rules," she began instantly, "Do not, under any circumstances, allow Duo to speak. Do not ask him questions. Do not upset him. Do not get him excited. Do not talk loudly. Do not startle him. Do not keep him awake. I think that's about it."

"But I can see him?" I asked, hoping that wasn't against the rules.

"If you follow my instructions you can, but only for an hour. Duo needs to sleep."

"I'll make sure they behave," Master assured, taking my shoulder and leading me toward a door.

The room inside, it seemed, was not meant for a bed. It had no windows, no bathroom, no curtain, no television, not even a lamp or a dresser. The only thing that actually implied that it was a room and not a closet was the bed, which Duo was currently lying in. I was grateful, though, because slaves were usually shoved into broom closets or under desks when they had to be hospitalized. A master had to hide them to keep questions from being asked. Master was taking a large risk by letting Duo be so exposed.

There were several fold up chairs in the room, along with other equipment, most of which had been disconnected from Duo. I pulled up a chair and seated myself next to the bed.

Buried in the white sheets and pillows, Duo was pale and bruised. There was a sharp contrast to the paleness of his skin and the darkness of his bruises, even sharper than the contrast between my own quickly healing bruises. His neck was still darkly bruised, but he was breathing on his own and seemingly without any trouble. There was still an IV connected to his arm, but there was no other equipment connected to him. His eyes were closed, so I could see how dark the bags around them were. His lips, too, were still bruised and split in several places, but even with all that he still look a hundred times better than he had at Collar. He actually looked like he'd survive.

His eyes opened and the violet orbs locked instantly on me. He smiled, though it must have hurt with his lips so damaged.

"Hey Duo," I said quietly, taking his fingers in mine. "They said you're not allowed to talk, so don't get me in trouble by trying, alright?" I asked. Duo nodded, just barely moving his head, but his eyelids drooped from the exertion. I could tell that if I talked quietly enough I could put him right back to sleep. "You know, everyone's waiting for you back at the house," I whispered, not knowing if Duo really heard me, and not really caring. "It's a great house, too. I think you'll love it. It's huge, and there's this big library on top and a barn out back. When you get better we'll go explore the barn, alright? So you have to get better," I told him, but he was already asleep. I smiled sadly and laid my cheek against his hand.

It seemed like minutes later that it was time to go, though Master assured me it had been more than an hour.

"Can I come back and see him tomorrow?" I asked. Master frowned, then shook his head.

"I don't think that would be a good idea. He'll be home in a couple days anyway, so why don't you just wait until then?" Master suggested. I was disappointed, but didn't want to seem ungrateful, so I simply nodded and tried not to sulk. I was lucky to have gotten to see Duo once while he was in the hospital.

We headed back downstairs, and out past the chaos in the waiting room which seemed completely unchanged. At the door I wondered to Master when the limo would be coming.

"I'll be driving us home. It's too late to bother the driver. Besides, I drove down here."

"Oh," I replied. It wasn't common for a Master to drive themselves because of all the hazards of the road, but it wasn't uncommon either. I didn't give it another thought as Master led me to another plain-looking van. I merely opened the rear doors and prepared to hop in.

"Uh... Heero?" Master wondered, and I paused.

"Yes, Master?" I said, turning to find him staring at me in puzzlement.

"What are you doing?" he asked, referring to the fact that I was climbing in the back. It was common for slaves to ride in the back of a vehicle, and out of sight, so that no one saw them and the master together.

"I thought..."

"I know what you thought, but you were wrong," Master said gently, coming up beside me and closing the door. "You'll make a lot less of a stir if you ride in the front, beside me, then if someone sees you climbing into the back. Go on, now, and put your seatbelt on," he instructed, then hopped in the driver's side. It felt weird to ride shotgun, but it was much more comfortably than lying on the floor for the trip. And Master even let me recline the seat, once he saw me falling asleep against the window.


	100. Zechs 99

I carried Heero to bed. Asleep in the passenger side, his seat reclined so he could lean back, resting his head on the window. I just couldn't bring myself to wake him. So, I slid into the driveway and turned off the van, then slipped around and eased his door open. The seatbelt, which I had insisted he wore, kept him from falling out as the door opened. Once the door was open I unfastened him and slipped him into my arms. From there I managed to get him into the house without waking him, though the door was tricky. Of course, it would have been more tricky if it weren't unlocked. I would have to speak to the boys about that, though we were so far outside of town that it was unlikely we would be robbed.

Once in the house I found that, as expected, all the other boys were in bed. I was still early in the morning, though I had yet to get to bed. I headed straight for the stairs once inside, and couldn't quite resist the temptation of putting Heero in my bed instead of his own. After Duo's operation earlier, I just didn't feel I could stand sleeping alone again, so I slipped Heero into my bed and pulled off his shoes and socks. Then I changed out of my clothes, which I'm sure I had been wearing longer than recommended, and slipped into bed beside Heero. He slipped easily into my arms and I couldn't help a sigh of contentment. This was how it was supposed to be.

It was not, however, supposed to wake me up five hours later.

"Leave me alone!" I whined, turning on my stomach and pulling the pillow over my head.

"Master Zechs, please!" Wufei huffed, pulling the pillow from my head, "Someone from Collar is on the phone. They said it was important!"

I growled something most unpleasant under my breath, but got up.

"Stall them while I wash up. I'll be down in a minute," I told him. He nodded once and scurried off, while I shuffled into the bathroom to brush up. It took me about five minutes to get presentable and throw on a shirt, but I figured if they called me at this time of day then they could wait.

Although, I noticed as I headed downstairs, it seemed to be much closer to midday than I previously expected.

"Still on Collar time, I see," the young man on the commented. I didn't feel the need to correct him, so gaining no response from me he soon continued. "It happens to most masters, I'm told. But, to business. My name is Don. I'm calling on behalf of Collar and as a representative of the Owner. I'd like to speak with you about the claim you filed against a Mr. Anderson and Mr. Whitefield."

"A... who?"

"The two guards you claim attacked your two slaves."

"Ah. The assholes," I said, making the younger man chuckle.

"Yes. Now, did you, or any other masters, or any slaves owned by another master witness this alleged attack?"

"I witnessed it," I said, my tone hardening, daring him to doubt me.

"Ah, that's excellent. I see you've already filed a report and the Collar doctor has submitted a report on the injuries of Shinigami. The second slave did not have enough injuries to file a grievance over, but due to the fact that Shinigami had not been transferred into your care before the injuries were received you are entitled to the full purchasing price of the slave."

"But what about the guards that attacked them?" I wondered. I couldn't care less about the money, but I wanted revenge.

"I'm getting to that. Collar will pay for half of the purchasing price of Shinigami and the guards will be responsible for the other half."

"You must be paying them a damn huge amount if they ever want to be able to pay me that much," I said distastefully. Again, the man laughed.

"Oh, we're well aware that they will never in their lives be able to pay off that amount of money. So we'll be auctioning them off to repay you."

"You'll be what?"

"We'll sell them. It's part of their contract, that if they rack up a debt to Collar over a certain amount we can take their possessions to repay it. And, of course, the most expensive thing they own right now is themselves, so we'll put them into training over the summer and sell them in the fall. The smaller one will probably bring a decent price among the male masters at Collar, and we're going to try to pitch the larger one at the females at Collar. Though we may have to do some enhancements on him first."

"I... see. Do you often have to sell the guards?"

"Rarely. We impose severe penalties on guards who are caught harassing the slaves, but we can't always watch them. I have been told that it is not uncommon for a guard to seduce a slave. The slaves allow it because they don't want to make trouble, and because they enjoy it. But, regardless, attempting to seduce a slave as unpredictable as the Shinigami was a stupid idea, and they obviously went too far by damaging him."

"I understand. Please contact me before you put those two up for auction."

"Yes, sir. Have a good day," he said, and hung up, which was the best thing he could have done, because I was very close to reaching through the screen and tearing his head off. He had just confessed, without guilt or shame, that they allowed the guards to force themselves up and rape the slaves without any consequences. He had even gone as far as to say the slaves liked it. And he implied that had Heero been alone or had Duo not been hurt so badly nothing would have been done.

And now, to top it all off, I hadn't thought the guards could be punished too severely, and I had been proved wrong. Even I couldn't wish the life of a slave, of constant humiliation, rapes, and beatings upon them. Death, I could easily sentence them to, but this... this was hell.

And, of course, it made me a bit ill that not only was I the cause of this, but I would also be the remedy. To save my boys, and all the other slaves, I would now have to rescue two people who almost deserved to be there.

All in all, it made for a very disagreeable morning, and I went downstairs with a sour stomach and an ill disposition. Which is why I was so surprised to smell something delightful wafting up the stairs. In the kitchen, all four of the boys were gathered, Heero at the table with a glass of milk and a plate of cookies, Wufei at the bar with another plate of cookies and a glass of tea, Quatre stirring a bowl of something, and Trowa removing cookies from the oven.

"Master!" Quatre squealed, smiling delightedly. He was wearing a frilly yellow apron, and I couldn't imagine where he found it, but it looked good on him. Underneath, strangely enough, he was still sporting his long blue and white striped pajamas and blue slippers. The other boys were all also in pjs, but they ranged from Trowa and Heero's shorts and a tank top to Wufei's traditional Chinese clothing.

"What are you doing?" I wondered, smiling as he ran up to hug me.

"I found a recipe for oatmeal cookies and you had applesauce in the fridge, so I wanted to make my favorite cookies for everyone. Is that okay?"

"Of course. But applesauce and oatmeal? What kind of cookies are they?"

"Oatmeal apple, of course. My own recipe," he said, bouncing back over to the counter. It seemed that the two days of boredom and rest had done him some good. "It's my own special recipe. Try one," he insisted, holding one out for me pleadingly. I could no more resist that face than I could purposefully hit a kitten with my car. So, with a hint of trepidation, I took a bite of the cookie.

"Quatre, this is great. Did you really come up with this?"

"Yeah. I used to pester the cook to let me play with the spices at home. We made all kinds of weird dishes," he said, a hint of melancholy on his face. Then he was back to scurrying around the kitchen, mixing and adding and tasting and as jolly as he had been. But I had caught that glimmer of sadness. I wished that I could destroy it, but even I could not manage that. Instead, I took a seat beside Heero and enjoyed the feeling of the kitchen that morning. And then Quatre spilled a bowl of dough and Trowa caught a towel on fire in his hurry to clean it up. And then it was perfect.


	101. Duo 100

They took me home two days after Heero came to see me, and two days and six hours after that damnable pipe went down my throat. I say "home" loosely, and because that's what everyone else called it. Was it home? I doubted it. I'd had more "homes" than pimples, and I felt the same way about both of them. The less you had the happier you'd be. People always put all this sentiment and feeling into the word home, but the truth? It's just a house. Sometimes it's a nice house, sometimes it's a crappy house. What they don't know is that you don't need a house at all to have a home. People are home, not places.

So we went to the house, which was hugely massive, and I couldn't even explore the damn thing because of how busted up I was.

"You're lucky the original owner of this house was elderly," Sally pointed out as she wheeled me down the hall, past the kitchen and the room with the TV. "There's a bedroom downstairs, so you won't have to climb up and down the stairs, and it has a bathroom right inside," she said happily as she opened the door to the little room.

I could have cried. It looked just like a damn hospital room! Granted, a nicer room than the one I had been in, but a hospital room none the less. I would have protested, but my throat still hurt and I had been warned that talking might do some serious damage. I didn't usually listen, but this time the doctor and my body were telling me the same thing; talking bad.

So I huffed as the wheeled me into the room, then growled as Sally and Zechs dumped me in the bed, then pouted as they left. I should have stayed at the stupid hospital. This wasn't any different. There wasn't even a TV! I huffed, contemplated getting out of bed and walking around just to make Sally mad, and fell asleep thinking about it. Turns out that I was a lot more exhausted than I thought.

"Duo? Are you awake?" Heero's voice asked quietly from the doorway. I resisted the urge to say, "I am now," knowing that it probably wouldn't come out and it would cause a lot of hassle for me. "I wanted to come see how you were doing. Master says you still can't speak, but should be able to within a week. He also says I can take you into the den tomorrow for breakfast and to watch some TV," he said. I smiled. Score! "But you have to take a nap in here afterwards." Ah hell. "Sally says that if you eat well and rest a lot you might be able to walk in a day or two. I thought I'd come tell you because the Master has a tendency to forget to inform us about this kind of stuff, and I knew you'd want to know. The list of Collar events came today, so we'll probably get our assignments once Master has had time to look them over. But I should let you get back to sleep. Get some rest, and I'll see you in the morning."

What the hell? You just wake me up, say a couple of words, and then leave? Well fuck you too, buddy.

Of course, I wasn't really mad. And I was really glad Heero had told me all that junk, because I had thought I'd be on my but and silent for the next six months or something. But, and I hated to say it, I was lonely, and being in a house full of people without being near anyone wasn't helping.

But I was also still on some pretty heavy pain meds, so it wasn't long until I once again lost the battle with sleep and fell back under. Stupid pills.

The next couple of days went exactly according to plan. Unfortunately, it was Sally's plan, so I was bored out of my mind. Heero would come and get me late in the morning, fresh from the shower and blushing slightly from the heavy exercise he did. I was usually pretty groggy, so he'd shake me, then, instead of waiting for me to wake up fully, he'd carry me into the den and plop me on the couch. Then, while I actually woke up, he'd get a breakfast tray from the kitchen. By the time he came back I was usually awake enough to eat the oatmeal or jello he brought me and swallow the milk or juice that came with it. Then he'd take me to the bathroom where I'd swallow all of the nine billion pills Sally had left for me and gargle with the gross stuff she left to keep my trachea from swelling closed. Then he'd haul me back to my bed, whether I was tired or not, and in minutes I'd be out. Lunch and dinner were pretty much the same, except soup was substituted in for the oatmeal and I had to eat dinner in the kitchen with everyone else. It was kind of nice, though, cause the kitchen was really warm from the cooking Trowa and Quatre did and it was nice to see everyone and hear about their days. Even if I did fall asleep in my soup a couple of times.

Time flew, and I really wasn't clear enough to say exactly how many days passed, but it seemed like a surprisingly short time before Sally cleared me for walking. Of course, it really shouldn't have been that surprising, seeing that my legs hadn't been damaged at all.

Zechs wouldn't let me try to walk when Sally wasn't present. He snapped when I even stood up. Of course, I usually started to fall as soon as I got to my feet and had to be caught by someone, so he actually had a point in yelling at me. Not that I ever admitted it. So when the day rolled around that Sally said I could try walking, I had to wait until almost noon to try. And then I couldn't even make a smart remark about her lateness because I still wasn't allowed to talk.

And it was so hard not to talk! I mean, it wasn't hard to remember not to talk, because my throat was always hurting, and I was never over come by temptation because I knew how hard it was to eat and drink and I had been assured that talking would be worse. But it was just so hard to talk in my head without talking out loud. And Heero, while being a complete blessing on everything else, just wasn't a conversationalist. I know he tried, damn did he try, but it was hard for him to hold a one-sided conversation when he wasn't even used to holding regular conversations. And I think I mad him nervous, because I often fell asleep on him, and I know he worried about keeping me awake. He always told me to wave if I wanted him to go away, and I never signaled, but that was about all I was able to do to reassure him.

But one thing at a time, so we'll go back to the walking thing. When Sally did arrive she put me through the usual tests and actually seemed pretty pleased.

"You're healing very quickly, and there doesn't look like there will be any permanent damage. So, let's see if you can still walk," she said, smiling at me. I stuck out my tongue at her, and she laughed. I smiled. Until, that is, Heero grabbed my hand and pulled me out of the chair. My head spun and I found myself back on my butt just as quickly.

"Not so quick," Sally admonished. "He needs to adjust to standing again."

So Heero pulled me up again, and again my head spun, and again I landed on my ass, only a lot more slowly and this time my ass was on the floor.

"Well, that was better. Let's try one more time."

So, again, Heero pulled me up. Only this time my head didn't spin quite as much, and I managed to stay on my feet, though I leaned heavily on Heero.

"Excellent. We'll you seem to be progressing well on your own, so I'm going to head off. I'll take a couple of your pills with me, though, because I think you're well enough to do without them. I know how disappointed you are about it, though," she teased, "so I'm going to leave Heero here with a list of exercises for you to do," she said, and I groaned mentally. "I'll see you next week."

So we went another couple of days with basically the same routine, except now Heero got me up early with him, and then we both went to get showers, then had breakfast, and then I crashed on the couch. The reduction in drugs Sally had given me made it so that I wasn't quite so tired, but I was still pretty weak. So, although the drugs weren't making me drowsy, I still slept from the end of breakfast until the start of lunch. Then I could generally stay awake until lunch, but I'd usually just watch TV or play checkers with someone. Personally, I think they rotated turns of playing with me, because I never seemed to get the same person twice in a row, but it's just a hunch.

And then, finally, Sally released me to limited speaking. It was painful at first, and I had a weird accent because of the damage, but within a weak I could speak normally. The pain faded until it was no more than a bad sore throat. Slowly, too, I managed to stay awake for longer at a time, and do more work without having to take a break. I started to break routine to do things I wanted and, though I know Heero disproved breaking the routine, I could see he was happy that I was getting my strength and independence back.

But, sometimes, I almost wished I wasn't getting better. Because with more time awake and unable to do much, I had a lot of time to think. And eventually that led to the realization that Zechs had just paid a hell of a lot to save my ass. This was cash above and beyond my purchasing, and it was money he really didn't have to put into me. I mean, a lot of masters let their slaves tough it out, or only got them the most basic care needed. Zechs had taken me to not one but two different hospitals, at great risk to himself, and paid for me to get top notch care. If he had just wanted a piece of my ass he could have let me recover for months, hell, he could have taken me while I recovered. And he could have left me with problems that could have left me lame and mute for the rest of my life. But he didn't. He fixed me and I couldn't condemn it as part of him being a master. He had done a person favor to me, and I owed him.

But what, exactly, did I owe him? I hadn't asked to be saved, though I couldn't complain now. And I was still his slave, his property. So part of it was technically his responsibility. But, as I already said, I couldn't pin it all on his being a master. So how much would I owe him? And, more importantly, how much would I be willing to pay? I had been forced into so much with past masters that I wasn't sure I could willing surrender myself to him to any extent. And being nice certainly wouldn't be enough. But I wasn't sure I had any more to offer.

But the most important question I asked myself was, "What will he want from me?"


	102. Zechs 101

It was the second week in the first month of Collar's summer by the time Duo got back to normal. He still tired easily with heavy exercise and slept more than the other boys, but otherwise he was almost completely normal. Bored, but normal.

And I was working on the bored part. I had expected that the boys would have to train for Collar, but I hadn't anticipated how fierce the competition would be. So while Duo healed and the boys settled, I had to get everything set up.

But first I had to do some serious thinking. Each of the boys had his own strengths and weaknesses, and each seemed to have some hidden and untapped strengths. It took a lot to decide which of those strengths would pair best with the Collar competitions. I let Duo and Wufei stay with the sections they already did well with, dance and martial arts for Wufei and the erotics for Duo. So I was more concerned with placing Heero, Quatre, and Trowa into sections, and since Duo and Wufei already had their chosen competitions I had to fit the other three into the ones left over and hope for the best. It wasn't really a sacrifice, because all three of them would be starting fresh, though Wufei did overshadow Heero on several sections I would have assigned to him. But, still, I knew it was a much better strategic move to keep the boys who had actually had been to Collar in the sections they were accustomed to and to put the ones who had never been to Collar in the leftover places.

And this realization, of course, led me into a terribly arduous search for suitable tutors and trainers, who then had to be approved by Preventers before I could proceed. Once that was settled I had to come to terms with just how difficult it was going to be to set up lessons for five teenage boys at the same time. It finally came down to setting up schedules for each of them.

I didn't keep my activities a secret, exactly, but only Wufei found out about it. Quatre and Trowa were too busy noticing each other to notice my doings, and Heero was either with Duo or training. So only Wufei noticed or questioned my activities, but even he was often busy meditating, training, studying, or helping with Duo. Although I did ask his opinion on a few of my choices, and he was the only one who had input into his own schedule.

"But what about these spaces?" he wondered, looking at his own daily plan. He had already glanced at the other's schedules but, naturally, was taking more time with his own. I hovered behind him, glancing at the large open spaces on his paper. He hadn't noticed that pieces of those empty spaces corresponded with the empty spaces on Trowa's paper.

"Do you remember when the assassin attacked you?" I wondered, wanting to start slowly.

"Yes," he replied, his brows furrowing in confusion.

"While you were drugged you mentioned that you had wanted to be a teacher, and you've shown a good deal of proof of being a scholar. So, I wanted to ask you, is it true that you wished to be a teacher?"

"Yes, I had hoped to be a teacher one day, but I don't know what that has to do with anything."

"I was wondering, then, if you would mind teaching Trowa?"

"T-teach Trowa?" he wondered in shock. "Teach him what?"

"I found out a while back that Trowa, amazingly, does not know how to read. I was hoping you could teach him."

He was quiet for a long time, as I had expected, contemplating the situation. It seemed to be an important choice for him. I'm sure he had given up on ever becoming a teacher, so he was very uncertain of taking the responsibility. Once a dream is broken, it is difficult to put it back together. But I could see him doing it, little by little, and there was a sparkle of hope in his eyes, so I knew his response even before he spoke.

"I... I am not trained as a teacher."

"That's alright. I'm not asking you to be perfect, but it would be more convenient for you to teach Trowa than for me to find someone with the necessary skills and character. Also, he trusts you, so he won't be as guarded as he might with another teacher. So? Will you do it?"

"O-of course," he stuttered, surprised and pleased. "I would love to. I just hope I'll be able to live up to your standards."

"I'm sure you'll do fine," I dismissed, smiling to reassure him. He nodded curtly, though I caught a slight smile on his face as he ducked his head, then left. I put the finishing touches on the schedules, double checked the times each of the tutors were scheduled to arrive on Monday, and put my stuff away.

Finally finished, I leaned back and stretched. I had been spending more time in my study than I had in my bed lately, but it was necessary to keep everything running well. And hopefully on Monday everything would run like clockwork with my boys.

My only concern was with Duo. He had won several competitions once, but it could have been a fluke. Beyond that, he had refused to perform since his first master died, and I didn't know how to convince him.

Speaking of the devil, I was startled when Duo entered without knocking. I frowned my disapproval, but I had learned to pick my battles with Duo, and this simply wasn't important enough for me to gripe about.

"Hey," he said, his voice strangely quiet and I could tell something was bothering him. "I wanted to talk to you."

"Take a seat," I offered, motioning to a couch adjacent to my desk. He took a seat awkwardly, fidgeting as he sat. He seemed nervous. "What can I do for you?" I wondered, but Duo just shook his head.

"God, you're green. Listen to the way you talk. What kind of master asks what he can do for his slave?" Duo wondered, snorting bitterly. I tensed, but he had already attributed it to my newness at being a master, so I would merely have to watch myself better in the future. However, I chuckled to cover my unease.

"It's a turn of phrase, Duo. I just want to know what you're here about," I said, putting the ball back in his court and making it so that he was the nervous one again.

"Look," he said hesitantly, "medical stuff isn't cheap. I know you spent a lot on saving me, and I know I've been nothing but trouble to you. I just wanted to tell you that I'm willing to help out with... whatever you need. To pay for my bills."

"Whatever I need?" I wondered. Duo bristled, jumping up from his seat.

"I'm not gonna screw you!" he yelled, snarling in anger coming from a deep rooted fear.

I laughed.

"What is wrong with you?" Duo growled, offended and afraid. I smiled at him somewhat annoyedly, though to be honest I could understand his anger.

"I have three boys that are perfectly willing and even eager to climb into my bed. I don't need another bottom," I told him, the humor gone from my features. "I need Collar slaves. I want you to compete this year. If you can do that, we'll be even."

"I can't," he replied almost instantly. I would have thought he was just being stubborn, but his eyes were cold and flat.

"How do you know?" I wondered, knowing I would have to tread carefully as not to set him off again. He sighed, lowering his head.

"Do you know what it takes to win competitions like that? What you have to do?" he wondered. Honestly, I couldn't think of much that it would take to win a competition of perversion.

"Skill? Beauty?"

"Everyone at Collar has the skills to win that competition, and if you're not pretty your not gonna survive long enough to get to the competition. To win that game, you've gotta have love."

"Love?" I couldn't help but sputter. How could love have anything to do with this level of perversion?

"When the judges watching you each have six dead sexy boys to do whatever kinky acts they want to, you have to show them something they haven't seen. My partner was my master and I was..." he paused, scrubbing his hand over his face. "I was fucking head over heels for him. They thought it was all a really good act, but in reality it wasn't an act at all. That's what got me the wins, and why I couldn't do it once... once Solo died. From there... it all spiraled out of control," he admitted, staring at his hands. "And don't tell me I didn't love him. I've heard it all before. I grew up on the streets, okay? Running away from foster homes that beat me into the streets that starved me," he said, then paused. His eyes were years away, and yet I was hesitant to stop him. Duo intrigued me, for he was the only slave that I was unable to predict in the least. If he was willing to offer me some insight into his past, then I would eagerly take it. I knew I could gain it no other way than by letting him tell his story, so I remained silent, though I was eager to question. "I could never tell which was worse, the homes or the streets, but at least in the streets I had hope. I guess you don't have to be told that there wasn't a lot of love in my childhood. I don't know what happened to my mom, but I was orphaned as a baby and on the streets as soon as I could run. On L-2 they don't have juvie, and I never got caught for anything bad enough to put me into jail, so they just kept putting me into new and worse foster homes. The last one, conveniently, just happened to be when I was fifteen, and it was the guy that sold the kids to Collar and said they ran away. I think they sold me to him to get rid of me. It wouldn't surprise me any," he said, his eyes burning with an old anger. "I was loaded up with a bunch of other boys and shipped off. They handled the others rough, but I was pretty, so they were gentler with me. When we got there they cleaned us all up, then started to sell us off," he said, and the hate drained out of his features only to be replaced by an almost haunted look. His voice quivered as he continued. "The masters... they didn't even wait to get their new slaves home. Just... just grabbed 'em and fucked 'em right there. I was... I was so damn scared I almost wet myself. And then Solo showed up, and he was young and handsome, and he took one look at me and bought me straight out. I actually cried, but he didn't hurt me or anything. Just took me home and gave me a bath. He even let me sleep in the bed with him," Duo said, and there was no doubted in my mind that he had loved his master. His eyes shown, and his voice was full of wonderment and pride. Whether the master had only been taking advantage of an easily impressionable young boy, I couldn't know, but it was easy to see that, for good or for bad, Duo had been deeply, almost unhealthily in love with him. "When he did take me the next day he was really gentle, even when I fought him, and it was really good. I had seen what it could be like and I was so grateful... I would have done anything for him after that. When he died I wished I would die too, because I didn't want to live without him," he said, pausing as his eyes went sad again in memory. "The other masters all told me that I didn't really love him, that I just loved the safety he gave me. Some even said that he did that to earn my trust and cooperation, that masters do that with particularly pretty slaves. I don't know, they could be right. But, whatever it was, I did love him, and nobody can take that away from me."

I gave him a moment to collect himself before bullying forward. The past was hard to speak of, but the future was what I was worried about.

"So you need to be in love to win?" I wondered. He looked up, suspicion in his eyes, as though he could sense my intent.

"Look, master, you're great and all, but I'm not in love with you," he snapped defensively. I laughed.

"Not me. But there are other's here who wish to... attract your attentions. I'm just saying that there's no need to give up completely on love because your first love died. You'll be very lonely if you do. All I'm asking is that you leave yourself open to the possibility, and we'll see what we can do from there."

"Who...?" Duo wondered, but there was a knock at the door, interrupting Duo. Heero peaked in, only opening the door enough to put his head and shoulder in.

"Duo, you wanted me to remind you when you're show came on," Heero said, staring directly at Duo. "I also put your popcorn in the microwave, so you wouldn't burn it again.

"Aw, Ro, you're the best!" Duo crowed, grinning madly. He jumped up, prepared to run out of the room, but I paused him.

"Duo?" I called. He halted just inside the door. "Think about what I've said," I told him, nodding my head toward Heero's retreating back. "You may find love in surprising places."

It seemed almost as though a light had gone on in Duo's head, and he stared at Heero's back for a moment longer than was polite, before smiling softly and nodding. Then he was gone, racing down the hall and toward his favorite TV show. If I wasn't wrong it was something along the lines of "Monster Trucks, Motorbikes, and Madness!" I listened to the sounds coming from down the hall for a moment, then went to find Wufei. I'd rather take a beating than watch that.


	103. Wufei 102

The night after Master Zechs informed me that he would be allowing me to teach Trowa basic reading and grammar, I headed to bed earlier than usual, though not by much. I was hoping to spend Sunday brushing up on my skills in preparation for tutoring Trowa. Not that I doubted my own skills or knowledge, simply that I wanted to be certain all my grammar and spellings were correct to teach Trowa. As English was not my native tongue it was easy for me to fall out of the habit of reading it and I found that I needed to constantly refresh my memory of its details.

Unfortunately, upon arrival at the room I had taken to sleeping in, I found Duo already in my bed, sound asleep. It seemed that, since he had finally gained the strength necessary to climb the stairs, to the terror of Heero and consternation of Zechs, he had managed in his exploring to find the bedrooms and had decided that they were much more welcoming than the medical room downstairs he had previously occupied. And his explorations earlier, including the three trips up and down all three flights of stairs, had clearly tired him out just as much as it had terrified Heero and annoyed Zechs. And so, he had fallen asleep in the nearest and most appealing bed, which had previously been mine. And, with Heero already undressing beside his own bed, I was left in the doorway to wonder where I was to sleep.

"It seems you've been kicked out," Zechs commented quietly, coming up behind me. I softly slipped the door closed and turned to him, blushing slightly. I didn't want to seem needy.

"It would seem so."

"Don't be upset at them. You know Heero worries. Besides, Duo snores. You wouldn't want to be stuck in the same room as he is."

"You're probably right. I suppose turnabout is fair play, though, so I'll sleep downstairs, if that's alright."

"I wouldn't, if I were you. Duo said that bed made his back ache, and I have to admit it's probably pretty old," Zechs admitted. I held in a sigh. Just what I needed. "Why don't you sleep with me?"

"E-excuse me?" I wondered, surprised.

"My bed is huge, and I can assure you it's extremely comfortable. Come on," he said, pulling me toward him room. I was hesitant, but I couldn't pull away, so I followed meekly. I was nervous about spending the night in Zechs's bed without the others, but he was still Zechs. This was still the Master who had protected me when I was delirious with drugs, and who had cuddled me when I was lucid enough to realize where I was. He wasn't acting any different, and he wasn't being threatening or intimidating like normal masters. So, while I was nervous, I was far from afraid.

And I didn't need to fear. Other than a few awkward moments as Zechs changed there was nothing overly odd about the night. I decided to sleep in my pants instead of risking waking Duo, for they were almost sleeping bottoms anyway, and I had gone shirtless with Zechs before, so I decided to wear the pants and nothing else. It was a little odd to have so much space in the bed, because I had always slept with Zechs and the other slaves, but it was kind of nice to be able to stretch out. I was hesitant to admit it, but it was nice to be with Zechs alone. I could lay in his arms and still stretch my legs out across the bed. And Zechs wasn't in the least bit reluctant to take me into his arms, though he didn't seem demanding or restraining, like other masters. He simply wanted me in his arms, and I could not bring myself to resist.

I woke up the next morning feeling better than I had in a while. I wasn't sure if it was from sleeping in someone's arms or merely the fact that the bed was large enough for me to stretch all my limbs in all directions and not touch the edge, but I felt well rested and charged. Which was good, because it was the day that Zechs intended to tell the others about the Collar assignments, and I was the only one who had seen them, so I would probably have to help Zechs settle some wounded prides.

Of course, I didn't doubt Zechs's choices. The selections I had wondered about he had quickly explained to me, and I had been amazed at his observations. From then on I hadn't questioned him, both because I knew I could trust his decisions and because I knew it was his decision and not mine. Strangely enough, though, he often asked my opinion on his ideas, as though he thought I could be of assistance. It was strange, but satisfying.

The others, on the other hand, might not be so trusting. I was especially worried about Duo, because one could never tell what would set him off, but anything that made him feel insecure or insufficient had a tendency to do it. And, since he had less Collar assignments than any of the others, I worried that he would take offence.

But there wasn't any use in projecting what would happen or who would get upset, so instead I opened my eyes, stretched, and got up. Zechs sometimes woke earlier than I did, and today was one of those days. As I descended the stairs I found that he was already in the kitchen, helping Trowa make breakfast.

"Ah, Wufei. We're almost done with breakfast, so could you go wake the others? And tell Heero to get the hell out of the gym before he explodes."

I nodded and padded off, first to retrieve Heero, who came easily and unresistantly, then Quatre, who came unresistantly, then to Duo, who came. By the time I managed to get back downstairs, nearly carrying Duo along with me, the others were already eating, and I had to hold myself back from tossing Duo into his chair. I managed, just barely, and both Duo and I began to eat.

It wasn't until the end of breakfast, when Zechs asked everyone to clear the dishes and sit back down, that the others realized something was going to happen. Usually once break fast was over we'd all scatter to do our own things. Quatre and Trowa would go outside, Heero would go to the gym, and Duo would plop in front of the TV to vegetate. Of course, some of Duo's laziness was because of his somewhat substandard health. Though he was close to normal, Duo still tired more easily than before and had less energy. But I doubted this would last more than a week, and I easily projected that he would be back to his irritating self by the coming weekend.

Of course, is was hard to tell that Duo was still below his normal energy level as he fidget nervously at the table, tapping his feet or squirming in his chair. I could help but role my eyes, and I pitied Heero, who was forced to sit next to him. Heero it didn't seem to bother, Heero, though, but I wasn't surprised. Heero had shown often lately that he was immune to most of Duo's behavior, and I often got the feeling that he even found it amusing. Quatre and Trowa, on the other hand, I was pretty sure were on my side from the looks they were giving Duo. I could only hope he didn't start to crack his knuckles again.

The attention was drawn away from Duo in the next moment though, as Zechs rose at the end of the table. Everyone looked at him, and there were emotions ranging from anxiousness to real fear in their eyes as Zechs prepared to speak.

"Alright, first everyone needs to stop looking at me like they're about to die," Zechs teased, an open smile on his face. No one laughed, but I did notice everyone relaxing a bit. "I just want to say that all of you have been doing very well lately and I'm very happy with how things have been going. But, if we want to be ready to enter Collar this year, things are going to have to change. I've already looked at the Collar events and decided which ones we'll be doing and who will be doing what. I want you to know that my judgements do not reflect on my opinion of you. I was only looking at your particular skills. So, without further ado, I'll read the selections. Heero, you'll be doing Math and Physics in the knowledge challenges, and riding, swimming, and street fighting in the physical challenges. Duo, you'll have all three of your previous challenges, Erotica, Exotic Dance, and Specialty Pleasures, along with the beauty competition. Quatre, you'll be doing cooking, gardening, flower arrangement, and art. Trowa, you have music, interpretive dance, guns, and survival. Wufei, I'm giving you the most because you have the most experience in Collar. You have classic dance, martial arts, fencing, chess, history, poetry, and calligraphy. If anyone has any questions I'll be willing to take them now," Zechs finished.

I counted to three, as the stunned others got their bearings, and chaos erupted.

"One at a time!" Zechs shouted as everyone began to talk at once. "Heero, you first.

"Master, I've never done street fighting," Heero stated.

"Yeah, and I'm great at it!" Duo snapped. "I should be fighting!"

"Fighting?" Zechs scoffed. "Sally won't clear you for running. But since you're so good at street fighting you can teach Heero how to do it, understand? Trowa, you next," Master said, cutting Duo of from giving a retort.

"I just don't understand," Trowa said quietly, his eyes shadowed with self-doubt. "I don't know how to play music, but I do know how to cook. Quatre doesn't know how to cook, but he plays very well. I... I just don't understand," Trowa said, keeping his eyes on the table. It was easy to see that he was hurt, probably thinking that Zechs, the master who meant so much to him, hadn't thought he was good enough to do cooking. Zechs sighed before continuing, at a soft and gentle tone meant to consol Trowa.

"None of this is because you aren't good enough. You are a very good cook, do you understand? I really do love your cooking. I'm giving Collar cooking to Quatre because it's a different style of cooking. It's only half about taste and half about presentation, where here we don't care about how it looks as long as it tastes good. I just think that Quatre, because of his background, would pick that up more easily than you would."

"And music?" Trowa questioned, raising his eyes slightly from the table.

"Again, it's a different style. Quatre's been trained on the violin and only for a few years, where others at Collar have studied for years. We need something that will stand out more, because they have more experience. So, instead of learning an instrument, you're going to learn to sing, because I think your voice will be extremely memorable. Alright?" Zechs asked, gaining a relieved nod from Trowa. "Quatre? Do you have anything you want to ask?"

"Why did I get all the girly stuff?" he asked sullenly. "I..."

"You are not yet healthy enough to do one of the sports. You also haven't had any physical training. I'm not doing this because I think you're weak, I'm doing it because I know you're strong enough to compete. If I thought you were weak you wouldn't have any of these competitions, because they're going to be rough no matter which one you get."

"I want to know why I can't have something better!" Duo snapped, not waiting for Zechs to finish with Quatre. "I've trained for survival all my life! I can survive in any city anywhere! Just because I've got a couple of bruises doesn't mean anything!"

"Duo, that's not..."

"Don't tell me that's not the reason you gave me all the froofroo events."

"Froofroo?" Zechs wondered.

"You know, all the soft events. The ones you don't have to do anything hard in."

"I had thought the sexual events would be quite challenging physically, so I was going to suggest that Heero could help you with it in exchange for lessons in street fighting."

"Well, yeah, that's stuff's hard, but not really hard. Not like survival."

"Duo, have you ever been to Earth?" Zechs asked, causing Duo to pause. I glanced around at the others, but none of them seemed to know what Zechs was leading up to either. Even Trowa seemed confused, which was only odd because he had been chosen for survival, and so it was assumed that he would know more about it.

"Once, for a couple days, with my first master. I was born in space, and it's not easy to get out of those cities. Why?"

"This is wilderness survival. Very few places in space bother to create any kind of landscape, and I don't know of any that have forests. You wouldn't be able to survive in an Earth wilderness, you must see that."

"Well... yeah. But then how can Trowa?" Duo asked, turning to Trowa. Trowa glanced at Zechs, it seemed to ask permission, and on receiving a nod turned back to Duo, though we were all waiting expectantly for his answer.

"I was born Earthside. In my youth I spent a lot of time with a group of mercenaries. Surviving in the wilderness and foraging for food were a part of life."

"So... then how did you get here?" Duo wondered.

"Eventually I left the mercenaries and joined up with a traveling circus. They went into space, fell on hard times, and here I am," Trowa finished, fiddling anxiously with the tablecloth. It was obvious he did not appreciate being the center of attention.

"I've spoken to each of you this week," Zechs said, pulling the attention away from Trowa," to learn you backgrounds and your strengths. I've based all of my decisions from these findings. Are there any more questions? Heero?"

"I have been assigned the riding competition. I have had several years of equestrian training and, with a few more months of training, I should be read to compete. But... Master, we don't have a horse," Heero said, looking as though he really did not want to be speaking. Indeed, from what I knew of Heero he had a very difficult time questioning Master's decisions.

Zechs, for his part, looked startled, then amused.

"I hadn't even thought about it. I own several horses of very good bloodlines, and I naturally assumed you'd be riding one of them. I didn't even think about how we're going to house the horse here," he said, then paused to look down at his papers. "I'd like you two take both hours of your riding lesson and work on the barn. Duo has a chore at the same time, so he can help you as well. As soon as the barn is in good shape we'll bring some of my horses here and you can begin to practice, alright?" Zechs said, smiling kindly. Heero nodded, relieved. "Well, then I think that's everything. For now at least we'll be going under the assumption that you'll all be sticking with your assignments. Baring illness or some other medical condition, I probably won't change them. So, good luck. You're all dismissed, feel free to enjoy the rest of your free time. You start your schedules tomorrow."

We all rose to leave, but I hesitated. Had Zechs already talked to Trowa about the lessons I was going to give him? I almost hoped so, because I wasn't sure Trowa would like being taught by another slave. I managed to catch Zechs' eye and he got the message and called to Trowa.

"Oh! Trowa, I need to speak to you and Wufei for a moment. It'll only take a minute," he assured as Trowa reluctantly left Quatre's side and returned to the room. "Quatre, you can go on ahead. I'll make sure Trowa catches up," Zechs assured, shooing Quatre out of the room. Quatre hesitated visibly, but was not confident enough to argue, so reluctantly stepped out of the room. Zechs gently closed the door behind him.

Trowa, meanwhile, was just as reluctant to stay as Quatre was to leave. Those two had become close lately, and while I only wished the best for them, close relationships could only lead to pain. But it wasn't my place to judge or meddle, so I kept my thoughts on the relationship to myself.

"Trowa," Zechs said, turning back. "I've called you here to discuss your education."

This took Trowa by surprise and he was visibly upset, a combination of fear and shame on his face. He glanced at me, suspicious, and I had to wonder if he had wanted Zechs took keep his lack of education a secret.

"Don't be that way," Zechs chided, laying a hand on his shoulder. "I've asked Wufei to help you and he's agreed, so don't be so cold to him."

"Help me?" Trowa wondered softly, turning to his master.

"Mm-hm. In a two hour slot every morning from nine to eleven Wufei will be tutoring you in reading and writing. You'll still have to keep up with your other lessons, but I think it's important for you to learn some basic grammatical skills."

"Yes, Master," Trowa replied, but he wasn't looking at Zechs. His eyes, instead, were fixed on me with a mix of gratitude and curiosity. I felt required to speak, so took a step closer.

"I can assure you that I am well qualified to teach most scholarly studies. I can't guarantee that it'll be easy, but I will teach you as much as you wish to learn."

"Thank you," Trowa whispered sincerely. I nodded, bowing slightly in respect, and couldn't help but smile. Being a teacher was one of my dreams, and though this wasn't how I expected to become one, I was fulfilling my dream none the less.


	104. Zechs 103

There were problems right away, but I expected nothing less. Before I could allow the boys to begin working on the barn I had to have it inspected. Of course, once it was inspected it was found that it had, not only rodents, but termites as well, and so it had to be fumigated. And once it was fumigated I was informed that all the hay and dust would have to be removed, less the horses eat it and die. And so I found that Heero's riding lessons would have to be pushed back at least two weeks.

Of course, I could have paid to have it completely redone in a few days, but I could not bring the team it would take to my estate because of the risk it posed to my mission. It was risky enough to bring the inspector and the exterminator in, and first they had to undergo a thorough background check, but I could not get permission to bring in a team. So the work would have to be done almost completely by the boys and myself. Of course, a little hard work would be good for them, and I doubted any of them would complain, but I did worry about the time Heero would lose in training. With Collar so little time until the start of Collar a week lost would be extremely costly. I could only hope Heero would be able to make it up.

The next problem came in the form of an irate phone call from Sally. Apparently she had gotten word that I had authorized some tutors and was completely appalled that I had forgotten to schedule a check-up for the boys first. Nor did she cut me any slack because I was right in the middle of redoing the barn and setting up the teachers. But, regardless, I set another day aside so that she could do her exams and gave the boys another day off of practice.

Next I realized that, though I had purchased the boys several pairs of clothes when they arrived, neither Heero, Wufei, nor Duo actually had work-out clothes. Heero had one pair of spandex shorts and a tank-top that he had been wearing every day and washing every night, so they were looking extremely haggard. Duo also had one pair of shorts, but they were the wrong size and dangerously baggy on him. I worried he would catch the shorts in one of the machines and, if not hurt himself, embarrass himself terribly. Wufei had two sets of tradition Chinese clothes, but they were both a bright white, which was difficult to wash if one worked hard enough to sweat. I got a distinct feeling that Wufei must have come from a very proper family, because he spent almost as much cleaning those clothes as he spent working out in them. It was useless, and I hoped buying him some clothes in a darker color would alleviate the problem.

Trowa and Quatre, on the other hand, did not need any new clothes, though I intended to buy them some eventually. All of Trowa's lessons could be performed in jeans, and most of them would not get him dirty. Quatre's lessons, on the other hand, would probably all get him dirty, but he would be able to wear an apron for most or all of them. So, though I would eventually buy them clothes, I would be able to wait until things had settled a bit.

So, for the first three days of training, nothing actually got done. One the first day the barn was inspected, and I didn't have any time from looking it over to call for the teachers. On the second day the barn was fumigated, and I received the previously mentioned delightful phone call from Sally. And, on the third day, Sally was scheduled to come and give each of the boys a physical.

The authorization papers for the tutors showed up on my desk the same day Sally planned to come for the exams. It seemed like a pretty decent series of events, because the barn was still airing out, so hopefully Sally would clear the boys to work on it tonight, and they could begin to work on it tomorrow around their lessons. I could only hope that she wouldn't find anything bad, because they would only delay us further, and I wasn't sure we could afford that.

Sally showed up around noon, hauling with her an entire truckload of medical equipment which she set up in the downstairs bedroom.

"I thought this was just a checkup?" I wondered as Sally hauled in what appeared to be a portable x-ray machine.

"You're boys have never had proper medical attention, you can't take them to the hospital, and they're going to be working out at a dangerous pace. Plus, they're teenage boys. There's a good chance that even if I don't find something today I'll need this stuff sometime in the future. Since you had an extra room anyway I decided just to set up here, so that I can handle anything from a fever to a broken bone. Hopefully this way we won't have to wait for the hospital to clear out if one of the boys gets hurt or sick."

"Well... you're certainly thinking ahead. But how did you get all of this stuff?"

"Hm? Oh, you mean these machines. Yeah... well... I kind of had to say that I was purchasing this for a clinic I was opening."

"A clinic? But wouldn't the merchandiser look into that? Don't you need a license to buy this kind of stuff?"

"Not if it's for animals."

"For what!" I couldn't help but snap. "You're looking at my boys with veterinary equipment?"

"Look, it's the same thing, only I don't need to fill out four thousand forms and wait six months to get these," Sally said, slamming down a box and turning to me. "If you have a better idea, please tell me now. Otherwise stop standing there gawking me and start bringing in boxes!" she snapped. Ouch. In the future I'd have to remember not to second guess Sally when she was holding a heavy box.

I called the boys and between the seven of us the van was soon empty and the spare room was full to the top with boxes. Sally shooed us out then and started setting up by herself. Quatre offered to go back and help her, but I led him away and probably saved his life. Sally could be insanely meticulous; it was better to let her set things up her own way.

Instead we split up and I went with Trowa and Quatre to make lunch. I was glad to find that, now that the competitions had been announced Trowa had stepped up to teach Quatre the basics of cooking while they waited for the teachers to arrive. I had previously been worried about jealousy between the two, but as I watched them in the kitchen my fears were laid to rest. Trowa doted on Quatre, and Quatre blushed with every attention Trowa paid him. The two tangoed around the kitchen in the age old ritual of courtship. It was refreshing to see it, even though I feared it would be crushed in its infancy by the circumstances. But I didn't have the heart to destroy the fledgling buds of their love, so I could only do my best to nurture and protect it. Besides, teenage romance was normal and even needed for growth and maturity. So I soon retired to my study to give the two some much needed privacy.

By the time lunch was done Sally had unpacked all the boxes and tossed them back into the van. Without all the packing materials the equipment fit nicely into the small room. Of course, it was impossible to see out of the back of the van because of all the packing material, but that was really Sally's problem, not mine.

We had lunch together, and when the boys had consumed a nearly impossible amount of food and Sally and I had stuffed ourselves with considerably less, we sat back and relaxed, stomachs full and content.

"Ahh..." Sally sighed. "I'm glad I don't come here often. I'd get so fat."

"I'm glad you enjoyed it, Ms. Sally," Quatre commented. "Trowa taught me how to make it this morning. He's a really great cook."

"That's wonderful."

"Quatre's being modest," I decided to put in, seeing that Trowa wanted to say something but was far too shy. I had to wonder if this would become a problem. Trowa was quiet around us, but he had never clammed up like he had since Sally walked in. He hadn't said more than three words the entire time she was here. I worried briefly that he might do the same thing at Collar, but I would cross that bridge when I came to it. "They're both good cooks."

"Hm. Well, anyway, now that the pleasant part is over we'd better get down to business," Sally said, straightening up in her seat. "I don't know if Zechs told you or not, but you each need a check-up and a complete physical. I'll take you one at a time in the new medical room. This may take a while, but once I get a thorough check-up over with you won't need another one for a month, and then they'll be quick exams instead of total physical, alright? So I'll take Duo first, if that's alright."

"Why me? I see you enough as it is," Duo pouted.

"That's exactly why you're first. I need to make sure you're healing properly, and that will probably take a little longer than the others. Everyone else can go about their business, but stay within hearing distance."

"Will you need me?" I wondered.

"No, probably not."

"Ah. Well, then I'll be in my study if you need me."

With that everyone split up, Sally and Duo going to her examining room, the rest of the boys heading in the direction of the den, and I went across the hall to my study. There was a lot of paperwork to look at dealing with my accounts and investments, as always, but more now that I had spent such large sums on my new mission. It was also a convenient excuse to stay close to the examining room, in case Sally should have any problems.

About an hour and a half later I finally drew myself away from papers to stretch and check in on the boys' progress. My timing was extremely lucky, because I almost bumped into Heero. He was the last to be examined, and he had just finished. Sally followed him out of the room, carrying with her a clipboard and a small case. I assumed she would be heading out soon, and commented on it.

"Not quite yet," Sally said, looking over a chart as she walked into the den where the boys, like normal teenagers, were crowded around the TV. "There's still one more thing we need to do, then I'll be out of your hair."

"And what would that be?" I wondered, secretly relieved to have everything go so smoothly.

"It seems, my dear Zechs, that some of your slaves are not up to code on their vaccinations. Now, Heero and Wufei have had everything they need and Quatre has had shots I don't even recognize. Illium Hydroxide? Good lord Quatre, isn't that a preservative?"

"I... I-uh-I don't think so..."

"Well, whatever it is, you've certainly had enough shots for one lifetime. Now, that only leaves Trowa and Duo. The rest of you can step outside for a moment," she said. I nodded to the other three, who slowly departed, leaving the four of us alone. "Duo has had all his shots, but needs boosters on everything, and Trowa is so susceptible to everything that I thought about putting him in quarantine. If he had been on a public plane when you came back I would have to suggest it. But, anyway, I've compressed all the shots into one tube, so neither of you will have to be stuck more than once, alright? I'll take Duo first," Sally said. While she spoke she pulled a filled syringe out of her case. Duo came forward unhesitatingly, pushing up his sleeves.

"You couldn't have put it in with all that other crap you gave me? You're just a sadist, aren't you?"

"Shut up and give me your arm," Sally growled teasingly. She had grown fond of Duo in the hospital, even though he had been unconscious most of the time. Go figure.

Duo grumbled some more but obediently stuck out his arm. Sally had been giving injections for years, so she was quick and nearly painless. Duo didn't even flinch, though that could be attributed to either of them.

"Alright then," Sally said, sitting back and disposing of the needle. "That only leaves one more and that's... Trowa? Where'd he go?" she wondered. It was only then that I heard the pounding of feet down the hall, and the realization dawned on me.

Trowa was terrified of needles.

I was out of my chair a second later, giving chase to my fleeing slave. I hadn't even thought about Trowa's fear of needles because I hadn't equated the needles that had been in his body with the medical needles Sally would use. Unfortunately it seemed that his mind couldn't see a difference between the two, and so he had take the opportunity Duo's shot gave him and slipped away. He probably hadn't even thought about where he would run too, just running in blind panic.

But I was older, taller, and in better health. Trowa's head start allowed him to get into the yard, but I was at his heels by the time he got to the door. He tossed a backwards glance over his shoulder and saw me, giving him an extra boost of adrenaline. He widened the gap between us, but I could see he was winded. Running full tilt, first through a house that size and now through the yard, was not easy, especially for the two of us, because we were bigger than the rest and couldn't take the turns so easily.

As he crossed the yard, panting and frightened, I noticed Quatre ahead of us, probably heading out to work in the barn as his chore. Despite the noise we were making he had yet to notice us.

Quatre!" I shouted. "Grab Trowa!" I yelled. Quatre turned, stunned, toward us. His eyes widened at the picture we created. It was probably something from his nightmares, the image of his best friend being chased down at a dead run by his master. So I wasn't overly surprised when he froze up, though I was a bit annoyed. Trowa was a teenager, and though I was certainly healthier than he was, I was also older. He was really making me feel old enough to have my first heart attack.

But it didn't really matter, because Trowa had used up the last of his adrenaline, and I was quickly gaining on him. In another second I was only inches away from him, and I managed to find a reserve of energy that allowed me to jump at Trowa and tackle him to the ground. He struggled like a wild man, trying to get away from me, but he simply wasn't big enough to shake me. On the other hand, I wasn't strong enough to pin and lift his thrashing body at the same time. So we were at an impasse.

I realized, after enduring a minute of Trowa's thrashing, that my slave was just too frightened to be allowed to calm on his own. At this rate he'd hurt himself before he lost all of his energy, and I couldn't allow that.

"Trowa," I growled, leaning in close to his ear. "Trowa, you will stop immediately," I commanded, my voice harsh and demanding. Trowa froze, not exactly calming, but close enough to what I needed. "Do not move, or you will be punished," I told him, then rose, putting Trowa over my shoulder. He did not struggle, but I could hear his panting breaths coming much too quickly. But there was nothing I could do about it while we walked, so I simply hurried to the house.


	105. Zechs 104

Everything went well as we entered the house, up to our approach to the spare room, where Sally was filling up another syringe. Unfortunately, she was doing it in the hall, in plain sight, where Trowa could see her.

With a scream of terror, Trowa panicked again and struggled so hard that we both fell to the ground. I managed to keep him from hurting himself in the fall, but once we were on the ground he managed to get free of my hold. His scream attracted the other boys, who, along with Sally, scared him away from the door and toward the other end of the hall, where he ran up the stairs. I managed get back on my feet just a moment after he ran, so was right behind him as he stumbled up the stairs. At the top of the stairs I was able to get beside him, but didn't dare grab him, as terrified as he was. Instead I herded him into the master bedroom. He went willingly enough, then followed the walls like a blind man until he realized he was trapped. Then he settled down to sob in a corner.

With Trowa trapped, if not subdued, I was able to sit down on the bed and catch my breath, alert in case he were to make another dash for freedom. I knew the part that came next would be just as strenuous as the rest, so I gave myself a minute to recuperate while Sally came up the stairs and cautiously knocked on the door.

"Is he alright?" she asked quietly, still standing in the hall.

"Other than the panicking, he's fine," I replied softly, so that Trowa would not hear us over the sounds of his own panting. "But I don't think you'll be able to give him the shot without his panicking again."

"Should I sedate him?"

"And how exactly would you go about doing that? He's so scared right now that we won't be able to get near him, even if you could put him out without using a needle, which you can't because you didn't bring the proper sedative."

"Well excuse me! I thought this was going to be a routine checkup. Don't blame me because that one went manic!" Sally hissed, pointing at Trowa.

"Don't get upset with him. He's been through a lot, and a fear of needles is perfectly understandable for him," I chided. "If you saw a man with a buthcer's knife covered in blood you'd run, wouldn't you? It's the same for him."

"It's lovely that you understand where he's coming from, but that doesn't help our current situation."

"I'll just have to grab him. He's not that strong, I'm sure I can hold him long enough for you to prick him. Do you have the sedative with you, just in case?"

"I do, but it's an injection also, as you've already pointed out, so it won't be easy using it either."

"That's fine. Let's do this before I get feeling back in my legs," I quipped, rising as Sally came in and locked the door behind her. Trowa didn't look up as we did this, but he tensed as we approached. The, when I was about an arm's length away, he sprang from his place on the floor and tried to dart toward the door, but I managed to grab him around the middle. He struggled in my hold, but I managed to turn him so that he was facing me and pulled him against me, pinning his arms to his sides. He sobbed against my shoulder, but was tired out by the previous chases and couldn't get loose.

"Hush," I soothed, running my hands down his back as Sally prepared his arm again. "It's just a little needle. I promise, it'll be in and out in a second," I tried to sooth, but I doubt Trowa heard me. His harsh sobs escalated to panting shrieks as the needle approached his arm and he stopped breathing as the injection was administered, gasping for breath again as the needle was removed.

"There, see?" Sally quipped, trying to cheer him up. "It's all over. And such a big fuss, too."

But Trowa wasn't listening. He had started sobbing again, and he was still gasping for breath like before. The fact that it was over hadn't calmed him a bit, and in another second I realized that he wasn't going to calm any time soon. Casting a glance at Sally I found that she had come to the same realization, and I gently pulled Trowa tight into my embrace once again as she readied the sedative.

"Just one more," I cooed as he began to struggle again. This time, as the needle approached, he gave a serious effort to getting free of my grasp, but again was unable. Sally administered the sedative quickly, and in another minute Trowa slumped in my arms, asleep.

"Poor thing," Sally muttered, softly petting Trowa's hair as he slept against my chest. I was loathe to put him down, because seeing him in such a panicked state had shaken me more than I cared to admit. I sighed and held him close, wondering if I'd ever be able to take the fear out of him. Out of any of them.

There was a knock at the door only a few minutes later, and Duo's voice come through the hard wood.

"Um... Master? Can I bring Quatre in? He felt Trowa's fear suddenly stop and it's really freaking him out. Is Trowa alright? I know he freaked, but... Anyway, Wufei and Heero have Quat downstairs, so if you don't want him to do what Trowa just did you'd better show him that T-boy's okay."

"Bring Quatre up, Duo," I ordered, laying Trowa on the bed. I did not want to have another incoherent teen on my hands.

"You're the boss-man!" Duo quipped, trotting down the stairs loudly.

"You'd never know what that boy had gone through from his attitude," Sally commented, staring at the closed door.

"I don't know about that," I replied, settling Trowa on the bed and covering him. "I think he's hiding a lot right now because he's still afraid of me. Give him some time and you'll probably see that he's more like the other boys than you'd expect," I told her, and just had time to finish my comment before Quatre exploded through the door, followed closely by the other three boys.

"Trowa!" he cried.

"Quatre, calm down!" I snapped, grabbing his shoulder. "There's no need to get upset. Trowa had a bad scare due to the needles, so I had Sally give him a light sedative. I don't want you waking him up, alright?"

"Can I... Can I touch him?" he wondered. I nodded, knowing that his empathy was somehow stronger when he had physical contact. More slowly this time, Quatre approached the bed, and I was able to see that he had tear-tracks down his face. He knelt delicately by the bed, then reached down carefully and took Trowa's hand in his own. With a sigh of relief he brought it up to rub against his face, and I could see the tension pour out of him. He cared deeply for Trowa, that much was evident.

"Come now," I soothed gently after a few moments, "Let's let Trowa get some sleep," I said, pulling him gently away from the bed. He had a hard time letting go of Trowa, and he watched the other boy over his shoulder until we were out of the room.

"Are you alright?" I asked as we descended the stairs together.

"Hm?" he wondered, still a bit distracted.

"You had quite a scare earlier. Perhaps you should go to bed as well," I suggested.

"No, I'm quite alright. I was just worried, that's all," he said, then waited a moment before continuing. "Are you mad at me? For not stopping Trowa like you asked."

"Well, I can't say I was pleased, but-..."

"Zechs, can I speak to you for a moment," Sally interrupted. Her bag was in her hand and I assumed she was ready to leave.

"Ah- yes. I'll walk you out. Quatre, we'll continue this later," I said quickly, moving to the doorway beside Sally. I was fairly certain that I was about to get a lecture, but I knew it was better to take it like a man than to put it off and make Sally even angrier. And, true to my expectations, Sally laid into me as soon as we got out the door.

"I am assuming that you will be seeking professional help for these boys," she began, her tone telling me that she was well aware that I was not and that this was unacceptable.

"You more than anyone should know why I can't do that. Une would never clear it."

"Of course she would. She'll do anything for this mission."

"And who would I go to, hm? Which counselor do you know who specializes in sex-slaves?"

"There are many well-qualified rape and abuse counselors who would be completely acceptable for this mission. You're just making excuses, Zechs," Sally snapped.

"And what good would it do?" I hissed back.

"What?" Sally growled.

"What good, exactly, would it do for any of the boys to talk to someone about problems that neither they nor I could fix? Hm? You know what would help Trowa? Telling him that no one will ever hurt him with a needle again. You know why I can't tell him that? Because it might not be true! You know what helps a rape victim heal? Making them feel safe! How the hell am I supposed to make them feel safe, Sally? How am I supposed to fix them when I might have to rape them tomorrow? How am I supposed to gain their trust if I have to beat them? How can I expect them to act normal if I can't offer them anything normal? What do you want me to do?" I yelled. It was only after a moment of silence that I realized how badly I had just gone off on my friend, who really only wanted to help.

"Sally, I'm so-..."

"Do you feel better?" she asked, looking at the car as she fumbled to unlock the door.

"What?"

"Do you feel better? Obviously you've been holding that inside for a while now. Do you feel better, getting it all out?"

"I do, but I don't know if it helped. I still don't know what to do. But I shouldn't have gone off on you like that. I'm sorry."

"No, I'm sorry," Sally huffed, opening the door and turning to face me. "I should have realized how much those boys mean to you, and I shouldn't have questioned you. I know why we can't help them, but it just makes me so angry, seeing someone so young struggling so hard. They don't deserve this."

"No, they don't, and I'm going to see to it that they get out of this, but it's going to take some time. Until then I just have to do what I can to fulfill the mission and heal them, and hope that it's enough. But I'm glad you asked me. Having all this on my shoulders, with no one to give an opinion... It's made me question almost everything I do with these boys. That kind of uncertainty could get someone killed," I said. We both understood that "someone" would either be myself or one of the boys, but it was too terrible a thought to voice out loud.

"Then I'll stop by every week and give you an earful," Sally promised teasingly as she climbed in the van.

"Good lord, woman, I'll die!" I teased dramatically.

"Yeah, well you'll die a lot quicker if you don't move out of the way. I'll back right over you," she teased closing the door. I laughed and headed to the house, taking her threat seriously. I had nothing against female drivers, but Sally couldn't understand the difference between speed bump and pedestrian. I smiled as I watched Sally pull away and, with such good humor in me, I couldn't bring myself to return to the house just yet. Instead, I laid back on the grass and watched the clouds roll by for almost an hour. If I went back to the house I knew there would be something to worry about, something to push the boys toward or protect them from. It was a constant strain, much like being the parent of five at the same time as starting out five new relationships. The pressure was starting to get to me, so I let myself drift for just a little bit, and felt all that much better for it. I could hardly remember a time since Duo got hurt that I had smiled, and that was far too long to go without any fun. Eventually I returned to the house, my good humor restored, and headed to my study.

Where my good humor immediately disappeared.

I found, to my great consternation and amazement, Quatre, kneeling on the floor, his shirt gone and his eyes blindfolded, with a riding crop between his teeth.

"What the hell?" I wondered in astonishment. I glanced around only to find that none of the others where anywhere near us. Coming to the conclusion that Quatre had mastermind this little escaped by himself, I quietly closed the door and turned to my slave.

The first thing I did was to remove the crop from his mouth, so that he could speak. He opened his mouth readily as he felt my touch on the crop, but he tensed his body, expecting an immediate attack. Instead, I set the crop on my desk, lest I be tempted to brain him with it. Make no mistake, I was far from being angry enough to beat him, but I wasn't sure how close I was to being annoyed enough to smack him upside the head with the damn thing. As I set the crop aside I noticed that it was old and worn, so it had probably come out of the barn or tool shed. I also noticed it was clean and was grateful that Quatre at least had the foresight to wash it before putting it in his mouth. Once the crop was set aside I turned to Quatre, calmly asking him, "What in the world are you doing?"

Quatre opened his lips immediately, but didn't speak. Instead, he gave a small huffing sound, more of a squeak than anything. He closed his mouth swallowed, licked his lips, and tried again.

"I-... I'm awaiting punishment, at your leisure," he replied shakily.

"And what have you done to merit a punishment of this caliber?" I asked him, keeping my voice firm though I wanted to comfort him, for he was obviously afraid.

"I have betrayed you," he admitted, and I froze. Did he know? Had I been revealed?

"Betrayed me how?" I asked breathlessly, barely breathing as I awaited his answer.

"You-you ordered me to seize Trowa, and I disobeyed. I let my friendship with Trowa overpower my loyalty to you. I deserve to be punished," he replied, and I let out my breath in a relieve rush. I should have known Quatre would get so upset over trivial things.

And yet, as relieved as I was, I realized that the situation with Quatre was also important. He had, indeed, disobeyed my order, though he had not quite betrayed my trust. But that was not the most serious offense. He had committed a worse offense by choosing to force my punishment instead of allowing me to choose when and where. He had, in truth, been attempting to force me to punish him, and that could not be allowed. First and foremost as their master I needed to have control, and only later could I gain trust and obedience. Quatre had, unwittingly, attempted to take that control away.

"Get up," I commanded sternly, and Quatre nearly jumped to his feet. Then, without giving myself time to think, I yanked down his pants and bent him over.

It was hardest for me to think of punishing Quatre not only because of his youthful, angelic looks, or because of his submissive, accepting personality, but also because of his frailness and the abuse I had seen him take. Always in the back of my mind was the worry that I would treat him too roughly and he would break. But he was young, mostly healthy, and strong despite his circumstances, as were the others, and I needed to stop thinking of him differently. I doubted that I'd be able to completely change my attitude toward him, but I needed to start somewhere, and the punishment seemed like as god a place as any. So, I did what I would have done had any of the others been in his place.


	106. Quatre 105

_Removed for content._

I wasn't ready for the hand that cracked across my backside. I jumped, so startled that I tried to struggle out of Master's hold, but he was having none of it. He held me still with one hand as he delivered nine more stinging blows with the other. I was panting by the time he was finished with tears streaking down my face. But a spanking was certainly better than being taken dry or being beaten with the crop. It was certainly better than I deserved.

When he finished he had me step out of my pants and let me lay on the small sofa as I collected myself. I laid on my side, my head in my hands as I tried to stop my panting, so I could only hear Master leave the room and return with a towel for me to wipe my face with. I couldn't look at him as he handed it to me, I was so ashamed with myself for betraying the trust of such an amazing master. I had thought Master would leave once he saw that I was calming, but he merely set at his desk and watched me in silence for several moments.

"Quatre, do you know why you were just punished?" he asked after a bit.

"Because I betrayed you. I chose my friendship with Trowa over my servitude to you and I disobeyed you when you told me to capture him," I said emotionlessly, knowing that it had been wrong, though I couldn't seem to get my emotions to match this knowledge. No matter how many times I looked at the scene in my memory, I couldn't seem to find it in myself to capture Trowa. I knew it was wrong because I knew Master was trying to help, I knew Trowa couldn't get away, I knew it was my duty to obey Master, and I trusted Master. But no matter what, every time I saw Trowa's terrified face in my memory all that logic was gone, and I all I could do was stare in fear.

"You were punished now, not because you disobeyed me earlier, but because you usurping my power by forcing me to punish you," Master said. I stopped dead in shock, not even breathing. Could it be that by trying to atone for my earlier error I had made yet another mistake? How could I be so useless as to even mess up a punishment?

"I'm so sorry, Master," I whispered brokenly. "It was not my place to decide such things. Please, I'm so sorry."

"Enough," Master commanded, but his voice was soft yet strong. "You have already been punished for your error in judgement, and I am certain you will not make the same mistake again. However, you also seem to have another mistake which I cannot ignore. You did disobey me when I commanded you to catch Trowa, and if I had not caught him Trowa might have been seriously hurt. So, as punishment for that you will have two hours of your free time removed every day for the next week, and you will have to do chores during that time. Do you understand?" he asked.

"No," I whispered softly, "I don't understand at all. I don't understand why you're being so kind to me, after all the bad things I've done."

Instead of answering, Master sighed and rose from his seat. He came over to me and I tensed, expecting another spanking, but he merely sat down beside me and pulled me into his lap as much as he could without hurting me.

"Do you think I should want to hurt you?" he asked softly, but I couldn't answer. Should he? Probably. Did I want him to? Of course not. Did he need to? Maybe. I couldn't really say. I was only a slave. I couldn't think like a master.

"I don't, you know," he said finally, giving up on my answer.

"You're not my child or my pet. You're my lover and my subordinate, and as the first I need your strength, and as the second I need your obedience. I know you're strong, or I never would have chosen you to become one of my own. And you're beautiful, anyone can see that. But you won't be of any use to me if you stop obeying orders and begin to think of yourself as the master. I know you were afraid for Trowa and that's why you didn't obey me. You didn't think about what you were doing, so you didn't purposefully disobey me, and so your punishment fits that. But you weren't afraid when you decided to come here to make me punish you, and you had plenty of time to think about it. For a worse crime you deserve a worse punishment, little one, and that's why I spanked you. I don't want to use pain as a punishment, but I won't deny how useful it is in teaching a lesson."

"I am sorry," I told him again, knowing just how badly I had messed up. "I really didn't mean to do anything wrong."

"I know, kitten, but your intent doesn't matter so much here as what you actually did, and what you actually did was wrong. And, anyway, you're getting off light, so don't try to get out of it. One week of two extra hours of chores which you can spend fixing the barn. Now, you'd better get to the kitchen. You have to make dinner tonight without Trowa's help," Master told me.

"Thank you," I whispered as Master began to rise. "You are far too kind to me."

"I'm sure I'm not," he responded lightly, though I could sense a hidden seriousness in him, "I'm sure you deserve quite a bit more kindness, but you'll just have to make due with me for now," he told me, then left me alone to redress.

As it turned out, I later found that Master's punishment was not so kind at all. It was extremely light, but I almost would have preferred another spanking instead. I had gotten used to having a lot of free time every day to spend with the others, and suddenly having almost all of it gone for chores, lessons, and now my punishment was very difficult. On top of that it was also very hard to go outside and work while everyone else was sitting inside having fun. I knew it was my own fault, and I knew it was a light punishment, but that still couldn't keep me from sulking my was out to the barn for two hours every night. And to make matters worse Master told Trowa that he wasn't allowed to keep me company while I was being punished, saying that it wouldn't be a punishment if I had help. He was right, of course, but that fact didn't make me feel better at all.


	107. Trowa 106

I only had problems with one of my events.

I loved survival because it came naturally to me and allowed me to spend time out doors. The wilderness had been my home for many years, so I found that I knew intuitively many of the concepts that were key to survival. The things that I didn't know I learned from watching survival videos, which were interesting in that they showed many climates and areas that I had never seen. The differences in climate and foliage on one planet intrigued me.

A barely needed to study in the gun section. One of my jobs while with the mercenaries was to clean and repair all of their weapons, and since they were most active in the night I was often nearly blind while doing it. According to Master I would receive a box of weapons every week, which I would have to be able to name, describe, disassemble, and reassemble blindfolded by the end of the week. I had only mastered six weapons so far, but none of the guns so far were new to me. Honestly, I doubted that I would see any completely new weapons.

Even the dance competition, which I was at first hesitant about, was not terrible. Wufei gave me lessons in the basics of dance, and again I used videos to teach me the rest. It wasn't all that different from the acrobatics I had done in the circus. And the moves were very similar in style to my acrobatics as well. In all honesty, I enjoyed having the chance to stretch myself and work my body again. The feel of the music flowing through me, bending my body as it would, was something I had missed.

The only class that Master seemed to have made an error in was music. I liked music, and the idea of singing wasn't intolerable to me, but every time I opened my mouth only the tiniest of sounds came out. My music instructor was an old man with a pinched face and a lack of patience. But no matter how much he yelled at me, I could never raise my voice higher than normal speech. And the more he yelled, the harder it was for me to speak at all, and the quieter my voice got.

Perhaps the biggest reason I worried about failing in this event was that since Master had gotten me home, since he had made my purchase honestly, he had never once initiated sexual contact with me. I wondered if, despite what Master had seemed like on our first night, he had actually been disgusted with me. He never seemed offended by any part of me and he never asked me to change anything, so I couldn't figure out what was wrong with me, but I was almost certain that there had to be something. I hadn't been trained as a Collar slave and Master had only given me any events because he was short on time and low on slaves. If I didn't show my worth this year I was almost certain that he would get a better trained slave by next year and I would return to being a bed slave. But what good is a bed slave who cannot stir his master's blood? It was a long way off, but the fear of being sold preyed heavily on me, so content was I with my present life. I had tasted the world's cruelty, and I couldn't bare to think of having it again.

I tried to talk with Quatre about it, but it was difficult because he was, as Duo put it, "grounded." We still had some time together, but I was very shy, even around him, so it took me a long time to work up the courage to even speak with him. It was hard for me to initiate or lead a conversation, so most of the time I simply let Quatre lead, because he was very good at it. It took me three days to broach the subject with Quatre, and when I did he was reluctant to speak about it. Eventually he admitted that he had never been with Master Zechs and that he, too, worried about being sold, but I quickly assured him that I doubted he would be. Quatre was extremely beautiful, an eloquent speaker, and a decent Collar slave. He was making great progress in all of his events. Master would have to be crazy to get rid of such a talented slave. And if Master had intended Quatre for Collar even when he initially bought him, then it wasn't all that odd that he did not sleep with him. Many masters abstained from distracting their slaves from their events with sex, so it wasn't odd for a Collar slave to be celibate.

But a Master always had some slaves who were not Collar slaves to satisfy their pleasures. I knew Quatre wasn't sleeping with Master. I doubted Wufei had allowed him to get that close. I knew Master and Duo couldn't stand each other. And I was well aware that Heero had been trained primarily as a Collar slave. So the optimum choice of a bed partner was me. So why hadn't Master taken me? Why did he keep Wufei in his bed? Were they having sex? Or did Master merely keep Wufei close to make sure he didn't try to escape? Could he perhaps be taking Heero? But Heero had a large number of physical events, which intercourse would interfere with. I had only one physical task, so why hadn't I been called to Master's bed?

These questions preyed on my mind as the week progressed, and I began to find myself gravitating toward shadows more and more. The need to become invisible began to take hold, and my music lessons became harder and harder. By Friday I could barely make a noise and my teacher got up half way through the lesson and walked out. I remained there the full length of our time, looking out the window and wondering how soon I would be sent away.

That night, Master asked me to meet him in his study after dinner. I nodded hollowly, a great lethargy settling over my body. It was like something had drained all the energy from my body. I was colorless and mute even as Quatre and Duo tried to speak with me during dinner. I felt Master's eyes on my face more than once, but I wouldn't look up. I couldn't stand to see recrimination in those eyes, so I watched my food with a morbid intensity all through dinner. When it was over, I took more time than necessary to wash the dishes, then trudged down the hall as if my shoes were glued to the floor. But eventually I reached my destination anyway.

Master was at his desk working on papers when I entered. He seemed deep in thought, and I stood in the doorway for several minutes before he noticed me. When he did, he smiled softly and put down his pen, dropping everything to pay attention to me. I suddenly felt unworthy.

"Trowa, don't stand in the doorway. Come in and sit down," he told me, but there was nothing recriminating in his tone. Still, again I felt I had done the wrong thing, and I could not lift my eyes to him as I closed the door and sat down on the couch across from him.

"You know why you're here," Master stated. It wasn't a question, but I nodded anyway.

"I have not been performing well in my music lessons," I replied in monotone, not revealing any of the emotions that were warring inside me. I could barely manage to face them myself.

"You haven't been performing at all," Master said, but again it was not accusatory, merely stating a fact. "You're music instructor says you can barely manage to speak above a whisper, and he had advised me to have a physician examine you, but Sally has already assured me that there is nothing wrong with your voice. And there have been certain other time in which you were very loud indeed," Master said, his tone implying that he was talking about intercourse. "So why is it that you so suddenly cannot speak?"

It was hard to breathe as he looked at me, hard to move as I felt his eyes on me , watching me, waiting for weakness. I slipped off the couch and onto my knees, putting my head against the floor, trying to hide from those eyes nearly as much as I was trying to show my submission.

"I'm sorry, master," I whispered. "I think you should take me off of the music event. I could do everyone's chores to make up for it. I could... I co-... I'm sorry," I finished lamely, my voice deserting me under the power of my fear.

I heard Master move, but I didn't dare to raise my head. I tensed, afraid of a beating, but my mind was afraid of not getting one. At least if he beat me he would make me try again. My greatest fear was the sound of the door opening, and his footsteps fading into the distance. Then I would know for sure that I was condemned.

Neither happened. I heard Master rise, but he settled next to me in the next moment, turning me to my side, pillowing my head on his lap. I kept my eyes securely closed, still trying to hide, but I couldn't ignore the feel of Master's lips on my forehead. I opened by eyes, but there was none of the cold, unfeeling anger I had expected. There was only Master, who had taken me from Hell with the Duke and brought me here, to paradise.

"I don't know," I admitted brokenly as Master stroked my hair. "I don't know why I can't speak in front of the teacher. I can't bare his eyes on me. When people look at me, I get hurt. Please, give me a different event."

"I would, but you're a victim of your own talent," Master replied. "Even your tutor admits that you have an amazing voice, if only you would use it more. I've never heard him pay a false compliment, Trowa, and if he's not ready to give up neither am I. We just need to find away around your fear."

"It's impossible," I sighed. We've already tried putting up a blind so that no one is looking at me, but it's no use. I just can't sing if someone is listening."

"That would be useless anyway," Master admitted, "because you'll be singing live in front of an audience at Collar. No, we need to get you over this fear. Perhaps..." Master trailed, and I could see he was deep in thought. In a moment he shook himself out of it and turned to me, smiling. "You can run along, then. Relax for the weekend and we'll see what we can do about your problem on Monday," he said, getting up and helping me to my feet. "Oh, and tell Duo not to stay up to late. He, Wufei, and Heero are going shopping with Sally tomorrow. They'll need all the energy they can get," he said, turning back to his papers. I nodded, though he didn't glance at me, and left. The feeling of impending doom was not completely gone, but it had been pushed further off. Whatever would happen, I had at least gained a two day reprieve.


	108. Trowa 107

I showed up for music class at the same time as usual on Monday. It was right after my schooling with Wufei, which I usually enjoyed, but today I couldn't seem to focus on memorizing my letters. It didn't help that Duo had recently been added to the class, since Master had found that he could barely read or write, and became a distraction almost immediately. Wufei usually spent half the class just trying to get Duo to focus, which usually annoyed me, but today I was grateful for because I couldn't concentrate anyway. My mind was filled with thoughts of how I could make myself speak and the fear that I would soon run out of chances to prove my worth to Master. I hardly did any work the entire class, but Wufei didn't scold me. I think he knew of my problems, for Master often spoke to him in his office late at night and asked his opinions.

Wufei was older than the rest of us, with a better education and more skills, so it seemed only natural that Master would confide in him. There was no favoritism shown to him other than that, so there were no feelings of jealousy among the rest of us. Actually Wufei became something of a counselor, because the others often went to Wufei with a problem they didn't feel comfortable going to Master with. Wufei was the one to advise Quatre to ask Master to buy calcium supplements when Quatre revealed that he didn't like milk. He was also the one to entreat Master to purchase several products necessary to make intercourse possible and pleasurable for both parties. Heero and I, as the only two who had actually had sex with master, worried most about this until we decided to ask Wufei, who immediately relayed the request to Master, who solved the problem by the next day. And there were countless other small tasks that Wufei guided us on that were too small or trivial for Master's attention.

So, because of the responsibility he held by being Master's advisor and our guide, Wufei was often privy to knowledge about us or about Master's plans that he otherwise would not be. Which is why, when Wufei turned to me at the end of our lesson and touched my shoulder, smiling and saying not to worry, that Master had everything in hand, I was more relieved than I had anticipated. Wufei seemed confident and unworried, though there was a strange embarrassment about him and an odd blush on his cheeks. Still, it wasn't like Wufei to make reassurances lightly, so I was much more relaxed when I departed for music class than I would have been otherwise.

When I arrived for music class I found that a screen had been placed between myself and the piano, so that I could not see my tutor and he could not see me. I was not surprised, for we had attempted this plan before, with minimal results. The mats on the floor were odd, but I assumed that I would be expected to sit for this practice for some reason. I had also been blindfolded, intoxicated, and recorded in attempts to get me to sing, but none of them had been able to give the desired results. I sighed, my heart falling at the idea of another disastrous practice.

Someone came up behind me then and slipped a blindfold over my eyes. I sighed as the hands fastened it securely behind my head.

"We've tried both of these methods before," I stated softly, "and neither worked. I don't see what help combining them will be," I protested.

"Oh, I highly doubt you've tried this method before," Master's amused voice came from behind me. I started, uncertain at this sudden change. I did not want Master present to see my failure, but there was nothing I could do to make him leave. "Don't get upset," Master whispered soothingly into my ear. "I've talked with your tutor and I just want to try this one last experiment. I won't be upset if it doesn't work out, I promise. I know you're trying your best, but won't you make this one last attempt for me?" he asked. I nodded somberly. I would do anything Master asked of me.

_Removed for content._


	109. Zechs 108

It seemed that almost as soon as Trowa's problems started to be resolved Duo's happened. Perhaps the difference was that Trowa was doing his best to overcome his problems, and Duo was encouraging his. Trowa was trying to please me, where Duo was trying to spite me.

It was hard to understand Duo at times. He was calmer and semi-rational with the other slaves. I wouldn't call him stable, but he did seem like a normally unstable teenager. By watching his interactions with the others from the shadows I could see that he had a bright personality, and that he liked to play and tease. His antics even brought a smile to my face sometimes, though it was bitter with the knowledge that the moment I stepped into the room he would become a spitting wolverine.

Oh, he could behave himself sometimes, but there were others where he went simply psychotic and Heero would have to physically remove him from the room, though more often he would run out of the room himself. He would randomly have mood swings or be set off by an innocent comment I made. The other boys would likewise set him off once in a while, but it was much more often that I did it, and he never, to my knowledge, went off if I wasn't present. It was worse if I tried to get close to him, and he generally panicked if I touched him. I did notice that, for all his teasing, he didn't like to be surprised or startled. He usually covered it well, and he never asked the others to stop, but they all got the message fairly quickly from his first terrified gasp. He didn't like shows of affection, either, which struck me as odd because of how friendly he was. He would accept hugs from Quatre, but he tensed up, and I could tell from Quatre's face that Duo was feeling some bad emotions. Quatre learned to keep his distance fairly quickly. The others weren't very tactile, so they never tried. I was well aware of his response if I were to try it, so I kept my distance.

Still, I couldn't bring myself to blame Duo. He had, after all, be tortured and tormented by his masters and fellow slaves for years. So the distrust, especially of me, I could understand and, to some extent, forgive. What actually caused problems was his blatant disregard of my authority. Whenever I asked him to do something he suddenly became a two-year-old, and would demand that I "make him." I was hesitant at first to use force with him, and even more so to use punishment, but repeated demands that I "make him" eventually garnered the expected result.

Unfortunately, Duo had been hardened by years of torture at the hands of merciless masters. The slaps and spankings I gave out couldn't come close, and I was neither willing nor able to do more. I say willing because I was partially frightened that in using the same methods his former masters did I would only enhance his sense that we were all the same. And I say able because Sally would have my head if I damaged any of the body she worked so hard to fix. And so, stalemate.

At first I tried to ignore it, hoping that he would eventually settle and grow out of it. That didn't last long, though, because I couldn't very well let him shirk his chores while strictly enforcing them with the other boys. There was also a risk of jealousy if I treated Duo differently. I knew my boys were all good at heart, but if they constantly saw Duo being allowed to break the rules they were forced to follow I would understand their being affronted. So after three days of yelling, threatening, and commanding Duo to do the dishes, mow the lawn, and help Heero with the barn, I was finally ready to give up.

It was Heero who convinced me not to. By watching Duo I soon found that I was not the only one curious about him, but I soon caught the stares that Heero cast him. It was only around Duo that I saw Heero relax, and it seemed that only Duo could get Heero to engage in activities of play. And Heero, for his part, was smitten, intrigued, and entertained by Duo. It was puppy love, perhaps, but I didn't doubt the depth of Heero's feelings for the long-haired slave. Separating Duo from the rest of the boys would be detrimental to Heero's social growth. Heero was already shy and antisocial, I worried that taking Duo away would cause him to retreat into himself. Not only that, but he would certainly feel as though he had failed in his responsibility for Duo if I had to remove Duo from the house.

And then, of course, there arose the question of what I would do with Duo were I to pull him away from the rest of the slaves. I would, most certainly, not send him back to Collar to be abused and killed, but I worried about sending him to one of my ranches. I had trustworthy personnel who could look after and even babysit him, but I wasn't sure how they'd do if he tried to run away. I wasn't completely sure they could keep him from escaping, and it was imperative that I maintain respect at Collar. Losing a slave would destroy that respect and set the mission back possibly by years.

So after about a week of struggling to get him to do even the most trivial tasks, I knew I needed to get another opinion. And it seemed only logical to bring in the only other person keeping a close eye on Duo. And so I set up a meeting with Heero to discuss Duo's recent behavior.

I chose a time when I knew Duo would be occupied because Duo tended to get nervous and paranoid when he believed he was being excluded. I didn't want to see how bad he would get if he knew we were talking about him. So I waited until after dinner, when Quatre and Trowa would wash the dishes, Wufei would meditate, and Duo would usually watch wrestling with Heero. I managed to distract him from Heero's absence by adding a bag of chocolate covered raisins. Duo loved them as long as I got them out of the bag before he saw them so he didn't know there were raisins in them, and it made me feeling better about him eating chocolate if there was something healthy in them.

But, regardless, with the introduction of this new element Duo barely noticed Heero's absence. Heero, however, took this fact with a detached humor and didn't seem at all hurt. We watched him for a moment to be sure that he was entranced with his show and his candy, then moved down the hall to my office. Heero seemed relaxed, but overly so, as if things were moving too quickly for him to keep up with. We entered my office and Heero sat heavily in the chair across from my desk while I sat in my customary place behind the desk. We probably looked like a principal and a naughty student.

"You know why I wanted to meet with you. Duo has no respect for me, and nothing I've done has managed to gain it. I've taken away all the amenities and playthings that this house has to offer, but Duo's been used to nothing, not even basic human necessities like food and the freedom to move around, so nothing I do can come close. It's the same with physical punishments. There's nothing that I can do that hasn't already been done a hundred times over. Without respect or a way to control him I simply can't keep Duo around. If we don't come up with a way to maintain some type of control over him... I won't be able to keep him," I admitted.

"No amount of force will cause Duo to collapse. The more you push him, the more he pushes back," Heero said, echoing my fears.

"Then it's useless," I sighed, rubbing my forehead.

"No," Heero stated. "You merely cannot push him to maintain control."

"Then how do you propose to do it?"

"You have to use someone else."

"What? That's ridiculous!"

"It's not," he replied, leaning toward me, his face more serious than I'd seen it before. "Listen. I've been thinking about this a lot lately. Duo's stubborn and he sometimes does things that are completely irrational, like trying to microwave six bags of popcorn at the same time," Heero said, referring to a rather disastrous escapade in the kitchen. We were still finding popcorn kernels on top of the cupboards. I smiled fondly at the incident, but it was a passing sentiment, and the seriousness of the mood quickly stole it from me. Heero continued. "But one thing Duo has been consistent in protecting."

"The TV," I said, nodding solemnly. "But I've already tried taking that away from him."

"Not the TV," Heero growled, rolling his eyes. "Me."

"Ah! Of course! He does seem to be rather fond of you."

"It's probably not just me. He did attempt to protect Quatre from getting hurt by convincing him not to tell you about his pills."

"I remember that. But Quatre certainly would have been in more trouble if I had found out before he told me."

"Yes, but Duo didn't know that. He was certain that you would hurt him if you found out."

"That's true, but I think Duo has proven himself more attached to you. He did attack me when he thought I was going to hurt you."

"Yes. He also tried to protect me when the guards attacked us. Which is why I should be his substitute."

"Substitute?"

"Hn. The punishments won't have any effect on him, so..."

"Oh no! Hell no! I'm not going to punish you for his behavior!"

"It's the only way. Duo has been conditioned not to care about what happens to his body as long as he can maintain his pride. That doesn't apply when it comes to someone else, though, so the only way to actually get through to him is to use someone else as a bridge."

"And what if it doesn't work, hm? You'll become his scapegoat, his whipping boy. He's not above you in importance, Heero, he's your equal. I won't give him special treatment."

"Why not?" Heero wondered, glaring at me. "You've given special treatment to Trowa."

His words startled and stopped me. I hadn't been aware that the others were aware of my sessions with Trowa. I suppose I should have anticipated it, as I had given Trowa a session every day that week, but I had thought we were being discrete.

"How... How did you find out?"

"I heard the piano playing while I study for my academic competitions. When I heard strangled moans coming from the room I assumed that he was injured or hurt and I went to find out. I thought his teacher might be abusing him, because I often heard the teacher chastising him. That's when I found the two of you. I didn't want to interrupt, so I just closed the door and went back to my room."

"I see," I said, processing that information. "Do the others...?"

"No. As far as I know I'm the only one who knows."

"Why didn't you say anything?"

"What should I have said? It is not my place to question you."

"Well... yes... I suppose, but you could have said something. I would have explained."

"Explained what?"

"That I was only helping Trowa with his voice lessons."

"Oh," Heero replied, his turn to be surprised. "Then you desire none of us?"

"Excuse me?"

"I assumed, since you were with Trowa so often, that you had developed a taste for him, but if this is not the case, and you haven't taken any other slave, do you have no desire for us?"

"No, that's not it," I defended, blushing. "It's just... It's been so busy lately, and so stressful, that I suppose I just didn't feel the need to take anyone. It's nothing against you. But that's not what we're discussing at all. We're discussing you're insane idea of punishing you in the place of Duo."

"It's not insane, it's logical and necessary."

"It's not necessary."

"It's optimal, then."

"What do you get out of this?" I wondered. "Why would you risk so much?"

Heero hesitated for a long time with this one, deep in thought. For a minute I thought he might back down, but I should have known better.

"Do I... Do I really need to get something out of this?" He wondered, turning his eyes to stare at the opposite wall. "Aren't we... I mean, it feels like... it feels like... like we're a family. I want to... I want to defend my family, that's all," he said, his voice barely above a whisper.

How could I argue? I was not made of stone. If this was the closest thing Heero and the others could get to a family, what right did I have to deny them the power to protect it, to keep it united?

"How will we do this?" I asked. Heero smiled at me in relief, and I couldn't help but smile back.

"You will have to punish me as severely as you would him."

"But, Heero, if he were physically well enough I'd probably whip him for some of the things he's done. Especially with his tendency for cursing."

"I know."

"That's ridiculous. You didn't do anything wrong, so actually hurting you is idiotic. We'll simply fake it," I responded.

"We can't. It's too big of a risk. If Duo finds that we've cheated against him he'll never trust us again, and there will be more no way to control him. It has to be real."

"No."

"Master..."

"No, Heero, I won't. I'm not going to hurt you for Duo's choices, and I'm certainly not going to punish you as though you did something. No."

"Then there's no point in doing it at all!" Heero snapped, finally losing his cool. "I'd rather not do this at all than lose Duo's trust and any chance of actually helping him!"

"Then we won't do it at all! That's what I wanted anyway!"

"I don't want to lose him!" Heero shouted, jumping to his feet.

"I don't want to lose you!" I yelled, and we both froze.

"I won't-... I... I trust you. You won't hurt me. I mean, you will, but... I can take it," he said, moving closer to me. I looked away from him, knowing those eyes would be the demise of my argument, but he fell to his knees in front of me, and I couldn't help but look. He rubbed his head against my knee, looking pleadingly up at me, and I knew I couldn't hold out.

"Alright," I sighed, bringing my head down to rest against his. "But remember, I'm doing this under severe duress, and if I don't see some severe improvement I'm pulling the plug. I'm not playing around with this, Heero."

"I know," He replied softly. "I'm sorry for asking this."

"Don't be. You're only trying to protect your friend. I can't blame you for that, but I don't have to like it."


	110. Heero 109

We didn't have to wait long to put our plan into motion. Duo, for some reason, particularly disliked working in the barn, but he didn't have a logical reason to be excused from the chore, so he wasn't. It wasn't more than four days later that Duo and Master got into another of their screaming fights, and I decided that it was time to implement my plan.

"And what are you going to do about it, huh?" Duo screamed down the hall.

"I'm going to kick your butt the entire way around the house if you keep shirking your chores! And watch your language!" Master screamed back, advancing on Duo, who backpedaled into the hall.

"Well screw you!"

"Watch your freaking language!"

"You're a good role model!"

"When you're my age you can swear as much as you like, while you live here you'll watch your mouth!" Master hissed.

"Sorry, but I don't think I'll ever be that old!"

"This is your last damn chance! Now I'm telling you, go pull down the boards on the left wall of barn or I'm going to punish you severely!"

"Ooh! What are you going to do? Are you going to ground me from the TV again? Oh no! I'll die! Anything but that!" Duo mocked with a sneer. Master was pissed, glaring fiercely, and he advanced on Duo until the both of them were down the hall and at the back door. He closed the space between them until they were nose to nose.

"If you were strong enough to take it, I'd whip you until you screamed," he growled. It was the first time in that conversation that I actually saw Duo look frightened, but, as usual, it was quickly replaced with anger. Duo covered his fright with anger, putting a dark glare on his face.

"Screw you," he growled, then fled out the back door. Master gave a strangled growl and made to follow, but I grabbed his arm.

"Master, I think it's time."

"Ah..." he started, surprised. "I... Are you sure?" he asked. I nodded.

"We can't continue like this. This behavior wouldn't be acceptable even if Duo weren't a slave," I told him. "You can't allow this level of disrespect to happen. If Duo's behavior got out to the other masters... you'd lose all standing in the Collar circles," I stated. Master looked pensive, deep lines of stress showing in his face. He brought his hands up to rub his eyes, as though he had a headache, then finally sighed and dropped his hand.

"Alright. Let's go."

Duo was in the yard, his back to the barn and facing the house. I... I could barely stand to look at him. He was tense, nearly shaking with anger and fear, and yet he still managed to stand his ground. It gave me a new respect for him, and I couldn't stand to look at his, knowing the pain we were about to cause him. I wasn't worried about my own pain. I trusted Master, and his reluctance only reassured me. I didn't relish facing the whip again, but I had already faced it in the gauntlet, and this couldn't possibly be any worse than that.

Instead of staying to witness the ensuing fight, I hurried to the barn and retrieved Master's whip. By the time I came Back, Duo was backed up against the house, spitting and snarling like a wolverine. Master was in front of him looking composed by comparison, fully recovered from his earlier outburst and back in control of himself. I was glad. I had been slightly worried that Master might be angry enough to lose control of the whip. I didn't want any more scars.

"...Then just fucking do it!" Duo yelled, looking toward me. "One of your pets brought you your weapon and I'm about as helpless as a person can get, so go ahead!"

"I've told you already, you're not strong enough for that. I can't beat you."

"So..." Duo hesitated, angry but confused. "So what's with the whip?"

"Heero... Heero has offered to take your place."

It was Duo's turn, this time, to freeze in shock. It seemed a trend lately, I mused as I watched the two square off. Master was composing himself, prepared to keep his temper at all costs. Duo, on the other hand, was working himself into a full frenzy.

"There is nothing you can do to change my mind," Master stated calmly.

"I don't want to change your mind, you asshole! I want to change your face!" Duo screamed.

"Regardless of you physical condition I will defend myself if you attempt tp attack. I will assure you, though, that any attempt at violence on your part would be futile. I will put you down."

"Duo," I interjected, "Please, stop."

I don't think I could have shocked Duo more if I had turned green and grown another head. He just stared at me like he couldn't believe the words that had come from my mouth.

"Heero..." he panted. "I... This is crazy! Don't you see? This-... This is just sick!" he reasoned, moving closer to me. "Look, the others are gone. If I," he said, dropping his voice and swinging his eyes toward Master, "...Then you could get away, alright?"

"And where would I go?" I snapped, enraged at his stupidity. "You think that would help me? You think running would make things better?"

"Look at him Heero! He knows how to use a god damned whip!" Duo screamed, beginning to get frantic. "He'll kill you! He'll kill you, you fucker, and just to make a point to me!" he screamed, going from panicked to nearly insane.

"He won't," I replied calmly, trying not to let him upset me. "He won't, and you and I both know it. Please, don't make this any worse for me," I said. My words had a sobering effect on Duo, his eyes cleared and he moaned, then fell to his knees.

"Please," he begged in a whisper, then, gaining no response from me, turned to Master. "Please!"

"Duo... there must be consequences for your actions." Master said.

"These aren't consequences to me, damn you!"

"Aren't they?" Master questioned, and all Duo could do was huff.

"Look," Duo tried again. "Look, I've learned my lesson," he said, moving closer to Master. "I'll... I'll behave, I promise. I'll do anything you want," he said, barely an inch away from Master, peering up at him with tear-rimmed eyes.

I saw Master beginning to waver, but I knew better. Duo had made similar promises when Master had punished him before. It was never exactly a lie, but Duo had a way with twisting words. Master had on several occasions asked him to clean the barn only to find that he had "wanted" Duo to watch TV. And always with a perfectly rational explanation from Duo.

I knew Master was ready to call this off, and I knew that if he did Duo would think he was only bluffing. Master was reluctant, but with Duo testing his limits like this there was no room to back down. So I pulled my shirt off and placed my hands against the wall.

"Enough of this. It's time," I told them. For a moment I wasn't sure which I was punishing, both Duo and Master looked stricken. Tears spilled from Duo's eyes and Master looked slightly ill, but Master recovered more quickly. He shook himself, still looking sick, and approached me.

"Stand back, Duo," Master ordered.

"No!" Duo screamed, jumping up from the ground and throwing himself behind me. His chest was a mere inch from my back, successfully preventing Master from hitting me. "It's not his fault!"

"Duo, stop it!" I hissed, trying to push him away.

"I won't! I won't lose you!"

"Duo, enough!" I snapped, pushing Duo to the ground. "Master won't injure me. You know that. Now behave yourself."

Duo stared at me from the ground, looking like he was torn between crying his eyes out and yelling at me. Master took the choice away from him, striking me with the whip. I gave an annoyed grunt. He could have warned me.

Master gave me six hits, all barely hard enough to bruise. It was much lighter than Duo should have received, but I wasn't sure it was lighter than what he would have received. Master didn't like using the whip on his slaves at all, so it was likely that he would have administered the same, lighter hits to Duo, at least the first time. By the time it was finished, I was panting, but Duo was sobbing brokenly.

"It's over," Master said softly after the last hit. He sounded tense and upset. "Duo, I want you to go to your room."

"But..." Duo protested, pausing in his crying, though his face was still soaked from previous tears.

"Go to your room, damn you!"

Duo gave a panicked sob and jumped to his feet, running for the house. Master sighed and I heard him wrap up the whip before he approached me. I did not turn and he did not speak. Instead, he came up slowly and placed his fingertips on the first of my new bruises, tracing it to the bottom before moving to the others. When he had traced them all, he stopped and rested his cheek against my hair.

"We're not doing that again," Master whispered hoarsely. I nodded. It.. It was too much. I hadn't thought that it would affect Duo or Master this strongly. I didn't want to hurt either of them.

"I think he'll behave now," I assured.

"I don't give a damn if he behaves or not," Master snapped, "You're not going through this again. I'll sell his ass first."

"You don't mean that," I said, more of a question than a statement. I didn't want to believe that Master would sell us. To my relief, Master sighed and shook his head.

"No, I wouldn't, but I will send him away. There are others who can keep him in line while I train the rest of you."

"Yes, Master," I replied, reassured. Master chuckled.

"Great. I didn't want you more obedient. You're too obedient as it is."

"Ah... I'm sorry?" I wondered teasingly. Master only laughed and pulled me away from the wall, picking up my shirt as he lead me toward the house.

"Come on," Master laughed, "Let's put something on those bruises, hmm?"

"I would like that very much."


	111. Duo 110

I don't know why I pushed Zechs like I did. I mean, I knew it was stupid. I had been beaten, tortured, raped, and drugged for years, and now I was making a big deal about cleaning the house? Even I knew it was idiotic, especially with all the freedoms I was being given.

But there was another part of me, a deeper, darker part, that couldn't live like that. "What happens," he said, "when you slip up, like you eventually will, and this guy turns into another one of those asshole masters who beat you? Hm? Are you just going to be careful not to slip up? Will you just make yourself perfect so that you don't ever make him mad? Then you'll be just as whipped as the rest of the slaves! You think he's being nice by giving you all these toys, but really he's just getting you addicted to nice things so that he can take them away. Instead of being afraid of pain, you'll be afraid of a lack of pleasure. Know what that makes you? Whipped and insane." I knew better than to listen. I knew this voice was just screaming my insecurities. But, in the end, I did listen. I pushed Zechs both to prove to myself that I wasn't scared, that I hadn't been beaten, and to see just how far I could go before Zechs snapped. I was trying to test my limits, so to say, but the only way to find out where they ended was to cross them and deal with the consequences on the other side. A vicious circle, ne? In order to find my boundaries I would have to exceed them.

I have to give Zechs credit. He found an answer to nearly unsolvable problem. I mean, my life has made it so that there are nearly no punishments that have any kind of affect on me, and yet Zechs found the one that would make me bend. I had to give him credit, even if I did think he was an asshole.

I walked on eggshells for the next few days. I tiptoed around the house, quiet as a mouse, trying to avoid Master and barely speaking to Heero. I was terrified that Zechs would see me do something wrong and punish Heero, and I just couldn't face Heero hating me. So I didn't face him at all.

It wasn't like I hadn't been through this before. Other masters had punished all of the slaves if I got in trouble. I had been outcast and alone in those houses, constantly watched and tormented. Those were the times I had been most alone, when I had most wanted to give up. At least in this house I had found friends, and even if Heero began to hate me I was sure the others would at least tolerate me. And it wasn't even that Master was really hurting Heero, because Heero could take the kind of punishment Even with his harsh punishments, Zechs was still very light.

It just... it was different. I was so used to watching out only for myself, and for so long I hadn't had a single person that I could call a friend, that now I was desperate to keep the few friends that I had. In the same way, I was terrified that Zechs would take them away, or take me away from them. And when I got scared, I got angry. So I lashed out. I tried to hurt him before he could hurt me. But I never meant to get Heero involved.

It was Heero's involvement that really made me quit. Zechs and I could have gone on bickering forever without ever gaining headway to one side or the other if Heero hadn't been involved. But I wouldn't sacrifice Heero, who had always stuck his neck out for me, for some petty fears and even pettier bickering. I mean, doing the dishes and moping the floor was nothing to me. Just... nothing.

It was the barn that was still something. The barn was probably what had spawned the first fit of arguing, which had then spiraled out of control. No matter what I did, I just couldn't shake this bad feeling every time I went in there. The barn was huge, but I would suddenly feel claustrophobic once inside. It would begin to feel like I couldn't breathe. I didn't want to say anything, though, because I knew I'd either sound nuts or scared. I mean, if I said the barn was haunted I'd certainly sound nuts, and if I said it was creepy I'd just sound like a wimp. So I just walked out, didn't say anything, and got in my first fight with Zechs.

After Heero became my whipping boy, though, there was no escaping. I wouldn't risk making Zechs mad by simply avoiding the chore, and I felt less than ever that I could talk to Zechs about it. So, on the day after our punishment, Heero and I found ourselves standing outside the barn, ready to start a few hours of semi-strenuous work. Heero started for the barn, but I hesitated.

"You're not going to start this again, are you?" Heero wondered, turning back to me. I could tell instantly that he was annoyed, and I didn't blame him.

"Nah," I said, brushing it off. "I won't leave you alone in there, buddy. It's just..." I trailed, staring at the dark, uncovered windows of the old barn. They looked like gaping mouths.

"It's just what?" Heero snapped, still kind of pissed. As I said, it wasn't like I could blame him.

"Don't you... I mean, do you ever get the creeps while you're in there?" I asked, hoping he'd say yes, but betting he'd say no. Still, if Heero felt the same way, then maybe I could convince him to talk to Zechs. If anyone could convince Zechs that we shouldn't be working on the barn, it would be Heero. However, as I predicted, Heero frowned and shook his head.

"That's ridiculous," he replied. "The building is stable and solid. There is no reason for any feelings of pessimism."

"I'm not being pessimistic, I'm saying it's creepy. Like... like it's haunted or something," I said, making a last ditch effort not to go into the barn. This time, Heero actually growled.

"Stop being an idiot," he snapped angrily. "If we don't start soon Master is going to come out. We don't have time for your shenanigans."

"Fine," I sighed and followed as he stormed into the barn.

Our job, once inside, was to pull down old, rotten boards in preparation to put up the new ones. The infected boards were each marked with a red X and were scattered through the first and second floors. I took the bottom floor and began to pry the boards down with a crowbar, while Heero took the top floor and the hammer.

Heero may have called me stupid, but I still couldn't shake the eerie feeling of something being wrong as I began to take the boards down. The air was too thick, yet it was somehow stifling just as it was also too thin and hard to breathe. I was edgy and jumpy, and I had a terrible time focusing on the task at hand. The blood was pounding in my ears and I had a terrible headache, but I knew Heero and I would both be in trouble if I just quit, so I forced myself to work where I had previously given up. By focusing only on the movements of the crowbar and the boards and by counting down how many I had left to go I was able to keep myself moving.

At least, that is, until whatever force lurked in the old, dark barn suddenly attacked, and I found it impossible to breathe.

I grabbed my throat instantly, but there was nothing around it that I could touch. I struggled and coughed, managing only to get tiny gasps of breath. I tried to yell for Heero but I couldn't get the oxygen needed for more than a whimper. My vision began to blur and my ears rang as I stumbled around, trying to get oxygen into my lungs. Eventually I fell and knocked something heavy over, but I wasn't overly concerned with what it was at the moment. I writhed on the ground just trying to fill my burning lungs.

The sound, though, must have alerted Heero to my distress, because in the next moment I felt his hand on my shoulder. He forced me to my knees, yelling something that I couldn't make out. In the next minute he grabbed me by the waist and struggled to haul me to the house. He was still screaming, but the ringing in my ears once again drowned it out. My vision began going gray as the world lurched to and fro with Heero's panicked movements. In another moment there were more hands, and more voices, but I was too far gone to recognize them. I was too far gone to care.


	112. Zechs 111

I should have known Duo would not wait long to cause more trouble. In fact, I was almost relieved. While having him quiet and docile for a few while was a nice, it was also unnerving. It was odd, because I hated to fight with him, but I almost hated not fighting with him more. At least when he fought me he had been vibrant and alive. He had laughed and played just as hard as he had fought me, and he had gotten just as excited as he got angry. It had been a constant wavering between two extremes, but it was exciting and challenging. Every day was an adventure of some kind.

In defeating Duo I had destroyed that sense of adventure and excitement. I had hoped to get Duo to submit, but I never intended to destroy his spirit. Watching him slink around the house like a beaten dog... it was sickening.

But there was nothing I could do. I had no choice but to act against Duo's disrespect, and now that the act was done I could only ride the waves of my action and hope that things settled again. It seemed, once again, I had no option when it came to Duo.

So it was a relief to see Duo in the middle of a situation again, even if the situation was his own choking. I was in my office when it happened, and Heero came through the back of the house. I was quite a raucous, and by the time I got there all the other boys had already gathered around Duo, who was thrashing and trying to breathe.

"What happened here?" I demanded. Unfortunately I forgot to specify a name, and so got five responses and not a single answer.

"He can't breathe!"

"They were in the barn!"

"Get Sally!"

"Help!"

"Ungh! Kaff!"

The last response, which was made by Duo, was actually the most informative. It told me that there was nothing lodged in his throat, nor was his esophagus completely closed. It did not, however, tell me what had happened. But it seemed that saving his life was probably more important than that, so I quit asking questions and headed for Heero.

"Heero, follow me. Wufei, call Sally. The rest of you get out of the way," I demanded, pulling Duo's twisting form from Heero's arms. Then I turned toward the medical room, Duo in my arms and Heero at my heels.

"What happened?" I demanded, rushing down the hall.

"I don't know!" Heero gasped. "He-... he was complaining about the barn being... being haunted. He said he felt strange inside it. I thought... I though he was being dumb and then I found him... like this!"

I nodded, pausing a moment for Heero to open the door, then rushed into the room and put Duo on the table.

"Keep him on the table," I demanded of Heero. Duo's thrashing had become weaker, but I still didn't doubt he would throw himself from the table in his panicked struggles. Heero hesitated a moment, then gave Duo his weight to help hold him still.

I began searching Sally's well organized shelves, careful not to work myself into panic. I would have to keep myself calm to properly care for Duo. Meanwhile, I could hear Heero cooing to Duo on the other side of the room, trying to keep him calm. I managed to find the syringes, then quickly filled it from the drugs in the small refrigerator. Duo was too busy chocking to see what I was doing, but he did tense drastically as I injected him with the muscle relaxant. In another moment he relaxed, but he was still struggling for air.

I began my search again, but this time I had no idea where to look for the equipment I needed. Several minutes passed, all the while Duo's struggles were growing weaker and Heero's words were growing more frantic.

"Come on, Sally," I whispered to myself. "I know you think of everything, so where did you put it?"

Finally, on the lowest shelf of the cupboard next to the bed, I found it. To anyone else it would merely look like a small machine connected by a plastic tube to a medical breathing mask, but to me it looked like salvation. Quickly I pulled the machine out and plugged it in, relief filling me at the sound of its quiet hum. Quickly I put the mask over Duo's nose and mouth, holding him still as he struggled to pull it off.

"Leave it be," I commanded. "If you don't want to die."

Duo glared at me in response, but settled to gasping for breath.

"Don't gasp," I told him. "Try to breathe slowly."

"Is he... Will he be alright?" Heero whispered.

"He should be fine," I responded, but kept a close eye on him none the less neither of us relaxed for several minutes, until Duo began to breathe normally.

"What happened?" Heero finally ventured. "It... I mean... I don't believe in ghosts, but..."

"Don't be ridiculous. That barn isn't haunted, nor was this reaction caused by anything supernatural."

"Then what...?"

"I... would rather not say. I'm not a doctor, so it would only be speculation."

"Come now, Zechs," Sally said, surprising us both as she entered the room. "We both know what happened. I'm surprised you didn't catch it earlier."

"He blamed all the symptoms on some ridiculous idea of the barn being haunted. It wasn't unlikely that he would escape the procedure without any side effects, so I didn't feel the need to pursue it."

"Don't get defensive. I'm not accusing you of missing something. Even the best doctors can't make a diagnosis if the patient won't tell them what's wrong. And it looks like Duo didn't know what was going on either. So, as with most teens, this all seems to be a case of miscommunication," Sally said, dropping her bag to check Duo's vitals.

"Uh..." Heero interjected, "Excuse me, but what's going on? What's wrong with Duo?"

"Oh, nothing serious," Sally said offhandedly. "It seems that, due to all the damage to his lungs, Duo has contracted asthma. It's probably a pretty severe case if he has this kind of reaction, but it's not really a big deal. With modern technology we can cure him in about a week with breathing treatments."

"Speaking of which," I interjected, "Does the hospital have the equipment to do the treatments?"

"Yep. Like everything else down there, it's not state of the art, but it'll do the job just fine. We should start as soon as possible. Actually, if no one has any objections, I'd like to take him with me later tonight to run some tests and start the first treatment. Once he's recovered, of course."

"Of course. I agree, though, sooner would be better than later. We're running low on time for Duo to practice for Collar. He will still be able to compete, won't he?"

"I don't see why not, as long as the treatments go well. But we'll see how he feels at the end of the week. I assume you know how to deal with the side effects of the treatments, correct?"

"Side effects?" Heero wondered, still holding the unresponsive Duo's hand.

"Nothing major," Sally responded with a reassuring smile, "but the treatments can cause severe dryness in the mouth and throat. Nothing a hot shower and a cup of tea won't cure."

"I can make sure he gets that," Heero said seriously.

"No, you can't," I replied. Heero looked slightly stricken.

"Why not?"

"You'll be sleeping. Like before, we have to get Duo into the hospital when the least people are there to see him. I assume he'll be leaving somewhere around one in the morning for the treatments and won't return until nearly four. Does that sound about right, Sally?"

"Sounds good to me. I can get the night nurse to help me with the procedure, but I probably won't even need her help."

"But..." Heero protested.

"I'm not going to give in on this," I warned, giving Heero a mild glare. "We've wasted too much time to have you tired during your training. I assure you, I can take care of Duo when he comes back. He'll be in the bed next to you by the time you wake up," I assured him, placing a hand on Duo's shoulder. Duo glared and pulled away. I smiled at his guts. Even after a near death experience, Duo was still a brat.


	113. Duo 112

Being back at the hospital sucked. I mean, I hate being sick anyway, and this was worse because I actually felt fine going in and crappy going out. If it weren't for Zechs and Sally insisting, I would have been fine just letting it go. I mean, I didn't get sick anywhere else and, while Heero assured me the barn wasn't haunted, I really didn't mind staying out of it, for safety's sake. But Sally warned me that if left untreated my asthma could only worsen and Zechs made sure I knew I had no say in the matter, so I figured I'd take the easy road and go along with it.

Unfortunately, the easy road was filled with bumps, rocks, and this huge-ass machine that sucked the living daylights out of you. I mean, come on, how can putting a mask full of smoke over somebody's face make anything better? But Sally assured me that it did and her Norwegian nurse assured me that if I didn't cooperate I would be tied to the chair. Being outweighed by probably a couple hundred pounds, I smiled and complied.

Each session took about an hour to complete and only required me to sit in the chair and breathe deeply. The sessions were held at two in the morning to get me the least exposure possible, so I was always pretty tired and grumpy, as were Sally and the nurse. I would have fallen asleep, but the coughing, chocking, and burning sensations prevented it. Not that I wanted to fall asleep in the hospital anyway. I always worried that Sally would find something else wrong with me while I slept and I wake to find her doing brain surgery on me or something.

The aftereffects of the sessions weren't any more pleasant than the sessions themselves. My throat and nose would be horribly, terribly dry and sensitive to the cold, so I had to drink several glasses of warm water before I could stand it. There would a horrible taste in the back of my mouth, something like a combination of steel and bleach, that very few things would wash away. My sense of smell would be completely gone until about lunch time the next day, which made eating breakfast a boring and unfulfilling task. Not that I often woke before lunch those last couple days. The coupling of the treatments and staying up all night left me completely drained of energy during the week of my treatments and for several days after. And, finally, my nose and throat would remain sore and dry until the end of my sessions, no matter what I did. The only time I gained any reprieve from the ache of painful breathing was in a hot shower or relaxing in the Jacuzzi. Little to say I found myself taking more baths in that week than I did for the rest of the month.

But, like the rest of my life, not even the baths could be completely free from flaws. It wasn't that I didn't like the showers, because the old house somehow had brand new showers with benches and a never ending hot water supply. On the streets a hot shower was a luxury that we could never afford, and in Collar any kind of luxury I received almost always meant that I would get fucked in the very near future. I indulged in long, hot showers when ever I needed one with Master Zechs, but I had never felt the need to jump in eight times a day just to take advantage of them. I mean, not with all the other seemingly free luxuries the place had to offer. And Zechs had assured me before I even left for my first session that I could jump in the shower any time I wanted. He had even granted me unlimited access to the Jacuzzi, stipulating that someone had to be there with me to make sure I didn't drown or something. But, really, how hard is it to convince any hardworking teen to jump in a hottub for a few hours? Most of the time I had at least two others in there with me, and there was always someone willing to go if they didn't have chores or work to do. I even had all my chores suspended for as long as I was having treatments. I mean, it seems perfect, right? The only problem was the early morning baths.

I had to leave for the hospital at half past twelve to get to the hospital by one, but half an hour's ride really wasn't all that bad. It took another half an hour to setup the equipment and check everything before the treatments could begin, then the treatment lasted a full hour. Even after the treatment was over I had to stay for another half an hour. Sally wanted to make sure I wouldn't up and die, I guess, and she kept me at the hospital in case I tried. Then there was another half an hour ride in the ambulance to get me home. I was usually so tired by that time that I had to be wheeled downstairs, and I always fell asleep on the way back. My only solace was that Zechs stayed home. I didn't want him treating me like any more of a child than he already did. The driver, though, who was the same guy who drove Zechs' limo, seemed to understand my plight. Whatever the reason, he never said anything, to me or to Zechs.

Despite the fact that I got back at three in the morning, Zechs was always awake and waiting when we pulled up, like he didn't trust me to find my way to the door. I mean, really, how far did he think I'd get in my condition if I tried to run? Those last couple nights, though, I actually appreciated his efforts because I didn't even have the energy to get out of the car. Zechs had to carry me into the house and put me to bed like a damned infant. He seemed okay with it, and he never made a big deal about it, but damned if it didn't smart on my pride. I wasn't an invalid, regardless of current health records to the contrary.

The very worst part, the part that really stung my pride, was getting a bath in the asshole's bathroom and having to leave the door unlocked. I never took a bath with a master around if I could help it, and the first couple days at the house, when I had been strong enough to take showers on my own, I had not only locked the door and checked the handle, but also jammed the lock and put a chair under the doorknob. Slowly, I had grown to trust Zechs and the chair had been removed, and eventually I even gave up jamming the lock, but there had always been that lock to protect me. In a shower... there is no protection. You just can't get as clean with your clothes on, trust me, I tried, and even if you do shower in them you still have to change out of them or risk getting sick, which was even worse in the slave world. In a shower... I was naked, in every sense of the word. It was okay, even enjoyable when I knew I was safe, but without the lock...I wouldn't be safe. What little trust I had gained for Zechs couldn't overcome that fact. I would be totally exposed to him. When you're raped in a shower, which admittedly had happened to me many times, its almost as though your letting them do it. There's no barrier between you and them, nothing that they have to fight you about. Sometimes, even, they would sneak up on me, if I were really out of it from drugs or drink, and they would be in me before I even knew they were there. When they told me I was a slut, a whore, and that I had wanted it all along... if we were in a shower, I would almost believe it. I'd get out of those showers feeling dirtier than when I got in, knowing there was nothing that could clean it away now.

But it wasn't a choice; I knew it and he knew it. Sally had insisted that I get a hot shower or bath the moment I got home to loosen my airway and help me breathe, and Zechs never gave me a choice when it came to my health. We did what was best for my body, no matter how much my psyche protested. The asshole did give me an ultimatum, though; take a shower unlocked alone or use the Jacuzzi with him. One in which I would be alone and completely naked, the other I'd have a little clothing, but he's be right there with me. In the end, I chose the shower because it was closer to the bed. A Jacuzzi was just a large bathtub or a small pool, and I didn't have a lot of fond memories of either.

This arrangement worked alright for a couple days of my treatment. Now, don't get me wrong, I loathed leaving myself open and vulnerable like that, but at three in the morning, dead tired and hurting, I just didn't have the energy to argue. I walked into the bathroom like a zombie, or later in the week Zechs would take me in and set me on a bench while he started the water, and when I was sure I was alone I would strip, trudge into the shower and sit under the spray for somewhere near half an hour before I bothered to wash up. I always washed up, even though I was dead tired, because I sweated through my treatments and I always got that itchy, sick feeling. Then I would get out, dry off, dress in long sleeved pajamas which Zechs always made sure were waiting for me, and trudge over to the room I shared with Heero and promptly fall down in a dead sleep upon the bed. The key to all of this, of course, was walking after my sessions, a skill that promptly failed me after my fifth treatment.


	114. Zechs 113

I watched Duo with a mixture of weariness and trepidation. On the one hand, he was exhausted, unable even to rouse himself enough to walk up the stairs from the car. He had attempted, then promptly fallen on the ground, where I had collected him. His breathing was raspy despite the water I gave him and it sounded like his nasal passages had all but dried up. He needed a shower, but with him unable to stand it was impossible to trust him alone with one. One the other hand, Duo was still very nervous having me very close, and I couldn't guarantee that my stripping him for a bath wouldn't rouse him enough to let him start a fit, and I really didn't want the other boys to wake to Duo's screaming. So, what to do?

Eventually I decided to compromise on taking him down to the jacuzzi. I'd still have to get him out of most of his clothes, but he wouldn't be completely naked. I'd have to manhandle him to get him in, but I wouldn't have to hold him as I would in the shower. The jacuzzi might also let him gain some strength back, so hopefully he could get into clean clothes on his own. It didn't hurt that the jacuzzi was outside, so it was less likely to wake the boys if Duo decided to throw a fit.

Having made this decision, I took Duo directly from the car to back porch. Duo was too tired to even lift his head and left it lolling against my side. His eyes were half closed and he stared at my chest, not even bothering to look around, completely miserable. I took him onto the deck, where he finally managed to look around, even if it was only to look up at the stars.

"What are you doing?" he rasped painfully.

"We're going to take a dip," I quipped in response.

"Don' wanna," he moaned in reply.

"I know. I'll try to make this quick," I told him, trying to convey my sympathy. It was one thing to crack heads with him when he was well, over stupid things. It was another to argue with Duo when he was sick, and I couldn't blame him for wanting to keep his clothes on around me. I could only hope he'd understand my reasons.

Gently, I lowered him to a bench and began to unbutton his shirt. He batted my hands away weakly and attempted to undo the buttons on his own, but couldn't manage it. I gently but firmly moved his hands aside and unbuttoned it myself, then slipped the shirt from his slim shoulders and set it aside. I moved next to his shoes and socks, putting off removing his pants as much as I could. I removed the shoes and socks, set them aside, and was left with nothing more to help me procrastinate. I reached for the buttons on his jeans, but Duo jerked away from my grip.

"No!" he moaned.

"Duo, I have to take them off..."

"I can wear them in!" he protested in a pained whisper.

"You can't. I'm sorry, but it will be nearly impossible to get jeans off of you if you soak them, not to mention uncomfortable. Now, be still," I commanded, giving Duo a mild glare to show him I was serious. Duo pouted and looked almost as though he would cry, turning his head sharply away from me to hide it. I reached out quickly and unsnapped the button on his jeans, pulled down the sipper, then slipped them off his narrow hips. They slithered down his slim legs to pool at his ankles where they became entangled in his feet, so that I had to free each foot individually. Underneath the jeans, Duo was wearing dark blue boxes that extended to his upper thigh, well covering his groin area. I was grateful, for any kind of white briefs would have left him no better than naked when they hit the warm water.

From there, I took Duo's hands and pulled him to his feet, knowing he would rather walk to the tub and keep some space between us in his current condition. As he got to his feet, however, he wobbled, then stumbled and fell against my chest. My arms immediately came up to steady him in what probably looked like an intimate embrace. To Duo, it was far too close, and he shoved himself away from me with a weak growl, almost landing himself on his rear as his body refused to stand without my support. I managed to catch him, of course, and lifted him into my arms, then quickly deposited him into the pool. He shoved away from me again as I lowered him, nervous, I suppose, by his lack of clothing and our close proximity. Whatever the reason, I was in no position to catch him at the time, so when he jerked out of my arms I lost my grip and he slipped from his seat at the edge of the pool into the center, where the water was deeper. There was only an instant where I lost my hold, but his face still managed to hit the water for a moment before I pulled him back up. Still, it caused my heart to skip a beat, and I felt a moment of satisfaction about the precautions I had taken with the hottub and the boys.

"What the hell was that?" I snapped harshly, repositioning him in the seat.

"I don' need 'elp," he protested weakly.

"Obviously you do," I growled back, stomping away from the pool to pick up his clothes and angrily shed my own.

By the time I returned to the pool I had calmed again, and the rest of my foul humor slipped away as I slipped into the hot water in the seat next to Duo. It was gone for only seconds, though, and returned quickly as I saw Duo shift to the far side of his seat, as far away from me as he could get. Had he the strength, I have no doubt he would have moved to a different seat, or gotten out of the pool altogether. I sighed in annoyance.

"Duo, I'm not going to jump you. You don't need to run away from me like that."

"Don' trus' you," Duo rasped, making himself more comfortable in his new position by crouching down so that his chin rested just above the water's surface. He began to breathe through his mouth and nose, trying to get the most steam possible to the sore areas of his body. I reached over and flicked the bubbles on to low, causing the tub to give a dull, quiet hum.

"Why do you fear me?" I wondered quietly. "I've never harmed you or given any reason at all for this kind of fear. So... why such a strong reaction?" I asked, hesitant to admit that I was somewhat hurt. I had never thought of myself as a brute, but Duo acted as though I was one.

"All masters are bad," Duo huffed, sulking.

"All?" I asked pointedly, "Solo was a master, wasn't he?" Duo seemed taken aback by his own words. "Would you have ever gotten to know Solo if you had this kind of an attitude?"

"It's not the same..." Duo defended halfheartedly. "Solo was... he was an exception."

"It is the same, and why can't you make an exception for me then? You're passing up so many opportunities to be happy because of this prejudice you have against masters. I know it's not fair, but..."

"You don't understand," he replied, his voice thick with emotion. "It's too late for me," he said, tears springing once again to his eyes. I suddenly felt such a deep pang of sympathy that I reached for him, thoughtlessly, only to be stung when he jerked harshly away from me. I knew I should have expected it, but still it hurt me in a way Duo hadn't before. But I couldn't get mad at him, for he was far more miserable than I was, sitting on the other side of the pool, looking fail, ill, depressed and alone. It was with a deep sense of helplessness that I kept myself from reaching for him again, knowing the results would be the same.

I gave a sigh, deep and heavy, then stood and got out of the pool. When I pulled a towel from the compartment in the side of the Jacuzzi and began to dry off, Duo got nervous.

"H-hey!" Duo protested. "Where are you going?"

"I'm going to get dressed and fetch your clothes. I'll only be gone a minute, but if you start to feel faint get out. Don't fall asleep in there while I'm gone," I instructed stiffly. I paused, making sure Duo didn't have anything to say, then headed into the house and up the stairs.

In our room, Wufei was awake and out of bed. Usually my comings and goings wouldn't wake him, and even Duo's entrance would only cause him to open and then close one sleepy to assure himself that it was safe. It seemed that Wufei's single-minded purpose extended even to sleeping, and in a place he deemed as safe he had put himself on an iron-clad sleep schedule.

"Where's Duo?" he wondered, rubbing his eyes sleepily.

"Downstairs, in the Jacuzzi. He was too tired to stand, so I put him in the hottub."

"Do you need help?" he asked.

"No, I'm just getting his clothes from the bathroom," I said as I moved out of his line of sight and began to dress.

"How many more days does he have?" Wufei asked, laying back down.

"Only two more sessions and he'll be finished, but he's wiped out. He'll probably sleep for a week after that."

"Hm," Wufei replied, closing his eyes and smiling. "Duo will probably enjoy that."

"Probably," I responded with a like smile as I went to the bathroom to collect Duo's clothes. By the time I returned, Wufei was already asleep.

Once outside again, I found that Duo had managed to stay awake, just barely. He was still chin deep in the water, his head lolling back now as he gazed at the stars. His gazed flicked toward me as he heard my footsteps approaching, then quickly returned to the sky.

"Come on," I told him, "it's time to go inside."

"Do we have to?" he asked wistfully. "Look how pretty the stars are tonight."

"You can see the stars tomorrow night. Now, can you dress yourself, or do you need help?" I asked, taking his hand and leading him out of the tub. Duo made a face in response.

"I think I can manage it myself."

"Alright," I responded, though I had some doubts as to whether he could actually accomplish this task or not, as I was nearly carrying him into the house. Still, I took him into the medical room's bathroom and set him on the toilet with a towel. "You have ten minutes to get into your clothes before I come back and do it for you," I told him, then rose to give him some privacy.

"Don't bother," he said before I could get out the door.

"What?"

"I can't do it," he replied miserably. "I can't even lift the damn towel."

"Then I'm going to have to help you," I replied carefully.

"Well duh!" Duo snapped, his pride wounded. I rolled my eyes, the only rebuttal I allowed myself at this time, and moved to dry him off. His hair was still up from the hospital, where Sally always ordered it into a bun to keep it out of her instruments, so luckily it was mostly dry. I dried off the rest of his body quickly, just rubbing the water off the parts I could reach without lifting him. Then, remaining professional, I slipped his boxers down his legs and onto the floor.

Duo, meanwhile, remained coiled like a spring, fighting his own instinct to bolt. I could only be awed by the amount of control he was wielding over himself, for only an hour earlier he had shied away from me at a distance, and now he was allowing me to touch him without even clothing between us. I hoped it was because he was trying to trust me, but I knew that it was probably just as much, if not more, because of Duo's complete exhaustion. I wanted to be happy that he was finally letting me get close, but I knew it was probably worse that he was still fighting not to run from me when he was literally exhausted.

It was awkward getting Duo into his underwear, probably more so for him than for me. I could only get them up to his knees without lifting him up, and since he was incapable of standing I had to warp an arm around his waist and lift him while pulling up his boxers with the other. From there it was far easier to get him into the rest of his clothes, possibly because he wasn't quite so shy and flinchy. By the time I finished getting his shirt on he was leaning heavily against my chest, and his eyes were almost closed. I smiled softly, abandoning his wet undergarment on the floor as I pulled him into my arms and carried him upstairs.

It was almost with a sense of sorrow that I deposited him into the bed next to Heero's. This was the closest I had been able to get to the braided boy, and while I was still much closer to the others I enjoyed Duo's company as well, even if it was a challenge. I smiled softly, pushing a loose hair out of his face as I watched him sleep. He really wasn't so bad... when he was sleeping. I sighed, then gently pulled his hair out of the bun so he wouldn't wake up with a crick in his neck, and left. I doubted if Duo would tolerate me gawking at him if he were awake, so I felt it best to remove myself from the temptation.

Back in my own room, minutes later, with Wufei curled contentedly in my arms, I could only puzzle over the mystery that was Duo feel that I had missed something important. But what could I possibly be missing? What string could I pull that would unravel Duo from his self-imposed shell? These questions followed me to sleep, then haunted me even in my dreams.


	115. Wufei 114

By the end of the week, Duo's treatments had finished, he was sleeping nearly twenty hours a day, and Zechs was almost constantly grumpy. Despite his constant assurances that he was perfectly fine with staying up to receive Duo, the bags under his eyes said differently. And, of course, it was fully beyond the powers of any of us to stay up late one night, or so Zechs believed. Regardless of the reason, Master insisted on staying up late and getting up early every night for a week, getting only four or five hours of sleep a night. So it wasn't really surprising when, the day after Duo's last session, Zechs slept more than half the day. It was, however, surprising to find him awake and chipper the next day.

"What's gotten into you?" I wondered as Master flopped down beside me on the patio. I liked to come out before breakfast and read a bit in the early sunlight; you can't appreciate Chinese script in artificial light, and it had been a long time since I had seen any books with script of this quality. Zechs, beside me on the bench, merely smiled and took a large bight out of his apple.

"What do you mean? It's a beautiful day, Duo's treatments are finished and fully successful, and all of you are making leaps and bounds in your events. Why shouldn't I be happy?"

"I didn't say you shouldn't be happy. I said you shouldn't be this happy. There's a difference," I responded. Zechs chuckled, then lay back on the bench.

"Face it, Wufei, things are good. I mean, there are some problems here and there, but overall things are finally starting to go right. Have you seen Quatre's souffle? He's a natural at cooking! And Trowa can survive anywhere, and probably sing while doing it. Heero has taken on such a wide variety of competitions, and excels at every one. And you... well, you're already a champion, so I'd assume you're good at everything, but..." he trailed, his brows furrowing as he thought deeply. "Come to think of it, I haven't seen anything you've been practicing. You should show me what you're working on."

"Ah... um..." I stuttered, surprised. "Of course. What would you like to see?"

"What's the next skill you'll be practicing?"

"That would be dance, but I don't practice that until eleven. I tutor Trowa and Duo in the mornings."

"Hm. That won't work for me. I have a teleconference with one of my aides about my business investments."

"I practice fencing at two. I could use a partner, honestly. There's only so much I can do without someone to spar with."

"Two it is, then," Zechs replied with a grin. "I'll try not to cheat this time," he promised. I blushed, remembering our last duel.

Breakfast rushed past, though it was delicious as always. Quatre, who had the earliest chore of making breakfast, had indeed made leaps and bounds where it came to cooking, and I was certain he had in other areas as well. My next task, teaching Trowa and Duo, did not fly by so quickly, mainly because Duo was a constant source of frustration to me. Trowa, who came at nine for two hours of schooling, was a joy to teach. He wasn't gifted at reading or writing, which isn't to say he was slow, just that he didn't have a natural knack for it. It seemed that, as a dancer, performer, and slave, Trowa had gained a skill for reading people through their tones and body language. It was hard for him to understand how mere words could express all of those different things, and so he sometimes struggled to understand connotations of some words. However, he memorized the letters very quickly and soon had the basic skills of reading down. His writing, as well, gave him very little trouble, and his letter were written with an almost artistic flare, though he did spend more time than necessary in perfecting each letter. All in all, it was enjoyable to teach Trowa, and barely a challenge at all to me. Trowa was so easy to teach, in fact, that I usually left him alone to study on his own for the last hour of his session.

The challenge of teaching came with Duo, and most of the joy fled. Duo came into my "class" knowing the basic skills of reading and writing, but nothing more. Still, Duo could see no use in having any kind of grammar skills above the basic, and was perfectly happy with writing "kat" and "roc." He didn't see any use in knowing the difference between "soul" and "sole," or "waste" and "waist," either. So his attitude toward my class left much to be desired.

Beyond his attitude, he was not an exemplary student anyway. Duo had a tendency to get easily distracted, and sometimes he would merely fall asleep during an assignment, and other times he would get up and wander off. More than once I found him at the game system instead of working if I dared to turn my back for more than a second. Other times I would find that he had doodled in the margins instead of filling in the answers to my questions. Verbal lessons were no better, because he could more easily fall asleep. It was also much more frustrating to directly ask him a question and receive an answer that proved he had not been listening than to have him write down the answer. At least when he was writing I could fool myself into thinking he had been listening.

One of the most difficult challenges about teaching Duo was his skittishness. It is difficult not to get into close proximity when teaching only one student at a time. Like most tutors, I tended to lean over Duo's shoulder and read some of his answers while he worked, so that I could stop him if I saw any kind of continuing mistake. Duo, however, viewed this as an invasion of his personal space, and would often snap at me. If I didn't back off immediately he'd become very upset, often throwing his paper or his pencil, and the lesson would have to end for the day, because Duo would no longer respond to anything I said or did. It was difficult and frustrating not to get close to Duo, but what concerned me more was that he wouldn't allow me. I found it odd that he would keep such a harsh space barrier between him and me. Certainly we weren't the closest pair out of the group, but I didn't think we were so far apart, either. It concerned me, but I didn't want to put more distance between us by being a tattletale, so I kept my worries to myself.

The worst part about this situation was that Duo, who had come in with a basic knowledge of grammar, had made very little progress, while Trowa, who had come in with no knowledge at all, had made such a significant improvement that it was very possible that he would catch or even exceed Duo in the near future. And since there seemed to be very little difference in their intelligence, I could only attribute this disparity in progress to their individual attitudes.

Of course, it wasn't all bad. Duo did make some progress, and it was probably only the comparison of the two that made it seem like less. There were days when he would come in with a bright attitude where we would make great progress on his lessons, just as there were days when he would come in with a foul attitude and we would make no progress. Regardless, he wasn't trying to sabotage my class and he didn't seem to have any natural dislike for me, so most days ran smoothly, though they were frustrating to me. It helped if Heero would stop by to encourage Duo, because Heero's opinion was very important to Duo for some reason. Heero had a free hour at the same time Duo took his lessons, so he would often take time to help Duo with problems he was struggling with if I were busy, or encourage him if not. Whatever the reason, Duo was much less frustrating in front of Heero, so I encouraged him to visit whenever he wanted.

That day, however, Duo was still recovering from his asthma treatments, and so was excused from class. With Trowa reading well on his own, I was left on my own. With an extra hour of free time, I decided to stay close in case Trowa needed me, so picked up a convenient book and sat down in a chair by the window to read.

Before I could open the book, though, a sight outside caught my attention. It was Zechs, mounted on a white horse, riding across the field. Heero, mounted on a dark roan stallion, was a few feet behind him, but closing quickly. They were both smiling, though it looked like Heero was putting a lot more effort into catching up than Zechs was in staying ahead. I could only assume that, in his brilliant mood, Zechs had volunteered to go riding with Heero and view his improvement in that area. Together they looked like a knight and a squire, riding into battle. I could almost imagine Zechs as the older, practiced knight and Heero as his nervous squire, off to witness his first battle. Zechs would protect him, of course, keeping him close at his side during the battle, wary of letting his young charge wonder into danger. The two of them reined their horses to a stop, and Zechs leaned over to say something to Heero. In my fantasy, Zechs would give him vital information on how to steady his horse during battle. Heero would smile and nod, quite in awe of his older, stronger teacher. Then Zechs would smile and lean close to Heero, then give him a quick peck on the lips. Heero would blush demurely, still unused to such intimate touches. But it wouldn't matter, because Zechs would soon teach his young protégée the way of the warrior, in life and in bed.

I was called from my musings as the two rode off again, and realized nearly five minutes had passed and I had yet to even open my book. Blushing, I quickly opened the cover and read the first sentence, but soon found my eyes drifting back to the window. With a sigh of defeat, I closed my book and turned to the window.

"I'm no better than Duo," I mumbled, but not even that remark was enough to pull my attention away from the pair outside. Heero was gorgeous, youthful and vibrant, but his beauty paled in comparison to Zechs. With his long, golden hair flowing behind him as he rode his pure white stallion across the grass, Zechs looked like a warrior of god, radiant with life and strength.

"Wufei?" Trowa called from across the room. "Can you help me with this word? It doesn't seem to fit the sentence."

"Coming," I responded, setting aside my unread book and quickly leaving the window behind. By the time I returned, both Heero and Zechs had disappeared from view.


	116. Wufei 115

At exactly two o'clock, Zechs appeared in the doorway of training room, dressed for a fencing match. I, of course, was already there and preparing for the match.

There were very few words as we began, but there was no animosity, either. There simply were no words needed, and the battle began with a rakish grin from him and a competitive sneer from me.

The swords sang as we danced as we danced to an ancient song of testosterone and adrenaline. Hearts beat in time with the strike of swords, and footfalls created the beating of drums. Within minutes we were both soaked in sweat and grinning like loons.

"It seems we are evenly matched in a fair fight," Zechs said.

"Almost," I responded, "as you are older, wiser, and stronger, but," I said as I quickly made a daring move with my sword by putting the tip of it just behind the hilt of his sword. Then, with a flick of my wrist, his sword flew from his hands, "it seems that I have more experience."

Zechs was stunned and bewildered by my move, but, unlike other masters, he didn't get the slightest bit angry with me for besting him. On the contrary, he laughed as he retrieved his sword.

"How in the world did you come up with a move like that?" he wondered, still looking at his sword with a bit of confusion. "I thought my sword had taken wing."

"When you practice a skill for hours a day, every day, for three years, you begin to get... creative," I told him. "Sheer boredom can be a strangely good motivator," I admitted.

"I see. Can you perform any other tricks?" he wondered, still grinning. I rolled my eyes, but revealed to him that I could balance the tip of my sword on the end of three fingers. He laughed out loud, at this. "You look like a trained seal," he scoffed. I glared, flipped the sword, caught it, and playfully raised it to his throat. "I very pissed of trained seal," he said, the laughter gone, but humor still lighting his eyes. I rolled my eyes again, then put my sword back in the case. Zechs followed a moment later, and deposited his beside mine.

"All joking aside," he said more seriously, "your skills are amazing, especially for your age. I can see how you would be able to win the competition every year," he said, turning to me, pride glowing in his eyes. I blushed, knowing that I had been given all the best in order to learn those skills, and that someone else probably could have used that much time and effort to become a much better swordsman than I was.

"It is nothing," I responded, lowing my eyes. I felt something brush the side of my face, and looked up to see Zechs pushing a stray hair off of my forehead. Our battle must have dislodged it, for it was usually pulled back into a severe ponytail, but I was almost grateful for it. If it meant more of these affectionate touches, perhaps I would not use such a tight rubberband any more.

Our eyes met then, and I felt his crystalline blue gaze pull me toward him with the sureness of gravity, and it seemed as though he felt it too, for our faces slowly came together. In another moment, our lips touched, and a jolt of lust struck me. Zechs began exploring my lips with his own, and I eagerly opened my mouth to him, allowing his tongue to dart in before it even sought entrance. Zechs did not disappoint, and our tongues resumed the battle that our hands had given up. Neither did our hands stay idle, for Zechs' slipped his up to grasp my shoulders, as I raised mine to touch his hair. We were panting once again, both consumed by the heat of our groins. When Zechs urged me to the matted floor, I followed eagerly.

_Removed for content._


	117. Duo 116

The day after my treatments ended I slept until two in the afternoon, woke, and felt a million times better. Then I got up, took a shower, and felt a million times better than that. I even went downstairs and got something to eat, even though I hadn't felt like eating much the last couple of days. By the time all of that was over I felt so good that I though I'd see if I could find Wufei, to ask about catching up on all the lessons I'd missed. It was after three, and I knew Wufei always practiced calligraphy in the library from three to four, so I went upstairs to talk to him.

I wasn't, of course, all that interested in making up my reading lesson, which Wufei had magically turned into a reading, writing, comprehending, math, science, and history lesson all balled into one. It was bad enough the I had to sit through all these boring classes, but Wufei actually expected me to apply myself. For what? I mean, I was a slave. Slave! Why would I need to know how to read and write? Some owners forbade their slaves from knowing such skills, because it made it easier for them to escape. But I already had enough reading and writing skills to make an escape, so what would I need any more for? Especially with so few opportunities to escape presenting themselves to me. It boggled my mind that Zechs would ask Wufei to give me these classes, and even more so that Wufei would get so enthusiastic about teaching them. But, really, what the hell, eh? If Wufei wanted to torment himself by tormenting me, that was alright. And some of the stuff was really neat, if I felt good enough to put some effort toward it. It would make Wufei happy to see me take some initiative in my learning, but it would make me even happier to take some initiative in my Wrestling Mania video game. So, if Wufei could teach me, great. If he couldn't, even better.

The trouble was, when I went upstairs to talk to him, he wasn't there. It confused me, because Wufei was never late, and yet his quills were still neatly stacked and dry, untouched for the day. I was a little worried, because Wufei was so stern and punctual, that I was afraid he might be in trouble. My video game called to me like a siren, but I ignored it. My heart wouldn't let me go until I was certain Wufei was alright.

So where else would Wufei be? The first place I would always look for Wufei was the library, since he loved to curl up with those books of his if he had any spare time at all. Unfortunately, I was already in the library, and it was obvious that Wufei was not here. So where was the second place to look for a missing FeiFei? The studio seemed like the next logical place to look, since it was where Wufei practiced both his dance and fencing routines. Sometimes Wufei would get so into a new move or routine that he would completely forget the time, so if he wasn't lost in his reading that seemed like the only other place he would spend time in. If he weren't there, I'd probably have to search the rest of the house, because he was about equally likely to be anywhere else. Of course, if he wasn't in the studio I might just have to give up and take a nap. My energy reserves were still pathetically low, and I had drained them a lot climbing the stairs from the second to the third floor. There was a good chance I would finish them off descending the stairs all the way to the ground floor.

But, stubbornly, I pushed myself to make the trip down the stairs, calling myself a baby when I felt too tired to go on. I almost stopped on the second floor to take a nap, as my bed seemed to be calling to me once again, but I liked Wufei and wanted to make sure nothing was wrong. I was hesitant to admit it, but I had a bad feeling about Wufei being missing.

Stupid, fucked up, backwards instincts. That's the last time I ever listen to my sixth sense.

Anyway, I made it to the bottom of the stairs, huffing and puffing, and dragged myself all the way to the studio. I even stopped at the bottom of the stairs to rest a moment, buying them some extra time, but it just wasn't enough. I got to the studio, pulled open the conveniently unlocked door, and was met with the sight of Zechs and Wufei, both buck-ass naked, spooning like a pair of kittens on the studio floor.

"Holy shit!"

"Duo, I can explain!" Zechs said, looking surprised and barely awake.

"Holy shit!"

"Duo, it's not what you think!" he tried again, trying to turn toward me without turning around and revealing his... ah... attributes.

"Holy shit!"

"Duo, shut it!" Wufei snapped from where he was curled beside Zechs.

"Wufei! A-are you alright?" I asked, finally managing to get a coherent thought into my head.

"I was better before somebody woke me up," he said grumpily, curling closer to Zechs chest and repositioning Zechs' shirt, which he was using as a blanket. "What are you even doing here?" he asked.

"I..." I stumbled, my brain unable to keep up with the situation. "I wanted to... to make up my school work..."

"Now he takes an interest in his studies," Wufei grumbled, rolling his eyes. He yawned again, then laid his head back on Zechs' arm. "If you want to make up your work we can schedule some time on the weekend, when you've rested a little more. Otherwise you don't have to worry about it, and we'll just continue where we left off on Monday," he responded, his eyes already closed.

"But... I mean... what about..." I said, gesturing rapidly with my hands to convey what I couldn't quite get my head wrapped around verbally.

"What about what?" Wufei snapped, opening his eyes and leaning over Zechs to see me.

"About... this!" I replied.

"What about it?" Wufei asked. "Zechs and I had sex. There's nothing more you need to know, and even that is none of your concern."

"But... I mean... Did he force you?" I asked, suddenly finding my footing in this very uncertain territory. My words became more sure as I realized what needed to be asked. "Did he hurt you?"

"I am right here," Zechs mumbled, but we ignored him. This was between Wufei and I, and I had thought I would be rescuing him, but Wufei's eyes suddenly turned fierce and angry, and I felt like I was the one in the wrong here. Like I had stepped over some kind of invisible boundary. All traces of sleep were suddenly gone from Wufei's face, and he turned to face me squarely, his eyes ablaze.

"Don't belittle this for me," he growled, his tone almost making me step back. "I chose to sleep with Zechs, and he was an excellent lover. I can make my own choices, and I will deal with the consequences on my own. I don't need you to save me, especially from a master who has never shown any aggression toward any of us. I don't need you tainting this or any other encounter I might have with bad memories. Now, I'm only going to tell you this once: Stay out of it. This is none of your concern."

I was frozen in place by those angry eyes and heated accusations. I had only been trying to help, but everything he had said was true. I was... I was using my own experiences to prejudice all other sexual experiences for anyone, and what right did I have to do that? I had been happy with a master before, and just because my happiness had been taken away didn't give me the right to spoil it for the others. Was I truly such a bad person that I couldn't allow others to find their happiness, when I had already had mine? Just because I hadn't been strong enough to keep my happiness didn't give me a right to take away theirs. I suddenly couldn't look at Wufei, and turned my eyes away. I felt small... and dirty.

"Wufei," Zechs soothed, pulling the smaller boy to lay against his chest. "That was far too harsh. Duo was only worried about you," he said gently, and I saw Wufei's eyes fall. Just like that, all the anger drained out of him and he was suddenly filled with remorse.

"I know..." he sighed softly, leaning into Zechs' embrace. "I just... I was so happy before. I don't want anyone, ever, to think badly about what we did. You were... wonderful. I want to keep that memory with me always, clean and untainted, no matter what happens. If... if something did happen, memories are all I know I can keep, no matter where I go, and no one can take them away. I just want to keep this one perfect, that's all. I just... I'm sorry, Duo," he said a little louder, turning to me. "I overreacted, and I shouldn't have. I know you were just looking out for me. Can you forgive me?"

"There's nothing to forgive," I replied, trying to get my signature smile back on my face. "And I'm sorry, too. I shouldn't have jumped to conclusions just because... well, anyway, sorry for walking in on you two. I'll just be going now," I said, then dodged out the door before they could say anything.

I wanted to run away. I wanted to get as much distance between us as I could. The edge of the yard might have been far enough, or I might have given in to temptation and ducked into the woods. I would have liked to run forever. I only made it to the den before my body gave out. I barely made it to the couch before I was too exhausted to go any further. If only my mind were as tired as my body, I thought morbidly. My body was too tired to move, but in my mind so many thoughts bounced around that it was impossible to grasp just one, and eventually I just closed my eyes and tried not to think.

It was several minutes later that I heard cautious footsteps in the hall approaching. I wasn't surprised to see Zechs enter the room, his hair still mussed from sleep, his clothes wrinkled and disheveled, smelling of sweat and... Something I couldn't think of without bringing out too many bad memories to control. Safe to say, he looked like anyone would expect him to look given the circumstances. He sat down in the chair across from me, close enough to speak but far enough to keep me from getting antsy. It was a larger space bubble than he usually allowed me, but he was well aware of how I reacted to sex, and the extra space was probably a wise precaution.

"Do you want to talk?" he asked quietly, neither demanding nor hesitating.

Did I? I needed to. I felt like my head was about to explode with everything inside. I needed to talk for days, until my tongue swelled up and my jaw fell off. But how could I? How could I tell him that I was jealous of what he and the others had found? How could I tell him that I was too afraid to let him get close enough to help me? How could I tell him that it hurt me to see them together, any of them, knowing that they had found their happiness, and I had lost mine? How could I tell him that I was weak, and broken, and that I hated him for what he was but I wanted what he had given the others all at the same time? How could I explain to him that I trusted him and feared my master, when they were both the same person? Yet I wanted to tell him, because the answers to these questions eluded even me, and maybe he could help me find the answers. Maybe just having someone else know what was going on would ease some of my pain.

But I was too afraid. Afraid that Zechs would turn out like all the other masters who had been kind for a while. Afraid that if I let him in it would be more painful when he threw me away, like all the others had. Afraid that if I let him see who I really was he wouldn't want me any more, and I wouldn't even be able to watch the others' happiness, let alone seek my own. I was afraid of him, and I was afraid of myself.

"No," I murmured sullenly, curling into myself.

"Are you sure? It's alright to talk to me, you know. Or I could get one of the others, if you'd prefer."

"No. I'm tired," I told him, and it was true. I was tired and so very, very weary.

"Oh. Alright then. I'll send Heero to wake you for dinner," he said, then rose and left.

Alone, curled on the couch and miserable, all I wanted to do was to cry myself to sleep. But sleep came more quickly than my tears, so even that solace was lost to me.


	118. Quatre 117

Alright, so I figured this was as good a place as any to put my little proposition. I don't know how many readers out there are actually in the US, but in PA they have an anime convention called tekkoshocon. This year it runs from April 13-15, at the Monroeville Expomart. I will not only be attending, but I will also be running a yaoi fanfiction panel. I figured I'd say something about it because so far interest has been pretty minimal. Anyway, I'm also willing to do a more personal kind of meet the author thing if anyone is going to be there and is interested in talking about Cages with me. So... there. You can PM me through here or talk to mein this forum or the gaian forum. Enjoy the chapters!

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Duo was always the first one to dinner, but with his recent sickness I had expected to have to call or even take his food to him. I hadn't expected him to show up even before dinner was made and plop down at the kitchen counter.

"Hello, Duo," I greeted. "You're looking better."

"Better than dead, you mean," Duo quipped, resting his elbows on the counter top as he sat on one of the stools.

"Did you have a good nap?" Trowa ventured quietly as he dried and put away the dishes from breakfast and last night's dinner. One of Trowa's chore hours was at the same time as my cooking lesson, in which I usually prepared dinner. Trowa always did the dishes then so that I would have some company while I cooked.

"Nap?" I asked, curious. I had thought Duo had slept all day.

"Yeah, I got up and... uh... talked to Wufei, then was so tired I crashed on the couch," Duo said, blushing.

"What did you want to talk to him about?" I asked, trying to make conversation.

"Huh? Oh, nothing. I just..." Duo trailed, a look of concentration on his face. "Hey, have either of you ever... you know... done it with Zechs?" he asked. It was so sudden a question that Trowa and I froze, uncertain of how we should respond.

"I have," Trowa replied first.

"Oh. What about you, Quat?" Duo asked, turning his attention to me. I blushed deeply, for I had been intimate with only one master, and it was not Zechs. I wasn't as comfortable with sex as the others seemed to be, for it was always painful, humiliating, and kind of gross with my other master. It was wet, dirty, smelly, and foul. It was hard for me to reconcile this idea of sex with a master like Zechs, and even harder to think of it in connection with the other boys, namely Trowa. So I often chose simply not to think about it.

"I have not," I told him simply, turning to the stove where I was frying chicken for dinner.

"What about Heero?"

"I believe he and Master were intimate, though I don't have any evidence," Trowa replied. "However, I did notice that he was walking funny after he and Master took a trip to the bathhouse, so it's pretty likely that they've been together," Trowa said, then paused, giving Duo a contemplative look. "What brought on this sudden interest?" Trowa wondered. Duo gave a surprised look, then blushed deeply and laughed, rubbing the back of his head.

"I... ah... I caught Zechs and Wufei in a... well... compromising position, so I was just wondering if I was the only one who hadn't... you know... with him."

"Wufei?" Trowa asked, surprised, "Really? I would have thought he would put up a fight, but I didn't hear anything."

"Apparently he didn't put up any fight at all. Seemed like he enjoyed himself, from what I saw," Duo replied. It was surprising that Wufei hadn't fought to protect his chastity, since he had fought Master in the very beginning for his freedom. Then again, if anyone could coax an angry dragon into bed, it would have to be Master Zechs.

"Hm," Trowa murmured, turning to put a dish away. "I can understand that. Master is very skilled and very... well endowed, if you know what I mean."

"Who's well endowed?" Heero wondered as he entered the kitchen, his face flushed from riding practice.

"We were talking about Zechs," Duo piped in, "it seems that he and Wufei have gotten together."

"Already?" Heero wondered, fetching himself a glass of water. "I thought he'd hold out longer than that."

"I was surprised as well," Trowa said, "but Master can be quite persuasive in that area."

"Who found out?" Heero wondered.

"That would be me," Duo replied, blushing and laughing again. "I had the misfortune of walking in on that aftermath about an hour ago."

"Oh? Master said you were sleeping. He said to wake you at dinner," Heero replied, confused.

"Yeah, well, it seems that a combination of stairs and shock took the energy right out of me. I crashed on the couch a couple minutes after finding them."

"Ah. Then I suppose you don't have the energy to come out to the barn? I found a nest of barn kittens in the loft. There's a white one that keeps crawling away from the nest and making a ruckus when it can't find its way back. It kind of reminded me of you."

"Kittens? Neat! I haven't eaten cat in ages!" Duo crowed.

"Duo!" I snapped, shocked and appalled. "You can't eat kittens!"

"I'm just playin' with ya, Quat," Duo said with a wink. I smiled and almost let it go, but a second later I saw more than felt a pang of sorrow in his eyes. The others had turned their attention away, so didn't hear it when he mumbled, "We were never fast enough to catch cats."

I wondered about that comment, but Heero was already leading him out the door, so I let it drop. I didn't know a lot about Duo, but I was fairly certain his childhood had been rough. Still, it was impossible to make Duo do anything, so I knew I'd just have to wait until he felt comfortable enough to reveal his past to me. If he ever did.

"I wonder if Wufei will be joining us for dinner?" Trowa wondered as the other two left. "He might be too sore. It has been a while since he's been with anyone."

"I... ah... I don't know," I told him honestly, stuttering in my discomfort over the subject. Only Duo and I had not been with Master, and with Duo it was most certainly because he got so upset when people tried to touch him. So why...?

"Quatre, is something wrong?" Trowa asked, looking at me with concern.

"Oh! No, I just got a little distracted, that's all," I replied, then quickly went back to my cooking.

But I was lying.

That night, after dinner was over, I told Trowa I was going to take a long bath. I filled the tub and took off my clothes, but I didn't get in. Instead, I stood looking at myself in the full-length mirror that hung on the bathroom door.

Why didn't Master want me? What did the others have to attract his attention that I didn't? I had never been in a position before where I was not considered desirable. I had always been feminine, ethereal, and elegant. So, while I had only had one master, I was often put on display for others. I hadn't liked all those eyes watching me, but it had given me some confidence to know that I was beautiful. Even after I had fallen out of my master's favor, I had still been called to his bed often. Even the constant abuse and torture had not diminished my looks, and some of the masters commented on how frail and pretty I looked, even though I had only been skin and bones. So why was it that Master Zechs did not find me alluring?

I soon found myself shaking and had to lower myself to the floor, for fear of falling. If Master didn't want me in his bed, how was I to know he wouldn't suddenly want me off his team? I certainly wasn't doing any serious events, and I had only had a few months training. What if he found a better trained slave at one of the parties? He could easily replace me with someone else. What if all his kindness had merely been because he was a kind person, not because he had any affection for me? What if he sent me away?

I realized that I was starting to pant, and I knew that Trowa would surely realize something was wrong if I panicked. I took deep breaths to calm myself and tried to think of a time Master had shown me some kind of affection. The only time I could think of was when Master had kissed both Heero and me when I had first come to stay with Master, and that had only been a kiss on the forehead. Still, maybe if I hadn't been so sick or so shy it would have gone further. Master was very kind, so maybe he had held himself back to keep from hurting me.

But what was different between then and now? And, for that matter, what was different between the others and me? The only thing I could think of was that all the others except Duo and me were muscular. Could Master only be interested in muscular boys? But Heero and Wufei were fairly slim despite their muscles, and Trowa was far taller than he was broad. So they were all slim and athletic. How could that help me?

I stared at the mirror for several minutes, trying to figure out what was different. Was it because I was fair, and the others were dark skinned? Was it because I was soft, while the others were tough? But I had been all these things when Master had chosen me, and he had chosen me over all the other boys the Master Marcel had offered. Could it be my scars? They were certainly not there when I was first chosen, but they had been there when Zechs had kissed me. Besides, they were much softer now, as Trowa helped rub a cream to prevent scarring on my back every night. In a few more months it would be hard to tell I had ever been injured.

So what was the difference between the boy Master had chosen to become his own and the person who now looked back at me from the mirror? I had been a skinny, sickly boy then, easily frightened and injured. I was stronger now, and where my skin had once been a pale, sickly white it now had a healthy, golden tone to it. I was no longer bruised by every bump or scrape, no longer taken down by a chilly wind or a cold. A month of eating well and sleeping warmly had made me stronger in body, if not in soul.

Which is when I realized it. In the past month, I had put on nearly twenty pounds in weight. It had been hard to see at first, because I had lost even more weight to my wounds, and I had needed to gain that back. Now, though, it was easy to see that several weeks of pigging out had added pounds to my body. Zechs had asked for a Victorian boy, I laughed to myself as I looked into the mirror, and ended up with the Pillsbury Dough Boy.

It all made sense to me now. The other boys had gained weight, yes, but they carried it in the form of muscle. They were touch where I was soft, and I doubted I could manage to carry the weight as they did. My features were angelic, and I trembled to think of what they would look like with twenty extra pounds of muscles. I would probably look like a midget Hercules.

No, the only solution was to return to what Master had chosen in the first place. I had gotten sloppy and complacent in the atmosphere of this place, and I had forgotten that Zechs was, first and foremost, a master. I was here to please him, and I had lost sight of that. Master had given me too much freedom, and I had abused it. It was a mistake I would not make again, but, luckily, one I could rectify.

I took one last look at myself in the mirror, measuring myself now to how I looked mere weeks ago, calculating the inches I would need to take off and the ones I could keep. If I worked hard, I could be better than my old self in a matter of weeks.

I smiled in relief and got up, turning away from the mirror. Still smiling I stepped into the now-cold bath water and quickly washed. I got out and toweled dry quickly, careful not to trip over anything and reveal my haste to Trowa. In the bedroom, Trowa had not noticed anything was wrong, and was quietly reading by the lamplight. I put on my pajama pants and fetched my anti-scar cream from my dresser, then silently handed it to Trowa. He put his book aside, used to this nightly routine, and moved for me to sit on the bed in front of him. Trowa's hands were strong and gentle, and I liked having an excuse to get close to him. Usually I enjoyed these moments together and would talk amiably while he would listen silently, putting in a comment every so often to let me know he was interested. Tonight, though, I was to preoccupied to say much, so the conversation fizzled quickly. Trowa finished more quickly that usual, and I retired to bed immediately, body tired and soul weary.


	119. Trowa 118

I thought at first that Quatre might be mad at me. I was the one closest to him, so I was obviously the one to first notice his odd behavior. He had become withdrawn and almost depressed after Duo had revealed that Master had taken Wufei as his own. It seemed out of character for Quatre, but I thought perhaps he might be jealous of Wufei. It seemed logical, given that Master had taken Wufei even though he had received Quatre first. I wanted to tell Quatre that Master was probably just worried about his wounds, but I wasn't sure it was true. Quatre was completely healed, and even the scars were rapidly fading. It was probably more likely that Master was just a romantic, and was waiting for the right moment to be with Quatre. That was how it seemed to me, anyway. But, again, I didn't know for sure, and I didn't want to falsely raise Quatre's hopes. So, as usual, I said nothing.

Quatre predicament made me feel almost guilty the next day, when Master once again came to "help" me with my singing lessons. It didn't seem fair that Quatre had never gotten to receive Master's touch when I got them on a daily basis. Still, I wasn't sure I would sacrifice my time with Master, even for Quatre. What I felt for Quatre was still young and fragile, and I had barely let myself recognize it as more than a strong friendship. What Master gave me was strong, stable, and confident. Where my relationship with Quatre was filled with dangers and uncertainty, almost certain to die a quick death, my relationship with Master Zechs seemed unwavering and eternal. There was a stability in his presence that I had never known, and I found addictive.

My time with Master was not ill-spent. We soon learned that I needed direct penetration to induce a level of vulnerability that allowed me to sing, and from there Master began to wean me of an actual act of sex being my catalyst. He began at first by touching and arousing me less, and by the end of the week I was able to sing perfectly with only a vibrator inside me. Master seemed extremely pleased, because the vibrator was something that could be hidden at Collar. And so my real practice began.

I was, of course, pleased that I had managed to make Master proud, yet at the same time I missed the time Master had spent with me. Master seemed to see this, though, so he pulled me away from the others every night that second week and took me somewhere private. It was difficult, at times, to find privacy with the house so full, and more than once we ended up in the library or by the pool. It seemed odd, how Zechs was sneaking around the others, but I did not question him. I was afraid he would decide not to touch me anymore, and I wasn't sure I could stand that.

He would take me gently, yet using all his strength and confidence to take me to the edge. He would bring me down softly, with kisses and soothing caresses. More than once we fell asleep by the pool or in the library, less often in my bed or his. It was awkward, changing the sheets after we were done, knowing that Wufei would sleep in his bed later, or that Quatre would sleep in my room. I wasn't sure if the awkwardness came from knowing that neither Wufei nor Quatre had been with Master yet at that time, or because none of us had ever been together. I was used to a master having four or five slaves in his bed at one time, so there was never any shyness or awkwardness between the slaves. Having never been with any of the other slaves, and with Master choosing not to take some of them, it left these awkward, invisible lines between us of what we could not do or say around one another. It was a strange feeling for me, because sex had never been something to be shy or embarrassed about in my experience, so these feelings were all new to me. Still, I couldn't help but think it was more normal to feel embarrassed about sex than what I had been used to. Thus my feelings on the situation were mixed, at best.

Only adding to this confusion of embarrassment and lust were my feelings for Quatre. I realized fully that I felt lust for him, but the spark of something deeper confused me. Lust was something I had experienced before, but even friendship was new to me, and so this deeper feeling frightened me. I didn't, or couldn't, understand it, and so shunned it. Love was not something allowed to slaves. Love between two slaves would take attention away from the master, and that was not allowed. It was true that most masters demanded "love" from their slaves, but this "love" was often confused with obedience. If a slave truly loved a master they risked saying things that the master would not like, because they loved the master, or having an emotion like jealousy around the master. This, of course, was not tolerated, and so slaves did not know love.

But this Master was unlike any other master I had ever known. Could I think that I loved him? Easily. But what I felt for Quatre was different, and yet both felt like love. So which was real? Was one better than the other? Certainly what I felt for Master was stronger, but I couldn't quite deny that this strength arose only from the conditions surrounding it, being that love for Master was not expressly forbidden, as a love for Quatre was. Then again, it didn't help matters that Quatre had done very little that could be construed as showing favor to me. Were I to reveal my feelings about him I would risk losing everything, and for nothing if he did not feel the same. So, again, I said nothing.

But there were many things I wanted to say. I wanted to tell Quatre that his hair looked like gold when the sun glittered on it. I wanted to tell him that his skin smelled like lilacs after his bath, when I used his scars as an excuse to get close enough to feel the warmth of his skin. I wanted to tell him that he was most beautiful when he made a mistake in cooking, with flower dusting his face like diamond dust, and he would blush and smile at the same time, illuminating the room with a purified innocence and joy. I wanted to tell him that at a word from him I would risk everything just to hold him.

But I couldn't, because I was silent.

Not everything was bad, though, as much as I tend to focus on the shortcomings. Quatre was still down the next day, and he ate very little, but the day after that was Saturday, and a sudden trip with Master found us all in high spirits.

Sally had taken three of us out already, Heero, Wufei, and me, but it was just a quick trip to a small store for some new clothes. What Master laid out for us was an all day event, complete with lunch at a restaurant. The store Master told us about was more of a mall than anything, and he even talked about stopping at the cinema for a movie.

"You're all doing so well at your events that I thought a reward should be in order," Master told us, smiling, "Besides, you'll only stress yourselves out if all you ever do is work. Saturday should be a day of play, to relax and have some fun. I can't guarantee we'll always go out on Saturdays, but I think it would be best if we did something fun on Saturdays from now on."

His declaration was met with nods of approval and smiles of excitement. We all loved the house, but there was something about being in one place with the same people for a long period of time that eventually made any slave feel claustrophobic. At Collar we could move freely around the whole satellite, granting that the master approved, and there was always something to do. The contrast between constantly seeing new things and suddenly seeing only the same things for several weeks was hard on us, especially because we weren't free to improve anything. It sometimes made slaves feel trapped, and even though we were happy with Master Zechs, I think we were all beginning to feel a bit claustrophobic. Combined with the stress we all felt from our Collar events, I don't think Master could have picked a better time for a trip.

There were precautions to be taken, of course. We all had to sit through a twenty minute lecture Friday night on how to behave in public. Of course, all slaves were trained to be able to act normal in public, and it wasn't uncommon for a master to take a slave with him if he went out. Usually, though, the master didn't allow the slave any free reign, like Master Zechs was giving us, and the slave was only there to help the master and to be shown off. Master Zechs was doing this both with us and for us, and it was a treat we were all very excited about.

There were a few drawbacks, though. We had to stay in a group at all times, which meant that we wouldn't be able to visit every shop we wanted. We also had to wear tracking equipment around our ankles at all times while we were out.

"Honestly, I'm really more worried about one of you getting lost or kidnaped than having one of you run away," Master said seriously as he showed us the ankle bracelet. It was small and inconspicuous, but once put on it would not come off without the key. "But I hope you all understand that I can't take that chance, even if I don't think any of you will run. The anklet will remain on from the time we leave the house until the time we return. These bands are also equipped with a very small amount of sedative. If any of you should attempt to make a scene while we're out, I'll only have to press a button to have you sedated. I understand that some of you might not be comfortable with this, and any one who does not want to wear this can simply stay at home. I won't force anyone," Master said. For a moment I thought Duo might baulk at the threat of having drugs so near him, but he only hesitated for a second, then nodded in agreement with the rest of us.

I did not hesitate in my agreement, although I was worried that the sedative might be administered by a tiny needle. Still, I wanted to go very badly, and I couldn't see a needle anywhere on the anklet. I had no intention of causing a scene in public, so I hoped that I would have no need to worry, even if the band was equipped with a needle. If I tried very hard, I could even fool myself into thinking the sedative might be in a powder or liquid form that the skin would absorb very quickly. Regardless, I wanted to go badly enough that I tried to put the thought of needles out of my mind.


	120. Heero 119

On Saturday, everyone woke early and began their chores in a rush. Master allowed us to have the weekend off from training and practice, and though we usually spent some of the day doing extra practice a good portion of the day was our to do as we pleased with. That portion, however, did not include chores that needed done every day. The horses still needed fed, dishes washed, breakfast cooked, beds made, and laundry washed and folded. Each of us took a different task and quickly did it while Master made calls to ensure everything was ready for our outing. By ten o'clock we had all done our chores, eaten, showered, and were ready to go.

The excitement in the car would have been ridiculous for a normal group of teens going to the mall, but for a group of slaves this kind of treat was something to be delighted in, for it was not likely to happen again. Quatre and Duo were like four-year-olds going to the toy store, nearly bouncing in their seats. It was nice to see Quatre so lively again, because the stress of his Collar events seemed to have been getting to him more than the rest of us. He had been depressed and lethargic the previous day, and even today he seemed slightly paler than usual. Still, he seemed happy enough, pointing out the window at every shop and diner that we passed, so I could only hope today would raise his spirits.

Trowa and Wufei were more subdued, but no less excited. Instead of jumping around themselves, they watched in amusement as Duo and Quatre bounced around, just as interested in what the other two were pointing out. Even Master, who watched over the whole escapade with a doting amusement, was not unaffected by the glee of his two more emotional slaves.

And so it seemed that the only one unaffected by all of this joy was me. Not to say that I wasn't excited to go or that seeing the others so happy didn't affect me. It was just that seeing Master like this was bitter sweet for me. We had all been so busy with our events, and Master was so busy watching over all of us, that I hardly got to see Master. With my strength training I was always too exhausted by the end of the day to engage Master in sexual play, and any other interactions between us were clinical and brief. Finding that Trowa and Master were engaging in intercourse upset me, but I was able to put it aside because it was being done for Collar, and not necessarily for Master's enjoyment. When I heard that Master had taken Wufei, however, I could have no such delusions. Master had chosen to take Wufei for no other reason than because he wanted to.

Which left me with a question; why had it been so long since he had taken me? This question aroused doubts in my mind that preyed on my psyche, and though I fully acknowledged the damage it was doing I was completely helpless to stop it. I wondered if all his declaration of my beauty had been lies, or simply naive pronouncements from a master who had not yet seen the beauties of Collar. I was his first slave, but I wondered again if that only meant I was the first he would tire of. It certainly seemed that he had tired of me, and I worked myself at a frantic pace on all of my events to secure myself a place in his household. It seemed that I could only survive as a Collar slave, for he certainly did not want me for pleasure.

It didn't help my psyche any that, while I spent a large portion of my time watching over Duo, it didn't seem that the two of us were growing any closer. When I say growing closer, I mean that we were not becoming closer friends by a mutual agreement to share with one another. On the contrary, I had grown very fond of him, but it seemed that he was completely opposed to the idea of getting closer to me. It confused me greatly, because there didn't seem to be any natural reason for him to dislike me, and our atmosphere allowed and even promoted a closer bonding of slaves. So why was he so hesitant? I began to wonder if I was no use even as a human being outside of Collar events. Was I that bad at being a person, that I was not worth befriending? It seemed that the harder I tried to get close to Duo, the more open I became with him, the faster and more violently he shied away. Was I that useless as a person? This situation, obviously, did nothing for my battered psyche, and left me to nurse my fears completely alone, watching as the others grew closer to each other and Master. I was on the outside again.

It took us nearly an hour to reach the mall, though this was mainly because Master's property was so far out of the city. Still, as slaves, we were used to being kept from away from the public, and I'm sure all of us had experienced being hidden away in bunkers and sheds at one time or another. As slaves, we were to act like a broom or a vacuum cleaner; if we were not being used we were supposed to remain completely out of sight.

The first store we stopped at was Duo's pick, an electronics store with a large selection of new games. Duo headed straight for the trial games and pretty much removed himself from our level of existence. Wufei rolled his eyes and marched over to the music section, where he began to flip through the classic section. Quatre took Trowa by the hand and led him to a corner of the store where sheet music was being sold, and together they began to skim through the books.

"Is there anything you want to look at?" Master asked, coming up behind me.

"I was thinking about looking at the laptops. I know we have computers at the house, but it would be nice to have something I could take with me, so I don't have to work in the library when Wufei is teaching," I said, then realized how presumptuous that sounded. "That is, if you should choose to buy me one. The current computers are certainly adequate for my needs..."

"I think we could work something out, if you're sure you want one," Master replied, "but probably not today. Look around, see what's here, and think about it. We'll come out again before Collar starts," Master assured me.

"Really, I'll be fine with the old one. I don't want you to spend a lot of money on me," I assured him. It was one thing to be given a gift by a master, but it was quite another to ask for it. I didn't want him to think I was greedy.

"Heero, it's nothing. I..."

"Ro!" Duo shouted, pulling himself away from his video game to notice me. "Come look at this! This system is so cool!"

"Ah, I had better go see what he wants before he gets the attention of the entire store," I told Master.

"That's fine. Actually, I'll come with you. My servants picked out the game system in the house when it was renovated, so I haven't been able to see what's on the market now. It's been years since I've played games like that, I'd like to see what they've come out with," he said, leading me toward Duo, who was bouncing up and down at his game.

"Look at these graphics!" Duo said excitedly. "If you press this button you can totally watch people explode in slow motion!"

"T-that's wonderful, Duo," Master said, looking slightly ill as a male human exploded on screen, blowing entrails all across the digital scenery. Duo wasn't the most aware slave, but even he could see Master wasn't pleased with this game, so he quickly jumped to another down the row, this one hooked up with sophisticated driving equipment.

"Yeah, and you should see the racing games they have! It's like you're really driving! It has a wheel, stick shift, petals, and everything!"

"That's actually pretty neat," Master admitted, looking decidedly more pleased with this game choice.

"So?"

"So what?" Master wondered, confused as he looked into Duo's excited face.

"So can we get it?" Duo asked. Master pulled back, surprised by the question.

"Duo, it's a little expensive..." Master said, and Duo's face fell. "Maybe next time."

"Aw! Master's always say that!" Duo pouted, crossing his arms over his chest in a huff. "We never get anything good! Just jewelry and shit like that!"

"Duo!" I snapped, knowing that if he made a scene the trip would cut short for all of us.

"Actually," Master interjected, cutting me off calmly, "Duo's sort of right, as much as I hate to admit that. You five cover all the chores around the house, so it's not really fair that you don't get anything out of it. If I had to hire staff to cover everything you boys do I'd probably be paying a couple hundred dollars."

"Really? Cool!" Duo said, forgetting his original anger.

"Ah, but don't forget that I do proved housing, food, amenities, entertainment, and schooling. That would cost quite a bit."

"Yeah, but how much would we be left with?"

"About ten dollars."

"Aw man! Dude, I'll totally sacrifice the schooling. How much will that get me?"

"Duo," Master chided, "that's not how this works. However, you have been working for three weeks now, so you already have thirty dollars saved up. How about that?"

"Well, I guess that's okay," Duo huffed, then suddenly brightened. "So how much more do I need to buy the new game system?"

"$320."

"Oh hell!" Duo snapped, throwing his hands in the air. "I'll be eighty before I have the cash for that!"

"But you have more than enough for a new game for the old system," Master replied, pointing to a section of new and used games. "Two if you get something used."

"Cool!" Duo shouted and bounced off to look at the new games.

"That was really nice," I told Master. "Most... uh... I mean, we usually don't get money for what we do, to spend as we like."

"Hm, but it would be cruel of me to take you all out and not expect to buy you anything. This way you can all get something you like, and I can keep some money in the bank," Master teased, then said on a more serious note, "You know, I was serious about this. The more I think about it the better an idea I think it is, for all of you. You can spend your money today, or save it and buy something later."

"I don't know if anyone will save their money."

"Why not?" Master wondered.

"It would be a risk not to use the money, in case... in case one of us should leave you," I said, trying to keep my voice from betraying my insecurities.

"Leave me?" Master wondered. "Why..." Master began, but Duo was calling us again. "Why would you think..." Master tried again, but Duo was nearly shouting now, and Master could no longer ignore him without causing a scene. "We'll talk about this later," Master ordered, then marched toward Duo, visibly struggling to act normal.

What had I done?


	121. Zechs 120

Even before we arrived at the mall I was congratulating myself on having such a great idea. Usually on Saturdays the boys each had something different they wanted to do, and something would always come up to take my attention, so we saw very little of each other during the day. This trip would keep all the boys close to me, and had already forced me to put delegate several important meetings to my employees. And, to be honest, I wouldn't sacrifice seeing their faces for anything.

Realizing that the boys had no way to earn money put a slight damper on my spirits, but only momentarily, and the solution I decided on seemed like a it would be extremely helpful with the boys. Not only would it give me another non-violent means of control over them, but it would also get them used to another aspect of normal teenage life. Of course, an actual part time job would be more normal for boys their age, but it was not possible, and probably not a good idea anyway. It would be a little too normal for the boys, who had very little experience with normal social interactions.

The knowledge of how unsure of his place Heero had become in the last few weeks, however, was more than enough to spoil my mood for the rest of the day, but to keep from ruining everyone's day I tried not to let my unease show on my face. There were several times in the next half an hour that I managed to get my better mood back, only to have it flee it Heero's downtrodden face. Now, not only was Heero once again concerned with his place in the household and with me, but he was also sure that he had made me mad. And, once again, there was nothing I could do to fix it while the other boys were around me.

Once we were finished with the electronics store, Duo's games bought and the situation explained to the others, I decided to take the boys to the food court for lunch. This may not have been one of my best ideas, because all the shops were crowded in the lunch rush and it made the all the boys nervous, but Duo most of all. After a few close brushes with other shoppers, Duo stormed off and sulked in a corner, looking like the picture of an angry, disobedient teen. I was hesitant to admit it, but he was probably standing out least of all my boys, as the others were all hanging on my every word, and instantly obeying every order.

Eventually I just gave each of them ten dollars and sent them to buy whatever they wanted. Heero retrieved Duo and sat him down at a corner table toward the back, then went to buy food for the two of them. I didn't want to leave Duo by himself, so I sent Wufei to get us both some Indian food and stayed with Duo until the food came.

I collected the change from everyone, then ate with a steady flow companionable conversation, of which Heero did not join. He sat in silence, picking at his food, hunched up with his head hung. Quatre picked at his food as well, but he was fairly the center of attention, so I dismissed it as excitement.

I tried to follow the conversation, but I was constantly looking at Heero's saddened form, and my thoughts became consumed with what I should say to him. We came at the tail end of the lunch rush, so in about half an hour the food court had fairly cleared out, and I felt the boys begin to relax a bit. Sensing this, I decided to make a move and pulled out the handful of pocket change.

"Why don't you boys go make a wish in the fountain?" I asked, handing the change to Wufei.

"That's dumb!" Duo protested, "You shouldn't waste money like that, it's just a scam."

"It all goes to charity," I protested. "Besides, isn't it worth a try? You might get your wish."

"Oh. Well, alright, let's go," Duo said, heading off. The others quickly followed, but I called to Heero before he could leave.

"Heero, you stay," I commanded softly. "I wanted to talk to you," I told him. He hesitated for a moment, then nodded and waved Duo on. After making sure Duo was gone, Heero came and sat across from me, hunched over and staring at his hands like he expected yelled at. I wanted to hold him, but I knew this was not the place, though the timing was probably right.

"Heero, I'm sorry," I began, and he looked up in surprise, his deep blue eyes reminding me of what I had first seen in him. "I know I haven't had much time for you lately, and I'm very sorry I let you think that you might not be important to me. I suppose I just took you for granted, thinking that you were secure in your place and you didn't need my attention. I know it's no excuse, but the others needed me. I could have still found time for you, though, if I tried. I just... I'm sorry. I'll make it up to you, I promise."

"It's not..." Heero began, then hesitated, his eyes serious as his brain tried to form the words he was already feeling. "I was secure. I knew how busy you were, and how much the others needed you. I just... I guess I got worried, when you didn't call for me, but you called for Trowa and even Wufei. I thought..."

"You that I didn't want you," I finished. "Oh, Angel, that's silly. You were always just so worn from your weight training that I didn't want to put more pressure on you. It wasn't that I didn't want you, really. I had your best interest at heart when I let you sleep," I told him earnestly, then gave him a rakish smile. "But this is one problem I can fix without too much difficulty. Tomorrow, I forbid you from doing any training. You will have to accompany me all day," I told him, my tone implying the words I couldn't say.

"Ah... all day?" Heero wondered. "But I should really lift some..."

"Ah-ah," I chided, covering his lips with my finger. "I have spoken. Now, let's get back to the others," I said, then grabbed a tray and walked off before he had a chance to reply. He might not have said anything, but that didn't mean my words had no effect. I could tell, just from the way he walked to meet with the others, that the weight had been lifted from Heero's shoulders. As we approached the next shop, an oriental shop for Wufei, I could already head Heero conversing more lightly with Duo.

It took less time for Wufei to find what he wanted in this shop than it had for Duo, mainly because Wufei had an actual goal in mind. After picking up two new brushes to practice his calligraphy, which he said were much better than the quills I had given him, I managed to persuade him to pick up some Chinese herbal tea after telling him that I would pay for the brushes, since they were for Collar. He even picked up an inexpensive Chinese teapot, because, "Europeans know nothing about tea, and their pots steal all the flavor from the leaves." He spent a moment looking at some antique Chinese swords, but passed them by after only a minute. After glancing at the price, I could understand. He still had some money left when he finished his purchases, and I was glad he had gotten something for himself while we were out. Wufei spent too much time with business, and not enough time playing or having fun. Of course, he'd probably scoff at me if I told him that. I tended to do the exact same thing.

The next store was for Trowa, and it was a small bookstore tucked away in the corner of the mall. It was much quieter inside the store than in the rest of the mall, though probably more because of the heavy carpeting and tapestries muffling the noise than because it was a bookstore. Inside, the store had a homey feeling, completed by the lighting, which was less harsh than the flourescent in the rest of the stores, and some plush chairs scattered along the bookshelves.

Wufei headed straight for the thick, hardcovered classics, Heero went for the manuals and textbooks, Duo went for the comic books, and Quatre went toward the fiction section. This left only Trowa standing in the doorway, looking around in nervous embarrassment. After a moment of hesitation, he walked to the nearest shelf and lifted the closest book. Unfortunately, the closest shelf housed only guides on dieting, so Trowa replaced the thin volume after only a moment's glance. From there, Trowa glanced around at each of the other boys. I could almost hear his thoughts as he passed each by; Wufei's books were too hard, Heero's were too boring, Duo's were too bloody, and Quatre's... He hesitated on Quatre, then approached the section Quatre was looking at.

I, meanwhile, was trying not to hover, knowing that it wouldn't do any of them any good to have me looking over their shoulders all the time and telling them what to do. I wasn't really in the mood to buy I book I knew I wouldn't have time to read, so I settled in one of the chairs facing the shelves and kept an eye on my boys.

I quickly found that all but Trowa had managed to find a section, if not a book, that drew their interest. Trowa, unfortunately, was still struggling to find something that interested him. I could see the problem with the section Quatre picked, as all the books in that section were thick with very small print. Not something that would welcome a weak reader, and it had obviously scared Trowa off as he replaced the book and moved away from the section. For a moment he joined Duo in the comic book section, but he didn't even both to pick those up before moving on. From there he seemed at a loss as to where to go. He stopped next to one of the shelves and let his eyes travel the store, passing over the other boys, the bored-looking clerk, and the few other occupants in the store. Next he scanned the shelves, his eyes finally settling on a section of thin, colorful, large-printed novels. He looked longingly at them for a moment, but his eyes suddenly flicked to the large "Children's Section" sign above it. He blushed deeply, pulling his eyes from the shelf, and began to walk toward the entrance, not seeing me.

"Is something wrong?" I asked Trowa as he walked by. He jumped, too far in his own thoughts to notice me before.

"Ah- um... I-I don't think this was such a good idea," Trowa said, blushing again.

"Oh?"

"I... I'm not all that interested in reading anyway," he said, softly, his voice dripping with a badly hidden disappointment.

"I don't believe that," I told him gently, smiling. It was time for me to step in, and I was glad. Watching him struggle had been more difficult that I cared to admit. "Come, we'll find something for you," I told him, pushing myself from my chair and leading him back into the maze of books.

I knew what he needed; something with simple sentences and shorter words, but with enough creativity to keep his interest. Later it would be important to get him involved in long stories and complicated sentences, but for now it was enough just to have him reading and understanding the words and their connections to other words. It was also important not to let him get discouraged or embarrassed by the fact that he was not a strong reader. The fact that his reading skills were low had no effect on his intelligence or maturity, so it was important that he also be challenged and interested. And so, I settled him in front of the poetry section.

"Poems, Mas- uh, Zechs?" Trowa said.

"Mm-hm. You'll find that poetry and singing have a lot in common, and the poems might even help you enhance your voice. Also, poetry is meant to be read out loud, so it won't be odd at all if you want to read it to yourself. If you want something with a little more plot you might want Alice In Wonderland," I said, pulling a copy down from on of the shelves, "It mixes a lot of poetry and wordplay in with a kind dream-story. Take a look at some of the other poems while you're here, particularly these down here," I said, motioning to a shelf of teen-oriented books of poetry. I didn't want him to get discouraged again by picking up a book of Shakespeare or something. "If you still can't find anything, come and get me and we'll try again, alright?" I asked. Trowa nodded offhandedly, already opening the book in his hands. I smiled and walked back to my chair, where I gave them half an hour to look at books. At the end of the time I collected the boys and told them each that I would buy them one book. Duo, who had already spent all his money, had a hard time deciding which comic to get, but eventually settled on one called "Devilman: Son of Satan." I rolled my eyes, but it was reading material, so I didn't protest. Heero picked up a very thick, current manual on computers and webpages. I almost sent him back to pick out something less work-like, but stopped myself. If Heero was interested in computers I would be severely in the wrong to tell him not to learn about them. Quatre picked up an adventure novel about pirates on the high seas. Wufei had two thick, hardcover volumes of classic Greek and Latin stories, but since he had some extra money left I used his extra money to purchase the less expensive of the two books. Trowa showed up with five books of poetry, short stories, and a novel. Alice was the largest and most expensive, so I purchased that one. The rest ranged from $5 to $7, so Trowa had a little money left even after the rest of the books were bought.

From there we went to a fitness store, where I bought Heero some fitness equipment and he bought himself a somewhat expensive pair of hiking boots. Duo wanted a jump rope, but fortunately he was out of money, and I could easily imagine what situations Duo could create with that particular piece of equipment, so Duo didn't get it. He pouted a bit, but I think it was just for show. Duo didn't strike me as greedy, though he did like to take advantage of the situation when he could, and he had already gotten several things he wanted. After about a minute he was done moping and back to jumping around.

The next store was Quatre's pick, a music and instrument store. Even though Quatre didn't have a Collar event featuring music, he still enjoyed playing the piano, and would often help Trowa practice singing by playing the piano. Quatre and Trowa looked at some music books, Wufei examined some of the more interesting instruments, and Heero was asked to escort Duo from the store when he attempted to play one of displayed guitars badly. After a few minutes Quatre picked up three music books, two which included song lyrics and one with only music, and handed them to me. Once paid for, we headed out of the store, collected Heero and Duo, and made a quick stop at a cooking store so Quatre could get some spices and special pans for his cooking lessons. Of course, because they were for Collar, I paid for them.

Our final stop was my choice, though not particularly one I wanted to stop at. I had realized not long ago that the boys had all begun growing, both in height and weight, and had outgrown the few clothes they had brought with them. Quatre and Duo, especially, had gained enough weight that they had outgrown most of their clothes. There weren't any quiet clothing stores, but I did manage to find one that was smaller and fairly affordable. We split into three groups to find the clothing; Quatre and Duo were about the same size, so they went one way, Heero and Wufei went another, and I took Trowa to find some clothes that would fit his tall, lanky figure. It wasn't easy, but within an hour each boy had several new outfits for sleeping, exercising, everyday wear, and at least one outfit for more high class occasions.

From there, I decided to finish the evening by taking everyone for a smoothie. After managing the line, making six different choices, and waiting for all six to be made, we each finally got our drinks and headed back into the mall to take the trek out to the car, fully loaded with bags and gear. On the way out all the boys still seemed in high spirits, but tired from the long day. I could only hope that the sugar rush would last them until we got home. I couldn't help but smile as I watched all the boys except Duo drag as we walked out of the mall. Of course, I was almost certain that Duo would be asleep before the first turn in the car. Honestly, I was surprised he still had this much energy with his treatments being so recently over.

The only oddity I noticed on our way out was that Quatre, who had eaten very little for lunch, didn't seem to be as into his smoothie as I had expected. He would take tiny sips every once in a while, but for the most part he ignored it. When we were almost out of the mall, he traded his for Duo's, saying that it was too sweet. This was odd for two reasons; one, because Duo's smoothie was almost empty and Quatre's was nearly full, and, two, because I knew that Quatre was actually very fond of sweet things, so it didn't make sense to me. I worried for a moment that he might be getting sick, but he was so happy that I couldn't bring myself to comment about it. I resolved to watch him during dinner to make sure he ate, but this resolve was soon forgotten as fatigue took its toll even on me.

The ride home was nearly silent, and Duo, as predicted, fell asleep almost immediately. It was nearly dinnertime when we arrived at the house, but everyone was far too tired for someone to try to cook, especially Quatre, so I ordered out and we all just relaxed until the food came. All the boys ate with gusto and all but Quatre went back for seconds, and from there all but Duo went back for thirds, and only because Duo fell asleep just after the second course.

Trowa and Quatre cleaned up the food from dinner, and Wufei helped Heero carry Duo up to bed. From there we all trickled up the stairs to an early bed.

In my bed, Wufei curled against my back, my mind ran over the occurrences of the day, trying to savor every moment and remember what had happened for future reference. My thoughts settled eventually on Heero, and I had to contemplate just how badly I had neglected him lately. I raked my brain, but for the life of me I couldn't think of a single time where I had shown Heero any kind of affection. No wonder he had gotten anxious after I took Trowa and Wufei. I could make all the excuses I wanted, but as a replacement boyfriend I needed to be more aware of Heero's needs and feelings. I would simply have to make it up to him.

Drifting off to sleep that night, a plan of action was already forming in my mind. By the end of the weekend, Heero would have no doubts about my affection.


	122. Heero 121

The next day was quiet, and everyone seemed content to relax and play with their new toys, Duo specifically. He was up earlier than I had ever seen him, and immediately went to the game system to start his new game. I had to remind him to brush his teeth, then drag him to breakfast.

Quatre made a large breakfast on Sunday, even though Master didn't require him to cook on the weekends. We all enjoyed the big meal, then retired to the den to play games or read. Though I was very interested in my new book, Duo managed to con me into versing him in one of his new games. Trowa and Quatre were seated together on the couch, looking through the new music books. I had no doubt they'd soon move upstairs to the library, where the piano was. Wufei was on the chair, deeply involved with his new book. The only on missing was Master.

I sighed. I had hoped, after I had talked to Master yesterday, that he would talk to me today, but it seemed that he was too busy again. I knew I was being greedy and petty, that I was lucky Master still wanted me at all, but if I were honest with myself I had to admit that I missed having his undivided attention. With Duo rejecting my every advance, even strictly platonic advances, and Master so preoccupied with Collar and the other boys, I was feeling decidedly less... warm than I had before. Master had warmed me with his touches and caresses before, and now I was left cold. It was an unpleasant feeling, but not an intolerable one, and I would simply have to bear it. I had faired far worse in the past, though it would be more difficult now that I knew how good living with an affectionate master could be.

Duo was very fond of his new video game, and it took his several hours to tire of it. I wasn't that interested in car chases and gun fights, but I stayed near Duo anyway, if only to hear his entertaining comments when the game did not go as he liked. Even after Quatre and Trowa went upstairs to play, as expected, and Wufei went to the kitchen to brew some of his new tea, I remained curled in one of the chairs, reading my book and watching over Duo at the same time. Eventually, when Duo fell asleep at his controller, I turned the TV off and put him on the couch, where he could sleep more comfortably. Still recovering from yesterday and his treatments, Duo didn't even stir when I lifted him.

"Did he fall asleep already?" Master wondered, surprising me as he came into the den.

"Ah- yes. It seems that sitting still was too much for him, and he dozed off a few minutes ago."

"Hm. He's probably still worn from the treatments. Yesterday might have been a little soon to take him out, but we don't have a lot of time to waste either."

"He enjoyed it greatly," I replied, "And I think getting his spirits up is more important that keeping him from getting worn out. He'll bounce back by tomorrow," I assured.

"I think you're very right about that," he told me, coming to stand very close and laying a hand on my shoulder, "It's much more important to raise one's spirits than to relax one's body," he told me with a smile, "With that said, we should get going."

"Going, Master?"

"Mm-hm. We're going horseback riding," he said, helping me to my feet. "I was thinking that you've done quite well in riding in the open field, but we haven't tried you on uncertain or uneven terrain. I want to take you into the woods today, to see how you fair riding in the forest."

"Oh," I responded, disappointed. I had hoped Master was planning... something else, but again, he only wanted me for work.

But it was still Master asking me to go, so I dressed quickly and donned my new hiking boots, excited for a chance to try them out, even if we would be riding more than walking. In the barn, I found that Master had already saddled both the horses. My roan, Zero, neighed as I approached, and I found after a moment that his harness was a bit too tight. In the next stall, Zechs' white stallion, Charger, called loudly to me, but he was only jealous of the attention I was giving Zero. The final horse, a filly Zechs had bought in case one of the other boys wanted to ride, quietly awaited my attention in her stall. Duo, who sometimes came to ride with me even though he was fairly hopeless as an equestrian, had taken to her immediately. She was an almost red color, young, energetic, and ornery as hell. Duo had lovingly named her Beelzebub, shortened most often to Bee. Still, she was easier to ride than Zechs' monster, even if she was evil.

Today Bee was relatively calm, since she was the only horse that hadn't been saddled. I assumed, as I rubbed Bee's nose, that only Zechs and I would be riding out today. In the far part of the barn I heard a kitten give a series of frightened mews and rolled my eyes, then went to retrieve the white kitten before it wandered into a stall. I wasn't really worried that it would scare the horses, because by now they only found the kittens a mild annoyance, but that particular kitten had gotten into several near misses with the horses' hooves when it innocently tried to befriend them. I retrieved it and replaced it in the nest, smiling as it playfully attacked one of its siblings the instant it was released from my hands.

"Kittens?" Master wondered as he entered the barn. "Where did they come from?"

"It seems a wildcat has taken up residency here. She had her kittens in one of the empty stalls a few weeks ago, but I just found them last week, when their eyes opened."

"They're cute," Zechs admitted, extending his hand to pet the white one. It immediately latched on to his fingers, playfully biting him. Zechs wrestled with it for a moment before pulling his hand away with a chuckle. "I could buy some food for them, the next time I'm out," Zechs offered. "Feeding them would do a lot in trying to keep them tame."

"That would be nice," I told him, watching as the little white one finally settled down to sleep between the brown and black ones, with the tabby and the orange forming their own bundle a few inches away from the others. "We should probably get going," I told Master, then got to my feet. Master threw another glance down to the kittens, then nodded and rose as well.

"Well, let's mount up and ride out."

The ride was invigorating, and even Zero seemed to be having a good time. Going out of the yard confused the horses at first, but as soon as they got their feet on the new terrain they seemed to enjoy the scenery as much as we did. We rode several miles into the woods, a distance that would have made me nervous if Master hadn't been with me. Instead I was completely at ease as we followed the small river that snaked across the land about a mile from the house.

We left the house around noon, and stopped several hours later at a small clearing where the river was more shallow and calm. We both dismounted, covered in sweat, then allowed the horses to drink. From there Master unsaddle Charger, and after a moment I followed suit with Zero.

"We'll let the horses graze for a bit," Master said, pulling a blanket out of one of the saddlebags. "I brought some sandwiches, if you're hungry," he offered, laying out an impromptu picnic. I nodded and helped him unpack, for I was famished.

Twenty minutes later found both Master and myself stuffed to the brink of exploding, laying back on the blanket like we would never move again. Well, like I would never move again. Master, however, seemed to be making a valiant effort toward getting up.

"Come on, lazy bones," Master teased, pulling me to a sitting position, "It's far too hot to lay around."

"No, it's far too hot to move around," I whined in protest, but stopped as Master took his shirt off and threw it at me. I caught it... with my face.

"Come on, you don't want to ride home all sweaty," Master said as I pulled his shirt off my face. "A quick dip will make you feel a lot better, trust me."

"Alright," I said.

_Removed for content._


	123. Zechs 122

Alright... I couldn't hold out. Sorry, but I'm not going to make it until May. So, you're getting what I have now. I actually stopped at a place that isn't so much of a cliffhanger. Another plus is that I get out of school in May, so at most you'll only miss one month's update and be late on another. But being this far ahead is just killing me, because I have to watch everything I can say when talking to reviewers, and I could actually use some advice. I'm not too sure how everything is coming out, or what I'm going to do with the second half of the summer. But, anyway, here you go. Sorry I couldn't hold out any longer.

11111111111111111111111111111111

I felt a sense of accomplishment as Heero and I rode home Sunday night, even though it was nearly dark and I was sore from head to toe, from more than just the ride. I couldn't help but feel that maybe, just maybe, I was staring to get the boys settled. After the lives of constant fear and change they had lead, I felt that I was starting to give them a solid foundation for normal life. I thought I could just see the end of the long road the boys were on.

But I was wrong. If I only knew how far we had left to go.

I slept like the dead Sunday night, feeling only a slight pang of regret that Heero wasn't in my arms. Still, Heero had chosen to room with Duo, and I wouldn't put Wufei out of his bed a second time. It was bad enough that all the other boys fought with anxieties, I didn't want to give Wufei a reason to be anxious by moving him around whenever one of the boys caught my fancy. I wasn't so shallow, though I did miss having Heero in my arms once in a while. Heero liked to curl up on my chest, while Wufei preferred to sleep in my arms, beside me. Both had advantages and disadvantages. I liked having Heero so close, but I would often regret it in the morning. On the other hand, having Heero on my chest prevented him from rolling away, as Wufei often did, so that I would have to chase after him in the middle of the night.

The next morning I slept late and skipped breakfast, going straight into another meeting about my financial situations. Preventor's salaries were good, but not nearly enough to get me into Collar. Of course, I wasn't facing any kind of deficit where money was concerned, and I could well afford to entertain myself with the pleasures of Collar, but I found losing a little money here and a little money there did much more damage than large purchases when dealing with thousands of different investments. A thousand little trickles eventually lets the money flow away. Even though I only handled the largest investments, there were still several hundred that needed watched, and my employees were constantly giving me requests to add or remove money from investments that were losing or gaining in profit revenues. Keeping track of my inheritance was almost like running a business, except that I didn't have to deal with investors or bureaucracy. I was literally playing with money, but it sucked anyway.

I spent the first three hours of the morning listening to the pros and cons of taking on new businesses that looked risky, then took a break to see how the boys were fairing. Duo even managed to get me to verse him on his new video game, though I did leave after his character exploded mine's head. Then it was on to another two hours of hearing why I should or shouldn't pull money out of businesses that seemed close to failure. This part of business was always the hardest for me, because I knew that by pulling money out of the business I would risk shutting down the company entirely, and losing jobs for hundred of workers. I salvaged any business in low-class areas that looked like there was a possibility they might come back, but there were several that I knew would shut down with or without my help. I was just putting them to sleep early.

By the end of that work period I was more than ready for a break. I took an hour for lunch, even though I had very little appetite, a feeling that Quatre seemed to share with me.

"Quatre, aren't you hungry?" I wondered. It was odd for a boy his age not to be hungry, ever.

"Ah-... That is, I had a big breakfast," he replied, blushing a little. I hadn't been at breakfast, and no one else protested, so I took him at his word, even if Trowa looked a little confused about his comment. Still, Quatre didn't have the look of someone who had eaten more than enough. If I hadn't known better, I would have thought he looked hungry.

From there it was back to working with my stocks and bonds for the rest of the afternoon, and Wufei had to call me three times for dinner before I could get away. But it was a sacrifice I would have to continue to make if I wished to remain wealthy and officially jobless. My unofficial job certainly didn't make me enough to maintain this lifestyle.

To be honest, it usually wasn't this hard. Normally I would check up on my stocks, bonds, and savings one day a week, either at the office or by phone. The reason I was having such trouble catching up was that, in preparing for this mission, I hadn't checked on my finances in nearly three months. Combined with all the extravagant recent expenses I had been racking up and I would soon face financial trouble if things weren't put in order, and I couldn't allow that. Financial trouble could mean expulsion from Collar, which would lose me more than just money. If I didn't get my money straightened out soon I risked losing the boys and not completing the mission, and that was something I couldn't risk.

So I found myself in the awkward position of trying to balance working, playing, maintaining five different relationships, training five slaves, and trying to recuperate five damaged teenage boys. It was not a pleasant situation to be in, or one that helped at all with my stress levels. But I couldn't let the boys see me floundering, I couldn't let them think that there might be some danger of me falling and taking them down with me, so I took great pains to keep them from seeing how much stress I was under, and did so with almost complete success.

Quatre was to be my next worry, I found over the next few days. His trend of not eating continued, though he attempted valiantly to cover it. Repeated questions toward his health were positively responded to, and if he wasn't sick then I couldn't figure out what in the world was wrong with him. He wasn't depressed and his energy certainly hadn't suffered. I even found him running a few laps on the treadmill in his free time. But if he wasn't sick or depressed, why wasn't he eating? I couldn't figure it out.

I contemplated asking Sally fro advice, but she wouldn't be back for a consultation until Thursday, and I didn't want making a trip out here if it was nothing. Still, I also didn't want Quatre to go an entire week barely eating. Eventually, I became so confused that I once again resorted asking Wufei for advice.

"What do you want me to tell you? I'm barely closer to Quatre than you are," he hedged and continued to place books on the shelf. I had thought that catching him in the library would make it easier for us to talk in private, but it seemed I had only made it easier for him to run from me.

"What about Trowa? I know he holds you in high regard. Hasn't he said anything?" I asked, following him as he moved around the library. Wufei gave me a semi-offended, semi-annoyed look.

"First of all, if Trowa had said something in confidence to me, I would not repeat it to you. Second of all, what makes you think he's said anything at all to me? That boy could give a mime a run for his money."

"Stop avoiding this," I said sternly, taking Wufei's hand to keep him from moving away. "This is serious, Wufei. I need to know if Trowa has said anything to you," I said, holding Wufei's eyes with my own. After a moment he looked down, then pulled away slowly and set the rest of the books on the table.

"He's been depressed in class lately, but he won't tell me what's wrong. I'm not sure even he knows, and it's probably driving him just as crazy as it is you."

"Damn," I swore and plopped down on one of the wooden desk chairs. I had hoped that Trowa had told something to Wufei, because I wasn't sure he would tell me. Trowa was very protective of Quatre, and if he thought whatever was wrong with the other boy might cause trouble he certainly wouldn't rat him out. And if even Trowa didn't know what was wrong with Quatre there weren't great odds that I would find out either.

"It's probably nothing," Wufei said, shuffling the books on the table. "From what you told me, it could be lots of things."

"Like what?" I asked, suddenly wondering if Wufei might know more than he was letting on.

"Like... ah... hormones," he hedged again, suddenly nervous.

"Hormones make teens cranky, weepy, and prone to bouncing between the two. It does not kill their appetite. What else?"

"Ah... he could be anxious about something."

"There's nothing coming up soon that would worry him, and he's happier than ever. Try again."

"He could... ah... that is..." Wufei stuttered, backing away as I advanced toward him.

"I don't have time to play games about this, Wufei. What do you know?" I growled, backing him into a corner and glaring down at him. Wufei, far from cowering, merely bit his lip and looked away.

"Slaves that are... slimmer and more feminine often have a tendency for... eating disorders," he admitted cautiously.

"Eating disorders?" I wondered, stunned. "Like he's purposefully starving himself?"

"Yes, and no. Slaves with eating disorders usually don't have a lot of control over it. They don't see themselves as attractive enough to be safe, so they starve themselves to look better. It's a vicious cycle with feminine slaves, because the less they eat, the worse they feel, the more they believe they need to diet. The more masculine slaves have a similar disorder, though it is slightly reversed. They all use steroids and eat to gain muscle, so they all keep getting bigger, so they all need to eat more to be competitive. Many face health problems because of it, and quite a few die. Feminine slaves have become more popular recently, though, so it's more likely see a slave with a weight loss problem than a weight gain. Surrounding slaves, our peers, so to say, are often vicious and compound the problem by humiliating the slave. Some masters, though, don't see it as a problem, and even encourage their slaves to have these disorders."

"You don't think I would..."

"No. I never thought for an instant that you would encourage Quatre's problem, but..." he hesitated, biting his lip again.

"What is it?" I prodded, desperate for more information. I had never even contemplated the possibility of an eating disorder with one of my slaves, though now it seemed a natural occurrence for these inhuman conditions.

"Knowing about Quatre's problem might not be of any help to you. It can take years for a person to overcome an eating disorder, and I've never known a slave to overcome a severe case of it."

"So you think this is severe?"

"I don't know. There was a long period of time where Quatre was eating normally without any prodding, so it could be that he is simply feeling anxious about something and is trying to make himself safer by becoming more attractive to the master. On the other hand, there could be many other reasons to explain his period of normality in a long term disorder."

"Like what?"

"He could have been expecting you to starve him, so he would have tried to put on weight to last him through that. He could have been attempting to recover from his sickness by keeping his strength up, and now that he's well he's decided to get skinny again. He could be on some sort of long term binge and purge thing where he eats for a few weeks then quits for a few more. Hell, it could come and go in phases. I don't know!" he admitted, sighing in frustration. I backed up and sat down again at the table, giving him some space and time to cool down. But I still needed his help, so I couldn't wait for long.

"So... should I confront him?"

"Don't be stupid. He'll just make up an excuse, eat fine for a couple of days, then fast again. You could even drive him into a real binge and purge sequence. He needs therapy."

"I could have him talk to Sally."

"It won't help. By the time she gets him to trust her we'll probably already be back at Collar. Besides, there's no way he'd believe that everything he says to her won't get back to you. If it's something related to you causing this behavior, which it most likely is, then it would just be a waste of time."

"Then what can I do?"

"I don't know," Wufei admitted sourly. "There aren't a lot of masters who pay enough attention to their slaves to notice this kind of thing, and the ones who do don't talk about it. I just... You're a good man, Zechs, you'll find a way to help him," Wufei assured, laying a hand on my shoulder. "I know you will."

"And if I don't?" I asked him. "What then? Do we leave Quatre to die?"

"He won't die."

"People die from this all the time."

"Weak people die from this. Quatre is strong, even if he is a slave. He will overcome it, but he needs help. You will not disappoint him."

"And if I do?"

"You cannot. It is not who you are. You will help him, no matter what you have to do."


	124. Zechs 123

I gave Quatre another day to turn it around. I even suggested he make soup for dinner, in case he was getting sick. I watched closely how much he ate and drank during meals, seeing with wonder as he moved things around and slipped pieces of food into his napkin to make it seem like he was eating more than he was. His words about having just eaten, or having a large other meal, or snacking during the day were now dismissed as preposterous. Quatre was barely eating anything. I consulted Trowa next, trying to keep our meeting brief and minimally invasive. I needed to make sure Quatre wasn't keeping snacks in his room, and make absolutely sure that he wasn't sick, before I could pursue him for anorexia. Trowa was hesitant, at first, to give up information, but opened up when I assured him that Quatre was not in trouble. My fears were immediately confirmed, but I did gain some relief in the knowledge that Trowa had not heard Quatre throwing up at all in the past week. It was hard enough to think of Quatre as anorexic, but I shuddered to think that he might be bulimic as well. It was a constant struggle that day to keep from saying something, to keep from holding Quatre down and feeding him. Seeing the clothes I had bought him only days ago suddenly become loose and baggy made me cringe and look away. The bright smile he wore on his face, too, hurt me, because it suddenly seemed hollow and empty. A broken mask. I couldn't have lasted longer than Wednesday, even if I had wanted to. It seemed almost divine intervention to keep me from procrastinating, as Sally called to say she was busy and would have to stop by on Monday. Not even the promise of Sally's advice would give me another day, and I wasn't sure I could have waited for her anyway. Still, it took me all day to decide how to approach him, and I finally settled on taking him up to the library after dinner so that we could talk. It wasn't a great plan, and it was far too close to an actual confrontation for me to be fond of it, but I was running out of patience and Quatre was running out of spare pounds. Dinner was a long and arduous affair for me, though it was usually something I enjoyed immensely. Tonight, though, I couldn't manage to concentrate on Duo's story of virtual conquest, or Heero's newest tale of feline mischief. I barely managed to rouse myself enough to congratulate Trowa on his latest scholarly achievement, and I simply wasn't in the mood to engage in witty banter with Wufei. All my attention was focused on Quatre's plate, and I had to remind myself several times not to stare at him. I was so out of it that it wouldn't have taken the boys long to figure out something was wrong if they had been paying attention. Wufei, however, seemed to be at top form tonight, and managed to deflect most of the attention from me by keeping up an energetic dialogue. Only Quatre and I were mostly silent.  
It wasn't until desert that there came an opening that was slightly better than the confrontation I had been planning and dreading for later than night. It came to me as an epiphany, the plan forming almost immediately in my head. It was risky, but no more or less so than a direct confrontation. Perhaps the thing that swung my choice most was that it just felt better than the confrontation, which didn't feel right at all. I was more confident with this plan, and confidence was really all a master was in the end, right?  
For dessert, Quatre served a triple-layer chocolate fudge cake, with a thick layer of fudged in the middle and coated with a homemade chocolate butter-cream icing. The top was sprinkled with chocolate shavings that seemed to almost float on the thick layer of icing at the top. It wasn't as fancy a dessert as Collar would require, but it looked delicious.  
"Aren't you having a piece?" I asked as Quatre deliberately passed up his own seat and served a large piece of cake to Trowa. "It's too rich for me," Quatre replied easily. "Besides, I'm not very fond of chocolate," he said, but I had little doubt that he was lying. Quatre had never had a problem with sweets before.  
"I think I've eaten too much as well," I said, trying to keep my voice neutral. "Perhaps I'll skip dessert tonight as well"  
"Oh," Quatre said, looking hurt. "Are you sure?" he wondered, causing all eyes at the table to turn to us. But I wouldn't be swayed in my resolve, so shook my head. "I'm sure. Anyway, what were you saying, Wufei"  
"Ah..." Wufei hesitated, staring at me deeply. His eyes asked me what I was doing, and I tried to tell him to trust me with my own. He must have gotten the message, because he dove back into his explanation of Mongolian horsemanship. He and Heero got so involved, in fact, that it occupied the attention of the table for the rest of the meal.  
The meal was not officially over until all the occupants were done with their food and the conversation had finished. No one was allowed to leave until the meal was over, and this was one rule that I was very strict about. However, our meals were most often considered over when Duo began to bounce around, whining about missing his TV show. "Please? Come on, this is the one where Truckzilla takes on Moby Suburban!" said, fairly bouncing in his seat. "Fine, get out of here," I dismissed, and the table began to clear out, with everyone picking up their dishes and heading toward various chores and activities. "Quatre, you stay"  
Quatre hesitated, casting a frightened glance at Trowa, who could only give him a confused stare in return. "Go on," I told Trowa gently, giving him a push toward the kitchen, "Don't you have a gun lesson later tonight?" I asked. We both knew he did, so Trowa could only nod and move toward the kitchen. Wufei, too, had paused in the door way, and threw me a look telling me not to screw up before he left the room. And then we were alone. Quatre sat back down nervously, his head down and his hands clasped in his lap as though he expected to be yelled at. But I didn't yell, or say anything at all. Instead, I cut a large piece of cake and sat down beside Quatre. Quatre, of course, looked at the cake as though he'd never seen anything like it before, then looked at me, like he needed to know what to do with it. Again, I said nothing, merely cutting a bite-sized chunk of the piece with my fork, then stabbing it and lifting it into the air. I took a bite, savored the flavor, chewed slowly, then swallowed. Beside me, Quatre made a pained, mewling sound, and I looked up to see that Quatre was staring determinedly at his hands, a blush on his face. I refused to allow myself any facial expression. I didn't want to give Quatre any hints that I might know what was going on. It would only upset him more, and he might bolt. Instead, I cut another piece of cake, lanced it with the fork, and raised it to Quatre's lips. It hovered there for a moment as Quatre just stared, unsure of what to do. A second later, he shook his head, pulling away from me. "Master, I don't"  
"Quatre," I said firmly. "Open"  
"Ah," he hesitated. "Now," I demanded. Quatre seemed to see that I meant business, because his eyes slammed shut and his mouth popped open, almost without his consent. I put the cake into his mouth, then tapped his chin with the fork. His mouth closed and he began to chew, but stopped after a moment. "Swallow," I instructed. He took a deep breath and followed my command, swallowing like it was mud in his mouth, not chocolate. I didn't expect for him to start crying in the next second, but it wasn't completely unexpected. I sighed and pulled him into my arms, pillowing his head on my shoulder. "Shh," I cooed, trying to calm him. "You're not in trouble. I just... I need to know what's wrong," I told him, but Quatre could only sob in response. "You haven't been eating all week, have you?" I wondered. Quatre gave a hard sob and shook his head. "I thought so," I sighed, trying to decide what to say next. In maintaining the master and slave relationship there was no way I could tell him that I didn't care what he looked like, so I would have to try a different route. I chose my words carefully, and spoke softly. "You must understand, I would really prefer to have you healthy than skinny. I don't want a pale, sickly child. I don't care what you say about this, if you're not eating properly your concentration will be affected, and we can't have that if you're training for Collar. But, most of all, I want you to feel safe here. I'm not going to sell, I promise," I told him, staring deep into his captivated blue eyes. "So I want you to eat normally again, alright?" I asked, holding my breath for his answer. He seemed overcome with emotion, and could only nod as more tears slid down his face. "That's my boy," I sighed as I drew him closer and embraced him. It was several minutes before we parted again, but when we did I could tell that Quatre was feeling better. The hollowness was gone from his eyes, and he actually smiled and laughed nervously.  
"I suppose you're hungry, then," I teased him, "Do you think you can eat the rest of the cake?" I dared. Oddly enough, Quatre blushed again and turned away. "Um... Master"  
"Hm"  
"I really don't like chocolate," he admitted, still blushing. I could only stare at him in surprise, then laughed so hard it hurt. In a minute, he joined me. 


	125. Heero 124

I tried to ignore the fact that Duo didn't like me. The fact that something was going on between Master and Quatre kept my mind off of it for a little while, but I couldn't really get involved in the situation because no one knew what was going on. At least, Trowa, Duo, and I were left out of the loop. That wasn't to say that Wufei didn't know more about the situation that he was letting on, but Wufei was never one to gossip, so there was no point in asking him. By the weekend, not even a hiking trip to the river could completely keep my mind off of my sorrows. Not that we didn't have a great trip, or that I wasn't grateful to Master for giving me the chance to try out my new boots, but no matter how much fun I was having I couldn't seem to get the buzzing of doubt in the back of my mind to be silent.  
Quatre and Trowa made it worse, as cruel as it sounds. I didn't blame them for it, but watching them laugh and hug and touch, so freely and without concern, made me feel that there must be something severely lacking for Duo to push me back so harshly. Was I that bad a person, to not deserve such friendship?  
What hurt the most, I think, was that we often shared a bed. Even though we slept in the same room, Duo would often have nightmares if someone didn't hold him in his sleep, and that person was most often me. It hurt to feel him press against me at night, knowing that he would put several feet between us the next day. It hurt even worse when I would wake up each morning and discover him gone, often sleeping in my bed instead of bearing my touch after he woke up. Was I so repulsive that he had to leap from my arms each morning and put five feet of distance between us? Was that all I was to him, a warm body and a lumpy pillow? These thoughts left me feeling cold and used on more than one morning, and they had become increasingly unbearable. I couldn't so much blame Duo for what he did at night, without his consent. But even awake, Duo found ways of cutting into my soul. What hurt the worst was that we were, for all intents and purposes, the best of friends. He acted like he liked me, and often hung around me even when he didn't have to. I did many things for him, and he often tried to do things for me, though the intent was usually better than the gift where he was concerned. It was just that whenever I got close, he would still push me away. He would smile and apologize right afterward, brushing it off like he hadn't meant it, but I always saw the fear and anger in his eyes. I couldn't understand what I had done to gain such treatment, and in the end I just gave up. By Monday, I knew I couldn't stand it any longer. I found Master and Sally in his office, crowding around a small table in the back and speaking in light tones. I had hoped to catch Master alone, but with his schedule I wasn't sure I would get time. So, instead, I hesitantly entered the office, feeling ready to bolt at any second. "Is there something you need, Heero?" he asked politely. "I was wondering if I could talk to you later," I told him. "I'll probably be busy all afternoon. Is there something you needed? Could you tell me now"  
"Ah... I don't want to interrupt"  
"It's fine, I'm sure Sally doesn't mind. Now what did you want"  
"I wanted to know if I could switch rooms with someone," I told him. Both he and Sally looked surprised, then immediately exchanged glances. I was aware that Master and Sally often talked about us, but I wasn't aware that Sally knew so much about us.  
"Why would you want to change rooms?" Master asked deliberately. "I don't my personality fulfills all of Duo's needs for a roommate"  
"Speak plainly, Heero"  
"I think Duo would prefer to room with someone else," I admitted. "Why would you think that?" Sally wondered.  
"He... He doesn't like to have me around him, close to him like Quatre and Trowa get with each other. He doesn't like it when I touch him, even if it's accidental. He gets very angry if I try to touch him on purpose," I said. Again Sally and Zechs exchanged worried looks.  
"Is it just you that he gets upset with?" Master asked. "Uh... That I'm aware of. The others don't have as many chances to get close to him as I do, but I've never seen him react so strongly to them," I said. Sally looked at me curiously, studying my face. "What about the other times you're around him? Does he try to avoid you"  
"No," I responded quickly. "He's very friendly. He likes to talk a lot, and he most often talks to me"  
"And what about when he needs help with something? Who does he go to, if given a choice"  
"He always comes to me. That's why I assumed he would prefer me as a roommate, to aide in his recovery, but apparently I was wrong. Even while he recovered he would only let me close if he was in severe pain, otherwise he'd brush me off"  
"Have you ever asked him about this?" Master wondered, drawing my attention away from Sally. I hesitated, because I never had confronted him about it. I hadn't wanted to seem needy or controlling, and now it seemed to be to late.  
"I think actions speak louder than words here," I told him, unable to meet his eyes.  
"Why don't you go get Duo, then, and we'll see if we can't get this all straightened out"  
I nodded once, because I didn't feel any reply was needed, then turned and left quickly. Once in the hall, I began to regret my decision to attempt a room exchange. If I hadn't been at the absolute end of my rope with Duo, I certainly wouldn't have bothered Master with my problems. But I was completely at a loss for what to do about Duo, and I was afraid of what would happen if either of us cracked and went off on the other. I couldn't honestly say which of us was more likely to break, because I was desperate to get Duo to let me in, and Duo was desperate to keep me out. There was nothing I could do, and the helplessness was killing me. I was at the point where I just wanted him to accept my help or push me away for ever; no more wavering between.  
"Duo," I called quietly, keeping my tone neutral. If Duo thought he was in trouble he would probably fight about going down to see Master, and I felt bad enough already. "Master wants to see you"  
"Aw, now? I'm about to beat my record!" "Come on. You spend too much time on that thing anyway"  
"Fine," he huffed, pausing the game then tossing the controller on the ground. He pushed himself to his feet, then huffed and started to walk downstairs. In the doorway, I reached out to touch his shoulder, a last-ditch effort to convince myself that I was simply overreacting. As I expected, he flinched away, spinning the whole way around and trying to cover it with a smile.  
"Come on, slowpoke. You're not going to make me face him alone, are you?" he teased. I shook my head, feeling guilty enough to offer him a small smile. I always acted as a buffer between Master and Duo, because their powerful personalities often clashed without a mediator. When we got back downstairs, Master and Sally were talking in hushed tones inside the room. Duo reached for the doorknob, but I intercepted him by grabbing his wrist. He glared at me, then harshly yanked his hand away from me. I managed to swallow a sigh, then knocked on the door. Only when Master had given permission did I open the door.  
"So, what's up?" Duo wondered without the least respect. "Heero seems to think that you might prefer a different roommate," Master said, not phased by Duo's disrespect.  
"He... what?" Duo wondered, stunned and confused. "Ask him yourself," Master replied, nodding toward me. I froze as Duo turned toward me. "W-what's going on, Heero?" Duo asked me. I opened my mouth, but could speak. I had to swallow before I could try again.  
"I... I make you uncomfortable. I just... I thought you might prefer someone who makes you less nervous"  
"But... I... You... I mean... I don't want a different roommate!" Duo snapped, stomping his foot. "You're a great roommate"  
"But... you're always so guarded around me," I responded. Duo looked away, and blushed. "I..." Duo hesitated. "I think there's a simple solution to this misunderstanding," Master interjected. "Heero believes that he makes you uncomfortable because you become upset if he touches. You have assured us that you are very fond of Heero as a roommate. So, the easiest way to put Heero's mind to rest would be for you to allow him to touch you," Master said. Duo jumped, taking a step back, and going pale. For a moment, everything was still and silent, until Master frowned at Duo. "Is that alright"  
"Uh... Yeah, I guess"  
"Alright, then. Give him your hand," Master instructed. Without hesitation, I extended my hand toward Duo, only to stop as I realized Duo was not reaching toward me. Instead, he was shivering, his eyes darting around in an almost panicked frenzy. "Duo?" I wondered, mystified as to what could have caused this reaction. I suddenly realized, with a deep sense of confusion and hurt, than I had caused this reaction in Duo. That the idea of touching me was so repulsive to him that he was practically fainting.  
"It's alright, Duo," Master said, rising to stand next to us. "Do you want someone else to do this with you?" Master asked, and I let my hand drop away, turning my face to hide tears of hurt and humiliation.  
"No," Duo whispered harshly, and I looked back to find him staring at me, his face a mask of guilt and frustration. "Then you will have to reach out to Heero," Master said determinedly. It was the wrong thing to say, I realized instantly, and Duo's face suddenly went from upset to angry. "Fuck you!" he screamed, turning on Master like a demon had taken hold of him. "Don't fucking tell me what to do! I'm not gonna be your fuck toy so fuck off!" he screamed, then pushed over a small table housing an ornamental plant. It fell and shattered on the ground, and the sound surprised Duo out of whatever trance he had been in, causing him to come back to himself and run off.  
I turned to give chase, but Master caught my arm. I looked at him in surprise, but he merely shook his head. "Sit down," he commanded seriously, motioning to a chair between himself and Sally as he seated himself. I sat, cautiously, afraid of what would happen next. Nothing had gone as I expected today, and now I wasn't sure what to expect. "Sally and I want to discuss Duo's behavior with you, but first we need you to answer some question," Master told me. I swallowed and nodded fearfully. "Calm down, Heero," Sally said kindly, reaching over to pat my hand. "Neither you nor Duo is in trouble. Zechs is just worried about you two. He's not angry," Sally said, giving Master a look. Master, in return, looked sheepish, and ran a hand through my hair. "No one's going to get punished for this, I promise," Master assured me. "Now, I need you to tell me about Duo's problem." 


	126. Zechs 125

I couldn't believe I hadn't seen it before.  
All the signs had been there, all the clues present, it was only my own blinded eyes that could have missed putting them together. The slaves had all noticed something, even if they could not name it. Only Heero, who was closest to Duo, had been able to pinpoint the cause of Duo's erratic behavior, but even then he had been unsure of the cause. Duo hid it well.  
"Has Duo ever allowed you to touch him?" Sally asked, her voice warm, but clinical, trying to keep Heero calm and make a diagnosis at the same time. "When he is asleep," Heero admitted. "And when he wakes up"  
"He leaves immediately. He gets upset if I try to hold him. I've told you this already"  
"I know, I just need to be sure. Now, does he act differently with the other boys"  
"Yes. He is less... violently defensive around them"  
"Are they able to touch him"  
"No. He doesn't allow them to get as close, but if they do accidentally brush up against him he's better able to control his reaction"  
"Control"  
"Yes. He flinches, but he does not push them away"  
"What if they try to touch him"  
"He avoids them"  
"And if that does not work"  
"He will get very upset. Wufei has pushed his limits a few times, and he and Duo have gotten into confrontations about it"  
"Violent confrontations"  
"Not if Wufei doesn't reach for him. They're just very loud. Duo threatens a lot, but he more often runs away"  
"I see," Sally said, quickly writing down notes on her chart. She turned to me when she finished and asked, "Can you support his answers"  
"Yes. I never noticed this behavior in Duo before, but it was there the whole time. I can't believe I didn't see it"  
"He hides it well," Sally dismissed offhandedly, writing on her chart again. "With all the other things wrong with him, and the fact that everyone's just getting to know him, I'm not surprised you missed it"  
"Missed what?" Heero asked innocently, his blue eyes wide with worry. I smiled gently at him, hoping to console him. "We think that Duo might have a... a sort of touch-phobia"  
"Haphephobia, to be exact," Sally interjected. "Ha-what?" Heero wondered.  
"It's the scientific term for a person who is afraid of human touch," I told him, giving a look to Sally that, I hoped, would tell her not to confuse Heero any more than he already was. "We think Duo may have a psychological problem that keeps him from touching or being touched by others. So, you must see, it's not that Duo doesn't like you"  
"Actually," Sally interjected, "the fact that Duo gets maddest at you might be because he likes and respects you more than the others. He lets you closer than them, so it hurts more when you cross his invisible barrier"  
"So... it's not really his fault"  
"No," I told him seriously. "It's not his fault at all. That doesn't mean we can allow this to continue, but he's not in trouble because of it"  
"So what should I do"  
"For now, go try to calm Duo, then go back to the room the two of you share. I'd like to give him some time to calm, then try to talk to him again before we do anything. Sally and I will discuss what else we can do to help his progress, but right now I just want you to help Duo in anyway you can, alright"  
"Yes, Master," Heero responded instantly, getting to his feet. Now that he had been given a focus point, a mission, Heero was much more grounded and centered, ready to do whatever was necessary. "Go on, then," I dismissed, shooing him out the door. He nodded, then was gone. I let out a long breath, feeling a headache coming on.  
"This isn't going to be easy," Sally said as I watched the door Heero had just disappeared through. "I know"  
"Duo's going to fight us the whole way"  
"I know"  
"We might make things worse"  
"I know"  
"The best course of action would be to hand him over to a therapist"  
"You know we can't do that"  
"I'm not a psychologist"  
"But you're friends with them. Find out what we should do, Sally, because I can't do this on my own," I told her. She sighed and I realized that she and I were probably feeling the same things.  
"I wouldn't leave you alone with this," she told me quietly. "I just... Zechs, this is serious. I don't know if I can fix this"  
"And we're running out of time," I told her, "but all we can do is try. If he can't allow himself to be touched I will have to drug him through Collar and any summer visits I take. I can't afford to be seen without him, even with Wufei. Taming the Shinigami gives me too much credit not to take him, but drugging him will certainly make this problem worse. It will be almost impossible to get him to trust me if I drug him and take him to Collar. If we don't get it to happen before Collar"  
"I know, I know," Sally muttered, rubbing her head. "The best approach to this problem would be to send him to psychiatrist, and maybe some medication for anxiety, but it would take several months for the psychiatrist to get through to him, and I doubt he would take the medicine"  
"All time and resources we don't have," I replied. "So what's plan B"  
"Plan B is risky and very likely to make things worse before it makes them better. I want to try to get him to talk to me first, but I doubt he'll tell me anything. If he does, I'll try to medicate him and continue therapy sessions. If not... we'll have to try something a little more severe"  
"Like what"  
"We'll try to break him of his fear. I'll give you shots that will cause mild paralysis and repress his anxiety. From there you will have to desensitize him to touch without making him feel that he's being used. Hopefully, with a lot of effort and a little luck, you will be able to break him of his fear enough to start touching him in normal situations, and progress from there. It will be much quicker than traditional methods, but there's a much higher risk of failure"  
"Are the drugs really necessary"  
"If you don't want him to hurt himself. He'll fight you tooth and nail otherwise, and we don't want him to associate pain with touch. If he's calm, we can break that association from his mind. If he panics, we could just make things worse. There's a possibility, also, that his body has begun to associate touch and pain on its own, because there's a very slight chance he could remain without touch for this long on mental capacity only. The human psyche needs physical affection"  
"His nightmares could be the outlet for that need. They do calm as soon as Heero holds him"  
"It's a good possibility, but it doesn't really help us. We're still working with a mind and body that fear touch. It's risky, Zechs, and you could easily lose his trust forever"  
"We have to try." 


	127. Duo 126

They were on to me. I had known I wouldn't be able to get away with it forever, but I figured I could go at least a few more months. I was scared that once the big blonde got a taste for me he'd just keep coming back, and I wasn't sure I could stand that. There was only one thing he wanted from me, and once he got it he'd stop being so nice and start being a real master.  
At least, that's what my head told me when I was calm enough to listen. It told me to run, scream, steal, whatever it took to keep him away from me. To keep them all away. To keep me safe.  
I realized later, once I had calmed in my hidey-hole in the basement, that the jig was up. Zechs had to know something was going on or he never would have made such a weird order. Seeing me bolt like that would have only confirmed it, especially since it was Heero. If I wouldn't let Heero touch me, who would I?  
It hurt, a little, the fact that Heero had turned me in, at the same time that I kind of felt I deserved it. I had known how much my distance was hurting Heero, and I had seen the pain in his eyes when I yelled at him for touching me. If I had been kinder, I would have said I didn't like Heero, demanded my own room, and sent him running back to Zechs. As much as I mouth about Zechs, he would have taken care of Heero. He would have taken the pain away, and he would have separated us. It would put me into an uncertain position, but it certainly would have been better for Heero than this constant limbo. But I was selfish, greedy, and having the time of my life. I liked having someone around to share jokes with, and I liked surprising chuckles and smiles out of Heero. I wanted Heero to cuddle me out of my nightmares, even if I had to push him away as soon as I was awake. I wanted Heero to touch me, but I was afraid of it. So I kept him close, but just out of reach, because I was also afraid of being alone again. I was a coward, but I was so very happy. "Stupid," I muttered darkly, rubbing my eyes. Tears would not come, but they prickled at my eyes. Still, I would not let them come. I could not afford to be weak right now, not when they found out I was useless.  
What good is a sex slave who can't stand to be touched? What good is a stripper who can't stand the feeling of eyes on him? I was less than useless, now. Without being drugged beyond comprehension I was completely unable to move, and being drugged didn't leave me much better. My reputation had gotten me this far on borrowed time, but it couldn't last forever. My novelty would wear off once they saw how weak I had gotten in Zechs' hands, and that would be the end of me. It had been a good run, though, hadn't it? I'd had some of the best times of my life in the last few weeks. I had enjoyed over a month of being healthy, full, relaxed, and content. I was living in the lap of luxury, for a slave, without even being used for it. So what if it ended? Everything does. I'd be okay, or I'd die. There were only two choices, and neither looked particularly frightening to after everything I'd been through.  
I sighed, finally coming down from my panic, and contemplated going upstairs. I could hear a cooking show on the TV, which probably meant Quatre would be in the livingroom. I hoped they'd saved my game before they sat down, but I wouldn't be terribly upset if they hadn't. I loved playing the game, I didn't really care how far I got in it. I sat back again after a moment's thought, realizing Trowa was probably in the livingroom, too, not making a single sound. I liked Quatre and Trowa a lot, but it was hard for me to look at them. They always sat very close together when they could, and they would often hold hands or rub each other's feet or some other sentimental crap. Whatever it was, they were almost always holding each other, and it was very hard to look at while knowing Heero wanted to do the exact same thing with me and wondering if it would feel as good as it looked. There had been times when I needed to walk out of the room just to control my own urge to have that with Heero, and other times when he had left. His leaving usually hurt most, because I knew at those times that I was the sole reason we couldn't have that. I would see pain in Heero's eyes and know that I had caused it when he had only been trying to help me. Knowing I was hurting an innocent soul like his hurt me more than I'd like to admit, and sometimes it even made me angry at Heero. I would see him wanting to get closer to me and I'd begin to want it, too. Sometimes he'd try it and I'd rebuff him, causing a hurt in his eyes that made pain flare in me so that I'd have to storm off to hide it. Other times he'd simply get this defeated look on his face and move away, and damn it all to hell but I would feel so disappointed when he moved away that I'd freaking yell at him anyway. It was terrible, and in no way Heero's fault, and it just made me feel more guilty that he was getting all the heat for it. When Zechs had laid him open with a whip in my place I hadn't felt as guilty as this, as stupid as that sounds. There were soft footsteps on the stairs, but there was only one person it could be, so I didn't bother getting up. Heero and I had laundry duty together, and he was the only one who knew that I would come down here to collect myself when everything seemed to be falling apart. It was cool in the basement and it smelled like fabric softener. It was quiet and dim, like a hole in time that I could just slip into and let everything pass by. It reminded me of the streets, when the gang would find safe haven in an abandoned basement. Basements were always the best; they rarely leaked, they were insulated from the wind, they stayed warm forever if you could get them warmed up, and they just... I don't know... they always felt safe, even if they were never the same one for long. They all somehow had that same faint scent of fabric softener, even if they hadn't been used in years. This basement was far better than any I had hidden in when I was young, but it was still a basement. "Duo? Are you alright?" he asked me, coming directly to where I lay, hidden about a foot back in shelves that had been built into the wall. One thing I liked about Heero was that he never beat around the bush when he had to do something. He needed to collect me, and that was what he was doing. "I'm fine," I told him, not making a move to come out. "Just putting my head back together, that's all"  
"Hn. Is it... together yet?" Heero asked, surprising a bark of laughter from me.  
"No," I admitted, "but it's about as good as it's going to get," I told him, then eased myself out of the hole. He offered his hand to help me up, but at least he didn't look hurt when I refused it. After what a crappy day it had already been I wasn't sure I could have handled that. "I want to apologize to you incase my request creates any kind of trouble for you," he told me, cold, unfeeling, and monotone. That voice told me that he was drawing away, not ready for the pain of dealing with me. I couldn't blame him. "Please let me assure you that it was never my intent to hurt you. I believed that it would be better if we were not roommates. I"  
"You thought I didn't like you," I interjected, knowing his explanation would simply continue in this clinical description until he thought his point had been made. He was skipping around the real issue, and I was too tired for it.  
"I... yes. I believed that your personality and mine could not occupy the same area"  
"Well, you're wrong," I told him flatly. "You are a great roommate, and I wouldn't want anyone else. I'm the one who screwed things up, not you," I said sadly, then headed for the stairs.  
"Duo, wait," Heero said, causing me to pause. "Master... he said you might have a... problem with"  
"With allowing myself to be touched by others? Yeah, Heero, we all know I'm messed up"  
"No, I mean... he said it wasn't voluntary. That it wasn't your fault that you pulled away, and that you couldn't choose who to pull away from," he said. The hope in his voice almost broke my heart. "That's right. I can't choose who I want to touch me... because no one can touch me. Saying it isn't my fault is going a little far, because who's fault is it then"  
"The masters that made you like this," Heero offered, a hint of anger in his voice.  
"We could trace this ladder all the way up to my mom for giving birth to me, or god for creating me, but it won't do any good. I'm the one who's here right now, and I'm the one who can't get my head on straight enough to accept a little human fucking contact, okay? I'm the real fuck-up here"  
"You're not fucked-up," Heero said, coming to stand behind me. He was so close that if I leaned back a fraction of an inch I would be pressed against his chest. Got, but I wanted to. But I was scared shitless of it too. "You're just a little... twisted," Heero said, and I could hear the damned smile in his voice. "We'll get you... straightened out"  
"People have been pushing and pulling me for years, trying to get me straightened out. What makes you think this time will be any different?" I asked, and Heero leaned close to whisper his answer into my ear.  
"Because this time there are people who actually care about you," he told me softly, touching me with his voice. "And because this time you actually want it"  
And he was right. 


	128. Zechs 127

Sally was right about the therapy session. It flopped completely. Duo chatted easily before the session and gave her a heartfelt farewell afterwards, but wouldn't say two words during the session. Having a breakthrough with Duo could take months, and we just didn't have that kind of time. Sally still didn't like Plan B, but we both acknowledged that it was necessary, so she had no choice but to set me up for it. The plan was to create a period of time in which Duo would have to maintain physical contact with another person. We didn't want to isolate or ostracize Duo, so the period of time would coincide with a movie, to distract the other boys from Duo. I could only hope that by doing this exercise in a normal situation Duo would begin to feel more relaxed in other situations that called for touch. As it was only the direst circumstances could cause Duo to reach out for physical reassurance, and this phobia had to be putting great stress on his psyche. It could very well be the cause of his erratic behavior and violent mood swings. I rented an action move, something loud that would be hard to look away from. It was also one of Duo's favorite kind of movies. I wasn't hesitant to admit that I felt bad about Duo's situation, and even guilty that I hadn't seen it sooner. These feelings did not waver my resolve... but it did get him two quarts of chocolate icecream. Sally and I decided it would be best to inform the boys and Duo of the situation separately, and then she decided it would be best if I did it alone, and left. It took all my self control not to throw a rock at her van as she pulled away, but I knew if she didn't have so much to do at the hospital she would have stayed to back me up. That didn't mean I was any less alone, but it did keep me from being angry.  
Duo took the news that he would be drugged and touched about as well as I thought he would, and I spent the rest of the night nursing a bruised cheek. Even my assurances that if Duo thought he could do it without drugs we could try it that way at any time did not reach him. The fact that I was going to have to inject him with the drug, however, did reach him, and in retrospect I really should have been more prepared for him to deck me. Maybe I deserved it. The others took the news better, meaning that I didn't get a fist to the face.  
"You can't... I mean... Duo hasn't... He"  
"Calm down, Quatre. I'm not punishing Duo," I told him, then muttered "Though after that punch last night I was considering it"  
"What"  
"Uh- Nothing. Just... Duo's not in trouble about this"  
"Then why the drugs?" Wufei asked. The four of them were assembled in the living room, seated comfortably across the various couches. I sat in the plush chair, watching the various emotions play across their faces. None of them were as close to Duo as they were to Quatre, and it was a little bitter for me to realize that if I had suggested this idea for Quatre instead of Duo, everyone would have been outraged. It only mellowed it a bit to realize that the separation was Duo's own fault. After all, there's only so much affection that can be created at arm's length. "I don't want Duo to hurt himself. I have no doubt that Duo would fight us to the point of injury"  
"But if he's fighting us so hard, isn't there probably something to be afraid of?" Trowa wondered, putting a comforting hand on Quatre's shoulder, who was very upset by this.  
"There would be, if you believe he should be afraid of us," I replied steadily. "I understand that other masters have given Duo this fear, and that at the time it was completely reasonable to have it, but things have changed now. I don't intend to harm or... share Duo. This fear is only going to hurt Duo if we allow it to continue"  
"But... won't he come out of it on his own?" Quatre asked hesitantly.  
"He... might. There's a possibility that with time and therapy his mind could fix itself, but... I just don't have that kind of time, Quatre. Duo will be coming to Collar with us, and I can't have him throwing a fit every time someone brushes up against him"  
"But do you plan to force him to have sex at some point?" Wufei asked, always to the point. I had to hesitate before giving this answer, for in all these preparations I had never once thought of that.  
"I... yes," I admitted, trying to hide my own shame at that admittance. To be honest, Duo was beautiful, but as of yet he had not done anything I had thought of as alluring. The other masters might be aroused by screaming, growling, hissing young men, but I was not. "At some point, before the Collar competition begins, I will have Duo. I am capable, however, of being patient. There are three months left before Collar. We have time to help him overcome this problem, and if overcoming this problem will not only help his mental health, but may also allow him to accept my... advances later on," I told them, then waited for a reaction. It was Wufei who made the reply.  
"It would be... unrealistic of us to believe that you would not want to have Duo. We are here for that purpose and that purpose alone. If you had said anything else we would not have believed you. I..." Wufei hesitated, blushing mildly. I knew it was hard for Wufei to speak about personal or intimate matters. "I believe Duo would be better off accepting your advances than the advances of any other master. Even if you can only give him a few months to overcome this fear, you are still doing much for him by allowing that time to heal. I will help in whatever way you believe necessary"  
"Thank you, Wufei. I will not betray your trust"  
"What exactly are we expected to do while he is drugged?" Heero asked. It was normal for Heero to want to get all the information before involving himself, so I wasn't surprised that he had more questions.  
"You are all supposed to watch the movie and pretend that nothing is different. This exercise is to get Duo accustomed to friendly touches, so only touch him as much as you would each other. Also, I doubt Duo will be in full control of his mouth, so please don't be upset by anything he says. He's going to be very upset, but he is fond of all of you. Heero, I think I'm going to have Duo lean up against you while we watch some of the movie then bring him over beside me later on, because the exercise will be almost useless if he gets to curl up in the corner of the couch. Otherwise you don't really have to do anything"  
"How long will the drugs last"  
"Under two hours. Plenty of time to watch a movie"  
"Are there any side-effects"  
"Drowsiness and drymouth. Possible dizzness if he tries to walk, but I'm setting this up so that he can watch the movie and go right to bed. Just make sure he has a glass of water beside the bed and you should be fine. I will want you to keep an eye on him at night, just to be sure he doesn't get nauseous"  
"Accepted," Heero replied, his features drawn and serious. I knew it was only because of his worry for Duo that he was acting so... mechanical.  
"Quatre? Trowa? Do you two have any questions for me?" I asked, but the two merely shook their heads. "Well, if no one else has any questions, we'll try the first session tomorrow," I said. It was a dismissal, and everyone knew it. It was late, and I was tired. I wanted nothing more than to go to bed and forget about what was going to happen tomorrow. Wufei, thankfully, could see how dead I was, and shooed the boys before pulling me up the stairs. I almost fell into bed, and if Wufei hadn't been there I probably would have slept on top of the covers, fully dressed. "You're really worried about Duo, aren't you?" Wufei asked, putting me to bed. I could barely move my body, exhausted from the day's trials.  
"Why would you think anything else?" I wondered in return.  
"Well... you two seem to hate each other, that's all. It surprises me that you're so concerned for him when you can only tolerate him on the best days"  
"I do admit that Duo and I don't get along, but... he's a good boy at heart. You don't blame a dog for becoming vicious after being abused, but you do try to teach it not to bite"  
"Which can almost be taken literally in Duo's case," Wufei mused as he climbed into bed.  
"He does have some bite to go along with the bark," I replied softly, settling him into my arms. He curled against me like a puddle of warmth. I couldn't have kept my eyes open if I had tried. 


	129. Zechs 128

At half past seven the next day, I sent Heero outside to check the horses. Of course, there was no real reason for him to check the horses, but I knew better than to allow him inside when we tried to drug Duo. Knowing how close they had gotten, it would just be too much for him.  
Everything had been arranged for what I was beginning to call "touch time." Sally had sent the drugs over early this morning, and I had found to my pleasant surprise that the injections were more like darts than syringes. The entire shot was about the size of my thumb, housing a sharp but small needle and only a few drops of potent medicine. As it only affected the muscles, it could easily be injected in somewhere other than the arms, which would be hard to hold still on a thrashing teen. Sally suggested an injection target of the lower back, which would be easier to hit and quicker to spread the medicine than an arm.  
Along with the shots, other preparations had been made for tonight. A few late-night practices had been moved to an earlier time, opening a two hour slot between eight and ten. Popcorn had been ordered and made, along with a special brand of hot-chocolate Duo enjoyed. Everything possible was being done to create an enjoyable evening, but the boys still anticipated it with a sense of dread, and Duo was downright terrified as the night approached. He made several unsuccessful attempts to hide during the day, and eventually settled on moping in the kitchen with Quatre. "Hey, Heero, where ya goin'?" Duo asked as Heero went for the door. "Master wanted me to check the horses," he replied, pausing in his steps.  
"Oh... uh... I'll go with you!" Duo said suddenly, jumping up with a nervous tension.  
"Sit down, Duo," I instructed. Duo halted, but refused to sit, only glaring at me. I was picking my battles tonight, though, and turned to Heero instead. "You can go," I said, giving him a dismissive wave. He hesitated a moment more, his guilty eyes locking with Duo's fearful ones, then lowered his head and walked out the door. Duo made a whimpering sound, then tried to cover it with a cough. At that time, Trowa and Wufei walked in. I was glad, because I needed to go to the medical room and get the shots, but I didn't want to risk Duo making a run for it. "You stay here," I said to Duo, but aiming it more at the others. I knew Wufei had gotten the message as he sat down beside Duo at the counter. Trowa, on the other hand, followed me as I walked into the hall. He waited until we were out of hearing distance before he spoke to me.  
"Why did you send Heero outside?" he asked. "Don't you think Duo will want him here for support"  
"Duo will want him here to protect him," I responded, pausing to meet Trowa's eyes. "If it were Quatre in Duo's place and you in Heero's, would you be able to stay and watch?" I asked, knowing how violently Duo was about to fight us. Trowa could only lower his eyes and shake his head. "I thought not," I said quietly, then resumed the walk. The trip to get the shots and the return seemed to take no time at all. In the blink of an eye, it seemed, we were back in the kitchen doorway. The mood had gone from foreboding to tense and terrified. Duo was hunched over the kitchen counter, his head buried in his hands, his shoulders tense enough for the muscles to stand out. Beside him, Wufei was half-way out of his seat, ready for Duo to bolt for the door. I hesitated in the doorway; this was one part of the night I had not planned intricately, and now I was at a loss for what to do. Duo was the first to take action, as he spotted me and finally gave in to his instinct to run. He had only taken two steps when Wufei grabbed his arm, spinning him around and pinning him against the counter. Trowa moved in a moment later to grab Duo's other arm, helping Wufei hold him as he thrashed and cursed. I heard Quatre take a sobbing breath on the other side of the room and quickly leave the kitchen, but I was too busy setting up the needle to worry about him. Duo, still pinned between the two larger teens, cast a glance at me over his shoulder and saw the needle, his violet eyes filling with fear. He screamed and began thrashing again, casting Trowa and Wufei back and forth like a storm, but they never let go. The strain of those motions was too much for him, and he quickly tired to a level that Trowa and Wufei could control. His cursing continued and his breaths were coming in sharp, wet gasps, but at least he was still. I finished the needle and approached them, causing Duo to once again jerk frantically, but this time Trowa and Wufei were ready. "Pull up his shirt," I instructed, and Trowa quickly released Duo with one hand to pull up his shirt, revealing the milky-white flesh underneath, while Wufei carefully lifted one hand to move Duo's braid aside. It seemed sad, somehow, to mar this creamy expanse of perfect skin, but I knew that tarnishing his skin would help to save the boy beneath, so I did not waver. I placed a hand on his hip where his low jeans gave way to silky skin to steady his thrashing body and positioned the needle. Duo screamed again, sobbing hysterically now and thrashing like a man on fire, but Trowa and Wufei held him firm. As quickly as I could I inserted the needle, injected him, removed it, and cast it aside. From the way he screamed I doubted he could even tell when it was over, and probably barely felt it go in, but the results were the same. Trowa and Wufei held Duo even after I had backed away, though he barely struggled. After a moment he sagged against their arms and Wufei moved in to hold him, but with the last of his strength Duo pushed the both of them away. He was sobbing brokenly now, and it seemed that the two were moved back more by the power of his despair than by his physical assault. In another minute he was too weak to hold his head up, leaning heavily on the counter as he sobbed violently into his arms. A minute more and he could not even stand, slipping slowly to the floor, sobbing all the way. I motioned for Trowa to move in after that and carry Duo to the couch, then gave Wufei instructions to fetch Heero. Wufei nodded and set out as Trowa bent and lifted Duo into his arms, acting for all the world like Duo was made of crumbling China. Duo didn't even acknowledge Trowa, sobbing brokenly and using Trowa's shirt to hide his face. Quatre scurried out from wherever he had been hiding and fluttered around Duo. I noticed that Quatre was looking pale and wondered if he had forgotten to take his pills today, or if Duo's outburst had affected him that much. I sighed wearily as Trowa rounded the corner out of my sight, then picked up the syringe, discarded the needle, and placed it into the case with the others. The syringe could be cleaned and reused, though the needles could not. I turned heavily, feeling tired as I moved to return the case to medical room. I wondered if it would be like this every night, and if Duo or myself would crack first. I wasn't sure how much more of this I could take. 


	130. Heero 129

When Wufei came out to get me, I had stopped bothering with the excuse of checking the horses and was curled up with my knees to my chest beside the nest of kittens.  
"How is he?" I asked instantly. I don't know what I was hoping for him to say, because we both knew Duo would fight the drugs as violently as possible.  
"Upset, but not hurt. Though I have to say that Zechs was right about him; he fought us as hard as he was able. If Trowa hadn't been there I probably wouldn't have been able to keep him from hurting himself," Wufei said, and I felt a sharp pang of guilt. It should have been me there, holding him, calming him, but I was too afraid. Instead I had left him to face it alone.  
"There was nothing you could have done," Wufei said suddenly, giving me the look he usually gave Duo when he was being purposefully ignorant. "Having you there wouldn't have changed anything, and it might have made him more upset. Do you really think Trowa or I would have hurt him? Would Master? You did not abandon him, not so long as you help him through the hard part"  
"The hard part?" I wondered. Wufei nodded. "Getting the drugs into him was the easy part, because it only takes a few seconds. The hard part will be to stay with him while the drugs are in his system, while he's open and vulnerable. He didn't need you then, Heero, but he needs you now," he told me. I rose instantly, my former depression leaving me.  
"Then I should go to him," I responded as I walked toward the door. "You should," Wufei acknowledged, following me. I managed to make it out of the barn before I broke into a run, desperate to see Duo, to make sure he was alright. I found Duo alone, in the livingroom, weeping into a couch cushion. The others were close by, keeping watch, but giving Duo some space. I couldn't manage to, though, and I wasn't sure if space was what he really needed. It was what had gotten us into this mess, after all, so it seemed senseless to give him more now.  
So I sat down beside him instead, placing my hand on his back. He tensed, and I don't doubt that he would have pulled away had he been able, but instead he simply intensified his crying.  
"Shh," I whispered, pulling him closer. It tore at me to hear him weeping, to see him crying like this when he had held the tears in for so long. To be brought so low by a simply touch... he needed to rid himself of this, or it would consume him. "It's just me," I assured him, pulling him into my arms and basking in the feeling of having him, awake, in my arms. I had often wondered in the past if perhaps I dreamed his sleeping form into my arms, for like an incubus he never stayed past dawn. My frightened demon. "H-Heero?" Duo asked brokenly, his voice we with tears. "I've got you," I whispered gently. It was enough to break the little control Duo had gathered to speak to me, and he attempted to turn toward me, but the drugs prevented him from moving more than his head and shoulders. I had to turn him to face me, and by the time I did he was sobbing harshly again.  
"Don't leave me!" he begged between sobs, "Please, I don't...! I can't...! I-I"  
"Stop," I commanded soothingly, "You're going to hurt yourself," I warned, seeing that he was about to hyperventilate. "Just calm down. I won't leave you, not for an instant," I assured. He gazed up at me, searching my eyes for more assurances, and must have found what he was looking for. He nodded after a moment and lowered his head to my chest, weeping uncontrollably. Wufei was right, it was difficult to sit there with Duo, allowing him to cry into my shirt. It was far harder than I had thought it would be, but I wouldn't have left for anything. Duo needed me, and for once he was letting me close enough to help.  
I sat with him for fifteen minutes or so while the others came in and out, bringing in popcorn, getting drinks, setting up the movie, and just generally covering up the fact that they were checking on Duo. Quatre came in to ask what we wanted to drink, because I certainly wasn't going to move to get them. Duo asked for a soda, which was something that he liked to sneak even though Master didn't let him have too much, and I was sure that Quatre would get it for him, but Master intervened, saying the caffeine wouldn't mix well with the drugs. Duo and I both got a tropical drink that Quatre mixed which Duo liked almost as well, and Master treated Duo to a box of chocolate bonbons that almost made him stop crying. The start of the movie, however, created another fit of weeping when Duo realized that everyone would be sitting near us on the couch. "Why can't they s-sit so-somewhere else?" Duo sobbed, unable to do more than curl toward me. "Because that would defeat the purpose of this whole night," Master responded, sitting down beside Duo on the couch. Duo glared angrily and managed to push at Zechs' arm weakly, but nothing more. Zechs merely rolled his eyes and reached for the popcorn, brushing against Duo's shoulder as he leaned past. Duo jerked like he had been stung, then began to weep again.  
"You did that on purpose!" he accused angrily. "Of course I did," Master responded, popping a handful of popcorn into his mouth and passing the bowl on down to Wufei, and then on to Quatre and Trowa. Master had, at least, allowed Duo and I to take the corner, and not the middle of the couch. I wasn't sure Duo would be able to stand worrying about touch from both sides. "Be quiet now, the movie's about to start"  
"Oh fuck you!" Duo snapped, glaring daggers at Master. The room went quiet, all eyes turning to Master and Duo.  
Master, for his part, didn't get nearly upset as he usually did. He merely turned to Duo, took his chin in his hand, and turned Duo's face to look at him. "Don't curse," Master commanded with a dangerous quiet. Duo's eyes pooled with tears, and Master held his face a moment longer before releasing him. I helped Duo turn in my arms and he buried his face in my chest, weeping softly. I don't think anyone really watched much of the movie. Between Duo's soft sobs and panicked gasps whenever anyone touched him, most of the attention was on him and not the movie. Duo certainly didn't see any of the movie, for his face was always buried in my shirt if he wasn't accepting a bonbon or drink from me. Still, I was glad there was something to stare out other than Duo, because that would have only made things more awkward and humiliating for him. It was bad enough that the others had to see him cry, but at least they could pretend they didn't hear him and save a little of his pride. Everything was going... as well as can be expected until about half way through the movie. Duo was almost asleep when Master turned and reached for him. "Master... what...?" I wondered softly over Duo's head. "He can't just hide in your arms all night," Master replied. "Hand him here"  
"No!" Duo yelled, coming awake instantly. "I want- I want to stay here"  
"What you want isn't really important here," Master countered. "Don't make a scene," he said, but we both knew Duo would. He tried to grab my shirt as Master lifted him off my lap, but he was too weak to hold on. I was helpless to do anything as Master pulled him away from me and set him between Trowa and Wufei. It was more than I could take, and despite Master's commands I began to reach for Duo, but Master intercepted me, pulling me into his embrace. "He'll be fine," Master whispered reassuringly in my ear as he restrained me almost as I had been restraining Duo only a moment ago. Master's hold calmed me, but I could not be distracted from the sound of Duo's weeping sobs. Over Master's shoulder, I saw Trowa cradle Duo's head to his shoulder while Wufei stroked his back. Quatre, more affected by the emotions of others, gently stroked the stray hairs from the side of Duo's face, trying desperately to withhold his own tears. "Do you want a drink?" Trowa asked him softly. Duo sniffled, then nodded. Trowa nodded to Wufei, who pulled Duo up and held him in an upright position. Duo's eyes were slammed shut and he was shaking with the strain of not jerking away, but this tears had been reined in. Everyone shifted, Quatre moving to get the drink while Trowa moved to help support Duo's head, since he seemed to be having trouble holding it up. Trowa laid a hand along Duo's face, and even though Duo flinched at first he seemed grateful to Trowa for taking the weight off his neck. Quatre brought the drink up and held the straw to Duo's lips. Duo tried to raise a hand to hold the glass himself, then blushed as his hand dropped back to his side. Tears of humiliation in his eyes, Duo accepted the straw from Quatre and took a long drink. He pulled back when he was finished, hiding his face in Trowa's shoulder. Quatre placed the glass back on the table, then reached out and stroked Duo's arm, only looking slightly hurt when Duo flinched. Far from being discouraged, Quatre took Duo's hand in his own, lacing their fingers and stroking the back of his hand. After a moment of hesitation, Duo squeezed Quatre's hand reassuringly. Duo stayed between Trowa and Wufei for another twenty minutes, until Master noticed his eyes starting to droop and had him placed back in my lap. The shift startled Duo, and he struggled a bit as we moved him, but he quickly calmed again in my arms. By the end of the movie, he was sound asleep.  
"Do you want me to take him?" Master asked as the others began to clean up.  
"No. Could you hold him for me while I get up? I think my legs have fallen asleep," I replied, and let Master pull Duo from my lap. Duo stirred slightly, but quickly settled again in Master's arms.  
"Sally did say the pills would make him drowsy," Master commented as I rose and rubbed the pins and needles out of my legs, "He'll probably sleep all night"  
"I'm sure he could use it," I commented in return, taking him from Master as soon as my legs were steady. "Make sure you take him a glass of water," Master reminded. I merely nodded. Feeling that Master had something more he wanted to say, I hesitated for a moment, but when no words were forthcoming I began to walk upstairs. I stopped in the doorway, turning back to Master, who was staring unseeingly at the couch where we had just sat. "Duo needs this," I told him solemnly, not knowing where the words were coming from but feeling that they were right. "He can't go one like this, and we all know it. Even if... Even if Duo doesn't like it now, he... he needs it. I've seen the way he acts, the strain on his mind, and the nightmares at night. He can't continue like this, pushing people away, rejecting any kind of support. He needs"  
"He needs us," Master said with a small smile, placing a hand on the side of my face. "I get it. Thank you," he said, gently kissing my forehead, "but you need to take care of Duo. I... I appreciate the support, though," he said, smiling gratefully at me.  
"I know how hard it is for you to hurt us, even if you're trying to help," I told him. "I just wanted you to know that we do appreciate it, even if we don't always show it"  
"And by "we" you mean "Duo," correct?" Master said, smiling ruefully. "Ah well. Go on, now. Get him to bed," Master said, giving me a playful push toward the stairs. "It's passed your bedtime anyway"  
I shot Master a playful glare, but headed for the stairs anyway. After almost two hours of emotional upheavals, I was ready to sleep. With Duo in my arms, I climbed the stairs quickly and shuffled into our room. Duo went easily into his bed, though I didn't expect anything else since he had been lead weight in my arms all the way up the stairs. I managed to get him out of his clothes and into his pajamas, then covered him and went to change into my own. I took the time to fetch Duo a glass of water from our bathroom and set it on his bedside table, knowing that Master would be upset if I forgot. Once that was done, I hesitated, staring at my lonely bed. I glanced at Duo only to find that a frown was forming on his face. That was all the temptation it took for me to snap off the lights and crawl into his bed. He curled into my arms, as though approving my decision. I smiled as he slept in my arms, snoring lightly. In a few moments, I joined him. 


	131. Zechs 130

Duo's treatments continued for the next two nights, then I planned to call a halt to them for the weekend. During the day Duo was still aggressive, prone to fits of anger and extreme agitation. His personal space bubble enlarged to almost twice its original size, and he became very unhappy if anyone invaded that bubble. Heero could get away with it, sometimes, as long he didn't try to touch him. If someone did manage to touch Duo only Heero could talk him back down, and I guessed it was probably something left over from that first night. I couldn't enter the same room without getting a searing glare from him, though Sally did receive the same treatment the one time she stopped by and tried to talk to him. Sally suggested I give him a little more time, but my patience for Duo's behavior was running thin.  
The treatments themselves improved, marginally. He wasn't as panicked during them as he had the first night, but he still fought us just a hard before them. They were still bad enough that I had to send Heero out of the house, but not bad enough to send Quatre crying from the room. That, or Quatre had just gotten used to Duo's temper tantrums.  
But Duo was not my only worry, I realized soon. Not even a week after our discussion about his health and Quatre was once again starving himself, though much more mildly this time. To be honest, I had noticed his taking smaller portions even before Duo had started his touch-therapy, but I had hoped it was something that would pass. After our previous talk, I didn't want to think that Quatre hadn't listened and that drastic measures may need taken. With things going so wrong with Duo, I wasn't sure I could handle Quatre's problems again.  
By Friday, though, I knew there was no way around it. Quatre was losing weight again, and though it was at a much slower pace this time it still wasn't good for his body to be denied nutrients at this stage in his recovery and development. Even a diet could do serious harm if it kept Quatre's body from getting the nutrients he needed. Quatre was simply too skinny to lose any more weight. It was risky with the low body fat and muscle content of his body to try to take any more out, and he could easily damage his organs. Besides, I didn't like twig-boys anyway. I'd be more attracted to him if he put on a few more pounds, not less. It was Friday afternoon by the time I got up the guts to talk to Quatre again. I had to take a little time before hand to prepare myself, to remind myself that Quatre wasn't deliberately disobeying me and getting mad wouldn't things. It was easy for me to forget these things, to blame Quatre for putting himself through this when I specifically told him it wasn't what I wanted, but my heart knew that Quatre was only trying to please me, and that made it easier. I called for Quatre at three o'clock, a free period that he usually spent watching Trowa practice his interpretive dance routine. "You wanted to see me, Master?" he wondered as he entered my office. His face was beginning to look a bit gaunt, but he hadn't lost his color like before. He might not be starving himself like before, but these eating habits would have to stop. "Yes, I did. Please have a seat," I told him motioning to the chair across from me. Quatre sat nervously, constantly casting glances at his hands. "Do you know why I've called you here"  
"No, Master," he responded, guiltily avoiding my eyes. "I think you do," I replied, standing and walking to the window. "You've stopped eating again, haven't you"  
"I... ah... not exactly. I've just been eating less," he replied, rubbing his hands together in a nervous gesture. I had to hope he didn't faint before I could wheedle the reason for all this out of him. "When you need to be eating more. Tell me, why would you go on a diet when I specifically told you not to"  
"But you didn't!" Quatre insisted, his voice almost panicked. "You said I couldn't stop eating because it will hurt my concentration in practice, but I diet won't hurt my concentration at all!" he reasoned. "If I go slow with the diet, I'll be fine"  
"You know that's not the only reason I told you not to diet, little one. And I specifically said not to stop eating, while I only gave vague reasons why you shouldn't. So why would you take the risk of dieting when it could very easily be considered the opposite of what I wanted? You've never been disobedient before, Quatre," I said, baiting him.  
"I'm not!" he cried out, just as I had hoped. "I just... I just"  
"Just what?" I asked him, moving close to his chair. He was very upset now, and I knew that I had the best chance of getting the truth out of him if he was upset. So I went for the kill. "I know you must have a very good reason for doing this, and I'll be very upset if you don't. Would you care to explain it to me, Quatre"  
"You don't want me!" he sobbed, his control splintering under my interrogation. "You don't desire me at all! I thought... I though if I..." he tried, but dissolved into tears before he could finish. I pulled a chair over and rubber his back, calming him until he was able to speak again. "What would make you think I don't desire you?" I asked him. In truth, Quatre was a little too innocent for me, but I could see myself teaching him the art of love-making without any trouble. The biggest problem was that Quatre had yet to show that he would even be open to any kind of advance from myself, and I was having trouble coming on to him without any kind of invitation. I didn't want to force him or scare him into submission. I hoped that he would come to me of his own will, but that was starting to look like a hopeless dream.  
"Y-you've taken all the other boys except me and Duo, and you t-talked about taking Duo after he was better, s-s-so it was just me that you never t-tried to t-take. I just... I wanted to have what they had with you. You always seemed so much closer to them, especially afterwards, that I felt like I was missing something. I thought"  
"I know what you thought, little one, but it's not true," I told him easily, smiling reassuringly as I wiped away his tears. "I can prove right now that I desire you, Quatre, if you would like," I said, my tone implying a question. It was not hard to imagine myself taking the beautiful blue-eyed boy beside me, and I almost grew hard with anticipation, but I didn't want to pressure him, so I controlled myself.  
"But I don't want to!" Quatre sobbed, burying his head back into my chest. I had to blink a few times to allow the words to settle.  
"You want me to desire me, and you're jealous that I've had the other boys, but you don't want me to take you?" I wondered. "Quatre, that's..." I began, confused and annoyed. I hadn't thought of Quatre as jealous or prudish, but his actions said otherwise.  
"No!" Quatre gasped, moving away from me to look into my eyes. "I want... I want what the others have! I want you... I want you to be with me," he said, then his face began to crumple, "But I don't want to do that!" he cried, and returned to his steady sobbing. I took a deep breath and patted his head where it had fallen against my shoulder, trying to understand exactly what was going through his head.  
"So, let me get this straight. You want to be with me like the others have?" I asked. Quatre merely nodded against my shoulder. "And because you so desperately wanted to be with me, you starved yourself so that I'd like you better. And even when I said I didn't want you to stop eating you still couldn't stop because you thought I wasn't aroused by you?" Again, Quatre merely nodded. "And you think the only way for you to stop feeling like your inadequate is for me to take you, just like I took the other boys?" Another nod. "But you don't want to have sex with me?" This time a whimper and a nod, followed by several quick sobs. "Quatre, that's ridiculous"  
"I know!" he gasped, crying hard again. "I just... I want to give you something back, for all the trouble you've put into me. I want... I want to give you a part of myself, like the others have. And I want for you to want the part of me that I'm offering"  
"But you're not offering," I told him, trying to convey to him my confusion.  
"No!" he told me firmly, pulling away from me and shaking his head. "If you asked me, I swear, I would lay down for you right now! I promise I would be as good as any"  
"That's not what I mean!" I snapped, holding him still as he began to reach for me. "You do not want sex from me. Why?" I demanded. Quatre, hesitated, then looked away, tears in his eyes and in his voice once again.  
"Because it hurts! And because it's dirty, and disgusting, and wet, and so very cold!" he whispered, quiet tears leaking down his face. Any annoyance I have was instantly gone. I could almost cry for him.  
"Oh, sweet-heart, is that all you've known?" I asked him, and he turned to stare at me in confusion. "Was there never a time that you felt lust, before you were robbed of your innocence? Or were you too young?" I wondered. To not understand that love-making could involve pleasure for both participants... I'm sure the thought frightened me almost as much as it did him.  
"I... I don't understand," Quatre responded. I smiled at him softly, wiping away his tears with my shirt sleeve. "You will, little one. You'll understand soon enough." 


	132. Quatre 131

I thought Master would be upset when I told him that I was afraid to have sex with him. I thought he'd try to convince me that it wouldn't be bad with him. I thought he'd scold me for being cowardly. I thought he'd take me right there. I never thought he'd send me away, like nothing had happened. It hurt. It hurt a lot. I had opened my heart and told him my fears, only to be pushed away in the next moment. I knew Master had a lot to do, and I knew Duo needed his attention more than I did, but... still... I thought Master would notice me. Maybe it was selfish of me, and I had certainly told myself often enough how selfish it would be to starve myself only for a little attention, but in reality I was helpless to end these emotions and almost powerless to stop their results. I knew, now, that Master didn't want me to diet, and despite the excuses I made I knew I was doing the wrong thing. And yet the more I looked at myself, the more I watched the others around Master, the worse I felt about myself. And the worse I felt, the less I ate. I have no doubt that if Master hadn't interceded I would have been back to starving myself in a few weeks. I just.. I was so jealous and dejected that I just couldn't help myself. I wanted Master to look at me, and some part of me knew that dieting would make him see me, even if he was upset by what he saw.  
But it was all for nothing, in the end. Master had more important things to do, and even though I had told myself this before it still stung. I hadn't known I was that unimportant to him, but I should have. I mean, really, what good was I? A sex-slave afraid to sleep with their master? It was laughable. I was a joke. I had my cooking class next, and I was so depressed that I burnt three different dishes, put half a cup of salt into my cake, and sprinkled pepper all over my cinnamon crescents. By four o'clock I had completely ruined dinner, and with only an hour left I had no idea what I was going to cook. I abhorred the thought of telling Master that I hadn't been able to complete the one task he set for me, but if I couldn't find something to cook soon that's exactly what I would have to do.  
I ended up on my hands and knees in the cupboard, desperately searching for something I could make into a meal with the few ingredients I had available. I had been down there for nearly ten minutes, and nothing was forthcoming. I was very close to tears. "Quatre? Is something wrong?" I heard Trowa ask. I had completely forgotten that he was coming down to help with the dishes, and hit my head on the cupboard door in surprise. "Are you alright?" Trowa asked, coming to kneel beside me. "Ah... I'm fine," I said, wincing as I touched the bump on my head. "Just... do you smell smoke?" I wondered, sniffing the air before jumping to my feet. I had been making a bourbon sauce on the stove to go over the fish I had burned in the oven, and when I had tossed out the fish I had completely forgotten the sauce. If heated for too long at too high of a temperature a bourbon sauce could easily catch fire, and my sauce was merrily bubbling and burning away, throwing little flames all over the stove which sizzled before going out. I panicked, grabbing an oven mit and pulling the pan off the stove, but my fingers brushed the side of the hot pan. Startled by the searing pain in my finger I jumped and tossed the pan into the sink, where it splattered all over the cold steel and continued to burn away. Trowa came up behind me, level headed as always, and dumped a cup of flower over the pan, putting out the flames while I nursed my injured fingers. "Are you alright?" Trowa asked calmly, coming to stand in front of me. Gently, he pulled my injured fingers out of my mouth to look at them. They were only mildly red, I saw with shame, and I had certainly overreacted. I thought Trowa might be angry at me, but all he said was, "I think they should be alright," and brought my fingers to his lips to softly kiss the pain away. It broke me, and I suddenly found myself sniffling as tears cascaded down my face. "What's wrong?" Trowa asked, his eyes wide with concern. I could only shake my head, because speaking was far beyond me, and lean toward him. He captured me with his arms and held me securely as I cried myself out into his chest. "Care to tell me about it now?" he asked a few minutes later, when my tears had almost stopped.  
"I-it's just been an awful day," I sighed, resting my cheek against him. "Master and I had a meeting and it... didn't go so well. I think he might be mad at me. And then the fish... and the cinnamon crescents... and the cake. I just ruined everything!" I cried, sobbing again. "I can't fail at this too, Trowa! I just can't"  
"Shh," he soothed, running a hand through my hair. "Everything will turn out alright. I'll help, okay? Just stop crying"  
"But what can you do?" I asked, looking up at his eyes. "I've ruined everything we have to eat. I ruin everything"  
"No, you don't," Trowa countered, looking me in the eyes. "Now you can either keep crying, or we can fix dinner. Dry your eyes and grab that bag of noodles from the cupboard, and I'll show you how to make pasta Alfredo," Trowa said, giving me an encouraging nudge as I dried my eyes on my sleeve. The pasta was a simple dish, but I never would have been able to come up with it on my own. I was able to brighten the sauce with some fresh herbs I'd been using and I garnished every plate with a piece of parcely, but Trowa did most of the real work. I was lucky I was able to boil the water, after the day I'd been having. Dessert was a simple honey-sauce put over cinnamon icecream, but Trowa promised it would be delicious, and I believed him.  
Dinner was right on time, set up as though I'd had the full two hours to prepare. If Master noticed that the food was of a lower quality than usual he didn't mention it, probably because he was too busy watching my plate to make sure I ate. I tried to eat a lot to make him happy, knowing that he hadn't been very happy at all with me lately, but the feel of his eyes on me made me so nervous that I felt nauseous, and I couldn't eat dessert. I'm sure that Master thought I did it just to disobey him, and knowing that just made me feel worse. I usually did the dishes and the laundry after dinner, but Trowa had helped me make dinner where he usually did the cooking dishes, so I had more dishes than usual and had to hurry to get the laundry done. As I rushed to get the laundry down to the basement I noticed Master talking quietly to Trowa in the doorway to his office, but I was in too much of a rush to listen in. I hoped Master hadn't found out about Trowa helping, but I was pretty sure that he would have scolded me instead of Trowa anyway. At least, I hoped so. I was still in the middle of doing laundry when I heard Duo fighting his shot and realized that I was late for the movie. I was tempted to run up the stairs, but there was still a full basket of laundry in the drier and a basket waiting to be folded, so I had to wait another twenty minutes before I was finished, though I did leave the baskets in the basement instead of taking them upstairs. I hurried to the den fully expecting to be scolded by Master, only to find that he hadn't arrived yet either. The movie was on, all the other boys were here, and Duo was sniffling beside Heero, so where was Master?  
"He said he had something very important to do in his office," Trowa said, replying to my silent question. "He told us to start the movie, and that he'd be back as soon as he could"  
"Oh," I replied, still a bit confused. Master was never late for the movie, and he was vehement that we be on time as well, but I was grateful for this one slip. At least Master hadn't caught me being late, and I quickly sat down beside Trowa, lest he find me in the doorway and figure it out. Master, it turned out, was half an hour late, joining us only ten minutes after I came up. Of course, he insisted as soon as he came in that Duo be moved to the middle, but Duo had gotten a little used to this now and only growled and pouted as Master pulled him away from Heero. The rest of the night went normally, although it seemed to me that Master was somewhat distracted from both the movie and Duo. Still, I didn't want to make him madder at me by asking him impertinent questions, so I was silent. I was actually starting a to feel a little better as I headed up the stairs for bed. I was feeling good enough, in fact, to play with the idea of talking to Master again, to apologize for my behavior earlier and explain my actions at dinner. It didn't seem like a totally bad idea, so I went to Master's room and found him speaking with Wufei outside the door. I paused, perfectly happy to wait for him to finish. Instead, Master merely glanced at me, then waved his hand at me in a shooing gesture. My face fell, and I turned to shuffle back to my own room. I wasn't even worth talking to.  
Back in our room, Trowa was waiting for me with a bottle of my scar cream. Usually he would wait to put it on until I was ready for sleep, but tonight he was insistent, and I just didn't have the energy to fight him. He was already on the bed waiting for me, dressed only in his sleeping pants and still slightly damp from a quick shower, so I simply pulled off my shirt and sat heavily in front of him. He pulled me into position and began to rub my back, and the feel of his hands on me, the knowledge that he cared about me, was almost too much for me. I probably would have cried if I hadn't done so much of it already. Instead, I waited until Trowa finished and leaned back, putting my bare back against his bare chest. After a moment his arms came up to hold me, and I clasped his hands with my own. "You'll worry yourself sick if you keep this up," he warned me kindly. "There's no need for you to be so upset," he assured me. "Everything will work out in the end"  
"Easy for you to say," I huffed moodily. "You're not the one Master's mad at"  
"Who said I was mad at you?" Master said, startling us both by coming in unannounced. "I-I just thought"  
"I know what you thought," Master replied, smiling at me. "And I'm going to prove you wrong. So what are you waiting for? Let's go"  
"Go? Go where"  
"Ah. That's a secret." 


	133. Zechs 132

Quatre was quite thoroughly frightened out of his wits. Of course, a few simple words from me could easily have banished all his fears, but I abstained from comment. If Quatre was still too frightened of me, too hesitant about our relationship to come with me, then it was too early for this anyway. If Quatre lacked the trust to follow me into the unknown, then surely he would lack the trust to follow me further. I could merely wait and watch to see if he was ready, or if he would bolt. He followed me down the stairs in a daze, not bothering to protest because he was too shocked by this sudden change in arrangements. Trowa had packed his suitcase for me; I had spoken with Trowa first, because I knew he would worry badly about Quatre, and there was no need for that. Wufei and Heero, as well, had been included in the details of my plan, and Duo was too soundly asleep to notice. I was sure the others would explain it to him the next morning, and I had already warned Heero not to let him upset Trowa with his distrustful ideas. It would be hard enough for Trowa to let Quatre go without Duo to add to his fears.

Once in the car, Quatre became a bit more animated, peering out the windows frightfully and whimpering every so often. At one point he turned to me, moving closer until he was almost in my lap, and staring up into my eyes. "Are you selling me?" he'd wondered breathlessly. "You shouldn't have to ask that," I replied evenly, neither committing to a positive or negative response Quatre merely nodded, his eyes filled with despair, and laid his head on my lap. I gently caressed his hair, but allowed myself no more than that. In nothing but his baby blue pajamas, his blonde hair mussed and ready for sleep, he looked like a child who had awakened from a nightmare. It was all I could do not to pull him into my arms and banish his bad dreams. We drove for another hour or so, passing only forests and dense brush. Eventually we left the paved road for an even, well-packed dirt road. Quatre never noticed the change, for he had fallen asleep on my knee only a few minutes after our departure. From trust or despair, I couldn't tell, but I did notice that he curled subconsciously closer to me in his sleep when we hit a bump in road. It was a good sign, but perhaps not good enough. The house we pulled up at was small, shrouded in dense bushes and thick tree branches. The windows were dark, and only a solitary bulb illuminated the porch, casting an eerie glow onto the porch. It was not a dilapidated house, for all strangeness the darkness created, and would actually look quite well groomed in the daylight. I wondered for a moment of the powers of the night to alter our perceptions, then glanced down at Quatre. In the moonlight, he looked like the pale ghost of an innocent, instead of my bright-eyed angel. I shivered and quickly opened the door, hoping to cast that image from my mind. The car light instantly transformed Quatre back into himself, but it could not dispel the feelings of protectiveness his sleeping form created in me. I would do this... for him. The sound of the door opening awoke Quatre, and he blinked sleepily as he sat up. "Where..." he wondered, dazed, before glancing out the window at his surroundings. The house elicited a tiny gasp from him, and he trembled and slid closer to me. "Come," I instructed simply, sliding out of the car and away from him. He followed quickly, afraid of even a few inches between us. It was only when he hoped to the ground, shivering, and that I realized in his haste he had not put on his shoes, and I had not thought to grab them for him. It would be a defeat on my part to pick him up, for I did not want to give him even that much reassurance, but I could not allow him to walk on questionable ground and risk cutting his feet on a sharp rock or piece of glass. That would certainly do more harm to my plans than a simple gesture of kindness.

I lifted Quatre's light frame into my arms, wincing at the feeling of too little flesh covering bones, and carried him into the house. He was frightened at first, of my movements and of the strange place, but he did not fight me or even voice his protest. Once safely inside the house, I set him down, only have him sink to the floor in front of me. "Are you alright?" I couldn't stop myself from asking. He merely nodded, but there were tears in his eyes, and his face was a picture of misery.

"Why are we here?" he whispered softly, his voice filled to the brim with despair. I knew he couldn't take much more, and he had trusted me this far.

"Come sit on the couch," I said, pulling his to his feet and leading him down the hall to the den, where a fire was burning cheerily in the hearth. This was one of my favorite cabin, if only because of its simple, homey feel. The dense forest surrounding it didn't hurt either, for I was very fond of nature. His bare feet tread softly on the thick carpets of the room, and he sat shakily down on the couch, as far toward the arm as he could get. I sank down beside him, sitting close. He had trusted me this far, and it was time I returned his faith.

"I'll suppose you have no idea why you're here," I said, leading him into the conversation. He merely shook his head, curling in to himself. "You probably think I'm going to punish you. Or perhaps you thought you were being sold." At this, Quatre whimpered and buried his head in his arms, not daring to look my way. I smiled softly and moved to his side, pulling him into my arms. "Nothing could be further from the truth," I assured him, whispering softly in his ear as my hands ran soothing circles over his back. He dared to glance up at me. "This was a test of sorts, to see how strong your trust in me is."

"Did I... Did I pass?" Quatre asked softly, leaning his head against my chest.

"Honestly? I don't know," I told him, still wondering about it myself. "You were terrified and had several moments where you believed I would hurt or even sell you. And yet, you followed me all this way, never trying to run or fight me. Was it trust? Or fear?" I wondered, not really expecting Quatre to answer. "It wasn't either, really," he replied, not realizing the question was slightly rhetorical. "It's just... if it were so bad that even you would give up on me... you, who had been so kind and generous to us, even when we weren't doing what you want... if you would give up on me, could I possibly be worth anything? I mean, I know how much you've taken from Duo and how much you've taken from all of us. If I could make you give up on me... maybe I deserved to be given up on."

Ah. So it was partially affection toward me, partially a case of low self-esteem, and a very small part was trust. I didn't like it, but I'd take it... for now. "I brought you here, not because I'm angry at you, but because I was upset at the your idea of what sex is. I want to prove to you that this definition of lovemaking is entirely incorrect"

"I see," Quatre said, his tone implying hesitance.

"In order to show this, I will need to... demonstrate it. Do you understand? We will need intimate"

"Oh," Quatre replied in shock. His body was tense, his hands shaking. I turned him to look at me, giving him space to calm himself.

"Listen to me, Quatre. I am giving you a choice here. I want to teach you that sex doesn't always have to be painful, but it will be if you aren't willing. This has to be your choice, to trust me with both your heart and body. If you can't do it, if you're still too afraid and uncertain, you have to tell me or things will go very badly. I promise you, agreement or denial will have no consequences to you. If you say no, then we will simply spend the night here tonight and return home in the morning. I will, however, expect your self-abusive behavior to cease, because I have at the very least shown that I prize you equally to your peers. On the other hand, if you do agree, you will not have the option of backing out once we begin, so you must think very seriously about both options"

"I-I would like to try," Quatre answered nervously after only a moment. "That's not good enough. You must be certain," I told him seriously. He was quiet for several long minutes, and I gave him time to think. His face was creased in frown his eyes far away, but every so often they would flick to me and soften. After several minutes he seemed to come to some kind of conclusion, and turned to me. "Would you... Would you kiss me?" he asked tentatively. His request seemed a little odd to me, but I would not deny him evidence to help with his decision. I leaned close to him and placed my hand on the back of his head, tilting his face to meet mine. I pressed my lips against his soft, strawberry ones. After a moment, I pulled away. To my surprise, he looked frustrated. "That's not... I mean... I..." he stuttered, fisting his hands in the material of his pants and biting his lips. It wasn't until a blush stole across his face that I realized what was wrong.

More forcefully this time I tilted his face to receive mine, though still maintaining the gentleness I knew Quatre craved. When we parted, we were both breathing deeply, and Quatre had a distinctly heightened color.

"I think I can do this," he said. For the first time, I truly believe he could.


	134. Zechs 133

_Removed for content._


	135. Quatre 134

_Removed for content._


	136. Zechs 135

I woke Quatre the next morning with a breakfast of pancakes and maple syrup. I had contemplated, momentarily, a sweeter treat, for I knew the local diner specialized in waffles coated in strawberries and icecream, topped liberally with whipped cream. It was a delicacy to die for, but it was also packed with sugar. This situation was making Quatre jumpy enough, and I hesitated to see what the extra load of energy would do to him. No, I wouldn't offer him something that sweet for breakfast. Perhaps after dinner, for dessert. Quatre was still asleep when the food arrived, but the smell must have roused him, for he ventured from the bedroom before I was finished serving it.

"Master?" he wondered tentatively, still rubbing his eyes from sleep.

"Come eat," I instructed, pulling out a chair for him at the breakfast nook before seating myself on the opposite side. He padded softly forward, reluctantly dropping into the seat opposite me. He used only one hand to reach for the syrup, the other holding the blankets tightly shut under his chin, letting not an inch of skin show other than his face and right arm. I smiled, slightly amused at his antics after all the skin he had revealed to me last night. I would not let his hesitancy ruin my mood. After all, my bad mood would only cause more fright in him, and I didn't want him any more upset than he needed to be. Better to stay calm and relaxed, lest he think I was mad at him or some other such nonsense. "Do you like pancakes?" I asked him, cutting myself another piece. He merely nodded, already shoveling a piece of the syrup-covered dough into his mouth. He chewed for a moment, then reached for the syrup and doused the pancakes with it once again. Perhaps the waffles would have had less sugar, with how heavily he was using the syrup. "Quatre... Far be it from me to tell you how to prepare food, but it is generally accepted that one should have more pancake on the plate than syrup. Maybe you should go a little easier on it"  
He blushed, setting the maple syrup aside instantly, wearing that hangdog expression he always got when he thought I was criticizing him. "I'm sorry, Master," he mumbled, using his fork to pick at his food. I sighed, then reached across the table, lifted the syrup, and dumped the whole thing on his plate. Quatre jumped, startled as I literally drenched his pancakes in syrup. "I really don't care how much syrup you use," I informed him, setting down the empty syrup container. "It was a suggestion, not a criticism. Now, eat your breakfast," I told him. He hesitated, his eyes still agog. After a moment he tentatively reached forward and picked up his fork, taking a piece of the now soggy pancake to his lips. "You aren't actually going to eat that, are you?" I asked, staring at the pathetic looking piece of pastry.  
"I don't it to go to waste," Quatre replied softly. "It's already been wasted as I proved my point. Get another plate," I instructed, "You can dip your pancakes in the syrup if you want, but don't eat the ones I ruined"  
"Yes, master," Quatre whispered, reaching for another plate. I sighed softly. This morning was not going as well as I had planned. But there was nothing I could think to say that would turn the mood around, so I let silence reign while we ate.  
_Removed for content._


	137. Quatre 136

By the time I awoke, Master had already gotten up to order lunch. He had left the door to the hall open, perhaps in case of nightmares, and I could hear him ordering sandwiches from where I lay on the bed. I contemplated faking sleep to keep from having to get up, but I was too hungry to want to skip lunch. I didn't want to move either, though, because I knew any shift of my body would just make me feel that thing that was shoved into the deepest part of my body. It was a toss-up for which was less appealing, moving or missing lunch.  
Master finally made up my mind for me by calling me to lunch. I should have known he wouldn't allow me to skip a meal, especially now that he was so worried about my diet. _Removed for content._


	138. Zechs 137

Quatre didn't wake for another hour or so. I wasn't worried, mainly because I knew the degree of emotional upheaval he had undergone, and I had seen just how painful this was for him. I didn't doubt that it was emotional exhaustion more than physical that put him under once I managed to relax him.

_Removed for content._

With that in mind, I headed to the basement to set up the equipment while Quatre slept. I made sure to grab the fake, putty-like bait to use instead of the worms or minnows that the cottage kept stocked. Quatre was one of my most feminine boys, and I doubted he'd enjoy shoving a sharp piece of metal into a squirming, dirty worm or a struggling, gasping minnow. I wasn't certain he'd even have the heart to do it, for Quatre had a very soft heart.

Along with the bait I made sure to put some drinks in the cooler and a blanket to sit on. Thinking about it, I decided that Quatre would probably be more comfortable laying on the ground than sitting on the chair, so I left that out. The final touch was the rods, and with all that assembled I went to wake Quatre.

To my surprise, Quatre was already blinking in alertness, his gaze drifting around the room to find me. As I walked into his line of sight he sat up and smiled at me.

"Where did you go?" he wondered.

"Just downstairs. I was thinking that we might go fishing, so I got the rods ready. Do you think you can make it?"

"Uh... can I have my clothes back first?" he asked, motioning to his bare body. I laughed, but pointed him toward the bedroom. He smiled and headed off, walking as normal as I could reasonably expect with a six inch phallus inside of him.

The afternoon was warm and sunny. The pond was only a short walk away, which allowed me to stretch my limbs and work out the muscles that weren't so used to leisure. I carried to cooler and the rods, while Quatre focused on keeping the phallus in place while taking each step. From the look of concentration on his face, I'd say I got the easier job.

We settled down to fish somewhere around five o'clock, though by the time I had tied the hooks baited mire, untangled Quatre's line and baited his, cast my line, retrieved Quatre's from a tree and cast it, it was probably half an hour later.

"This is nice," Quatre commented as we both lay on the bank of the pond. Quatre was laying on his hip, his legs tucked up beside him, with the rod across his lap. I had decided to sprawl out and gaze at the clouds, the rod across my lap.

"Mm-hm."

"Should we... I mean... Do we need to do something to attract the fish?"

"No, just sit back and relax."

"Oh."

There was a short pause, just to the point where I was beginning to relax back into the silence.

"Should it be taking this long?" Quatre wondered.

"Don't rush the fish, Quatre. Just like you wouldn't rush dinner."

"What does that have to do with anything?"

"Well, we are going to eat the fish once we catch them."

"What!" Quatre shrieked, the most horrified look coming to his face. "Master, you can't!"

"Calm down, Quatre," I soothed, pushing myself to my elbows. "I was only kidding," I lied easily. "We're just going to catch them and throw them back," I said, mentally wondering what I could order to substitute the fish dinner I had planned.

"Oh. Don't scare me like that, Master. I really thought you wanted me to eat the poor little fishies," he said, clutching his chest in relief. I merely chuckled, hiding my concern behind a smile. Was vegetarian next on my list of Quatre-related concerns? Not that I had anything against vegetarians, but a no-meat diet wouldn't do a lot to promote muscle gain and healthy growth in a teenage boy, not to mention the fact that I was hoping to kick-start the growth spurts that Quatre had probably already missed. Trying to incorporate those goals into a no-meat diet would be nearly impossible.

"Have you had any fun this weekend?" I asked suddenly, trying to change the topic before Quatre gained any ideas from his own comment. "I mean, outside of the crying and screaming."

"Hm," Quatre deliberated, leaning back beside me. "Despite the circumstances, I've actually been very happy about spending time with you. It's not often that I get... I mean, you're so busy... and the others..."

"You don't have to feel guilty about it," I told him, seeing his eyes go dark and ashamed. "I don't get a lot of personal time with any of you because of how busy I am, but you especially since you haven't had any major problems until now. Once you recovered from your injuries you could pretty much manage your own problems, which is a good thing, but it seems to have had a negative affect on both you and Heero. I suppose your self-sufficiency left both of you open for neglect in one way or another, and I seem to have remedied both problems similarly."

"So... Heero had..."

"No, Heero never stopped eating, but he began to question his place in the household the same as you did."

"I would have never guessed," Quatre confessed, laying down beside me so that our shoulders touched. "I thought I was the only one."

I laughed outright at that, surprising Quatre, then pulled him into my arms.

"If everyone is being completely honest, I don't think there's a single one of you that's completely sure of his place with me. No one seems to be able to accept that I'm going to keep him."

"It just seems too good to be true," Quatre defended, resting his head on my shoulder. "As a slave, if you have something good you're always afraid someone will take it away. It's just our nature."

"It's not your nature, it's your training, and it's preventing all of you from fully enjoying what you have now. Don't ever let the past get in the way of present happiness, kitten, or you'll be doomed to a life of morbid reflection," I advised. Quatre contemplated that advise, lying quietly in my arms, and it suddenly seemed as though I had never felt such tranquility.

Of course, that tranquility ended abruptly when Quatre suddenly got a bite and we both lunged to catch the rod, nearly causing the both of us to tumble into the water. The rest of the afternoon disappeared in a playful blur as Quatre and I continued to catch and release dozens of fish.

It seemed that the time to go back came far too early, but growling bellies declared the time far more accurately than my watch ever could. Once back at the house I ordered a salmon dinner while Quatre showered, then let him set the table as I showered. By the time the food arrived we were both cleaned and refreshed from our trip, in good spirits, and hungry as a pair of wolverines. I was relieved to see that Quatre ate with gusto and contemplated that perhaps too little exercise was a possible reason for his lack of appetite. I decided to ask Trowa to work out with him a few days a week, just to keep his metabolism up.

It seemed too early to retire for the evening after dinner, and I was loathe to put an end to the companionable mood by bringing up the subject of sex again. I had no doubt that tonight I would finish the job I had set out here to complete, but I was hesitant and extremely reluctant to attempt it. So, instead, I suggest a game of chess. Quatre was eager to play, and only after he had handed me my tiny, glass chess-ass twice would I realize that it was because Quatre was a chess genius and not because he was happy to avoid the bedroom. Or perhaps it was both, but, however it happened, Quatre made me look like a novice player, and I was nothing to scoff at when it came to strategy.

"Kitten, you could have given me some warning before you laid siege to my tactical pride, you know," I told him. Quatre merely giggled demurely, blushing at the offhanded compliment. "Really, Quatre, I think we should have you play against Wufei some time. Between the two of you I haven't won a game in weeks; perhaps you two can better rival each other, and leave my poor skills out of it."

"Come now, Master, it's not all that bad," he said, smiling playfully, "I'm sure you have other skills."

"Gee, thanks," I said, playing along. "Do you know what one of those skills is?"

"No, what?"

"Tickling!" I shouted, lunging around the table to tickle his ribs. He jerked at my assault, trying to fend off my fingers, and we both eventually ended up on the floor, panting and out of breath, laughing like mad. I was on top of Quatre, my face nearly touching his. His lips were parted and panting, his cheeks were flushed from the sudden exercise. I moved closer, and our lips touched for the barest instant. I could feel a spark there, a heat that could only come with the trust I had hoped Quatre would gain for me. He would need it, tonight, when we consummated our relationship, whatever it was. He would need it, and I was pretty sure he had it.

"Let's move to the bedroom, Kitten."


	139. Quatre 138

After the wonderful day we had spent together, I didn't want to move into the bedroom, where everything would suddenly become horrible again. But I knew better than to be so ungrateful to my Master, and I was fairly certain that whining would gain me no reprieve, so when Master levered himself off me and moved toward the bedroom, I followed.

_Removed for content._


	140. Duo 139

Sorry guys. It was a lot harder to get back into this than I expected. And Duo's voice is hard to write, so it took me forever to figure out what he would say. I still don't think I got it right, but... oh well. I'm sure you'll all wolf this down like starving coyotes anyway. Bon apatite.

00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

When I got out of bed that morning, Heero wasn't there to hug me.

Uh... Wait a second. Let me back up.

Heero hugs me every god damned morning now. He has been for almost a week. Ever since he found about my little touch-phobia he's made it his mission to touch me whenever possible, but on most occasions he'll pull away if I get mad. The hug first thing in the morning, though, he gives to me whether I like it or not.

Our morning schedule goes something like this; Heero's alarm goes off. One minute later Heero shuts the alarm off and gets up. This varies slightly if Heero is in my bed, since it takes him an extra thirty seconds to climb out of bed and reach the alarm. He wakes me, then goes to the bathroom and brushes his teeth. He wakes me again, then changes, then wakes me, and then goes downstairs to jog for twenty minutes. He then comes back upstairs, wakes me again, and goes to take his shower. When he's done with his shower I'm either up or he tips my mattress and tosses me on the floor. One way or another, at the fifth time, I'm up. I always shower at night so I don't have to subject my hair to a blow-drier, so we both dress at the same time. I, however, am usually still pretty groggy from sleep, while Heero is pumped for the day. Which is why it's so easy for him to pin me with a hug.

Pin is probably the right word here, even though it sounds odd with the word hug. You have to understand, I'm still not really able to express myself physically. I trust Heero at this point, but my brain still thinks that it's impossible for someone to touch me without hurting me. I mean, maybe it's right, but there are times it seems like it'd be worth a little pain to get closer to Heero.

Anyway, in order to administer said hug, Heero has to grab me while I'm not looking and pin my arms to my chest. The first time he tried it I nearly tossed both of us to the floor struggling, and I know he was bruised from all the things I threw him into. But Heero is just... Heero, and trying to go against him is like tossing yourself against a brick wall. He had decided that I needed physical affection, and he'd be damned if I wasn't going to get it, I guess.

It got easier after the first time. Once I realized that Heero wasn't going to let go but also wasn't going to do anything else I was grudgingly able to accept it. My arms were pinned, meaning I couldn't reciprocate, which helped to relieve some anxiety I would have otherwise had. Heero would pretty much grab me and hold on for three minutes, riding out the storm if I didn't want to be touched and trying to be gentle if I didn't seem to mind.

Letting him do this, as far as I was able to let him, helped to ease some of the guilt I felt about using him to calm my nightmares in the previous weeks then pushing him aside when I woke up. I'd felt terrible for it, and, though Heero eventually came to accept that I didn't want him to touch me afterwards, I always felt guilty about making him get out of bed before he could even wake me. Allowing him this little thing made me feel better, even though I knew we were far from even.

Speaking of nightmares, I had been surprised to find that I had only had one the entire week. It seemed that the whole touch-time thing had actually been helping to get rid of them instead of making them worse. Go figure. I guess you never can tell with the subconscious. But maybe it wasn't that surprising, seeing that the dreams had been easing ever since I'd come here. Where I used to have them at least once a night it had gradually declined to every other night, then every couple of nights, then only a couple times a week, and now I rarely had a nightmare bad enough to wake Heero. Maybe that was why Heero had begun to hug me, because he missed having an excuse to hold me at night.

I don't know what Heero sees in me. I mean, he's perfect at everything, and I'm perfect at nothing. Why would he want to be around someone who's always screwing up? But he does and I can't say that I'm not happy about it. Heero's a great guy.

Of course the other guys aren't too bad either. Quatre's a ray of sunlight, so sweet that he sometimes makes my teeth ache. I don't know how anybody that pure could have ever come out of a place like Collar, but here he is. I think he might have been afraid of me at first, though I can't blame him. I mean, if I'd a met the raving lunatic I was when I first came here, I'd have been scared of me too. Once I lost the raving part, though, he kind of came around. Quat's just too much of a sweetheart not to like somebody.

Trowa's a little too quiet for my taste, but he says a lot without using his voice. He's so expressive that it sometimes seems like he's speaking one a while different level than we are. He talks with his body and with those killer eyes. He was never afraid of me, though he was damn pissed for a long time about scaring him like I had with Quatre. I don't know what brought him around to me, but eventually he came around. Maybe it's my gorgeous eyes or my sparkling personality. Then again, maybe it was seeing all the fights I had with Zechs and realizing that I really did think he was going to hurt Kitty, at least in the beginning. Whatever the reason, we're pretty close now. I mean, we have to be. We both have to spend forever every day with drill-sergeant Wufei.

FeiFei! Damn, but is he fun to fight with. Out of all the other guys, Wufei's the only one who will get up and verbally kick my ass (though Heero would literally kick my ass, Trowa would give me one of those "melt your skin off" looks, and Quatre would cry, so everybody seems to have some kind of defense mechanism against me.) Wufei, though, gets this icy tone when I'm being an asshole and will just walk down that list of everything I've done wrong.

I'm probably making it sound like Fei's a hardass, which he is, but I kind of appreciate it sometimes. As much as he'll put me down when I'm slacking off, he'll do even more to help me out when I put some effort forward. And it's nice to have someone else in the house who will speak his mind and stand by his convictions. Trowa and Heero are so quiet, and Quatre's always so nervous, that I sometimes think I'm the only one with an opinion in the house. Wufei, though, will argue with me over any topic, and can usually hold his own without any trouble. Hell, he even holds his own against Zechs in a verbal match.

Zechs. The big blonde badass with a bleeding heart and healing hands. I hate to give him credit, but he's really managed to pull this whole thing out of his ass. I never thought I'd see a master give such good care to his slaves. It was a difficult situation for me, because on the one hand I couldn't forgive him for having slaves, and on the other I couldn't hate after all he'd given to his slaves. Not materially, of course, but... I don't know... in stability. Happiness. Just being treated like a person, I suppose. It was something we all, as slaves, treasured.

Anyway, I guess I've gotten a bit off track. When I got up on Saturday, Heero was no where to be found. We hadn't been through a Saturday since he'd found out about my problem, so I wasn't too upset, but it was something of a shock to my core. As a slave, you don't get much stability. Things change from instant to instant as you fall in and out of graces with your master. You never know if you're going to be fucked, beaten, or sold in any given instance. That's the only excuse I can give for feeling so deprived when Heero wasn't there to hug me. It had become one of the few things I allowed myself to rely on, and suddenly it wasn't there.

This is the only excuse I can give for my reaction, which was to hurl myself out of bed and barrel down the stairs, only to find Trowa making pancakes while Wufei and Heero calmly sat at the kitchen table drinking coffee.

"Duo? Is there something wrong?" Heero asked, thought they were all staring at me.

"Uhh... Ch. No!" I defended. "What would make you think that?"

"You're still in your pajamas," Trowa said.

"You're up before noon," Wufei added.

"You did scream," Heero supplied.

"I didn't scream!"

"If you say so," Heero said, turning back to his coffee. I hadn't screamed... had I? I tried to cover the whole thing with a laugh, then turned tail and fled the scene. There was only so much humiliation I could take in a day.

Heero, on the other hand, had other plans for my humiliation quota, and followed me out of the room. He kept pace with me even as I made a dash for the stairs, never giving me an inch until I was cornered in our bedroom. Once there, he shut the door behind him and pulled me into his arms.

I tensed up immediately. I just couldn't help myself. My body and my instincts both told me to get the him the hell off me before he decided to rough me up, but my mind knew that Heero's intent was genuine. I tensed, but managed to keep myself from becoming aggressive. Once I got myself to relax, my body finally realized that the person holding me was not a threat, and I was able to take in the feeling of being held. I hate to admit it, but it brought tears to my eyes. I was grateful that Heero had me pressed so close, otherwise I wouldn't have been able to my face in his shoulder.

"If you want me to touch you, you need to give me a little more encouragement than not throwing me into walls. I thought you'd be happy that I gave you the weekend off."

"I am," I huffed, glaring at the wall over his shoulder. "I'm not a wuss!" Unfortunately, the feeling of Heero's grip loosening proved me a liar. "Wait! D-don't go!" I gasped, and Heero went still.

"Needing to be touched isn't weakness," Heero told me calmly, patiently, "but denying yourself a pleasure so that others won't think badly of you is foolish. Especially around me."

"But you're the one I don't want thinking badly of me," I heard slip from my mouth in a hushed whisper.

"Then I'd say you're being ridiculous," he replied without missing a beat. "After all, I'm the one offering the touches. Who's to say that I don't do them as much for myself as for you?" he asked, and I had to pause at the novel concept. Because it was so hard for me to initiate physical contact, I always thought that it cost Heero a lot to give me these touches I needed so badly. Could he be getting just as much out of them as I was? But it was hard for Heero to do casual touches, and he actually only hugged me if I seemed to really need it or if it was scheduled, so how could this be giving him anything?

"Even I'm not perfect, Duo," Heero continued through my silence. "I know it's hard to trust someone to be gentle when so many people have been cruel. But you can't live in fear when you could just as easily live in peace. Will you let passed pain dictate your life now? Or can you move on from it? There's only so much that I can do," he admitted, resignation in his voice.

"I'm sorry," I whispered softly, laying my head on his shoulder. "I... I really appreciate all that you're trying to do for me. I'm sorry I don't tell you more often. I just.. I'm scared. I don't think.. I don't think I could bear it if all this suddenly disappeared on me."

"I couldn't either," Heero admitted softly, pulling back so that he could look into my eyes. Heero has the most gorgeous blue eyes, and I could almost feel myself being pulled in by the power of them. "But I won't let that fear steal away what I have now. You shouldn't either, but I can't force you to accept this. I can only push you, but eventually you have to make the leap yourself."

So I leapt.

And kissed him on the lips.


	141. Wufei 140

The morning began strange and grew steadily stranger. Of course, the first strangeness for me was to wake up alone in Zechs' big bed. For a second, I had no idea where I was, for I had never awoke in that room before without having some part of Zechs pressed against some part of me. It took a second to reorient myself and figure out exactly why I was in bed alone. When I did remember that Zechs had taken Quatre away for the weekend, I gained melancholy realization that I had at least one more night of cold sheets and too much room to stretch to look forward to. There was even a small, distasteful pang of jealousy. Not that I begrudged Quatre any of Zechs' time. I was merely feeling the loss of my own time with Zechs, and I couldn't help the bad feelings that came with that. He was, after all, the first man I would truly call my lover.

I managed to put aside my own bad mood as I dressed. I had even found a small up-side to Zechs being gone, as I got to take a much longer shower without having to split the time with him. Zechs always took forever to wash his hair, and while I could see the aesthetic merit of all that hair, I simply couldn't get my head around how much of a nuisance it had to be. As with Duo's braid, I just couldn't understand why one man would want to put so much effort into something as useless as hair.

Speaking of Duo, his absence from the breakfast table that morning only added to the strangeness of the day, as we were all aware of Heero's morning routine, which was a little anal even by my standards. Still, I somewhat enjoyed the peace and quiet. That is, of course, until the calm was shattered by a shriek from Duo that could bee heard all the way downstairs in the kitchen. Heero didn't even have time to get out of his seat before we heard the pounding of feet that signaled Duo's dash down the stairs. By the time he reached the kitchen he had gained the full attention of everyone in the room, including Trowa, who was supposed to be watching the pancakes.

I assumed, by the volume and desperation of his yell, that he was being chased by at least thirty armed men. I expected, at least, that he would be bleeding from some orifice of his body when he finally reached the safety of the kitchen. These were the only explanations I could fathom for someone to rouse from a dead sleep, especially duo's corpse-like slumber, and scream that way.

Imagine my surprise, then, when Duo appeared in the doorway, not only unharmed and alone, but with the audacity to wonder why we were staring at him so oddly. He even seemed upset, angry even, that we had noticed his behavior.

It was beyond my capacity to understand, so I let Heero follow Duo as he stormed out of the room. Heero speaks Duo-ese a little more fluently than the rest of us, though only the Gods know why or how he has managed to get inside Duo's head. I'm sure it's a frightening place, for more than one reason.

With Heero and Duo gone, quiet descended on the room once again, and I went back to sipping my tea, silently keeping Trowa company as he cooked. After a few minutes, Trowa joined me at the table, setting a large stack of pancakes in the center of the table. He nodded to me as he sipped his own glass of Chinese tea. Heero had been drinking strong, black coffee before Duo interrupted, and I doubted that Duo would have a taste for the somewhat bitter Chinese herbal tea that I enjoyed, but Trowa seemed to have a taste for it, and I offered him some whenever I brewed a pot, although he only rarely indulged.

Trowa and I seemed to have formed a quiet, tenuous friendship. It was a strange thing, I mused, as my teaching was both our strongest commonality and our largest barrier. On the one hand, Trowa and I had become closer through my patient instruction and his diligent studies. We had found commonality in the enjoyment of literature and learning. On the other hand, it was difficult for Trowa to get around the teacher-student wall that had been set up, and I often found myself falling into a lecturing tone even when we were speaking as friends. Still, I was closer to Trowa than I was to any of the others.

This is why, most likely, it was so easy for me to see through his blank mask and pick up on his worry. I could easily guess the root of that concern, as everyone was aware of how close Quatre and Trowa were. Despite being uncomfortable with the familiar gesture, I reached out and grasped Trowa's had as he cupped his mug of tea. Startled, Trowa met my eyes, and I could see the pain, worry, confusion, and fear all tangled together inside his mind, where he would let no one enter and put the fears to rest, nor let any of the fears out, where they might dissipate in the assurances of Zechs' competency. Instead, they would remain inside, festering like wounds, until someone lanced them and freed Trowa of their poison.

I opened my mouth, prepared to cut to the heart of the matter if need, when a loud crash from upstairs interrupted my thoughts. I heard the pounding of feet on the stairs and had the strangest feeling of deja vou, when suddenly Heero, and not Duo, came crashing through the kitchen and stormed like a could of thunder out the back door. In another moment, Duo came staggering into the kitchen, cursing and holding a bloody nose.

Trowa and I rose instantly, my previous intent completely forgotten, and rushed to Duo's side. Prying his fingers from his face we quickly found that he had a black eye and a bloody nose, but nothing seemed broken or severely damaged. As I led Duo to a chair and Trowa ran to fetch a towel, I couldn't help but ask, "What in the world happened?"

"Nothing," Duo replied sullenly, staring decidedly at the ceiling as he held his head back to stop the flow of blood.

"Obviously something happened," I responded, "You didn't get that from one of your video games, after all."

"I got what I damn well deserved," Duo growled, leveling a glare at me that could probably peel paint off of walls. "Now piss off, Wufei."

I bit my tongue on a scathing retort of my own, as a verbal battle was probably not the best idea right now, and stepped back, giving Trowa room to step in with a towel and an icepack.

"Thanks, Trowa," Duo mumbled, wiping the blood from his face. "I've got to get this cleaned up before Zechs sees it."

"Well, you've got a pretty fair chance of managing it," I said before I could stop myself.

"What?"

"Master will not be here this weekend," Trowa interjected for me. "He went no a retreat and will not be back until Sunday night."

"Perfect timing," Duo said, and I couldn't quite tell if he was being sarcastic or not. "So where's Quatre? I don't want him to get freaked out by all this blood."

"Quatre went with Master for the weekend," Trowa said. I tensed, preparing for an barrage of curses from Duo, but none were forthcoming. Instead, he merely closed his eyes and murmured, "Fucking hell," before standing and walking into the other room. Trowa and I glanced at each other, but neither of us seemed inclined to go after Duo right now, so we quietly sat down to eat.

The strangeness didn't stop there, as much as I'd like to say it did. Once breakfast was over, I went to spend a little time in the workout room, only to find Duo already there and pumping weights like a man possessed. From his angry eyes to the dried flakes of blood on his face, Duo spoke of a man trying to rid himself of his worries via sweat, and I doubted it would be good for my health to interrupt him. It was strangely... normal, to have Duo there in the gym with me, as Heero almost always spent a little time working out on the weekend, and while he never had as much gusto as Duo was showing, he certainly had the same level of dedication. There was a dark cloud hanging around Duo, though, and as much as it didn't bother me to have him there I still couldn't put up with the shadow of gloom following him, infecting the whole room, and throwing of my rhythm as I tried to work out. After half the time I usually spent on my morning exercises, I quietly got up and left the room. I would talk to Duo later, after his sour mood had become a bit more mild.

I left the gym wholly unsatisfied with my workout. I had barely broken a sweat, and I certainly hadn't touched my endurance level as I had hoped to. But I decided not to worry. After all, how long could Duo possibly hold that pace of exercise? Instead, I opted to wait him out by picking up a book of poetry and curling up in my favorite chair in the den.

Unfortunately, by the time I got my book and made it downstairs, I could already hear the sounds of a violent video game coming from the den. I sighed in annoyance. For Duo to have made it down here before me he would have had to leave the gym almost at the same time as me.

But... I could hear the sound of weight crashing against each other coming from the gym. So how?

I rounded the corner quickly, baffled by the two paradoxical sounds. For a moment, I wondered if Duo had somehow cloned himself, a terrifying thought, when I was startled to find Trowa, not a Duo, engrossed in a violent, bloody video game.

"Trowa?" I wondered, not sure whether to believe my eyes, ears, or intuition. "What are you doing?"

"Playing," he responded simply.

"Why?" I wondered. Trowa had never shown an interest in games before, and as far as I knew he actually disliked Duo's video games. Instead of immediately answering, though, Trowa paused, allowing his character to be brutally tossed to the ground where another, larger character proceeded to stomp on him, popping him like a bloody water balloon.

"It... keeps me from thinking," he said softly, then restarted his game, his character magically reappearing, unpopped, on the screen.

"Oh," I replied dumbly. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"No," he replied sharply, his character slicing the head off of the one that had previously destroyed him. "No talking. No thinking. Just playing."

"Oh," I mumbled quietly, backing out of the room. "Alright then," I said, and left.

From there, I decided it would best if I fled the entire house. To be honest, I was so thoroughly unnerved that I didn't think I could spend another minute inside without losing my mind. Nothing was going as it should. Could it be me? Was I so thrown off by a bad night's sleep that I was seeing everything through a distorted lense? But that couldn't be the case; I had more control than that and, besides, something was certainly wrong with the way everyone was acting.

I knew I had to clear my head, and since it was impossible for me to find my center in the house I opted to head outside to train. There was a conveniently placed post in the yard by the barn, which I had wrapped in rope and used as a dummy for some of my more strenuous martial arts moves. Since my workout this morning had been interrupted, I thought it might be a good way to clear my head practice my kicks and jumping moves. Unfortunately, the gods were angry at me, and I arrived at my training spot only to find Heero already hard at work, using my moves on my beam.

It was a surreal moment I had just then: Trowa was acting like Duo, Duo was acting like Heero, and Heero was acting like me. Did that make me Trowa? A realized, with shockingly sudden clarity, that I had wandered around all morning, saying hardly a word to anyone. What the hell? Was I perhaps in some parallel universe where our personalities where all switched.

"I must be dreaming," I murmured to myself as I continued to watch Heero viciously destroy my training pole. If I didn't know better, I would have thought that he actually believed he could hit the four-by-four hard enough to break it in half with only his body. His face I could only liken to cold steel, for he wore no expression but that of determination. His body was covered in beads of sweat.

And yet, I noticed as I stood there watching him, was it merely my imagination, or were his cheeks just a bit more moist than the rest of him?

Perhaps I had fallen into some strange place, but some rules seemed to transcend even a shift in reality. Even here, it seemed, a split between Heero and Duo could not come without pain.


	142. Heero 141

I wasn't sure how long Wufei had been standing there before I noticed him. It spoke of how deeply I had been affected, that I didn't even notice him watching me. Nor was he trying to hide it, which might have slightly excused my absent-mindedness, as Wufei was a champion of martial arts and could walk like a cat if he so chose. But his stance, when I finally noticed him, spoke of a deliberate invitation for attention. The set of his jaw told me that he wanted to speak with me, and I considered ignoring him, in hopes that he would go away.

But my unease was strong enough that I actually thought another opinion might be warranted, since I was uncertain that I could solve the situation on my own. On the other hand, I was also uncertain of how to solicit advise from the abnormally quiet Wufei. Luckily, he chose to open the conversation, because I wasn't sure how to.

"Heero, is there a reason you've decided to remove my practice pole from the landscape?"

"Hn," I responded, suddenly realizing just how hard I had been hitting the wooden spike. I was slightly amazed that there hadn't been a crack; either in the wood or my leg.

There was a wooden fence along the barn that passed only a few feet away. Wufei calmly walked passed me and perched himself on the fence, while I tried to catch my breath, resting my had against the pole that I had just been abusing. Wufei gave me only a moment to rest.

"Talk to me," he demanded, leveling a serious stare at me. "The house is a mess, I'm not completely sure I'm sane right now, and it seems that you and Duo are at the pinnacle of at least half the problem. Since Duo is beyond speaking right now, you're going to have to explain to me how, exactly, Duo gained that bloody nose this morning."

"I hit him," I responded. I was usually grateful for Wufei's straightforward manner, but today I was uncertain of how to reply to his no-nonsense questions. I wasn't sure, myself, what the answers were.

"Ah. That explains everything," Wufei replied distastefully, with sarcasm. "Why, pray tell, did you hit him?"

"He kissed me."

Wufei, for once, was silent.

Well, for a moment, anyway.

"He what?"

"He kissed me."

"Then... I suppose he deserved it," Wufei replied. I sighed in relief. I had been worried that Wufei would think that I was in the wrong. After all, Wufei had a reputation for hating masters as much as Duo did. I had been worried he would sympathize. But, it seemed, Wufei understood. Or perhaps he only thought he understood. To be honest, I wasn't completely sure that I understood.

It... wasn't just the kiss. Of course, my first reaction to anyone getting that close to me would have been to hit them, but I had somewhat accustomed myself to allowing Duo close, even when his motives were uncertain or violent in nature. But... the kiss was forbidden. He knew it, I knew it, and every slave knew it. The only person who might not be aware of that rule might be Master Zechs, but I couldn't take that chance. The punishment for kissing without permission could be as harsh as being sold, and the punishment for falling in love was death.

It was that last part that made me push Duo away. It was... It was too tempting. Too uncertain. Too close. We were too close. Dependant on one another for affection and support, how quickly could those emotions give way to love? I had never dealt with love before, so I could not calculate the probable consequences of it, but I had been told that it could drive men insane. I couldn't afford that, not this close to Collar. Not when everything else was going so well. And, most of all, not with a Master like Zechs.

"What do you intend to do?" Wufei asked from his perch on the fence. "You can't just leave it like this."

"Duo needs time to settle," I responded. "Then I will discuss this with him."

"A wise decision, at least for the first part. I'm not sure Duo will be as rational as you'd like for the second."

"Hn," I replied, walking over to the fence and leaning back against it. "Regardless, I cannot allow these emotions to continue."

"Cannot allow? You make it seem as though Duo can merely command his affection for you to vanish."

"What else would you have me do?"

"Perhaps you should agree on a proper way to go about advancing this relationship."

"You speak as though there is a relationship to advance."

"Is there not?"

"No. My only concern is my relationship with Master Zechs. My affection for Duo is merely an offshoot of that goal."

Wufei frowned, then moved to stand in front of me. He peered into my eyes, studying them, and I tried not to reveal my true emotions to his piercing eyes. I must have failed.

"If you believe what you are saying, you are a fool."

Of course, he was right. If I looked deeper (which I was desperately trying not to, thus the previously mentioned abuse of wood) I would have to admit that it wasn't as simple as a difference between a high risk and a low risk, or even between right and wrong. The problem was, if I took the time to analyze it properly, that I already loved Duo. I already did stupid things over him, and sacrificed my own happiness so that he could have his. All the sure signs of love- irrationality, self-sacrifice, dedication- were already there.

The problem wasn't if I could or should love Duo... the problem was that I loved Zechs as well. Loved him first. And loved him deepest. While love with Duo was frightening and strange, love with Zechs was soothing and rational. Zechs was like a cool stream, while Duo was a smoldering fire. Zechs could sooth my mind, where Duo only caused more turmoil.

That was why I pushed Duo away. In loving Duo, accepting his love, and returning it, I would be snapping the link that I had formed with Master Zechs, however tenuous and strained that bond might be. It would be a betrayal of the worst kind, and I wasn't willing to betray Zechs for anyone, not even for Duo.

The only response I could give was to lower my eyes, but it seemed to be enough for Wufei, for he sniffed decidedly and returned to his place at the fence. My mind, however, was not so easliy put at ease. How could I reject Duo if I had feelings for him? How could I keep him if I loved Master Zechs?

"It makes no difference what I feel," I said suddenly, convicted that it was the only possible solution. "I will reject Duo's advances."

Beside me, I heard Wufei sigh. "I can tell that nothing I say will change your mind. However, I warn you, be cautious in your dealings with Duo. He feels everything very strongly, and gives himself over with a passion that borders on obsession."

"Do you think he will refuse to compete in Collar if I refuse his advances?"

"I think your rejection could hinder his progress, yes, but I'm more worried about his mental state. Collar comes around every year, but we only have one chance with Duo. I don't want you to break his spirit."

"Should I allow this to continue."

"No. If you feel the need to break it off, you must do it now. Duo's affection is still in its infancy and had yet to take a solid root. The longer you give it, the deeper these attachments will go."

"So I should tell him that these emotions are inappropriate and he must discontinue them."

"I did not say that. Personally, I believe that you should explore this relationship. It is not healthy for you to think only of Zechs in everything you do. You should be able to grow as yourself as well."

I stared at him for a moment, trying to puzzle out what he could mean by that. When I finally managed to understand, I couldn't help but smile at his ingenuity."

"I understand now," I told him, although he seemed confused by my smile. Perhaps he assumed I would not be able to interpret his motivation. "You wish to be Master's favorite."

Wufei face did a perplexing dance then, from surprise, to confusion, to a dawning horror. When it was finished, he looked at me in a stunned kind of shock.

"I wouldn't! I don't!" he stuttered, but there was an underlying question that I didn't have the answer to, so I stood and started back to the house.

"You and I are not so different, Wufei," I told him as I walked, never looking back. "We both want a place in the same man's esteem," I told him. It was a moment before he answered, and even then it was so soft that I would have missed it had the wind not carried it to me.

"No, we are not the same, for I seek a place in his heart."


	143. Trowa 142

It hadn't been a good day. Not that anything terribly bad had happened, nor did I expect anything catastrophic to occur. It just... hadn't been as pleasant a day as I had become used to.

It may have seemed to me like a worse day than it actually was, as I couldn't seem to shake this sense of... melancholy, which kept me from feeling any joy. Of courses, at least part of the reason for my bad mood was certainly Quatre's absence and my resulting worry. Even though Master had taken me aside the night before and assured me that he was neither angry at Quatre, going to sell Quatre, or going to hurt Quatre, I still couldn't seem to stop worrying about him.

Not that I thought Master was actually going to hurt him. I had known Master Zechs for long enough now that I would easily trust him with any of our lives, having full confidence that he would not allow harm or abuse to come to any of them. And yet, having lived so long with masters who would buy and sell in a heartbeat, having my name and style changed almost weekly, and losing or gaining friend and enemy slaves every day, I couldn't help but feel that nagging sense that I would never see Quatre again. I didn't believe it, but I couldn't stop from feeling it.

Perhaps the worst compound to the problem was Master's absence. While I was closest among my peers to Quatre, I'm not sure I could say who I was closer to at that time; Master or Quatre. While I enjoyed a friendship and equality with Quatre, I also enjoyed being dominated and taken care of by Master. Having both of them gone, it seemed like my entire support system had suddenly been pulled away from me. I knew, if I had asked, any of the others would have listened to me, and I contemplated more than once talking to Wufei about it, but it wasn't so much verbal reassurances that I was after. With Quatre, I would probably seek to lose my cares by making music with him, or with Master I would have certainly sought physical reassurances through either touch or sex. Unfortunately, I wasn't comfortable asking any of the other for the same kind of affection, and, since I was pretty sure that talking about it would only cause me too worry more, I declined Wufei's offer to talk and avoided the others.

I tried desperately to distract myself, with only mild success. Music and cooking were things Quatre and I did together, so I couldn't find joy in either of those tasks. Master, meanwhile, would have probably allowed me to seduce him, then used the period of blissful lethargy after sex to coax the problem out of me. Neither of these outlets, then, were open to me, and I found that I just couldn't keep my mind on any book. It was desperation, then that caused me to look to Duo's video games as a distraction, but thankfully they proved to be just what I needed to calm my tumultuous mind. As Duo had no interest in them that day, I was allowed to distract myself for long periods of time without interruption.

Of course, I was well aware of the fight between Duo and Heero. With only four people in the house it was impossible not to realize that something was amiss between the close pair, and certainly the blood on Duo's face that morning would have clued me in if nothing else had. I felt vaguely guilty for

not attempting to mediate the fight, but I just didn't think I could handle their problems on top of my own. Duo and Heero had both often struck me as somewhat high maintenance, and I just couldn't find the type of energy it would have taken to talk to the two. Without Master around to keep them in line, I wasn't sure they'd listen to me anyway.

The house was quiet all that day, as though a kind of oppressive air was bogging down the sounds and preventing them from being heard. By nightfall, a crypt couldn't have sounded any more silent than the house. At dinner, the clinking of glasses and silverware rang like church bells after a funeral. At least, that how it sounded to me, though I will be the first to admit that I was probably in a pretty sour mood that day. Worry about Quatre was eating at me from the inside, and the constant silence only allowed me more time to concentrate on the pain. Morbidly, I couldn't help but wonder if the house would remain like this, if Master returned without Quatre. Was it Quatre's absence that created such a foul mood? Or Master's? It was hard to say which I missed more, and it was only my worry for Quatre that caused me to think more of him. My longing for Master was compounded by this situation, because I both missed and needed him fiercely without Quatre around. With the both of them gone, my support system was almost completely destroyed, and it made me acutely aware of just how dependent I really was.

I'm sure I make it sound like I didn't trust Master to take care of Quatre while they were gone. Honestly, that wasn't at all the way I thought. The simple truth is that Quatre was the only one I could contemplate not coming back. Were Quatre to not return, I could see the house becoming depressed, despondent even, but current existence would continue. It would not have the level of happiness we had come to expect from living with Master, but certainly we would continue to live as a unit, trying to overcome the tragic loss of our little angel.

Without Master, though, there would be no continued existence. The group would be splintered, each sold to a new Master or, in Wufei's case, returned to the old. It was unlikely that any of us would be permitted to stay together, and assuming that some were allowed the level of freedom and closeness we had experienced would probably completely vanish. Outside Master's protective embrace, we would become enemies and hollow shells of the people Master had tried to create. Death would seem welcoming by comparison. With the hope of seeing Master again in it, I could not guarantee that we would avoid, consciously or subconsciously, seeking it. After tasting paradise with master, we would all be eager to return.

Beyond that, the group was falling apart around us with Master gone. It was a bad thing, I knew, for us to be this dependent on Master, for we would not always be able to stay with him. However, I could also see that some of the stress was caused by the newness of the relationship. I could tell that the others, as I was, were suffering from the faint but terrifying doubt that Master would return. It, along with the stresses of teen life, our compounding mental traumas, and Master's first true absence, was proving too much for our little family. Wufei was doing his best to bring us together, but it was in his nature to be slightly aloof and removed from others. From the way he held himself and interact with the others I could tell that he had a hard time getting close to others, and an even harder time opening up to them. Wufei was much more comfortable with his books or subjects like philosophy and strategy. And it wasn't all Wufei's fault. It seemed that the others, as well, were having a hard time talking to him. Wufei was, after all, almost the last to be added to the group, and the only member still holding ties to another Master. As much as Wufei had done to gain the groups trust, there was still some underlying mystery to his motives that, perhaps subconsciously, the others found keeping them form opening up completely to Wufei. Whatever the reason, Wufei was doing his best to hold the group together while we waited for Master to return and reunite us, but it was impossible to tell if it would be enough.

Midnight found me lying in bed, staring at the ceiling. Most of us had retired some time after ten, which probably spoke of how much we all missed Master Zechs, that we would follow his usual pattern even if he was not here to tell us. It was impossible to sleep, though, even with the realization that Quatre and Master would return sooner if I did. For a while, I practiced the letters that Wufei had taught me, going over the shape of each letter in my head and trying to place it with its sound. Then I began to pair them, the c and the k, the i and the e, until I had worked through all the combination sounds they could make up to ough and augh. Then I tried to think of the way a word would look if made of letters, but a shout from Heero and Duo's room interrupted me. I listened again, worried someone might have broken in, but when the sound came again I realized, from the tone and length, that Duo was simply having another nightmare. I stayed in bed, knowing that Heero would comfort Duo, and also that Heero was the only one who could. Duo continued to whimper and moan, but it often took him some time to come out of the dream, so I thought nothing of it. After a moment, I returned to my word game, but dozed off soon after.

The next morning, panic ensued. I knew before I even opened my eyes, though I wasn't so observant enough to guess the cause. I contemplated, for a moment, keeping my eyes closed as the quickly shuffling footsteps passed my door, but the choice was taken from my hands as my door softly opened, admitting another pair of quickly shuffling footsteps entered my room. I wondered, in the moment before I opened my eyes, why the other would bother softening their footsteps they weren't concerned about waking me, in which case they wouldn't have opened my door. It struck me, as I opened my eyes to see Heero opening my closet, that something serious must be happening. Unfortunately, I couldn't prevent the first words out of my mouth from being, "Why are you in my closet?"

He didn't answer immediately, instead pushing aside my clothes and poking through, as if trying to unearth some treasure. It wasn't until he pulled back and closed the closet door that he spoke to me.

"Duo's missing."

"Missing? Since when?"

"Late last night or early this morning, we think," Wufei said, entering the room then turning to Heero. "No sign of him?"

"I told you he wouldn't be in here. Why would he try to hide in the house?"

"It's a lot better than assuming the alternative."

We all knew what the alternative was. If Duo was not hiding somewhere in the house, then he had run away. If Master found out, the punishment would be severe. If Duo wasn't sold, then Master was very generous indeed. If Duo wasn't found quickly or found at all and Collar got wind of it, it would mean severe fines for Master, humiliation, and the possibility of having all his slave taken away. The rest of us... well, at the very least we would have to deal with an angry master, and the worst was too much to think about.

"Wait," I stopped them, sitting up and pushing down the covers. Outside, I noticed, it was raining in a fierce downpour. "How... did Duo get out?"

"He must have snuck out while I was sleeping," Heero replied, his stare slightly fiercer than usual.

"But... he had a nightmare. I heard it. How could he sneak out of your bed?" I wondered. The glare softened minutely, and his eyes flicked to the side. I didn't need his next words to understand what had happened.

"We were not in the same bed."

"Heero!" Wufei gasped, shocked.

"It was only one night!" Heero growled defensively. "I didn't... I didn't want him to get the wrong idea. I never thought he'd run off because of it!"

"Duo has always been unstable," I told them, trying to bring some sanity back into a situation that was rapidly deteriorating into a fight. "This may have pushed him over the edge, but we always knew there was a possibility he would bolt. The question it, what do we do now?"

"We have to find him and get him back here before Master returns!" Heero responded emphatically.

"No. This is too big for us to handle on our own. We need to call Zechs now, before Duo gets any further."

"Master will get rid of him the instant he finds out Duo bolted! You're condemning him to a fate worse than death!"

"You don't know that. And, besides, what if we don't find Duo? Did you think about that? Zechs will be ruined, we'll be sold, and Duo will either be found and killed or die somewhere in the wilderness."

"Look at the rain, Wufei! He couldn't have gotten far! We could have him back here before Master even..."

"This is ridiculous! You can't just..."

"I won't..."

"Listen here..."

"Enough!" I demanded, my level tone carrying well over their bickering. They quieted instantly, and I fought the urge to rub my temples. I wasn't even out of bed and already they'd given me a headache. "Wufei, what time is Master scheduled to be back?"

"Around noon, but certainly you can't..."

"It's unlikely Master could get back much sooner than that even if we called him. Heero, that gives you until noon to find Duo. After that, Wufei and I bring Master up to speed if you don't. The important thing here is that we find Duo, which will never happen if you two keep bickering." They nodded their assent. "Good. I'll assume you've searched all the buildings, so we'll meet in the kitchen in ten minutes with any equipment that might be useful. Radios, blankets, medkits, and flashlights are going to be a necessity, but bring anything else that you think might be helpful. Let's move."


	144. Zechs 143

Despite the fact that Quatre and I had both gone to sleep fairly early the night before, neither of us awoke before ten the next morning. Unfortunately, having slept so late, there was little time to do anything other than shower, eat, and pack before it was time to head home. Of course, we probably would have spent more time on the latter two had Quatre not surprised me into a quickie in the shower.

It amazed that, the morning after our first being intimate, Quatre was able to come back from all the traumatic things that had happened to him to be with me. Would it be vain to say I was somewhat proud of myself ? For he certainly bent over eagerly enough for me that morning in the shower, even though I offered him ulterior modes of release.

By noon we were sated, clean, filled, packed, and on the way home. In the car, despite previous protests that he was fine, Quatre soon drifted to sleep, slowly slipping until he lay across my lap, his head pillowed on the crook of my arm. The play of the sun through the trees as the limo hastened us through the dense forest made shadows play across his face, giving it an almost impish or elven quality. I smiled softly, entranced by his beauty and unsurprised by his sleep. These last few days had been emotionally, and somewhat physically, trying for Quatre. He had overcome a lot in a mere few days, and I was proud of the progress he had made. He deserved a little rest, especially now that we were returning. I had taken him away from the others when I decided to seduce him, not only to give him privacy, but also to escape the challenge aspects of the relationships between the slaves. Now, with the group dynamics abruptly changing again, I wondered how the others would react to this new, sexual side of Quatre.

Of course, though the next few days might create some tension, I had no doubt that the boys would overcome it. Something as slight as this would not break them apart, and perhaps it would even bring them closer. Whatever the outcome, I decided as I laid my head back against the seat, for now I would rest, just for a moment, and enjoy the quiet peace that the ride was offering.

It was the last bit of peace I would gain that day.

As we got nearer to home, we entered into a fierce downpour. Water was puddled inches deep along the side of the road, so I inferred that the rain had begun several hours early, probably sometime late at night or in the early hours of the morning. Looking back, I suppose I should have been forewarned by the omen, but it seemed that my weekend with Quatre had left my mind somewhat overly optimistic.

I had expected, perhaps somewhat vainly, that our arrival to the house would be met with warm greetings. If not for my welcome, I had expected that Trowa at least would want to welcome Quatre home. Even with the rain, I had thought they would at least be waiting at the door, though I had somewhat expected them to brave the storm to welcome us back. Saying that I was disappointed would be a little strongly worded, but I was certainly concerned.

Quatre, who had awoken a few miles away from the house, took in the scene with the same trepidation that I had, and I could see outright worry in his eyes. Quatre is far more astute than normal people about these kinds of things, and I trusted his intuition more than my own. Seeing the fear in his eyes, I was immediately up and out of the car, uncharacteristically leaving the driver to bring the luggage in. Quatre was only a step behind me, which was a testament to how in sync we had become.

I managed to keep the door from slamming against the wall as we entered, but just barely. In my haste to find the boys, I completely forgot to shut it, and would probably have left it standing open despite the rain had Quatre not closed it behind me.

"Boys?" I called, pausing to listen for their voices. The house was unnaturally silent. "Wufei? Heero? Duo? Trowa? Where are you?"

"Master?" came a voice from down the hall. It was a sopping wet and muddy Trowa who rushed to meet us, barefoot because of the mud and dirty from head to toe. In his hand was one of the small radios I kept in the basement for emergencies, and as I entered he raised it to his mouth and said something that I couldn't make out.

"What's happening? Where are the others?" I asked him as soon as I was close enough to be sure he was alright.

"I just called Heero and Wufei in," he replied, his tone calm and gentle as ever, though I saw his eyes shift to Quatre, who was flagging me nervously. "We can meet them in the kitchen. Did your trip go well?" he wondered, casually changing the subject, though I could sense a hint of nervousness. Whatever was going on, I could tell Trowa didn't want to face me alone when it was brought into the open.

"It was fine," I replied tensely, already heading for the front of the house.

"Did you... Did you accomplish your goal?" he asked, his voice barely above a whisper.

"Of course," Quatre replied, interceding between the two of us. The last thing I wanted to do right now was give reassurances to an uncertain and possibly jealous teen. Perhaps Quatre could sense that, because he took Trowa by the hand and pulled him away from me, slowing their pace as I hurried ahead. I could hear Quatre murmuring reassurances that everything had turned out well even as I practically ran to the kitchen to meet with the other boys. But only Heero and Wufei, both just as muddy and worn-looking as Trowa, who were there to meet me.

Duo was suspiciously absent.

"Where's Duo?" I asked as calmly as I could manage. Their guilty faces made my heart sink and reassured me that I hadn't been merely jumping to conclusions. "What happened?"

"It's my fault," Heero said, stepping forward. I listened, but dismissed his words. Heero was willing to take the blame for almost anything if it would keep the other boy out of trouble. I wondered if that sort of attachment was healthy for this stage in their relationship, but quickly pushed the thought aside. There were more important things to think about. "We had a fight, and when I got up this morning he was gone."

"Have you checked the house?"

"Yes sir."

"What about the basement and the attic? You know Duo can fit into the crawl spaces."

"We check them twice."

"You checked the barn?"

"Yes sir... Master?"

"What?"

"...Bee is gone."

It took me a moment to realize what Heero was implying.

"Duo's on horseback?" I growled, grinding my teeth together to keep from losing my temper. I managed it, but only because I knew that flying into a rage at the boys, as with any troops, would only cause them to lose focus and panic. I needed to seem totally collected if we were going to have any chance of pulling this off.

"We think so."

"Why didn't you call me?" I snapped, just barely reigning my flaring anger. If Duo was on horseback, and if he somehow managed to get around the perimeter guards on the horse, he could be gone for good. Obviously, I should have been called regardless, and there would be severe discussions of exactly what actions were called for in such a state of emergency, but trying to catch Duo on foot was a lot less serious than trying to catch him on a horse.

"We were just coming to call you," Wufei said calmly, stepping between Heero and myself. "We only realized Bee was gone minutes ago."

"Heero, you've been showing Duo how to ride. How far could he have gotten?" I asked, looking over Wufei to where Heero nearly cowered behind him.

"Not very far. He isn't very good at riding, and he has a hard time keeping Bee from bolting when she's startled. There's a good chance, with all of this lightening, that he'll waste half his time trying to catch her."

"Alright, I want you four to wait here while I go make a phone call," I told them sternly, then turned and stormed into my office. Viciously I forced the switch on and pounded in the number for my head guard.

If I were honest, I would have to admit that it was more than worry and wounded pride that would make me behave in such a fashion. Yes, I was worried about Duo and my assignment, and yes, I was upset that Duo had dared to run away, but even I knew that the main reason for my anger wasn't so petty. It was betrayal that sat so poorly in my stomach, that festered in my heart even as I rushed to save the very thing that was causing me so much pain. The question haunted me, even as I impatiently waited for my guard to answer, as to wether he had merely been biding his time here and waiting for me to leave so that he could run off. Had it all been faked? His joy and his pain, could I trust any of it, now that he had shown how little it all meant to him? I had thought... well, I certainly hadn't thought he liked me, but I had wanted to believe that he was learning to tolerate me. Was his life here really so bad, that he would run off in a typhoon to get away from it? And what of the others? Surely he must have known what pain losing him would cause to them, even without my wrath falling upon them. And Heero? Did the devotion Heero had given him mean nothing, that he would let a petty squabble come between them? If that could be trusted as well, for if he had faked every other emotion he had shown so far then surely he could fake a fight realistic enough to put Heero at odds with him. Had he just been using Heero? Had he just been using all of us?

The time for such thoughts ended abruptly as the alert, watchful face of my commanding guard appeared on screen. His hair was dark with flecks of gray scattered about, and his face was clean-shaven but wrinkled. Still, his eyes held all the wisdom of an elder and all the energy of a youth, and I trusted his skills explicitly. So I could only pray that the news he gave me would be good.

"I have a missing slave. Duo, the one with the long hair, went missing early this morning. Have you apprehended him?"

"Negative," came his instant response, and my heart sank. "We were not aware that we should be tracking him."

"The information was just made available to me. Has the storm interfered with your equipment?"

"Negative."

"Has anyone crossed the property lines since last night?"

"No," he told me firmly. "All our equipment is running smoothly, and no person has walked onto or off of this property except for you yourself. Wherever the kid is, he's within the eighty acres that we're watching. Do you want me to deploy troops to search for him, commander?"

"Negative. Do not leave your post. The most crucial mission for now is to keep Duo from getting off the property. Triple patrols and make sure someone is watching the live feeds and alarms at all times. We can't let Duo get off the property."

"Yes, sir."

"I'll have my radio on the standard frequency. If you find him, notify me immediately. Dismissed," I said, then disconnected the line.

I sighed and rubbed at my temples. It was going to be a long day, I thought, but there was barely even time for the thought to cross my mind before I was heading to the kitchen to rally my slaves.

It was time to chase down Shinigami.


	145. Wufei 144

Quatre was named base commander, probably because Master didn't want someone with that little body-fat out in the wind and rain. His job was to watch in case Duo came back (which was highly unlikely) and keep a constant stream of hot drinks flowing. Zechs called Sally to come up, probably both in case anyone got hurt and to keep an eye on Quatre, who's weight and health, though better, were still kept under close scurteny by Master. Regardless, Sally arrived within an hour, and immediately began harassing Quatre about his weight, even though it looked like he'd gained a few ounces while he was away. Still, Quatre seemed well at ease with Sally, which helped to put Master at ease.

The rest of us quickly resumed the hunt, with Master at the forefront this time. At first, Zechs and Heero mounted their horses to search while Trowa and I tried to track Duo from the ground. Unfortunately, the storm was so strong that it had washed away all his footprints, and it was impossible to tell which branches had been broken by him and which had been snapped by the wind. Even Trowa's sharp tracking skills failed in the face of such a washout, and we eventually mounted behind Heero and Zechs to lend the mounted search and extra pair of eyes.

It seemed like a hopeless venture right from the start, and only grew more desperate as the hours passed. The storm picked up speed, as though the wind itself was trying to hide Duo from us. The weather turned abruptly cold, made only worse by the wind and torrential rains. I huddled close to Zechs' back, savoring the warmth of his body after only a few days of absence, clinging tighter as the wind threatened to pull me right off the back of the horse. I was beginning to worry that we would neither find Duo nor make it out of this storm.

Zechs, though, was a rock that even the storm could not lift. Onward he trudged, guiding his horse forward through waist-deep water and bogs of my and debris. Never wavering, I was awed by his strength, and it suddenly dawned on me that I had never stood a chance in dueling a man of this caliber. I was only grateful that such a pure soul contained such great strength. I shuddered to imagine the consequences if Zechs had been like the Owner.

If Zechs was a rock in the storm, then certainly Heero was a demon. Always several lengths in front of us, it seemed that Heero could barely contain himself from leaping off his horse and searching on foot at a frantic pace that the storm and the horses would not allow. Despite this, Heero rode Zero like the hounds of hell were nipping at their heels, and Trowa was very little help as he clung desperately to horse and rider in an attempt to stay mounted.

By eight o'clock, hope of finding Duo was beginning to wain as no signs of him were forthcoming. After almost eight hours of constant searching, punctuated by only brief stops for rest and dry clothes, we were all exhausted. When the weather, already fearsome and frigid, took a sudden dip in temperature and began to rain chunks of hail down upon us, Zechs called a halt to our journey and led the horses back to the barn. Once the horses, also exhausted, were settled in the barn, the four of us trudged back to the house, where warm blankets and hot cocoa awaited us.

But one in our party was not ready to even pause. As the rest of us grabbed hot mugs supplied by Quatre and draped ourselves wearily across the kitchen chairs, Heero was already moving determinedly to the maps spread out across the kitchen table. We had placed markers at all the place we had already been, so there was a spiral of dots moving from the farthest edges of the property toward the house. Our best hope to find Duo would be to stumble over him in whatever makeshift shelter he had found for himself. If he was on the move in whether like this we had very little chance of either spotting him or chasing him down; however, the storm made it unlikely that he would be able to maintain movement, especially with the few supplies he could have taken from the house.

Heero's first task was to set up markers for the new places we had searched. He placed the small, blue chips across the map carefully, then absently picked up the mug Quatre handed to him. I have no doubt that, had Quatre not thrust the mug of steaming liquid directly into his hands, Heero would have ignored the needs of his body completely. As it was, he only took a few sips before setting the cup aside and turning to Zechs.

"Based on our search so far, I believe that Duo must be hiding either here," he said, gesturing to a thick grove of trees on the map, "or here," he continued, this time waving to a stone crevice that the nearby stream had created, "we should be able to search both places within an hour on horseback..."

"The horses are exhausted. Taking them out again tonight would be a risk to their health," Zechs countered, his tone as serious as I'd ever heard it.

"I understand. It will be much more difficult on foot, then, but if we leave now..."

"No one's going anywhere right now, much less out into that storm. I won't have you all going hypothermic on the off chance that Duo is close-by. You all need at least a half an hour to warm up before I let you go back out, and that's assuming none of you managed to catch a fever from being wet and cold."

"But..."

"Zechs is right, Heero," Sally interjected, her voice taking on a professional edge. "You are all risking serious sickness as it is, and you could easily die out there if you don't give your body time to recuperate. Everyone needs to get into dry clothes, warm up, and get something to eat. You're no good to us dead."

"We can't just leave Duo out there!"

"We'll find him, Heero," Zechs said placatingly, placing a hand on the tense boy's shoulder, "Just not until the storm breaks."

"The could be hours!" Heero growled, pulling away from his taller master. "Duo could be dead by then! He could be dead now! He could have frozen to death out there and it would be all my... all my..." he gasped, barely holding himself above a complete breakdown. His closest friend was gone, possibly dead, and all over a stupid fight between the two of them. Looking at the raw, bleeding pain in Heero's eyes, I felt like smacking Duo into the next decade, assuming he was found alive and well.

There were really no words that would have comforted Heero right then, and I think Zechs knew this, because he silently pulled Heero tight against his chest, offering support to the emotional teen. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Sally leave the room and could only wonder if she had been overcome by the emotion in the room or if something else had come up. Quatre and Trowa, on the other hand, were seated side by side at the kitchen's small bar, with Trowa nurse a mug of chocolate and supporting a teary-eyed Quatre beside him. Like me, their eyes were glued to the scene playing out between Heero and Zechs at center stage. I could only wonder what would happen next as Heero's angst quieted and his determination remained the same. In a moment, he pulled away from Zechs and rubbed his eyes.

"Please, Master" Heero begged, his voice barely above a whisper, "I can't lose him."

"You won't" Zechs promised, "If there's any way to find, I swear to you, we'll get him back. But I won't trade your life for his, Angel. Don't ask me to."

"I have to go with you," Heero decided suddenly, frowning and attempting to pull away from Zechs. "You don't know him like I do, you won't know where to look. You won'tfind him without me!" he declared, clenching his fists determinedly. It was then that I caught sight of Sally reentering the room, and the item clenched in her hand made my esteem for the good doctor rise a notch or two. Zechs, also noticing Sally's entrance, suddenly pulled Heero into another fierce hug.

Which made the boy completely helpless when Sally injected what I could only assume was a sedative into his restrained arm. A dishonorable act, perhaps, but a noble intention, as I was certain that, unrestrained, nothing could have kept Heero from braving the storm again. And, this side of consciousness, I wasn't sure we could even keep him restrained. Heero cursed and thrashed as he felt the needle pierce his skin, but the drug took effect quickly and he slumped in Zechs' arms after only a few seconds.

"Take him from me," Master instructed, motioning Trowa over. Gently he handed his burden over to Trowa, who easily and carefully maneuvered the smaller body. "Take him upstairs, get him into dry clothes, and put him to bed."

"Yes, Master."

"Wufei, could you go help him? Then I want you both in to dry clothes as well. You won't be doing anyone any good with pneumonia," Zechs said. We nodded, and then moved to accomplish the task.

Heero was much easier to handle unconscious. Trowa and I managed to get him out of his wet clothes an into dry ones, an awkward if not difficult task, and tucked him in to his single bed. The frown on his face as we settled him in seemed to single his unconscious awareness of his missing bed-partner, but there was no way to currently rectify the situation. So Trowa and I left Heero to change our own clothes, then met Quatre downstairs, where he had a bowl of soup waiting for each of us.

It was several minutes later, after my own soup had been inhaled in front of the cozy fire in the den, that I realized Zechs had yet to join us. It seemed that he had taken far long enough to change his clothes, and so I asked Quatre about it.

"I'm sure I saw him go upstairs," the blond replied, his brow furrowing in confusion. "I don't know what could be taking him so long."

With a mounting sense of dread, I rose and climbed the stairs to the master bedroom. The door was firmly closed, but inside I could hear no sounds of movement, so I was unsurprised when I opened the door to reveal no person inside. I stepped inside anyway, perhaps to stifle a sense of disbelief. A flash of lightening outside the window caught my eye, and I moved closer, only to have my sight drawn to a door swinging open in the barn. I was certain I had closed the barn when I came out. Which could only mean one thing.

Zechs was gone.


	146. Zechs 145

I fought Charger as he tried, once again, to turn back to the barn, all the while cursing myself as an idiot. Perhaps the horse was far smarter than I was, for he at least had the good sense to tuck his tail between his legs and admit when the storm had outdone him. Whereas I, on the other hand, was stupidly trying to face the storm head on without even having rest or backup to help me. But that look in Heero's eyes...

Idiot.

The storm was only growing stronger, and the weather more icy with it. Where you could just barely see your breath with a lungful of air when I had forced the boys back, now I could see a tendril of mist swirling in front of my face with even the slightest gasp or sigh. The ground, which had been almost swamp-like with mud earlier, now crackled and snapped with every step of the horse, a thin layer of ice having formed over the surface.

Moron.

It was, probably, only the plastic raincoats, worn by myself and Charger, that kept either of us from freezing to death, especially as a sudden cold snap caused the rain to begin freezing as it landed, covering any uncovered skin in a think layer of ice almost immediately. My hands, which were already a pale, sickly white, began to turn blue, and I realized suddenly that I would have to at least get under cover until the worst of the storm blew over or risk freezing to death. It didn't take much to lead Charger to a thick covering of pine trees. As I said, Charger was far smarter than I was proving to be, and would have headed there long before if not for my constant misguidance.

Imbecile.

I dismounted and pulled Charger under the branches of a tall pine, where the branches were so think that the needles covering the ground were barely wet. We hunkered down together in a niche formed by the trunk, each willing to share heat until the worst of the storm had passed. Which would, I was fairly certain, be soon, as this was a summer storm that had come down from the high mountains nearby, bringing with it a full day of torrential rains and terrible cold, but never more than that. It was difficult for most people to imagine how a cold front like this could simply fall off the mountain and come crashing into the slight valley below it, but I had grown up in the wilderness of these regions. I would have a much better chance of finding Duo once the storm had broken, assuming it wasn't already too late.

Dimwit.

Was it stupid of me, I wondered, to be worrying about Duo, even as I bled from the betrayal? Was it even worse that I could think of it as such? I mean, after all, I was the master and he was the slave. Shouldn't the prisoner always attempt to flee the guard? Even when the cage was gilded? Instead of feeling hurt that he had left me, shouldn't I feel proud that he had been this dedicated? Cocky, perhaps, but with a drive that I would have killed for on the front lines of battle. And yet, here I was, feeling as though I'd been stood up on an overly anticipated date.

Fool.

Charger whinnied and I pulled him closer, hoping to calm him. Charger wasn't particularly fond of bolting, but even the most good-natured horse could run in a storm like this. If I were honest, I'd admit that even I had the urge to run for the safety of the house. On a night like this, it was probably more common sense than cowardice that would prompt such actions. After all, only the most fool-hardy of blockheads would go out in the peak of a mountain storm with nothing but his horse and a radio. And, of course, having been out all day already looking for my runaway only added fatigue to the list of obstacles that I would have to overcome to even have a chance at finding Duo, if he were even alive. And then there was always the assumption that he would come back willingly with me, which seemed ridiculous in itself considering that he had run away to begin with. And were he to fight me, there was no guarantee that I could overcome him in the shape I was in. What if he killed me? Slim chance that it was, what would happen to the other boys? I could only hope that Une would prevent them from being taken back to Collar, but if it posed too much of a risk to my replacement for her to pull them out, then she would most likely let them go in favor of the mission. And all for Duo, who had wanted to be gone so much that he had risked his life to be away from me. There was another whinny as I continued to berate myself, and I pulled Charger closer as emotions riled in my bitter heart.

Idio-...

Wait.

I paused a moment, listening hard, and realized suddenly that Charger hadn't made a sound. So who…?

I lunged to my feet, pushing Charger aside and lunging deeper into the grove. That last neigh had been frantic and I called out, knowing that Bee would respond to my voice immediately in her panicked state. She called to me and I shoved through the branches, finally finding Bee tucked away under anther pine tree, similar to what Charger and I had just been under, with Duo tucked against her side.

There was blood running down his face.

It was the first thing I noticed as I approached his still, pale form. A glance at his forehead told me that the blood was superficial, coming from a small wound that had probably happened the same time he was knocked unconscious. But that was a slight worry, and even more important was the fact the he was barely shaking, even though the weather was frigid and he was wet from head to toe. Bee, laying behind him, was also just as wet, but at least neither of them were as soaked as Charger and I. The tree had sheltered them from most of the rain and, from the looks of it, had managed to save Duo's life. Of course, I'm sure Bee had played no small part in that feat either, seeing that Duo was unconscious and probably would have died with only his own body heat to support him. And yet, I had to wonder how he had managed to get into such a predicament.

But there was no time for such stray thoughts. Duo's life was still very much in jeopardy, and my quick movements now would decide if it remained or fled into the next life. I quickly moved over Bee, laying myself almost over top of Duo's lifeless form as I rested my cheek against his bluish lips, praying for breath.

It was there, but just barely managed to ghost across my face. We were in dire straights. Sparing no time, I pulled off my jacket and wrapped it around Duo's chest. It was more important to keep his upper body than his extremities. It wasn't cold enough for frostbite to be a concern, but it was still possible for Duo's core body temperature to drop to a dangerous or even lethal temperature.

The lack of shivering I felt as I pulled his body into my arms worried me, but it didn't surprise me. He had been outside all day, and slowly losing heat for at least several hours. We would have to be careful about warming him up too quickly. Duo's circulation had certainly caused the flow of blood to his heart to slow, and warming him too quickly could cause a massive surge of blood that was just as risky as hypothermia.

As a medic, all this ran through my mind even as I was scooping Duo into my arms and hoisting him onto Charger's back. Perhaps sensing my urgency, Charger accepted his burden gracefully, without shying away or stepping to the side. Once Duo was secure, I bent to check on Bee, who was already pushing herself off the ground. A quick glance told me that she was unharmed, and I gave her a quick rub on the nose in thanks. Her loyalty had saved Duo's life, when she could have easily abandoned him to return to her warm barn. Instead, she had chosen to protect him from the elements with her body, a noble feat of animal loyalty.

But I could only spare a moment for Bee, lest her sacrifice be in vain. I quickly mounted behind Duo on Charger, certain that Bee would follow me back to the house. It wasn't hard to lead Charger back to the house; actually, once he realized we were headed in the direction of the warm, dry barn it was harder to keep him below a dead run. I couldn't allow that, though, because the jostling would be bad for Duo, although I could feel the urge to bolt just as strongly as my horse. Still, I pulled out my radio and turned it on, certain that Wufei would be waiting on the other side.

Sure enough, the instant I flipped the radio to on my ears were filled with angry Mandarin curses.

"Wufei!"

"Zechs? You bastard! Are you okay?"

"I'm on my way back with Duo. Tell Sally to get ready for a hypothermia victim. Get Trowa ready to get the horses when I come in. They'll both need to be taken care of. Did you get everything?"

"Everything will be ready when you get here. How close are you?"

"About ten minutes. Over and out."

"Be careful," Wufei bid, then closed his line. His parting words warmed me, reminding me that help was only a few miles away. I sighed, resting my head against Duo's cold neck as he was pulled tight against my chest in an effort to share body heat. I was so tired, and so afraid that I had managed to fail everyone already. In that moment, with Duo pressed against me and clinging to life, with the cold rain beating against my back, and with Charger's hooves beating against the thick mud beneath me, I allowed myself to feel, just for an instant, all the pressures that I had previously ignored. It seemed that I would be crushed by the weight of it, and for a second I wished that someone would take it all away.

But then we were nearing the house, and it was time for action again. Trowa was standing in the yard, Quatre at the barn door, and Sally and Wufei in the house doorway. I could not let them see me falter. If I crumbled, we would all crumble.


	147. Zechs 146

As we approached the doorway, I reigned Charger in and slowed him to a walk, then jumped off his back without ever calling a full stop. Instead, I used Charger's momentum to propel me to the door.

In shows and movies, the doctor always asks questions and runs tests straight away, but in real life there wasn't time for any of that. Instead, Sally merely propelled me toward the downstairs bathroom, where a slightly warm shower was already running. I took the both of us in without hesitating, fully dressed and aware that I couldn't really get any more wet.

The water felt warm against my skin, which meant that it would be almost cold to anyone else. Still, it was warm enough to start Duo shivering convulsively, and cool enough to let him adjust. But there wasn't time to relax yet. In the next moment, Sally, who had followed us into the bathroom, was guiding me out of the shower. Another set of hands pulled Duo from my arms and I had to fight the urge to grab him back, and only seeing that Wufei was taking my burden allowed me to. Sally must have prepared Wufei well, for he instantly carried Duo into the medical room, laid him on the table, and began to undress him, with Sally stepping in to help him only a moment later. I watched them through the open doorway, not daring to step away from the bathroom wall for fear that my legs would give out.

Quatre came in as Sally and Wufei were pulling off Duo's shirt, with my jacket already lying lifelessly on the floor. Quatre's cheeks were red with cold, his green jacket throwing rivets of water on the floor as he quickly shucked it off and dropped it into a heap as he rushed to the bed beside Sally and Wufei.

"Is he going to be okay?" Quatre asked, his eyes wide with worry as he took in Duo's pale skin and blue lips.

"It's touch and go, but I think he'll be alright if we can get him warmed up. Here, you help me get Duo out of these clothes. Wufei, get Zechs out of those wet clothes and into something dry, then bring him back downstairs so I can keep an eye on him."

"Sally, I'm fine," I protested as Wufei moved away from Duo toward me. Wufei snorted.

"You'd say that even if you were flat on your back and frozen to the floor. Come on, superman, let's get you warmed up before you fall down," he teased, putting my arms over his shoulder and guiding me up the stairs. I don't think he realized just how worn out I was until he felt how much weight I couldn't help but put on him. By the time we reached the top of the stairs, Wufei was nearly dragging me. If he had been any bigger, or had I been any smaller, I have no doubt he would have picked me up and carried me to the room, and I wouldn't have had the energy to do a damn thing about it.

Once in the bedroom, I was ashamed, but not surprised, to find that my hands were shaking too hard to take off my clothes. Luckily enough, I was too tired to feel embraced as Wufei helped me undress and redressed me in loose sweat pants and a long sleeve sweater. I was glad that Wufei and I had already been intimate, otherwise I was certain I would have been mortified once I worked up the energy for it.

Dressing was pretty slow going, as Wufei was getting very little help from me, and what little help I did try to lend usually made things more difficult because of the uncontrollable shivers running through my body. All I wanted to do was pull Wufei to me, curl up in the middle of the bed, and sleep forever, but my worry for Duo would not allow that, so I didn't protest as Wufei pulled me to my feet and helped me downstairs to the couch in the den. Once there I dropped, unceremoniously, to the couch, where Wufei wrapped me in the thickest sleeping bag in the house.

"I love you," I whispered to him as he wrapped me tightly. Wufei chuckled.

"If you love me for a sleeping bag, what are you going to do when Quatre brings you your tea?" he teased.

"Tea? Oh, don't toy with my emotions, cruel sprite."

"Who's toying with what?" Quatre asked, entering with a tray of mugs. "I just have tea."

"Quatre, I would not be more pleased if that tray were filled with gold, diamonds, and the key to the city," I gushed as Quatre deposited the tray on the table.

"Well that's good, because we're not even in a city," he teased in response.

"Ah, right you are. Uh, Wufei? Could you do me a favor? Go check how Duo's doing, please."

"Of course," Wufei said, going directly into the adjacent room to check on Duo for me. I wasn't really concerned, because I honestly trusted Sally's skills, it was just… I couldn't help that nagging sense of worry. I had worked as a medic. I had scene men with close to nothing wrong with them fall over dead. I had seen situations of tranquility plunge into complete chaos for no reason. So… you must excuse me if I was just a teensy bit overprotective.

My worry was somewhat placated as Wufei departed, for I was sure that once Wufei had agreed to complete a task, not even savage grizzly bears and tornado winds would keep him from his mission. I was able to relax back against the couch cushions and close my eyes for a moment, until Quatre sat down beside me on the couch and reminded me of the awaiting tea. I opened my eyes and sat up straighter, only to find that my hands, though no longer shaking, just didn't have the strength to grip the cup. In the aftermath of a day full of terror and strain, I was completely helpless.

Luckily, Quatre was able to sense to my predicament, or perhaps he could merely see how drained I was, for he moved to sit on my lap and, resting his head on my shoulder. From that position, Quatre managed to feed me the tea, turning it into some kind of some kind of semi-erotic bonding moment that I have no idea how he managed with me three steps to the right of dead.

We spent several moments in silence, with my focus being entirely on the tea passing my lips and warming my body. It wasn't until the tea was gone and the warmth in my belly had permeated the rest of my body that I realized just how long it was taking Wufei to return with news of Duo.

"Wufei?" I called, pushing myself up and partially dislodging Quatre from my lap. "Wufei? What's going on?"

"Hold your horses," he called back, and I heard a shuffling of movement in the other room, then heavy footsteps. In another moment, Wufei entered, his arms full of blanket and one very cold teen, but I smiled as the long, wet braid falling from the mass of fabric. Quatre politely sacrificed his seat, and I tossed back the blanket and made room for Wufei to place Duo against me, then sat quietly as he wrapped the both of us in the blankets.

"He came around for a couple minutes in the other room, but he fainted again right after. Sally wants the both of you watched until your body temperatures are normal, so she suggested that we put you together."

"That's fine. Is she leaving soon?"

"She was packing up her things when I left."

"Would you mind showing her out and making sure she can get her car out of the mud? Take Quatre with you, just in case she needs a push. I'd offer to help you myself but…"

"As though Sally would let you make it past the door anyway. You move off of that couch and you'll find yourself sedated so fast your head will spin. You lay there, Quatre and I can show the good doctor out."

"Thank you," I sighed, letting my eyes fall closed. I was so tired, but the leftover adrenaline and emotions made sleep impossible, at least for now. Perhaps when Duo awoke I would be able to crash, but probably not before then.

As I stared at Duo, his head resting against my shoulder as his cool body lay against mine, tucked safely under the thick blankets and quickly regaining warmth, I couldn't help but think about how far we had come, and how far we had left to go. Even without his attempted escape, Duo was far from stable, and if I were honest I would have to blame only myself for not foreseeing this attempt. Was it really that farfetched, to imagine that a notorious escape artist might once again attempt to escape? Perhaps I was the one being delusional, for thinking I could given him enough that he wouldn't want to run from me. Was I fooling myself, to think that I could heal him? Or any of them?

But I had felt that we had been making progress. Things weren't perfect, of course, but we had been happy, hadn't we? Or perhaps I was the only one who had been happy. After all, these boys had been trained to make their masters happy. Perhaps I had merely allowed them to make me happy, without truly seeing how unhappy they all were in this gilded cage. Could that be it? It was the only explanation I could come up with for Duo's escape. Even if he and Heero had been fighting, how could he be willing to give up all this if he had really been as happy as I had thought he was? And if he was so miserable that he would risk death to get away from me, how could I try to keep him here?

But I couldn't let him go. Even if the boys weren't as happy as I had hoped they were, their life here with me was certainly better than anything they could hope for, either in Collar or on the run. So I was stuck. I couldn't let him go, and he wouldn't let me close enough to fix it.

I sighed again, belatedly realizing that I had begun to stroke Duo's hair. I combed his bangs away from his face gently, feeling an unexpected surge of tenderness towards him.

"Such problem you cause for me, little demon," I whispered, a sigh in my voice and a half-smile on my face.

It was only then that I noticed the hint of violet peaking between almost-closed lashes, and the hot tear creeping down Duo's cheek.


	148. Zechs 147

"Such problems you cause for me, little demon," I whispered, a sigh in my voice and a half-smile on my face.

It was only then that I noticed the hint of violet peaking between almost-closed lashes, and the hot tear creeping down Duo's cheek.

"Duo? Are you alright?" I wondered, my hand immediately floating to his neck to check his pulse. I had to stifle the urge to call for Sally, knowing that they were already outside and too far away to hear me. Duo's pulse, I found, was fine, and his temperature was good, so I could only assume that he was feeling the aftereffects of his near-death experience.

"It's alright, little one. Shh. It's okay," I soothed, rubbing his back, but Duo merely shook his head and continued to cry. I pulled him closer to me and was surprised when he fell into my arms, completely without his usual fear of touch.

"Please," he begged, and the sound tore at my heart as he pressed his face into my shoulder. "Please, don't give up on me. I'm trying. I really am, honest. Please…" he begged, then fell into a sobbing fit.

"Shh," I cooed, pulling him to me and wrapping my arms tightly around him. It felt as though a tight brace around my heart had finally fallen off. It was like I could breathe again. "It's alright. I know you're trying. I won't give up, I promise."

Could he have possibly known how much his words meant to me? Could he somehow have, like Quatre, sensed my mental state? But that was impossible, for Duo was certainly the least sensitive of my boys, which only made his admonition that much more sincere, and that much sweeter as well.

"I know," he gasped between sobs, "I know I'm a pain, and that I don't deserve any of this, and that I always screw everything up… but I'm trying! I'm trying really hard! I just…. I can't…" he gasped before the sobs overtook him once again. I merely held him to me and road out the storm, glad for this breakthrough, but even gladder that he was alive.

"It's alright," I told him once he had calmed enough to hear me. "I know you're trying. Just relax. You're safe now, but you need to rest."

"A-alright," he sighed, going limp against my side. "Damn, I'm cold," he said softly, some of his humor returning as he wiped the tears off his face. "Probably look like some kinda whore, snuggling up to you like this," he teased nervously, but staying against me anyway. He only rested for a moment, though, before tensing up again and asking a question that I had expected to hear since he woke up. "Where's Heero?"

"He's upstairs, sleeping," I replied. However, instead of getting upset, as I had expected, Duo looked dejected, lowering his eyes to look at the floor beside us.

"So he's still mad, huh?"

"At Zechs, possibly," Wufei commented as he entered, slightly damp but smiling. "It's good to see you awake, Duo. Heero will be very pleased, when he comes around. Zechs had him sedated."

"Well what did you want me to do? I couldn't let him charge into the wilderness to freeze to death!" I defended.

"And what is that you did? I think you've perfectly described your actions once Heero was asleep."

"I didn't freeze to death," I defended grumpily.

"Despite your best efforts," Wufei teased as he took a seat across the room.

"Where's Quatre?" I asked softly as I watched Duo's eyelids begin to droop.

"He went to help Trowa with the horses."

"Is something wrong? Is one of them hurt?"

"No, of course not. Trowa just wanted to make sure they didn't get sick, so he hooked up a heater in the barn and decided to stay out there until the horses were totally dry and warm."

"That's good. You should… mmm… give him a… a raise in allowance… or something…" I slurred, feeling my eyes getting heavy. Wufei chuckled, then I heard him get up from his chair.

"Why don't we talk about this tomorrow, when you're coherent?" he said, tucking the blanket around myself and Duo.

"But… Heero… someone should tell him," I protested.

"He won't wake until tomorrow anyway. The morning is soon enough. Now get some sleep," he said, and I was just too tired to do anything else.

I hadn't meant to fall asleep, but once it happened I was helpless to come out of it. I have no doubt that, if left on my own, I would have slept until well after noon. Unfortunately, that fate was not to be, and I found myself awakened by movement only a few hours after sunrise.

The scene I opened my eyes to was intense, and left me feeling like something of a spectator in my own home. Heero was kneeling in front of the couch, staring at Duo as though he didn't believe what he was seeing. Like he couldn't fathom that Duo was still alive.

Duo, meanwhile, must have awoke a few moments before me, because his eyes were locked on Heero's like a frightened sparrow. It looked like he would have preferred to fly out of his own skin rather than face Heero right then, but I have no doubt Heero would have pounced on him like a cat had he tried. It seemed that the emotions that had caused his sedation last night had been in no way reduced with a good night's sleep, and Heero had awoke in the same state he had fallen asleep in.

I could almost feel eternity drifting past as the two stared at each other, their eyes locked in a battle between fear and yearning. What could be going through their minds, I wondered. Certainly Duo was trying to decide if Heero was still angry about whatever little tiff they had been in, although the rest of us were aware that Heero probably didn't even remember the fight after all that had happened, let alone to still be angry. Heero, meanwhile, still seemed to be trying to wrap his head around Duo's presence. The moment stretched out between them, and I felt a strangely powerful need to remain perfectly still, so as not to disturb it. It seemed, just as Duo and I had made some sort of progress last night, here too the pair was about to take a leap of faith into each other. I worried that, were I to disturb them, they would both fall into oblivion.

It was Heero who broke the moment by finally accepting that Duo was neither a ghost nor ghoul. A small, pained gasp of such intensity that I cannot described it slipped past his lips, and for a moment I could hear just a hint of the emotions roiling inside him. In the next instant, he snatched Duo from the couch and pulled him into an embrace, like the ocean pulling in the tide. Could it be that he still feared that Fate would snatch Duo away from him, even after all she had done already?

Duo, on the other hand, allowed himself to be pulled into the embrace, his body limp with shock even as his shoulders were coiled tight with tension. His eyes were wide and uncomprehending, as though he too was struggling to fathom what was happening. As Heero's arms came around him, he let out a desperate gasp, almost identical in intensity to Heero's earlier expulsion. His shoulders relaxed and he melted against Heero, as though that simple breath had released all the tension from his body and all the anxiety from his soul.

Duo was pulled from the couch by their embrace and toppled to the floor. If they had been thinking in a manner at all similar to coherent thy would have realized that I could not possibly have stayed asleep through that, but I had no worries that they would realize it. I contemplated, for a moment, getting up and walking out of the room, just to see if they'd notice. An almost certainty that they wouldn't kept me in my place, along with a loathing to risk disturbing such a touching scene.

"Don't ever leave me again," Heero whispered frantically.

"I'm so sorry," Duo replied just as desperately. "For everything. I never meant to make you worry."

"I thought I'd lost you," Heero said, his voice thick with emotion.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean it," Duo replied, resting his head against Heero's shoulder. They were quiet for a long time then, just holding each other.

Actually, the two of them seemed perfectly happy to bask in the feeling of the other's arms for hours, but I was beginning to get impatient. My body was making it painfully clear that I had neither eaten nor urinated in at least ten hours, and it was not pleased. Unfortunately, getting up would alert the two lovebirds that I had been spying, so I would have to wait for a convenient noise to "wake me up."

Fortunately, someone upstairs came to my rescue, and I heard the sound of feet coming down the stairs.


	149. Wufei 148

I may never have been more angry at anyone in my life than I was when I found that Zechs was missing. How dare he tell us to stay put, even sedate Heero to keep him from recklessly dashing into the storm to find Duo, and then do the same damn thing himself? Hypocrite! Fool! How dare he protect us, then risk his own skin without a thought?

Of course, not all of my anger stemmed from the fact that Zechs, apparently, believed that I and the rest of the slaves were weak. Mostly, and I was loathe to admit it, I was angry because I was worried. I knew the likelihood was high that Zechs would suffer the same fate as Duo, but I could not allow myself to even think of the repercussions that would have for the rest of us. But… more than that, Zechs was a good man, and a person that I could, without feeling ill, manage to call a friend, even a lover. More than worrying for our sake, I was worried for his sake.

But then, how mad could I be when he managed not only to come back, and not only to come back with Duo, but to come back with Duo still alive. Mostly frozen, I'll grant you, but alive and intact none the less.

It was a day of high emotions, for everyone but especially for me. I was the one Heero came to when he found that Duo was missing, and I was the one to realize that Duo had taken Bee. Once Heero was sedated, I was the one that discovered, heart wrenchingly, that Zechs had gone back into the storm after Duo. And I was the one, most of all, left to wait by the radio with the faint hope that Zechs, before he stumbled into a landslide or succumbed to hypothermia, might turn his radio back on and call for help. But I was also the one that first heard Zechs' voice, saying that they were both alive and coming back in. I was the first one Sally told that Duo would be fine, and I was the one who got to carry him into Zechs' worried arms. Emotionally, as well as physically, it was one of my most trying days, and I hadn't had the energy to be angry by the end, nor had I the will left.

I slept in the next morning and didn't wake up until nearly nine. When I did finally awaken, I immediately went to check on Heero. I found, unsurprisingly, that Heero was already awake, and I was fairly certain that I knew where he was. With a half-smile, I exited the room, checked on Quatre and Trowa, both still sound asleep, and descended the stairs.

Heero, as expected, was in the living room, clinging to Duo as though he would be snatched away at any moment. As I entered, the two seemed startled to see me, as though they had been in their own little world. Zechs, it seemed, had been sleeping until I entered, but I noticed, as he looked at me and smiled in an almost relieved fashion, that his eyes were far too alert for someone who had just awakened. Still, it seemed far more likely that Zechs had been afraid of disturbing Heero and Duo's reunion than that he was spying, so I didn't mention it to the enthusiastic pair. I'm not sure they would have listened at the time anyway.

"Feeling better?" I asked Duo politely.

"Well I couldn't possibly feel any worse than I did last night."

"On the contrary," I replied, "I'm sure you'd feel a lot worse if you were dead."

"Or a lot better, depending on how you look at it," Zechs interjected, then climbed to his feet and stretched. His cotton night clothes were wrinkled from sleep and his shirt slipped upward as he stretched his hands over his head, exposing a feast of well-muscled abs. It was a mouthwatering view, and I had to turn away to keep my blush from showing.

"Wufei? If you're up anyway, would you mind ordering breakfast? I don't think anyone will feel like cooking today," he said, yawning and flopping back to the couch. "Just get six servings of whatever they're having. The number is beside the phone. Thanks."

I nodded and padded off to the kitchen, glad for the excuse to get away.

It wasn't that I was a pervert, and it wasn't even that I was a prude, although I was probably closer to the latter than the former. It was just that I hadn't had sex since Zechs and I had gotten together several days ago, and, as a normal teenager, I was beginning to feel the stress. Not that we all weren't feeling the stress. Usually, slaves were asked to be intimate fairly often with fellow slaves, both for the viewing of their master and to keep their skills sharp. Zechs, though, had instilled no such program, and except for sporadic nights with the Master, all of us had been celibate for several weeks. Not that Zechs wasn't… masculine enough for us, for he actually had a normal or even vibrant sex life, simply that we had to split that sex life five ways, and one-fifth a normal sex life was certainly not what we were accustomed to.

But it wasn't only that either, because I was used to having a slim to non-existent sex life, for I only ever slept with the Owner or those he ordered me to bed with, both of which were considered rare by most slaves' standards. So perhaps, more than anything else, it was finally meeting someone that I might want to have sex with that was sparking this uncharacteristic lust within me. Or maybe puberty had finally taken its toll.

I managed to order breakfast without embarrassing myself, calling for five deluxe breakfasts, five sides of fruit, a box of donuts, a pitcher of orange juice and a pitcher of apple juice. At the end, I wasn't sure if I had ordered too much, or too little.

Once breakfast was ordered, I remembered the medicine Sally had left last night, so I grabbed a spoon and headed to the medical room. Duo hadn't seemed sick, of course, or Sally wouldn't have left, but she had said a good dose of antibiotics was in order, especially after being exposed to the elements for so long. She recommended the same for Zechs, but cautioned that he might be a little stubborn about it. I was pretty sure I knew how to handle him, though.

"Duo?" I called as I entered the room. "Sally left some medicine for you to take."

"Aw man," Duo complained loudly. "Look, I'm fine! I don't need any gross stuff!"

"Duo, take your medicine. I'm not going to have you getting sick because you're stubborn," Zechs said decisively.

"I'm glad you think that way, because Sally left a dose for you as well," I told Zechs as I gave Duo his dose.

"What!" Zechs sputtered.

"Serves you right!" Duo crowed, once he had finished his own spoonful of the thick purple liquid.

"Sally is such a worrier, Wufei. I'm absolutely fine."

"You know, she left suppositories of the same, just in case you decided to be stubborn," I warned, smirking at him. Zechs glared at me, but I could tell from his eyes that he'd been defeated. Behind me, Duo laughed and I thought I heard Heero snicker, but it could have been my imagination.

I refilled the spoon and offered it to Zechs, who glared as he accepted it into his mouth. Instead of merely clearing the spoon and letting it go, though, Zechs kept a firm hold on the spoon with his mouth, staring up at me as his lips hovered only a few millimeters from my hand. It was… extremely erotic, especially when he dragged his mouth down the length of the spoon before he finally pulled his head back and swallowed. I shivered, feeling all heat in my body pool in my cheeks… and my pants. Zechs gave me a knowing smile, and I had to suppress the urge to bolt from the room.

I was saved by the doorbell, at which point I finally gave in to the urge to bolt and ran for the door. I took several bags from the familiar deliver boy, set up breakfast, and woke up Quatre and Trowa.

Breakfast was a strangely quiet, sober affair. I think duo was just too tired to create a ruckus, he seemed to be barely staying awake at the table. The rest of us, meanwhile, were waiting for some sign of Zechs' intent toward Duo's punishment. Would he be sold? Beaten? Would Zechs lame him? Most masters would kill a slave who tried to run, and many would injure the slave's feet to keep them from trying to run again. I doubted that Zechs would do anything so brutal, but laming him might actually be kinder to Duo than selling him, which was a more likely option.

But… after all the effort Zechs had put into helping Duo and saving Duo, would he really waste all that effort by getting rid of Duo? Would he risk Heero's well-being by separating him from Duo? But what else could he do? This act couldn't go unpunished, but I couldn't see anything that Zechs could do that wouldn't set back everyone's progress.

When breakfast was finished, which was signaled by the disappearance of all the food, Zechs rose and asked everyone to meet in the den. With a sense of dread we all stood and followed, except for Duo, who seemed somewhat oblivious to the agreed-upon impending doom. Regardless, Heero was tense enough for the both of them and I felt sympathy for him as we entered the room.


	150. Heero 149

The morning after my reunion with Duo should have been joyous, but instead it was frightening and filled with dread. I couldn't help wishing Master would just pass down his sentence, as much as I abhorred the verdict. But I didn't think anything could be worse than the limbo I was currently facing, even if I knew life without Duo would be hell.

I couldn't help imagining life after Duo, no matter how much I tried to stop myself. Perhaps it was a side effect of the drugs I had been given, this uncontrollable perversity of my mind. Would I hate Master, I wondered. How could I, when I so thoroughly understood his decision? Would I hate myself? It was, after all, my duty to keep Duo safe, and I had failed miserably. I had failed Master in letting him escape, failed Duo in hurting him so badly that he would need to escape, and failed myself in losing Duo, who was so precious to me.

Most of all, I feared I would come to hate Duo. And yet, how could he abandon me so easily? After everything I had done for him, he had left without a second thought. What of me? What of the rest of us, those who would be left behind to face the consequences of his actions? Did our friendship mean so little to him?

No emotion showed on my face during breakfast, and none of these thoughts were allowed past my lips, but I clung to Duo's hand despite myself, and several times he had to remind me not to hold so tightly. Perhaps that was the only proof I needed that I would not be able to hate Duo, for even as angry as I was with him, I was barely able to release him.

At the end of breakfast, Master instructed us all to meet him in the living room. As a group, we slaves rose and walked toward the living room, each of us walking as though the floor was made of mud and our feet were being stepped down. In the hall, for just a moment, I cast a glance at the front door and contemplated shoving Duo toward it and telling him to run. I could hold the others off long enough for him to reach the barn, I was sure of it. Once and horseback, and without the rain this time, he had a good chance of making it passed the edge of the property. From there he would have to leave Bee and rush for the city, where he could hide until his pursuers gave up by dressing as a drifter and staying in the sewers.

All this flashed through my mind in the span of a step, beginning at the lift of my foot and being dismissed as ludicrous by the time I set it back down. Wasn't that what had gotten us into this problem in the first place? How would Duo survive on his own in a strange city? What would possess me to think that Collar would ever stop looking for him? And how could I even dream of betraying Master, after all he had done for me?

Duo must have sensed my distress, because he paused in the hall and peered at my face. Looking at his trusting violet eyes, the urge to weep overcame me, and I was barely able to suppress it.

"What's the deal, 'Ro?" Duo wondered. I could only be amazed by his naivety. "Are you sick?"

"I'm fine," I replied, turning away from him because it hurt too much to see him. "Let's go. Master will be angry if we're late."

"Yeah," Duo sighed, falling in to step beside me. "I guess I've pissed him off enough already. I'd better be on my best behavior."

There wasn't much to say to that, so I merely grunted and led him into the room, where everyone else was already seated. With all the slaves on the couch and Master in the armchair, it seemed almost like a courtroom, complete with judge and jury. Only the tray of tea Quatre had laid out kept the room from seeming like some kind of prison, and even then it was barely able to soften the aura of repression. By leading Duo in, it seemed like I was bailiff, and Duo the accused. It was such a strong sense that I couldn't stifle the urge to put Duo behind me, inserting myself between Master and Duo once again.

Luckily, Master wasn't annoyed by this protective act. Instead, he chuckled in a half amused, half annoyed way. "Sit down, Heero," he commanded gently. I nodded once, putting aside my foolish instincts, and sat on the loveseat opposite Master, with Duo beside me.

Perhaps we were both on trial, my drug-induced sense of humor wondered perversely. I would have growled at it, but I was fairly certain such and action would make Master question my sanity and the level of stress I was under. Certainly my stress level was high enough to warrant me some erratic behavior?

Then again, Master was still acting normal, and his was certainly far higher than mine. As I watched him, waiting for a sign of what was to come, I couldn't help but notice the faint stress lines on his forehead, nor the exhausted slump of his shoulders. There was a faint pallor to his skin that was imperceptible to all but the closest scrutiny which made him look somewhat ill. His eyes, which were always full of gentle fire, looked somehow dim and burned out. There was a weakness about him, just for an instant, that made me wonder if I was trying to defend the right person. If I were protecting Duo, who would protect Zechs?

In the next moment, though, the weakness left him, and I once again had the urge to lunge in front of Duo as Master took a deep breath and turned to the task at hand.

"I think we all know just how serious this is," he began, his tone callous and his eyes like cold steel. "Duo, not only could your actions have hurt yourself or any of the others, your recklessness put everything we've worked so hard for in jeopardy. As such, your punishment will be severe, because such actions must never be repeated. Do you have anything to say that might excuse your actions?" Master asked. Duo sighed in response, then untangled his limbs from me and stood. Contrary to my expectations, he was neither nervous nor enraged. Had he given up so easily? I could only watch in confusion as he calmly, perhaps even abashedly, began to speak.

"Look, before you even say anything else, I want you to know that I'm sorry. I know what I did was stupid. I don't know what I was thinking. Well, actually I do know what I was thinking, but it was stupid. But, anyway, I'm really sorry. I'll never do it again, I promise," he finished. His tone was solemn, but did he really believe that Master could just excuse everything he had done because Duo was sorry? Because he promised not to do it again? Even Master seemed confused and annoyed by this, and he frowned before regaining his composure and replying in a even tone.

"Be that as it may, Duo, there still needs to be some kind of punishment for your actions."

"So… what? Like, should I wash your car or something? Do all the cleaning for a week? No TV for a month? What do you want? I said I was sorry," Duo replied, frowning even though his tone was that of a sulking child.

"Duo, I think you're underestimating the severity of this situation…"

"And I think you're making a big deal out of this," Duo responded.

"I'm sorry, Duo," Master growled as he rose to his feet, "but when one of my slaves attempts to run away I do think it's a big deal!"

It was the first time anyone had said those words out loud since Duo had been found. I had known hearing it put so bluntly would have had some kind of affect on Duo and I expected him to flinch and sit down. I didn't expect for his mouth to fall open and his eyes to go wide in a mixture of fury and shock.

"You think I tried to run away!" he shouted in a voice too loud to be a question and too shocked to be a statement.

It was Master's turn to look shocked and confused now. So shocked, in fact, that his usual eloquence failed him and he was only able to utter a startled, "Didn't you?"

At last the usual Shinigami appeared and Duo rained fire and brimstone upon our heads, spitting acid and glaring daggers all the while.

"You all thought I ran away?" Duo accused, looking both enraged and hurt. I realized, suddenly, that the idea that he hadn't tried to escape had never crossed my mind. All that time that I had been looking for him, it had been somewhere in the back of my head that I had to keep him from escaping for the sake of Master. That I had to bring back Duo to protect Master, Master's reputation, and Master's slaves, even as I worried for Duo's safety as well. But would I have tried so hard to save Duo if I hadn't been saving Master as well? After all, I felt that Duo had betrayed me when he ran, but did that add or detract from my resolve to find him? Uncertainty and guilt welled up inside me until I felt physically ill. And Duo's tirade continued, only adding to my guilt.

"What?" he spat, "The street-rat can't be trusted outside? The stupid sex-slave must have thought he could run off just as soon as our backs were turned? Ooh, who forgot to tie up Duo? We'd better put him in a gad damned cage or he'll just run off again! You think I don't have any loyalty at all? Or, baring that, any common sense? No, you assholes, I didn't run away! I got thrown off my damn horse and almost died!"

"Alright, alright, Duo, that's enough, calm down," Master interjected, trying to placate the irate slave.

"It's not alright!" Duo spat. "It's not alright that you don't trust me for even a day, you asshole!"

"Duo, Master's right," Quatre defended in a show of unusual boldness. His weekend trip with Master seemed to have added tremendously to his affection for Master. "Why don't you sit down and have some tea? It might help settle your nerves," Quatre added, but Duo would not be calmed. Instead, he turned his ire on Quatre.

"Oh! Are you sure you trust me not to gouge your eyes out with the spoon?" Duo hissed. "Can we let me so close to the table, I might break it and beat you to death with the pieces! After all, you all think I'm a wretch anyway! You…!"

At that point, Duo was unable to finish his sentence, as Wufei rose silently and knocked him to the floor.


	151. Wufei 150

Duo was making an ass of himself, I realized suddenly.

In the next moment, Duo was on the ground looking up, holding his cheek in his hand and looking completely bewildered. Meanwhile, my right fist was on my left side, still clenched, and stinging like a bitch. I was upset with myself for this sudden loss of control, but not surprised by my own show of temper. Duo was, after all, being an ass.

Looking down at Duo, who was on his rump, holding his cheek and staring at me with a stunned, hurt expression that told me clearly that he had no idea why I'd struck me. I felt my temper boil again, but managed to restrain myself from physical violence.

"It seems that you believe the efforts of your Master and fellow slaves are less worthy because they were under the impression that you had run away," I told him coldly, amazed at how level my voice remained. "I feel obligated to inform you of just how wrong you are. Firstly, I must remind you of how likely it was that you would run away. After all, you hate Master Zechs. We are all well aware of that. And wouldn't it seem suspicious, under the best of circumstances, that you are found missing a mere day after he leaves? Then, even overlooking your intense dislike of your master, can you blame us for suspecting the notorious Shinigami, who has escaped slavery more times than Collar would like to remember, of escaping once again?"

"But maybe you're right, perhaps we did jump to a conclusion, albeit the most logical one. And yet, regardless of your assumed infraction, what was our response? Heero, immediately, tried to cover for you even though he believed that you had abandoned him. He even managed to convince the rest of us to join him in trying to cover for you by finding you before Master returned. Are these efforts worth your scorn?"

"Then again, we did fail at keeping your transgression from Master, so perhaps it is most noteworthy to look at Master's actions, once he found that you were missing. Most Masters would merely alert their soldiers of the slave's absence and give them leave to shoot to kill. And, while I am certain that Zechs informed his guards that you were missing, I am equally certain that no orders to kill or harm were issued. Especially since Zechs immediately set to the task of finding you, putting his own efforts and resources toward finding you. And even when it became clear that you would surely die of exposure instead of making it off the property, at which time all fear of shame from you escape would have been extinguished, Zechs still risked his life to find you. Now, if you still think all of this is worthy of your scorn, stand up. I'll gladly put you on the floor again, so that you may better contemplate you ungrateful words," I promised. By this time Duo finally looked adequately ashamed of himself, his shoulders hunched and his eyes trained on the floor.

"Wufei, that's enough," Zechs said, tugging me to sit beside him on the small couch. I worried, for a moment, that I might have overstepped my bounds and angered him, but instead I received a quick and almost grateful smile for my efforts. It was only for a moment, but it was enough to tell me that Zechs wasn't angry, before he turned his attention back to Duo. "Now, if you don't mind, I'd like to know what you were doing with Bee in the middle of the forest."

Duo managed to look even more uncomfortable than before, if that's possible. He wouldn't look Zechs in the eyes, but neither would he deny the request. Reluctantly, he began talking.

"I guess you probably know by now, but me 'n Heero had a fight while you were away," he said, then sighed. "I was just so mad. With myself, with Heero, with everything. I just… I needed to get away. I was afraid that I'd say something stupid or do something stupid, so I thought the best way to clear my head would be to take a ride. It never occurred to me that the stupid thing I was trying to avoid doing was the same as riding Bee off in the middle of the night without telling anyone where I was going or when I'd be back. It even started raining, and I still didn't get the hint. It wasn't until a bolt of lightening made Bee rear that I realized just how stupid I had been. By the time I hit the ground I had finally realized what a stupid mistake I had made, but by then it was too late. I was unconscious, and damn close to freezing to death."

"Duo, that is without a doubt the most idiotic thing you've done so far," Zechs told him, a look of exasperation on his face. "First of all, you're not even experienced to ride after dark even with a chaperone, let alone by yourself. Secondly, you should know better than to ride Bee in the rain, even without the lightening. Do you know how easy it would be for her to slip in the mud and hurt herself or you?" Zechs lectured. "However… I must tell you, taking Bee out was still far less stupid than trying to run away would have been. You will still be punished, have no doubt," Zechs assured him severely, "but I think it can wait until we've all rested a bit more. And so, I'm ordering everyone back to bed."

"That's an excellent idea," I told him, rising and offering him my hand. "You first."

The surprised and confused look on Zechs' face was almost comical. I suppose it never struck him that we would assume that his command pertained to himself as well. Perhaps it said something about just how tired he really was, that he couldn't see just how desperately he needed to sleep. Regardless, I and the others could see that he needed to go back to bed more than anyone else, and we would not rest until he saw it as well.

"Ah… that's not what I meant. I still need to check in with my guards…"

"You did that this morning."

"…and the horses need tended to…"

"Trowa did that as soon as he woke up."

"…and my paperwork is piling up…"

"Enough already. Your papers can wait one day if it means you'll live to see another. You're out of excuses," I told him sternly. It earned me a glare and a huff, but I could tell from his eyes that he was quickly losing ground. "You know none of us will rest well knowing that you're pushing yourself this hard,' I told him in a softer tone, and finally saw defeat in his eyes.

"You win, you win," he said as he held up his hands in a placating manner. "I guess a little more sleep won't kill me."

"More like save you," I said under my breath as I herded Zechs up the stairs. The others followed, quiet and subdued, even Duo. I hoped I hadn't gone too far with him, but I just hadn't been able to take his stubbornness any longer. And, as I watched Zechs struggle to hide the soreness in his muscles as he trudged up the stairs, I couldn't quite regret my harsh words.

Once in the bedroom, Zechs literally fell into bed, facedown with his face buried in a pillow, giving only a grunt of effort and a sigh of satisfaction. I chuckled at him as I passed by, headed instead into the master bathroom. Inside I located a jar of soothing ointment. Now all I had to do was convince my stubborn Master to hold still long enough to let me apply it.

"Wufei? What are you doing in there?" Zechs called, his voice muffled by the pillow.

"What does one usually do in a bathroom?" I teased in response.

"You left the door open, so I knew you weren't doing that. You're such a prude about that stuff," he said chuckling. I snorted. I had never considered myself particularly prudish… merely more refined than others.

"You're simply a barbarian, that's all,' I replied. "Now hold still."

"Why? What are you…? Ack! Shit, that's cold! What the hell is that?"

"It's for your muscles," I told him patiently. His shirt was bunched around his shoulders and I doubted that I could persuade him to take it off.

"My muscles are fine."

"You're so full of shit," I responded. Zechs grunted in surprise at my crudeness, but actually acquiesced enough to remove his shirt for me.

"Perhaps I am just a bit sore," he admitted with a smile. "Getting old, maybe," he joked.

"Oh, I'm sure that's what it is. Not the marathon riding that you did yesterday or anything, I'm sure it's your age," I teased back as I finished his massage. Once I was done, I returned the ointment to the bathroom.

Returning to the bedroom, I hesitated in the doorway to take in the sight before me. Zechs was still on his stomach on the bed, his arms and legs splayed out around him, completely relaxed and unprotected. He had given everything he had last night, poured all that he was into protecting those he cared about. It made something inside me swell with pride, even as staring at his almost nude form caused a swelling of a different kind. It was difficult not to be allured by those planes of golden skin, or the way the muscles in his back ripped and flexed as he breathed. His hair was fanned out over the pillow so that none of his face was visible, moving gently in time with his breathing. He was, to put it plainly, stunningly beautiful, and I decided in an instant that I had to have him once again. I wanted him above me, pouring himself into me.

That decided, I padded softly to the bed and slid in beside him, determined to spring my seduction on him. I had just managed to press myself against and begin kissing his neck when he began to snore. I was so startled that for a full minute I just stared at him.

"Well… damn," I muttered to myself, knowing that I didn't have the heart to wake him only to fulfill my carnal pleasures.

I sighed, resigning myself to another night of unfulfilled desires, and contented myself to curl up against Zechs. It wouldn't kill me, I reminded myself, life could be far worse than a few weeks of celibacy.

And besides… there was always tomorrow.


	152. Duo 151

What a day of ups and downs. First a huge fight with Heero, then my near-death horse-back ride, and finally my little warm and fuzzy scene Wufei style, which was considerably less warm and kind of prickly. By the time Zechs called for naptime, I had taken about all I could in the emotional upheavals department.

Unfortunately, I could feel Heero's eyes on me as we walked up the stairs, telling me that he had something important to say. It was a battle of the wills, almost, as he just as easily read my posture, saying, "Leave me alone. I can't take anymore." I wanted to throw my hands in the air and ask for mercy. Anything to keep me from feeling any more.

And… it really wasn't that I was feeling too badly about my actions that kept me from wanting to talk. I mean, of course I was feeling bad, I had been a complete jackass to everyone who had tried to save my life. I felt like the biggest loser in the world, but… damn if I didn't feel like a loved and accepted loser at the same time. They had risked everything to save me, even though I was stupid and even though saving me wouldn't help them in the least. They had given everything they had to find me. Everything. For me. That had never happened before.

Which was why I felt that I was nearly full to the brim. Good or bad, I just didn't think I could take any more emotion.

Too bad Heero didn't get the memo. When we entered the bedroom, I felt him come up behind me, then slip his arms around my waist. I could feel his breath on my ear as he gently kissed the junction between my shoulder and my neck.

What the hell?

"Heero, what are you doing?" I wondered, slightly pissed even as I shivered in reaction to his kiss.

"I was worried about you," he replied, which didn't answer my question at all, but it did send a stab of guilt the whole way down my body.

"I'm sorry," I whispered to him. "I never… I mean, I was mad, but I never meant for this to happen. I just..."

"Shh," he soothed, "It wasn't your fault," he told me, which left me wondering who in the hell's fault he thought it was, but I didn't get time to ask as he pushed me to the bed, allowed me to turn to face him, and crawled into my lap, kissing me deeply as he got settled and stopping only to come up for air.

Yesterday, I would have fucked him in a heartbeat. I would have had my pants off so fast they probably would have caught fire from the friction of being jetted down my legs. But yesterday I was an asshole, and everything that had happened since yesterday made me want to finally stop being an asshole and start being as great a guy as all the others were turning out to be. Which made me ask, in my own eloquent style, what he was doing.

"What the hell has gotten into you?"

"You, ideally," he replied, giving me a smirk that was all sex.

There was a little voice inside my head going, "Shit, dude, this is awesome! Look at him! He's the sexiest thing on this planet, and he's crawling all over you! This is going to be so hot! You have got to get in there and screw him silly!"

I just barely managed not to punch that guy's lights out, and knowing that he was me might have been the only thing that kept me from trying. Realizing that even now, after all this, a part of me was still just seeing Heero and the others as playthings that would soon be left behind made my physically sick, especially now that they'd proven they were in for the long haul. It was enough to make me push Heero back, even when he seemed bent on making me as horny as possible.

"Heero, this isn't like you. What are you doing?"

"You, if you'd start cooperating," he growled, but the dirty pun seemed strange and forced coming from his mouth. It seemed so unlike him, and even a little desperate in the way he said it. His tone, if nothing else, made me certain that this wasn't right.

"Damn it, Heero, get the fuck off! And don't even try to turn that into a pun, because it sounds weird when you say it," I told him, pushing him off of me and climbing to my feet. I felt bad about my harsh words, especially when Heero turned away from me with a hurt look on his face, but it wasn't so long ago that I would have been selfish enough to take what he was offering, and I was worried that the temptation would be too much for my new-found good nature. So, instead of risking a backslide, I got some space between us before facing Heero again. I was calmer the second time, sitting beside him on the bed, just out of arm's reach.

"What's going on here?" I asked him softly even though he wouldn't look at me. "The last time I tried to kiss you, you decked me. Now you want screw right down the hall from Zechs? What's the deal?"

"Nothing," he muttered sourly, his eyes never meeting mine as he quickly fled toward his own bed. "It was stupid. I apologize for making you uncomfortable. It won't happen again."

"Now there's were you're wrong," I told him, grabbing his wrist and pulling him back to the bed. He allowed it, more out of surprise than anything, I think. "Unless you tell me explicitly that you have no interest in me, I will continue to pursue you without remorse."

"But… then why won't you…" Heero wondered, confused.

"It's not because I don't want you, that's for damn sure," I told him, finally getting him to meet my eyes. "But I want to know that you actually want me as well."

"Of course I want you," Heero said, glaring in annoyance. "I offered, didn't I?"

"Then why were you so adamant that we screw right now? Why can't it wait until tomorrow? And why this sudden change? Why is it okay for us to have sex now, but it wasn't before?"

"Because," Heero said harshly, turning away from me again. "Because I realized something while you were gone, possibly dead in that storm. I realized that I need Master, but I can't live without you. I won't… I won't deny you anything that I have the power to give, just don't… don't leave like that again."

And there it was. It wasn't sex, or lust, or even love. It was payment. He was buying my cooperation with his body. Whatever I wanted, no matter what it cost him, he would give me to keep me around. I was a mission to him, a job that he hadn't managed to complete, and now he was trying to rectify his error. If anything, it was guilt that brought him to me.

And what about the cost to him? Heero certainly wasn't a prude, but he wasn't a sexual being either. What had it cost him, to openly whore himself like that? And what if Zechs found out? Could he really stand his precious master's anger, or worse, his disappointment?

Which was really at the root of the problem, I realized with a sudden clarity. I was bitter and jealous at Heero's relationship with Zechs, because Heero loved him. It stirred up painful memories of my own master-slave relationship and made me jealous that his had lasted so long and gone so well, while mine had been rocky and short-lived. More than that, I was jealous of Zechs for winning Heero's love and not appreciating it. How could he need more slaves, when he had someone as perfect Heero totally devoted to him? How dare he think he deserved more, or even that much!

But, regardless of my own emotions, I realized that it wouldn't be fair of me to put a wedge between them with my own selfish desires. If Heero's relationship with me progressed while Zechs wasn't looking, that was fine, but it needed to be done because Heero wanted it to, and not because he felt that it had to for him to keep me. So, instead of pulling him close and ripping off his clothes like I wanted to, I sat down in front of him and placed my hands on his shoulders.

"Listen to me," I told him, giving his shoulders a gentle shake to get his attention. "I'm not going to do anything that stupid ever again, regardless of whether or not you sleep with me. Get it? I'm here to stay, even if you don't want to screw me, alright? But don't think that I don't like you, because I think you're great and I'd totally want to sleep with you if I didn't think that you were doing it because you thought you had to and not because you wanted to, alright? Because you are so dead-sexy-hot that you could make me hard even if I were a corpse, which I'm not so-…"

"Duo!" Heero snapped, an amused little grin on his face that was way hotter than his earlier smirk because it was genuine and all Heero.

"Huh?"

"You were rambling. I get it. You won't do something stupid just because I won't have sex with you."

"But I'd really like to if you ever have the urge to."

"Yes, I got that."

"Good, because it's really important-…"

"Duo, get in bed."

"Does that mean…?"

"No, it does not. I intend to sleep with you, but if your dick makes any aggressive moves I will cut it off," he said, completely without humor and keeping to his side of the mattress as we both settled down to sleep.

"Jesus, Heero, what a way to make a guy lose a boner."

"I fully intend to hold you to your promise of not doing anything stupid while I decide if conditions are favorable to have intercourse with you."

"You're gonna torment me with this shit, aren't you?"

"Affirmative."


	153. Zechs 152

The rest of that day passed in a blur, both for myself and the rest of the house. I awoke only once, to consume dinner, which Heero, who had already rested the previous day, was able to make. The nervous energy that had sustained us all through the previous day seemed to have given out, and even Wufei was dragging. Quatre seemed barely able to wake himself enough to eat, and had managed to gain a slight fever in his sleep that would have to be watched closely in the coming days. For the time being, I merely administered some over the counter cold medication and sent him back to bed. The others, as well, I forced to retire, including Heero once he had seen that the horses were settled for the night. By all accounts, we slept through more of Tuesday than we saw.

When I awoke Wednesday morning I was alone in bed, which wasn't unusual since Wufei is usually a very early riser, although on this particular morning I couldn't help but wish that he'd stayed in bed. Everything seemed too crisp, too bright for me to handle when coming from the sleep-stupor I had been in since yesterday. The crispness of the air reminded me that we had few cool day left until the hottest days of summer would banish these stray storms from the area, and then few scant weeks from there before we would return to Collar for our first, and hopefully last, competition. So far I had not been able to see more than a few of the boys' lessons, and I had seen none of Duo's acts, nor was I even certain he had been practicing. I had tasted Quatre's cooking skills often enough, but nothing of his other competitions, and likewise I had seen only a few of the weapons Trowa had created, nothing more. I had helped Heero on several of his lessons, which hardly made up for the fact that I knew nothing about Duo's. Wufei was probably alright with his tasks, as he was something of a legend, but it still worried me how little I knew about what we were going to be doing in roughly six weeks' time.

As well, it reminded me that I had only a few more weeks until I would be expected at several parties at different master's houses, all of which had sent me invitations weeks ago. Many, I knew from Collar circles, were from powerful masters who might be able to help in my quest to win Collar, and I had accepted four invitations and replying that I would stay no longer than three days at each. With traveling, I hoped to have this over within two weeks. I had yet to decide which slave I would be taking with me to each of the events, for I had written in reply that I could not afford to deprive more than one slave at a time from valuable practice time. I was leaning heavily toward taking Duo with me for at least one of the trips, if only I could be assured that he would behave. As hesitant as I was to leave him behind again, I was almost more hesitant to take him away from Heero's stabilizing support.

It crossed my mind then that I would probably have to leave Duo for at least a few days in the near future to take a "business trip" as Preventers would most likely not allow me to go back to Collar without a progress report, and since I wouldn't have time for it closer to Collar I had better schedule it for before. I would need to create a plan of attack for Preventers now that I had experience with this enemy, and I would have to decide what signal I would use to start the attack once I was certain where the Owner was. Perhaps the Preventers' lab had cooked something up for this very occasion…

My thoughts were interrupted as Wufei entered the room, and for once I was glad to lose my train of thought. Even better, he carried with him a tray of breakfast, and I could have wept at the glorious smells coming from it. Only then did I realize how ravenous I was, and at once my stomach let out a yowl so loud that I blushed. Wufei merely chuckled.

"I see I am well received," he teased, placing the tray in front of me. "After you slept like the dead last night I thought you might be hungry this morning, still replenishing your fat stores from your trek into the forest, I see."

"If Quatre keeps cooking like this I'll have an entire vault of fat to pull from on my next trek, but I might be too fat to walk."

"I doubt that," Wufei said, coming to sit beside me and handing me a plate of food. "Not with all the stress we put you through, anyway."

"You could be right about that," I said, taking a bite of omelet and savoring the flavor. But something was off, and it took me a moment to figure out what was wrong. "Wufei, aren't you going to eat with me?" I wondered. Wufei started and blushed in response.

"I hadn't thought of it," he said, smiling in a self-depreciating sort of way, "I suppose old habits die hard."

"As I'm coming to see," I told him, for I had often faced the habits drilled into my slaves by their former masters, although Wufei always seemed the least scarred by those encounters. Still, it would be silly to think that his psyche would be completely untouched, especially after years with the Owner. "Still, the only way to break a habit is to defeat it," I told him. "And so, viola," I said, holding my fork, a piece of omelet perched on the end, to his lips. After a moment's hesitation, he took it. "We have defeated your habit."

"I don't think it's that easy," he said after swallowing the egg.

"Maybe not, but let's let me dream for now, alright? So, help me finish this food. Have the other boys eaten?"

"Yes, were up earlier this morning and most have already started their lessons," he said, then paused for a moment, a hesitation that was strange for him. "Duo is awaiting his punishment."

I stopped, holding completely still for a moment, with the shock of this reminder. I had almost forgotten that I had promised to punish Duo, and now it seemed that I would have to make good on that promise regardless.

"I'll handle it," I replied curtly. "Tell Duo to meet me in my study at noon."

"Do you know what you'll do?" he asked softly, as though we were being hunted. Then again, questioning a master was probably considered dangerous in Collar, so perhaps his caution was warranted. I smiled reassuringly.

"I'll handle it," I told him, which seemed to reassure him, and we finished the rest of breakfast in relaxed silence.

It was 9:30 before I managed to finish breakfast and trek down to my office, and 10:30 before I managed to convince myself of what I had known would have to be done since I found that Duo was missing.

Despite the fears of the rest of the house, I had no intention of getting rid of Duo. I was aware of how far he had come to adjust to our ways, and I knew how important he was to Heero, not to mention how valuable he would be at Collar. It wasn't the fact that Duo had run off that upset me; it was the fact that he had almost been killed because I had not been able to find him. What if, instead of running off, Duo had been kidnapped? What if someone had managed to get the anklet off of one of the boys while we were shopping and carried him off? What if one of them had simply gotten lost somewhere on the property and was unable to find a way back?

In my mind, there didn't seem to be any choice. I would have to implant a tracking chip on all of them, a measure that Sally had been supporting since I had brought them home. The chip would allow my security team (and Preventers) to be able to locate them in case of an emergency. It would also let us locate them quickly if one got kidnapped or lost. Lastly, and the reason I was most hesitant to have it implanted, it would allow security to find them quickly if one attempted to run off.

I had hoped it wouldn't come to these extremes. It was unfashionable at Collar of have tracking chips in slaves, since this was often taken as a sign that the master couldn't control his slaves. Beyond that, though, it would make it very hard for me to convince the boys that I did have faith in them now that I was literally putting a digital leash on them. It would also make it far more difficult to create a feeling of normality in their lives, and I worried what this last invasion of their privacy would do the their psyches.

Still, even though I was reluctant to go to such lengths, in light of recent events it seemed unavoidable. Having them alive and upset would still be far better than having them dead. I would not risk losing any of my boys to stupid mistakes and careless errors of judgment. By 11:00 I had made the necessary calls and everything was in order, and I set about other tasks while I waited for Sally to arrive.

At 12:03, a soft knock sounded on my door, and after a hesitant moment the door opened and Duo peeked his head in.

"Hey," he said softly, completely without his usual brash fire. "Wufei said you wanted to see me? And Sally just pulled up outside. I think she said she'd been in the medical room if you needed her."

"When," I corrected. "I asked her to come today to do more than give you a check-up."

"I kind of figured," he said sullenly. "So what do you have in mind? Tattoos? Branding? Branding hurts more, but tattoos are harder to get rid of when I change masters. They all suck, but I guess it's better than being sold."

"I'm not going to brand or tattoo you, and if I were I certainly wouldn't invite Sally to help with it. She'd kill me if she knew I'd even though of it," I replied, repressing the urge to reach out to Duo. Duo's mask was often so firmly in place that I would forget how much abuse he had suffered in the past.

"Then what the hell do you need her for?" he groused, and I could see his anxiety lighting his usual spark of violence. His body tensed as I watched, and I sighed mentally as I realized how difficult this was going to be. It was lucky I hadn't giving in to the temptation to touch him; I was fairly certain that Duo would have struck out had I attempted.

"I'm going to have you tagged with a tracking device," I told him bluntly. "Sally will inject a chip about the size of a grain of rice into your shoulder so that I will be able to track you at all times."

"That's it?" he wondered, and I was astounded to see him visibly relax. "That's not such a big deal. I mean, it sucks that you'll always know where I am, but I don't go anywhere you don't know about anyway."

"I suppose," I replied hesitantly. Duo was like handling unknown chemicals. I was never certain what would set him off and what would merely fizzle out, but it was always certain that if I did get a reaction it would almost always result in something blowing up. "Well, in that case, let's go se Sally. I'm sure she'll want to finish this quickly. We can discuss your punishment this evening, after the others are finished."

"Wait," Duo said, frowning and coming to a halt where he had been approaching the door. "What others?"

"Ah… the other boys."

I could almost see the chemicals mix as he contemplated that statement, and I could only await the imminent explosion.

"You can punish everyone just because I made a boneheaded mistake! That's totally not fair!"

"Duo, this isn't a punishment for your mistake. You're punishment will be cleaning out the horse stalls until further notice and a complete suspension of your riding privileges. However, you're little outing into the woods made me realize just how easy it would be for one of you to get lost or even kidnapped. I'm not going to risk losing you or any of the others over something as tiny as a tracking chip. Now, you can shut up and go to the medical room, or I can haul you there. One way or another, you are getting this chip."

To my great relief, Duo picked the first option, huffed, and stormed out of the room.

Sally, as expected, was waiting for us in the medical room, here gear already unpacked an neatly arranged. She seemed to sense Duo's angry mood, and made quick work of delivering injection that would numb the part of Duo's shoulder that was to contain the chip. From there we only had to wait a few minutes for the drug to take effect, with Duo glaring sullenly at the floor, before Sally was able to insert the device. The device was delivered using piece of equipment similar to a large syringe, except that only the tip had to be inserted, as the tip contained the chip, which would naturally lodge in the skin as the needle was withdrawn. Although the chip was small, it still took a bit of force to penetrate it through the skin and into the muscle of the shoulder, so Sally was careful to disinfect and bandage the site before releasing Duo with stern orders not to do any significant lifting for the rest of the day.

"I'll also be leaving something for the soreness with Zechs, so if it starts to hurt or stiffen up just ask for the prescription," sally instructed. Duo nodded, but I knew that even if his arm was about to fall off, he would not ask me for any drugs.

"Send Trowa in next," I told Duo softly. "And Duo? Try not to give him any warning as to what is going on. Trowa reacts very badly to needles, and I it would be far easier on him if we could avoid any hysterics."


	154. Trowa 153

It was with some trepidation that I approached the medical room, where I knew Master would be awaiting me. It was an odd feeling, both usual and unusual. I had to admit, I wasn't at all unaccustomed to being nervous at the thought of meeting with a master for unknown reasons. At Collar, there had scarcely been a meeting with a master that I hadn't feared, so the emotion had begun to feel quite natural to me. On the other hand, I had not once been given any reason or provocation to fear Master Zechs since he removed the dreaded piercings from my body. Even then he had not so much intimidated me as confused and frightened me. I hadn't been able to believe his motives, and had feared darker torments would await me if I put my faith in him.

But Master had proved himself nothing if not honorable, and I no longer saw any reason to dread him. Obedience was naturally given to him, so much that it seemed like far more struggle to Duo to disobey him than to obey, and respect had been slowly earned through his thoughtfulness and consideration. So, while I might have felt somewhat nervous that I might have somehow accidentally displeased Master, I felt no fear of retribution or terror of impending cruelty.

It had taken me a few minutes to get to the medical room, since I had been catching up with some of my weapons training when Duo called me. It had taken me a few minutes to clear my supplies, but it had not taken me a significant amount of time to get downstairs, so I was confused to find that Sally was already absent from the medical room, leaving just Master present to receive me. Master, as well, had a somewhat bored look on his face, reclining on a large chair in the corner of the room. There was something small in his hand that he was worrying, but it was so tiny that I couldn't see what it was.

"Master?" I called, to which he looked in my direction and smiled, though a lingering shadow still seemed to haunt his face. But the smile did manage to put my fears of being in trouble at ease.

"I was wondering when you'd get here."

"I apologize. I was in the middle of practice and had to clear everything before I could come down."

"Practice? I'm sorry I disturbed you. How is it going?"

"Well, Master. I hope to be competitive for Collar."

"That's good," Master said. After that, a silence fell between us, with Master's face once again going dark with worry. Finally, he sighed and looked me in the eyes. "I think the pleasant part of this meeting is over now," he said, holding out his hand and revealing the small blue pill that he had been holding. "I need you to trust me, and take this."

It was such an odd occurrence for Master to spring something like this on one of his slaves that I hesitated, glancing between the pill and where Master was still seated on the chair. It took one glance for me to realize that he was asking me to take the pill, and another for me to realize that he wasn't going to say anything else. The third glance was merely to ask for reassurance, which Master's calm, warm blue eyes gave. With that, I took the pill and swallowed it dry, ignoring the uneasy feeling in the pit of my stomach.

I did trust Master, as much as my hesitancy must have told him otherwise. Master was the first person I had truly trusted, and the four others that I had learned to trust all lived in his house. Were it not for the bad memories connected with drugs in other master's hand, I would not have hesitated at all, but loss of mental and physical control for a slave was terrifying for many reasons, least of which was an imminent rape and worst of which was the fact that masters could easily learn your secrets and your fears.

But Master already knew my fears, and I had no secrets to keep from him, so I didn't fear losing control in front of him. Master had proven several times already that he would not allow his slaves to be unnecessarily hurt and he had shown a dislike for excessive cruelty, so I felt safer with him than I would anywhere at Collar.

"Thank you, Trowa," Master said softly, returning my attention to the present time. "Now, tell me, how have your other studies been going?"

"Other studies?" I repeated stupidly. The day was taking so many leaps that I was hard-pressed to keep up.

"Yes, you're doing an interpretive dance, aren't you? How is that going? Have you completed a routine?"

"The routine is still unfinished but I have selected the music. It's a violin solo about the secret love and longing for a lover. It's a more classical piece, but it tends to be more difficult to create an interesting routine to classical music, so it scores better when done well. It's a risk, but there's no other way for me to score well my first year. It…" I paused as I began to sway on my feet. My body had been feeling heavy and strange for a few moments, but I hadn't expected the drug to hit me so suddenly.

Master was up in an instant and beside me, letting me lean on his shoulder.

"I'm sorry," I whispered, trying to regain my footing even as Master led me to the room's small bed.

"It's alright, this was completely expected, although I do wish you'd given me a bit more warning. Now, sit down before you fall down," he instructed, helping me to get seated on the gurney. Once I was propped against the wall and fully seat, Master surprised me by hopping up beside me and pulling me into his arms.

"Hold your hand up for a moment," he told me, pulling my hand up until it was level with my chest, then leaving me to shakily hold it on my own for the few minutes that I could. "We'll give it another few minutes," he told me, gently running a hand down my arm. "Now, tell me, how are you really doing? The others are so loud and noisy, sometimes I forget you're even around. So how are you getting along?"

"Fine," I responded instinctively, but the pregnant silence that followed told even my fuzzy brain that Master would not be satisfied with such a short answer. "I'm doing well. Wufei says I'm making good progress in my reading and he thinks that I might be done with lessons at the end of the summer. Heero and I get along well, and I'm fine with Duo when he's normal. I like being around Quatre."

"You do seem close to Quatre," Master said. "I was worried when you first arrived that you might have a hard time making friends because you and Heero didn't seem to like each other. I worried that you'd be too shy to talk to anyone, but it seems that Quatre managed to get close to you after all."

But had he? I couldn't help but wonder at that fact. I spent the most time with Quatre, certainly, and I enjoyed being around Quatre the most, but could we actually be called close? After all, he had barely spoken a word to me about his time with Master, and I was fairly certain that good friends would not hold such secrets from each other. Then again, I had not had the nerve to do more than pose a few superficial questions to him about it, and had backed down when he had seemed reluctant to answer me. What good would it do to force the answers from him? If he didn't feel comfortable trusting me, then I probably was not worthy to be trusted, for Quatre had a knack for understanding peoples' characters. It was more likely that I was untrustworthy than it was that Quatre had made an error in judging my personality, especially after all the time we had spent together.

Perhaps he was right about me. After all, wouldn't a true friend confess the secrets of his heart? And yet I hid my darkest secret, the unfriendly attraction I felt for Quatre, afraid of the response it might get me. If I were braver, like Duo, or more stoic, like Heero, or even more scholarly, like Wufei, I might be able to overcome the feeling, or remain unresponsive to it, or even logic it into non-existence. If I were purer of heart, like Quatre, it would never have come to exist, but I was none of those things. I was the flawed doll amongst the perfect pieces.

"Trowa? Are you alright?" Master wondered, and only then did I realize that I had not answered his question. "Do you feel tired?" he continued to ask, and I realized suddenly that I did feel extremely heavy and lethargic.

"I'm sorry," I whispered, feeling as though I could no longer hold my head up and allowing it to rest against Master's shoulder.

"I told you, it's to be expected. Now, I'm going to take off your shirt, so try to stay up while I get it off you," he said. I tried to do as he bid, but it was terribly difficult to control any of my muscles, so I was able to do little more than cling to Master as he guided the shirt up my shoulders and over my head, keeping a firm hold on my torso all the while. The air felt cool and my bare arms and back. I shivered lightly and clung more closely to Master's warm form. He chuckled in response, and I must imagine that I looked something like a cold puppy as I curled into him, but I didn't mind the comparison. Being a slave leaves little room for wounded pride.

"Sally, I think he's ready," Master called, and I had to fight off a brief stab of annoyance. It had been some time since Master had shown such individual consideration to me, and friendship alone could not replace the warmth and security that a devoted lover could bring. I realized with a sudden clarity that I had been feeling lonely and forgotten, even with as kind as the other slaves were to me, since Master had been so busy with the others. Was I jealous, even, of the individual attention Quatre had gotten? Was that the reason I had pushed so hard to know what had transpired between Master and his slave? Was I truly that petty?

But it was more than that, and lower still. I was jealous of Master as well, as sick as that made me. I had been the most often around Quatre, the one he most often turned to with his problems. I should have been the one to realize what was wrong. I should have been the one to realize what was wrong. And I…

…I should have been the one to fix it.


	155. Zechs 154

I had forgotten how damn cute Trowa could be when all his mental barriers were down. He had the biggest, most expressive brown eyes when he chose to use them, and it was probably a good thing that he kept them mostly hidden behind that shock of hair of his, otherwise everyone would know what was going through his mind all the time.

That's not really true. Everyone would know what emotion was going through his mind all the time, but what I wouldn't have given to be able to read his thoughts. Especially when Quatre was mentioned, and those big green eyes began to turn introspective, suddenly and randomly filling with rage or sadness, even as far as a rather convincing disgust that made me worry for a moment about the drug having a side effect.

I knew things would be hard for Trowa if the dynamics between him and Quatre changed, but there hadn't been another option. I knew Trowa relied on Quatre for socialization almost as much as Heero relied on Duo to make him relax and have fun. Where Duo would overcome Heero's workaholic attitude, Quatre would overcome Trowa's severe shyness. It had gained Duo and Quatre a deep loyalty from the other two, and it also gave Duo and Quatre the stability and structure they both needed in their lives. However, due to my intereference, Quatre was now looking toward me for his sole source of stability, and Trowa was forced to grapple with this new development that had so radically altered their relationship. The relationship between Trowa and Quatre had suddenly become as tentative as Heero and Duo's, just when Heero and Duo's relationship seemed to finally be settling down.

"I want you to relax now," I told him, turning him around so that he could comfortably lay his head on my shoulder, putting his legs on either side of my and my back against the wall. Once he was situated and settled, his eyes nearly closed by the drug-induced exhaustion, I called for Sally, who bustled in a moment later.

Was it really only a few minutes ago that Duo had been in the same place? The scene was so different this time that I could barely see that the same thing was happening. Instead of an angry, petulant teen facing Sally and daring me to offer comfort there was a shy, frightened boy who would rather hide behind me than let Sally near him. Instead of wanting to bend him over the table and hold him for Sally, I was tempted to knock the table over and hide Trowa behind it. Instead of inspiring annoyance in me, Trowa's reaction to Sally engaged every protective instinct contained within my over-protective soul.

I did, however, wish Trowa had a bit of Duo's stoicism and attitude when he saw Sally holding the needle, but it was my own fault that he didn't. To prevent any chance of Trowa running off again and possibly hurting himself, Sally and I agreed to drug him before the shot, but the precaution had made it impossibly for Trowa to contain his fear. He surprised me by casting a quick glance over his shoulder while Sally was preparing the needle, and I hadn't been able to turn him back around before he had seen the gleaming tip. The whimper of terror he let out would have been enough to prompt me to carry him right out of the room had I not ordered this task myself. As it was I barely restrained myself to clutching his shaking form closer and whispering soothing words into his ear.

He had been doing so well, too, that I couldn't say for certain that he would have run if given the chance. He had helped to hold Duo for his injections several times and had done little more than shiver fearfully at the needle that was less than a foot from his own skin. And even when I had surprised Heero with an injection to keep him from running off, Trowa had done little more than flinch at the terrible metal. Unfortunately, I couldn't trust that Trowa's reactions were actually because he was learning to accept needles rather than because the needles were aimed at someone else. There was a strong possibility that Trowa might only react so strongly when the needle was aimed at him, so I felt that precautions were necessary, lest he hurt himself.

The ordeal probably felt like it took forever for Trowa, but it was actually over very quickly. Sally rubbed a numbing cream over the site of the injection, waited three minutes, then inserted the chip and cleaned the wound, with the whole process taking less than five minutes total.

Of course, Trowa was still highly upset, and with the drugs still in his system, along with all the other worries I had for him, I didn't feel right about leaving him alone immediately.

"Heero is probably in the training room down the hall. Would you mind going to get him and informing him of what's being done? I'd like to put Trowa in the den to rest," I told Sally. She agreed and left the room as I lifted Trowa, awkwardly since he was nearly my size, and carried him into the den.

Trowa's breathing was shallow and sporadic when I gently laid him down and covered him with an afghan, so I sat at the top of the couch and let him pillow his head in my lap. In a surprisingly short amount of time he calmed and his breathing evened out in a sleep-like rhythm. Perhaps I had underestimated him in applying the drugs and should have allowed him to try on his own, but there was no use regretting it now. Besides, had I not used the drugs I never would have gotten this peaceful moment to sit and merely enjoy the peace and silence with my quietest slave. It was almost with disappointment that I heard Heero and Sally coming down the hall and realized that I should go and talk to him about this myself.

I sighed and moved out from under Trowa, rising and moving to leave the room, but Trowa's arm shot out clumsily from under the blankets and made to grab at my sleeve.

"Stay," he whispered, fighting to get his eyes open and trying in vain to rise and come after me. "Please stay."

"Shh," I soothed, kneeling next to him and taking his hand in my own. "I'm not going far, just in the other room."

"No. Stay here," he pleaded, his voice no more than a puff of breath. "Stay with me."

"Alright," I told him and I saw him suddenly relax, his body going lax as his eyes stopped fighting to stay open and slipped nearly shut.

"…Lonely," he whispered softly, and I'm fairly certain that he didn't mean to say it out loud, because he started slightly when I asked, "Why are you lonely? There are lots of people you can talk to in the house."

"It's not the same," he said softly, as though it was something he was hesitant to admit. "The others are friends. They won't get close to me like you will. They aren't… you."

"They aren't your lovers, you mean," I asked him quietly. It shouldn't have surprised me; out of all the boys, Trowa was actually the most tactile, the one who most craved physical touch and demonstrations, even though he was too shy to ask for it. The electrodes in his past had deprived his body of years of human contact that it was now trying to make up despite the mental blocks and phobias that had been put in place. In some respects, he was a lot like Duo, only his problem had been much easier to overcome since there was a physical item that caused all his pain, whereas Duo had many different triggers.

"I…" Trowa hesitated, mulling over what to say, "I miss you," he finished neutrally.

"It's understandable, I haven't spent much time with you lately," I soothed, but Trowa looked more upset despite my efforts.

"You don't understand. I'm not a good person. I was jealous of you when you took Quatre, and jealous of him when you came back," he said, his mental anguish lending him strength as the drugs began to wear off. "I don't deserve to be with you."

"Of course you were jealous. I took your best friend away from you and paid him far more attention than I was paying you. But you have to know that it wasn't because I like him better, and Quatre hasn't stopped being your friend either. He's probably fonder of you than he is of me."

Trowa looked uncomfortable and hesitant to speak. "Of course he likes you better. You are his master. You have more to offer him than I do."

"But that's not the way friendship is supposed to work. Friendship isn't about giving or taking, it's about being there because you want to. Because you want the other person to be happy."

"But what if making the other person happy doesn't make you happy?" he wondered, and I realized suddenly that neither of us was speaking of friendship, but I was the only one who knew it.

"Then you have to decide which of you is more important, and if you can truly be happy if he is unhappy, or if you would do better to let him find his own happiness and try to find ours elsewhere."

"I don't want to be alone," he whispered softly, but there was a note of despairing resignation in it so potent that I shifted myself back to the couch and took him in my arms.

"You will never be alone," I told him firmly, stroking his hair as I held him to me. "We will always be here for you, no matter what choices you make. But don't expect Quatre to reciprocate feelings that you've never expressed to him. You might have to take a risk to really get his attention, but even if you can't you will still have a home here, understand? You are not alone."

For a moment, I thought I might have pushed too far, because Trowa looked frightened at what I had said, but the fear only lasted for a moment, though whether due to my expression or the drugs in his system I couldn't tell you. Still, in only a few more minutes Trowa had dozed into a fitful sleep.

As upset as I was at the realization that I didn't really know what all was happening with my slaves, I was glad that I had managed to talk to Trowa so openly, for his normal self would have taken months to give me as much information as his drugged self had revealed in minutes.

_Removed for content._


	156. Wufei 155

It was afternoon before I saw Zechs again. After breakfast I had gone to give Trowa his writing lesson for the day, and then went to practice my own skills when Duo had called him away. Despite all the interruptions, I actually felt that I was making good progress in comparing for the competition. Something about being such an atmosphere as this had sparked my creativity, and I was doing better at dance and chess than I ever had, coming up with better routines in dance and more intricate moves in chess. The others were less affected by my sudden increase in creativity, but still benefited from my abundance of enthusiasm. I was almost startled to find that I was having fun with things that had been like military drills to me in the past. Perhaps it was the lack of pressure from Zechs, or perhaps it was the atmosphere he had created in the house, but I felt more alive than I had in years.

Or, on the other hand, perhaps it was just all the pent-up sexual energy that I had been unable to release lately. It would soon be two months since Zechs brought me here from Collar and, except for one incidence of rampant passion, I had been celibate the entire time. I was beginning to feel like some kind of monk!

Perhaps I could jump him before dinner, I mused when I received a summons from Quatre to meet Zechs downstairs. The thought made me blush at my own uncharacteristic lust, but all the same I couldn't deny that the idea had some merit. By the time he retired at night Zechs was usually too tired and mentally drained to have sex, and he always rose too late in the morning for me to stick around. I could try waking him up to sex, I supposed, but even I wasn't so desperate as to be able to do something so kinky without being asked or at least given permission. I had contemplated trying to seduce him at breakfast, but seeing Duo mope around downstairs had reminded me that Zechs still had responsibilities with the other slaves, and having him sleep all day again would not be conducive to getting everything back in order. So, despite my uncommonly insistent libido, I hadn't tried anything at breakfast.

He was supposed to finish Duo's punishment earlier, I thought to myself as I neared Zechs' office, which means that his afternoon should be free. I couldn't help a small smirk at that thought. What a lecher I was becoming!

Unfortunately, upon reaching Zechs' office, all my plans of afternoon diversion were thwarted by Sally's presence. She was perched on the edge of the room's only bed, and Zechs was conspicuously absent.

"Hello Wufei," she greeted pleasantly, "Zechs is just checking on Trowa, he'll be here in a moment. You're looking much better than the last time I saw you. Much more… zen."

"You must excuse my behavior last time we met. I was, after all, having a horse."

"Cow."

"Excuse me?"

"You were having a cow. That's the saying."

"Ah, I see. Well, regardless, the labor is over so I have returned to my natural disposition."

"At least now you have a better understanding of what women go through. I warrant you'll treat them with more respect now."

"Actually, I haven't made up my mind yet. You're all either very brave or very stupid for willingly undergoing something like birth."

Sally laughed, putting her head back and chucking deep in her throat. There was nothing particularly feminine about it, but it was genuine and I felt my esteem of the doctor's personality increase. I wondered if we would get along were she to come around more often. After all, we already had common ground, with both of us constantly trying to restrain Zechs from stupid and irrational behavior.

Speaking of which, our playful banter was interrupted as said idiot entered the room, glancing at the two of us questioningly.

"What's so funny?" he wondered, and the open curiosity on his face relieved the lines of worry that had been chiseled into his face lately. I wondered if I would be able to convince Zechs to invite Sally over more often.

"Just comparing genders," Sally quipped, her laughter fading into an amused smile. "Now, does Wufei know what's going on or will you need to explain it to him as well?"

"Actually, I was wondering if you could give us a few minutes to discuss this?"

"Of course," Sally sighed, hopping off the bed and stalking out the door, "Just send the doctor away. Not like she knows anything about it. I'll be in the kitchen if you need me, raiding your refrigerator of anything that looks fattening."

"Would you tell Duo to stay out of the ice-cream while you're at it? I heard him bumping around the kitchen when I went to check on Trowa, but I didn't feel like yelling at him. You can tell him there are grapes in the fridge if he's hungry, but I don't want him making himself sick on ice-cream again."

"I'm on it," Sally quipped as she headed down the hall.

And then we were alone.

Well, as alone as we could be in a house of six, with four rambunctious teenage boys bumping around, fighting for attention, hormones raging, and trying to find joy in a world that had obviously decided to exclude them from all the happiness that it could. And Zechs, who was trying to ride out the storm as best he could while taming the wild creatures he found in the midst of it. And there was me, of course, the boat trying to hold Zechs afloat, or something like that.

And then Zechs came to stand in front of me, his tall form towering over me. I had forgotten how tall the man truly was, for it was rare that he would just stand over someone. As a master, Zechs could have been truly intimidating with such an imposing form. As it was he seemed like some kind of a lion; terrifying to enemies, but concerned mainly with protecting his pride.

True to form, Zechs only stood over me for a minute, staring down at me with those intense, blue eyes, before sitting down on the bed with a sigh and pulling me in front of him, so that we were face to face.

"It's been a long day, so I'm going to try to keep this short. You are not yet my slave," he told me, and my heart suddenly quickened with the accustomed reaction of fear. Even though Zechs did not seem angry nor had he made any violent moves, I was so unaccustomed to hearing him remind any of us of the Master/slave relationship that I immediately felt anxious. "You cannot truly be my slave until we return to Collar and finalize the transaction with the Owner," he assured me, assailing my anxiety. "However, I still think of you as one of mine, and you will become mine at the coming Collar," he said, but he didn't sound possessive, like other masters. If I hadn't known better, I would have thought I was joining a team or a squadron. "So now I am asking you, because I cannot tell you, to accept the tracer that I am putting in the other boys. Duo's misadventure has made me realize just how easily one of you could be lost or kidnapped. I want all of you to be safe, so I'm asking you; let me put a tracer on you, for your own protection."

It wasn't such a bad request. Actually, after Duo's attempt to escape, things could have gone much worse. Many masters, upset by the prospect of losing a slave, would choose to have the entire lot of their slaves branded or tattooed. And, while tagging was generally looked down on as weak in Collar, it wasn't something taboo enough to affect Zechs' reputation significantly. And the idea was probably pretty sound, based on the location of Zechs' house and the lack of staff to oversee the slaves, not to mention the freedoms we were allowed. Most masters had a full-time staff of bodyguards and babysitters to watch over the slaves when they weren't on display. And, of course, while our respect was higher for Zechs than for most masters, none of us had a true physical fear of him, as far as I could tell. All around, I couldn't say I disagreed with the idea.

However, the tags also showed a lack of trust in our abilities as slaves. It proved that Zechs did not feel that we could take care of ourselves, while Duo was the only one who had shown that to be true. Allowing the tags to be placed would be admitting to a level of weakness that I, personally, did not feel was true. And so, there only seemed to be one option, and Zechs wasn't going to like it.

"I will allow the tag," I told him, and Zechs sighed with relief, "if you are tagged as well."

"…What?"

"I will allow myself to be tagged," I told him firmly, glaring into his stunned and appalled eyes, "only if you accept the chip as well."

"Wufei… that's ridiculous… I can't just…"

"Actually," came a feminine voice from the doorway, causing us both to jump, "I think it's a great idea," Sally said, leaning causally against the doorframe, a cup of yogurt in her hand.

"How long have you been there?" Zechs snapped, his face flushed and flustered.

"Somewhere around, 'This is for your own protection.' But, regardless, Wufei is right. This would be a damn good way to save you from your own stupidity, as we often do. And you're just as likely to get kidnapped or hurt as any of your slaves. Twice as likely to get hurt, actually, if you keep up these foolhardy stunts," Sally told him, and I was a little relieved to see her taking up my cause. I had been somewhat worried about facing down Zechs over this matter. Although he could not make decisions regarding permanent alterations to my person yet because he was not technically my master, the Owner had given him full permission to punish me, so he was well within his rights to harm me, whether or not I had done something wrong. Not that I believed he would, otherwise I wouldn't have agreed to the chip, which he could use against me once he was my master. I trusted Zechs, but the old fears of slavery were hard to overcome, especially in the face of a new fear, like choice.

"Sally, this is ridiculous. I don't need to be tagged…"

"Oh no? You damn well needed it the other day, when you went off half-cocked to find Duo in the middle of a hurricane without even turning on your radio," she growled, standing up and moving into the room to face Zechs, both of them looking more pissed off as the argument continued.

"That was different. You know I'd do anything to protect my slaves…"

"But you won't do something as little as get a tracer to protect yourself? You know what happens to them if you die, Zechs?"

"I am well aware of the risks, but I assure you I am perfectly able to take care of myself…"

"And they're not? You seem to have a rather big difference in standards between you and your slaves. Maybe you think they really are less intelligent or less skilled than the rest of us," Sally hissed, her eyes narrowing dangerously. But Zechs was pretty pissed too.

"That's completely unfair and you know it," he growled. "I want to be more careful with the boys because they're young and naïve and they make stupid mistakes."

"Everyone makes stupid mistakes Zechs, even you. Or are you still trying to deny that your little fiasco with Duo was one of the most brainless things you've ever done? Because I hate to tell you this, superman, but you are damn well as human as the rest of us, and just as easy to kill. Now, are you going take this chip like scholar-boy here has wisely suggested, or am I going to shove it up your ass?" she threatened, glaring up into Zechs face. Zechs' eyes narrowed dangerously.

"You had this planned all along," he accused.

"Actually, when I came this morning I was pretty sure there was no way I'd be able to convince your stubborn ass to be smart for once, but with Wufei here on my side I think we just might be able to bully you into this," she said, smiling and backing up to stand next to me, but losing none of the heat of her conviction. I straightened and leveled a glare at Zechs, who was seething stubbornly.

"I will keep my word," I assured him just as stubbornly. Sally beamed.

"There, you see? You said yourself that you can't force him, so if you want him safe, you have to stay safe yourself."

Zechs looked like he wanted to blow his top, and was only holding his temper together by force of will. He glanced at me, his eyes searing holes in my soul but doing nothing to my will. I am ashamed to say, however, that I don't think I could have held my resolve so staunchly had Sally not been there beside me, a silent assurance that I was doing the right thing. Zechs was such a kind person and a good master, that it felt wrong, traitorous even to go against his will, even knowing that I was right in the matter.

Zechs shifted his eyes from me to Sally, taking a step closer and dropping his voice to a low rumble that I doubt I was supposed to hear. "If things go badly, I don't want anyone getting killed for me," he told her, his steely eyes glaring down at her, but Sally was not fazed.

"And if things go well, I don't want you getting killed for stupidity."


	157. Zechs 156

Half an hour found both Wufei and myself tagged, Sally bid a somewhat terse farewell, and me sulking in my office and ignoring the throbbing of my shoulder.

And, yes, I knew I was sulking. I was well aware of my own perchance for stubbornness, and I accepted the fact that I placed the safety of my slaves and the safety of myself on different levels of importance. But there was no call for her to team up with Wufei to force me into submitting to the chip. It was an uncalled for breach of faith, and I was still steaming twenty minutes after Sally left.

Of course, all that steaming allowed me to ignore the real reason I didn't want the chip, which began to make a subtle entrance into my mind as I started to calm. In truth, having a chip myself was a very good idea, and it would help my security team locate me in case of emergency, and it might keep some unknown Preventer's agent from shooting me when they came to end Collar.

But it would also help them locate me and shuffle me off to a safe location while the rest of them did battle. I was well aware on Preventer's policy on undercover agents, which was to get them out of the site as soon as possible, both for their own protection and so they wouldn't be spotted by an escaping perpetrator, thus blowing their cover for any future mission. In the past, I was always concealed by a heavy helmet and full mask in any operations I actively fought in, but my voice and my looks were too well known at Collar for that to be an option. Fighting in the Collar battle would probably compromise my usefulness as a secret agent for the rest of my life, because even a single escape or forgotten video would reveal my persona as Zechs Marquis to be part of a Perventer's plan. If everything went according to Preventer's plans, however, there would be no evidence that it was my hand that brought the Owner to justice, and it would simply look like I had managed to escape punishment by Preventers in all the confusion. The dirt of the world would still have faith in me, and I would still be useful to the Preventers.

But I was getting sick of having my whole world, every word I said and every place I went, dictated by my job. Being with the boys and finally having a more or less functional family unit was making me realize just how lonely I had been before, how important family was to me, and how much I had been missing out on. Never had I been this irrational before, but never had I cared this much before either. And, even with all the stress and the fighting, I was happy. Nothing in the past or future could take that away from me; I was happy now with the family I had found.

And yet, I thirsted for blood. I tossed and turned at night, dreaming of being the judge, jury, and execution to those defunct members of humanity that had harmed my family. I wanted to hear them scream, to hear them plead and beg for mercy. I wanted to do all the depraved and vicious things they had done to their slaves to them, to make them scream and writhe in agony while I laughed at them. There was something deep an primordial in me that I could feel awakening, something instinctual that only knew lust and violence and territoriality. My family was my territory, and someone had crossed the boundaries that I sought to protect, challenging me, and I was ready to fight back. It was like a beast had been uncaged inside me, freed to reap destruction across the world until there was nothing left that might pose a threat to those I protected. These instincts were stronger than any I had ever felt before, and I was terrified that my reason would not hold out against them.

Then, shocking even myself, I suddenly realized that I was loath to let Preventers exact punishment to the worst of these offenders. I wanted the Owner to die by my hands, and I resented the chip for making it even remotely possible that I would miss that chance. My instinct of self-preservation was far less than my lust for bloody retribution.

This realization was so astonishing that I was completely dumbfounded for several minutes, and never heard movement outside or the knock on my door until Wufei quietly admitted himself. My annoyance had fled at my self-realizations, and I must admit that I was grateful for this distraction to keep me from contemplating myself any more deeply. I wasn't sure my heart could take another epiphany of that magnitude.

"Zechs? Can I come in?" Wufei questioned hesitantly at the door, obviously uncertain of his reception.

"Of course," I replied, then smirked at him. "Ready to apologize?"

"I could ask you the same question," he responded stiffly, his pride stung as he angrily closed the door. It was in me to get offended, but in light of my recent discovery it was difficult to regain the righteous anger that I had felt before. I was ready to let the whole thing go, but when Wufei turned to me I saw the irritation in his eyes fade into guilt, and he continued before I could respond.

"I didn't know the suggestion would cause such a fight between you and Miss Sally, and I certainly didn't intend for her to badger you into accepting the chip. However, I still believe it was a good idea for us to have something locate you with in case of an emergency, and frankly I don't see what all the fuss is about," he replied, a mix of guilt and self-righteousness warring in his eyes. I withheld a sigh. There was a perfectly good reason for me to resent the chip, unfortunately there were many reasons that I could not justify my cause to Wufei, one of which was my sense of shame over the senseless violence my heart was seeking, and another of which was that Wufei and the other slaves still had no idea that I was secretly working to save them, nor would they find out until after they were freed.

"I understand your concern for my safety, however, please remember that I also have reasons that you are not privy to," I responded cryptically, and was surprised when Wufei merely nodded his head and accepted my answer. Still, I had to suppose that, spending so much time with the Owner, Wufei was probably fairly accustomed to having secrets kept from him. The notion made me feel a small stab of guilt, but the idea of revealing myself never entered my mind. It would be far too dangerous for Wufei to have that kind of knowledge, for his safety and mine.

"So then you're not still angry?" Wufei asked me, but there was something in his tone that mad me suspicious.

"Not really, why?" I wondered, narrowing my eyes as he approached my desk.

"Etiquette requires that I offer compensation for my behavior. I was hoping I might be able to make amends now for earlier transgressions. And… I was hoping you might offer compensation in return," Wufei said, perching on the side of my desk and giving me that sexy smirk of his.

"What kind of compensation did you have in mind?" I asked, unable to keep the leer out of my voice.

"The kind that requires rigorous physical activity," he replied, his voice getting husky as he slipped off the desk and onto my lap.

_Removed for content._


	158. Heero 157

Master and Wufei joined us for dinner. Master sat at the other end of the table, between Quatre and myself. With other masters I had been with, and of the few that allowed their slaves to eat with them, the dinner table often felt like a kind of interrogation room, with the Master sitting at the end of the table merely so that he could see all of the faces of slaves he was trying to grill for information. With Master, though, being at the end of the table was merely so that he could make contact with all the slaves while he attempted to keep conversation going. It wasn't always easy for him, especially since Trowa and I were always so quite, and because Duo didn't trust Master at first, but Master usually at least managed to get each of us to say a few words about a particular subject, or say something about how are day went. It was strange and uncomfortable at first, to have a Master so interested in such a tedious subject as the personal lives of his slaves, but eventually it created this feeling of… solidarity that I had never felt before. It wasn't like we were replaceable pieces anymore. It was like we were all parts of one, interconnected whole.

Dinner was a calm affair, as usual, with soft conversation about everything from lessons to weather to events of the day. Duo would often talk about his recent exploits on the game system, and Trowa and Wufei would discuss books and literature. Quatre liked to hear stories about the exploits of the rapidly growing kittens in the barn, and I indulged him as much as I could. About the only thing we didn't talk about was the news. Although Master Zechs had never forbade us from seeing the news, other masters generally did not allow it, and since it had very little affect on us slaves anyway we usually weren't interested in it. I had a suspicion that Wufei tried to keep up somewhat with the more universal events, but that was probably the extent of his interest.

Once dinner was over, we all began to gently meander into the den. I don't think any of us did it consciously, but we, as slaves, relied on the constant structure that Master had given us. The repetition seemed to give us a sense of safety and constancy that our previous lives, with the continuous threat of upheaval and change hanging over our heads.

But, as much as I depended on the constancy of the house, I also dreaded movie night, not for myself, but for Duo. It was an uncomfortable position for me, because I understood that Master could not allow Duo to continue to be afraid of touching others, I also hated to see Duo so terrified and helpless. I also disliked seeing him as sullen and unhappy as he looked as everyone began to get ready for the movie. I reached out to him tentatively, uncertain of his reaction, but he wasn't angry as I thought he would be, and he tried to smile as he placed a hand on my arm. I wished I could take all the pain away from him.

But it wasn't my choice, and when Wufei appeared with the box of drugs I backed up and began to leave the scene, unable to witness the pain this was going to cause Duo. A tub on my arm stopped me, though, and I turned to see that Duo was holding onto my sleeve, looking sheepish and needy at the same time. I sighed quietly, realizing that I would not be able to deny him my support when he was asking for it. Without saying anything, I took my place beside Duo, placing a comforting hand on his shoulder. The grateful look on his face was well worth the queasiness I was feeling about witnessing this process for the first time.

Wufei called for Zechs, but when Master arrived he looked stunned, glancing at the box in puzzlement.

"Wufei, what's going on?" he wondered, and now it was Wufei's turn to look confused.

"I thought we were going to have movie night?" he replied, and Zechs finally seemed to understand, but only looked more upset because of it.

"Well, we are… but I hadn't thought we'd put Duo through this tonight. We've all had enough stress lately, so, Duo, if you'd like to skip this movie, that's fine with me. You and Heero could go play some games on the computer, if you'd like," Master said, and I felt grateful for his sensitivity and compassion. I thought Duo would instantly agree to the idea, but instead he frowned and said no.

"Are you sure?" Master asked, a frown on his face as well. Duo nodded, and Master reached for the case.

"Wait," Duo said, and Master paused. "I want… I want to try the movie night without the drugs. I think… I think I can do it."

"Alright," Master agreed instantly, a warm smile coming to his face. "I told you before that if you ever felt you could do this without the drugs we could try, and I meant it. So why don't you and Heero go get the popcorn, and we'll get the movie started."

For a moment, Duo just stood there, stunned. Despite all the time he'd spent here, I don't think Duo had truly come to trust Master yet. It seemed that this, though, might have finally managed to convince him that Zechs was worth trusting, not just tolerating.

I took Duo by the arm and led him into the kitchen, where we popped two bags of popcorn, dumped the bags into a large bowl, and took our accustomed positions on the couch.

Duo was nervous about the evening, but it wasn't the panic stricken nervousness that usually accompanied Duo's mental breakdowns. I saw his hands shaking ever so slightly as we sat down, but it slowed and stopped as I took his hand in my own, lending him the mental support that I wished I could have given him before and slightly easing my sense of guilt over my constant desertion of him. Duo smiled at me gratefully, squeezing my hand to silently tell me he was alright. I nodded in response, then turned to watch the others. Trowa and Quatre were already at the other end of the couch, a tray of festive cups and a pitcher of bright pink liquid on the table in front of them. Quatre had become fairly skilled at making sweet punches with a mixture of berries and juices. As slaves prized foremost for our looks and secondly for our athletic skills, we were all fairly concerned with our diets, and the dishes Quatre made were almost always healthy to fit into the strictest diets, save his extremely fattening desserts. Tonight's beverage seemed to be a strawberry and coconut mix, with a hint of raspberry and a few sprigs of mint.

Wufei came in next, followed by Master. On most nights, the lineup on the couch would start with Trowa on the far end, then Quatre, Wufei, Master, Duo, and me. I think it was more because Master was trying to desensitize Duo's fear of him that Master sat beside Duo, not because of some twisted need to make Duo uncomfortable. On this particular occasion, however, Master proved my theory on the matter by switching places with Wufei when Duo shied away from him. It seemed that Master was willing to let Duo choose who he wanted to sit by, as long as the choice was conscious and not the result of some deep rooted phobia.

The movie, which was some kind of gore/thriller story about a town under siege from mutant squirrels, had us all laughing within minutes. Master generally rotated who got to choose the night's flick, so we all viewed a large variety of movies, with Duo usually picking movies for their gore, Wufei for their attention to detail and plot, Trowa liked mysteries, and Quatre was fond of musicals, while I enjoyed action flicks. Duo, who had picked the movie after complaining about Quatre's "chick flick" choice, now had to endure Quatre's ribbing about his taste in movies. Of course, we all endured some measure of good natured teasing about our likes in movies; even Master, who sometimes surprised us with movies that he had watched when was younger, and pleasantly enduring mild ribbing about his age.

While none of us gave any credit to Duo for his taste in movies, I had to admit that his pick was perfect for the atmosphere of the evening. Instead of feeding off the anxiety already in Duo, the movie allowed him to completely relax and focus on just how bad it was, doing a running commentary between him and Quatre. By the time the first half of the movie was over, Duo and Quatre were on the floor in front of the couch, playing a drinking game with the non-alcoholic beverages where they each took a drink every time someone had their face gored, and two shots if the person lost an eyeball. The result was a rather quickly depleting store of drinks.

As I watched Quatre and Duo play on the floor, now tossing popcorn at the screen as a teenage girl was chased through a parking garage by the squirrels until she eventually tried to escape into an elevator, trapping herself inside with the rodents, I couldn't help but glance in amazement at the man who had made all this possible. Who would have ever thought that someone could, not even tame Shinigami, but make him obey of his own free will? Who would have thought that anyone could calm Dragon enough that he would merely roll his eyes as said girl was disemboweled before the elevator reached the top floor, releasing the squirrels onto a crowd of holiday shoppers? And who would imagine that anyone could heal Trowa enough that he would laugh openly and comment that the squirrels must have good taste in women, since they only dove down the shirt of the blonde with the DD breasts? Or that Quatre would be confident enough to wonder what that signified about the squirrel going up the pant-leg of a dark-haired man? And even more amazing was Master, not only allowing such behavior, but laughing right along with us.

As I stopped to watch master, I noticed that he had also taken his eyes away from the movie, and was now watching Duo with a calculating look. A moment later, he leaned forward and placed his hand on Duo's back. I held my breath, awaiting Duo's reaction. The first thing Duo did was tense and shrug the hand off, seeming to barely even register the invasion of his space as he continued to consult with Quatre over the exact amount of squirrel bites it would take to kill someone. When Master again placed his hand on Duo's shoulder, Duo this time tensed, turned around, and glared. Master, however, leveled an even look back at Duo. They stared at each other for a moment, Duo expressing his displeasure at being touched and Master steadfastly refusing to move, before Duo huffed and turned back to the movie. Master let his hand remain where it was for a few more minutes, then withdrew it with a relieved and satisfied smile.

It was a turning point for Duo, and as happy as I was about it, I had to admit that I felt a keen sense of disappointment that sometime soon Duo would no longer need me. In the past, I had acted as a buffer and a shield between him and Master, but with my constant efforts to bridge the gap between Duo and Master, and with Duo's own efforts to improve himself, it wouldn't be long before the two were able to work together without my help. And then what? All I had left to offer Duo was my body, and I could not offer that without risking the loss of Master. Even if Duo had promised to wait, how long would it be before he began to search for someone more suited to him that I?

It was twisted, I decided, that I should work so hard to bring about something that I dreaded. And yet, for all my own insecurities, I only wanted the best for Duo, and the best thing for him would be to regain his independence and his stability of mind.

Later that night, lying awake in the single bed Duo and I shared, I gave in to temptation and pulled duo's slumbering form into my arms. What would it be like, I wondered, to have his supple body between me legs? Or, conversely, to feel his hot length slide into me? Which would he want? I felt my body stir to life at the thoughts and, since Duo was too far asleep to know, I let it. What would a night of passion with Duo be like? Would it be fast and hard, as so many other things he did were? Or would he capture some of the slow tenderness that Master had shown me? Would he want control, or would he want me to take it? What would it be like, to raise his legs onto my shoulders and press into his liquid fire? What would it be like to stare up at him as he raised my legs and pressed his heat into my core? The thought of it made me hard, and I rocked gently against Duo until he stirred, giving a little moan, and I stopped in fright. I was deathly still as Duo turned his head toward me, and for a moment I thought that he would open his eyes and awake, but he settled again after a moment and went back to sleep.

With a relieved sigh, I turned away from him and condemned myself to wishing away my own lust. Better to burn with the pangs of unfulfilled lust than have Duo awake and ask to couple with me. In the face of such a need as this, I was not certain I would be able to resist him. I could not betray Master over something as selfish as lust, not even with Duo.

And yet, I couldn't help but wonder if it was only the thought of Master Zechs that kept me from fulfilling Duo's desire. After all, I had never asked permission of Master to couple with Duo, so there was no certainty that he would say no. But… perhaps my hesitancy was deeper than loyalty to Master. I could not deny that, even after all this time, I was still somewhat worried that I was only a convenient lay for Duo. He mattered so much to me, like some kind of obsession I watched over him, but what did I mean to him? Were I to sleep with him, would his interest in me end? Was there anything more than that between us? Could there be? And could there be… with Zechs? For certainly I felt a deep connection with my beloved Master, and though I was only his slave I still felt that Master was not keeping me only for my body or my skill, and I was terrified to lose that affection he had for me. But could I gain Duo's affection without losing Master's? Could I be with either of them without the other hating me? Or would they force me to choose, tearing my soul in two to pick which part of my heart I wanted more? Could I ever choose between them?

Did I even have a choice?


	159. Chapter 159

-1You're all going to hate me. I'm going to be putting up a pg version of Cages here, and putting the full version on the adult version of this website. Sorry guys. For more info, visit the forum or email me.

Quatre 158

_Removed for content._

"Penny for your thoughts, Quatre?"

"Uhh…" I mumbled stupidly, blinking and glancing around before I realized that I had made it all the way downstairs and into the kitchen without realizing. Master was staring at me expectantly, and I had to run his comment through my mind again twice before I managed to come up with a suitable answer. "Just thinking about my lessons," I lied hastily.

"Ah. Well, don't stress too much about it. Do you know where Trowa is?"

"He's upstairs… sleeping," I replied, realizing how silly it was of me to walk downstairs for lunch and leave him sleeping.

"Could you go and wake him for lunch?" Master asked, as I had expected he would. Feeling rather silly, I simply nodded and headed back to our bedroom.

I couldn't keep this up. I'd become so distracted by my body lately that I'd become a complete flake. I was constantly getting distracted or becoming forgetful, and my lessons had suffered because of it. Lately I kept having to do the same project two or three times to get it right because I wasn't focusing and I'd miss steps. I even had to look up some recipes I'd mastered weeks ago because my concentration was so messed up. It was like I was getting worse instead of better.

Trowa was already awake when I reached the bedroom, but he had yet to even sit up. Standing in the doorway, I took a moment to notice the changes that had occurred in him since he had arrived. The rail-thin, barely surviving body that he had arrived with had been replaced with the well-toned body of a gymnast. The cord-like muscles in his arms and legs had expended and toned, filling in while still remaining thin and flexible. His face, which had been gaunt and haunted, was now full and relaxed. The mask of indifference that he had worn was still present, but more often put aside to smile or frown with the emotions that he now felt. More than his body, his newly healed mind amazed me, and I couldn't help wanting to get closer to him, both in body and mind.

"Masters says it's time for lunch," I said softly, breaking the revere we both were in. Trowa's turned toward me and I could see something dark flash through them, but it was quickly covered. It had been like this a lot with Trowa lately, ever since I came back from my weekend with Master. There was something about it that bothered him, but I couldn't figure out what it was.

Trowa rose smoothly from the bed, shedding the blanket as he went. His long arms reached out and snagged a shirt from the dresser and he let it fall gently over his head, covering first the skin of his shoulders, then his torso, and finally the few visible inches of skin on his hips, just above where his jeans covered the rest of his pale, creamy body. It was like a reverse strip-tease, and I felt a wave of heat come over me, and was sickened by my own lust, but helpless to stop it. By the time I managed to gain control of myself, Trowa was standing in front of my, looking down with concern.

"Are you alright?" he asked, his soft baritone voice threatening to undo my control once again.

"Mm-hmm," I muttered quickly, trying desperately to keep from panting and wishing that he would back up a bit, at least so that I couldn't feel the heat of his skin.

"Your face is all flushed," Trowa said, frowning in concern as he placed a hand gently on my forehead. I made a tiny gasp at the electric feel of his skin on mine.

"Trowa," I whispered pleadingly.

"What's wrong?" he asked, leaning down so that he could look into my eyes. There was confusion on his face, and a hint of panic in his eyes, so I tried to compose myself, pulling away from him and shaking my head to clear it.

"We should go. Master's waiting," I said, and received a derisive snort in response. Now I was confused.

"Trowa? What's wrong," I wondered as he turned away from me.

"Nothing," he replied, his voice neutral and calm, although I could feel that something was still wrong. "Let's go," he said, and started toward the door.

"Wait," I called, and grabbed his arm to keep him from going, although if he really wanted to leave there was very little I would be able to do to stop him. "I want to know what's wrong. You keep acting like this and you won't tell me why. It's been all hot and cold with you lately, Trowa, and I think I deserve and explanation," I demanded, pulling him around to look at me. At first he wouldn't meet my eyes, but the mood had changed and I knew that if I waited long enough he would at least say something.

"It's nothing," he said, still not looking at me. "I apologize for my behavior, it won't happen again."

"I don't care about your behavior. I want to know what's wrong," I told him, leaning close so that I could stare up into his deep green eyes. He met my gaze only for a moment before looking away, but there were so many emotions fighting inside him that a moment was all I could take.

"It's nothing. It's not your fault," he said, fleeing from me once again. "It's just…"

"Just what? I want to know."

"It's like there's something between us now, some kind of barrier that wasn't there before. You keep pulling away every time I get close and…. I just don't understand," he said softly, pausing to turn back to me. "I know you like Master better than me. You should. Master is better than me, and he has more to offer you, and you're smart for trying to get close to him. But why does being close to him mean you have to be further from me? I thought you liked me at least a little before you left, and we were getting pretty close, but now… Now it seems like you don't like me at all."

"That's not true!" I protested, grabbing his hand and pulling him to face me. "It isn't like that at all! The truth is… the truth is that I probably like you too much. Please understand, I don't want us to get into trouble."

"So I'm not worth the risk."

"Yes! I mean no! I mean… Of course you're worth the risk. But… Trowa… don't you see how badly this could turn out for both of us? Am I worth that risk, Trowa? The risk of being sold to another master? Or back to Marcel? Or the Duke? Because I don't think a moment of pleasure is worth a lifetime of pain, no matter how tempting it is."

His eyes were sad now, half closed with acceptance, and he lowered his head until his bangs covered them.

"I'm sorry," Trowa whispered, "I just get so jealous when you have eyes only for him."

"I have eyes only for him because I dare not turn them on you," I whispered back, placing my hand on his cheek. He raised his eyes to mine and I could feel the magnetic pull drawing us together. His body gravitated toward mine, and my face rose to his. It was wrong. I knew it was wrong, and I was terrified of the consequences. I should have pulled back, but I needed Trowa to understand just how much he meant to me. And… I wanted to know that I meant something to him too. I wanted to feel the kind of affection I'd had with Master, but – heaven forgive me – I wanted Trowa instead.

Our lips met, and I felt a shocking tingle, like electricity, that surged through me. With a moan, I gave in and threw my arms around his neck, trying to get as close as I could. Trowa wrapped his arms around me, pulling me close and giving me a safe feeling even as a part of me worried about consequences. Still, despite the fear of exposure, the kiss was soft and unhurried. I felt Trowa's tongue dart out to taste my lips, and I quickly met his query with one of my own. It was delicious and playful, with soft wet gasps between hot, heavy kissing. But only kissing.

Yet, even in the middle of it, I couldn't help but worry. It was a simple kiss now, but how long would it take before we moved from kissing to something deeper? And how long could we keep this a secret from Master? And, the worst question of all, what would happen when he found out?

I got my answer far sooner than I had expected, as we were so engrossed in passion that both Trowa and myself missed hearing the sound of the door opening.

"Quatre? Is something wrong? You didn't come down and I got wor-…" Master paused. Must have all had the same looks of shock on our faces, with Trowa and I so startled that we had not even untangled from each other, frozen in the very pose that had exposed our guilt. And Master, for his part, was so upset at our betrayal that he could only stare at us with shock.

Master recovered first, his face turning a deep, angry scarlet as he quickly looked away. It was the cue for Trowa and I to jerk away from each other, and we were already separated as Master began to back away.

"Sorry to interrupt," Master muttered, quickly backing up and closing the door. I tried to call after him, but my throat simply wouldn't work, and in the next moment I could hear his footsteps already going down the stairs. I turned to Trowa, and we stared at each other in shock and horror.

"What should we do?" I a frightened voice gasp, and a moment later realized the voice was mine. Trowa, who had fallen onto the bed on the other side of the room, merely shook his head. "What should we do? What should we do? He… I… We can't…" I muttered incoherently. Everything was happening so fast, everything was going so wrong, and suddenly I couldn't breathe. The room was spinning and everything was moving so fast. What was happening?

Strong arms enveloped me, and Trowa's voice began to soothe me as his heartbeat sounded in my ear.

"Just breathe. Everything will be fine. We'll make it fine," he told me softly, rocking me even as I felt his body quivering just as hard as mine. "I won't lose you," he told me, and there was such a conviction in his voice that I couldn't help but believe him. I pushed myself up out of Trowa's lap, only then realizing that I had fallen to the ground in panic. I was breathing normally again, but perhaps still looking a little frantic as I faced Trowa determinedly.

"If we want Master to keep up, then we have to show him that we'll do anything for him, no matter what. We have to… to do something drastic. He needs to know we're loyal to him."

"But… Quatre, maybe we should talk to Master first…"

"Did you see how mad he was?" I asked him, frustrated that he couldn't see how serious this was. "He was red in the face with rage and completely disgusted with us. He could barely even manage to make a comment before running out of here! He thinks we completely betrayed him by choosing each other over his instructions! We've got to prove that we're good slaves, and that he's the only thing that matters!"

"So then… we're back to where we started?" Trowa wondered morbidly, and the sadness in his voice made me pause. If we went through with this and proved to Master that he meant everything to us, then we were also proving that we meant nothing to each other, and we would once again be unable to show any kind of affection to one another.

"It's better than losing you completely," I protested in a whisper. "Please, Trowa, I can't lose you. Please," I begged, finally releasing the tears that had been threatening to fall. "Please…"

He pulled me to him, letting me hide my face in his shirt as I cried and mourned the short love we had shared. We held each other for as long as we dared, and finally I heard Trowa murmur, "I'll do it."

But what could we do?

Zechs 159

I was a little ashamed of how I reacted to finding Trowa and Quatre kissing. It was, after all, what I had hoped they would do all along, and a natural part of normal teenage interactions… well, excusing the fact that they were both boys, but that wasn't abnormal, just less common. Regardless, I was actually quite pleased that they had managed to take this step on their own and were making progress in creating a solid relationship. They certainly weren't rushing things, and I was also happy that they felt comfortable enough with sex to be able to initiate it with each other without fear. All around, it was a good step.

So why in the world had I reacted like some old biddy, blushing and running from the room like I'd never seen a pair of boys make out? And yet I couldn't deny that I had been completely embarrassed and strangely unnerved at finding them in such a compromising position. I had blushed from the roots of my hair all the way down to my neck, and unable to utter anything more than a hast apology before darting out of the room. Lord knows what the boys must have thought of my peculiar reaction. They'd probably never seen a master embarrassed in front of his own slaves.

That thought gave me pause. More than what the boys thought, what would the other masters think if I showed up to Collar and was completely unused to seeing my slaves interact with one another sexually. Even more than my slaves' awkwardness around each other, my embarrassment would reflect badly on my ability to be a master. It seemed more important than ever that I instruct the boys to… become more familiar with one another while I was gone, and it seemed that I also need to become familiar with working with more than one of them at a time.

Of course, first I would need to become more familiar with having sex with each of them individually. I had only had any kind of creative sex with Heero and Trowa, and I had only been with Wufei and Quatre a handful of times, and I had never laid a hand on Duo. I was somewhat concerned with the progress I was making with my slaves in this area. On the one hand, I had made significant progress with Quatre, although the other masters probably wouldn't see it. And I could excuse Duo's behavior because he was a champion and also notoriously unstable and likewise with Wufei, but that left me with only two slaves to perform at the Collar parties. On top of that, both Trowa and Heero were notoriously shy, Heero because of a body-image problem and Trowa out of fear of inadequacy. It would be hard to show off my skills as a master without pushing these two past their limits.

Honestly, though, practice seemed to be the largest problem I was having. The boys tended to use sex as a mechanism to gain physical reassurance, so they only sought sex when they were uncertain of their place or my feelings. As such, they tended to be pretty much disinterested in sex otherwise, and it was hard for me to pursue them in the face of such apathy. I mean, they were certainly willing and interested enough once I initiated an encounter, but they seemed completely unable to take any initiative on their own. Wufei had hunted me up on his own once, but it was the first time any of the boys initiated sex with me just because they wanted to, and the action had yet to be repeated. Lately, with all the chaos and stress of the house, I just hadn't been feeling up to pursuing the boys when they seemed just as happy without sex.

And yet, I had to admit, the problem wasn't totally with everyone else. I had been getting way too stressed lately. The assignment was just so important that I was losing sleep, second guessing my decisions, and worrying over every little detail. Did I do the right thing with Duo? And Trowa? And Quatre? What would the effect be on their performances? How would it affect my standings? There were just so many variables to consider, so many pros and cons to consider, that it was beginning to take its toll on me. I was ashamed to admit it, but I had begin taking pills to improve my stamina and concentration, to calm my nerves and keep me focused. I was in way over my head… but it was far too late to go back now.

Lunch was an awkward affair, and I tried to distract myself from my feelings of uneasiness by engaging Wufei in a lively debate. So lively, in fact, that I forgot about wanting to explain my earlier actions to Quatre and Trowa, and it was well into their afternoon lessons before I remembered. I decided to try to catch them both right before dinner. Quatre was usually finished with cooking a little early and Trowa did his chores at that time, so I would be able to explain myself to both of them without being interrupted by the others, who were all in various lessons until dinner.

But when I entered the kitchen, Trowa and Quatre were nowhere to be found. Dinner was ready and waiting on the stove, and the dishes were all finished and put away, but the boys were already gone. I made a quick search of the downstairs, but finding no hint of the two I decided to return to my office, lest I stumble upon them trying to find a private moment again.

It was then that I noticed the note taped to my office door, and began to feel uneasy as I took it down and began to read.

_We would like to apologize for our earlier behavior. Our wills bend only to yours. We will wait for your commands in the basement. We would like a chance to prove our loyalty._

_Humbly yours,_

_Q & T_

"Screw it all, Quatre, I thought we were past this," I cursed to myself, crumpling the note and hurry toward the basement stairs. "And dragging Trowa in as well? What could have him so upset?" I wondered allowed, but there wasn't time to contemplate the answer. If it was anything like last time, Quatre had probably set himself up to be punished, or maybe he had even convinced Trowa to start it for me. The thought gave me a shudder, but I wouldn't put it past Quatre and I wasn't sure Trowa's reason would hold out against Quatre's debate skills, especially since the acrobat was smitten with the aggravating little blond. I dashed down the stairs, hoping to see the boys in the front part of the basement, but unsurprised to find that they had picked the old storage room for the site of their insanity instead of the front part that we used for laundry.

In the past, the storage room had been used to house anything from equipment to decorations to antiques, but when the house was converted into a summer cottage all the items were cleared out, leaving a space about the size of the den and living room combined. It was unfinished, with cement floors, concrete walls, beams and pipes exposed, and the barest of lighting. It wasn't really a place that a person would willingly stay for any amount of time, but the light under the door, along with the sounds of panting, murmured words and panicked sobs, assured me that two of my boys were in there. I threw open the door.

Inside, it looked more like a holding cell for war prisoners than a basement. Both boys were naked, bound, and frightened. Quatre was standing on tiptoe, his hands tied around a pipe above his head while he scrambled and kicked, trying to get away from whip that was lying harmlessly on a table beside him. On the other side of the table, Trowa had managed to shackle himself to a beam that was supporting the floor above us, although I couldn't even guess where he managed to find a pair of handcuffs. Trowa was leaning over the table, trying to comfort the obviously panicked Quatre even while his own eyes kept darting fearfully down toward the needles that were also lying on the table.

"…I can't! I can't! I can't! I thought I could but I can't!" Quatre yelled incoherently, jerking on the ropes that bound him. "Please, you have to let me down! Please!"

"You have to calm down, Quatre. I can't get you free. I can't reach the keys. You know that. This was your plan. We have to wait for Master now. Just breathe," Trowa soothed, even though his voice was strained with his own fear.

And suddenly, with Trowa's calm faith in my abilities, we were no longer alone in the basement, but in a cell at Collar surrounded by armed guards, and I was helpless to watch as they tortured and killed Trowa and Quatre. I didn't even know where Duo, Heero, and Wufei were or what unspeakable acts were happening to them, but one of the armed monsters was whipping Quatre, and the other stabbing pins into Trowa's skin and laughing as he screamed. And it was all my fault. I had gotten them into this, naively promising to protect them, when all that was certain was danger. I fell to the floor, completely frozen and unable to make the slightest move to help the boys that had come to mean so much to me. They would all die, and it was my fault.

"I can't! I can't go through with it! Let me down!" Quatre yelled, fighting the restraints with all his might, and his panic managed to shock me out of my nightmare and back into reality. The guards disappeared and I was left with two frightened boys who needed my help. I sprinted across the room, my blood still pounding in my ears, and began trying to untie him, but Quatre was too panicked to notice me and continued to struggle, even as I fought to free him and Trowa tried to calm him. I almost had him untied when Quatre's struggles finally peaked, and I could only watch in horror as Quatre's foot kicked over the table between them, sending a burst of needles flying toward Trowa. At the feel of metal on his skin, Trowa lost all conscious thought to panic, and a moment later was hurling himself away from us. With his feet firmly on the floor, Trowa had far more leverage than Quatre and began yanking on the cuffs with all his might. I finally managed to get Quatre loose and let him sink to the floor as I turned to Trowa. There was already blood pouring down his wrists when I reached him, and it took me a moment to realize that I would be helpless to release Trowa without the key. I grabbed Trowa around the middle to keep him from hurting himself more and yelled for Quatre to get the key. For a moment I thought Quatre might be too frightened to hear me, but then to my great relief I saw him move and pick up the key from the floor.

"I'll hold him while you undo the locks," I told him evenly as I struggled to hold Trowa's thrashing form. The task was made even more difficult when we found that Trowa's wrists were slick from the blood covering them, but he finally managed just as I lost my hold on Trowa who, now free, bolted for the stairs.

I bolted immediately after Trowa, afraid that he might be frightened enough to hurt himself, and I heard Quatre following at my heels. There was a strange sense of dei ja vou as I herded Trowa toward the stairs, finally corralling him in my bedroom. Quatre came darting in a moment later, and I closed the door to ensure that we wouldn't have another chase on our hands.

For a minute, we all just tried to catch our breath, with Trowa on his knees leaning against the bed, Quatre kneeling next to him looking both terrified and worried, and me leaning against the door and trying to purge my brain every image I had seen in the past few minutes.

I was right on the verge of a breakdown. It was so tempting to run and get Wufei, because I just wasn't sure I could deal with this. But Trowa was wounded and bleeding rather badly, and Quatre was shaking and probably on the verge of shock, so my sense of responsibility won out in the end. Realizing that neither Quatre or Trowa were in any shape to run from me, I made a quick trip to the bathroom and grabbed the first aide kit.

Other than the shaking, it wasn't hard to clean up Trowa's wrists. They actually weren't as badly cut as they seemed, and he had only managed to bruise them with his efforts to get free. I wrapped them tightly even though he probably didn't need it, then turned my attention to calming the two boys down. I grabbed a couple of spare blankets from the closet to counter the shock, wrapped the boys up, and sat them down on the bed.

And then I finally gave in to temptation and just lay down between them. I pulled them into my arms and just held them as their shivers gradually decreased and my heart-rate decreased. I knew I should be mad, or, at the very least, trying to figure out what had prompted the boys to act so rashly, but in the end they were still just a pair of teenagers who had managed to frighten themselves silly over probably nothing. And they had managed to frighten me pretty well, too. Really, I think I was just too happy to have them safe to get mad. Maybe later I'd be able to, but not right now.

I must have dosed off, because the next thing I knew there was a gentle knocking on the door, and it opened softly to reveal Wufei, who cautiously peaked in. He seemed surprised at what he saw, and I couldn't blame him as I untangled myself from the naked forms of Trowa and Quatre, just noticing the tear-stains still on their faces. Careful not to wake them, I left the room, shutting the door behind me.

"What…?" Wufei wondered, stunned. "What's going on, Zechs? It's a quarter after six and dinner hasn't been served. When the three of you didn't show up I assumed you must have needed Quatre and Trowa for something, but… what in the world were you doing?"

"It isn't my doing," I defended, a little more gruffly than intended, feeling a little stung from Wufei's off-handed insult. "Quatre must have been upset about something, and he convinced Trowa go along with him this time. They intended for me to… punish them for some infraction that I know nothing about. I never thought Quatre would try something like this again, or get Trowa to go along with it."

"Again?" Wufei wondered, and I almost flinched at my slip. I really didn't want to explain all this right now. I had such a terrible headache.

"We had a… misunderstanding once before that turned out like this, but I thought I'd made it clear to him that I would punish when and how I felt necessary."

"It must be something big, then, if he's upset enough to do something so drastic against your orders. Have you said anything lately that might have upset him? Or done anything?"

"Quatre's had a bit of a backslide in his lessons lately, but it's nothing to worry about. I certainly didn't say anything about it, and I don't know why Trowa would get involved for that. And Trowa's been doing fine in his lessons."

"Something that involves the both of them, then?"

"I don't think so. I mean… I did catch Trowa and Quatre kissing the other night, but I didn't say anything about it."

"Oh," Wufei replied gravely, his eyes lowering to the floor. "They must have realized you found out, and are trying to prove their loyalty," he said, and I had to wonder at how he had made the connection between an innocent kiss and being disloyal to me. I certainly wasn't seeing it. "Will you sell them, then?"

"What? Why the hell would I do that? And why does everyone always jump to that conclusion? No, I'm not going to sell Quatre or Trowa, understand? It was just a stupid kiss."

"Are you serious?" Wufei asked me sternly as he stopped analyzing the floor to peer into my eyes, trying to figure out if I were lying, I suppose. "Did you know that kissing another slave without the master's permission is punishable by death in Collar? That slaves who disobey this rule are generally drawn and quartered? That others have been hung, starved, or whipped to death? You should be flattered that Quatre and Trowa were only afraid that you would sell them, especially since you never gave any sign that you would allow them to have sex, let alone to kiss or show signs of affection. It is the worst possible crime for a slave to fall in love, and you have to see that Quatre and Trowa are doing just that. Love… makes slaves do stupid things. The most dangerous thing for a master is to have a slave in love enough to rise up against him. I'm not saying that Quatre or Trowa would ever do that, but… love is a dangerous thing."

It made perfect sense, of course. It was hard for me to imagine how I hadn't figured it out before. Then again, everything about Collar made cruel, terrifying sense. To be denied even the right to fall in love… to be unable to touch another human being without the permission of a master… it was life less than dogs. No wonder it was so hard for Quatre to trust me. No wonder Duo had so many problems with me. How they had ever managed to someone who they thought was a part of this hideous system was beyond me, but they had and now I would both have to live up to the expectations of a master and try to keep the boys living as normal a life as possible. I would not punish any of the boys for falling in love. How could I deny them the ability to strengthen relationships that they had never been able to have before? How could I deny them what little comfort they could find in a world that was turning out to be far crueler than I could have imagined? And yet… what was I to do?

"Let's go to dinner."

"Zechs…are you sure? Should I wake the others?"

"No. Let them sleep and we'll make a plate for them when they wake up. Just… just give me a moment," I told him, and slipped quickly back into the room. On the bed, Quatre and Trowa had curled together, with Trowa cradling his injured wrists to his chest while Quatre was chewing on his knuckles in his sleep. Too refined to bite his nails and too old to suck his thumb, Quatre had taken to the nervous gesture of biting his fist in times of disquiet, and it seemed that he was upset enough now to do it even in his sleep.

But I bypassed the bedroom and headed straight for the bathroom, quickly grabbing a well-worn bottle and swallowing a pill to help calm my nerves. Then I headed straight back for the hall, barely allowing myself to cast a glance at the pair on the bed. My head was hurting enough without thinking about this.

"Are you sure you don't want me to bring something up for you?" Wufei asked as we headed for the stairs.

"No. Why?"

"It's just… you're horribly pale. Are you sure you don't want to lie down?"

"I'm fine. I just had a bit of a shock, that's all."

"I know you haven't been sleeping well lately. You should really take better care of yourself. You can't be getting much sleep with all the worrying you do," he said, and I almost laughed aloud. Not like I'd be getting any sleep tonight, I wanted to say. If the worrying doesn't keep me up, I'm sure the nightmares will.

"You worry too much," I told him, and Wufei actually did scoff in response.

"You're one to talk."

"Oh, hush. Let's just eat dinner, alright?"

We Heero and Duo that Quatre and Trowa been in an argument and we were letting them cool off until after dinner. It wasn't entirely inaccurate, since there had definitely been a difference in wills, but the two wills contending had been theirs and mine. Regardless, Heero let it drop and managed to convince Duo to do so as well after a few well-aimed kicks under the table. Dinner was awkwardly quiet, but I was just glad for a moment to let the drugs try to combat my headache. With only eating to focus on, everyone managed to finish quickly. When everyone was finished eating I instructed them to clean up and wait for me in the den, while I went to fetch Quatre and Trowa.

In the bedroom, both boys were awake and talking in worried, hushed tones.

"I think it was this kind of behavior that caused all the trouble in the first place," I said as I entered, startling both boys into bolting upright.

"Master, please, just let me explai-…"

"Not right now, Quatre," I said, cutting him off. "If you had said something before none of this might have happened, but right now I want you to listen," I said and tried not to feel a sting of guilt when their faces fell with guilt and fear. "Just listen to me. Neither of you are in trouble… Well, that's not quite true," I said, giving Quatre a piercing stare that he shrank from. "You're in trouble because we've gone over this before, but I'll talk to you about that later. And you," I said, turning to Trowa, "are in trouble because you went along with it and I expected you to be more reasonable than that. But we'll talk about that later as well. For right now I want both of you to come downstairs and listen while I have a discussion with everyone, alright? You can have dinner afterwards," I told them, and thankfully they were both too upset to argue with me, because I was really starting to run out of patience. Both boys dressed quickly and then followed me downstairs to sit with the others in the den.

"It has come to my attention that some masters do not allow their slaves the freedom to display affection with whomever they choose. So listen well: I don't care. You can be affectionate with whomever you want whenever you want, alright? You have my permission," I told them simply, and they all just stared at me dumbstruck. Duo was the first to recover.

"So we can have sex?"

"If you choose," I replied, know how touchy a subject sex was with Duo, but Duo just grinned brilliantly at Heero, who glared and rolled his eyes.

"What about… what about kissing?" Quatre asked timidly and the others, even Duo, grew still and serious.

"It's fine with me as long as it's fine with the other person," I stipulated.

"You can't be serious," Duo snapped at me, suddenly going into one of his angry moods. "Why be a master at all if you're going to let everyone do whatever they want?" he said, giving me a glare that told me he thought I was lying. "What's your angle?" he asked. Looking at the others, I realized suddenly that none of them understood or believed either.

I sighed. I didn't have the patience to explain this like I normally would, and my head was still aching despite the drugs I had taken. So… there was only one thing I could think to do, but I didn't like it, and I was a little angry that I still had to prove myself to these boys once again. I knew it was silly to think I could overcome years of damage in only a few months but… I was getting so tired of fighting the same fights over the same problems. Were we making progress at all?

"Quatre, come here," I ordered. Hesitantly, Quatre rose from his seat and approached me. And then, much to everyone's astonishment, I pulled the blonde into my lap and kissed him deeply. After a moment, I turned my attention back to the group.

"Does anyone have a problem with this?" I asked seriously, looking around the room and making sure to make eye contact with Trowa. All the boys, dumbstruck, shook their heads.

"Heero, now you," I ordered, and repeated the process with the same results.

"Does anyone have a problem with this? No? Then there's no goddamned reason for me to have a problem with any of you kissing or doing anything with each other. As long as it doesn't affect your training or your interaction with me, then I don't care. And actually…" I said, suddenly coming down from the angry rush I had been on as I remembered the upcoming parties that I would be forced to attend. "Actually, you should all start getting more used to being close to one another. The Collar parties will be starting in a few weeks, and you will probably be asked to perform with one another in various sexual acts. I don't like forcing any of you to do things you don't like to, but I can't make any promises about what I'll ask you to do. So I would recommend you get used to each other. I'll be going on a business trip for a week coming up very soon, so you might want to get closer to each other during that time. I will promise you that no one else at Collar– not other masters or other slaves – will touch you, but if a master asks to see any of you pair up… I'll probably make you do it. So… it would be best if you were ready for such an outcome."

And that's all I had in me for the night. I went to bed.


	160. Chapter 160 162

160 Trowa

Quatre and I didn't have sex that evening. With everything that had happened, it just didn't seem like the right time. After Master's hasty proclamation and retreat to bed, Quatre and I ate dinner in silence, then joined the others in going to bed.

Duo took the news of our new freedoms better than expected. He had always been so skittish about anything relating to sex that I had expected him to retreat when Master urged us to have sex, but to the contrary he actually began to actively pursue Heero.

Which is why, when Quatre and I climbed the stairs for bed, we found him pounding on his bedroom door.

"Heero? Come on, man, I was just joking about the strip-tease. Can't you take a joke?"

"And what about the sex?" Heero replied from within the room.

"Well… hell, weren't you waiting for permission to sleep with me? Then why should we wait?"

"I refuse to be the bottom, and I would prefer if you refrained from making crude comments about my rear in front of others."

"It was just Wufei! You know he's wound tighter than a tire-rod anyway."

"That's no excuse, and that doesn't even make sense. And I still refuse to bottom."

"Why not? You bottom for Zechs!"

"You're not Zechs."

"Well… fine! But I'm not going to bottom either, so there!"

"Then we're not having sex tonight."

"You're damn right we're not… Hey! What the hell? I wanna have sex!"

"I'll let you back in the room if you promise to behave and no molest me in my sleep."

"Ch. Fine. Who'd be dumb enough to grope you while you slept anyway? You'd probably just yank my nuts off and be done with it," Duo said, sulking as Heero opened the door and let him in. Beside me, I heard Quatre snicker. It was a nice sound, especially since Quatre had been pretty depressed since we woke up. I think he starting to have doubts about our earlier actions. I certainly was. It was hard enough for Quatre to convince me to go along with the plan, and now that I had seen the pain it caused to Master I sincerely wished I had managed to convince Quatre not to do it.

But when Quatre had talked about it, everything had made perfect sense. Had I let myself be swayed because I felt guilty? Because I felt like I needed to be punished? And didn't it just add to my guilt that I could have stopped Quatre, that I could have convinced him not to go through with it, and I let him go because of my own feelings. Because I was feeling so guilty about forcing him to admit an affection that I knew he felt for me and then taking out my jealousy on him. And because I was such a coward that I needed him to admit his feelings before I could come forward with mine.

That night, I could barely sleep. My throbbing wrists were a constant reminder of my shame, and every time I closed my eyes I could see Quatre's frightened, tear-streaked face begging me to let him go.

The next morning, Master didn't wake up for breakfast. Wufei came downstairs looking ragged and exhausted, and then announced that Master had not slept well and would not be joining us for breakfast. It sent another jolt of guilt down my spine, but I'd felt that feeling so often lately that I was becoming immune to it. Quatre wasn't, though, and his small form radiated anguish as Wufei took a tray of breakfast up to Master's room. I finished eating as fast as I could and fled the room, unable to stand seeing Quatre's pain on top of my own.

It was Saturday, which we generally spent either relaxing or going on an outing, and since Master didn't seem well enough for any kind of trip I decided to take a long bath with my free time. I hoped that it might soothe my sore wrists, as well as washing away the sweat and blood from last night's tragedy.

There was a larger communal bathroom on the second floor, which Heero, Wufei, Quatre and I took turns using during the week. Duo wouldn't go near it because the lock on the door had broken off and never been replaced, but the huge, claw footed bathtub inside was wonderful for long, hot baths to ease tension and relax sore muscles.

And I had plenty of tension to relax away, but the bath just wasn't doing its job. After twenty minutes, I was wrinkly but no less stressed, with my stomach still in knots and my mind a whirlwind of thoughts and emotions. I wondered if I should get Wufei to teach me some meditation techniques, then remembered that he's been up half the night with Master. That thought just made me feel even worse, so I submerged my head under the water. Maybe if I couldn't hear or see I wouldn't feel so awful.

But all I could think about was Quatre. His face, laughing, crying, happy, sad. It haunted me. I wondered if he'd ever forgive me, or if he even knew what I'd done. I thought about telling him, about purging myself of this guilt, but he was so kind-hearted that he'd forgive me, and I wasn't sure I deserved it. Perhaps this suffering was what I deserved for failing Quatre repeatedly and so completely.

When I resurfaced, I could still see Quatre's face, but this time it was smiling at me, looking a little shy, a little embarrassed, but mostly happy and mischievous. It was the way I remembered him in our happiest time, though the embarrassment I could see was a little out of place for my daydreams. Still, I smiled back at him, happy at least to see the shadow of pain gone from his face. I reached for his face, but kept my hand just a hair's breadth from touching his skin. I knew if I touched it the dream would end, and I wanted it to last forever. Then Quatre closed his eyes and leaned his cheek against my palm as I prepared for the illusion to disappear.

But nothing happened. I could feel his warm skin against mine, and I realized with a shock that this was real.

"Quatre?" I wondered, startled. "What…. What are you doing here?"

"I wanted a bath," he said, climbing into the bath with me.

_Portion removed for content. See my profile for a link to LIvejournal, where the full version is posted._

It wasn't until I laid down beside him and saw tears running down his face that I became worried.

"Quatre?" I gasped, feeling the bottom of my stomach drop with fear that I had hurt my love. But I had been so careful, how could this happen? "What hurts?" I asked him, rising to my knees beside him, but Quatre just shook his head. "Quatre? Please, love, what's wrong?"

"Nothing," he said, opening his eyes and smiling at me. "Everything's fine now," he assured me, pulling me down to share a passionate kiss. "I just love you so much, and I know you love me too now," he whispered against my lips. "You'll never leave me, right?"

"Never," I promised him, laying down and pulling him into my arms. He fit perfectly against my body, curling into my arms as though he had been made to fit there, or I had been made to fit him.

Then, tired and content, we fell asleep on the bathroom floor, without a care for the first time in far too long.

161 Heero

The fact that Quatre and Trowa were having sex and we had not irked Duo more than could be reasonably expected. He sat in our room for the better part of fifteen minutes glaring at the wall and ignoring the math book on his lap. He would sigh, every so often, then look back at the book for a minute, but moments later his eyes would seemingly involuntarily be pulled back to the wall, which did not deaden the sound of Quatre's panting yelps or Trowa's deep moans.

I wasn't sure why I was refusing to have sex with Duo. I had certainly had sex with worse in the past, I was no longer afraid that Master would be upset by it, and I was rather sexually frustrated myself, so there was absolutely no logical reason for me to be putting it off like this.

Some of it was the fun of driving Duo completely bonkers, partially in revenge for all the trouble he put me through. A part of it, I think, was the perverse novelty of being able to say no to sex, even if it wasn't the best option. I'd never had a choice in sex before. Certainly there had been times that it was enjoyable, and there were times that I had managed to manipulate events to gain or avoid sex, but the choice of whether or nor to have sex had never truly been in my hands. Duo probably had a lot more experience with refusing to have sex and actually getting his way so it wasn't such a strange experience for him, but for me it was a completely new experience that I wasn't quite ready to stop.

But that wasn't all of it, and I knew it wasn't. As much as I hated to admit it, I was afraid to have sex with Duo. Not because I thought he would be rough or the sex would be bad, but because I was afraid of the changes this would cause in the relationship between Duo and me. Could it even be called a relationship? And, if so, what did that mean for what Master and I had? If I started a relationship with Duo, was I labeling my relationship with Master as nothing more than master and slave? Master had said that he was fine with his slaves creating relationships amongst one another as long as jealousies did not arise. But what about preferences? If I preferred to be with Duo instead of Master, would that put a strain on the two relationships? How could I be expected to maintain control over the situation if I could not decipher what the outcome of this event would be? It was illogical to have sexual relations with Duo if it would throw the balance of all the relationships off. Quatre and Trowa were allowing their emotions to lead them into a dangerous situation, but I was more rational. I would not allow this impulsive and superficial satisfaction lead me into ruin.

And yet, after all the logic I threw at it, why was I still so tempted?

Duo wasn't making any progress on his work anyway, so I led him down to the pool for a distraction. I had hoped to swim a few laps and let Duo bathe in the sun, but once at the water Duo provoked a rather lengthy water battle and then challenged me to several swimming races, which I won, but far less easily than I had done so in the past.

It reminded me just how quickly Duo was recovering and I took a moment to just look at him. He had gained back most of the weight his injuries had caused him to lose, and he had gained back even more muscle tone than he'd had when he came to us, but it was less wiry and more supple. He looked less rough and ragged, but stronger and more lithe. Yoga and gymnastics combined with swimming and weight lifting had given Duo a trim, limber form with slim, well-muscled arms and a taunt belly with sculpted outline of abs. Water ran in rivulets down his chest and over his stomach, disappearing at the waistband of his trunks. He was still grinning like a lunatic, panting from our last race as he wrung the water out of his braid.

"Damn, 'Ro, couldn't you have let me win one race? Man, I'm not going to keep playing if you always kick my ass."

"I won't be able to keep beating you like this if you continue the way you are. You're doing remarkably better than the last time we raced."

"Gee, Heero, I think that was almost a compliment. I'm flattered."

"It was a compliment, baka. You're doing very well, especially having so recently recovered."

"Aww!" Duo gushed, giving me a teasing grin as I climbed the latter out of the pool. "'Ro, you're so sweet. Pretty soon I'm going to think you're just trying to get into my pants."

"Yeah," I replied sarcastically, snatching the towel from his hands. He laughed some more, a deep, throaty sound that made me grin along with him. If Duo could still laugh this way, even with everything that had been going on, then things couldn't be so bad.

"Come on, let's go get a shower before lunch," Duo suggested, "I'll let you scrub my back," Duo offered, but I knew he was kidding. Duo had come far from the paranoid mental case that he had been before, but he still couldn't stand to have anyone with him when he bathed. It was a phobia he might never overcome. Still, that he was comfortable enough to let me swim with him was progress in itself.

"I think I'll pass. My hair won't mat if I don't immediately wash out the chlorine, and I wanted to check on Master anyway."

"Eh, you're loss," he quipped, snatching the dry towel from the chair and wrapping it around his shoulders before heading inside. I dried off as well as I could with the damp towel before following behind him.

I quickly changed clothes, snorting at Duo's off-key singing that echoed from the small bathroom in our room as I left to see Master. I could hear Wufei's footsteps upstairs in the library, probably preparing lessons for Trowa and Duo, and I smiled. I had hoped Wufei would be away from Master's side. While I wasn't worried that he would be able to deny me entrance to Master's room, I didn't want to fight about it if he thought Master shouldn't be disturbed. I somewhat doubted that Master was still asleep, though, and I wouldn't wake him if he was still sleeping.

It turned out that Master wasn't asleep when I entered his room, but he wasn't quite awake either. He was in that groggy, in-between stage between sleeping and waking, and woke enough to ask a garbled, "Who's there?" when I entered the room.

"I wanted to see how you were," I said softly, kneeling beside the bed. Master pushed himself up with one arm, pushing his hair out of his eyes as he blinked and struggled to get his eyes to focus on my face.

"Heero?" he asked groggily. "Wha-… What time is it?"

"Almost noon, Master," I told him. He blew his breath out heavily and rolled his eyes as he tossed himself back down to the bed, covering his eyes with his arm.

"Why didn't anyone wake me?" he asked, but his voice wasn't angry or annoyed.

"It's Saturday. Besides, you seemed like you needed the sleep."

"I've been sleeping. What I need to do is get back to work," he said, but didn't make an immediate move to get out of bed. "Still, I guess I can be a little lazy," he said, then moved his arm so he could meet my eyes and smile at me. "Come on, talk to me," Master instructed, pulling back the covers and patting the bed beside him. I climbed into the bed eagerly and slipped into his arms, molding my body against his. I felt something relax in my mind, and only then realized just how worried I had been about Master.

"How had everything been with you? We haven't talked much this week," Master said, stroking my hair. I could feel his breath on my ear and I had to suppress the urge to bury myself in his arms and never come out.

"Everything's been fine, Master. My training is coming well."

"I didn't ask about your training," Master replied calmly. The feel of his fingers in my hair was soothing, and I didn't really feel like talking.

"I'm sorry," I whispered, not knowing what else to say. I was afraid Master would be annoyed with me, but he just smiled gently and changed the subject.

"How are Quatre and Trowa? I know I left them a bit abruptly last night."

"They seem to have recovered well. They had sex this morning."

"Eh…" Master said, stilling his hand for a moment. "Really? That was fast."

"Are you displeased?" I wondered, hoping that I hadn't gotten Quatre and Trowa in trouble. Master had given his permission, and he had never been the type of master to test or torment his slaves by telling them one thing and meaning another. Still, his reaction worried me, but only until Master responded.

"No, I'm not mad, I'm just surprised that they took that step so soon. They were so upset about kissing yesterday that I'm a little shocked they moved so quickly onto having sex."

"But it really wasn't the kissing that they were upset about. They had chosen to fulfill their own and each other's needs over obeying an unspoken command from their master. There is far more risk in those actions than in merely having sex. There shouldn't be any risk in having sex now that you've given us permission. As long as both parties are willing, it shouldn't be anything dramatic or influential. It's really not a big deal."

"But it is a big deal, isn't it?" Master asked, and I had to wonder if he had been listening to me at all. I had just said it wasn't. "Oh, I don't mean that sex should be a big deal. I'm not so naïve as to think you boys aren't more than used to sleeping with perfect strangers and people you don't even like. But, if I'm not mistaken, none of you have ever been in this particular situation before, have you? Where you're allowed to sleep with or deny whoever you want, at least for the time being? And that choice creates a whole other side to sex, as I'm fairly sure you realize. Or was Duo pounding on someone else's door last night and asking for forgiveness?"

"He was not asking for forgiveness," I pointed out stubbornly. Zechs grinned.

"Mm. I only remember bits of that conversation, but it had something to do with inappropriate comments to Wufei, and Duo having his balls ripped off?"

"Something like that," I said, turning away so that Master couldn't see me blush. Of all the parts of that conversation he could overhear…

"So are you going to tell me that you did sleep with Duo, or were you just denying his requests for sex because it was fun?"

"It was kind of fun," I admitted sullenly, not really liking where this conversation was going.

"You know I can see right through you, right? Even half asleep like this, I know you're here because you're worried about your relationship with Duo, and you want me to fix it," he said, and I really was shocked at Master's ability to read me. Was I that transparent? "Unfortunately, Heero, I can't fix this problem for you," Master admitted. "I can offer you advice, and I can give you reassurances, but this is something that you have to do on your own and for yourself. I can't take this burden from you."

"I'm so afraid," I heard myself wonder before I even realized I was speaking. "What if I mess this up? What if I mess everything up? I can't fail you, and I don't want to fail Duo."

"You don't need to worry about failing me. I've already told you, the relationship you have with me and the one you have with Duo are separate. As for your relationship with Duo, all I can tell you is that relationships like this, with two people who like each other trying to get together, aren't about failing anyone. You can't fail at a relationship unless you don't try. Sometimes relationships just don't work out. You may not be what Duo needs, and you can't make yourself into anything but what you are. You just have to try your hardest and hope everything works out."

"And what if it doesn't?"

"Then you should end it. You can still be friends even if you don't work very well as lovers. You can't be lovers if you don't work very well at being friends, though, so you've already got one step done in the relationship. I want you to realize, Heero, that a relationship isn't just about sex, but I think sex is a crucial part of a relationship, especially at your age. If you don't have sex, you could remain friends forever. But if you do have sex, and you can maintain the relationship, then you'll be closer to each other than you've ever been with anyone. It's a risk, but it's worth it in the end."

"What should I do?" I wondered softly. I could understand everything Master was saying, but my brain couldn't keep up with all the pros and cons. It couldn't weigh the advantages of something I'd never experienced against the risks that I didn't completely understand.

"Listen to your heart," Master said, moving to look into my eyes and then laying his forehead against mine. "I can almost hear you trying to calculate this whole thing in your head, but human emotions don't follow any mathematic equation. You're heart knows what it wants, and all you need to do is calm down for a moment and listen to it."

"What does your heart tell you, Master?"

"It tells me…" he said, pausing dramatically as he considered his answer, "that I love warm cinnamon buns."

"W-what?"

"Can't you smell them? I can smell Quatre's cinnamon buns from here. Come on, let's sneak some before lunch," he said, ginning and rolling out of the bed. And that, unfortunately, signaled the end of our peaceful time together, but at least he didn't reveal any more of my darkest fears that day.

On the other hand, Master had given me more than enough to engage my mind and force me to look at my actions and emotions critically. Unfortunately, that's exactly what Master had told me not to do. But how would I know what my heart was telling me if I didn't think about it?

I was quiet through lunch, although I doubt anyone other than Duo really noticed, and Duo only because of his never-ending antics, which I was unable to keep up with on that particular day.

"Jeeze, 'Ro, what's been up with you? You didn't even roll your eyes when I slurped my noodles and managed to get tomato sauce in my eye."

"Hn."

"Yeah, that's kind of the attitude I'm talking about."

"Sorry. I guess I'm just thinking too hard," I told him, then tried to smile so he wouldn't worry. "Come on, I'll help you with your math homework."

"Gee Heero, you really know how to show a guy a good time," Duo said sarcastically, smirking at me as we entered our room. "But, seriously, don't worry so much, you know? Everything will turn out fine. Trust me," Duo said, and he sounded so convinced that I stopped walking just to stare at him.

"Do you really think so?" I found myself wondering.

"Well… yeah. I mean, you always manage to fix everything. And… even if you can't… I still think everything will be fine. When I'm around you I always seem to feel like I can do anything, like we can make everything be okay. And even if everything isn't okay in the future, everything's so great right now that that's okay too. I don't care what happens later, just as long as we're together now. So… don't worry. It's all cool," he said, grinning at me without a care in the world. And, I realized suddenly, that he was right. Everything did feel easier when we were together. Everything seemed to fit better when I was around him, like the problems of the world were being melted away. Without even thinking about it, I had managed to put my faith in Duo, that we'd find a way to be together.

Was that what my heart was telling me? Was that the way it spoke?

"If all you ever do is worry, you'll end up missing all the fun, and not having fun is what you're worried about anyway, right?" Duo said, and I realized that I was frowning with concentration. "Sometimes you just have to relax and take a chance."

"You know, Duo, I think you're right for once."

"Eh… really? Cool. So what are you… Shit!"

"What's the matter?" I asked slyly as I pinned Duo to where I'd pushed him to the bed. "I thought you loved spontaneity?"

"Well… yeah, but I didn't think you were spontin- spanti-… I thought you were really predictable. What happened?"

"Everybody keeps telling me to take chances. So I'm taking a risk. I thought you'd be pleased," I said, stroking down Duo's cheek to where it met with his jaw. His skin was warm and soft beneath my fingers, and I wanted to lean down and lick it to see how it tasted, but I wasn't quite certain how Duo would react.

"I am pleased… I guess," he said uncertainly, but her certainly didn't sound pleased. "I just… you're not just doing this because Zechs told you to, are you? Because I really like you, so…"

"Master didn't tell me to sleep with you, if that's what you're asking."

"So why are you doing it?"

"Because… I think I love you."

162 Duo

I should have called him an idiot. Should have called him stupid, thrown him off me, and stormed out of the room. Falling in love was dangerous for a slave, and damn near a death warrant to fall in love with another slave. And if he was reckless enough to say it out loud, he was reckless enough to get into trouble.

But so was I, and one thing I had never been was a liar. And if I was telling the truth, I had to admit that I had been falling in love with for a long time now, and the only thing that had kept me from falling head over heels was the fact that I had no real idea of how Heero felt about me. Now that he had confessed his feelings, I was totally sure that I was one hundred percent in love with Heero. So I grinned at him.

"That's a very rebellious thing of you to say, Heero," I teased, putting my hands on his thighs, which were resting on either side of my chest.

"You're wearing off on me," he said, smirking. I had to laugh, and then, just because I knew how much it sucked not to know how someone feels about you, I told him how I felt.

"You know I can't help but fall for you. Hell, you've saved my ass more times than I can count, and you keep a good eye on it in between. And even though you glare at me too much and you ruin most of my fun, I love you anyway. Hell, maybe I love you because of it."

"Good," Heero said with that cool, aggravating smirk of his that said something between "I knew it all along" and "I wasn't worried at all." Prick. I readied a sharp retort, but Heero covered my lips before I could give it, probably more to keep me quiet than anything.

_Portion removed for content. See my profile for a link to LIvejournal, where the full version is posted._

It took another fifteen minutes for either of us to get uncomfortable enough on Heero's bed to clean up, which included a quick shower for us both and the removal of Heero's sheets, although the bed was still pretty much unusable for the time being. I must have really worn Heero out, though, because he let me get away with tossing the sheets from his bed into the corner and enticing him to lay down on my bed for another nap.

But, when we got on the bed, Heero seemed to be the only one who really wanted to sleep. I was just so happy and so satisfied that all I wanted to do was rub myself on Heero like a cat or something. We curled together on the bed, with Heero's eyes firmly shut and mine taking in the way his face looked while he tried to sleep and how his hair moved when I ran my hands through it.

"Why did you ask me to sleep with you if you had no intention of sleeping?" Heero asked, but he only had the energy to get mildly annoyed with me, so I just smiled at him.

"Because otherwise you would have gone to do something else and I wouldn't be able to spend any more time with you."

"I would have gone to do something productive, yes. You spend every day with me, baka."

"Yeah, but I just want to be around you all the time. And, man, where'd you learn sex like that?" I asked him, joking and trying to lighten the mood so Heero wouldn't be so annoyed with me. I had to hope he wasn't always this grumpy after sex, but then Heero was this grumpy almost all the time. Still, instead of joking back with me, Heero contemplated my question seriously, which kind of defeated the purpose.

"Master taught me," Heero said after a few minutes. His voice was quiet, like he already knew I was going to be upset. Which I was, because Zechs was the last person I wanted to hear about after such mind-blowing sex. Anyway, I must have tensed or something, because Heero turned to me and said, "Don't get mad. It's the truth. I would have clinically and technically fucked you if Master hadn't shown me something different."

"Oh yeah? And what did he show you that you couldn't have learned from all the other people you've fucked over the years?" I snapped. I didn't want to fight about this, but if we were going to fight about it I wanted Heero to get mad and storm off or just glare and go quiet. I didn't want to listen to Heero talk about things that I was starting to think might be true. Unfortunately, Heero just wasn't taking my bait, and instead pulled me into a tighter embrace.

"He taught me how to make love," Heero whispered into my ear.

"No, I taught you how to make love, asshole," I growled. "If you love him you shouldn't have slept with me."

"I do love him," Heero said, sitting up so that he could look me in the eyes. "but I don't love him like I love you. I love Master like I love Quatre and Trowa and Wufei, but I'm in love with you. I wanted to spend the rest of my life being with you and having sex with you. You need me, and I need to be needed by you. But I do love Master, and if it hadn't been for Master I wouldn't be able to love now. So don't be so hard on him. You may not like Master, but we owe a lot to him. Without him, neither of us would be here," he said, then lay back down.

I hated it, but I knew he was right. We both owed our happiness to Zechs, because I don't think either of us would have been able to accept love without his help and support. Even now if Zechs had really wanted to make it impossible for us to be together he probably could. He could, but he didn't, and there had to be something to a master like that, right? So… maybe I should give him a chance.

But I wasn't about to admit that to Heero.

"Man, 'Ro, I liked you better when you were asleep."


	161. Wufei 163

Zechs was supposed to go back to bed after lunch. Really, he wasn't supposed to get up before lunch, but his venture downstairs for a cinnamon roll wasn't an intolerable deviation. However, it was essential to my plan that Zechs return to bed after lunch, sleep until dinner, and then come down to eat and, perhaps, to watch a movie with the rest of us. Then he would return upstairs for a full, hopefully dreamless night's sleep that would leave him feeling refreshed and energized for some mild activities on Sunday.

No part of my plan had me banging on Zechs' door and yelling for him to get his ass back into bed before I throttled him.

"Zechs? Zechs, open this damn door right now! I'm not going to ask you again, you idiot! What in the hell do you think you're doing?"

"I think I'd be doing some paperwork if someone weren't being so distracting," came a calm voice from behind the solidly locked door.

"This is ridiculous! You should be in bed, not working!"

"Wufei," Zechs said in an even voice, " I thank you for the concern, but I'm not a child. I've just got to do a few things here, and then I'll come relax a little more, alright? I'll be fine," he said, and since there was really nothing I could do I huffed and sat down on the floor. Really, what else could I do? I could yell and make a fuss, but only because Zechs allowed me to. If Zechs had been stricter, I wouldn't even be allowed that.

It was a sick paradox, I realized. If Zechs weren't a master, I never would have met him. I never would have learned about his kindness and compassion, and so I wouldn't care if he worked himself to death or not. And yet, as a master, Zechs could never be a person I could really fall in love with. My personality was not well-disposed toward being anyone's underling. I couldn't stand to be coddled or patronized, and I didn't like to obey without question, or at all really. It was one of things that had made my training so… difficult, and it was one of the reasons the Owner took an interest in me. He liked a… challenge. And Zechs, although different from the Owner in almost every way, was still a master. It was depressing, because of easy I knew it would be to fall for a man like Zechs, but I could never give my heart to someone who wouldn't take it seriously.

In about half an hour, the sounds of typing stopped. I waited about ten more minutes to see if there would be any more, but the typing did not resume and all sounds of movement had stopped. I quietly got up and went to the kitchen, returning with a piece of wire. Like most slaves, I had rudimentary knowledge of lock-picking, but I was fairly inept as far as my skills in that area went. I was lucky the lock Zechs' door was old and simple; otherwise I would have been going to Duo for help. Then again, after what I'd heard upstairs earlier, I might not risk it even for Zechs' sake.

After a moment of fiddling with the lock there was a clicking noise and the door slipped open. As expected, Zechs was asleep, passed out with his head on a pile of papers and his laptop still open in front of him. I rolled my eyes, holding back on an "I told you so" only because it would wake him. I did bask in my rightness, though, as I gently took Zechs' shoulders and pulled him into a sitting position. He stirred, but was too exhausted to wake up. Once he had settled again, I rolled the chair over to the nearby sofa and gently managed to get Zechs out of the chair and laid out on the couch. There was an afghan on the back that I tossed over him, then decided that there wasn't much else I could do without waking him, even as exhausted as he was. I rolled the chair back over to the desk and prepared to leave.

If only I hadn't brushed the mouse.

If not, everything would have been fine. The computer screen would have stayed on the screensaver. I would have left, read a book, perhaps, and come back down for dinner. There would have been pleasant teasing on my part about being right, and Zechs would have blushed and grumbled but let it go. The night would have been normal and pleasant, not tense and life-changing.

But I did brush the mouse, and the screen changed from its pleasantly rotating stars to a precise and accurate description of everything about Collar, along with plans and maps and diagrams about how best to infiltrate the satellite. I felt ill with the implications of it.

The first possibility was the least terrifying. Zechs was working with the Owner to assess and improve the security of Collar. But, while I had often seen the Owner watching Zechs, I'd never heard or seen them actually talking, so there was little chance of that option.

The second option was dangerous, but manageable. Zechs was working for a copycat organization that wanted to set up an imitation Collar. The Owner wouldn't tolerate competition, but he would probably try to persuade Zechs to join his staff before killing him. Zechs was smart enough to know when he was beat, he'd probably switch sides. Still… Zechs didn't strike me as a low-level spy. He was far too skilled for that.

The third possibility made my stomach turn. If this was what it looked like and Zechs was working for the military to take Collar down, it would be too horrible to imagine for any of us if it was discovered. Zechs would be killed. We would be tortured to the point of madness. Collar would go into a lockdown, which would make all the masters angry, annoyed, and prone to fits of aggression. There would be massive casualties in the slaves, and even more if the military tried to attack. In other, smaller raids and attack, masters had been known to incinerate their slaves so that there was no evidence when the authorities got there. And, once the old slaves were dead, there would be a tremendous influx of new slaves to be trained and subdued. It would all start anew. It would be… devastating.

I don't know when I left the room. The next thing I knew, my hand was reaching for the play button my radio, and in the next moment I was lunging and leaping around the training room as the music began. I didn't want to think. I didn't want to feel. I just needed to let it all go.

A lot of people think that my martial arts training caused me to be stiff and strange in dance. They believed that the rigid, repetitive movements made me awkward, and advised the Owner to have me stop my training in martial arts to be more competitive in dance. Really, though, it was my meditation and martial arts training that made me such a good dancer. In front of all the accusing, lusting eyes of masters I was awkward and off balance, but without them I could relax into a meditative trance that allowed me to become one with the music. I forgot myself.

Which is what I needed right then. Not a thought crossed my mind other than the steps and the music. Two songs passed, then three, then five, all the time increasing in difficulty as my body warmed and stretched. I began to do more difficult moves. Twists and turns that I always fell on in competition passed like nothing, but they always did when I was alone. One flawless routine after another passed, until the song for my Collar routine began. Fluidly I switched my body to the rhythm, effortlessly moving through the practiced motions. A flip, a twist, a spin, a lunge. I moved through them all with a grace I never revealed at Collar. The masters always thought I was tense and clumsy, but really I was just a good actor. Having practiced this routine six times a day for a year, I could do it in my sleep.

It came time for my big, finale jump. Never in all my routines at Collar had I ever landed the jump perfectly. I leapt, spinning and twirling through the air, my feet more often above my head than below. I felt the moment come where I could spin just the tiniest bit to the side and let my legs fall beneath me, landing on my side with a thud that sounded more painful than it was. I felt the moment, and I let it pass. My feet came down together, my knees bending with the impact, and I didn't so much as step to the side. It was an immaculate routine.

"Wufei," I heard a voice call from the doorway, and turned to find Zechs staring intently at me, the afghan still wrapped around his shoulders. "I think we need to talk."

I stilled and wondered if my gasping breaths were from the exercise or from anxiety. It was hard to tell, with Zechs staring evenly at me, never hinting at his current mood. If I had actually stumbled onto plans to invade Collar, it was very possible he would have to kill me to keep it secret. And even if I was overreacting to this, I was sure Zechs had seen my dance. I'm sure he wouldn't be too pleased about my deception.

"Come," he said, reaching out to take my hand. I hesitated, then gave it, and he led me over to the benches. His grip was firm and his hand was warm in my own. It was a reassurance that I had craved, but hadn't dared to ask for. Regardless of anything else, this was still Zechs.

We sat down on one of the benches that surrounded the room. We sat a polite distance away from each other, but it seemed awkward with how close we normally were. I had just slept in the man's bed last night, why would I need so much space now? But I did, as silly as it seemed. Things were changing rapidly, and I couldn't guarantee that Zechs was the same person I'd known only hours before. On the other hand, he was probably thinking the same thing about me.

Zechs was exhausted. I could see that in the very way he sat, with his shoulders slumped and his back pressed against the wall for support. His hands were clenched in the blanket around him and his eyes stared at the floor in a distant sort of way, as though he were seeing something entirely different from a thick layer of matting. There were bags under his eyes, and his jaw was clenched just enough for me to see it. It was a fairly good sign that he had a headache. Strangely enough, he hadn't seemed that bad when I'd left him asleep in his office. He'd been tired, certainly, but he hadn't seemed quite so high-strung. I wondered if I'd just missed it because he was sleeping, or if this was entirely my affect on him. I had the strong urge to tell him to go lay down, but under the current circumstances I didn't dare.

"I need to know what that was," Zechs said suddenly, his eyes finally lifting to meet mine. "Wha-… Why have you been faking your difficulty with dancing? Is this… Is this something the Owner asked you to do? Have you been… Have you been spying on me?"

I glared hotly at Zechs and growled, "You doubt my honor?"

"That's not what I mean," Zechs said, shaking his head and looking as though he, himself, were confused by what he was asking me. "I just… I mean that… I need to know what you're doing. You belong to the Owner, Wufei, can you blame me for wanting to be sure of your alliances? Especially after I find that you've been lying to me from the very beginning."

"I've been deceiving everyone from the very beginning, not just you," I countered.

"But why?" he asked. "You have to know that I can't just let this go. If you are spying it could endanger all the other boys, as well as me and even you. I will know what's going on," he said determinedly, and I sighed when I realized that I wasn't going to deter him from knowing the whole sordid tale.

"It's a long story. Do you want to go to the den?"

"That's fine."

We got up and I grabbed a towel to dry my face before we headed down the hall. The walk gave me at least a few seconds to prepare myself. It had been a long time since I let myself think about my past, and I was surprised to find that the wounds were as fresh and sore as ever. We arrived at the den and Zechs sat in the plush chair while I plopped down on the sofa.

We were silent for a moment. I think Zechs was hesitant to push me, and I was loath to begin. After a few minutes, though, Zechs cleared his throat and I sighed but began.

"My tale isn't going to be long and filled with grief. I spent most of my childhood living quietly in a small, rural town. My parents were very strict and very proper, but they were never unkind and I wasn't unhappy. There was a Buddhist monastery nearby, and I received a detailed education in languages, literature, and the marital arts. My father was a wealthy merchant, and my mother was the only daughter of a very ancient clan. I lived a quiet, sheltered life with little interaction with children my own age. I was expected to study hard and eventually enter a university. When I was twelve, as was customary in our clan, I was wed to a ten-year-old girl named Meilan. We didn't get along well, but the adults all assumed it was because we were young and immature. It was not expected that we would have a relationship until we were older, and a few months later I went into a very private, exclusive university and we did not meet again until I was 20."

I stopped a moment, lost in memory. I had not been a very social person and the university I had attended did not promote social activities outside of the academic realm, but it had still been a pleasant experience. The teachers there were relaxed and willing to help the students, and the students had all been hungry to knowledge, not grades. The classes were pass or fail by the teacher's digression, so the kind of pressure that happened in other schools and even at the monastery was missing.

"I gained a degree in business to please my father, but I also pursued a degree in literature for myself. I took several teaching and psychology classes. I often put myself down for having such a hopeless dream, but I wanted to be a teacher," I said, then glanced at Zechs, who seemed rather absorbed. "I thought you might like to know that I haven't been teaching the other by trial and error. I am trained for this, even though I was never able to practice the skill."

"I never doubted you, Wufei," Zechs replied, and his compliment made me feel better despite myself. "But, go on. What happened? How did you… come to this?"

"It was really my own fault," I sighed, staring at my hands. "I had never had much interaction with others, you see. I had lived my entire life in books… so I just didn't know what to do when it came to socialization. And I'd lived a good portion of my life at an all boys school, so I was painfully unaware of how to deal with a female. When I returned home, I hadn't even though about Meilan, but there she was. I had never truly understood, even though I knew it, that she'd be waiting for me when I returned from college. I had never thought about the end of school, so it hit me like a blow. I had spent my whole life studying… only to find out that nothing I had learned would help me.

"Meilan still hated me. She was… a typical teen, I believe. I had never been given the chance to be one, so I wasn't really sure, but she did seem a hair… immature to me. When she had returned home, after our wedding, her mother hadn't really cared what she did. Meilan was already married, so it didn't matter if she went a little wild, and her mother had three more daughters to marry off. So Meilan was allowed to do whatever she wanted and her husband would just have to deal with her.

"Unfortunately, that husband was me, and Meilan knew it. It made her hate me, the fact that everyone expected me to come back and force her to behave. Meilan had such a strong will that sometimes… sometimes I think that she would have been an amazing woman with just a little guidance," I said, pausing to remember the fire in her eyes. She was so beautiful, so full of life, that it had hurt more than I'd let on to see her eyes fill with hatred every time she'd looked at me. It wasn't my fault. I didn't want to make her do anything. I didn't want to have anything to do with her. But everyone kept looking at me like I was the one dancing all night and drinking all day. I couldn't let her do that, let her put that kind of reputation on my father's business. I just… I just wanted her to stop.

I jumped when Zechs placed his hand on mine, then raised my eyes to meet his. Sometimes Zechs is far too observant, but I was relieved by his support anyway. "It was guidance from a parent she needed, not her husband. We were both just kids, really, and suddenly I show up and start telling her what to do? I knew why she hated me.

"My parents could see what a strain Meilan's carousing was putting on our relationship, so they bought us a house near where I had grown up. It was too far for any of Meilan's friends to visit, and even cell-phone service wouldn't work out there. My parents thought it would give us time to talk and get to know each other, but it just made Meilan hate me even more. The fact that I liked being in the countryside drove Meilan insane. I was perfectly happy to read, meditate, do some katas, and perhaps even row out on the lake, but Meilan was bored out of her mind. The only thing she enjoyed doing at all was riding horses, and she rode all three of them lame in the first month of our stay. By the start of the second month all she did was storm through the house slamming doors and ignore me.

"It didn't help matters," I said, blushing at admitting this, but it was a somewhat crucial part of the story, "that we had tried having… physical relations only once, and the results of that one attempt were so disastrous that I didn't dare try it again. I… was young, and innocent, with only a cursory knowledge of how sex was performed on a purely physical level. I… was not as gentle as I could have been."

"Wufei," Zechs gasped, shocked, and I went back over the words in my head and realized what it must have sounded like.

"I didn't hurt her. I was not… unkind, but I was not romantic about it either. Meilan had been reading romance novels for years, and I fear she expected me to be able to do something as interesting and manly as that. What she got was a fumbling young boy who barely knew where to stick it. She was disappointed, embarrassed, and angry. I was terrified and ashamed. When it was finished, I practically ran back to my room, and she tore apart the entire left side of the cottage. It was the last time I was brave enough to make any kind of pass at her. I was too shy to try again, even though I did desperately want children."

"You were so young," Zechs mumbled. "Why did you want children already, especially with a woman who hated you?"

"There was, of course, the pressure of my family, who repeatedly told me that Meilan would settle down if I could just get her pregnant. I didn't really believe them, and I couldn't at all picture Meilan as a mother with that selfish attitude of hers. Still, I told you I wanted to teach, and I felt my only chance at that was to have children. The more Meilan hated me, the further away I saw that dream slip.

"After two months, my parents called us back from the cottage, only to find that our time together had made Meilan's habits worse instead of better. Now she was constantly out with friends, never told anyone where she was going, and almost always returned home completely drunk. Cutting off her money never worked because all her friends were wealthy, and she was so determined that it was impossible to keep her from going out. She always managed to find some way to leave.

"I was miserable. My parents were angry at me for not being able to control Meilan, Meilan was angry at me for trying to control her, and I just wanted to go back into my books and be left alone. I couldn't stop Meilan and leaving her would mean defaulting on a very expensive contract that our parents had set up. There was nothing I could do short of beating her into submission, and I could never bring myself to do that.

"Meilan always had numerous… male friends. She was a virgin when we were first together, but I doubt she waited long after me to find someone more experience in bed. Later that month I realized that she was cheating on me with my cousin. I should have known, then, what kind of person she was, but my lack of experience with people made me a rather poor judge of character. I thought she was just spoiled and selfish.

"I was caught totally by surprise when they captured me for Collar. I'll spare you most of the details. It's sufficient to say that I was captured on evening while walking to a business meeting. I often took back alleys from the train station to my office. I justified it by saying it was the shortest route, but it was really just my overconfidence in my fighting abilities. It's rather difficult to fight after being shot with a tranquilizer, or so I've come to find out. I awoke hours later, chained and caged with a hundred other misfits. I went through all the classic stages of denial, rage, grief, and helplessness. I won't bore you my pathetic theatrics at the time, but some of my ramblings did catch the ear of a guard, who deduced that I was well-educated.

"At Collar, I was put through a range of tests to find my intelligence level, but my stubbornness was what really attracted attention. They were so used to getting boys who understood doing anything for a hot meal that an idealist like myself was a novelty. I kept spouting the most ridiculous philosophies and quotations. I must have sounded like an angry puppy, yipping at the guards while boys were getting raped down the hall. It wasn't until the Owner bought me that I realized how naïve I really was. But… you've heard about that already and… I'd rather not go into all the details."

"It's fine, Wufei," Zechs said, patting my hand. He'd been so still before that I almost felt like I was talking to myself. It helped, somehow, for him to be so still that I barely recognized that he was there. His support, though, helped even more. "Tell me about your training. I've always been interested in how you managed to get so good so quickly."

"There wasn't a secret to it," I defended. "It was the same thing I'd been doing all my life. I was… I was almost grateful when he told me that I'd be competing in these events. I knew how to study, I understood learning. I'd been so lost for so long, first at home and then as a slave… I finally had purpose again. I was ashamed of myself, but I wanted to bury my head in a book again.

"Of course, I wasn't weak enough to just meekly obey his commands. The Owner sweetened the deal first, by promising to release me if I ever won all of Collar. He pointed out that even if I were rescued everyone would know where I'd been. He knew I wouldn't be able to take the shame of letting my parents, my friends, and my teachers know the things I'd been doing and the things he'd done to me. He… he had taken pictures of me… vile pictures of me being humiliated… and he promised that he'd send them to everyone I knew if I ever managed to escape. I couldn't have lived with that, so I gave up hoping for either of those options. Winning Collar by myself was the only way that I could get away."

"And you trusted him?" Zechs asked me.

"He has always kept his word to me. He's a deceiving, manipulative bastard, but he always keeps his word."

"I see. Still… to put such a high goal in front of such a young boy. It must have been terribly stressful for you."

"Oh, it was. At first, I hated all the pressure that I was under to do things right. Then, later, I started doing things right, and I found an incredibly competitive side of my personality that I'd never known before. I made leaps and bounds in my progress."

"But it wasn't enough to win?"

"Are you going to let me tell this story?" I asked him in mock-anger.

"Sorry, sorry. Please, continue."

"I'm almost to the end. You see, the strain of all the practice and of all the Owner's… needs was starting to get to me. A few days before the tournament, after a particularly rough night of satisfying the Owner's many perverted demands, I broke and called home. I didn't care who knew what I'd been through or even if I died for it, I needed to know that there was someone out there that cared for me.

"But Meilan answered the phone. She seemed surprised to hear me… but not happy."

"She sold you," Zechs commented quietly. I nodded, feeling tired and heavy despite the memory of my anger. My wife… the one person who was supposed to love me… and she had sold me to the devil.

"She said that she'd told my parents that I was gay and that I had run away with another man. Everyone knew my trouble with intimacy, so they fell easily into her lie. She said my father had disowned me and taken my cousin to be his heir. She said she'd have me killed if I ever dared to return, and then she hung up. That was when I realized that I had nowhere to go back to."

It was quiet for a moment as I dealt with the emotions rolling in my stomach, surfacing and disappearing at odd times. Zechs pulled me into his lap and tuck my head under his chin as I struggled with the aching, bleeding hole in my chest.

"So that's why you threw that event?" Zechs asked.

"Better to think that I wasn't good enough than that no one wanted me," I told him softly. "I think the Owner knew. I think he let me make that call, knowing what would happen. I don't suppose it matters, though. The result is the same one way or another."

"I see," Zechs said, and we fell into silence for a few minutes. I think Zechs was trying to absorb everything, and my mind was so satiated with memories that I was glad for the second to clear it. After a moment Zechs turned to me and gave a tired smile. "In that case, I will assume that you understand the necessity of… discretion about what you saw on my computer screen. It is of vital importance that you do not say a word to the Owner or any other masters about this. You cannot tell the others. Put it out of your mind, do you understand? You didn't see anything."

"What did I see, though?" I asked, and I could see Zechs getting irritated.

"It doesn't matter."

"It most certainly does matter," I hissed, narrowing my eyes. "You could get us all killed. And for what? If this is some stupid take-over scheme…"

"It's not, I assure. What I'm doing is of the utmost importance. Beyond that, though, I'm not at liberty to say."

"You mean you won't say."

"I know you realize just how dangerous this is. If something should go wrong… it's better if you don't know anything."

"So you don't trust me," I growled, glaring angrily at him.

"It's not that…"

"You don't trust me to be able to stay silent under torture. And yet every day of my life is torture. Do you think I don't know how to deal with pain? That I don't know the feeling of burns, bruises, and broken bones? That I haven't been cut before just so someone can watch my blood run? I know more about how to stay silent under torture than any soldier, Zechs."

"I don't want to put this burden on you. I don't want you to be thinking about this all the time. The less you know, the more easily you can put it from your mind."

"That's the stupidest thing you've ever said. The less I know, the more I'll worry about it. I'll worry the situation with my mind all the time, and if something happens I'll be completely unprepared for it. I'll be completely unable to help the others."

"You won't have to help the others. I won't let it come to that. I'll keep you all safe…"

"You aren't a god, Zechs! You're a human being, damn you! You can't just wrap us all in plastic and stick us inside your chest for safekeeping! It doesn't work like that!"

"This is my burden!" he said, jumping to his feet. He stared at me unblinkingly, and there was a light in his eyes that was not altogether rational. His eyes looked feverish and fanatical, and I was… unnerved. "I brought you all into this and I will keep you all safe, do you understand? I won't let anything happen to any of you! I won't!" he shouted, and then stopped, as though he didn't quite know what he was doing. He stood there before me, looking small and frail in his blanket, swaying slightly on his feet, and I realized there wasn't any point in arguing with him. There was something in his mind going on that had nothing to do with myself or the other boys, but that was telling him to keep us wrapped up in a safe little bubble and never let us out. It was stupid and illogical, and would probably get someone killed, but I was, yet again, helpless to do anything to stop it.

"Master," I said softly, rising to my feet and taking his hand, "Let's get you to bed."

I started to pull him gently toward the door, but Zechs shook himself and shrugged me off.

"There's still some business that I have to do. I'm sorry, Wufei. I'll be in my office if you need me."

"You fool," I whispered, watching his retreating back in helplessness. There was nothing I could do.

For the rest of the afternoon, I buried myself in books. The other boys awoke within an hour of my retreat. Trowa and Quatre went into the music room and worked on some new songs. Heero and Duo went into the yard and played basketball. Zechs, as far as I could tell, never moved from his office. And I was grateful to have the top floor to myself. In the quiet, I let myself drift away in the poetry. Eventually the churning in my stomach stopped, but the roiling of my mind did not. I tried to read, but eventually all the lines began to blur together, and then the words, and then there was nothing.

I awoke with my cheek pressed against a page of my book. I sat up and was glad to find that the pages were unharmed by my slumber. The book I had slept on was particularly old and difficult to find.

I became aware of sounds far downstairs, in the kitchen. It seemed that Quatre and Trowa must be making dinner. I yawned and stretched. My back was aching from sleeping in a hard, straight-backed chair, but I knew it was my own fault for falling asleep. Rubbing my eyes, I stood and padded downstairs.

Quatre and Trowa, as expected, were in the kitchen. Heero and Duo were sitting on the bar, watching the other two. I wasn't surprised by this, since both Heero and Duo had been banned from the kitchen. Duo was dangerous in the kitchen and Heero was hopeless when it came to taste. So Heero and Duo generally helped with the cleanup of meals more than the preparation.

It was getting dark outside. I noticed the darkening sky through the windows behind the sink and glanced around the room.  
"Any signs of Zechs?"

"Not since this morning," Heero said. "He's been in his office all afternoon."

"If we couldn't hear the typing, I'd assume he was dead," Duo put in. Heero elbowed him in the ribs as Quatre looked up concernedly.

"You don't think there's anything wrong with him, do you?" he wondered, his voice soft and frightened. Quatre was such a soft touch that I felt the need to smile at him reassuringly. Quatre cried pretty easily and… well… I found that I was generally completely baffled about what to do in situations including tears. Quatre frightened me a little for that reason.

"I'm sure it's nothing more than a severe case of stubbornness," I told him, keeping my voice far lighter than what I was truly feeling.

"He's not the only one suffering from that affliction," Duo commented, jerking his head in Heero's direction. Heero glared at him.

"Wanting to play a full game of basketball is not being stubborn. You're just lazy."

"Lazy? You had fifty points when we quit!"

"While you had forty-five, and wouldn't stop complaining about losing. I assumed that it meant you wanted to continue."

"You're so full of…"

I let the voices fade into the background as Heero and Duo retreated into the dining room. Quatre and Trowa were talking quietly as the finished cooking, and I could hear Duo and Heero setting the table in the other room. I stood at the bar, watching each of them enjoy the domesticity that they'd never experienced before, and I felt a sick feeling rise in my stomach as I wondered how much longer this could possibly last.

But… we all knew it wasn't going to last, right? We all knew how quickly things could change and go sour. I was frightened for what the future would hold for them, but I knew that Zechs would never purposefully put us in harm's way, and I would not ruin what little happiness the others could gain by poisoning it with the threat of the unknown. I would hate them for doing it to me, and so I could not do it to them.

It might have been how deeply I was engrossed in my ethical dilemma, or it might have been how quietly he walked, but regardless when I looked up Zechs was standing in the doorway, staring sightlessly at the kitchen.

I held very still, feeling that something just wasn't quite right. Zechs didn't look severely worse than he had that morning, but he did look worse, with darker bags under his eyes and a coloring to his skin that was pale and yellowish. His jaw was clenched, a sure sign of a headache, and he seemed somehow unbalanced and shaky. Even with on hand on the wall to steady him, he swayed back and forth, like the floor was rocking beneath him.

In another moment, Heero and Duo walked back in and I glanced at them just in time to see Quatre look up and smile at Zechs. I turned my attention back to Zechs, taking a few steps toward him. It was possible he was still upset with me, but I couldn't ignore that something was wrong with him, and I had some notion of leading him out of the kitchen and lecturing him again about resting.

"Master," I heard Quatre say behind me as I moved toward Zechs. "You're just in time for…"

"Fuck!" I yelped as I saw Zechs' eyes roll back in his head and his knees buckle, dropping him toward the floor. I just barely managed to get under him quickly enough to cushion his fall, but there was no way I could stop him and I found myself falling toward the floor and desperately trying to guard Zechs' head from hitting anything. I landed hard and felt Zechs' skull smack into my shoulder hard enough to bruise, but I was fairly sure I'd managed to keep either of us from breaking anything.

There was total silence for a moment as I lay still, cradling Zechs' head against my shoulder and feeling his warm breath on my neck. My heart was pounding in my chest, but I forced myself to calm down and think logically. His breathing seemed normal and unstrained, which was a good sign. My hand had come up to brace his neck in the fall, and my finger sought out his pulse. His heart was beating in time with mine, which meant that it was going a little faster than normal, but not fast to be dangerous. It seemed, then, that he had merely passed out and was in no immediate danger of death.

A fact of which none of the others were aware. There was a chorus of "Master!" from Quatre and Trowa, and a matching pair of "Shit!"s from Heero and Duo. Quatre dropped the pan he was dropping to rush over, but Heero and Duo were closer and reached us first.

"Heero, I need you and Trowa to help me carry Zechs to the medical room," I said, sitting up and cradling Zechs against my chest. As the oldest slave, I felt that I had to take control before everyone panicked. "Duo, call Sally. Quatre, run ahead and open the door," I instructed. Trowa lifted Zechs' head and Heero lifted his legs, pulling the heavy body off of me as Quatre and Duo ran to their tasks.

"Sally wants to know if he's breathing!" Duo shouted from the kitchen, the phone still clutched in his hand as he peered around the corner.

"Tell her that he's breathing normally, but his heart-rate is slightly elevated," I called back to him as I followed the others into the medical room.

Once inside the medical room, I found that Heero and Trowa has already placed Zechs onto the cot. Zechs was pretty much still in pajamas, so Trowa fetched a blanket from the shelf to lay over him while Heero placed a pillow under his head.

"Is he going to be okay?" Quatre asked anxiously.

"He doesn't seem to be in any immediate danger," I told him, trying to be as reassuring as I could.

"Sally says she'll be here in twenty minutes, and that if anything else happens to call 911," Duo said, darting into the room. "She said we should watch to make sure he's breathing and not to leave him alone until she arrives. She said if he wakes up we should try to keep him awake."

"I'll watch him, then," I said. "Quatre, you need to go take dinner off the stove. It isn't going to help the situation any if the house burns down."

Quatre nodded and, with a worried look at Zechs' still form, walked back out the door. Trowa gave me a questioning look, and followed after I'd nodded to assure him that he wasn't needed. Then I turned to Heero and Duo.

"I want you two to go out front and wait for Sally. She always brings extra medical supplies and I don't want her slowing down to get them, alright? Just make sure she comes straight here," I said. Heero nodded while Duo saluted, but they both left the room as well.

And then it was just me and Zechs. I glanced down at his still, pale form and sighed.

"What have you done now?" I wondered helplessly, but Zechs couldn't tell me.


	162. Chapter 164 166

Zechs 164

So, as I am every year, I will be at Tekkoshocon 6 this year, so if anyone else is going to be there, drop me an email. I hear there's even going to be a yaoi panel.

Zechs 164

I awoke to the feel of someone touching my neck and a splitting headache.

"It's about time you woke up," I heard a feminine voice say, and I squinted to see who was looming over me.

"Sally? What are you doing here?"

"Oh, you know, I just thought I'd stop by. I have a tendency to do that when people drop to the floor right in the middle of their kitchen."

"Wha-…?" I wondered, then wracked my brain and realized that the last thing I could remember was standing in the kitchen and wondering where all the fog had come from. "Damn," I cursed, bringing my head up to rub at my eyes, glancing around the room to find that we were alone and the door was firmly closed. "I must have scared the hell out of the boys. Are they alright?"

"Other than being worried out of their minds about you," she said, then plopped down beside me on the bed. "So, let's get down to what's wrong with you. I've already done all the necessary blood-work, and here's my diagnosis: you're clinically stupid."

"I don't have time for your games, Sally," I grumbled, glaring weakly up at her.

"Oh, this is no game. Only a complete idiot would attempt to put that many drugs into his system and expect to live."

"I'm a doctor…"

"Yes, and it is probably for that reason alone that you are still alive. You know the maximum dosage the body can take of a drug and what kinds of drugs can be taken together; however, you seem to forget that those kinds of extremes are only to be taken in emergencies and never for long periods of time. As a doctor you should know better, and you can thank your lucky stars that you're still alive after putting your body through that much stress."

"You're over-reacting…"

"Am I, now?" Sally said, tilting her head to the side and giving me a cool glare that meant she was really pissed. "I had Wufei show me the contents of your medicine cabinet, Zechs, so that I wouldn't have to wait to find out what you've been pumping yourself full of. A pill to keep you awake. A pill to get rid of the headache. A pill to keep you focused. A pill to get rid of the headache from that pill. And a nice little pill to keep up this whole… performance for your slaves, am I correct?" she hissed, and I blushed realizing what pills she was talking about.

"The boys need to feel that I desire them. They wouldn't understand if I said I was just too tired; they'd think it was their fault. I didn't want my problems to make them think…"

"You didn't want them to get suspicious about how well you were. Don't give me bullshit about anything else, Zechs. From what I can see you've been doing a pretty damn good job of keeping this a secret, too. How long has this been going on for? Since you arrived here? Since Duo's asthma? Since Quatre's problems? Wufei says you've been sick for two days now, but it takes a hell of a lot longer than two days to get as run down as you are. Now, you are going to tell me how long you've been taking this stuff," she demanded, rising so that she could tower over me.

"It…. I didn't start off like this all at once. I've been getting headaches for a while, but it's only gotten bad since I started putting together the report and plan to give to Une next week. That was two…. Maybe two and a half weeks ago."

"I see," Sally said. She seemed to be calculating something in her head, and turned and met my eyes when she had come to a decision. "I'm confiscating all your drugs. Anything higher than aspirin will be locked securely away in my medical cabinet."

"I'm not a drug addict."

"You don't have to be physically addicted to drugs to be addicted. You won't be able to function like you were without the pills, and I doubt you'll allow yourself to do any less. So the only drugs that will be within your reach are these."

"These are stress reducers," I complained as I took the bottle of pills from her and glanced at the label.

"They're probably the only pills you actually need, and ironically are the only kind you weren't taking. Now, along with that I'm prescribing total rest for at least five days. That means no labor, no sex, and no working on your proposal. Une will give you time once you get to the headquarters and you can get a team to help you."

"This is ridiculous…"

"This is anything but ridiculous, Zechs. I don't think you understand just how close you've pushed yourself to death. If the boys hadn't been so close at hand you could have easily suffocated. And what about next time? What if you go into a seizure?"

"There won't be a next time."

"You're damn right there won't be. If you refuse to obey my orders I will recommend to Une that you are taken off this case," she said, but she was pushing it too far by threatening me. I called her bluff.

"Une won't take me off the mission. I'm too far in. If I fail, we may never get another chance. There isn't anyone else well known enough to get into this ring, and they'll get suspicious if I disappear. If they find out I was an infiltrator they'll cover their tracks and we may never find them again. Une won't pull me off the case no matter what you say."

"She'll rework the parameters, then, to do the sting next year instead of this one."

"It's too risky. I can't keep up this charade forever. The longer I'm here… I can't take much more of this. It has to happen now. I'm sorry, Sally, but there's nothing you can do," I told her. She frowned, her lips becoming a thin line as she contemplated what I'd said to her. Sally didn't like being told no, especially when it came to the health of her patients, but there was nothing to be done about it. She couldn't stop me from protecting my boys.

A second later, Sally moved deliberately to the door, giving up far sooner than I had expected. When she opened it, however, she called for the boys to come in, and then moved back to the head of the bed. I had a bad feeling about this.

"Sally," I growled warningly, wondering what she was up to. The boys all filed in quickly, but Sally stopped their questions with a gesture.

"I just want all of you to know," she said calmly, "that Zechs has been working himself far too hard and pushing his body to the brink of its endurance. He's been taking pills that have allowed him to work harder than his body would allow, and this is the reason for his fainting spell earlier. I have prescribed a set of pills to help him relax, and he is under orders to rest for at least five days. This means no labor, no sex, and no working in his office. Zechs, however, seems to have no intention of following my orders. So, I just wanted you all to know that if he keeps this pace up for much longer, it will kill him."

Oh shit.

3

2

1

"Master, no! You can't die! You just can't! Can't! Can't! Can't!"

"You fucking asshole! You can't just bring us all together and then fucking off yourself, you bastard!"

I was actually kind of surprised at Duo's reaction. I had expected Quatre's theatrics, but I wasn't prepared for Duo's angry tirade that was coming more from fear than any actual anger. The other three just stared at me with a feverish, calculating light that frightened me even more than the amazingly creative threats that Duo had begun to spout.

"Alright, alright, you win," I said, reaching out to calm Quatre. "But only for three days."

"You'll take the full five and like it," Sally said, leaning against the wall near my head. Then she smirked and whispered, "Nothing I can do, huh? Don't ever underestimate me."

"Master, are you going to be okay?" Quatre asked, still sobbing even as I patted his back and tried to calm him down.

"He'll be fine if he does what I say," Sally said. "Why don't you all come with me and I'll give you some more detailed instructions on what to do about him?" Sally asked, then led the boys from the room.

Wufei stayed behind, coming to sit beside me once all the others had left.

"Don't you want to find out how to properly care for me?" I asked sarcastically. He chuckled.

"I think the others can manage it. From what I saw out of Quatre you'll be lucky if you're allowed to wipe your own ass in the next week," he said, smirking at me. I groaned.

"I still can't believe she tattled on me."

"You have to admit, it got results. What did you say to her anyway? Sally isn't usually that pushy."

"I told her there was nothing she could do to stop me from working. I didn't thing there was anything she could do."

"Honestly, Zechs, I think that just might be the most ingenious, devious woman I've ever met. We must have her around more often," he said. I groaned again, and he laughed, but then grew quiet and solemn. "You really scared me, you know? We all rely on you so much… I something happen to you, it will mean horrible things for all of us. You know that, right? So, I understand your dedication to… whatever you're doing, but we need you to stay healthy. No matter what, we need you to stay alive for us. We… I need you, Zechs. Please, remember that when you're pushing yourself toward an untimely death."

I was stunned, and just managed to find enough intelligence to nod stupidly. Wufei saw it and gave me a small, tired smile, then got up, bowed, and left.

I suddenly felt very tired again.

Tired… and warm.

Heero 165

Master quickly learned to regret not taking care of his health. He hated being inactive, but he hated seeing Quatre cry even more. And, on the off chance that he did manage to get away from Quatre's smothering care, Duo would throw a royal tantrum, Trowa would stare it him imploringly, or Wufei would give him a hurt and indignant glare, any of which would cause him to throw his hands into the air in angry defeat and return to his chair in the den. For my part, I was less experienced in emotional warfare, so I would simply follow a step behind Master, bodily blocking him from entering his office or leaving the house, until he became annoyed enough to sulk back to his chair.

Zechs had fainted on Monday and, despite repeated declarations that he was fine, spent most of the day and all night in a dead sleep. Quatre was more worried than ever, but I think that knowing what was really wrong with Master helped keep him calm. Where before it had been some kind of mysterious ailment, we all now knew that there was something wrong with Master and it wasn't life threatening. We didn't feel quite so helpless now that we were able to actively keep Master from running himself into the ground, instead of watching as he withered away.

Master spent Tuesday fairly docilely. He rolled his eyes when he realized we were taking turns watching over him, but he didn't protest. I'm not sure if it made him feel better or worse that we were pretty much fighting over whose turn it was to stay with Master, and that we all spent most of our time in the den with him, only leaving when there was no other possible alternative.

One of us was always touching him, I noticed by Tuesday afternoon. It wasn't surprising, since the idea that Master could die had deeply frightened us all, and touch was one of the best ways to dispel that fear and reassure ourselves that he was alive. However, I don't think any of us realized just how strongly affected we were, because for a full day as soon as one slave moved away from Zechs, another instantly rose to take his place. Zechs tolerated the constant touches, and I could see a look of guilt come over his face whenever Quatre clung a little too tightly, or Trowa stroked his hair a little too softly, or Duo stared a little too intently at the wall, badly feigning indifference while he allowed his side to touch against Master's. Wufei refused to show any signs that he was upset, stoically remaining neutral, but the fact that he always stepped up to take his turn sitting beside Zechs like the rest of us said more than any expression could. I, like Wufei, had trouble expressing the worry I felt, but somehow I was certain that Master understood.

Still, it was a strange day. The house was unusually quiet and still. The usual hum of activity was missing, and so was the laughter and music. The house itself seemed to be in shock, stunned to find that its owner was so human and fallible. The television was a quiet hum in the background, loud enough to be heard in the still house but quiet enough to let Master sleep if he happened to doze off. Quatre had been cooking incessantly since Master fainted, and it seemed that his cure-all for anyone he cared about was quickly becoming the need to stuff them full of the heartiest foods he could come up with. If I wasn't mistaken, I would swear that he had a turkey cooking in the over, along with the other soups and stews and pastries he'd been creating to entice Master to eat. Master, again, bore Quatre's over-zealous nurturing as a kind of penance for worrying us all so much, eating as much as he could and slipping the rest to Wufei to hide. None of us had the heart to tell Quatre that eating such copious amounts of food would probably be just as bad for Master's health as not eating at all, especially since cooking seemed to have such a calming effect on the anxious slave. The result was that Quatre continued to cook while Wufei filled the basement freezer with uneaten meals.

Despite this ceaseless and somewhat frantic cooking, Quatre never missed a chance to sit with Master, even when it wasn't his turn to watch over Master. He would put something in the oven or on the stove to simmer on low and then come in to sit with us for half an hour, an hour, or whatever amount of time he could manage. Our turns were loosely based on the movies we watched; we all took turns picking the movies, and whoever chose the movie also got to sit beside Master, or on his lap if he was awake.

It was currently Trowa's turn, and a romantic comedy was playing softly in the background. Master had been awake when the movie changed, since Wufei's action movie had been enough to interest him, and I had an inclination that Trowa probably chose this movie partially because he knew it would (as it did) bore Master to sleep. Still, since Master was awake when the movie started, he pulled Trowa onto his lap as he reclined against the arm of the couch, his head eventually falling onto Trowa's shoulder as he dozed off.

I watched only slightly enviously as Trowa closed his eyes and listened to Master's steady breathing and the beating of his heart. Knowing that it would be my turn to do the same in only a few hours kept jealousy at bay, although I could feel it nipping at my heels when I watched Master's hand stroke Trowa's hair as he slept, murmuring something incoherent into his ear. Trowa smiled softly, then glanced up as Quatre entered from the kitchen, still wearing an apron with oven mitts in the pocket. They exchanged affectionate looks as Quatre perched on the arm of the couch, gently stroking his fingers along the side of Master's face. Trowa nodded toward the awkward position of Master's head and looked pointedly at the pillows at the other end of the couch, and Quatre quickly fetched the pillows and helped settle Master's head so the strain was removed from his neck.

Their interaction was so smooth and unassuming that I glanced at Duo, sitting beside me on the floor by the couch Master was on, and wondered if he and I would ever be like that. True, we had gotten better with interacting and better still at reading each other's signs, but there was still something young and uncertain about our budding relationship. There was something… timid and anxious about the way Duo acted with me, and I'm sure the same was true about me. Still, there was a fierceness beneath that in both of us, a desire to form an unbreakable bond with another person, and a true belief that we might finally be able to do it.

Besides, I thought as I touched Duo's hand and he gave me a smirk before toppling dramatically into my lap, there was something playful and primal in my relationship with Duo that I didn't think the other two had. They had stability in their relationship, but it seemed that both Duo and myself craved creativity and ingenuity more than stability and the same thing. But, who was to say which was better?

By that evening, constant rest, vitamins, fluids, and a large dose of adoration had caused Master to lose the pale, waxen look of his skin. The bags under his eyes had begun to fade and some of his strength was returning. It became easier for him to stay awake, and he was focusing better. Wufei, who had been taking more and more responsibility overseeing the house while Master became sick, decided that Zechs was probably strong enough for a trip up the stairs, and that sleeping in his own bed would be worth more than climbing the stairs would cost him. It hadn't been an issue the night before, since Sally had wanted him to stay in the medical room where she could watch him, but Sally had left early in the morning with instructions to make sure Zechs slept often and well.

Wufei attempted to minimize the issue of getting Master up the stairs, but we were all worried enough that, one way or another, it was going to be an ordeal. Wufei's plan was going to be to simply have Trowa and me walk behind Master in case he would fall, while Wufei led him up the stairs to keep him from stumbling. What he didn't count on was the nervous Quatre hovering at the top of the stairs shouting advice, or the upset Duo pacing at the bottom of the stairs muttering obscenities and looking like he could just barely control the urge to push us all aside, toss Master over his shoulder, and carry him to the room himself. I saw Master grit his teeth and roll his eyes, but I knew he was too kind to snap at Quatre or Duo- Quatre, because all of the mothering was coming from genuine concern for his loved ones, and Duo because it was the first time he'd shown any inkling of an emotion other than abhorrence for Master. In some ways, it seemed like Master's sickness was actually a good thing.

We got to the top of the stairs without incident, as Master had barely even stumbled. He walked slowly, still weak from his illness, but more surefooted than he'd been before. Once the stairs were out of the way, he walked to the doorway of his room and turned to us.

"Alright, now, you've all safely tucked me in. I assure you, I'm perfectly capable of putting my pajamas on by myself, and since al of you are already dressed for the night, so I want you all to go to bed."

I thought it was a pretty reasonable request. After all, we'd been smothering Zechs all day, and I knew he was getting tired of being treated like an invalid. We had all changed into our pajamas earlier, except Duo who had never bothered to change out of his, so it seemed logical that we would retire for the night.

Quatre, however, stepped forward with a determined look on his face.

"I'm not going," he said, and in his long-sleeved, button-up blue top and pajama pants, he reminded me of a five-year-old.

"Eh…" Master said, surprised by this sudden stubbornness from the usually sweet Quatre. "Why not?"

"I don't want to be away from you," he said, stepping forward and leaning against Master's chest, then staring up at him with big, pleading eyes. "Can't I stay here with you? Please? I'm scared," he said in such a piteous voice that Master could only cast a helpless glance at Wufei, who smiled and nodded.

"Fine, you can sleep in here, but only for tonight," Master said, giving Quatre a stern look that would have been more effective if he hadn't been stroking the blonde's hair. "Now, I'm going to get dressed," he said, then turned and disappeared into the master bathroom. Wufei followed Zechs into the bedroom, and Trowa followed Wufei, since there was no way he was going to sleep without Quatre. Meanwhile, Duo stepped forward and put a hand on Quatre's shoulder, and I got to watch the innocent look disappear from Quatre's face to be replaced with a pleased grin as he cast the victory sign at Duo. Duo laughed as Quatre walked into Master's room, but all I could do was gape.

"You… you corrupted Quatre!" I accused in shock.

"Who? Me? No way. That brain-child was all his. I just bet him it wouldn't work. Who knew Zechs was such a sucker for a pair of batting eyelashes. And that Quatre, man is he good. He almost had me going there for a second, and I knew all about his plan."

"But… what plan?"

"To stay with Zechs. Quatre doesn't trust him not to sneak down to his office later tonight. It was either this or sleeping in front of the office."

"But Wufei…"

"…Has to sleep sometime, and you know how sneaky Zechs can be. It's pretty damn unlikely he'll be able to get around the five of us, though. And, besides, who can pass up the chance at a sleepover? So come on already!" Duo said, darting into the bedroom. I sighed indulgently and followed.

Despite being fine with the rest of us sleeping in the room, Wufei was no about to give up his spot next to Master, so once Master returned he and Wufei laid down in the middle of the bed. Master was in red, silk sleeping pants and no shirt, while Wufei was in white cotton, Oriental looking pajamas. Quatre was the next to crawl into bed, climbing up beside Wufei and laying down with his back pressed against Wufei's chest. Wufei seemed to be ready to have a panic attack, looking at Quatre with a startled, frightened expression until Zechs patted his shoulder reassuringly and crossed an arm over Wufei to lay his hand on Quatre's hip. Trowa, clothed in black pants and a black sweater, crawled in next and curled up facing Quatre, so content that I thought he might purr.

Duo didn't climb in the bed. Instead, he shoved me into the bed to lie against Master's back, then dove under the covers and wiggled until he was curled up in the blankets and pressed against my stomach. I huffed in annoyance, but pulled him closer anyway. We were both in shorts and wearing tank-tops, so his bare legs twined with mine, and his hands rubbed along my uncovered arms. I sighed contentedly, feeling Master's even breathing against my back.

There was such a feeling of… family in the room, it felt like nothing could ever go wrong as long as we were all together. These men were less than my lovers, so far, but more than my brothers. We were all we had in the world, and Master was the cornerstone that kept it all from falling apart. And I knew, right then, that there was nothing I wouldn't do to protect this. Whatever the cost, whatever the need, I would protect my family.

Duo 166

I was going to have sex with Zechs. I had made up my mind, and now there was nothing that could stop me from screwing my sexy master. I was Shinigami, the legend of Collar, the best sexual slave in the last decade. There were men who would kill to have me at my best, to have me willing and pliant beneath them. I was a god.

So why the hell couldn't I get Zechs to notice my sexy ass?

I mean, honestly, it wasn't like being owned by Zechs had made me any less attractive. Heero was still banging me like crazy, and I could make Trowa pause and Quatre squeak if I bent over the right way. Hell, I even made Wufei run out of the room one time by rubbing my chest and licking my lips the right way, although that probably wasn't anything to brag about since Wufei's such a prude. And, I mean, I could possibly believe that my illnesses had left me out of shape, but I'd been mistreated so much after my first master died that I was probably looking better now than I had since then. Honestly, I kind of thought I looked better now than I did at the start of my slave career, especially since I'd lost that babyish look and had full matured into an older-teen body. Then again, maybe the whole pedophilia thing was the only thing I had going for me. Oh hell, that couldn't be it… could it?

The problem was, it wasn't that Zechs didn't notice me at all. He noticed me, and would often stare in well-concealed shock for a few moments, then turn and walk away. Like he knew I was being sexy, but he didn't really care. Was that worse than not knowing at all? I couldn't decide.

Still, I hadn't been putting all the Maxwell moves on him. Since Zechs was so damn waked out on Tuesday and Wednesday, I hadn't started harassing him with the innuendo until Thursday, and Sally didn't clear him for sex until Friday morning. Still, it bothered me that it was Friday evening and I still hadn't managed to get him to jump my bones.

I couldn't tell why, but there seemed to be something important about getting him to screw me before he left on Monday. Not anything foreboding, just some sense that it was important not to wait any longer. I don't know, maybe I was afraid that I wouldn't get up the balls to make a move again once it got closer to Collar. Everything was going to start moving faster after the next couple of weeks, make no mistake. We could all feel our vacation winding down, and the upcoming summer visits were only the precursor to the stress-filled nightmare that was the Collar games. Once things started speeding up for the return to Collar, we wouldn't have time for sex, let alone the energy.

And I did want to have sex with Zechs. I was well aware that he would continue our arrangement if I wanted to, because he was more interested in having me win than having me under him. The thing was, I didn't really feel like I was being used. It was like a work contract, where I would compete for him only if I received proper food, housing, care, and treatment. Hell, Zechs had even gone above and beyond what I would have demanded for my cooperation in making sure I had an education and giving me an allowance. I couldn't ask for more from a master, but… hell, he was more like my boss than anything, while he was a real lover to the others. I saw the way they petted him and worried while he was sick, but I also saw the way he held and reassured them. It was like he didn't just want them to be healthy, but he wanted them to be happy, too. And that's when it clicked, that he really did care about us.

Yeah, I know, I've always been a bit slow on the uptake. Bite me.

Anyway, the whole thing made me sick with envy. I mean, I was just as worried as everyone else, but I was the only one who couldn't crawl into his lap and lounge while he comforted me. Everyone else got to be petted and reassured, and all I could do was sit close and hold his damn hand.

Not that Zechs would have told me no if I'd tried anything. I'm sure he would have been shocked as hell, but I know he would have taken me into his lap just as easily as anybody else. It was just that I'd spent so much time fighting him and trying to stay away, I wasn't sure how to get close now. Being in somebody's lap is, admittedly, a pretty intimate thing, and I just didn't have any intimacy with Zechs. Hell, we'd barely ever been alone together, let alone touching or hugging much. I just didn't think it was the kind of thing I could start doing with him so sick and everyone else watching. So I kept my usual distance, trying to seem unconcerned when all I really wanted to do was grab him and shake the sense back into that blonde head, then crawl in his lap and hide there for a couple years.

And now, I was damn well going to get myself a piece of that affection, not to mention a piece of that ass.

My first serious attempt at getting laid was on Friday afternoon. Zechs had been released to light exercise, but was still banned from his office. Still, since Quatre had pretty much pinned him to the couch for the last few days, even being able to get up and move around must have been a huge relief. Zechs took full advantage of his newfound mobility, sometime just walking from room to room to keep from sitting down. Things were starting to return to normal, and the others weren't on top of him all the time like they had been. I decided to use his pacing habit to my advantage.

The first thing I did was to take a shower in the shared upstairs bathroom. I was a little nervous about the missing lock, but I put a chair in front of the door and felt secure enough to take a quick shower. After that, I got out and combed my hair, then ran a steaming hot bath. Once the temperature in the room was hot and humid enough, I knew my skin would start to glisten with the moisture. Then I wrapped a towel around my waist and listened for Zechs to come up the stairs. I heard him not long after, walking casually up, and I quickly opened the door and stepped into the hall. I let myself walk a little bit, feeling Zechs' eyes on my back all the while, and waited for him to make a sound. He only gave out a slight gasp, but I took the opportunity and spun around like I'd been startled, "accidentally" flinging my towel somewhere down the hall. I let my momentum carry me off balance and intentionally fell to the floor, landing on my side and raising one knee to hip level in a seductive yet helpless manner. Then I gave him my startled, "Help me, I've fallen and I'm too sexy to get up" eyes.

And that fucking bastard had the gall to rush over, put his robe around me, help me up, and ask if I was all right. Not even a blink toward my sexy parts, not even a blink! Maybe he wasn't gay after all. He didn't even offer to check me for injuries, just asked if I thought he should call Sally. What a prick.

But I wasn't finished yet. I decided to try to be more seductive on the next one and less helpless. Maybe that was what screwed me up. Maybe I was just too good at looking like I needed help. We all knew that Zechs was a sucker for the wounded puppy routine, but he was the kind of person who helped the puppy, not the kind who screwed it. It was pretty plain, when I thought about it, why the last routine hadn't worked out.

For the next one, I decided to try my routine with the ice-cubes. I tossed on a pair of shorts and let my hair down to dry, and then I waited until Zechs was alone in the kitchen. When he was, I sauntered in and opened the refrigerator, paying no mind to him as he sat at the bar and read a newspaper. I got out an ice-cube and put it to my lips, then closed the door and leaned on it.

"It's kind of hot, don't you think?" I asked absently, playing with the ice-cube with my tongue and letting some of the water drizzle down my chin.

"Not really," Zechs said, glancing up from his newspaper.

"I don't know, I just feel really… hot," I said, panting a little for the effect. I pulled the ice-cube away from my lips and ran it down my throat and behind my ear, knowing that it was leaving a glistening wet trail wherever it went. I tilted my head back and closed my eyes, letting my hands do all the work. I ran the ice across my chest and all the way across my abs, then circled back up to my throat again, giving a small moan of pleasure. I heard Zechs get up and walk toward me, and had to stifle a smile of triumph. He moved until he was just inches in front of me, and I opened my eyes to meet his lusty blue ones… only they were the same concerned blue eyes I'd seen earlier. Then he put his hand on my forehead, which I thought was a good sign until he said, "You don't feel like you have a fever." And then he took my damn temperature! And not even with the rectal thermometer! That damn heterosexual! Straight bastard!

I was actually getting pretty worried after that one failed, because those two attempts together had cost me most of Friday. I figured my best bet was to wait until Saturday morning when Heero was swimming, Wufei was training, Quatre was cooking, and Trowa was feeding the horses. That would give me at least an hour and a half where Zechs would be alone.

What I needed to do was give him a sign that he could neither miss, nor misinterpret, nor ignore. What I came up with was pretty damn kinky, and I had to make a run to the basement for some rope, but I was Shinigami, damn it. If there was anything I was good at, it was sex.

Now, before I go into any details about what I did, please remember that I was desperate. Not only could I feel my chance at getting close to Zechs and being solidified as one of the family slipping away, but I was also starting to worry about my ability to be sexy. I mean, I was Shinigami, and I couldn't even get one master to take a gander at my ass? And Heero was still sleeping with me, but maybe he was just desperate to get laid. Maybe I'd gotten ugly or something.

Anyway, what I'm trying to get at here is that it was now not only about me getting to sleep with Zechs, but also a little about proving that I still had all my talent and stroking my ego a bit, since it had been pretty well deflated by Zechs' first two refusals (not that it was small now or anything, just that it was a lot smaller than it had been.)

So I waited until the point just before I knew he'd come upstairs for his morning shower, and then I went into his bedroom, stripped, and tied myself spread-eagled to his bed.

And hoped to hell he didn't misinterpret this one, because then I'd have to really start wondering about his mental capacities.

I managed to get myself tied up without too much difficulty. I had a lot of skill in getting knots untied, but to do that you had to have a good bit of knowledge on how the knot was tied, so I wasn't too bad at tying myself up either. Zechs' bed was huge so I had to use a lot of rope, but it had a nice sturdy post at each corner, not like those round monstrosities at Collar, and I had a pretty good idea of how strong the thing was since I, along with the others, had all been sleeping with Zechs until last night, when he told us in no uncertain terms to get the hell back to our own beds. It had been pretty cool, sleeping in the big bed with everyone else, but I was kind of relieved to get my own space back and to have private time with Heero again.

When I tied the knots, I couldn't help but leave myself a little extra slack in the ropes, in case I needed to make a quick getaway. I trusted Zechs, or I never would have given any thought to sleeping with him, let alone tying myself up to do it. I trusted Zechs, but… some memories will never quite fade away. I'd been tied up too many times against my will to ever really feel comfortable in a situation that made me that vulnerable. I had a bad tendency toward panic attacks, and I knew that being restrained was one of my triggers. So, while I was pretty sure I could control this reaction if I knew someone trustworthy was watching out for me, I didn't want to wreck everything because the binds on my wrist were too tight and I flashed back to something unpleasant. I wanted to show Zechs that I trusted him, but there were some things I just wasn't sure I could ever do.

So I waited patiently for Zechs to come upstairs and tried not to fidget too much, because pulling on the bindings would cause them to become tighter and make it harder for me to get out. It seemed like ages before I heard Zechs' footsteps on the stairs, and an eternity before I saw his shadow falling through the doorway.

He didn't gasp or yelp or do any of the shocked behaviors I thought he would. He just stood there and… stood there. He didn't move at all. It felt like forever, and all I could see was his shadow. At first I tried to be patient and wait for him to decide what to do, because I knew I was probably a pretty strange sight, but after a while I just couldn't take it. I started twisting and pulling against my bonds, trying to see into the hall to find out what Zechs was doing. The whole restraint idea was looking more stupid as I continued to feel more vulnerable.

And then… I heard the footsteps move away.

Well, that was it then, wasn't it? I'd just get out of these ropes, head back to my room, and work on some of the homework Wufei had assigned a few weeks ago. It wasn't the end of the world; I'd just go on with my day like nothing had happened. Just… as soon as… I got out… of these… damn.

The ropes were too tight. All the struggling and pulling to see what the Zechs-bastard was doing, and I'd managed to pull them so tight that I couldn't move my fingers. Without the use of my fingers, there was no way to get myself free. I hadn't thought about how easy to escape the knots were, because I had assumed that I'd leave myself enough slack to pull right out, so I'd picked the most intricate design I knew. Now, however, with my arms tied and crossed behind my head and my legs up and apart at an angle that gave me no leverage, I was completely stuck. There was nothing I could do but wait for help.

I didn't cry, okay? The room was just… really dusty. I have allergies.

It just… it sucked really bad. Here I was the whole time thinking Zechs just didn't get it, and it turns out that I just didn't get it. Out of all his slaves, he just didn't want me. I was just a tool to further his career as a master and to make him look good at Collar.

Well, that was fine. Hell, I'd been in a lot worse situations than this. I'd just treat it like a job. I had Heero, and the other guys weren't so bad, so I could just stay out of Zechs' way and everything would be fine, right?

The problem was, thinking about spending the rest of my life on the outside of this little circle the others had formed around Zechs made my stomach turn. I didn't want to be a loner anymore. I wanted to be part of the group.

I wanted… to be part of the family.


	163. Duo 167

Heero has sex with Duo, talks to Duo about Master (before sex

I think I… allergied myself to sleep, because the next thing I knew Heero had come in and sat down beside me on the bed. I had a moment were I tried to jump up and run, and only managed to snap my bindings painfully tight as I pulled against them and they relentlessly held me back.

See, the thing is, I hadn't said anything to Heero about my attempt to seduce Zechs. I'd kind of been worried he'd say no, and I was fairly sure that I'd chicken out if I knew it was going to cause a fight with Heero. I'd thought that, at best, he'd never find out about it, and at worst he'd find out and be mad and I could blame the whole thing on Zechs. I'd never thought the bastard would rat me out to my boyfriend.

"Hello, Duo," he said as he perched himself beside my naked midsection.

"Eh… Hey, 'Ro. Um… Say, you wouldn't mind getting me down from here, would you? Do a pal a favor? All you'd have to do is untie that one little knot…"

"No," he said, not even looking at me. I felt my chest constrict. Why wouldn't he let me go? Hadn't I been humiliated enough? What more could they want from me? What were they going to do to me? Who had tied me up anyway? Where was I? What was going on? Why couldn't I move? Why couldn't I breathe?

A sharp slap against my face brought me back to reality and I found Heero's face mere inches away from mine.

"You're safe. Don't panic, and don't breathe so quickly. Relax. I just want to talk to you, and if I let you go you'll run away," he said calmly, and his fingers running through my bangs helped to ground me enough to breathe properly.

"Where would I go?"

"To your room or to your games. Where ever you could to get away from talking to me," he said, and I couldn't really argue. The last thing I wanted to do was talk about my humiliation now that it was complete. "So we're going to sit here, and I'll untie you when I have my answers."

"What more do you want to know, Heero?" I sighed, staring at the bed sheets. "You can see what happened with your own eyes. I tried to seduce Zechs, and he rejected me."

"Is that what you were trying to do?"

"Well… yeah. What the hell did you think I was doing?"

"I wasn't sure. Master thought you might be trying to test him, though."

"Test…? Are you serious! What the hell kind of test is this?"

"What the hell kind of seduction attempt is this?" Heero replied. "The guy who's terrified of being restrained and can't even bottom for me just tied himself down and offered himself to the master that he has not only never slept with, but also spent a large part of his time fighting with. How does that sound to you?"

"Well… sure, if you say it like that it sounds stupid."

"It is stupid."

"Hey, shut the hell up. I tried subtle. It wasn't working. So I tried something more obvious."

"Did you ever try asking?"

"Did I… what?"

"Asking. As in verbally communicating your intentions with the interested party?"

"Uh… no. That seemed weird. You know, unnatural. I'm supposed to bend over, he's supposed to jump on me."

"And that doesn't seem weird?" he asked, giving me an annoyed look. I just glared, and finally he sighed. "Master sent me up here to find your intentions and make sure you were okay. He said that, if you were serious about wanting to sleep with him, he'd send the rest of us out on a picnic this afternoon and you would have another chance."

"He said… what?" I couldn't help but wonder. Heero quirked a lopsided grin and moved so that he could stare directly into my eyes.

"You have another chance, Duo. All you had to do was ask."

"Fuck! Really?"

"Yes, Duo, you can really fuck."

"Uh…. Dude, that was awful," I told him, grinning. He smirked, and we lapsed into silence for a bit.

"Ne… Heero? Are you… Are you really okay with this? I mean, you're not mad or anything?"

"I wish you would have asked me about it first," he answered immediately. "It was… unpleasant to have Master approach me concerning your behavior and not have any idea what you had been doing," he told me, and I knew I'd hurt him with that. Hell, if he'd done it to me I'd have been flaming pissed, but I hadn't known what else to do. "I wish you would have trusted me not to hold you back from something you truly wanted, even if I didn't like it. I want you to get closer to Master, and I would have supported you in your attempt, if you had told me. At the very least, I would have convinced you not to attempt something this ridiculous. What were you thinking? What if Master had decided to take up your offer? What would you have done if he wanted to have sex with you in these ropes?"

"Hey! I'll have you know I was Shinigami. I've had sex in ropes tons of times."

"Yes, with a Master you knew and trusted, and before you experienced years of trauma. It's different now. You have to be more careful with yourself, and acclimate yourself back into sex. You almost had a panic attack when I refused to release you from the ropes. You can't expect me to believe that you would have done any better with Master."

"I… suppose not. I just… I knew I wouldn't be able to do this if you didn't want me to, and I didn't want to risk it. I… I'm sorry."

"It… I'm not angry," he said, leaning over and curling against me. "I thought about this on my way up here. I know Master… I know Zechs is a kind lover. He'll take good care of you. I want you to be happy, and I know being with Zechs will help you feel like you belong."

He paused then, and pressed his face against my neck.

"I don't want this to come between us. I don't think it will. We won't let it, will we?"

"No," I whispered back to him, a conviction in my voice that I knew he needed. "I never would have started this if I thought there was a chance of it splitting us up. I thought you might be angry with me for a while, but I was always sure you'd come back to me. I'm not going anywhere either. You and me? Nothing's going to happen to that. I don't lie."

"Hm," he said and rubbed his cheek against mine. "I think you've earned your freedom then. Let's get you out of these ropes and I can rub some ointment into the rope burns I'm sure you've given yourself."

"That would be awesome," I said, squirming excitedly as he began to work on my knots.

Heero ended up having to cut me out of the ropes because I'd pulled the knots so tight. I just wanted the hell out of those things, so I was happy with whatever got me out the quickest. Once that was done Heero made good on his promise and rubbed some ointment on my sore wrists and ankles, which then turned into a massage, and finally resulted in me being dead asleep. I think that might have been Heero's intent all along, to let me sleep some more and prepare for later, and also to recover from the somewhat emotionally challenging day I'd already had. Whatever he meant to do, it ended up in putting me to sleep until it was almost lunchtime.

When I came downstairs, I found Quatre packing a picnic basket in the kitchen. I found that Zechs had decided to take a more… tactful approach to seduction than I had. I could only surmise that he'd mentioned the picnic to Quatre, and then waited for Heero to reveal that I was sleeping. Once that revelation was made, he began to complain of a headache, and offered that instead of ruining the picnic for everyone, he and I would stay here and the others could go of and enjoy the day. Apparently he'd been pretty adamant about it, but not so decided that Quatre had been tipped off. Anyway it happened, within half an hour of my awakening, everyone was gone and I was alone in the house with the man I'd been throwing myself at all weekend.

Only, now that our coupling was imminent, it was starting to look a hell of a lot less appealing and a hell of a lot more frightening. I mean, hell, Zechs is fucking huge! And I realized when we were standing in the doorway waving goodbye that I have to crane my neck to look up at him. If everything was in proportion (and I'd never seen him naked to dispute it) I was going to be speared! Fuck! What was I thinking? This was all Heero's fault!

"You don't have to stare at me like I'm the grim reaper," Zechs said suddenly startling me out of my panicked haze. I realized I'd been staring and blushed, but Zechs only quirked a lopsided grin. "It's good to see you're actually taking this seriously, though. I was worried for a bit that you'd just want to jump on me and be done with it."

"You've got it a little backwards there, but that was the gist of what I was going for, I suppose."

"Is that what you still want?" he asked, and I thought about it and realized that I really didn't want the quick, bam and it's over kind of sex. That wouldn't really do anything but make us both uncomfortable afterwards, would it? It certainly wouldn't get me the closeness that I was after.

"No, that's not what I want."

"Good."

"Good?"

"Mm-hm. I was a little worried you just wanted a roll in the hay. I think Heero might be somewhat upset if you were just being… promiscuous."

"Is that why you turned me down earlier?" I wondered.

"Earlier? Hardly. Honestly, I wasn't sure what in the world you were thinking. I thought…" he said, then hesitated.

"Thought what?" I prompted curiously.

"Well… All of the other boys are adhering rather strictly to Sally's orders, even now that her timeframe is over. So they haven't been as… forthcoming as they usually are. I was starting to wonder if you knew that and you were using it as a creative method of tormenting me."

I had to pause for a minute to translate Zechs' words into something I could manage to understand, but when I did it had me howling with laughter.

"Let me get this straight. The rest of your slaves are so upset with you that they aren't putting out, and you thought I was being a cock-tease? Oh hell! And here I was starting to think you were just stupid."

"Oh please. That move with the towel? That was the worst acting I've ever seen. I thought for a bit that you'd mistaken me for Heero and were just too embarrassed to admit it."

"Shinigami is never embarrassed about anything!"

"I suppose I shouldn't be surprised, with the way you and Heero go at it."

"You perv. You just like listening," I replied, but the reminder of Heero and what we were about to do killed off the lighthearted mood and we lapsed back into a strained silence.

"You know…" Zechs said hesitantly. "It's not too late to back out, if you want to."

"Shinigami isn't afraid of anything," I told him sternly, and wished I felt more like the old Shinigami.

"Well… just keep that in mind. If you want to stop, all you have to do is say so. We'll can stop and try again some other time. Remember that."

"I know, I know," I told him, but it actually had helped me to hear it, although I was pretty sure Zechs would let me go at any time if I asked him. "We should… Can we go inside? I really don't want to do any of the voyeurism stuff right now."

Zechs chucked and nodded, guiding me inside without touching me. I wondered if he was worried that I'd bolt at the first contact. I wondered how he thought we were going to manage this if that were the case.

Zechs led me through the kitchen, and we were half way down the hall before I realized we were headed for the stairs. It only then dawned on me that we were headed for his room and I baulked.

"What's wrong?" Zechs wondered.

"We can't go upstairs."

"Why?"

"Because we are not going to fuck in the bed where you screw Wufei, and we're certainly not going to fuck in the bed where I screw Heero, so unless you're comfortable doing it where Troaw and Quatre fuck, the upstairs is out of rooms."

"O-okay. So… where would you like to go?"

"Kitchen?"

"Duo… that's unsanitary, not to mention gross."

"Yeah, and Quatre would probably kick both our asses if he found out. Pool?"

"I don't think it's a good idea to be that adventurous on our first time. It might not be safe. Besides, don't you have a problem with large bodies of water?"

"I have a problem with just about everything. Where the hell else are we supposed to go?"

"How about the couch? That's kind of a traditional place for first times, its safe, and no one's going to kick our asses about it."

"Cool."

"It's settled then."

"Yeah."

"So… we should go there."

"Yep."

"Ah…"

"Hmm…"

"Umm…"

"Oh fucking hell!" I cursed, "This is stupid!" I growled, and stormed into the living room, with Zechs trailing quietly behind me. Once in the living room, I tossed myself down on the couch and glared at Zechs, who was standing uncertainly in the doorway. I wasn't actually mad as Zechs, but I couldn't understand what was making me so nervous. I'd never been so anxious about sex before. I knew Zechs wouldn't hurt me, so why was I more upset instead of less?

And why the hell wasn't Zechs taking control here? He was the master, after all, wasn't he supposed to tell me what to do? Things would go a lot easier if I just knew where my place was in this situation. Someone had to take the lead, right? But with me being afraid of pissing Zechs off for being too bossy and Zechs being afraid of scaring me off by being too demanding, it seemed pretty likely that we were doomed to stare at each other awkwardly for the rest of the night.

"This isn't going to work if we can't settle enough to get close to each other," Zechs pointed out, finally plopping heavily onto the armchair. "Maybe we should just chalk this up to the both of us being too high strung and try again in a few days?"

"No. Fuck. I know I need to calm down, but… I really want this to work. If we quit now, I'm afraid I won't get the guts to try again."

"I see. Well, perhaps we should start by figuring out what's making you so stressed and remove the issue it. So, what seems to be the problem?"

"You."

"Unfortunately, we really can't remove me from this situation."

"No, I mean… could you stop staring at me?"

"I could try, but I really think I'm going to need to look at you at some point for this to be a success."

"No, I mean, can't you stop watching me like I'm going to bolt and you're going to have to tackle me to keep me from disappearing into the forest?" I asked, and Zechs seemed a little surprised.

"Ah. I'm sorry, but old habits die hard. I'm so used to seeing you cringe at my touch that I guess this is just as strange for me as it is for you."

"Sorry about that. I never… I mean… it never crossed my mind that you might not be a complete freaking ass-wipe with perverted morals who likes to take little boys and…"

"I think I get it, Duo, thank you."

"No, that's not what I mean. I just… I never thought I'd meet a kind master again," I told him, and I heard my voice soften and hush, but I was powerless to do anything about it. "After Solo died and I started getting passed from master to master… I started thinking that maybe Solo was the only good thing in the world, and I hadn't been strong enough to hold onto him. It was… it was my penance, what was being done to me."

"Duo…"

"No, just listen. In my head, I always knew it wasn't my fault. Maybe it was chance or a pissed off deity, but I knew it wasn't my fault that they were doing it to me. In my heart, though, sometimes it felt like I had already had my chance at happiness, and I had lost it. I deserved anything that happened to me, because I had let my happiness get away and it would never return."

"You don't feel that way now, do you?"

"How could I? I'm… I might be happier now than I even was with Solo. Maybe that's because I understand the worth of happiness now, or because I know how precious it is, or because I understand what I want out of life better now. With Solo, I was happy because he bought me things and gave me attention, but now… now I know that I want things for myself, and that I want to do things for myself as well as having others to help and care about me. I don't know… I really do think Solo loved me, but he was always showing it by buying me stuff. When you've never had money, you tend to be pretty damned susceptible to the idea that money equals love. About a hundred masters who bought me shit just to get me to cooperate later and I finally learned the truth. Money isn't worth shit, but love and respect are the most precious things in the world. I don't… I'm terrified of losing either."

"You know this isn't going to change anything, Duo."

"Won't it? Maybe if I do it right it won't, but what if I can't? What if Shinigami is useless as a whore? And, even if a do a good job, what if Heero gets upset? What if the dynamics of the household fall apart? You and Heero and the others… this is the only family I've ever known. That's why I'm so afraid of losing it."

"The only family…? But, certainly you had a family at some point. You weren't born into Collar, right? I thought that was against the rules, so you had to grow up somewhere."

"My childhood really isn't much to talk about. I was born on the streets. Until I was picked up for Collar, I was in and out of orphanages, foster homes, and street gangs. No one ever kept me around long enough for me to form a bond. The orphanages were just trying to get me out, the foster homes only saw a dollar sign on me, and the gangs were always moving and changing so much that it couldn't really be called a family. The only person I could rely on was myself. I learned to pickpocket, and I found that the more charming I was the easier I got into people's pockets. That's probably the reason I got so popular at Collar, since, along with my great looks, I'm really good at manipulating a crowed."

"I see."

"So do you understand? I don't want… I can't mess this up. I…"

"Come here."

I hesitated a moment, all of my old fears suddenly rearing up.

"I don't bite, honestly," he teased, giving me a non-threatening smile. I relaxed, grinned at him and got up.

"You don't, but I might," I joked, then found myself feeling awkward once again as I stood just a few inches in front of Zechs. He opened his arms to me, and I felt my heart beat faster. His eyes were warm and kind, and his hands were lax and unthreatening, but I still couldn't make myself move. I couldn't reach for what I so desperately wanted. He was offering me belonging, but I was afraid to take it.

"It's now or never, Duo," he told me gently, never moving his body as he waited for me to come to him. "I can't give you your happiness. You have to reach for it."

And that was all it took. I reached, and in the next moment I found myself in his lap, on my knees as I faced him and rested on his thighs, panting like I'd climbed an insurmountable wall. I rested my forehead against his, feeling his warm breath against my neck as I tried to get my bearings. Slowly, cautiously, I felt his arms move to hold me, giving me just enough pressure to be reassuring, without making me feel restrained.

I tried to laugh, but all I could manage was something of a smiling cough. I've never done well with emotionally charged situations, but my usual witty one-liners had all fled at Zechs' touch.

"Kiss me," he whispered against my lips, and I was so grateful for the direction that I didn't even fight the implied command.

Our lips met, softly at first, and then more desperately as fear gave way to an intense excitement. Zechs' tongue slipped out and brushed against my bottom lip, and it was all the encouragement I needed to mesh our mouths together and let my tongue sneak out to tease his. My arms came up of their own violation to warp around his shoulders, pulling him closer.

I loved Heero. Zechs wasn't Heero. Despite this, I found, somewhat guiltily, that being with Zechs was almost as good as being with Heero. There was something arousing about not being the one with the responsibility. It's hard to describe the feeling of being able to know that you are where you're supposed to be, doing what you're supposed to do, and liking it. Now that Zechs had earned my trust, I was able to finally let myself go and gain that feeling again. It wasn't as good with Zechs simply because I didn't love him, and I knew I could never love him fully because we weren't equals. Still, if Heero hadn't been around, I'm sure I would have fallen for Zechs. Perhaps, in some part of my mind, I was afraid of being with Zechs because I was afraid I'd fall in love with him.

The kiss made everything right. It was good, but it wasn't Heero. I would always want Heero, no matter who else I was with. My soul called to him. Still, I was with Zechs now, and since I had nothing left to fear, I let passion take control. I gasped and ground myself against his groin, feeling the heat of his dick even through his pants. We were both hard and ready, and I was tired of waiting.

"Fuck me," I whispered in his ear, licking the shell and nibbling on the lobe afterwards.

"Ask right," he demanded in reply, a quiver betraying his otherwise even tone. He was just as ready as I was, so what the hell was he talking about? I wondered for a minute, and then realized it might have been my usually seductive phrasing that turned him off.

"Make love to me," I asked this time, hoping this time I was right, because I wasn't sure how much longer I could take this.

"That I can do," he replied, and lifted me as he stood, then laid me down on the couch and climbed on top of me, sitting astride my legs and pushing up my shirt to kiss his way down my chest.

"Zechs," I called, feeling like I had to say something before this got out of hand.

"Hmm?" he asked, never leaving his task.

"I love Heero. You know that, right?" I said, and he paused a moment before nodding.

"That isn't the kind of love I'm talking about. It would be twisted and incestuous to say that this is the family or friend kind of love, but I do care for you. You know that, right? This isn't just fucking, as you put it. Heero is your lover, but I won't just be the man that's screwing you," Zechs said, never looking me in the eyes. Maybe he had his own fears just like the rest of us. Could a slave be using a master? It seemed almost like that was what he was afraid of. It made me smile.

"Friends with benefits, then? Caring master with equally devoted slave? Male bonding?"

"Eh… I think that first one worked best. Now be quiet while I work," he told me, and oh did he work!

Portion removed for restricted content. Please see livejournal for full version.

It was probably about an hour later when we woke up. It went something like this.

"Duo? Zechs?" I heard Wufei say as the back door slammed. "Where are you… Fuck!"

"Ain't karma a bitch?" I said, smirking at an aghast Wufei as he gaped at us.

"I don't know what you're talk-…"

"Remember how I found you and Zechs? Take that!"


	164. Trowa 174

Please note! Chapters 168 to 173 will not be posted here because they deal primarily with the boys exploring their sexuality. If you want to see these stories, or you'd like to see the unedited version of this chapter, you'll have to visit my Live Journal account. You can find the site posted on my profile. Thanks for reading!

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Master and Wufei spent most of Saturday morning discussing which parties they would attend in the next week. Master had received ten invitations to Collar parties, which was fairly high and probably mostly because of the notoriety of both Duo and Wufei. It would be unrealistic to try to attend all of the parties he had been invited too, and would probably make Master look proud or desperate for approval. The rest of us slaves waited anxiously for word of which parties we would be attending. I had heard that the Duke had offered an invitation, but I was fairly certain it would not be accepted.

In the afternoon, Master assembled everyone and informed us that the three parties had been chosen.

"I picked the parties based primarily on the respect of the host, the ability to socialize, and the safety of you boys. I've been told that the level of competition will become higher the closer we get to the actual competition, and could actually reach dangerous levels. Because of this, I have chosen not to attend the Duke or Marcel's parties, even though I received invitations to both and would love to show you all off," Master said, obviously reassuring both Quatre and me. "We will be attending the parties of Master Vincent, Dr. Darus, and Master Adrin. All three have won Collar at least twice, and all have had slaves that placed first in different categories every year."

"Which categories?" Duo wondered.

"Vincent's slaves place in the arts categories, the doctor's place in strength and agility, and Adrin's slaves have placed in the sexual competitions every year since you left. I was hoping to get a look into the sexual competitions since you've been out for so long. I'm sure the other Masters are hoping to size up the competition as well, so if any of you are asked to show off your skills, I want you to use something that is a mid-range routine, not your best performance."

"Do you think we'll have to perform?" I wondered anxiously.

"It… seems pretty likely," Master admitted. "I think that's one of the big reasons for these competitions. It's sort of a last-minute way to find out what your chances of winning are."

"Don't sweat it, Tro," Duo said, patting my shoulder. "You just show off a couple old tricks and check out the other guy. It's really no big thing. It's like… practice, but with a crowd."

That didn't make me feel any better.

"I'm sure you'll be wonderful," Quatre said softly, lacing his fingers with mine. He smiled encouragingly and I couldn't help but smile back at him, feeling a little better.

"Alright, then, since that's settled, I'd like everyone to take the day off. I know this week is probably going to be pretty stressful, and it'll only get worse as Collar approaches. I'd like you all to take as much practice equipment with you to these parties as you can and continue your practice routine as closely as possible. Once the partoes are over, we'll only have one week before Collar begins."

At these words, I felt a shiver of nervousness, and saw the same look of trepidation on the faces of the other boys.

"Come now, don't look at me like that," Master soothed, brushing the hair out of Quatre's eyes. "You're all doing very well. I'm extremely pleased with you performances. I know you'll do your best."

"Getting all worried isn't going to help anything," Wufei added, rising from his chair. "You might as well enjoy this last day of freedom. Between the party events and the rush to perfect your routines, the next couple of weeks are going to be hell. Trust me, I know," Wufei assured, herding us from the room.

"I've got some new outfits for all of you!" Master called as we left. "They're in your ro- oomph!"

Apparently, Wufei knew exactly how he wanted to spend his last day at home.

The rest of us paired up and wandered off. Quatre and I eventually meandered into the music room. He played the piano while I accompanied on the flute. After all the practice I'd been doing, I didn't feel much like singing, and it was nice to just enjoy making music without any pressure.

We played for about an hour. Quatre sat at the piano while I sat in the window seat that overlooked the front yard. Out the window, I could see Heero and Duo playing a game of basketball on the court, sweating and smiling to their rough play.

Eventually, we all tired of playing. I knew Heero and Duo's game was finished when Duo tossed the ball into the grass and leapt at Heero, pushing him out of my line of vision. Smiling at his antics, I decided to follow suite, putting aside the flute and moving over to Quatre. I lifted his hands from the keys and gently massaged his fingers, then brought them to my lips to kiss each one. Quatre giggled and rose from the piano, silently entering my embrace. We kissed again, our lips meeting gently and unhurriedly. After all, we had all evening. Heero and Duo might be all roughhousing and adrenaline, but I could tell that Quatre was looking for something slower today, and more than before I felt the keen urge to go slowly and savor our moments together. Once again on the cusp of a dramatic change, I could only hope that this wouldn't be our last fond memory together.

I led Quatre to the couch when our kiss had deepened past using tongues and into slipping hands under garments. My shirt was long gone, and Quatre's had been unbuttoned and slipped from one shoulder. He shrugged it the rest of the way off, tossing it to the floor before dropping down to the couch and pulling me with him. Once there, it was only moments before he was on my lap, straddling me as he thrust his hands into my hair and kissed me deeply.

-Portion removed for content-

"Mm. I love having sex in the sun," he said, resting his cheek against my chest. "I wonder… if this is the last time I'll get to do it?" he wondered absently, but the very notion made my heart clench.

"Surely we'll get another chance," I whispered, trying not to alarm him with my own fears. He gave me a sleepy little huff.

"I know, I just… I really like this place. It's… It's…"

"Home," I finished, knowing exactly the feeling he was speaking of.

"Exactly," he replied, smiling at me. "I just hate the idea of leaving. I love it so much here."

"We all feel that way."

"I know, I guess I'm just worried about Collar," he said, and I wondered if could… if I dared… talk about my own fears about the events.

"Are you… worried about your events?" I asked cautiously.

"A little," he admitted, and I wasn't entirely surprised. Duo and Wufei were already champs. Heero had been trained for Collar, though he'd never competed. Quatre and I were the only two normal slaves selected, and Quatre had a rich, cultured upbringing to fall back on. I alone was going into the competition with no prior training or experience.

I… was Master's weakest link.

"I mean," he continued thoughtfully, "I'm pretty sure about all my events. I've practiced really hard, and even though some of the other slaves have had longer to study, I think I've managed to do some really neat new things, you know?"

"Oh," I said, hiding my disappointment behind bland interest.

"I just… I don't think it'll help to get all worried and nervous. We can only do our best, right? Once we get to the Collar parties I'll know what I really need to work on. But I think I've got a really good shot at placing pretty high. It's not like we have to win, you know? Between Wufei and Duo's scores, plus the fact that Heero is so good, we only need to place in upper-mid levels to win. I'm pretty confident we can all manage that, don't you think?" he asked.

"O-of course," I told him, but I didn't feel confident about it at all. Between my earlier problems with singing and my lack of prior experience, I was worried about staying in the lower middle ranking. Ad we all knew that one total flop act could bring down the entire score.

I suddenly felt the pressure of that statement send chills of fear down my spine. One bad event, and I could lose the entire game for Master.

"Hey, is something wrong?" Quatre asked, and I knew that he had managed to sense a bad feeling from me, even though his abilities were muted by his medicine.

"I'm just… as sad as you are about leaving here. Just the thought of going to Collar depresses me," I lied easily.

"Oh," Quatre said understandingly, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you feel worse. I mean, I wonder if maybe Master would bring us back here to practice for next year's Collar, if we ask nicely?"

"I'm sure he will," I said, then gently kissed his forehead. Smiling, Quatre sighed and settled comfortably against my chest. It was the picture of serenity.

But my insides were churning with anxiety, and wondered how long I could keep up this act.

We left to attend Master Vincent's party the next morning. We went by plane, which caused Heero some anxiety while boarding, but the private jet calmed him. We reached the location by mid-morning. Duo was thrilled to find that Master Vincent's summer mansion was located on a tropical island, and immediately planned an impromptu search for real coconuts to use in sundaes- at which point Wufei had to point out that coconuts and cocoa beans were two entirely different plants.

"Well how the fuck does that make any sense? Beans? Nuts? What the fuck, man?"

"Duo… just because it has coco in the name does not necessarily mean it can produce chocolate. Besides, cocoa has to be refined and mixed with sugar before it tastes anything like the sweet treats you're used to," Wufei replied, rolling his eyes. Duo stuck out his tongue and was starting his own retort when Master stepped in between them.

"Wufei, you've got to admit that could be a little confusing. But, Duo, I'm sure you'll get to sample some of the local cuisine later on. Besides, climbing for coconuts is actually rather difficult. It's not something I'd recommend if you can avoid it."

"Been up a few coconut trees in your day?" Wufei asked him, and Master smiled.

"Indeed I have, but that's a story best saved for another day. For now, I think it's time we head down and make our introductions," Master said, and we all nodded somberly. We had begun changing into Collar dress as the flight neared landing, and were now all wearing identical wraps that covered our bodies from below the navel to mid-thigh. The fabric of the wraps was pleated, and it gave off a sort of modern, Egyptian look. Our only other coverings were a few adornments. Quatre had decided to wear earrings, bracelets, and a thick collar of silver, and his wrap was silver to match. Duo had chosen the same style, only in gold instead of silver. The rest of us had decided to wear simple leather chokers and armbands, with black wrappings to match. Master was dressed in a long, aristocratic coat ensemble, completed by boots and a small, ceremonial sword. With his hair shining like golden silk, he seemed like the monarch presenting his harem.

Perhaps he was.

The mansion was stunning. White marble was used in most of its construction, but a modern layout kept it from looking antique. It had balconies at every window, and a large marble terrace that overlooked the ocean. The beach itself was almost too perfect, with not even a shell littering the cream-colored sand. Palm trees dotted the coastline, too perfectly spaced to be naturally growing. Looking at the scene as the limousine approached, it looked like something off a postcard more than a real place. It should have been beautiful and inviting, but instead it seemed fake, forced, cold, and alien. Like something had been trying too hard to fit in, and simply made itself all the more noticeable.

There were seven other masters present at Master Vincent's party, which was a fairly normal number of guests for such an event. Master Vincent met each guest and spoke a few moments, but seemed particularly enthused to meet Master for the first time. I think it was probably because, while all of the masters he had invited were competition, none posed such an unknown threat as Master.

"Ah! Master Zechs, I'm so pleased that you could attend," Master Vincent gushed. Master Vincent was not a tall or striking man, nor did he inspire any kind of awe or respect. Facing Master Zechs, he seemed far more like a subject than an equal. Master Vincent was pale despite close proximity of sunny beaches, and his hair was a plain, dark chocolate color. He was short, with broad shoulders that made him look square even though he was not obviously muscular. He was dressed in a pure white, long-sleeved top with black silk pants. He was wearing black beret as well, which I think was supposed to tie the outfit together and make him look both sophisticated yet artistic, but really just made him seem insecure and old fashioned.

"It's a pleasure to finally meet you, Master Vincent," Master replied smoothly, and if any of the things I had noticed about Master Vincent had occurred to him, he certainly didn't let it show.

"The pleasure is all mine, I assure you. But, please, just Vincent. We are friends now, are we not?" Master Vincent said hastily. His voice was energetic but over-eager, and it wasn't difficult to tell that he had ulterior motives for inviting Master.

"Then I must ask you to call me Zechs. And I must thank you for your hospitality. Your home is beautiful."

"Yes, well, one can never get enough of beautiful things," Master Vincent said, casting his gaze on us.

"Indeed," Master said, glancing at Master Vincent's four slaves behind him. The boys were all dressed similarly to their master, with white tank-tops and small, tight, black shorts. Two were slim and dark-haired, with enough muscle and tone to suggest dancers. Another was also dark haired, but significantly taller and more broad than the pair. I noticed that his hands were calloused and wondered if he could be a sculptor. The final slave had honey-colored hair and tanned skin. He was neither slim nor overly muscular, and from the hostile looks he was throwing me I had to assume he was my competition in some event.

"I have to say," Master Vincent continued, turning back to Master. "I was a little surprised to hear that you were going to be competing this year. We've never had a master compete his first year at Collar before. Now that I see your team, though, I'd be shocked if you didn't compete. With Shinigami and The Dragon, you'll be quite a force to be reckoned with, even if you other slaves aren't quite as… experienced as they could be."

"Ah, but experience has a bad habit of become complacency, while youth and inexperience can often be supplemented by enthusiasm and creativity. Which is one of the reasons I was hoping we might be favored with a display of skill from your slaves."

I don't think Master Vincent could have looked more overjoyed if we'd offered him a full summary of our routines. He beamed, and just about tripped over himself in agreeing.

"Of course, you simply must convince your slaves to give us a performance. I'm especially interested in seeing your Dragon perform," Master Vincent said, reaching out to stroke his fingers over Wufei's cheek. Wufei glared daggers at the man, jerking his head away with an irate hiss.

"Dragon!" Master admonished sternly, grabbing Wufei's chin and forcing him to look into Master's eyes. Wufei glared, but allowed the touch. "Behave!" Master snapped, then released him angrily.

It was, of course, an act. Wufei had headed a long-winded lecture on the plane about just how bad it would be for Master to act the way he did at home with us at Collar. Firstly, he stated, it would put all the slaves in danger, because the other masters would know how large an effect killing one of us would be, and would hope that taking one slave out would cause Master to withdraw from the competition. Secondly, it could cause other masters to see Master as weak, and at Collar the only way to gain an advantage was through good contacts and a strong reputation. And, finally, if he and Duo were to act with Master the way they did at home, other would immediately suspect that he was drugging them. Even though this was untrue, the suspicion itself could cause difficulties among the other masters. Better to think that Master had grudgingly gained the respect of two wayward slaves and the devotion of three previously broken ones.

"I'm so sorry for that. Dragon can still be a bit… snappish with strangers. You'll have to forgive him, the trip has left him a bit testy."

"Of course, of course. But you seem to have made great progress with him. I've been told that he's thrown punches at masters that dared to touch him."

I don't think I imagined the shine of pride in Wufei's eyes, or the gentle amusement in Master's.

"Regardless, I do apologize. I don't usually allow such behavior, but I think perhaps the morning has been a bit stressful on all of them."

"Ah, then I must insist you retire to your room for a rest. Shall I see you at lunch?"

"Of course," Master replied. They did a quick farewell, and then one of Master Vincent's other slaves came and led us to our room. It was a beautiful suite, with a balcony that overlooked the sea. For Duo and Heero, it was the first time either of them had ever seen the ocean, and they spent the better part of half an hour holding each other and staring at the golden horizon. The circus I had lived with had often stopped along the ocean at popular tourist towns, but I couldn't help but be awed by the beauty of this particular seen. Or… perhaps it was simply the company I was viewing it with, I mused as I gently cradled Quatre in my arms, my shoulder just brushing Heero's as we stood side by side. I could feel Master behind me, Wufei standing just next to him, as we all gazed quietly as the soft, rhythmic waves.

An hour later, we were headed down to lunch, refreshed and ready to face the evening's events. Master, of course, fed us in the room, but made a show of hand feeding treats to all of us, especially Duo and Wufei, while at the table. The masters' conversations consisted mostly of recent scandal, slave training tips, and Collar competition speculation. I tuned most of it out, content to kneel at Master's feet as I quietly fretted about the upcoming displays I would have to present. I was so dazed by my own fear, that I barely noticed lunch finishing. I had never performed for anyone but Master and the others, so the prospect of showing my skills in front of fifty or sixty people was frightening at best. So, when I heard the masters discussing floral arrangement and I realized that Quatre would be first, I couldn't help but feel relieved, and guilty because of it.

But Quatre, of course, did spectacularly. Faced against Master Vincent's tallest slave, with the calloused hands, and three other slaves from other masters, he was fairly obviously just as skilled as the others. His arrangement may not have been the most modern, but there was a subtle charm to the way he organized the flowers and flowed the colors that was mildly appealing but, more importantly, held the attention and interest of the viewer far longer than any of the other pieces. And, I noted easily, he had both left out some of his favorite flowers to work with and made a few mistakes that were much too amateur for his level of skill. So, even though he easily showed the same amount of skill as the other slaves, it seemed that he had also made a conscious effort not to reveal his true level of skill.

Then… it was my turn.

I tried, vainly, to settle my nerves as we walked down the corridor and into the theater. My panic had become a loud ringing in my ears, and my thoughts flitted through the static in my brain without logic or reason. The heavy draperies or velvet-covered seats barely registered in my consciousness, although I did manage to focus enough to feel a sharp stab of fear as I was led away from Master and the others to wait with the other competitors backstage. From where we waited, just behind the curtains, I could watch each performance. Three of the five boys that performed in the musical competition used instruments- a flute, a harp, and a violin. There were only two of us that carried no instrument, the honey-haired slave of Master Vincent and me. It seemed I had been right about my earlier assessment of us being competitors, and I could tell from the harsh glare he gave me as I stepped on to the stage that he did not like letting anyone else steal his spotlight.

Once on the stage, everything was silent. The ringing in my ears vanished all at once, and the panic that had earlier dazed me now seemed to invigorate me. I could see all the eyes watching me, but it was as though I was encased in a glass box, and nothing outside the box could affect me.

I sang an old folk ballad called "Bones in the Cold River," a mid-level piece that I had mastered weeks ago. With no accompaniment, the song allowed my voice to be heard without interference, and the long, sultry notes allowed me time to play with my vocal range. It wasn't the most impressive piece I had learned, but the audience seemed rapt with attention as I sang, and by the end I felt fairly good about my skills. I even ventured a small smile as I finished.

Master Vincent's slave was up next, and sneered at me as we crossed paths. I could understand competition, but I wondered why this boy seemed to have taken such a dislike to me already. The slave was introduced as Key, and was singing "The Twilight of My Life."

His song was everything mine wasn't. Where mine had been soothing and old fashioned, his was modern and jazzy. Where I had been somber, he was enthusiastic. And where I had been good, he was better. Not only could I find no fault with his vocals, but he managed to move about the stage energetically and smile the entire time. So while the audience had been attentive in my performance, they were nearly jumping out of their seats for his.

I don't think I can describe how it felt to have all my suspicions confirmed. To suddenly realize that, not only was I not good enough, but there was no time to become good enough either. Because not only did I know that this other slave was better than me, but I also could not tell how much better than me he was. What if this was one of his lower-level songs? What if that performance had been nothing to him? How can I say how it felt to suddenly know that I was totally unworthy? It felt like a block of ice had encased my heart, and I welcomed the numbing cold.

Wufei performed next, showing off a routine that he had used several years ago, and obviously outclassing the five other competitors. We relocated to something of a gym for these performances, with the masters sitting on plush chairs while the slaves knelt on the floor. I could tell the Quatre wanted to speak to me, and was grateful that it would have been highly rude for the slaves to speak during the performance. The masters spoke, of course, but the slaves were to remain silent at all times.

The masters ate dinner next, seating themselves around a long table in the grand hall, where a dance would be held later that night. I sat on the floor with the other slaves, feeling alone despite the close circle we made. A little ways through the meal, Quatre touched my knee, and I glanced up to see a worried expression on his face.

"Are you okay?" he mouthed silently, casting nervous glances back at the table. Even this amount of communication could garner a strong rebuke, so I smiled to reassure him.

"Just disappointed," I mouthed, daring to give his hand a quick squeeze before we both settled back to our original positions. I hoped Quatre would stop worrying about me. I wasn't worth his concern.

Half-way through dinner, I got my wish. One of the other masters asked if Master would allow them to see Shinigami perform with "the cute blonde." Master hesitated a moment, probably worried about Shinigami's first public display since Master purchased him, but eventually nodded. I saw Duo lean over, grinning, and lick Quatre on the cheek. Quatre shuddered, looking to anyone else like revulsion, though I knew he was simply trying to suppress a giggle, and then followed Duo out onto the floor, where some of Master Vincent's slaves had set up blankets and pillows for just such a display.

Watching them together didn't hurt as much as it should have, but it did make the numbness spread. I didn't have anything against Duo or sharing Quatre with him, but seeing them together, seeing how Duo could make him smile and moan in ways I never could, made me feel entirely inadequate. I wondered, not for the first time, if Quatre wouldn't be better off if I stepped back and allowed the others to get closer to him. He was probably staying with me out of a misplaced sense of pity anyway. I couldn't fathom any other reason someone as lovely as him would waste his time on someone useless like me.

I spent the rest of the meal staring at my hands and trying to block out Quatre's wanton cries. I noticed that he was smiling again when he sat back down, and I was glad Duo had managed to banish his worry, even as I was upset with myself for causing it. The meal finished quickly after that, and Master, who had been hand-feeding Wufei throughout the meal to impress the other masters, sent the rest of us back to the room to eat, while keeping Wufei with him as he went to play cards.

But… I just wasn't ready to face the others alone yet. Instead, I took one of my armbands off and dropped it in a planter as we walked up. At the door to the room, I made a show of realizing that it was gone.

"Do you want me to help you find it?" Quatre asked, already halfway through the doorway.

"No, I must have dropped it on the way up, so I'll just be a minute."

"Alright," he said, giving me a quick smile before heading into the room. I watched him go until the door shut, then quickly turned and retrieved the band before heading out a side door onto the porch.

The sun was setting, and it caused the pillars supporting the porch above to create wide shadows. I settled in the darkness of one shadow, leaning on the porch railing and just trying to get my mind to settle. Too many things had happened all at once, and it seemed like my only aid in keeping it all together was the numbness that had spread across my mind. I basked in it, let it calm my thoughts and settle my emotions. I was like a shadow that had ventured too close to the light. The chill of the darkness welcomed me, soothed me, and helped me regain my mask of composure. It was bad enough that I could not be enough for Master, but I could not let my own deficiencies cause him any more embarrassment.

I sighed, and was about to head back inside, when a noise behind me startled me, and I turned swiftly around. I found my lips encased in another pair, a strong hand holding my jaw and keeping me still. I gasped, and a tongue forced itself into my mouth, the hand at my jaw now forcing my mouth to remain open. I grabbed the other man's shoulders and shoved him backwards, causing him to trip and fall to the ground as I fell backwards against the railing.

On the ground before me was Key, Master Vincent's light-haired slave and my singing opponent. He sneered at me from the ground, not bothering to get up as he reclined on his elbows.

"What the hell was that?" I snarled, wiping my mouth with the back of my hand.

"What did it look like, genius? To anybody who sees it on the security cameras, it's gonna look like you came out here to meet me, then freaked out half way through our kiss."

"You're bluffing," I hissed, praying that it was true. "There aren't any cameras here."

"Look behind you and up," he said, rolling his eyes. I stifled the urge to kick him in the face as I quickly glanced to the top of the pillar I'd been standing under and saw the small camera lens at the very top.

"Fuck," I hissed under my breath, and Key grinned.

"Exactly."

"What?"

"Look," he said, rising and stepping toward me. "I know you don't want to embarrass your master."

"He'd never believe I did that willingly!" I snarled.

"No, maybe not. But what if all the other masters saw this?" he asked slyly, stepping into my space. "Wouldn't that be… embarrassing for him? He could even lose his reputation. I mean, I'm sure your master will believe you, but to the other masters it might look like he can't keep his own slaves from running off to meet up for a good fucking."

I was silent, barely managing to breath as what he had said sank in. I saw his smile widen at my fear, and he stepped closer.

"Is that it, do you think? Do you think they'll wonder if your master just can't give it to you good enough? Can't fuck you right?"

"What about your master?" I growled, but he just shrugged.

"Master Vincent will be pissed, that's for sure, but his reputation is too solid to be tanked by something like this. What about your master's though? Could it survive this kind of scandal so soon?"

I couldn't say anything. There was nothing to say, really, because we both knew that a scandal like this could ruin my Master. But, more than that, my lungs had frozen with fear.

Key shifted closer until his shoulder brushed mine and he stood on his toes to whisper into my ear.

"I know where they keep the security tapes. I could make this all go away."

"What do you want?" I asked, but it came out as a whisper.

"Just what you offered," he said, his mouth twisting up in that damn grin again. "To fuck you."

"No."

"Alright, then, have a nice night," he said dismissively, turning away.

"Wait!" I called and he stopped.

"Isn't… Isn't there anything else I can do?" I asked desperately.

"A second-rate blow-job for something like this? I don't think so. It's fucking or nothing, baby. What do you say?"

"I want the tape first," I stipulated breathlessly, only half believing he could actually get it.

"Sure thing, babe," he told me, the smile unwavering. "You wait here, and I'll just run and get it."

And then he was gone, and I was sinking to my knees against the marble column. I let my head fall back and rested my cheek against the cold stone, trying very hard to calm my breathing. What… What in the hell was I going to do?

Key was back almost too soon, carefully setting the tape in a potted planter beside the door.

"Alright, I've held up my end of the bargain, now it's time for you to hold up yours."

I glanced behind him at the doorway, and thought for a moment about dashing past him, grabbing the tape, and running for Master's room, but he stepped in between me and the door.

"Ah ah," he protested, sneering. "Don't even think about it. If I scream, everybody will come rushing out here, and then how will you explain everything?"

"Fuck you!" I snarled, moving away from him as far as the stone railing behind me would allow."  
"No, fuck you," he corrected, and seemed to take some kind of pleasure from humiliating me. I bit my lip, desperately hoping someone would come.

But no one did. Key stepped forward, completely un-intimidated by me despite the four inches of height I had on him, and with a quick movement undid the bindings on my wrap and let it fall to the ground. I choked down a yell that I knew would have had masters and slaves alike coming to see what was the matter. As Key stepped forward and palmed my groin, I felt sick to my stomach. I couldn't even look at him as he leaned forward and kissed my neck in a way that was supposed to be enticing but simply made my skin crawl.

God, was I really going to let him do this? Was I really going to let his hands, his grabby, slimy hands touch me? Was I really going to let him fuck me?

But I couldn't let him do that to Master. I could let my screw up reflect on the others. I couldn't let Master be disappointed with me, not so soon again. And if… if this was the sacrifice I had to make… so be it.

-Removed for content-

And then he was gone.

I cleaned his slime off my chest as best I could with the inside of my wrap, then fastened the fabric around my waist again. I picked up the tape and quickly broke it open, pulling out the plastic film and stretching it until now one could possibly hope to read it. Then I tossed the tape onto the beach and headed back to the room.

"Did you find your armband?" Quatre asked as I entered our suite. I nodded once and held it where he could see, not pausing in my stride.

"Do you want lunch?" he asked, and I had to push down the bile that rose in my throat at the thought of food. I shook my head.

"Shower."

"Oh. Um… okay," he said, seeming confused and a bit worried. I tried to smile to reassure him, but I'm not sure I managed it.

It was a relief to enter the bathroom, not just because it meant I could take off my wet wrap. I was never good at lying to Quatre, and I couldn't help but worry he would find out what I had done. Strangely, though, the idea of him knowing didn't terrify me as it should. Actually… it didn't make me feel much of anything.

In the shower, I cranked up the heat until my skin began to turn red and the room filled with steam.

But the cold wouldn't fade.


	165. Zechs 175 176

I don't particularly like poker, but then I suppose most people play more for the company than for the game itself. Given the circumstances, neither impressed me.

"I'll take your bet, and raise you by six."

I couldn't remember, were the red tokens ten or a hundred thousand? It didn't really matter, I thought as I placed six more chips on the table, because while I did not overly enjoy poker, I was very, very good at it.

"Aces high, the pot to Master Zechs," said the tall slave dealing the cards. He belonged to Mistress Devine, I believe, and had been chosen at random so that no one could suspect cheating.

Wufei was sitting tensely beside me, his legs tucked under him and his back straight as he glared at the floor. I couldn't help but smile, wondering what the cold marble had done to offend him so, but I knew he was just trying to keep up pretenses. I brushed my hand along his shoulder and watched in amusement as he shuddered just a little too hard to be real.

"You haven't yet told us how you managed to tame Dragon and Shinigami, Zechs," came Vincent's voice from across the table. "Won't you regale us with the tale?"

"Not much of a tale there at all," I said, pulling my hand away from Wufei and turning back to the other masters. "You simply have to discover what the slaves need to be happy with their restraints. From there it's all about skill, discipline, and attention."

"Attention?" wondered Master Darce, a slim, dark-complexioned man.

"Mm. I find that the slaves need to feel that their master is interested in them, otherwise they assume he's not watching them and feel they can do things they shouldn't," I said, using my drink to hide the small smirk I shared with Wufei. It wasn't entirely a lie, in my experience. Every time my slaves had felt I wasn't giving them enough attention, they'd gone and done something… rather silly. Just because the action generally hurt them more than it did me, that didn't make the point any less valid.

"So what would you say is most important when training a slave?"

"Patience and unwavering dedication," I replied evenly. "No matter what they do, you cannot give up on them. If they see that there's the possibility that you'll cave, you won't get anywhere with them."

"I totally agree!" Vincent added. "I had a slave once that I just couldn't manage to get to cooperate, so I sent him back to the auction block. The entire batch he had been with suddenly became rebellious, and I had to scrap the whole lot of them. Cost me a pretty penny, let me tell you. I'd been hoping to at least turn a profit with them, and I ended up in the hole more than I'd paid for them!"

"What are your slaves pricing now?" enquired a blonde haired master opposite me, whose name had something to do with food.

"Four to five for an unskilled, seven to nine for one trained to compete. Of course, the four I'm competing this year are easily worth fifteen, but I haven't decided whether I'll be selling them or not," Vincent replied. I didn't even bother to wonder how many zeros were attached to those figures. I'd probably become ill.

"Do you plan to sell any of your slaves?" Mistress Devine wondered. Devine was a rather overly buxom woman with long blonde hair and, despite the stereotype, rather intelligent eyes.

"I can't fathom it," I replied honestly. "I've only got the five I'm completing as it is."

"Oh dear," she replied, seemingly confused. "How ever do you see to your… needs if they're all training?" At this, I laughed out loud.

"Have no fear, milady. My boys are more than willing to provide me with certain… services. Actually, I find they behave better when they have all their… baser needs satisfied," I replied, again not quite lying. My boys did generally have a meltdown if I withheld sex, although it was generally in the confidence area.

"Still, you can't possibly continue with just competition slaves. At the very least, you'll need slaves to help with the maintenance of your other slaves. Besides, a good slave is better than a servant any day. How about this then, if you win this hand, I'll give you two of my slaves. If you lose, I get to dance with your Dragon tonight," he said, and then continued before I could protest. "Now, I've got a flush. And you?" he asked excitedly. I glanced at my hand and sighed.

Royal flush.

The rest of the game passed quickly, despite my anxiousness about taking on two new, unknown slaves. I won several hands, threw a couple just to be fair, and managed to leave the table with a sizeable sum more than I'd come with.

As I walked quietly back to the room, Wufei trailing silently a step behind me, I couldn't help but muse over the day's events. This party… didn't seem to be going nearly as badly as I had anticipated. Actually, other than the constant slavery and talk of human cattle, I was slightly enjoying myself. Lightening the pockets of several slave owners hadn't hurt my feelings on that point. And the sea was beautiful, if nothing else. I wondered if I'd get a chance to take the boys into the ocean.

When we entered the room, I instantly knew something was wrong. Had there been a rolling fog, I couldn't have been more clued in to the fact that something unnatural was happening. The strangest part was that the entire scene looked completely normal, despite my certainty that something was out of place. Maybe Quatre was rubbing off on me, or perhaps it was a completely misplaced maternal instinct, or maybe it was just intuition in general, but I knew without a doubt that something was entirely off.

I didn't want to alarm the boys, though, so I let them continue dressing in the night's costumes without interrupting. Unlike the almost-togas they'd been wearing earlier, there was to be a ball tonight, so the boys were dressing in loose white shirts with ruffled sleeves and low necks, along with tight, black dress pants. They looked like high-class poets or ballet dancers. I couldn't fault their looks, even if Duo had already managed to tear one of the cuffs of his shirt and was getting a hasty patch job from Quatre, but I couldn't shake the feeling that something was off.

It wasn't until we were heading out the door that I realized it was Trowa who was making my internal alarms sound like mad. But, again… it was strange. He didn't look injured or upset… Just the way he wouldn't quite meet my eyes as he walked by tipped me off.

"Could you four go on ahead a bit? I wanted to talk to Trowa about his performance," I excused quickly. The others exchanged glances – they knew something was up as well – and then headed quickly to the party.

Trowa's shoulders slumped as they left, defeated or relived, I couldn't say. As I approached, however, he tensed, so I had to assume it was defeat. God, I was getting so tired of all the drama with my boys. I loved them dearly, but was it too much to ask for them to be stable for a week?

"I want to know what's wrong," I said firmly, knowing the others couldn't enter dinner without us and that we only had a few minutes alone. "I can tell you're upset about something, and I'd like to know what it is."

"It's nothing, Master. I'm just upset about losing to Key, that's all," he replied calmly. I looked him over, hoping it was as simple as that, but I was almost certain it was something deeper. Still, without proof it really seemed like I was just being paranoid.

I almost let him go. I almost said, "Your performance was fine, don't worry so much," and let him head off to join the others. I wanted to believe that this, unlike everything else so far, could simply be solved by a pat on the shoulder.

But when I looked him over for the last time, I noticed a bruise peaking out from the collar of his open shirt, hastily covered in make-up that did not quite match his skin tone. I quickly pushed the collar aside, ignoring Trowa's startled gasp, and found a large, hand-shaped bruise on his shoulder, as if someone had grabbed his shoulder from behind and pressed too hard.

Was he upset because he'd gotten in a fight with another slave? Or had he fought with one of the other boys? But none of the other boys seemed upset, so that couldn't be it. But I'd only left them alone for an hour! How had he managed to get into a fight so quickly? And how would he get marks like that in a fight anyway? What was it that had made him so edgy about it? I mean, it certainly wasn't the first time he'd gotten into a fight with competing slaves. So… what…?

"Trowa, where did you get this bruise?" I asked quickly as Trowa tugged his shirt back to cover the bruise.

"It's nothing," he replied, hunching his shoulders defensively.

"But who…" I started to ask, and such a look of panic came into his eyes that I knew there was no way we could get through this and get to dinner on time. So, with a resigned sigh, I let him go to catch up with the others, following after a moment to calm myself.

But the puzzle wouldn't leave my mind.

All through dinner, I could think of nothing other than to wonder how Trowa had managed to get that bruise, and why he was so terrified of me finding it. There was a piece to the puzzle I was missing, and my mind worried at the hole as though I could fill in the blank if I just thought hard enough. But, somehow, nothing would come to me that could provoke such a reaction from Trowa. And so, I sat through dinner, barely noticing the exquisite cuisine prepared by one of Vincent's slaves, nor the lovely music played by another. And, when the time came to retire to the ballroom for a dance, Wufei had to prod me from my seat; I was so lost in my thoughts and my concern for Trowa.

Duo got as excited about the dance as he did for everything, and so was out on the dance floor almost before the permission was out of my mouth. I had a momentary chill of fear as I thought of him careening around the dance floor and knocking into other dancers, causing massive destruction and high casualties, before I saw Heero take his hand and gently but firmly take the lead. I let the fear subside, as I knew Heero was a very capable dancer, and Duo seemed happy enough to follow Heero's lead.

Quatre turned to me next, looking enviously at Heero and Duo first.

"Can I dance too?" he asked innocently, turning his big blue eyes on me pleadingly. I glanced at Trowa, who still wouldn't meet my eyes, and quickly decided that I didn't want to be separated from him.

"Wufei," I said, taking Quatre's hand and giving it to Wufei, "take Quatre to dance."

"But… what about…?" Quatre wondered, confused and upset.

"Trowa will keep me company," I said, moving into one of the lavish chairs set up along the wall so that those who were not dancing could watch. Slightly in a corner and a bit away from the buffet table that had been set up with all manner of meats, cheeses, and fruits, my location would be out of the way and mostly unnoticeable. I would have been much happier on the dance floor, of course, with Wufei or one of the others in my arms, but my instinct was telling me too strongly to ignore that something was dreadfully wrong with Trowa. So I pulled him with me as I retired to my chair, keeping a watchful eye on the dancing pairs even as I tried to read Trowa's expressionless face and overly normal body language. Sitting as he was on the floor, it was difficult to see more than his shoulder and half his face, and he turned even those from me when he saw me staring too closely. I had to hand it to the boy; he was very good at keeping his secrets.

"I will find out sooner or later," I told him after we had sat in silence through several dances. I saw his shoulders tense, but nothing more. "You know, there's a saying that goes, 'The sooner I know what you did wrong, the sooner I can forgive you.' Think about it," I told him, not quite lying. I was pretty sure someone had said that at some point. Regardless, his glanced at me, his face finally revealing his mood as he frowned, a pained look showing in his eyes.

"If I had done the worst possible thing in the world, would you still forgive me?" he asked, his voice as unfeeling as it had been when I had first met him.

"There are many things you can do to make me very angry," I told him, watching the dancers and trying not to reveal just how anxious that question had made me. "But there is nothing you can do to make me stop caring for you."

He didn't reply for a long time, and when I had finally given up on getting an answer, he laid his head on my thigh and sighed.

"Perhaps you could forgive me, but I don't know how I can ever forgive myself."

Well… that didn't bode well.

I let it go, though, knowing this was neither the time nor the place for such a discussion. It pained me, though, because my curiosity, combined with my well-warranted sense of paranoia, both needled me relentlessly to find out what was wrong. And, through it all, Trowa kept that same unfeeling, uncaring mask in place. It was all I could do not to pick him up and run back to the privacy of our room.

The last dance had finished and several masters had gone on to give… performances with their slaves, when I noticed a large commotion at the other side of the room. I glanced down to where Trowa's head rested against my knee, his eyes unfocused but still seeming pained, and decided not to go find out what was going on. The last thing I needed tonight was more drama, and seated in the corner with my slaves surrounding me, removed from the dance floor and most of the excitement, I hoped to be able to avoid it.

But I hoped in vain.

Not five minutes after the commotion had begun, there was a general surge of the crowd in my direction. I saw Vincent in the lead, his expression one of carefully constructed rage, and his singing slave being towed behind him. Somewhat alarmed, I rose to meet them. Trowa, I noted from the corner of my eye, glanced at them fearfully, then dipped his head, almost hiding behind the arm of my chair.

"What seems to be the matter?" I asked politely as Vincent approached, dragging his slave behind him.

"It seems we have a problem!" he gushed in outrage that was slightly too gleeful for me to fully believe. "One of your slaves has been cavorting with mine."

"E-excuse me?" I asked, unable to fathom what he was telling me.

"It appears," he said, unable to hide a sly smile, "that our songbirds have decided to try a different tune… together."

I glanced at Trowa, who was still on his knees beside my chair, but he would not raise his head to look at me, which was as good as admitting his guilt. I sighed internally, keeping my face a stoic mask of indifference, and knowing that there was no way this night would end well.

"What proof have you that they coupled?" I asked, praying that it was simply the word of his slave against mine. It would be far easier to let Trowa off and deal with this in private if I could claim to doubt the honesty of his slave.

"The two were caught on one of the security cameras, fucking out on the veranda."

Trowa made a choking sound and all eyes turned to him. His face, when he raised it, was carefully neutral, but his eyes were nearly mad with fury.

"Only for the kiss," he mumbled, "Only made a deal for the kiss. My god. Only the kiss. You bastard! You tricked me!" he growled, then launched himself at Key. I managed, just barely, to insert myself between them, taking Trowa firmly by the shoulders and pushing him into my chair. He was a puppet with the strings cut, then, limp and completely devoid of emotion.

"I see you are having some difficulty with your slave," Vincent said, not quite managing to keep the pleased tone from his voice. "I'll show you the recording, then, and you can decide how to proceed from there."

There was a projector somewhere in the room, and when the lights were dimmed, the image appeared on one of the large, white walls as though we were in a drive-in. Speakers were mounted to every column in the ballroom, and so I received not only a life-size reenactment on my slave being raped, but also surround sound audio of his pain.

I expected the recording to make me furious, and in some ways it did. I would gladly have hung Vincent from the ceiling by his balls and watched him scream. His slave I would have beaten into a pulp for daring to touch what was mine so irreverently, but I could not delude myself into thinking he was at fault, for I was well aware that the boy was simply another pawn in his master's scheme. No, it was Vincent who took most of the blame, and this entire place that had allowed him to commit such atrocities. I felt fury burn in my chest, and would have eagerly given in to my anger and killed him if we had been alone. It was only for the welfare of my slaves that I abstained.

But for Trowa I could find very little anger. I was dimly aware that I should have been furious; not only had he not trusted me, but he had also put me in a position that could severely compromise my standing in Collar, and he had not even given me the time to prepare for this possibility. His actions had created this problem, and now I would have to deal with it the best I could.

And yet… when I looked at Trowa, the same broken doll that I had purchased so few months ago, I could feel only pity and sadness. Whatever pain and anger I was feeling, I had no doubt that he was suffering a thousand times more. Only once did I actually feel angry at Trowa for being so easily taken in by Vincent, and that was when my gaze had fallen upon Quatre, who was so starkly white that I feared he might faint, his eyes staring nearly sightlessly at the screen, his body wracked with tiny convulsions as he tried to keep himself from crying. Wufei eventually took Quatre into his arms, pressing the smaller boy's face into his shoulder to stop the images that so upset him. Whatever betrayal Trowas actions had been to me, they had certainly been worse to Quatre.

The recording ended when Trowa, covered in semen and partially in shock, redressed and staggered out of the frame. The lights flipped on, and all those crowded around, both masters and slaves, turned their attention back to the battle of wills that was about to commence between Vincent and me.

"Now that you have witnessed the transgression, I'm sure you wish to punish your slave. As you can see, I've already taken the liberty of punishing Key," he said, gesturing to his slave, who was on the floor sobbing, casting angry, betrayed glares at his master when he wasn't looking. "I should hope you understand the gravity of this situation. Slaves must be punished quickly and accordingly, or they feel that they can repeat their crimes."

It was only then that I took the time to really look at the slave, Key. He had been whipped, that much was clear from the dark bruises on his back, but the painful part was most likely the four inch long steel needles thrust through the skin of his shoulders and back. Bleeding sluggishly, the needles were small enough not to cause real damage, but large enough to cause significant pain.

"I find using the small spikes works very well with slaves who are rebellious or disloyal," Vincent said nearly in my ear as I continue to watch his writhing slave. "They won't damage the slave's body, but they manage to leave a rather last impression, don't you think?"

And then it all fell into place.

This… event, this dance, possibly even this party itself, were all just an elaborate trap that I had walked into, and Trowa had sprung. A trap not simply to destroy my reputation, but an attempt to take out a competitor as well. Vincent wanted to get me so angry that I would beat Trowa until he was nearly useless, destroy our bond, and make him lose the edge in his competitions. But the genius of it was that, in this position, I almost couldn't win. If I took Trowa away to punish him in private, as I was want to do, the other masters would believe me to be weak, which would put all my slaves at risk of more of these plots. If I punished him in public, I would have to match or exceed what Vincent had done, which would be nearly impossible with Trowa's fear of needles. Either way, it seemed, I was going to have to do something harmful. Vincent had managed to back me into a corner.

But, if there was one thing Collar was teaching me to do, it was getting out of tight spots.

"Put him on the rack," I instructed, motioning to Heero and Wufei. "Face forward, no clothes."

Glancing at each other hesitantly for only a moment, the two moved to comply with my orders, first pulling an X-shaped rack into the middle of the room, then pulling Trowa to it, stripping him, and securing him to the structure. Trowa, for his part, was a doll in their hands, just as lifeless and twice as moveable. Quatre was nearly fit to be tied, clinging desperately to Duo and biting his lips to keep from sobbing, but I knew I couldn't possibly deal with him in this situation, so I simply had to hope Duo and the others could keep him in check.

And then I turned to Trowa, strapped to a nasty-looking wooden X frame, all the color gone from his face, his body shaking and just barely staying on the other side of shock. I could see his eyes defocusing and his mind retreating, and quickly slapped him just hard enough to gain his attention.

"This is your punishment," I told him harshly. "You are not allowed to retreat from this."

His eyes focused in on me then, but from the look he gave me you would think I'd given an execution order. Trowa was so painfully shy that the feeling of all these eyes on him, accusing him, must have been overwhelmingly terrifying. I would have felt for him, if he had not had such a hand in putting me in this position.

Because if there was one thing about Trowa's involvement in all this that did sting, it was the fact that he didn't trust me. The fact that, despite all my care and all the time I'd spent with him, the lessons of Collar had still not been wiped out both depressed and infuriated me. Honestly, how much more could I do?

But I couldn't let myself feel hurt right now. I couldn't allow anger, or rage, or even pity to rule my mind. I couldn't allow myself to feel anything as I went to the buffet, picked up a bowl of sweet dipping cream, and threw it all over Trowa.

The room, which only a second before had been abuzz with the voices of agitated masters, was now deathly silent. Trowa appeared to have almost stopped breathing, the mess of white, sticky cream that now ran from his cheek down his belly and across his groin capturing all his attention. He was so shocked, now, that he actually cast a fearful glance in my direction.

"Don't look to me for help now," I chided loudly, taking the attention of the room. "You should have thought of that long before now, while you were letting that whore fuck you. No, this mess is entirely yours, Emerald, and I will not clean it for you."

Trowa flinched as though I'd struck him, turning his eyes to stare at the floor. I approached him, and he flinched as I moved my hand to raise his chin.

"Do you fear pain, Emerald?" I asked. "Is that why you concealed this from me? Then fear not, my pet, for I will not strike you," I said, causing a murmur to run through the masters. "I will not have to," I boasted, knowing it was necessary. "For whatever hold this slave has cast on you, I know that mine is a thousand times stronger and more resilient. By the time we are finished you will have not only confessed to me why you have sinned, but beg me for forgiveness."

"He tricked me," Trowa pleaded, some of the life returning to his eyes.

"You allowed yourself to be tricked," I corrected, and I saw that Trowa wanted to reply but dared not. "Ah, if you were merely tricked, tell me why you have yet to confess to me what has happened."

"I…" he began, but couldn't finish.

"Yes?" I asked, knowing that forcing this confession would be a harsh, but necessary punishment for Trowa.

"I had sex," he said simply,

"No. You let some stranger fuck you like a whore."

Trowa look incensed, tears pooling in those emerald eyes and making them shimmer like gems.

"Am I wrong? Was this a love match? A midnight rendezvous, perhaps?"

Trowa said nothing, simply staring piteously at me.

"Then tell me, what else would prompt you to seek elsewhere for your physical satisfaction? Tell me, do I disgust you? Do your fellow slaves repulse you? Are they that hideous?"

"No!" Trowa shouted, jerking against his restraints, two tears falling from his eyes, only to be flung aside in his maddened struggles. I waited until he sagged against the restraints, two more tears following the others.

"What else would make you allow another to fuck you like a common hole? What else would make you betray your master and bend over for little better than filth? Tell me what it is, Emerald!"

"I… I c-can't…"

"Tell me!"

"I'm not good enough for you!" he shouted, tears streaming in rivers down his face as he pulled desperately against his bonds once again. "Can't you see that? I'm not worth this! I'm not worthy of you! You c-can't ask th-this of me! I'm n-not enough!"

"How dare you?" I growled, my calm voice carrying just as much power as his screams. "How dare you presume to know what is or is not enough for me? Let me enlighten you, then. If you were not strong enough, I would make you stronger. If you were not lovely enough, I would make you lovelier. And if you were not good enough, I would make you better. The fact that you are here at all speaks volumes for how far I have brought you. But let me say it plainly, in case you have difficulty understanding," I said, turning to gaze directly into his eyes. "You are good enough, and any thoughts otherwise are an insult to me."

He was crying in earnest now, none of the confusion or fear of before clouding his broken sobs. These were the sobs of the guilty before the jury, of the child before the parent, and of the sinner before god. There was no denial in his cries, no attempt to hide his shame- only a feeble and hopeless plea for mercy.

Had we been alone, I would have granted the plea. I would have taken him to a dark corner and helped him lick the wounds on his soul. Had we been alone, though, I doubt I would have been forced to get him so upset that he would reveal the feelings of inadequacy that he had so cleverly hidden from us all. So perhaps it was best we were not alone… but I ached to pull him into my arms.

Instead, I turned my back on him.

"So, what can be done now, Emerald? I can't take you like that, covered in the filth of your deed. You have been defiled, and I cannot place you with the others with the evidence of your disloyalty still visible. I cannot clean this from you, so look elsewhere for salvation," I said, and prayed that my message was clear.

It was Duo who moved first, a slight surprise although Quatre still seemed too shell-shocked to move. I had thought it would be Wufei who realized my meaning first, but perhaps it was simply Duo's protective nature that prompted his attentiveness.

Duo moved gracefully as he approached, a contrast to the wracking, heaving sobs Trowa's body was engaging in. Deftly, Duo raised himself to his toes next to Trowa's ear. I heard him whisper, so faint that I knew no other masters would be privy to the information, "I get it. I know how it feels to think that this shit is all you're worth, all you're good for. But it's not true, alright? And if you ever forget that, you gotta come to us, 'cause we'll remind ya." Then Duo turned and began licking the cream from Trowa's face.

Heero was only a moment behind Duo, moving quickly in beside Duo to lick the cream from Trowa's chest. I saw for just an instant that Heero reached out and laced his fingers with Trowa's, giving a tight squeeze of encouragement, before returning to his task. It was a small sign of affection, probably unnoticed by the other masters, but Trowa's eyes slipped closed and he took a shuddering breath.

Wufei stepped up next, walking slowly and deliberately until he was face to face with Trowa. They stared into each others' eyes; Wufei's indifferent while Trowa's were pleading and still streaming tears that he seemed barely aware of. Finally, Wufei moved in and whispered into his ear, "You are too strong and noble to be so easily swayed. We will forgive you this time, but do us no more dishonor. The only ones to receive pain when you are dishonest are the ones you love and yourself." Then Wufei quickly licked a smear of sweet cream from the bridge of Trowa's nose, then knelt and began licking Trowa's left thigh clean as Heero licked the right and Duo worked on his belly.

The last to move was Quatre, who seemed frozen in his spot, staring in terror and betrayal at his naked and filthy lover. For several minutes I did not believe he would forgive Trowa. It took so long for him to move that I had actually begun thinking of options to finish this scene without Quatre, so that I was shocked when he finally took one shaky, uncertain step forward, and then ran for his lover. Quatre stopped only inches before Trowa, matching tears cascading down their faces, and they simply stared at each other. The guilt ate away at Trowa, that much was clear, but there were so many emotions dancing through Quatre's eyes that it was impossible to tell exactly what he was feeling. Safe to say pain was a prominent emotion, betrayal and anger, but also guilt and anguish on another level. Still, after only a moment he leaned forward and made a show of licking the cream of around Trowa's lips, eventually meeting his mouth in a deep, anguished kiss.

It didn't take the four of them long to have Trowa clean. A significant amount of the cream had been spilled across his groin, and in the last moments Trowa had been sobbing for another reason, his slim length standing at full attention. The slaves then cast their gazes to me, and with a nod to Wufei I instructed them to take him down.

"Make him ours again," I instructed, overseeing the proceedings but not approaching. "Drive all thoughts of the outsider from his body. Take him, mark him, and make him ready for me."

-Removed for content-

"I take care of what is mine, Emerald," I told him once I had caught my breath and could speak loudly enough fro all the other masters to hear. "I don't know how you forgot that, but I know that you will never forget it again."

Trowa nodded, although barely lucid, and I helped him to stand on shaky legs, beckoning for Duo and instructing him and Heero to take Trowa to wash up and then return to the party. They scurried off quickly, nearly dragging Trowa with them.

Around me, the other masters all seemed to be talking at once, but the general tone of the room was of pleased amazement, so I had to assume that my little performance had gone over well. Several masters commented, but it wasn't until Vincent approached me and said with significantly less mirth in his eyes, "Well, I can see why your slaves would have such loyalty to you. You certainly have a good hold over them," that I breathed a sigh of relieve. After that, Vincent stormed off him a huff, obviously pissed at failing to thwart me, and I settled back to enjoy the rest of the night's entertainment, hoping I wouldn't be a part of it again.

Trowa returned in a few minutes and sat in between my legs on the floor, clinging to my knees. He refused to budge from there for the rest of the night, including when I offered to let him dance with Quatre. I couldn't pay him too much mind, since he was still supposed to be in my disfavor, but I saw with some satisfaction that the other masters had taken note that my treatment of my slave had caused him to cling to me, while Vincent's slave spent most of the night casting angry looks at his master.

We didn't stay around too long after that. I would have left hours before we did, but then, if it had been up to me, we'd have never gone in the first place. Regardless, I was anxious to get Trowa into private and make sure he was holding up well with all he'd gone through. I knew, however, that a hasty retreat would be seen as a sign of weakness, so we waited until about half the crowd had left before I allowed myself to gather my slaves and begin my exit.

"Taking off so soon?" Vincent asked as I led my slaves to the exit. Trowa was barely an inch behind me, trailing at my heels, and bumped into me when I stopped.

"I seem to have tired them out," I said, wrapping an arm around Trowa, who leaned into the embrace and hid his face in my shoulder.

"Will I be seeing you tomorrow?" he asked.

"For breakfast," I stipulated, knowing that I would have to attend at least that. "Then we'll be going. We're leaving to meet with Master Darus after that. I've been told it's somewhat difficult to reach."

"The private island of the mad doctor. Yes, I've heard of him. His slaves are well renowned for their physical strength and skill," he informed me, as though I didn't already know.

"Indeed," I replied quickly. "But I really must be getting my slaves to bed," I hedged. I knew Trowa was exhausted, and the night had put a strain on me as well. But I really just wanted to get away from all these threats and back to some place I could protect them. I'd had about all I could take of watching my slaves injure themselves.

"I'll see you at breakfast then, shall I?" he asked. "Perhaps your slave will pleasure us with another song?" he asked, and from the intensity of his eyes I knew it for the challenge it was. If he thought his actions had managed to damage Trowa, he was far from right, and Trowa's shoulders stiffened in response.

"I could sing 'Under the Roses' if it would please you, master," he offered softly, but his eyes were hard with determination. I suppressed a sigh of relief.

"Tomorrow, then," I said to a very put-out looking Vincent, and whisked my slaves away.

But it was not so simple as that, and to think otherwise would have been a delusion. I knew the problems that had been unmasked tonight would take time and patience to heal, but I at least had hope now that it could be done.

When we arrived at the room, I instructed Wufei to play a movie for the others, and then led Trowa to the bedroom. I saw Quatre staring fearfully at me just once as I led his lover away, but faced no opposition as I isolated our acrobat and firmly shut the door on the others.

In the room, Trowa seemed more lost than he had been all night. He seated himself on the bed, pulling his legs up to his chest and resting his chin on knees, his eyes blank and hopeless. Still he would not reach for me, would not call for help, would not ask for forgiveness. And I realized with a startling certainty that he never would. I sighed softly and placed my hand on his cheek, turning him to look at me.

"You're my middle child, aren't you Trowa?" I wondered softly, gently running my thumb across his cheek. "So quiet, so self sufficient, that I hardly even notice you're there. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make feel that you were less than the others, love."

He shook his head, but leaned his cheek into my palm.

"I'm sorry," he whispered. "I try so hard, but I never seem to do anything right. I had hoped that I could at least keep from embarrassing you, and then I do nothing but cause trouble. I don't deserve to have your affection."

"Did nothing I said get through to you?" I wondered, feeling the least bit of frustration. "Listen, then. You are worth more than the effort I have given to you. You deserve far more than this. If there is nothing good you can accept about yourself, then at least accept that you have value because others value you. Because I value you. And because it hurts me to see you hurt."

For a moment I thought he would rebut even those words, but eventually he closed his eyes and nodded once, taking in my words with the utmost pain.

"Now," I continued, "we must discuss your attempt to hide this from me." He looked frightened at that, and this time I did sigh in exasperation. "You've already served your punishment. Don't give me looks like I'm going to hit you. However, you cannot do anything like this ever again. Do you understand? Your unwillingness to trust me put me in a terribly awkward position, and could have severely injured you or even one of the others. Never again, Trowa, do you understand?"

"Yes, master," he said, his voice thick and tight with emotion. "I'm sorry."

"You're forgiven," I told him, then pulled him to his feet. "Now, go talk to your lover. He's angry and worried."

"He won't want to talk to me."

"No, probably not, but you'll have to make him. You made choices that hurt him, Trowa. Now you'll just have to face up to that and win him back. Come, I know the others are worried."

We went then, with only a little resistance from Trowa, and joined the others in the living room. Trowa sat beside Quatre, but Quatre would not even glance at him after a sweeping look to make sure he was alright. Trowa seemed uncertain of what to do, but I knew that any meddling from me would only make things worse, so I let them go. Wufei even dragged me to bed early when he saw my need to have them getting along get to uncontrollable proportions. I was glad, because I was very close to interfering when I had promised myself that I wouldn't.

But sleep wouldn't come easily to me, and I sat up for at least an hour, holding Wufei in my arms and listening to his soft breathing. On most nights, holding the fiery little dragon in my arms calmed me, but my upset from the near-disaster was so great that I couldn't be soothed even by that. My mind kept wondering what would have happened if I hadn't been able to come up with something, if the other masters hadn't accepted it, if one of the other boys had gotten into trouble instead of Trowa. It ate at me, and eventually I had to flee the bed just to try to leave my thoughts behind.

My intention was to head to the kitchen and retrieve a nightcap, perhaps brandy or a strong Scotch. However, my path led me past the both the rooms that my other slaves were sleeping in, and I had to stop when I found Trowa curled up, sound asleep against the door to the room he shared with Quatre. I sighed so loudly that Trowa's eyes fluttered open and he glanced guiltily at me.

"Master, I…"

"Follow me," I ordered brusquely, continuing to the kitchen and knowing he would follow me. Once there, I poured two glasses of brandy and handed one off to Trowa. I didn't often encourage drinking in my slaves, but I was known to share the occasional shot of whiskey with Duo or glass of Bourbon with Wufei. Even Quatre liked an occasional Martini, and it seemed that Heero alone had no real taste for alcohol. I knew Trowa had a taste for Brandy, and if either of us was going to get any sleep that night we'd need something to calm us down. Once we finished, I places the glasses in the sink and beckoned for him to follow me again.

"Quatre's still angry, huh?" I asked as we passed his room again. Trowa nodded.

"I don't deserve him."

"I'm not sure Quatre would agree," I replied, wondering if I had imagined the sound of movement behind Quatre's door as I opened my own, "but you did hurt him very badly." I entered the room, then, only to find that Trowa would not follow me any further. "What's wrong?" I asked, but Trowa only shook his head. "Come to bed, then."

"I can't. I… I should wait for Quatre."

"Quatre may not forgive you tonight, Trowa. He's smarting from what you did, and he has a right to be. But I need you in top form tomorrow, which means you have to get some sleep. You're punishment from me has been completed, so I'm not going to allow you to sleep in an uncomfortable position. So, get in that bed, or I'll throw you in that bed," I threatened quietly, only half teasing. Reluctantly, Trowa nodded and climbed in the bed on the opposite side of Wufei, allowing me to climb into the middle. I sighed as I settled down, pulling Wufei into my arms and feeling Trowa at my back. The uncomfortable feeling that something was wrong faded from my mind, partially because I had set Trowa right and partially as an effect of the brandy, and I slipped quickly into sleep.

By morning, Quatre had joined us in the bed. He was curled on the other side of Trowa, facing the taller boy, with only a few inches between them. Trowa's hand was splayed out on the bed, like he was reaching for Quatre, whereas Quatre's hands were folded under his chin, like he was guarding himself. Were their emotions so strong that they'd mirrored them in their sleep?

I realized quickly that Wufei was gone, probably already doing his morning exercises. I stared at my two struggling slaves, wondering what I could do to help. I already knew the answer, though. The only, and the best, thing I could do to help, would be to do nothing at all. Any expression of will by me would be instantly interpreted as an order and followed just as quickly. More than that, though, I knew that this was simply something the two of them would have to work out on their own. Overcoming this would be a healthy step in their relationship, and if this was something that they couldn't reconcile then it would be better to break apart now than draw it out. I hoped that they could reconcile, but I didn't dare express that hope.

It wasn't until I saw Quatre starting to stir that I realized how important it was that I not be there when the two awoke. This, I knew, was the place where they would decide each other's fate, and having me there would destroy the entire process. So, even as Trowa sighed in his sleep and began to move along with Quatre, I forced myself to turn away.

"Don't interfere," I whispered to myself as I got up and padded quickly for the door. "Don't interfere. Don't interfere. Don't interfere." I managed to make it through the door and was just about to close it, but the sound of Quatre's voice made me hesitate, and I stopped with the door cracked ever the slightest open.

"It wasn't fair," he said softly to Trowa, unaware of my presence. "You were the one who misbehaved, and I got stuck sleeping alone."

"I'm sorry. You should have told me. I would have left."

"I don't want to punish you," he said softly, and I moved so that I could see his eyes diverted from Trowa's. They were both sitting up now, with Quatre on his knees facing his partner and Trowa still in the same defensive position, holding his knees to his chest. "I'm not your master, I'm just your lover. But you hurt me so much…"

"I'm sorry," Trowa whispered harshly, holding on to his knees like they would protect him. "If I had known how much it would hurt me I never would have…"

"Hurt me? Trowa, what about hurting you?"

"I'm alright…"

"Now, but what about before? How alone must you have felt to think that there was no one else you could come to for help, not even your lover? How little attention must I have paid you for you to think that you were so worthless?" Quatre asked. He was crying now, and clutching his chest as though his heart physically hurt for his lover. "If this were just about a mistake or an infidelity and you were this remorseful, I could easily forgive you. I'm not mad at you anymore, Trowa, but I'm so angry at myself!"

"Quatre, this wasn't your fault at all!" Trowa said, seeming genuinely upset at the thought.

"Isn't it? Whose fault is it then? Who else should have known how worthless you were feeling? Who else should have seen how badly your confidence was hurting? And the sick thing is… the thing that damns me the most… is that everyone else saw it! Heero even told me- He told me!- to talk to you about being so down. And I just brushed him off! 'Nothing's wrong with Trowa,' I told myself, 'Trowa's always so strong for me. There can't be anything wrong with him.' And so the one time you needed me to be strong, to do the same thing you do for me all the time, I totally let you down! I…" and there Quatre's voice broke, his sobbing becoming to harsh for talking. Trowa could no longer resist, and pulled the smaller boy to his chest. Quatre grasped onto him, as though he would be pulled away. Trowa waited until the sobbing subsided to continue.

"That's not true. Please, Quatre, you've always been my light. I couldn't live without you. And even after all the times I failed…"

"Never," Quatre replied harshly. "You never failed me. I won't hear you say it. You would have sacrificed everything for me, and you gave me everything you could."

"Quatre…"

"No!" Quatre demanded in a tone of voice I had never heard him take with Trowa. "Half this problem is because I let these things go. All the little put downs, all the lessening of your achievements. I'd always thought you were being modest, but apparently it's simply you putting yourself down and I won't let anyone do that, not even you. So listen to me now: You are talented, beautiful, and brave. You are the single most amazing person I have ever met in my life. And I'm going to tell you this every day for the rest of my life, until you actually believe it."

"I don't deserve you," Trowa replied, turning his head away. I saw Quatre reach up and place a hand on his cheek, turning him back.

"You do. And I'm going to make you believe that."

And then they kissed, clinging to one another like two halves that had once again become a whole.

"Had your fill yet?" a whisper said from behind me. I jumped, then rounded to find Wufei standing behind me, smirking.

"How long have you been there?"

"Long enough. I hadn't known you had known you were such a voyeur."

"I… It… They… That's totally not it!"

"Of course not," he said, still smirking as he reached past me and firmly closed the door. "Now that you know those two are alright, don't you think you have another slave who needs some attention for his problems?" he asked. His question stopped me, and I almost panicked, wondered what Heero and Duo were doing. Had I been so wrapped up in Trowa and Quatre that I'd missed something they needed? As I thought about it, Wufei turned and began to walk away from me.

"When you figure out who I'm talking about, I'll be in the bath. And my… problem… will still be waiting for you."

"…Oh."


	166. Chapter 166

Wufei 177

I stayed close to Zechs the next day, trying to distract him and keep his spirits up. The other might not have seen it, but I could tell that Trowa's setback had really damped Zechs' spirits. It was his unending optimism and belief that was truly a help to the other slaves, but even Zechs couldn't keep his morale high in the face of such setbacks. So I took it upon myself to keep him busy and entertained, and not to give him a spare moment to worry that he might have failed us. It was a ridiculous notion anyway, but one I knew would prey on his mind for the next several days.

We bathed together that morning, among other things, and breakfasted with Master Vincent in the main dining hall. Trowa gave a commanding singing performance, significantly better than the one the night before, and showed a renewed confidence and strength that made the worry lines on Zechs' face fade ever so slightly.

After breakfast, Zechs and I went to retrieve his two newest slaves. Zechs had earlier arranged for them to be taken to the house instead of accompanying us on the trip, so we merely had to escort them from Vincent's harem to the limo that would deliver them to the house. Zechs had been certain to stock the house with fresh food in case of just such an occurrence, so the two would just have to occupy themselves until we returned.

I didn't expect much from the slaves, seeing as Vincent was willing to part with them so easily. So I wasn't terribly surprised when Vincent approached with the pair. One, a tall man with a willowy build and a good bit of grace, was far too old to be considered a strong Collar slave. His face still held an aristocratic beauty, the fair skin and high cheekbones revealing little of his age, but his shoulder-length hair, which still showed signs of being light blonde, was streaked with white, and I guess that he was in his mid to late forties.

The second slave was much younger, probably about the same age as the rest of us. He was fairly pretty, being small and slim with reddish hair and pretty green eyes, but he had a thin, white scar running from just blow his right eye nearly to his chin. A scar like that in such a prominent place would almost entirely eliminate his value, despite the fact that he was still rather pretty.

The two wore simple, white clothes as they approached us, and I could tell from the way the larger one herded and shepherded the younger that he had served more as a servant than a bed slave. The smaller one, on the other hand, kept his head down as he fidgeted with his hands, a sure sign that he had served as a low-level bed slave before, and was well aware of his scar.

Vincent motioned for the two to go and they both moved forward and knelt in front of Zechs, placing their heads on the ground. Zechs frowned for a moment and I wondered if he'd ever received slaves in such a formal manner before, but after only a moment he seemed to pick up on what was happening and asked the two to rise and approach.

The two came forward slowly; the younger one more hesitant, while the older one seemed more accepting of his fate. Perhaps this purchase had saved him from an almost certain death. Zechs, meanwhile, stepped forward to look them over, causing the younger one to flinch as Zechs tilted his chin to look at his scar. Zechs smiled at him, though, and it was the kind of smile that was so unthreatening and warm that it could make anyone relax and smile back, as the boy did. I couldn't blame him; I'd been on the receiving end of that smile a few times, and it was just as disarming as it was unexpected from so intimidating a figure. And, while Zechs didn't smile at the older slave as he did the younger, and I could tell by the way they looked at each other that they had come to some sort of silent agreement, and I saw the older slave relax as well.

"Not really the cream of the crop, I'll admit," Vincent said as he sauntered up, "but both perfectly serviceable. It's a shame about Waif. He was fairly pretty before his… accident."

"On the contrary," Zechs said, never taking his eyes off of the smaller boy. "I like a slave with… character. I'd never have managed to handle Shinigami if I didn't like more… interesting slaves."

"Ah… of course," Vincent hedged, uncertain whether to be insulted or not. Considering the insult he was giving Zechs by handing him castoff slaves, however, he decided against it. "The other slave, Demos, has served me faithfully for… well, for long enough, I suppose. I'm sure he will be of great use to you."

"Delightful," Zechs replied, laying a hand on Demos' shoulder. "Experienced slaves seem hard to come by in this competition. I was hoping I could find something other than youngsters. Not," he said, giving a playful wink to Waif, "that youth doesn't have its advantages, but I've found that prior experience can be a great benefit as well."

It was, of course, the kind of tactical maneuvering, so subtle and genuine, that Zechs had made a name for himself with. Vincent was backed into a corner now by his own movements. He couldn't very well get angry with Zechs for being pleased with the slaves, and yet it was obviously that not upsetting Master Zechs with this obvious disrespect made his blood boil. It was like a well-played game of chess, and like the sore loser he was, Vincent groused and stormed away.

But Zechs was too occupied to notice, because as much as his movements were political in nature, I could also tell that he was genuinely pleased with his new acquisitions. He was currently asking Waif about his age and previous employments.

"I'm only 18, sir, and I've been trained to do al sorts of house duties and chores as well as… as well as being a…"

"Companion?" Zechs asked gently, his eyes conveying that he understood what Waif had done. Waif nodded gratefully and blushed. I had to wonder how old he'd been when he'd been captured, for him to still be so timid about the subject of sex. Or perhaps Vincent was simply as unskilled of a trainer as he was a master.

"And you?" Zechs asked Demos.

"I am nearly 40 years of age, Master, as you can find in my records. I have served this household and two others and was occupied with cleaning the house, overseeing day-to-day operations, caring for and training slaves, and as a… companion, in my earlier years, Master."

"Excellent," Zechs said without a moment's hesitation. "I am in great need of someone to care for my house and help watch over my slaves. They have a terrible habit of overworking themselves when I'm not watching, and I don't need my slaves exhausted before Collar. As a trial run, I'm going to send you to my residence, placing Waif in your care. I want you to look after him and the house until I and the other slaves return. If you do a satisfactory job of caring for the boy, we will give you a trial period as my steward."

"Master," I prompted, "we'll be late if we don't hurry."

My eyes met with Demos' then, and a silent agreement passed between myself and the older man. I had no problems with him being placed in charge of the household, and to some extent even the other slaves. A good steward would help Zechs immensely, and I was far too busy with teaching and my own training to take on such a thorough and difficult job. However, Zechs had placed his trust in me, and I had no intention of giving it up. The care and well-being of the household could be placed in Demos' hands, but the care and well-being of the Master would still remain in mine. Demos cast his eyes down after a moment, and I knew he understood our arrangement.

"Ah. Well, then, I'm going to send you over there," Zechs said, directing Waif and Demos toward the awaiting plane. Zechs saw the two settled into their seats and the capable hands of his pilot, who would take them from the airport all the way to the house and see them settled in. From there, we quickly jumped into our own jet, for a quick flight to a local train station.

The island of Dr. Darus, as we had been informed in the invitation, could only be reached by train. It was puzzling how a train could reach an island, let alone be the only thing that could reach and island, and Zechs and I spent the first part of the trip debating whether an underground tunnel or a long, narrow bridge would reach the island. Quatre and Trowa, who seemed to be doing considerably better since this morning's talk, were playing chess, while Duo had managed to convince Heero to play poker. They seemed, amazingly enough, fairly evenly matched, considering Heero's stoic abilities and Duo's mastery of diversion.

The island of Dr. Darus, which I had never personally seen, was no so much an island as a fortress, it turned out. Hidden in a small inlet cove surrounded by high, sheer cliffs, the island had less than 200 feet of water surrounding it on any given side, and looked more than anything like a castle surrounded by a large moat. The only place that did open into the ocean was a small opening where the cliffs surrounding it stopped and the ocean water could flow in. The building itself looked ancient, made of large, gray stones that had a very gothic appeal. If an imitation, it was an exemplary replica of ancient European architecture. If an original, it was worth a fortune.

"Hey, Zechs? Is this dude a vampire? Because… you know… I totally like my blood. All of it. Is that cool?"

"Firstly, Duo, you have to use 'Master' now, remember? I don't want you to forget at this party and make me spank you again," Zechs said, referring to an earlier slip-up before Trowa's singing event, where Duo had accidentally called Zechs by his name. To punish him, Zechs had bared his bottom, turned him over his knee, and spanked him in front of all the other Master, which honestly didn't invoke that much interest, until Duo started moaning and squirming, obviously turned on. The "punishment" only ended when Duo begged for forgiveness, and was handed off to Heero to be relieved. It was actually something of a lucky occurrence, given that Zechs had been somewhat known for his prudishness. That act, combined with his treatment of Trowa, had managed to begin removing that label.

"I remember," Duo mumbled, blushing all the way to his braid.

"Secondly, I'm sure Master Darus is not a vampire. And, even if he is, I'm sure he's not going to eat you. He'd get a toothache anyway, with all the sugar you eat," Zechs said with a wink.

"It is impressive, though," Quatre put in, staring out the window at the intimidating castle. "I haven't seen anything like this since my vacation to Ireland with my family. Is that where we are?"

"I haven't the foggiest idea," Zechs admitted. "The invitation didn't include directions, simply a note that the train would be sent. And, with the speeds we were traveling it's impossible to tell exactly where we were going. So… it's possible, I suppose."

"Who'd wanna build a house that close to the ocean with no place to fish or swim or anything?" Duo wondered.

"Look at it logically, Duo," I put in. "This is probably one of the hardest places to get to in the world. The sheer cliffs coming off the island and the high waves around it make it impenetrable from the sea. The sheer cliffs surrounding and the sharp updrafts from the wind coming into the canyon make it impossible to get there from air or land. And the only entrance is over that small length of bridge, which I'm sure could fall away with a moment's notice. It's a fortress."

"You'd have to drop a bomb from a low-flying helicopter to make any kind of impact. The detonation of any high-level explosive should be able to decimate the castle, assuming the updrafts don't knock it into the ocean," Heero said neutrally, calmly staring out the window.

Everyone stared at him for several seconds, until he noticed.

"…What?"

"Ro-man," Duo said, slinging an arm over his shoulder, "Remind me never to make you really mad, okay?"

"Likewise," I put in as the two returned to their game. Behind me, Zechs chuckled. "This amuses you?"

"No, it's just…"

"Just?"

"It's just nice seeing the family getting along so well. We've all been so busy lately… I suppose I've missed this."

"Hm," I agreed, giving him a half smile as I resumed my seat beside him. He smiled back at me, taking my hand in his and kissing my knuckles. I let my eyes slip closed, leaning my weight against Zechs' shoulder. Times like these were so rare in life at Collar, and I'd be damned if I wasn't going to savor every moment.

A few minutes later, Zechs rose to go speak with the captain about the how much longer the trip would be. I decided to meditate for a few moments, only to be disturbed by an outburst from a rather distressed Trowa.

"Ack!" I heard, the then the sound of someone slamming their hands on the table. My eyes came open and I saw that every other person on the train was also staring at Trowa, who's uncharacteristic outburst had caused everyone to freeze. "I'm not playing this anymore! I know I'm not very good, but this is ridiculous! You beat me six times already, and it would probably be more than that if you hadn't been playing around the last three times. I saw at least twice where you had a check and just didn't call it. Probably more than that. I'm playing poker; apparently I'm no match for you at this game."

"I'm sorry. I just… I haven't gotten to play chess in a long time… I really should have been easier on you, I know you're just a beginner. I'm sorry," Quatre said, looking embarrassed and worried. It didn't seem like Trowa was actually angry, just frustrated, but Quatre's reaction reminded me that the two had only recently made amends, and their relationship was still a little off. Apparantly, it reminded Trowa as well, who instantly looked sheepish and contrite.

"No, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have snapped like that, I just don't like being easy prey. It's not your fault, and I'm glad you showed me how to play."

"But he'd much rather play strip poker with us!" Duo called with his usual enthusiasm. "Come on, Trow-babe, we promise not to grope after we get you out of those skivvies!"

Trowa rose with a somewhat predatory gleam to his eyes that told me poker, at least, was something he was familiar with. Quatre began putting the pieces of the chess board away with such a disappointed look in his eyes that I rose and sat across from him.

"I hope you don't think I'll be as easy to defeat as Trowa, but there should be time for one game before we reach the castle."

"More than that," Zechs said, returning from the front as Quatre gleefully began to set up pieces. "The captain says that a bad storm is coming through, and they can't dare the bridge for another hour or so, until the wind lets up."

"I suppose the bridge is as precarious as it seems then?" I asked Quatre made the first move.

"So it appears."

"I wonder… why all the extra security? Isn't this a bit… extreme?"

"He must have something to fear, I suppose. Perhaps he's hiding from enemies."

"Masters at Collar are too rich and too proud to hide from anyone. Perhaps he's hiding his secrets from the other competitors? They say Master Darus has perfected to many surgery and medical techniques that his slaves are almost superhuman. Perhaps he's simply hiding his techniques?"

"Maybe. Or maybe he's preparing for Collar to one day be discovered."

Quatre and I chuckled.

"What's so funny about that?" Zechs wondered, looking more surprised than I had expected. I'd honestly thought he was joking.

"Come on, Master," Quatre said, "You know how old money is. Even when I was back with my family, we were under strict discipline from my father, but we knew if something really big happened we'd be able to get out of it. That's just the way it works," he said, his voice taking on a sad tone at the end.

"Collar has been around for decades, even before the current Owner took over and made it what it is today. It will never totally go away. Even the slaves know this. The only freedom we can find is in a kind master or death," I said, perhaps more harshly that I wanted to, because Zechs began looking slightly ill. "It's not so bad, really."

"Not now that we have you," Quatre added, looking adoringly at Zechs.

"I suppose… I suppose I just never thought of you all as staying in this until death. Of not having anything else to look forward to," Zechs said, his tone resigned and decisive at the same time.

"There is nothing to look forward to, because we are content with what we have," I told him seriously. "We are happy here, and ask for nothing more than to remain here as long as possible."

At this, Zechs looked troubled, but I reached up and pulled him down into a kiss, which seemed to steady him.

"Don't worry so much," I chided. "We are happy. Nowhere else could we have found happiness like this. Our only wish is to remain together, and with you."

"I understand," Zechs said, but his smile was still too reserved for my taste. "Shouldn't you be paying attention to your game?"

"Ah, but a skilled chess master is never distracted from his goal, even by the most…"

"Checkmate."

"…surprising circumstances."

"Hehe."

"…Beginner's luck."

But we both knew it wasn't.

In the next hour, we played three games of chess, and Quatre beat me easily in all but one. And I've never been quite convinced that Quatre didn't let me win that game, because he was afraid of upsetting me. I have to admit, it was a bit… humbling. I had held top scores in chess since I began competing, and now a slave who had never even competed was showing me moves? My ego took a hit, if nothing else.

But the ego boost Quatre got was far more important than any embarrassment I was suffering. Quatre, who had always had such a hard time realizing his own worth, had finally found something that he excelled at naturally more than anyone else. And I felt obligated to take it one step further.

"You should take the chess tournament at Collar."

"W-what?" Quartre asked, confused and upset. "Wufei, I didn't mean… I don't want to take that away from you."

"It's not you taking it away from me. It's me giving it to you, because you are better than I am. With a few lessons, I won't be able to beat you, and neither will anyone else."

"Wufei," Master chimed in, "aren't you being a little petty? Quatre might have won a few games over you, but he's nowhere near ready for a competition, and there are only a few weeks before Collar."

"I'm not being petty. Quatre is ready to compete now. We can squeeze practice until the last two weeks before Collar, and he'll be ready."

"That's too much pressure."

"No!" Quatre put in excitedly. "Master, if Wufei thinks he can do this… I promise, I'll work really, really hard!"

"Quatre, love," Zechs consoled, "It's not about how hard you work. I just don't think you're going to be ready in time. Wufei is already a strong player…"

"Yes, I am, but no one is going to accredit that to you," I explained calmly. "The Owner is the one who has credit for training me in chess. Do you understand what this will do to your reputation if you manage to make an untrained slave into a winner in such a serious event as chess?"

"That's not the issue here. I can't risk losing this event on a gamble like this."

"There is no risk. Somehow, he's already better than the best."

"That's different than being under the pressure of the competition. I don't want Quatre getting overwhelmed with the stress of it."

"He's not going to get overwhelmed any more than he would in any of the other competitions. If you don't think he can withstand this, then he probably couldn't withstand any of those, either. I think you're underestimating him."

"I'm not underestimating him, but there's not sense in adding stress to him if I already have a good player."

"I told you, that won't get you any reputation. It's going to look like you're mooching off of the Owner's accomplishments. Quatre is a much better choice, because he'll show how skilled you are in training your own slaves."

"I don't want to risk the win by putting in someone with less experience."

"The win isn't the most important thing in this competition. You need a good reputation so you can trade tips with the other masters. What if you don't win this year? The other masters will destroy your chances for next year if you get anywhere near the top and you don't have a strong reputation. If they don't want your training secrets, they'll just eliminate you as competition. We might not win this year, and…"

"We will win this year!" Zechs snapped, banging his fist on the table hard enough to make the chess pieces fall over. I think it was the first time I'd ever seen him truly so frustrated that he was angry. The train fell silent as all eyes went to our master.

"Master?" Quatre put in hesitantly. "I… I can't read minds, so I can't guarantee that I'll win every time, but… but I can read people really well. I know how people are going to behave, so I know how to trap them."

"So that's how you do it, you little imp," I said, smiling as some of the tension left the air. "That would give you the advantage over any other competitor, as long you can control it."

"I can! I really can! I mean, I think I can."

"Zechs? If he learns to control his power, he'll easily be better than me in this competition."

"I don't know… There really isn't any reason too…" Zechs trailed, rubbing his eyes, a sure sign that we'd given him a headache. Still, when Quatre got that disappointed, heartbroken look on his face that rarely fails to get him what he wants, Zechs caved. "We'll… see. Train him until Collar… and we'll see," Zechs said, sounding reserved, but I winked at Quatre. It seemed we'd worn him down.

Still, I had to wonder why it had taken so much to get him to change his mind? Zechs wasn't usually so stubborn, but I supposed it could just be concern for Quatre that kept him so reserved about the idea. It wasn't such a great risk, after all, and the probability of us not being able to win Collar the first year was pretty high. After all, it had never been done before.

But… there was almost a fevered look in Zechs' eyes as he snapped, and something told me that he would do almost anything to ensure we won Collar.

But why?

Heero 178

Master's outburst surprised everyone, but I think it was Wufei who had the hardest time getting over it. Throughout the rest of the ride to the castle, I saw him casting surreptitious glances at Master, like he was trying to sneak a peak inside Master's brain. But then, Wufei always did expect more from others. I wasn't surprised that Master's obsession with winning Collar bothered him, simply that he needed to think that there was something deeper there. Master wouldn't be in Collar if he didn't want to win. All his strange behavior aside, he was still a master.

As the train pulled through the fortress-like walls of the compound, Trowa and I quickly put our shirts back on (glad enough that that's all Duo had managed to get off of us) and followed Master and the others into the courtyard.

We were met by one of Darus' slaves. He was tall, muscular, with shoulder length black hair and strong, defined facial features. He did not smile at us, and his eyes were hidden by large, black sunglasses, so it was impossible to decipher his reaction to our entrance.

"My master welcomes you," the boy said, his tone as serious without being unwelcoming or aggressive. "He bids you to make yourself at home in the apartments he has provided for you, and to pleasure him with your company at dinner in one hour. He also requests that you provide the entertainment for tonight's meal."

I made certain not to glance toward Master, although I was sure several of the others probably did. Master, in general, did not like displaying his slaves for others, but I doubted he would deny a request from a potential ally. Especially not one as renowned as Dr. Darus.

"Tell your Master that I am grateful for his hospitality, and I will see what I can manage for entertainment on such short notice," master replied, in the same neutral but serious tone. Most masters would have promised amazing entertainment for the night, so I was sure that Master's response would stand out. However, if the entertainment that he provided was skilled and impressive, it would seem that he was only being modest, and perhaps play in his favor. Hopefully, Duo would volunteer us for tonight's entertainment.

The slave then led us through the halls of the castle, failing to remove his sunglasses even in the dim light. The room he showed us to was a set of two bedrooms connected to a main sitting room, which housed a huge, roaring fireplace. The ceilings were high, with stone walls and a gloom brought on by the lack of many windows, but the fireplace cast a glow around the room that made it seem more homey, and the tapestries on the walls made them look less foreboding. However, I could tell that Duo, at least, was still unnerved by the room, and he slid up to touch shoulders with me for reassurance. I noticed Quatre moving closer to Trowa as well.

As soon as the other slave left the room, however, Duo perked up.

"So… who's fuckin' for dinner?"

"Duo!"

"What?"

"That's crude," Master scolded.

"But accurate," Duo teased with a grin, bouncing over to one of the plush leather couches in the room and unceremoniously flopping onto it. "When do you think the luggage will get here?"

"It'll be here before dinner, soon enough for you all to get dressed, I'm sure. Now… back to the previous subject… Are there any volunteers?"

"Oh! Ooh! So me! Me me me! I haven't gotten any in weeks! Please?" Duo pleaded.

Deny him one goddamn time and he acts like he'll die from lack of sex.

"Duo and I will perform at dinner, Master. We have the most experience together, and Duo is the most sought-after dancer, so we are the natural choice."

Not to mention that we'd been so busy lately that we hadn't had time to have much sex, and I was feeling a little hard-up anyway.

"It's settled then. You and Duo can practice your routine and relax before dinner. I think I'm going to take a nap for a bit. Anyone else?" Master asked, and then led the others into the main bedroom. I settled on the couch beside Duo. He sat up and grinned at me.

"Like we need any fucking practice."

It didn't seem like any time at all before dinner came and found us all dressed, lined up on either side of Master at the dinner table. It wasn't normal for slave to be fed with their masters, but it wasn't unheard of, and Master Darus' slave had warned us not to eat before attending when he dropped off the luggage.

We were at a square table, with Darus seated at the head, the customary place for the hosting master, while Zechs was seated across from Master Zephyr and his slave, Sparrow. Darus' slaves circled him on cushions on the floor, each eating their own meal. The one who had welcomed us was present, still wearing those dark sunglasses along with only gray shorts, which showed off his muscular physique. I could tell that he would be one of my competitors in only a few weeks. Beside him was a boy with ginger hair, wearing shorts of the same color and a pair of long, billowing sleeves that completely concealed his arms, all in the same color gray. There was a blonde boy with long pants on, and a final boy with long, brown hair and a frail appearance wearing a button-down shirt. Not a bad-looking group of slaves, if strangely attired.

Darus himself was dressed in a thick red robe and cotton clothing beneath it. You could tell his age from the wrinkles and short, silver hair, but his eyes were clear and sharp with intelligence, and his hands were steady enough to pour wine into champagne glasses without spilling a drop.

"It seems that you've managed to amass yourself quite an array of slaves in a short time here. If I may ask, what have you found helps most in training them?"

"The same thing most masters will tell you, I suspect," Master responded seamlessly. "A good balance of discipline and reward. But, what of your slaves? I hear you've managed feats in the physical events."

"Hm," Darus replied, smiling softly. "I supposed everyone has a small hobby that they excel at. Mine just happens to be improving the physical body."

"You know, there's a difference between being modest and smug," Master Zephyr responded. "Show them off already, we all know you're dying to."

Darus rolled his eyes. "You take all the fun out of these things, do you know that? I'm supposed to wait until conversation leads us to my newest project, or until my guest inquires. It's all supposed to happen naturally, thank you."

"Well, allow me to oblige, then," Master said, falling naturally into the flow of their banter. "Would you be so kind as to detail you latest project to me? I'm terribly interested to see what you've done."

"See?" Darus said to Zyphyr, "That's just the sort of opening I was looking for. And where is Lenz?" The slave with the sunglasses rose and moved to kneel by his master's side. "Now, this can be a bit startling if you are unprepared," Darus said, then removed Lenz's sunglasses.

Lenz's eyes glimmered like steel. Instead of having human eyes, there were two metallic balls with a small, black hole for an iris. The metallic eyes swiveled and glanced around the room like normal eyes, but the lack of life or emotion in them was eerie and unsettling, and I saw even Master twitch backwards.

"It is… somewhat startling. Is his vision impaired?" Master asked, curious now that his immediate reaction had been overcome.

"Not at all. Actually, his eyes are better equipped to handle close and long-range vision, although his vision is extremely poor at night. Although I've got schematics planned to work on that particular issue," he said, laying his hand affectionately across Lenz's cheek. Lenz smiled, and then replaced his glasses and took his seat.

"That is an amazing project," Master said, and Darus laughed.

"Oh no. Lenz has had those eyes for almost two years now. No, the project I'm speaking of is an upgrade I completed last week. It's an adaptation that allows him to see distances of up to two miles. Made him a crack-shot, hasn't done anything for his ego, though," Darus said, casting a glance at Lenz that was met with a smirk.

"Are these… adjustments allowed in the Collar competitions?" Master wondered.

"Of course, or I wouldn't be so sought after. As long as 80% of the competitor is flesh, it's still allowed."

"So… why haven't I seen more of these… additions in Collar?"

"No one else can afford them," Zephyr put in. "There's probably the amount of Collar's prize in Lenz's eyes alone."

"Oh, now, now." Darus said affectionately. "You can't measure a work of art in dollars and cents."

"You mean gold bars and diamonds," Zephyr said, but it was simply banter, there was no malice in it.

"So… if it's so expensive… why do it?" Master wondered.

"Oh, I was a leading surgeon for more years than I'd like to admit," Darus replied. "I've got plenty of money. In my old age, I've just been tinkering around with my craft."

"But…" Master began, but Darus interrupted him.

"Come now, I think we've had enough talk about me. Perhaps we're ready for the entertainment?"

I could tell that Master was fascinated, but he was far from ready to deny a request from our host, so put his questions aside.

And that was the cue for Duo and I to take center stage. I was surprised to feel a shiver go up my spine, and couldn't tell if it was from nervousness or from excitement. Or perhaps both.

Contrary to common belief, we did not just get on the table and start fucking. Considering the table wasn't all that big and the masters were still eating, that would have been both rude and awkward. Instead, Master Darus had been kind enough to lay a large pallet out for us just beyond the table, although Duo and I were by no means beyond using the floor.

Someone cued some soft, upbeat music as Duo and I rose. Duo was wearing a long, dark purple button-down top with only the first few buttons done, so that it swirled behind him like a cape, showing off his perfect abs and naval before dark leather pants hid everything but the outline of his lower body. I was wearing dark blue jeans that had been tastefully tattered until most of my legs were visible, and a white silk shirt that clung to my skin and outlined every indentation of my abdominal muscles.

In his customary style, Duo practically raced to the bed, doing a front flip and giving a loud, "Yeehaw!" as he flopped onto the mattress. But that was Duo, all energy and enthusiasm. It was part of what made him so unique, and part of what made him to popular. I smiled, knowing what a show-off Duo is at heart, and then followed slowly after him, giving the masters time to appreciate how my muscles moved as I walked. I could be just as much of a showman as Duo, I just had a different style.

It had always been that way. Duo and I were a lot alike, but in different ways. We were both very competitive, but where I would study and plan and prepare to reach my goal, Duo would just throw himself at the obstacle until it gave up. And we were both very fierce lovers, but where I liked to learn my lover like a puzzle, taking apart the likes and dislikes and putting things back together to create a great orgasm, Duo like to play his lover like a game, moving down the body until he had almost reached the goal, only to shoot back up and start all over again. It was all about understanding for me, and all about having fun for Duo.

Which is why, even though we'd talked about this scene, we hadn't planned it out like some performers do. It never worked out for Duo to preplan a scene, and the few times we'd tried it he'd deviated so far from the script that I'd had trouble following, so we'd decided not to do that anymore.

So, as Duo pulled me down to the mat and pinned me under him for a fierce kiss, I felt the eyes of the masters and the other slaves on me and worried for a minute that I would mess up. I felt lost without a plan, and even Duo's weight across my thighs could not keep the chill of terror from creeping up my spine.

But Duo is a natural showman. He could tell that I was getting nervous form the way my body tensed beneath him, and as he leaned down to theatrically lick my ear, he whispered, "The more fun you have, baby, the more fun they're gonna have. Just fuck me."

It wasn't much in the way of reassurance, but it was exactly what I needed. Duo grinned, and I smirked right back at him, flipping us over so that I was on top. Duo grinned like a maniac, then leaned up and bit my neck. It was something of a warning; Duo wasn't fond of being held down, and especially not in front of an audience. Without the background of trust we had, I never would have been able to do it. It was a subtle reminder that the mental wounds from Duo's treatment had been recently closed.

But the masters didn't see that. They saw Duo nip at my neck, then run his mouth from the base of my throat to my ear, and then suck at the lobe. I moaned, thrusting my hips at Duo's groin, and then helped maneuver the robe from his shoulders. Our lips met once he was free and he arched back, brushing his taut abs against my stomach. He reached up, still kissing me, and inched my shirt up my back until we finally broke the kiss for him to pull it off.

I heard something from behind us then, but ignored it as Duo sat up and I began to rain kisses down his abdomen. I placed all my attention into lavishing Duo with affection, so that even the tensing of Duo's abdomen did not prepare me to feel a timid touch to my shoulder.

I jumped and spun around, only to find Sparrow standing behind me, looking shy and a little sheepish. Lenz was behind him, waiting patiently, his posture more than his expression revealing neutrality. Obviously, the two had been sent to join Duo and myself, which was a surprise but not unheard of. Masters would often send a well behaved slave to couple with a popular slave as a reward, or for the enjoyment of seeing the two interact. It would be an insult to our host not to let the two perform with us.

But I looked to Master anyway, because although I had no issue with coupling with either of the two, Master had never allowed us to couple with any slave outside of our group, and just recently Trowa had and the results had been devastating. I couldn't risk betraying Master by being with another slave, even if it got me in trouble in other areas.

Master didn't look pleased by the situation, his mouth a solid line of anxiety, but he nodded his consent anyway, and I had no more time to worry about him because Duo and I needed to focus on the task at hand or the performance would quickly go flat.

Duo has always been far more adaptable than I am. It took him a split second between the time Master nodded his head and the time Duo had Sparrow pinned to the floor, both of them giggling and tussling like old friends. But, then again, Duo is a top through and through, and Sparrow was possibly even more of a bottom than Quatre.

I didn't have that luxury. I do well as a top, and I feel comfortable as a bottom. So I have to rely on my partner to tell me which one would be more appropriate. Unfortunately, Lenz's demeanor and expression gave me no clues, so the best I could do was hold out my hand and hope Lenz took the invitation.

Lenz spared no time in taking my hand and pulling me into a swift embrace. Our lips met, and his were firm but gentle against my own. He was unyielding, yet gentle in the way he kissed, his tongue darting out against my lips, determinedly seeking entry and pressing my lips apart. I opened my mouth for him and let my tongue dart out to meet his. I let him lean me backwards and settle me onto the mat, understanding that he wanted to top. It made me feel a bit better, to at least have that much figured out.

I ran my hands down Lenz shoulders. He was tense, more so than I had expected even with being asked to pair with an unknown slave. I took my hands back down his arms and across his chest. He leaned me back against the mattress, rubbing his groin against mine.

But something was off. It wasn't as though I expected to have a strong connection with a slave I had so recently met, but his movements with me seemed so… robotic. He gave no reaction at all when I ran my hands across his body, and even his grinding had no passion to it. Could it be that he really didn't want to have sex with me?

But that didn't make sense either. Even though his grinding was less than passionate, I could tell from the bulge beneath his shorts that he was aroused. So what was I doing to cause such a cold reaction from him? Was it simply his nature?

I wished that I could see his eyes again. Could mechanical eyes portray feeling? Something was off about our interaction. I didn't expect him to fall in love with me, but he was portraying such an apathy that I knew I would have to do something quickly or there would be no fire in our performance. It was hard enough for me to stir the same kinds of emotions Duo did, and that was without the added difficulty of having a blatantly disinterested partner. For fuck's sake, he wouldn't even look me in the eyes!

And that was it. Even as Lenz rubbed against me, even as I kissed him, he would not look at my face.

I reached up slowly, ever mindful that what I was about to do could turn out very badly. Lenz stilled as my hands rose, jerking his face back as far as he could without standing. Then he stilled, not wanting to actually run away, I think. My hands reached the edges of his glasses and I slowly pulled them away from his face.

He would not meet my stare for a moment, then boldly looked me in the eyes. His face portrayed anger, but I could tell it was hiding fear. Did he think he was a monster? But I knew all too well how ugly one can feel when hiding imperfections. I still tried to keep my back concealed when I could, and turned it away from others when I could not hide it. If anyone could understand that kind of fear, it was me.

And I knew, too, how little it meant to be told that you were beautiful. If you did not believe it, it would not matter.

But his eyes were beautiful. Shimmering glass covered them, making it look like he was just about to cry. The irises were silver, with different shades interlocked like puzzle pieces. The pupil focused just like a camera lens, much more quickly than a human eye, but it only served to make him look that much more nervous. That much more vulnerable.

There were tiny scars at the edge of his eyes, almost like crows feet but more pronounced and a pale white color. I leaned up and kissed the scars, and remembering the reaction this treatment had brought with my own scars I wasn't surprised to feel Lens jump as I kissed him. As I kissed the other side I could feel him tense above me, but this time with emotion. As I leaned back and met his eyes again, I could see the pain and relief warring inside him. He bit his lip, and his eyes seemed just a bit brighter.

And then he kissed me, this time with none of the control he had shown earlier. This wasn't a mechanical kiss; it was a kiss of pure emotion. His lips met mine desperately and it seemed like he was trying to pull the very soul out of my body through my lips. When we broke the kiss, he immediately began to dot kisses all the way down my body, pushing my shirt up when it got in his way and only stopping as he reached my pants.

_-Edited for Content-_

When a cheer came a moment later, I was so bewildered that I actually fell off of Lenz and onto the mattress beside him. It was only then that I remembered where I was and realized, mortifyingly, that I had just done all those wanton acts in front of a crowd. Lenz and I sported matching blushes, and we both hurried to replace our clothes. Lenz cast one last glance into my face before donning his glasses once again, giving me a look that was both grateful and happy as he went to rejoin his master.

As I took my seat once again beside Master I was happy to see that he looked proud of me, but upset to see that Lenz's master looked more concerned than pleased with him.

As Sparrow and Duo began to move, I could only settle at Master's feet and hope I hadn't gotten Lenz in trouble.

179 Zechs

Duo had a wonderful performance with Sparrow, with a sensual, almost dancing rhythm to it. But nothing could compare to the intensity Heero had shared with Lenz. To say that I was proud of him was an understatement. In only minutes, Heero had reached out to another slave, one that he barely knew, and helped him overcome something that was very near Heero's own experience. It was like seeing a child graduate to an adult. Heero had gone from needing help to giving it.

But, in some ways, it saddened me, because I suddenly realized that Heero no longer needed me. It wasn't my support that he had looked for when he had been surprised by the inclusion of the other two slaves, and very soon he would not be looking for my permission either. It made me think almost nostalgically at those first few months, when Heero had needed me for everything.

Dinner passed quickly after the performances, and there were no more surprises in the banter. Still, it seemed that there was something left unsaid by Darus, and I was not surprised when he asked me to join him in his study after dinner.

"And bring Angel," he said as I was leaving to freshen up in my room. "I would be quite pleased to get to know him more. He seems to be a… most perceptive young man."

I don't know why this place had me so off balance. Maybe it was the thought of being completely trapped inside this near-fortress. Maybe it was the upcoming prospect of Collar and the end of this mission. Or perhaps it was the fact that, out of all the masters that I had met so far in Collar, these two were the first that seemed almost normal.

And I had to wonder, were these two men better than the others?

Or was I becoming more like the thing I was here to destroy?

The thought shook me, and I tried not to contemplate it as I hurriedly washed up and then allowed on of Darus' slaves to lead Heero and me into a small library overlooking the sea. Outside, the waves crashed against the sides of the rocky cliffs, and it did nothing to calm the turmoil inside me.

"Would you like a drink, master?" Heero asked from behind me. "You seem… upset," he said as I turned to him.

"No, but thank you," I replied, giving him a wan smile. Heero bit his lip and hesitated before continuing.

"Is it something I did?" he asked.

"No, you were brilliant."

"But… you don't appear to be pleased."

"No, little love, it's not that. I'm very proud of you. You did a wonderful job," I told him, and even managed a small smile.

"So why the expression?" he continued, unwavering despite my efforts, and I had to sigh at his tenacity.

"I suppose it's simply that I've begun to like the two gentlemen we are visiting, but I am uncertain of their characters. After the debacle at Vincent's, I'm afraid to let my guard down again," I said, and hoped Heero would accept that. He was quite for several minutes, his face unreadable as he too stared out at the sea. Eventually, he turned to me.

"I don't think you have anything to fear from these two masters."

"Oh?" I replied, startled by his conviction. "Why do you say that?"

"You can almost always tell the character of a master from the state of their slaves. Bad masters will have scarred and broken slaves. Masters who focus only on the competitions will have nervous, viscous slaves. And masters who are only worried about their own pleasure have greedy, ill-behaved slaves. Master Darus and Master Zephyr's slaves are none of those things, and appear to be well-taken care of. Both of these men have honor. They will not betray you while you are a guest in their home."

"But once at Collar all bets are off, hm?"

"It is war, Master. You can't really blame them," Heero said, giving me a smirk.

"I suppose not," I said, and then gestured for him to come to me. He came immediately into my embrace, and I laid my cheek on the top of his head, breathing his soft scent. It seemed so long ago that he had been a timid, undernourished boy too jaded to even hope for salvation. The boy I had first met was so far from the strong, well-adjusted man in my arms. I wondered how long it would be before he realized that, and stopped looking to me for affection. It painfully obvious that he no longer needed me for anything other than emotional support, and soon he would not need that either.

Would I be able to let him go? Could I let him go? Everything I did was to give him and the others a chance at a normal life, but I had never stopped to consider what that life might be. Now, merely weeks away from Collar and the end of my mission, an honored guest of one of the men I was trying to destroy, and all I could think about was the fact that I might never see Heero or the others again. That everything I was doing was to give them the option to leave me.

What if they did it?

"M-Master?" Heero questioned softly, and it was only then that I realized I was holding him too tightly. I released him quickly with a muttered apology and went to stand by the window. Thankfully, Darus entered only a moment later, before Heero had decided to question me once again.

I knew I couldn't let myself think anymore about the outcome of my mission. I couldn't risk wavering in my dedication. And I was afraid, truly afraid, that I would.

"I am glad you could meet my, my friend. I hope you are not too tired, but I wanted to get to know you better in a more intimate setting," Darus said as he entered and shook my hand. He was followed closely by the slave with the mechanical eyes. "You already know my slave, Lenz, and I have become a great admirer of your slave, Angel."

Darus bowed to Heero, who simply gaped in astonishment as Darus finished the bow by taking and kissing the back of Heero's hand. "You have done me a great service," Darus said, speaking directly to Heero and looking him straight in the eyes. "If it were not for you, I would have let things continue as they were; never knowing something was wrong. The worst kind of cancer, in my professional opinion, is the one nobody knows about, that spreads and infects before it ever shows any signs. I want to thank you deeply for making me aware of this problem, and I promise that I will eradicate it."

Lenz was blushing deeply when his master backed up, and Heero was still gaping like a fish.

"Was all that really necessary?" Lenz huffed.

"Ah-ah, love," Darus scolded gently, turning to his slave and tapping him on the nose. "You and these," he said, gently removing Lenz's glasses, "are what caused all the trouble in the first place." Lenz looked at the floor as his glinting, silver eyes were revealed, but Darus forced him to meet his gaze. "I can't believe you would let yourself believe that I would ever be ashamed of something I helped create. I'm sure the others have let the idea take root in their minds as well, seeing as you always start the bad habits around here," Darus teased, then grew serious with his slave. "But I won't allow it to go on any longer." And then he snapped the sunglasses in half, letting the pieces drop to the floor.

The thump that the plastic made as it hit the floor seemed to remind Darus that Heero and I were standing there, and he turned back to us with an apologetic smile.

"I'm sorry, you must think me terribly rude…"

"And over-dramatic," Lenz added.

"…it's just that I rarely have guests other than Zephyr, and none ever make the kind of impression you have."

"I hope that's a good thing," I said, glad to finally have brought conversation back where I could understand it.

"Oh, absolutely. I had heard that you were good at taking in broken slaves and fixing them, but I hadn't expected you to be so good that one of your slaves would fix one of mine."

"I can assure you, the talent is all in these boys. Very little of it is my influence."

"I'm sure your little lover there would disagree with you," Darus said, winking at Heero. "It's one of the reasons I invited you here, actually. But come and have a drink with me and we will talk of this more," he said, and Lenz fetched both of us a drink of strong wine. I sipped at my glass as Darus continued. "You see, I invited you here because I think there might be something alike between you and I," he said, and I almost choked on my drink. Had he heard my earlier thoughts? "You see, I have been able to take many physically dysfunctional slaves and turn them into productive, able bodied individuals, but never mentally dysfunctional slaves. I was fascinated to see how you had managed so drastically change so many boys without any physical methods. I must say, I'm impressed."

"I have done very little, I assure you."

"Ah, now there is where I cannot believe you. Even my slaves, who have been with me for years, are not as confident or, I fear, as happy as yours. And your slaves have come from the worst situations Collar has to offer and have been with you less than a year, and yet they seem barely scarred at all. Even your Angel here was, if I remember correctly, a runner, yes? One step away from death when you found him, if I'm not mistaken. And yet he is now nearly a Collar champion, and only months after he came to you. And here I am, letting my boys form phobias in exchange for a quick thrill," he said, his voice distant. It was obvious from his eyes that he was thinking very hard about the situation at hand.

"I'm not sure I understand," I told him, bringing him back to the present.

"Hm? Oh, I meant about the glasses and whatnot. When I first started doing these procedures I would have the boys hide their mechanical parts with clothing or glasses, so that I could surprise my guests at the end of the night. As my popularity increased, it was rare to find someone who didn't know about me, so I let the boys start covering themselves all the time so at least I could surprise them with which boys had what parts replaced. I never, ever thought it would lead them to believe that I was disgusted by their parts," Darus said, tucking a piece of hair behind Lenz's ear. "But I suppose you never can tell what your slave will think."

"I meant to ask you earlier, but I can't help wondering why you would be doing these procedures. I mean… obviously your skills are in high demand. Why not…"

"Why not work for someone who can pay? No, it's alright," he said, seeing that I was about to apologize. "Come, sit, and we will discuss," he said and led me to a pair of plush chairs. The slaves seated themselves on the floor beside their masters. "It's an obvious question. The fact is, the slaves accept what I can and cannot do. They accept that the procedures will not be painless in the long run, and very rarely will I be able to create something that is similar to or as good as the original. Even Lenz, who has eyes that can see for miles, views the colors of the world in a gray, washed out state. People with money, they think that they can buy their way out of the pain and the struggle. Oh, and the risk. Did I mention the risk? The procedures that I perform are only completed on the most severe cases of injury and deformity that I find, and only in the complete secrecy of Collar, because of the high level of risk. The death rate for slaves that undergo my procedures is high; almost 85%. And of the 15% that survive, many are left in excruciating pain for weeks or even months. Lenz, for example," Darus said, taking hold of Lenz's face and looking deep into the metallic eyes, "went for six months without being able to close his eyes, because the electric current would shock his eyelids, which were not protected from contact like the rest of his body. He went twelve months having to physically adjust his retinas by means of a control knob that was located above his ears. You see, money makes people think they can avoid all of the hassle, but the truth is that even after perfecting my eyes for Lenz, I would probably have to start all over if I made a pair for another person."

"I see. So your procedures are for the thrill of discovery, and not for the money."

"In part. Another part is the idea of finally leaving a worthwhile stamp on the medical field. In these last few years, being free of civilized rules and regulations I have managed to make leaps and bounds in the medical field that have put me decades beyond my counterparts. But I have left a trail of bodies in my wake. Do you think that makes me a monster?" asked, his tone seeming more casual than his question deserved.

"It depends, I suppose, on whether your subjects were willing."

"It's nearly impossible to heal someone with no will to live. There wasn't any point in trying to save a slave that had no interest in being healed."

"And if there were a point? Would you have used them then?" I asked, unable to help myself, knowing that this was not the way a master should act but unable to deny the strange feeling that perhaps Darus was more than the other brutes I had met here.

"No," Darus said, his eyes twinkling as though we had shared some sort of secret. "I don't believe I would use an unwilling participant. Free will is what makes us human. It is something that can be broken or buried, but it is only something beautiful when it is willingly given."

"I understand," I told him, and felt for the first time since I had started this mission that perhaps I wasn't the last uncorrupted figure in the world. That there could be other good people in positions of power. That my crusade wouldn't eventually result in anarchy.

"You're a good man," Darus said after a brief silence. "I'm glad Zephyr convinced me to invite you. I think that once I was a good a man too. Now I'm not so certain. Age makes us look at things differently, makes us weak."

He sighed then, and reached down to put Lenz's hair. It seemed as though our conversation had worn him out, and for the first time his face actually held its years in plain view.

"I am an old man," he continue, his eyes far away and dreamy once again. "I lived for many years in a loveless marriage, fathered children who now have children and families of their own. I spent all my time worried about money and discovery, always working and thinking and running. Now I don't even know all my grandchildren's names. When I was first offered a Collar slave, I thought it was monstrous. And, for the most part, I was right. The ability to practice my skill without a thirty-volume set of rules was what drew me into this life. For a while, I merely fixed slaves and sent them on their way, a used car dealership for humans to put it simply. But then Lenz came along, with his acid-burned eyes, damaged beyond all repair. I knew it would take years to cure him, if I ever could. And that was when I got to see a side to this process that I had never seen before. I got to experience the day-to-day recovery of someone I had helped, got to be there for all the setbacks and triumphs. More than that, I got to feel the depth of the gratitude that came from helping them. Real, true gratitude, not the thanks you get after doing a billion dollar surgery for a multi-trillionaire. After that, I just couldn't let Lenz- or any of the others- leave me. They were too much a part of me. They were my family in a way my real family had never been. I was accepted and appreciated for me. And I was loved." He paused then, and looked deeply into my eyes. "Do you think that's why we all do it? To find love, even in the worst places? Are we really such weak creatures?"

"Yes," I answered without hesitation. "We are all weak. Love… makes us weak. Makes us forget everything else."

"Hm. I'm glad you understand. I just wanted you to know because… because one day all of our weaknesses will catch up with us. Each of us will have to atone for our sins. So I just want you to understand… an old man's weakness."

I was so startled by his insinuation that I let the conversation lapse for several minutes, trying to guess what and how much he knew. Eventually, he spoke again.

"I'm sorry; I didn't mean to burden you with my troubles. It's simply that I see a kindred spirit in you. I thought Zephyr and I were perhaps the only two who were not truly here fro the violence and the lechery," he told me softly, and I felt my heart relax a bit. "Perhaps you have your own story that brings you this far into the depths of hell. But I think one story is enough for tonight. If you'll excuse me, I'd like to retire for a while. If someone will let me actually sleep," he teased tousling his slave's hair. The age was gone from his face again, and back was the man who seemed no more than middle aged, all strength and humor. "Zephyr has asked that you bring your slaves back down to the hall later tonight. His favorite hobby is photography, and he would like to take some pictures for you. I will probably be… occupied… until breakfast."

And then he was gone, leading his slave out the door by the hand and talking in soft tones to the younger man, leaving only myself, my slave, and my suspicions behind.

180 Wufei

When Zechs returned from speaking with Darus, he was visibly distracted and upset. He immediately shut himself into the master bedroom. This was despite the fact that Heero reported that he and Master Darus had actually seemed to be hitting it off rather well. Still, something Darus had said had obviously upset Zechs enough to have him hiding in his room like a two-year-old throwing a tantrum.

He'd had a lot of those lately. It was painfully obvious that he was stressed, and I was the only other soul who had an inkling as to why.

Zechs and I hadn't spoken about his mission since I first discovered it, weeks ago. Neither, of course, had we spoken about my past decisions to throw the dance competition at Collar. There simply hadn't been a moment since then when something wasn't ready to or in the process of falling apart. We'd had some fun times, certainly, but even those were squeezed in between a thousand other things that were pack into the days. It was like the Collar competition was Armageddon. Like there would be no more time after that. Like it was the end.

And was it?

It was a thought that haunted me. Was that the reason for all Zechs hurries? Was that why he pushed us so hard? Because he wanted to be rid of us as soon as possible?

I'd like for that to sound noble and brave. I'd like for you to think that I was concerned about this so that I could keep the others safe. I'd like for you to think that I'm better than worrying only about myself.

But I'm not.

If we're going to be painfully honest, and it's pretty hard to lie when you're essentially talking to yourself, I have to admit to you that I was not so worried about Zechs wanting to be rid of us as soon as possible.

I was far more worried about him wanting to be rid of me as soon as possible.

I mean, at this point, why was he even keeping me around in the first place? Just because my heart got all twisted up when I was with him, it didn't mean he felt that same. And with all the other males around swooning over him all the time, what was the likelihood he'd be interested in me over them anyway? And why did I even need him anyway? He was attractive and kind, certainly, but I had met other kind and attractive people. A few anyway. And what was so special about him?

It wasn't like I was in love with him. A mild infatuation, perhaps. A combination of physical lust and attraction to the sense of safety he provided. That was all.

It wasn't like I'd die if something happened to him. It wasn't like I was feeling scorned by his lack of trust in me. It wasn't like I felt overlooked from all the attention he was giving his other slaves. And it certainly wasn't like I was jealous of the fact that they had all paired off while the object of my affection refused to seriously heed any of my advances.

It wasn't like that at all.

And so I found myself staring at the door to the master bedroom for several minutes, trying to decide if it would be more foolish to walk away or go in.

My hand found its way to the doorknob, and I found myself stepping over the threshold. Inside, the room was dim. There were only two large windows in the room, and the light pouring through them gave the room the gothic look of a cathedral. One of the windows was open, letting a cool sea breeze waft through the room.

Zechs was on the floor, sitting crosslegged beneath that window. He held a cigarette in one hand and a glass of brandy in the other. The smoke from the cigarette curled and wafted out the window, and Zechs took another puff before he even noticed me. When he did, he gestured for me to shut the door.

"I didn't know you smoked."

"I quit when I was nineteen. Now I only smoke when I'm… anxious."

Translation: I've actually been so stressed lately that I took up smoking again.

"You should try to find some other outlet for your nervousness. Perhaps meditation."

"I can't imagine I have the patience or resolve for meditation," he said, taking a long puff from the cigarette before tossing it out the window. "There, now I've quit. Happy?"

"Ecstatic."

"So what can I do for you?"

"I wanted to talk more about… Well, about the competition. About… about my dancing event."

"I suppose we never did resolve that, did we?" he said after a long pause. His voice was calmer than I had expected. "It must have fled my mind. I guess I just really wasn't worried about it. You will win for me, won't you? It hadn't dawned on me that you might throw the event once again when you could win so easily."

"You just assumed that I'd help you?" I wondered, a little stung. I wasn't some mindless slave, to do the master's bidding. Zechs sighed.

"Don't make it sound that way, Wufei. I didn't think you'd jump to my commands, if that's what you're implying. But you know how important this event is to me and the others, and you've all been practicing so hard. I didn't think you'd throw that away out of pride."

"Tell me why you need this win, and I'll guarantee it for you," I bargained.

"You know I can't do that."  
"I'm not stupid, Zechs. The only reason people win Collar is to meet the master. And that's what you're after, isn't it? Whatever your plan is, it hinges on meeting the head of Collar? But you must be a fool to think you could actually get this far without him knowing about you. You don't know how closely this place is watched and monitored. Whatever you're doing, whoever you're working for, he already knows."

"Then why hasn't he stopped me?" Zechs snapped.

"Maybe he's toying with you. It wouldn't be unheard of, from him. But just tell me what's going on, and I can help."

"I can't risk giving you that information. It's too dangerous."

"And yet you trust me to win for you, but not to know the end result of my winning? Why should I trust you if you cannot trust me in return?" I snarled, angry myself now.

"Because I'm trying to protect you!"

"You'll get us all killed like this!"

"Why can't you have faith in me?"

"Because you won't trust me!"

"Damnit Wufei!" Zechs yelled, throwing his glass at the wall. The impact it made was like a gunshot in the small room. It hit the white wall paper and shattered, leaving a trail of brown liquid down to the floor. We were both silent after that, as though the sound had shocked us both.

"Just leave it be," Zechs whispered eventually, fisting his hands in his hair. "Can't you just leave it be? I'm trying to do what's right."

His voice was thick, like a man on the edge of collapse, and even though I was still angry at him, I couldn't help but be pulled to him. I went to my knees beside him, and he pulled me into his arms. He smelled faintly like booze and cigarette smoke, but it was only a hint, like he'd walked through a bar and never stopped. Underneath, I could smell the musky scent of his skin, and the scent of lavenders as I rested my head on his shoulder. He clung to me, like he really would fall off the edge if I weren't there.

How could I tell him he was doing the wrong thing? How could I tell him that all his efforts would be in vain, and he would eventually leave us all worse off than we had been before? How could I tell this man, who tried so hard and loved us so much, that he would eventually lose everything? And could I even help if I knew the truth? Was there anything we could do at all? Or was this fate?

I held him until he began to nod off in my arms, and then I helped him to bed. Curled up in his arms that night I could only wonder if this man would be my salvation or my downfall. No one told me redemption would hurt so much.

181 Trowa

The morning of our last day staying with Dr. Darus – and our last day of parties before the last-minute training for the Collar competitions would begin – found both Wufei and Master tired and distracted. There was something going on between them and all the slaves could sense it, most notably by the way neither of them could look the other squarely in the eye that morning. It wasn't something as simple as a fight, because Master and Wufei had been in plenty of fights. It was almost… Almost as if there was a secret between them that they refused to share with any of us, or each other. Both of them dutifully ignored that anything was wrong, which only served to make the rest of us more aware of it.  
But Wufei and Master had always had something of a special relationship. At first, I had attributed it to the fact that Wufei was not actually Master's slave, and that put them on a more equal level, but as their relationship progressed it became clear to me that it was something deeper. The more stressed Master became, the more heavily he relied on Wufei to be beside him. And now, with the stresses running high because of Collar, it worried me that Master and Wufei were so out of sorts.  
"Your face will freeze that way if you keep worrying so much," Quatre chided, reaching up to smooth the wrinkles from my brow. I let the frown fade and tried to smile for Quatre.  
"I just wish I knew what was going on between them," I admitted, pulling him into my arms. From where I was by the fireplace I could watch them across the room at the breakfast table. Both of them were totally engrossed in their eating, never once looking up to meet each other's gazes despite the fact that they were right across from each other at the table. Master looked like he had a headache again, but I'd already put a dose of aspirin beside his breakfast plate. We all kept a careful eye on what medications Master was taking, and I was temped to offer him something stronger for his headache, but I knew Heero would scold me. Master couldn't afford to lose his wits around the other masters, especially not these ones.  
"You're frowning again."  
"I'm sorry. I worry."  
"Well, stop it," Quatre teased. "Seriously, Trowa, don't worry so much. They're going to get over it. They're both just too stubborn to see that their going to get over it, or they'd have gotten over it already."  
"How can you be so sure? You don't even know what it is?"  
"It doesn't matter. If it was something unforgivable, they wouldn't be being this civil about it. So it's not something unforgivable, and therefore they are going to get over it once their manly prides decide they've had enough. Ergo, you should stop frowning."  
"Alright, my love, you win," I said, giving him a genuine smile this time. But my worry did not abate even as I took him into my arms, nor as we eventually went to dress in black shorts for the photo shoot with Master Zephyr, nor even when we all descended to one of the large drawing rooms where the cameras were set up. Master and Wufei continued to ignore each other, and as much as Duo and Quatre infected each other with excitement about having their pictures taken, Heero seemed to share in my turmoil and kept casting worried glances toward Master and Wufei. He caught my eye once, and raised an eyebrow to ask if I knew what was going on, but I could only shake my head and shrug my shoulders.

When we met with master Zephyr, Quatre and Duo went immediately the stage and began posing on the pillows that were draped over the platform, both giggling wildly. Wufei, meanwhile, struck up a conversation with Master Zephyr's slave, Breeze, and was soon chatting over the sophisticated camera equipment. Heero and I, by mutual agreement, settled on either side of Zechs as he sat opposite of Zephyr at a small table at the side of the room. Breeze was a small slave, nearly the size of Quatre, with dark hair and pale skin. His master was tall, though still shorter than Zechs, with reddish brown hair and hazel eyes. Zephyr poured himself and Zechs each a glass of wine before casting an amused glance as Breeze and Wufei.

"I suppose you may have gathered already that it's really Breeze that has the talent for photography. It's attributed to me because I own him, but I probably couldn't even find the on button on those cameras of his."  
"I had heard that your photography was sought-after, but I wasn't aware that your slave was the one to take the photos," Zechs replied, picking up the easy flow of conversation as he sipped his wine.  
"Yes, Breeze originally picked it up as a hobby, but he's become astoundingly good at it. He was adamant that he be allowed to photograph your slaves. I simply couldn't refuse him."  
"I'm glad. I'd be honored to have some photos of my slaves, especially from such a talented photographer."  
Zephyr smiled, then called to Breeze.  
"When will you start?" he asked his slave, who gave him a sheepish look in return.  
"About five minutes ago, while you two were talking," he admitted, handing a computer screen about the size of a book to Zechs and bringing up several images of Quatre and Duo laughing and tumbling around the stage.  
"They were just so natural, I couldn't help it," Breeze admitted, a blush stealing across his pale cheeks.  
"No, it's fine," Zechs said, his eyes fixed on the images of Duo and Quatre, "They're stunning."  
The images were life-like enough that I wouldn't have been surprised if they'd started moving. Each image showed Duo and Quatre filled with life and laughter. I could understand, then, why Breeze had requested such simple outfits for the picture, since the focus of the picture was the people, not the adornments. It was hard to take my eyes away from Quatre, and I glanced over to Heero and noticed that he had the same problem with Duo.  
"How many more pictures will you take?" Zechs asked after skimming through about a dozen.  
"Oh, he'll take hundreds," Zephyr answered for him. "And only be happy with a handful. But he'll give you a digital copy of all of them and print out a couple of the best for you."  
Zechs nodded, looking pleased, and handed the computer back.  
The next hour was a blur. Quatre and Duo took naturally to the camera, both being the more extroverted of the group. Breeze seemed to enjoy taking candid pictures of them together, and in different combinations with the rest of us.

Breeze seemed to find Heero and myself more interesting pieces, though, and the shots he took of us, together, individually, and with the others were more precise and exacting. As a dancer, I was not unfamiliar with the concept of using my body as a piece of art, but the positions and expressions Breeze asked me to hold were difficult primarily because I was required to hold them, where as dance was fluid movement. Heero had a particularly hard time with the pictures because he usually used his body as a means to an end, and so had no concept of what was required to make a position look graceful or fluid. Instead of being annoyed at this, however, I think Breeze took it as a challenge, and worked particularly long with Heero.

With Wufei, Breeze seemed to like portrait-style shots, although he took other styles when pairing Wufei with any of us. I had to wonder if Breeze could sense Wufei's inner turmoil, because several of the shots had Wufei looking wistfully out of the shot, his face holding just a hint of sadness. The images were almost achingly potent.  
It was several hours before Breeze began to wind down, but in the last hour his shots and poses became more specific and demanding, and I could tell that he was trying to put the finishing touches into his collection. By this point, Zephyr and Master had both had several glasses of wine, and were speaking enthusiastically about their slaves.  
"I just can't imagine how hard it would be to take on five. Seriously, you must have had ulcers!"  
"Well, there were a couple of migraine-filled weeks when we first took in Shinigami, I will admit that much," Zechs laughed, casting an affectionate glance at Duo, who was currently posing for a picture by strangling Wufei with his braid and smiling for the camera. Breeze was not amused, but I noticed him save a copy of the shot anyway.  
"He is a handful, isn't he?" Zephyr asked, the look on his face somewhere between surprise and horror.  
"Sometimes it felt like I could use both hands and a rope and still not be able to get a hold of him. But it was worth it in the end. The rewards far outweigh the cost."  
"They always do, don't they?" Zephyr said, looking toward Breeze, his eyes filling with pride. "But… still… it's hard for me to imagine how you could take five boys, and I've heard some of them were severely damaged, and turn them into such stable men, let alone a team worthy of Collar competitions."  
"It… took a lot of work," Zechs said, but I could tell by his hesitation that this had suddenly struck him as odd as well. It wasn't the first time one of us had wondered about the miniscule chances of Zechs taking in five random slaves and having them turn into the perfect Collar team. But Zechs shrugged it off. "I've always been good at reading people for inner strength and character. I suppose this ability simply kicked in when I was picking them out."  
"I'll have to let you pick out my next slaves for me then."  
"Are you looking for more?" Zechs asked, and Zephyr looked pained for a moment.  
"Not for… companions," he said, looking at Breeze, "but I do keep several slaves working for me. My accountant, actually, is one of my slaves." Zechs laughed, although it technically wasn't a joke. "But… how do you… I mean, Breeze still has nightmares, and he was hardly damaged when he came to me. How do you…"  
"They all still have nightmares," Zechs interjected. "You can't even hope to erase what's happen. Trying to cover it up won't do anything but press it deeper. You just have to make them safe enough so that they can let go by themselves. For people who have been through as much pain as they have, they will always take happiness whenever they can grasp it. Sometime you just have to convince them that they can still feel happiness, that's all. But if you truly care and want to help, sometimes that's enough, you know?"  
Zephyr looked as though he truly did understand, but Breeze called to us before he could respond.  
"One last shot, if you'd like, Master Zechs. A family photo, if you will," Breeze said, and it caused Zechs to give the first genuine smile I'd seen all day.  
It took several minutes for Breeze to arrange everyone how he wanted, although the photo mimicked how we'd been sitting all day. Zechs was on a chair in the center, with Heero and I kneeling on either side of him. Wufei sat at Zechs' feet, and Duo and Quatre lay on their stomachs in front of him, with their feet almost out of the frame. Everyone smiled, even though the picture caught Wufei looking like he wanted to roll his eyes at it all and Heero was looking directly at Duo. Duo was giving his wicked grin at the camera, like he'd just done something naughty, and Quatre had on an almost too-serene smile, as if to say he'd had no part of the mischief. I couldn't help a small smile of my own at the two. Master seemed to be taking it all in, smiling directly at the camera. It was almost like the idea of our group. Like everything was perfect.  
When the camera snapped, the moment was over. We began to gather our things and disperse. Breeze promised to send Master a digital copy of the pictures before we left and to mail the printed copies later.  
It was then that Zephyr approached us. It was apparent that in the half an hour that it had taken Breeze to set up the picture, Zephyr had finished off the bottle of wine. He was now visibly intoxicated, swaying on his feet, and he seemed upset.  
"Zechs, before you go, I need to say something to you," Zephyr said, but stumbled as he approached. Breeze was instantly at his side, giving what little support he could with his small stature, and trying to pull Zephyr away.  
"Master, I think you'd best go lie down," Breeze said, but Zephyr would not be budged, and fixed his stare on Zechs.  
"Listen, please, I need you to listen!" Zephyr said, and Zechs was surprised enough only to nod. "Look… Look, I just wanted you to know that… that some of us aren't monsters. I know that's what it must seem like to you, but we don't want to be monsters. Darus and I… there are reasons we are here, reasons we can't leave here. Once you have a slave, and especially once you care for that slave, you can't ever get away from this place. I just want you to understand because I believe that you will be in a similar situation very soon and… and I want you to know, as a friend, that love is always the most important thing. Don't ever doubt it, and don't ever give up on it."  
And then he turned and let Breeze pull him away, leaving Master looking worried and upset.  
Even after Darus came to explain that his friend simply couldn't hold his liquor and to bid us farewell, Zechs still seemed uneasy, unable to write off Zephyr's words as simply drunken ramblings. I suppose it didn't help matters when Darus gifted Zechs with six slaves, to "see what you can do with them. They are all sound of body, and of no use to me. Good luck!" Darus said, and bid us farewell.  
I could see the headache starting already as Master's stress levels rose. As we boarded the train and headed for home, I could hardly imagine what the coming week would bring.

And from there, it was time for Collar.

182 Duo

I like to fuck.

Most guys do, right?

I mean, it's generally accepted that most men like to have sex. And me? I like to have sex somewhat more than most guys. Well… good sex, anyway. The kind that really winds you up.

Heero?

Heero loves sex.

Like, Heero might actually pick sex over breathing if it came down to it. It'd be a really close call for him, anyway.

So, when we got back from the parties and Zechs informed us that we had one week before the Collar competition and that the new slaves would take over all our chores so that we could practice, Heero took to the practice like he does everything else.

With an insane, inhuman, monstrous amount of dedication and diligence.

Which is what, eventually, led to this conversation.

"No, Heero, I cannot fucking make my penis move on its own. Nor can I make it get long, shorter, dance, or read the alphabet! And if you can, then you're a complete freak. There, I said it."

"There's no need to get angry. I was merely saying that it would make the performance more interesting if you could."

"It would make the performance more interesting if I could pull a bicycle out of my ass, but that ain't happenin' either, buddy!"

"Do you need to take a break?"

"Gee, Heero, it's only been three hours. I think I can last at least another two days before needing to stop for rest or food."

"We could practice… Oh, you were being sarcastic."

And that was the point that I threw my hands up in the air, turned, and stormed out of the training room.

I had better win Collar this year, I thought to myself, or he's going to fucking kill me next year.

Really, I wasn't just being a bitch. With only days to go before Collar, Heero had thrown his obsess switch into overdrive and had been cracking the whip like I was a rented mule. I'd probably gotten more sex in the last two days than I had in the last six months. I was fucking wore out!

Although, to be fair, I wasn't the only one. I barely got to see Wufei, Quatre, or Trowa in the last two days, since they were also almost constantly working on their own skills and routines. And Wufei had been hidden in the library or the gym almost from the moment we got back. And Zechs… Well, I almost felt bad for Zechs, dealing with all the new slaves.

You see, when Zechs had taken on each of his first five slaves, he'd done it pretty much one at a time. So when one of us had a problem, he'd been able to personally address and monitor it. It was one of the things that made him such a great guy to be enslaved to, actually. He really cared, probably too much, about making his slaves better.

And now he had eight fucked up loonies to deal with.

So let me run down the list for you.

Demos, the sexy butler.

Waif, with the scar on his face

The twins, Romi and Loki, who acted like dolls.

Sith, who wanted to be favorite.

Rox, the silent thug.

Meri, who was used to being spoiled.

And Adio, who was sickly.

Sound like a good mix? Yeah, not so much. Between Sith, who was constantly trying to push the others (and us) out of the way for attention, and Meri who never wanted to do anything but chew bubblegum and watch television, Zechs was at the end of his rope.

But, at the same time, it brought out the best in Zechs. With all of his Collar slaves wrapped up in their events, Zechs threw himself into preparing his new slaves for his nearly month-long absence as the rest of us went to Collar. Wisely, Zechs had decided to leave all of the new slaves behind when we travelled to Collar. The idea of bringing any of these new, untried, and somewhat untrained was as ridiculous as… well… as taking me to Collar.

The first few nights, the new slaves slept in the living room, curled up on couches and a few curled up on the floors. Zechs didn't seem pleased that Demos, the eldest of the slaves, had to sleep on the floor while Meri, Romi, and Loki took the couches, but Meri whined enough that Zechs let it go. Adio, who had been diagnosed by Sally with chronic malnutrition and dehydration, was sleeping in the medical room with an IV of vitamins and fluid pumping into his arm.

Sith, twisting his long auburn hair around his finger and coyly batting his eyelashes, asked if he could share Master's bed, since he was awfully lonely. That was unlikely, considering he and Rox had formed a quick friendship, but Zechs rebuffed him firmly anyway.

"When I want you in my bed, I will call you there," he had said firmly, and then went upstairs to sleep with Wufei. I could hardly keep the smile off my face as Sith snarled and cursed as soon as Zechs was out of the room.

"What the fuck is your problem?" Sith snarled at me.

"Nothin'" I said, then peeled myself off the wall I'd been leaning against and sauntering upstairs. I had to be careful not to walk too fast and give Sith any thoughts of weakness.

"Why do you rile him like that?" Heero wondered as he joined me going up the stairs.

"Don't want him getting the idea that he's got the run of the place," I answered.

"Master wouldn't like it."

"Yeah, but he's kinda naive about this sort of thing, don't you think?" I asked as we entered the bedroom and started shucking clothes. Heero and I, along with Quatre and Trowa, had gone back to sleeping in our own rooms, mainly to keep from disturbing Master with our training schedules.

"He just wants us all to get along," Heero defended, climbing into bed. I climbed in beside him, pulling him into my arms.

"Sometimes, the only way to get along is to make sure everybody knows their places. I know guys like Sith. He'll slit your throat to get your dinner and not think twice about it. He'll never understand that Master isn't like that."

Heero was silent for a moment, before nodding against my chest.

"Sometimes I forget what it was like before Master. What it was like when everyone was like Sith."

It was my turn to sigh now, and to kiss his forehead.

"Sometimes I wish I could," I said, and he leaned up and kissed me.

"I'll make you forget," he promised, and kissed me deeper. I kissed him back, and this lasted for several minutes, but unfortunately we'd been fucking pretty much all day, and our libidos were done. We fell asleep snuggled against each other.

I'd like to detail all the progress Zechs made within a week with his new slaves, but for the most part we were kept separate from the others. With his original slaves so wrapped up in their Collar events, I know Zechs spent a lot of time working with his new slaves. Demos, for the most part, took actual care of the other slaves and shepherded them around, but I know Zechs spent extra time working with the twins, who lived in constant fear of being separated because their previous master had only separated them to punish one or the other. Otherwise, the pair would only follow instructions or sit quietly together. Zechs managed to entice them into playing games, but he struggled with their separation anxiety. Adio spent most of the week sleeping, and was shakey and pale any time he appeared at meals. Waif followed Demos around like a puppy, having bonded with the older slave before the others had arrived. The two of them managed to handle most of the chores around the house, along with trying to get the others to do the chores Zechs had set for them. Meri was the worst about dodging chores, and could almost always be found sucking on a piece of candy and watching television less than ten minutes after he'd been set to something. Unlike me, who had avoided chores out of deliberate disobedience, Meri was simply lazy, and would whine or make excuses the moment he was found out. If that didn't work, he'd offer to trade sexual favors to Rox to get him to do it. And Rox, who rarely said no to anyone, never said no to Meri.

But the real problem was Sith. Sith, with the slim form of a dancer and glossy black hair. His eyes were bright green on his narrow face and he was always smiling at Zechs. He reminded me of a snake, and he had his eye on Zechs.

It wasn't until two days before Collar that we found out just how far he would go.

Let me make this clear: Zechs did not have sex with his new slaves. He had his Collar slaves, which his new slaves considered his harem, and then the new slaves that Zechs treated like normal servants. This confused and frustrated the hell out of the new slaves, most of which had been used exclusively as sex slaves. Despite their near-constant efforts to seduce him – some of which were obvious and loud enough that the entire household knew what was happening – Zechs refused to use any of them for sex, even when Wufei and the rest of us were too busy for sex.

So, I guess, Sith got the idea in his head that the only way he could become Zechs' favorite was to become a Collar slave. And the only way to do that would be to replace one of the slaves already in the competition.

Ergo, Sith would need to eliminate one of the Collar slaves.

And Quatre had always seemed like our weak link.

At first, it was little things. A slippery floor next to the stairs when he was coming back from the shower. Trowa caught him that time, grabbing his wrist before he had fallen more than a step. Zechs had been very upset with Meri, who had been asked to clean the hallway earlier in the day.

Later, it seemed strange that Quatre would manage to get the hem of his shirt too close to the flame when he was cooking, especially when his shirt was not particularly loose and when he was so familiar with the gas stove that he had practiced on. But Quatre didn't panic and flail, even though Sith had supposedly panicked and ran away. Wufei had been coming down to the kitchen for a cup of tea, and managed to put Quatre out before the burn was bigger than a sunburn. Zechs was so upset, though, he refused to let Quatre train for the rest of the day, blaming the accident on fatigue.

There could have been more, it was impossible to tell. Considering there were only three days left until Collar, I don't know how Sith thought he was going to manage to get Quatre out of the running and get himself into the running and still manage not to embarrass Zechs. I mean, it wasn't ever like he was a trained Collar slave. And I don't think he knew just how dedicated Zechs was to winning this year, or I don't think he would have tried anything. If he weren't new to the household, or a total nutter, he probably would have realized that Zechs would at least be furious about Quatre being injured. He definitely wouldn't be in a mood to welcome a new slave into his bed. I suppose Sith was banking on Zechs being angry at Quatre for the injuries, and wanting to take another slave into the competition to punish or replace Quatre.

And when it hit two days before Collar and none of his plans had managed to take Quatre out of the running, I think he panicked. I don't know why he felt the need to be in this Collar match any more than I understood Zechs' need to win this year. Safe to say that Zechs obsession was nearly rampant, and it most likely helped to fuel Sith's fire.

To be fair, I don't think that Sith ever meant to kill Quatre. I don't _think_ his obsession went that far. I think he was desperate, and I think he panicked, but I don't think that counts as an excuse.

During the last few days before Collar, when Quarter's "accidents" were at the worst, and we all had an understanding that one of us would be with Quatre at all times. I was in the kitchen making a lunch when Quatre found the note on the refrigerator.

"Duo, look, Wufei says the baby birds outside the library window have hatched. Can I go see them? Wufei says he'll be up there until noon."

"Yeah, just let me cook these hamburgers and I'll come up with you," I told him. Hamburgers were my specialty… and pretty much the only thing I could make that anyone would eat.

"Can't I go up now? Wufei said he'd be up there," he pleaded and I hesitated, but what harm could he get into going up a couple flights of stairs?

"Alright, but watch for wet floors," I called as he immediately darted toward the hallway. I could hear him bounding up all three flights of stairs to the third-floor. I heard Zechs call to him as he passed Zechs' second-story office, but I couldn't hear what Quatre answered. I smiled as I flipped the burgers, only one having burnt while I was distracted.

I wasn't until I heard the scream outside that I remembered Heero and Wufei had gone riding that morning and weren't due back until noon.

I raced out the front door and onto the lawn, and my heart jumped to my throat as I saw Quatre clinging to the gutter of the second story roof. Somehow he had managed to fall out the third story window. Luckily, the third story was smaller than the second, and there was a ledge under it that covered the rest of the second story. Unfortunately, it appeared that Quatre had rolled down the incline of the roof when he had fallen and ended up griping the gutter for dear life.

"Hold on Quatre!" I yelled, my heart pounding.

"Duo, I'm slipping!" he screamed back, and I could already see the gutter coming away from the building. I knew that I didn't have time to get to the third story and pull him back up, so I did the only thing I could think of and positioned myself underneath him in hopes of catching him as he fell.

But Quatre is not significantly smaller than me and was a good thirty-five feet up. That much weight falling from that height packs a lot of punch. So I was pretty much aware that, while my body would most likely cushion his fall enough for him to survive, the impact of his body on mine could very likely kill me. And somehow… I almost felt like I deserved it.

After all… I was supposed to be watching him, and if I couldn't even protect my own family… did I really deserve to live?

And then the gutter came free and Quatre was scrabbling to keep a hold, cutting his hands on the sharp metal, and eventually falling. I positioned myself as best I could and braced my legs to catch him, closing my eyes at the last possible second and bracing for impact.

But it never came. Instead, there was a grunt and a thud above me, and I looked up to find Zechs leaning out the office window and clutching Quatre around the middle. They hung like that for a minute, which Quatre's back braced against the wall of the house where it had hit when Zechs grabbed him, before Zechs began to pull Quatre inside.

By the time I managed to dash up the stairs, Zechs had managed to pull a bruised and shaken Quatre in through the window and was cradling him on the floor, trying to look Quatre's cut hands. The scream had attracted the other slaves and Trowa, who barreled past me to kneel beside Quatre.

"Quatre, what happened?" Zechs asked when he had examined Quatre's palms. Trowa moved to get medical supplies and began bandaging the cuts as I panted in the hallway.

"I was… I was looking at the birds and I… I fell… and…"

"That's bullshit and you know it!" I snarled, too livid and too angry with myself to hold my tongue. "That little shit Sith pushed you, and you're fucking lying to protect him? Fuck that shit! You could have died!"

"Duo! He couldn't have meant to…"

"Oh no, he just wanted to help you get a closer look, that's all. A closer look at the ground!"

"Duo, you can't just…"

"Quatre," Master interrupted, and his voice was too stern to be interrupted. "I want you to tell me right now, and don't you dare lie to me. Did Sith push you?"

"I… He… I don't think he meant for me to fall off of the first ledge…"

"So he did push you?" Zechs asked again, and this time Quatre could only lower his head and nod.

By this time we'd gathered a crowd, and I saw Sith come up behind it, his face white as a sheet. Zechs took one look at him and stood, handing Quatre to a livid-looking Trowa.

"Get your things," he said, his voice more tightly controlled than I'd ever heard it. "You're going back."

183 Zechs

I hadn't felt the bitter burn of anger like this in a long time. Angry at myself, angry at the idiot boy in the back seat. I took a turn too sharply, and I couldn't help the feeling of satisfaction when he was thrown against the side of the car. He glared at me; he'd given up pleading half an hour ago.

The nearest Collar pickup location was two hours from the house. I had been given firm instructions on bringing the slaves there if I grew bored with them, if I hurt one too badly to be useful, or if one of them died. I had been warned that turning a slave loose or losing a slave would result in my termination as a Master (and most likely my termination as a living person). So while it was tempting to just drop Sith off by the side of the road, I had little doubt that Collar would find out, and I would not endanger the rest of my slaves over this one.

I could still feel Quatre's arms in my grip, feel the tug as his body slammed against the side of the house. It had been nearly an hour now since I left, and my ears still rang from his scream. If I'd been anywhere else, if I'd been any slower, he'd have crashed to the earth beneath, and probably would have died.

It wasn't just that Sith had endangered Quatre's life. They'd all done that to each other to some extent while they were adjusting. It was that, with no warning or provocation, he'd gone out of his way to intentionally harm one of the other slaves. And he'd done it away from Collar, at my home, where they were supposed to be safe.

Where I could let my guard down, just for a little while, and be with them.

But the buzzing in my head told me that my guard was back up now, and it wasn't likely to go down again until after Collar. Even home wasn't safe anymore, and just hours away from heading into the biggest completion of their lives, my boys were wound up and confused, angry and scared.

Not to mention Quatre's hands. The cuts across his palm had been small, not even large enough for stitches, but would the pain distract him? They certainly wouldn't be healed by Collar. Had this boy just cost me the edge in these competitions?

Because the closer it came to the actual games, the more certain I was that we had to win this year. I had to meet with the Owner, and take down the Collar games, because I could not take another year of this. I would break, and the boys would suffer.

It was dusk outside, and the houses had given way to a thick forest the further we went. It wasn't an area I was familiar with, but I was good at following directions. I had been told that this location was more secluded than the others, that it was on a ranch instead of in the city. Eventually, I had found the private road and turned into a denser part of the forest for the last few miles to the ranch. In a way it felt almost comforting to drive through the thick forests at this time of night. The lights and sounds of the city would have aggravated me, but the imposing forest suited my mood.

Because I didn't really want to give up on Sith. There was promise there, behind those sharp eyes. The boy had wit and intelligence, and one could hardly blame him for lacking compassion after all he'd been through. His competitiveness was a problem, but mostly because the environment he'd been in had forced him to fight for his survival. It wasn't like a week with me would convince him that it was different now.

But, at the same time, I couldn't keep him. Taking him to Collar was out of the question, but so was leaving him at the house. After all, I really had no idea what Sith was capable of, or how deeply his psychosis ran. Keeping him locked up the whole time was an option, but I would have to let the other slaves feed him. I could trust Demos not to free him, but it was pretty likely that Sith could corrupt one of the others. If two of them overcame Demos and made a run for it, it would jeopardize the entire mission, not to mention all of my slaves. And I couldn't risk blowing my cover by asking for an agent to watch my slaves. I had done it when I initially got Heero, but I was too deep under cover now. There was too much of a chance that I was being watched, especially since I'd gained so much status as a master. If Collar itself wasn't watching me, there was a good chance other masters were, in an effort to knock me out of the competition.

I felt bad about taking Sith back, but I couldn't risk the safety of the rest of my slaves for him. And, hopefully, in a few short weeks I could offer a brighter future to him and all the rest of the boys trapped in this horrible situation.

"I just want you to know, I know who you work for. If you send me back, I'm gonna tell everyone."

Shit.

I slammed on the breaks and pulled over to the side of the road. I'd been so careful. How had he found out? Had Wufei said something? But Wufei was smarter than that, and I had made sure to keep all the files on my computer locked and encrypted. I'd even kept the door locked when he was in there. It seemed impossible that Sith had gotten in there and found anything incriminating without leaving any evidence. It seemed impossible.

And, I realized as I glanced in the rearview mirror and was met with a shocked pair of blue eyes, it was. The dawning horror on Sith's face let me know he had been bluffing.

And I'd just given myself away.

I couldn't take him back to the house now. He'd tell the others. There was no way I could contain all of them, not if they knew. Not well enough to be sure they wouldn't jeopardize the mission. Not well enough to ensure the safety of my boys.

And I couldn't send him away. There was no question that he'd tell the officials that I had a secret, out of spite if nothing else. And even if he wasn't believed, the attention it would bring to me was too much of a risk.

Can't keep him. Can't send him away.

My heart was pounding, and I could feel my pulse behind my eyes. I turned the car off and rubbed my temples. Trying to give myself time to think.

"You can't take me back now. I know," he said, and his voice was calm and sultry. "Let's go back to the house. I won't make any problems for you."

But I could hear the lie there. He knew he had me now. I couldn't take him back. He had power over me, and he wasn't afraid to use it. If I took him with me to Collar, he could embarrass me in front of the other masters. If I left him at him, he could bolt or corrupt the other slaves.

Can't go. Can't stay.

The car was suddenly too small, and I unbuckled my seatbelt and climbed out. The night air was cool and hit me like a blow, letting me clear my head. I took a few deep breaths and stared into the forest. I doubted anyone would be out at this time, especially on land that belonged to Collar, so I gave myself minute to calm down. I walked to the back of the van and leaned against the rear doors, but the pounding in my head just wouldn't subside.

There was a far off thought in my mind, but I couldn't bring myself to contemplate it.

I let myself slide to the ground as I heard Sith's door open. He hesitated a moment, then climbed out and quietly came to kneel beside me.

"I can be just as good for you as those other slaves," he whispered in my ear. "You'd be much happier with me, if you'd only give me a try."

I pulled him into my lap and he curled against me, but I was too sick to my stomach to feel anything for him. I placed my hand on his shoulder and found the heartbeat under my fingers. Slowly, I squeezed the pressure point. He struggled for a moment, surprised at the unprovoked attack, and then went limp against me.

The buzzing in my head faded as I stretched him out across my lap. Unconscious, he was far prettier than when I could see the manipulation in his eyes. His face was angular like Trowa's, although the cheekbones weren't set as high. His nose was small, like Wufei's, and his eyes were just a shade darker than Heero's. His hands were like Quatre's, and as I held him in my lap I couldn't bring myself to lace our fingers, because I was afraid I'd see too much of them in him.

Because, really, he wasn't so different. They'd all been scared by what they'd been through, been raised to look out for themselves no matter what the cost or who got hurt. How could I blame a person who'd been tortured for adapting to that abuse? How could I blame him for surviving? If anything, Sith was the victim here, not the villain. And as he lay silent and helpless in my arms, it became harder and harder to blame him for anything.

It tore at my heart to see him looking so innocent, and I felt a tear splash the back of my hand before I even realized I was crying. I cradled his limp body to me, hiding my face in his and smelling the same soup that all my boys used. I sobbed against his shoulder, unable to contain myself. The crickets were chirping in the background, and suddenly the sound was deafening, like an unholy audience watching my every move. But I wouldn't let them stop me.

Because I would do anything to protect my boys. Even if it damned me to hell, I would gladly trade my soul for theirs.

The crickets were deafening now, and the buzzing in my head had returned with it. I let out a primal howl of rage against the injustice of the universe, against the fickleness of fate, and against the unholy act I was about to commit against the boy in my arms.

Sith's neck snapped with an audible crack, and then everything was quiet.

184 Wufei

When Zechs returned home, I knew something was wrong immediately. Not because he came into the room without any pretense of being quiet, though he usually tries to sneak in when he thinks I'm sleeping. Not because he'd forgotten to take his shoes and his coat off downstairs and he'd tracked mud over the carpets. And not even because he refused to turn on the light after I was clearly awake.

I knew something was wrong because he went straight for the bottle of whiskey on the desk in the corner, and lit up a cigarette from the pack he had stashed in the bottom drawer.

"Zechs?" I asked hesitantly. I'd never seen him in a mood like this before, and I wasn't sure how to deal with it. "What's wrong?"

Zechs made a pained, abortive snort into his whisky glass, something that could have been considered a chuckle if it hadn't sounded so despondent.

"No, nothing's wrong. I'm sorry I woke you, I'll let you go back to sleep," he said, then snagged the whiskey bottle and headed for the door. I was out of the bed before I realized I was moving, and had his hand in mine before he'd managed to take two steps.

"Don't," I said. "You'll wake the others going back down the stairs." It was pure emotional blackmail, but I didn't want him facing this alone. Whatever it was, I wanted him to face it with me.

The seconds ticked by as we stood there, illuminated only by the moonlight coming in through the windows. It was a cool summer night, with the promise of fall still a few weeks off. And yet Zechs' hand was like ice in my grip, and I could see a shiver run up his spine even under his light blazer and full clothes, while I was dressed in nothing but sweatpants and could barely feel the cold. Eventually, Zechs sighed and I knew that I had won as he let the bottle slip from him fingers and drop to the floor with a dull thud. I released his hand and reached up to take his jacket, only to suddenly find myself enveloped by his desperate embrace.

I managed not to react, even though the sudden entrapment sent a spike of claustrophobia through me, and I spent several seconds limp in Zechs' vice-like grip. It was only when I felt the tremors running through his shoulders that I managed to put my arms around him, running my fingers through his hair with one hand and placing the other on the small of his back. It seemed to calm him a little, and his grip on my torso eased slightly.

"Zechs," I called as calmly as I could manage, because quite honestly he was scaring me. "Tell me what's wrong," I asked, but he only shook his head and would not even look at me.

Surely taking Sith back had not upset him this much? I knew how strongly Zechs cared about his slaves and how seriously he took his role as their guardian, even the slaves that had so recently come under his protection, but this was too much. Sith had damned himself by his own actions, and it was plain that Zechs could not keep a slave like that without endangering the lives of the others. Not everyone could be saved.

But I couldn't fathom what had brought about this reaction. Surely Zechs didn't feel that Sith's actions had been because Zechs had failed him? They'd hardly had more than a week together, and Zechs had been forced to spend much of that week helping us train for Collar and training the other new slaves for when we left. And I hadn't seen anything that would lead me to believe that Zechs had formed a special connection with Sith- actually, Zechs seemed to have a genuine dislike of the boy. So, while I understood Zechs being upset that he had been forced to send Sith back into the hands of the other masters, wasn't this amount of emotion… overdramatic?

But it felt real enough. The pain almost radiated from Zechs, sending aching coldness down to my bones. Whatever the reason, he was wretched, and I didn't know how to help.

"Please, Zechs, just tell me what's wrong!" I prompted, and his movements made me think that he might finally be ready to talk to me, but instead he took my lips in a frantic kiss. I was so surprised at first that I couldn't even kiss him back, and just let him plunder my mouth with his tongue. I finally regained my composure enough to meet his kiss, holding his face in my hands to steady us. It was a desperate kiss, more tongue and teeth than lips, and we were both panting by the time it was finished. His eyes finally met mine as we parted, but they were so filled with pain that they gave me no hint to what was causing his turmoil. He met my gaze for only a second, and then pulled back.

As he released me, I realized that his cigarette was still clutched in his fingers, bent from the force of his grip and spreading ashes all over the carpet. Zechs seemed to notice it for the first time, and quickly put it out on the antique mahogany wardrobe and chucked the stub into the wastebasket.

"I'm sorry, Wufei, I'm not myself right now," he said, his voice deep and troubled.

"I don't know how to help you if you don't tell me what's wrong," I told him, even though my anxiety was giving way to annoyance.

"I don't think anything can help me now," he said, more to himself than to me. With that comment, I felt my fear shift toward anger and felt the glare return to my face.

"Then run from it, you coward. Whatever's haunting you, I'm sure it will go away if we don't talk about it," I snarled. "Far be it for me to suggest you share your problems with a lowly slave!"

"I just want to forget!" he snapped, grabbing me by the shoulders so suddenly that I instinctively grabbed the front of his shirt to steady myself. "I don't want to see his eyes anymore! Damnit, Wufei, just help me forget!" he cried, shoving me toward the bed. I think he meant to push me away and then retreat, but I had the front of his shirt in an iron grip, and he was pulled to the bed with me as I fell. He landed with his knees splayed on either side of me, his face merely inches from my own. His eyes were haunted still, but either the whiskey or the kiss had brought some of the life back into them, and he looked at me like I was his last hope. "Just help me forget," he whispered, and this time he was pleading.

I know now that I probably should have denied him. That all I really did was to help him bury the emotional wounds, so that they could fester under cover. And I could blame it on the years of training to please my master, or I could blame it on the loyalty that I felt to the foundation of my new family. But the simple fact was that after seeing such pain his eyes, there wasn't anything I wouldn't do to ease his pain, if only for a moment.

If I had to do it all over again, I still don't know that I could deny him.

_-Edited for Content-_

"Thank you," he said quietly, and the sadness had been banished from his eyes, but now he just looked tired.

"You still haven't told me what's wrong," I prompted.

"Does there have to be anything more? I failed Sith, endangered you all. Isn't that bad enough?" he asked, but it was an evasion and I knew it.

"That's not what it is. Tell me," I prompted, but he would not budge, instead turning away from me and curling up on his own side of the bed.

"I'm tired," he said, but I couldn't let it go.

"Zechs," I prompted, laying my hand on his shoulder, but he sharply pulled away from me.

"Wufei, enough!" he barked, and it was the master's voice, the one he hardly ever used with me. It crystalized for me that whatever we had just shared, whatever I had given him by meeting him as a sexual equal, was now over. He was the master, and I was the slave.

It was the first time I truly wondered if Zechs was doing what was best for us.

185 Zechs

When we departed the train and boarded the satellite that hosted the Collar games, I'd like to tell you that my trigger finger was twitching and I was ready for action. In reality, however, my stress level was at an all-time high and, while I was happy that this would all soon be over, I was so sick to death of the lies and the abuse that permeated every facet of my new life that the only thing that kept me going was the idea that it might be over soon.

It didn't help that, on top of my guilt over Sith, I was still dealing with my mistreatment of Wufei. I had wanted to tell him what had happened, had ached to unburden myself to someone, but I had been terrified that he would reject me, had been unable to face his recriminations. So instead I had hidden and shut him out, and so I couldn't really blame him for his cold attitude toward me now, but it would have meant a lot to me to have his support. But it was my own fault he had withdrawn, and I prepared for the worst as we entered Collar.

So when a tall slave and two guards approached us as soon as we boarded the satellite, I didn't even flinch. I nodded as they bid me to follow, bringing Wufei in tow, and sending the others on to our rooms. If they had found me out or if they merely wanted to question me about the loss of my slave, I would bear them all equally. It seemed all I could do was try not to crack under the pressure.

I wasn't expecting to be led to a lush sitting room. Thick carpets adorned the floors, and expensive paintings lined the walls. Several couches were in the room, wooden with dark velvet fabrics, and a pair of wineglasses had been set out, resting next to a bottle of aged red wine. For a moment I thought we were alone as the doors closed behind us, before I noticed the figure sitting in a chair at the head of the room. The figure was tall and male, but the curtains hanging around the chair obscured any more of my view. Wufei peered around me at the figure, and seemed much more frightened than I could find the energy to be.

"Welcome, Zechs Marquis," the figure said, and Wufei started as though he'd been burned.

"Master!" Wufei exclaimed, a barely-hidden tremble in his voice.

"Don't worry, Wufei, I'm not here for you. Actually, you are dismissed, Dragon."

Wufei cast a worried glance from the shadowed figure to me and hesitated.

"Dragon, out!" the voice snapped, and I think Wufei was leaving before he even knew he was moving. Still, he cast one last worried glance to me at the doorway before slipping out and shutting the door behind him. I turned back to the shadowed figure, unimpressed by his hold over Wufei.

"So I am in the presence of the Owner, am I? Should I be impressed?"

The figure laughed and rose, staying just inside the shadow of the curtains. I wondered if they had been set out merely to conceal his face from me, and I tried to catalogue as much information as I could. The person was intimidatingly tall, I would give him that much. Taller even than me by a few inches, and I was far from short. He was dressed in a black suit, which looked expensive although I couldn't name the brand. The sleek fabric clung to his body, revealing a chiseled chest and sculpted biceps, both arousing and intimidating. This wasn't the kind of person who would shy from a fight, and I realized that I might have my hands full if he decided to try a physical attack. Something in his voice told me that he wouldn't need to resort to that kind of violence, though. Something strong and… familiar.

"Most people would be impressed by having their own, personal audience with me, but not you," he said, and I could hear the amusement in his voice. "Then again, it isn't the first time you've seen me in private. Nor the hundredth, I'd dare say."

"I don't follow you," I told him, feeling my first genuine twinge of fear. It almost made me miss the cloud of apathy I'd been shrouded in.

"Come now, Milliardo, you don't forget your lovers so easily now, do you?" the man wondered, and then stepped out of the shadow.

Looking back, I must seem painfully naive. Even with my rank and my double life, how I could have thought I would pull off a disguise around such powerful people, for so long, amazes even me. But when Treize stepped out of the darkness and revealed himself- taller, stronger, and older though he was- it was like a ghost and a nightmare all rolled into one. My stomach plummeted and I was nearly dizzy with fear and disappointment.

"But… you can't be…" I stuttered uselessly. Treize only laughed. I remembered, heart wrenchingly, of when I had loved that sound. Now, it sent chills to my bones.

"Why not? Because my bloodlines aren't as good and my heritage isn't as long as yours?" he asked, and I could hear the bitterness there that didn't quite show in his voice. It was always the same. "Come now, Milliardo, you can't say I ever lacked for ambition. And now? Now I have Kings, Queens, and Heads of State under my thumb, trembling at the thought that I'll reveal their dirty secrets to the masses. And, eventually, I will. But, come, sit with me. I've seen you for months now, but we've never really gotten to talk. To catch up."

He was by my side now, resting his hand on my arm, and I think that the solidness of his presence was all the kept me standing as my head spun.

"You… Jesus… you knew all along? About me. About… About why I'm here?"

The world tilted, and I found myself leaning against the wall for support.

"That you're a plant for Preventers? Of course," he said, stepping toward me. "Why do you think you got in? At first I was just going to have you shot, but when I saw who the plant was I approved you to become a member. I wanted to see how you'd fare. And I'm impressed."

"So… everything… all of it… was just a sham?"

I felt the heat rise to my face, and my stomach roiled.

"Not everything. You're interactions with the boys was true, as was you interactions with the other masters, although I did push a few of them into your path to see how you'd react. Everything else, though? Yes, I'm afraid everything else was monitored and controlled by me. You should be honored that I took such an interest in you."

"Honored?" I snarled, "Look at what you've done! Look at what you've become!"

But Treize just tsked, refusing to rise to my anger, and I felt it drain out of me.

"Collar was here before me, and it would be here without me. But if it's any consolation, I've used it for a greater purpose."

I snorted, and found my knees buckling beneath me. "What greater purpose could there possibly be in slavery?" I asked, still trying to hold the bile down. Treize knelt in front of me and took my hand in his own. The touch was so familiar that it sent chills down my spine.

"Listen, Milliardo, because I want you with me for this. I have a thousand, perhaps by this point a hundred thousand men here with no families, no ties, and no real reason to blame me for this situation. Most of them are immune to pain, and all of them are young, fit, beautiful, and begging to be given a higher purpose. The Collar competitions are part of that purpose, but it is not nearly enough. Do you see?"

"No, I don't see."

"It's going to be a revolution, Milliardo!" he said, and his voice was so honest and exuberant that it made me want to vomit. And then I realized what he meant.

"You're going to take out all the owners."

"I am. For the same reason that Preventers didn't take them out. If all of the leaders are killed, then countries will fall into chaos. The exact thing that they hoped to avoid by refusing to act against the organization as a whole is what I will now precipitate."

"But… the slaves are not warriors. They're… they're concubines!"

"They're young, and they're miserable. Besides, with advancements like Dr. Darus is making, it won't matter that they're untrained. And don't think his work is the only one I've been watching. I've got a genetic engineer and chemical scientist that have both shown leaps and bounds in their progress this year. That's why I think that it's about time to start culminating my little project, don't you?"

"But what would make the slaves follow you, if their lives are on the line?"

"Why, because I will rescue them, of course," Treize said, and it was with the same faked sincerity I had seen him use to convince troops and politicians alike. "I've already formed a crack tactical squad called White Fang that will target and eliminate the masters one by one. It's all very public, actually. You see, once my organization announces that they have been created by a generous humanitarian specifically to stop human trafficking and punish those that engage in it, we'll be public heroes. All we'll need to do if flash some photos of abused, crying teenagers and we'll be lauded no matter who we destroy in the mean time."

"The public won't let you shoot their leaders in the streets."

"No, not the first few, but then we won't have to, will we? The public will turn on them, and then once it becomes clear how rampant this perversion is, everyone with influence will be a target. It won't matter if they were actually involved in Collar or not, all the public will need is my word that they are. Soon, the public will have disposed of all their leaders, and with my troops of rehabilitated slaves I'll be able to come in and assume occupation of the area. After all, no one would suspect the hero, would they? Which brings me to you."

"If you kill me, Preventers will have reason and right to move against you," I said, but it rang hollow in my own ears. He'd never buy it.

"Preventers don't actually know who I am yet, correct? Or they would have moved against me already. And they won't move against any of the masters because they can't afford the chaos it would bring. And they won't move against this station because they don't have a definable target and they don't know who will get caught in the crossfire. Am I close here?"

He was eerily close, unfortunately.

"So what do you want?"

"Well, unfortunately, you've created a bit of a nuisance of yourself. You see, my plan depends on the slaves hating and being miserable with their masters. Two of the few notable exceptions, you meet only weeks ago. Those exceptions are well aware that their every action is monitored and controlled by me, and that any whim of mine could have them destroyed. More or less, their emotional connections to their slaves have forced them to work for me instead of against me, and they are pawns in my plans. You however, do not work within those bonds, and so the loyalty of your slaves to you is not a benefit to me. Furthermore, your harem consists of slaves that I was grooming for important roles in my upcoming war, including Quatre Winner, who has supposed to rise from the ashes and reclaim the Winner dynasty for my purposes, Trowa Barton, who was showing promise as an assassin, and Duo Maxwell, who was going to be a leader for my berserker squad. Heero Yuy, who I originally sent to you, was a failed experiment, and yet you managed to bring him to full potential. Remarkable! And, of course, you're probably well aware of my plans for Wufei given his military genius and his family position. And now, all the loyalty and commitment I would have gotten for rescuing them has gone to you, and all I'll get for killing you is five little hellions on my hands. You've ruined them for me," he accused, but his tone remained neutral and amused, because that's how Treize was. Unstoppable in his own certainty that he was unstoppable.

"I won't help you," I told him, feigning a certainty I didn't feel. Was there any way to protect my slaves now? Would helping Treize keep them safe, or put them in more danger? And could I compromise my own morals enough to participate in this sham? Because I didn't honestly believe that the world created by the man responsible for Collar would be any better than the world before. But could it be much worse?

"I don't need your help," Treize said, pushing me over and settling down beside me, our legs pressing together. I could still smell the same aftershave on him, and it reminded me of hot nights in the desert, with just a tent and the moon over our naked bodies. I pushed the thought out of my mind.

"Then what do you want?" I asked, my voice little more than a whisper as I pulled my knees to my chest.

"Oh Milliardo," he sighed, and gently brushed a piece of hair behind my ear. "I had hoped you wouldn't get so upset. Isn't it better that you know me, that you know you can trust my word?" he asked, and I let my eyes closed. Was it better to know that I had been so close to the heart of this all along? That perhaps, in some way, I was responsible for this matter? If we had stayed together, would I have been able to turn him from this path? Or would he have pulled me down with him, as I feared he was doing now?

I jerked away from him, jumping up as I felt the anger return to me. "Just tell me what you want!" I snapped, even as he followed me, getting to his feet and trailing me to the other side of the room. Instead of coming to me, though, he went to the wineglasses, easily opening the bottle and pouring two glasses. He handed one to me, which I took despite myself and savored the bitter liquid. I would have liked something stronger, but it at least helped settle my stomach. Treize sipped his own, a small smile on his face, before eventually setting it aside.

"Let me offer you a deal; a bet, since you know I'm a gambler," he said, and his voice was so friendly that you'd never know he was talking about life and death.

"What bet?" I asked warily, because I knew that Treize always stacked the odds in his favor.

"If your slaves win Collar, I will let you remain as you are," he promised, and as much as he had changed, I still knew that his word was his bond. "Your contacts with Preventers will be gradually severed as you tell them that you have made no progress identifying the Owner. You and your slaves will remain in peace here at Collar under the same restrictions as Darus and Zephyr."

"You mean… while you take over the world?"

"Think of it as creating world peace," he coaxed, placing a hand on my shoulder, his body only inches from mine. "And, yes, you would be removed from all my political dealings."

"You know I won't stand idly by while you murder civilians."

"You're not a stupid man, Milliardo. You can see that you're caught in quicksand. If you struggle against it, you'll die. I'm offering you a rope. Tell me, would you really sacrifice, not only your life, but the lives of your slaves to stop me? To stop me when, from what you've seen so far, I might be the least corrupt ruler these people could hope for anyway? Could you do that?"

"I…" I answered, but my throat was suddenly dry, and I could barely contemplate his offer. "What if I lose?"

"Ah, now there's the interesting part," he said, his hand moving to my face, lifting my chin to meet his eyes. "You're so beautiful. Even now," he said, his voice barely a whisper as he stared fervently at me. "I thought you'd have grown less beautiful over time, but you age like wine. You've filled out, matured, and even now I can feel myself longing for you," he told me, and as he approached he backed me up against the arm of the couch. I leaned back and he pressed himself over me, his body dominating mine, shaping my body against his like the two had never been apart. "Is it really so surprising what I want for my prize?" he asked, and I stumbled over the arm of the couch, falling onto the cushions. Treize was on top of me then, and I could feel the heat of his body through his clothes, pressing me down. I could feel my erection twitch, but I was afraid of what he was offering. Afraid… that I would want it. "I want you," he continued, his face only inches from my own, "to keep as my own. My trophy. My pet."

"But…"

"You and I will watch the conquest from a towered chamber far away from the battles and bloodshed, where your only job will be to serve and pleasure me."

But the battles and bloodshed would be waged by the slaves, and he had already laid out his plans for mine. It was like throwing ice water over me, and I struggled to get away from him.

"No! I won't let you hurt my slaves!" I yelled, and started to struggle, but he only pinned me harder.

"Shh," he soothed. "They were in my plans, yes, but I've got thousands like them. I could let you keep them. If you behave, I could let them stay with you. I know how lonely you get when I'm away. They could keep you company."

And this was how Treize gambled; where both options would benefit him. But what other choice did I have? If my slaves won, I would be a slave to his whims, and if they lost I would be a slave to his body. But I had no doubt that Treize would use any means to convince me, even forcing my surrender if I refused. It was only because he wanted some semblance of willingness that he gave me the options in the first place. But, win or lose, I was still under his control.

"I'll play," I agreed breathlessly, and the smile he gave me belonged more to a wolf than a man. He captured my lips to celebrate, and it was more than I could take. I let go to the sensations, giving myself over to him fully.

There was still so much power in Treize's body, the same strength I remembered from before, when we had been warriors together. I wondered self-consciously if I had retained the same strength as well, but I doubted it. Treize had always been stronger, and I had become lazy and weak with age. How else could he have overtaken me so easily?

_-Edited for Content-_

"I shall see you at the games, then?" he said, heading for the door. "And soon after that, we will be seeing much more of each other," he promised, and then closed the door behind him.

Alone, naked, and sore, I reached for a couch cushion and pulled it to my chest, bringing my knees up and hugging it.

I buried my face in the pillow and sobbed.

186 Wufei

I waited anxiously for two hours for Zechs to return. The other slaves were worried as well, but they didn't know what the Owner was capable of.

"You're gonna get in trouble if you go running around," Quatre warned, pulling me away from the door. "The last person you want to humiliate Master in front of is the Owner," he said, but I couldn't shake the cold feeling in my gut. As soon as he was distracted, I hurried out the door. I think Heero might have covered for me, being just as worried as I was, but I couldn't be sure.

It wasn't unheard of for a slave to walk alone at Collar, but it wasn't ordinary. I hurried down the halls, trying to look unremarkable as I rushed past slaves, masters, and guards. I had been given greater freedom as the Owner's slave and that persona must had held, because no one approached me as I hurried back to the meeting room where I had left Zechs, hoping to find him there and unharmed.

The last thing I expected was to find him naked and asleep, curled up in the corner of the sofa, clutching a pillow to his chest. There were tearstains on his cheeks and I could smell the lingering scent of sex on him, but otherwise he appeared unharmed. I knelt before him, watching his chest rise and fall. Relief flooded me that he was alive, even as I worried about what his relationship with the Owner might be. Because this certainly wasn't the Owner's usual was of dealing with unruly masters.

His eyes fluttered and he roused, uncurling and sitting up. He rubbed his face blearily, and for a moment he seemed more innocent than I had seen him before, and more vulnerable. His eyes met mine as he became aware of his surroundings, and he could meet my gaze for only a moment before shame and embarrassment made him turn away.

"Are you alright?" I asked softly, knowing firsthand what a damaging lover the Owner could be.

"I'm fine," he replied, his voice soft and subdued. He grabbed one of the throw pillows form the arm of the couch and crassly used it to clean the fluids from his body, uncaring that the stains would probably ruin it. He moved around me to stand, as I was still kneeling on the floor, and went to fetch his clothes from where they had been tossed haphazardly on the floor. I stayed where I was, trying to control my temper.

It wasn't supposed to be like this. Zechs was strong and noble. The Owner was not supposed to be able to touch him, to influence him. The Owner was not supposed to be able to infect Zechs like he had infected everything else in my life. Like he had infected me.

"What happened?" I asked him, and my voice was quiet, but it rang throughout the room. Zechs paused in his dressing, but did not turn to me.

"Nothing happened," he said after a moment, and then continued to dress.

"Something happened," I snarled, "that much is obvious. I want to know what… and why."

"It's nothing for you to be concerned about," Zechs said, pulling his shirt over his head and trying too hard to keep his voice nonchalant, but I could tell his temper was rising as well. "Why can't you ever trust my judgment?"

"Because you do not trust me as well!" I snapped. "How do you expect me to trust you when you give me nothing but lies and deceit?"

"I have never done anything to harm you or the others! I have nothing but your wellbeing in mind!"

"I'm not a dog, damn you!" I said, rising to meet him face to face. "You don't get to make these decisions without me, without consulting me! You're no better than him!"

The slap was sharp and quick, and it hurt more than it actually damaged. Still, I found my fingers reaching up to my cheek to cup the stinging flesh. My eyes went to Zechs', and from the look on his face you would have thought that I'd slapped him. But the anger still burned through me, and I couldn't forgive him.

"Fine," I hissed, backing away from him. "Stay and spread your legs for him like a common whore! At least he never fucked me willingly!"

And then I ran, because the room was suffocating me.

And because I could no longer stand the sight of the man I loved but no longer trusted.

There weren't many places for me to go. It was dangerous for slaves to travel alone through Collar. We were property, meat, and anyone could, and often did, take liberties with us. I could not stand to return to Zechs' rooms and face the stares and inquiries of the other slaves, let alone Zechs when he returned. But Collar had been my home for many years, and as unsettled as I was, I found myself drawn to the familiarity of the rooms I had previously occupied.

The doors to the Owner's quarters still unlocked to my fingerprints. My things, a small cot and a mattress, a dresser with a change of clothes, and dulled sword, were still residing there. I didn't dare wonder if it was because the Owner assumed that Zechs would fail… or if he believed I would be returning anyway.

I took my sword, the first one I'd been given when the Owner had allowed me to train again, after he felt that I'd pleased him sexually enough and he looked for another way to make me entertaining. I let my hands find the grooves worn into the hilt. It was so familiar, that I found my feet heading for the sparing room before it even occurred to me to train.

The motions came to me without any effort or thought of my own. Movements turned into sets, sets turned into repetitions, and still the energy would not flow from me. I channeled what I could into my sword and battled as though I were fighting a demon, but just as in real life the demon lacked form and shape, and all my skill was wasted battling wind and shadows.

And then, as if my frustration had called it forward, the demon appeared.

"You're far too skilled now for solitary practice to satisfy you," he murmured, stalking into the training room like a big cat, his feet barely making a sound across the floor. I could feel his presence though, having had so much time to accustom myself to his ways. It was hard to fathom that we had been together for years, more years than I cared to count. And now I wondered if I would ever be free of him.

"Then, by all means, appease me," I mocked, falling into a fighting stance. The Owner merely grinned, showing too many of his teeth and looking more threatening than attractive, and picked up a practice sword.

"Your skills have improved, but your attitude is just as fiery as ever, dragon," he taunted, immediately picking up the attack. I fell back a step as his sword struck mine, and I could feel the force of the hit travel up my arm and to my shoulder. The brute strength of the Owner had always been one of his best assets, but it was certainly not the only reason for his skill.

I parried his attack, but he was quick and brought the sword back down before I had managed to fully recover, and I lost another step. I tried to advance, but he let loose a barrage of attacks that I simply couldn't meet for ferocity. Each strike was just as powerful as the next, each hitting with precision and force. As I struggled to hold my own against the stronger foe, I felt the strength drain from me. It was like fighting a lion. With the pure strength of an animal, the Owner wielded his sword like a natural part of his body. Like a lion with its claws.

I was quickly backed against a wall. I dodged to the side, but my heart wasn't in it. If Zechs couldn't beat him, what chance did I have?

The Owner's sword was suddenly at my throat, and I ceased my retreat to avoid running into it. His blade was dulled, but not so much that it couldn't cut me if I pressed it too hard. My sword was ripped from my hands and tossed to the floor, soon to be followed by the Owner's as he slammed me against the wall and claimed my mouth in a bruising kiss that made my stomach churn. As his hand descended and reached for my pants, I pulled away.

"I don't…" I whispered, swallowing hard as my mouth dried out. "I don't belong to you anymore. As per your agreement…"

The Owner merely threw his head back and laughed.

"I own everyone, Wufei," he said, grinning and unperturbed by my protests_-Edited for Content-_

"You can't do this," I denied, and just barely managed to keep the sound of pleading out of my voice.

"I can do anything, and anyone, I want," he corrected, and his inflection making it clear that we weren't just talking about me.

_-Edited for Content-_

He was so handsome, I realized as I stared up at him. Tears sprung to my eyes, but I held them back. Was that why Zechs had chosen him? His body was that of an Adonis, that much was undeniable. Fit and trim in all the right places, with a natural golden color, sleek auburn hair and dark, smoldering eyes that made even the most prized slaves pale in comparison. Only Zechs could stand beside him in matters of beauty, with his long blonde locks and bright, blue eyes. They complimented each other perfectly. Even I could see it.

Was that why?

Was that why…

Was that why Zechs had chosen him… over me?

I sobbed then, and the moment was lost. The Owner leaned down and kissed me, swallowing any more sounds I might have made.

_-Edited for Content-_

"Did you expect your lover to come for you?" he asked me softly, his face pressed close to my ear. My heart fluttered for a moment before I realized that it was already too late, and that even if he arrived there was no guarantee that he could do something. And, besides that, Zechs didn't even know where I was. It was my own foolishness that had gotten me into this, after all.

"It seemed more likely he would come for you!" I snarled back, feeling red hot anger rise in me at the mention of Zechs. The Owner merely chuckled, the movement sending vibrations through my body.

"Do you trust him?" he asked me, slowly and deliberately, as he sat back and began to pull out of me. "Do you love him?" he asked as he pushed back in.

"A slave has no need for those kinds of feelings," I returned, but I couldn't deny that I had them.

"You would do well not to trust him," the Owner advised. I held my tongue, though, knowing there was only so much disrespect the Owner would take before lashing out.

"No master is worthy of my trust," I told him, but I could feel my heart disagreeing even as I said it. My heart longed to trust Zechs, and I know the Owner could hear the lie in my voice even as he began fucking me in earnest.

"You seem very attached to him, and to his slaves. If I did not know better, I'd think you'd fallen for him," the Owner said, and his voice teased while I could hear the seriousness underneath.

"I would be a fool to have feelings for someone with so much power over me," I told him. It was an old argument, and one that had probably prompted the Owner to keep me as long as I had. He had often asked if I loved him, and my response was always that I would be a fool to love someone with so much power over me. That I could only ever love an equal, and anything else was a foolish illusion of love. Sometimes I think the Owner's jealousy and his inability to make me adore him were the only things that saved me from being broken and killed by him.

"Perhaps you are a fool then," he teased again, and once again there was a solemn undertone.

"Perhaps I am," I admitted softly, knowing that I should not have.

"Did you know he killed his slave?" he asked me, his voice thick and smooth as he leaned over me, and I could feel his jealousy as a palpable thing. "The little one, with the dark hair?"

It is testament to how much this shocked me that I started, almost cracking my head against the Owner's.

"No!" I denied desperately.

"You question my honesty?" the Owner asked dangerously, his grip tightening painfully. I had learned not to question his word, for he never lied. Deceived, maybe, but never outright lied.

"I… No," I said, retreating. "However, there were extenuating circumstances. The boy had attacked one of Master Zechs' collar slaves. Perhaps… Perhaps he attacked again, and Master Zechs was forced to subdue him," I blurted, desperate for an answer. For any answer.

"That slave didn't have a bruise on him," the Owner said, grinding his rigid hardness deeper inside me. "Except for the mark where your precious master broke his neck."

"He… that slave… he injured another slave…"

"Yes, one of Zechs' prized Collar slaves. Tell me, Wufei, why do you think he's so protective of his competing slaves?" he asked me. "Why do you think he's in such a rush to be a Collar champion?"

"I don't know," I admitted, and the Owner began thrusting again.

"I think he's working for someone," the Owner told me, and I froze, but he only laughed. "What? Certainly you didn't think I didn't know? I know everything that happens here," he boasted, but it wasn't far from the truth. "I think he's working for someone that wants to take Collar away from me," he said, giving me a savage thrust, as though he could punish me for Zechs' actions. "I think he needs to win Collar to gain information, which he will then send to whomever is paying him. And I think once he wins Collar, he'll abandon you. And you, and all your new little friends, will be up for grabs by any sick pervert who wants you."

"What do you want from me?" I asked helplessly.

"Lose," he said, and it was voiced with the kind of satisfaction that might come from someone who had already won. "Lose the Collar games for him, and I will purchase and protect each and every one of his slaves. They can be your companions, and I will promise you that they will live the lives of pleasure slaves, in luxury and ecstasy."

"I cannot betray him!" I shouted, the thought was so absurdly abhorrent to me.

"If you win for him, I will wait until he tires of you and the others, and then I will purchase them myself and you will watch as they are fucked to death."

And with his last threat echoing still in my ears, the Owner took his leave of me.

187 Heero

It was fairly obvious that something had happened to Zechs while he had been gone, but what had happened was a complete mystery to the four of us who had been left behind. Wufei had told us that Zechs had met with the Owner. Despite the secretiveness of the Owner, this did not immediately concern me, because he could have merely been discussing Wufei's transferal of ownership. Wufei, however, had been nearly panicked, and had seemed worried enough that I had distracted Quatre long enough for him to rush out after Master.

When Zechs returned without him, however, I began to regret my decision. At first, Zechs hadn't seemed worried about Wufei being gone. It had been obvious that Zechs had engaged in sex while out, but that hadn't put him in a better mood, and he stormed past the rest of us and headed directly to the shower, where he stayed for nearly an hour. I was waiting when he got out, and was surprised to see tell-tale bruises on his thighs, revealing that he had not been the dominant partner in the most recent coupling. That ruled out Wufei as his partner, and I wondered but did not ask about who his partner had been.

"Aspirin?" I asked as he dried off. He nodded gratefully and took the pills, giving me a quick kiss after he downed them.

"Will you wake me in an hour?" he asked, slipping naked into the bed. It wasn't unusual for master to take a nap when he had a migraine, and I nodded before flipping off the light. "Let me know if Wufei comes in."

I nodded again before padding out of the room and wondering where Wufei was, and why Zechs was so unconcerned about his absence.

But when Wufei did not return before I woke him, Master began to worry. We cautioned him not to report Wufei missing, because that would lead to a humiliating manhunt and could get Master in trouble. As the evening wore on, his worry became almost frantic, and we found him pacing by the door for nearly an hour before Wufei returned.

It was late in the evening when Wufei finally returned, and Master was already highly agitated. So when Wufei returned in disheveled clothes, with his hair a mess and his lips swollen and bruised, it was obvious that someone had fucked him. The dark bruise on the side of his face attested that it had not been willingly. His face was ashen, and he looked more tired than I had seen him before, with deep circles outlining his eyes.

"What the fuck happened?" Zechs snarled, halting in his pacing and coming to stand in front of Wufei. But where Master usually would have rushed up to his slave and begun assessing injuries, this time he kept his distance. Wufei gave him a smoldering glare and shut the door firmly behind him before replying.

"What do you care?" Wufei asked, and the malice dripping from his voice was more than I had heard from him, even when he had first come to us.

I was surprised to see Zechs fall back a step in the face of Wufei's anger, because usually our emotions had little effect in the face of his calm detachment. This time, though, it was easy to see that Wufei had upset him, and as much as I had expected Zechs to push the issue and asses Wufei's injuries, he turned instead and fled to the bedroom, slamming the door behind him.

It took a moment for the rest of us to accept that Zechs was not coming back out. Wufei stared at the closed door for several minutes before limping over to the couch, and it wasn't until he moved that the rest of us were released from our paralysis. Duo scooted over to give Wufei room to sit beside him, turning off his video game in favor of helping Wufei sit down. Trowa went quickly to the icebox and got a cold pack for Wufei's face, while Quatre bent and unlaced his shoes. It was a testament to how tired he was that he didn't even complain about our coddling or try to help Quatre with his shoes. He simply let Duo draw him over and laid his face against Duo's shoulder, wearily shutting his eyes.

"Are you injured?" I asked softly, brushing his hair away from his face as Trowa gently laid the icepack against his cheek. He shook his head, not even bothering to open his eyes.

"Who the hell got to you this bad?" Duo asked, holding the ice against Wufei's cheek, since Wufei had made no move to do so. Trowa knelt beside Quatre at Wufei's feet, and I perched on the arm of the couch.

"Owner," Wufei said softly after a long moment, and I was relieved at least that it had only been one man, and it was someone that Wufei knew. It wasn't unheard of for groups of guards to target lone slaves.

"You shouldn't have run off like that," Quatre told him, shooting me a dirty look. I guess I hadn't been as subtle as I thought.

"Don't lecture me," Wufei growled, but it lacked venom. He was too exhausted to get angry.

"Don't be cross. We were worried, Wufei," Quatre said, laying a hand on Wufei's knee. "We care about you."

And it seemed like more than Wufei could take, because his jaws clenched until the muscles stood out, and he closed his eyes once again. When he opened them, there were tears on his lashes, but a fresh determination had appeared.

"I won't let anything happen to any of you. I swear it."

And then he turned away, and would tell us nothing else.

Eventually, Duo managed to convince him to take a shower, and it was easy see how upset Wufei was that he didn't even complain when Duo followed him in and helped him wash. As the shower in the slave quarters turned on, I saw Master's door hesitantly open. While Trowa and Quatre were occupied, I padded over to the ajar door.

"Is Wufei alright?" Zechs asked as I approached, opening the door wider when he saw Wufei was nowhere around. Zechs looked just as upset as he had before Wufei came home, and I could see that his headache had returned.

"He's a little shaken, but he'll be alright. He's showering with Duo, if you want me to fetch him."

"No," Zechs said too quickly, "it's fine. I think… I think Wufei and I might need some time apart. I'm going to go to sleep. Please wake me tomorrow morning an hour before we need to leave."

And then he retreated again, pulling back into the secluded darkness of his room and pulling the door so that it was almost shut, even though he usually left it wide open.

I was conflicted, because part of me wanted to comfort Master, while another part was too concerned about Wufei to rest. So I returned to the livingroom and sent Quatre and Trowa to sleep with Zechs, and hopefully bring him a little comfort, while I went back to the bathroom to check on Duo and Wufei.

It seemed that the docility Wufei had showed going into the bath had not faded, and he was sitting naked on the toilet while Duo toweled his hair dry. His body was covered in small bruises, but none of them looked deep enough to affect his performance. Still, his change in attitude was unnerving.

"Here," Duo said and tossed me a hairbrush. "Can you get the knots for him while I put my braid back in?" he asked, and then settled in front of a mirror before I had time to answer. It made Wufei quirk his lips, and I was glad to see signs that the change wasn't permanent.

"I can do that," Wufei protested quietly as I stepped in front of him.

"I know," I said, then pressed his shoulder to turn him around and began brushing his hair anyway. With a sigh, Wufei leaned against the back of the toilet and let me work. It was as close as I could come to verbally admitting that I was worried about him, and I knew he would understand. I had become skilled at this from all the time I spent with Duo, and I could only hope it would relax Wufei like it did Duo. Whether from the relaxing sensation of me brushing his hair or simply from exhaustion, Wufei began to nod off to sleep. By the time Duo and I had finished, we had to practically lift Wufei and carry him into the bedroom.

There was no hesitation in bringing Wufei into our bed. With his fight with Master, I knew Wufei would not venture into Zechs room. And while it would be a bit tight putting all of us in the one bed, there was plenty of room if we slept close together. I helped Wufei in first, putting him in closest to the wall, then slid in the middle while Duo slid in at my back. Wufei was just barely awake now, and didn't protest as I pulled him into my arms, letting him lay his head on my shoulder.

"Thank you," he whispered, and I could tell he wanted to say more but didn't have the words.

"We're always here for you," I told him softly. Duo, who was pressed against my back, leaned over and gave Wufei's shoulder a squeeze.

"We'd do anything for you, buddy."

"I wish you would tell us what's going on," I asked after a moment, my curiosity getting the best of me. Wufei simply shook his head. "You can trust us. We'll help," I pressed, feeling helpless.

"No," Wufei said firmly, turning to lie on his back. "This burden is mine to bear alone."

I sighed in frustration, but decided not to press the issue.

"You and Zechs. You're so alike. You never trust the rest of us to help."

Wufei flinched at that, and I wondered about his reaction. Surely it wasn't that insulting?

"Perhaps we are both idiots trying to do what we think is best," he said softly. "Maybe we're doomed to repeat the same mistakes."

And with that he turned his back to me and went to sleep.

Duo and I shared a look, both of us feeling the foreboding that Wufe's words brought.

And then we laid down to sleep, knowing that the next day would be the start of the Collar games.

188 Heero

Despite several first places, the overall win came down to the dancing event. Part of it was that our team did not participate in several of the events and took a zero for the missed events, part of it was the way Collar was scored, and part of it was the fact that the events our team actually placed very low in several of the events.

Wufei, in particular, was having a bad week, most likely in part to his fight with Master. I could tell that whatever their issues were, they weighed heavily on Wufei's mind. And even though he and Master put on a good front during the week of Collar, we all knew that things were still not right between them. Wufei had excelled in his fencing match and his history debate, I think because those events allowed him to spend the pent-up aggression he had been harboring all week, but he had done abysmal in the poetry competition, probably because his mind had not been calm.

Master had chosen to keep Wufei in the chess competition, even though Wufei protested that Quatre would be a much better choice, and despite having won the chess tournament easily for the past several years, Wufei was taken out in his third match. It was difficult to tell if this was merely because his mind was not in the game or as an underhanded "fuck you" to Master. I think Master suspected both, but said nothing.

Still, the choice of Wufei was a blow to Quatre's confidence, and he was so nervous in his first event that he passed out while cooking on the gas range, spilling his flambé all over the floor and burning his left hand. The resulting breakdown took Trowa and Master all night to contain, with constant praise and reassurances, and cost Trowa the gun competition the next day, pulling in a seventh place and his worst time for disassembly and reassembly since he'd started practicing.

So in the end, by force or by fate, the win or lose came down to Wufei in the dance competition, the one competition in Collar that he had never won.

This did not improve things between Master and Wufei. Although they had returned to sleeping in the same bed, there was still a distance between them. They no longer debated or bickered, and Master no longer turned to Wufei for second opinions. Instead, more often than not, I found myself being Master's shadow, much to Duo's annoyance. Duo didn't take any infringement on our time together well, and even less so when it was by Master, but I placated him by telling him it would only be for a few more days. Still, as the final Collar competition neared, I had to wonder if that were true, or if this would be a permanent rift between Master and Wufei. I hoped not. As much as I was enjoying the added time with Master, I could see that the strain wore heavily on both of them. So when Master asked that I accompany him as he went to speak with Wufei just before the match, I was optimistic as I stood just inside the door to the private preparation room Wufei used and listened to their conversation. It did not begin as I had hoped.

"I know you threw the chess competition because you were angry I didn't give it to Quatre," Master said evenly, and I rolled my eyes. Even I knew that accusations would get you nowhere with Wufei. "However, I bear you no ill-will for the action. I understand that you are less than pleased with my behavior as of late."

Wufei laughed, in the tone that makes you think that you're simply too idiotic to talk to.

"Thank you for that rousing boast of confidence," he quipped, making a good front of nonchalance as he finished putting on his costume. He was in his customary block cloth pants, and had on a heavy, decorative coat with a high collar. It was a testament to how un-nonchalant he was, that he had done the last buttons on the collar wrong, and had not even noticed. "But, if you'll excuse me, I have a competition I need to attend to."

It was like this all the time now, and I had to withhold the urge to sigh at them. If not ignoring one another, they were snipping and accusing, dancing around whatever it was that the two of them were fighting about. It was taking a toll on all of us, but none more than the two of them. Zechs looked spent, like something had drained all the life out of him. There were dark shadows under his eyes, and he had lost weight during the week, barely bringing himself to pick at the food we forced on him. His hands shook when no one was looking, although he masked it well in the presence of other masters. He'd even gotten Duo to do his makeup, covering up the shadows under his eyes and adding some color to his cheeks. We all knew how dangerous it was for Master to look ill during the Collar competitions, and how much of a target we would all be if it looked like our master was losing control.

But he was. Whatever had happened between him and Wufei- whatever had caused this rift- was eating away at Master.

And Wufei was faring no better. The same deep shadows under his eyes match Master's, but where Master had gotten tired, Wufei had gotten angry. He'd thrown himself into training for his fighting competition, even after the competition had ended, and was rarely seen outside of meals. When he was forced to spend time with us, he was aloof, shutting himself down and refusing to interact with anyone. He'd even yelled at Quatre earlier when the boy had tried to get him to open up, and then was wracked with guilt when Quatre had started crying. Instead of apologizing, though, he'd fled, leaving a pissed-off Trowa to deal with the consequences. And that pretty much spoke of how it had been this past week; Wufei would snap and then run away, never letting any of us get close enough to help.

My musing was broken when Wufei tired of their staring match, attempting to shoulder past Zechs in an effort to leave the room, but Zechs grabbed his elbow and spun him around before he could make it past.

"Please," Zechs said, and there was a level of desperation in his voice that I did not understand, taking Wufei by the shoulders. "I need you to win this event for me. I know you can do it."

"Tell me why you need it so badly," Wufei growled, and it was once again one of those conversations about whatever was between them. The curiosity over what had happened was eating Duo and Quatre alive, but I just wanted them to get over the whole thing.

"Wufei… I can't…" Zechs stuttered, and he looked so tired again. I wished that Duo or Quatre had come. Quatre would be able to make sense of what they weren't saying, and Duo would simply demand to know what was going on. One of them would have at least been able to do more than stand in the corner, acting like it didn't hurt to see two men so in love hurting each other so badly. Watching them fight and struggle and grow apart… was killing me as well.

Because if Zechs and Wufei couldn't make it, with all their strength and passion, what chance did Duo and I have, with all my faults and his insecurities? What chance did any of us have.

"Tell me what happened to Sith," Wufei snarled, and Zechs fell back a step, his face going white. It was a turning point in the argument; that much I could tell. Something new that Zechs had not anticipated, and from the deepening frown on Wufei's face Zechs' reaction had said as much as Wufei needed to know.

His mouth forming into a hard line, Master turned and fled.

I sighed, wishing once again that there was someone here better equipped to deal with emotional problems. However, since I was the only one present, I bit the bullet and approached Wufei, who was tense and agitated.

"What do you want?" he growled as I approached him, even falling back a step as I neared and reached out to him. I did not react, however, and he relaxed when I began to unbutton his jacket. I saw him blush when he noticed how many of the buttons were mismatched.

"I can do that," he protested softly.

"Apparently not," I said, and it was meant to be teasing but he bristled.

"That bastard… Who does he think he is?" Wufei growled, but his eyes suddenly looked sad instead of angry, and I saw them drift longingly to the door Master had just exited through. It was simple enough to tell that Wufei was missing him desperately.

"Why don't you just make up with him?" I asked, beginning to put the buttons back in the proper holes.

"Because I'm not wrong here," he said, and his conviction burned through the longing I had just seen there, leaving not a trace in its wake.

"Whatever he's done, you know it's because he cares about you. Because he wants to protect you."

"I do not want to be protected! I can protect myself!" he snarled, and I raised my eyes to meet his. They were filled with fire and righteousness, and I knew I shouldn't even bother trying to dissuade him from this. Knew I shouldn't, but couldn't help but try.

"Maybe Zechs needs to try to protect you?" I offered, keeping my tone unaggressive so that this would not turn into a fight.

"He doesn't have that right. I am not his pet or his child. I never agreed to this!"

"I didn't know love came with a contract," I quipped before I could help myself. I must have been hanging around Duo too much, because my mouth was starting to work on its own. Wufei merely glared at me and I sighed as I quickly finished his buttons. "Whatever's going on between you two, you have to put it behind you. I don't know what could cause you two to grow apart like this, but I know that it cannot break you apart. You are both so strong, and so in love."

But I could tell that my words had not reached him. Instead, he looked at me and said, "Sometimes love is just not enough," before fleeing backstage.

I'd like to say that Wufei put his whole heart into his dance routine. I'd like to tell you that Master and I watched on the edge of our seats from his private box, surrounded by the other slaves. I'd even like to tell you that Wufei put his whole heart into the performance, and it simply wasn't enough.

But Wufei's heart was somewhere else entirely. His dance was almost flawless, from a technical standpoint. His movements were controlled and precise, never a second too late or early. But there was no passion in him, and it was like watching a machine move. His dance inspired nothing from the audience watching it, and in the last moments his ankle gave he took a massive fall… but I don't know if he would have won even before that.

Master was pale when the performance ended, his hands shaking as though he would faint again. I had hoped that, even though we had failed, Master would be relieved that the competition was over. Instead, he seemed terrified. He rose before the applause had even ended and motioned for the rest of us to stand as well.

"Heero, can you take everyone back to the room? I have something important I must attend to."

"Should one of us accompany you?" I asked. Wufei had just left the stage and would be a few more minutes changing, and it was odd for a master to walk Collar without a slave to attend him.

"No," Master said hastily, trying to usher myself and the others toward the door. However, when he opened it, we found the way blocked by a large and rather intimidating guard. His face was cold and expressionless, showing just a bit of disdain, and his jacket showed the insignia for the Owner's personal service.

"The Owner has requested the presence of Master Zechs immediately," the guard said.

"O-of course," Zechs said, and did not seem nearly as surprised as I had expected. It sent alarm bells blaring through my head. "Just let me return my slaves to their quarters."

The guard's glare darkened.

"The Owner will not be kept waiting," he growled, then took Zechs' arm in a rough hold, pulling him toward the door.

"What the fuck?" Duo snarled, his temper snapping at what he saw as an assault to one of his own. "Fuck off, asshole!" he yelled, and then threw his shoulder into the guard, knocking the larger man off balance. It only lasted for a moment, though, and when the larger man recovered he immediately retaliated, throwing a fist into Duo's chest that knocked the smaller boy across the room. Quatre screamed, and I saw a blur of movement as Trowa moved to intercept, catching Duo around the middle before the force of the shove knocked them both to the floor. Zechs yelled something indecipherable and attempted to push the guard off, but the guard delivered a rough backhand to Zechs' face that left a trail of blood running down Master's chin.

The background noise dimmed suddenly as I turned toward the guard holding Master's arm in a bruising grip. I assessed him immediately and found that, while somewhat trained, he was used to intimidating rather than fighting, so he was slow and his guard was down. It was a simple thing to slip in while he was distracted by Duo's loud cursing and deliver a punishing hit to his solar plexus, throwing him backwards and forcing him to release his grip on Master's arm. I followed his fall, pulling back to finish incapacitating him with a blow to the face.

"Heero, don't!" Zechs yelled, and it kept me from smashing my fist into the guard's chin, but only by a hair's breadth. Unfortunately, it also gave the guard time to recover, and he took advantage of my hesitation by bringing up one of his heavy boots to smash into the side of my face. I fell back, and the others surrounded me, helping me up and just as ready to rip the man limb from limb.

"Everybody stop!" Zechs shouted, causing all of us to still instantly. "Now I need you all to go back to the room and wait for me, is that clear?" He snarled at us, wiping the blood from his face with the back of his hand. "Don't make a riot out of it," he cautioned, and then turned and shoved the guard toward the door. "If it's so important that I see the Owner this fucking instant, quit picking on my slaves and let's go," he growled. The guard sneered, and I could see him contemplate coming after us again, but thought better of it and led Zechs away.

Leaving the four of us watching the empty doorway and wondering just what the hell had happened.

"Master?" Quatre whimpered, then made to go after him before Trowa intercepted, catching him around the waist and pulling him back.

"What the fuck just happened?" Duo growled, but he was panting and his eyes were dilated, so I could tell that he was just as frightened as the rest of us.

"Should we return to the room?" Trowa asked, still clutching Quatre to his chest.

"Fuck that!" Duo snarled. "We need to go after them and find out what the hell is going on!"

"We can't directly disobey Master and humiliate him in front of the Owner. It would be disastrous."

"Well we can't just sit on our hands and fucking wait! Who knows what that asshole is gonna do to him!"

"We need to know what the Owner is planning, and there's only one person who knows him well enough to tell us what's going on."

Duo nodded seriously, calming now that we had a plan.

"We need Wufei."

189 Zechs

Could it have ever ended any other way?

I wondered that to myself, following the brawny, ill-tempered guard down now-familiar halls to Treize's quarters. My heart was pounding and I knew I should be coming up with some sort of plan – any sort of plan – but my mind was simply blank.

Numb.

Because in the end, I had lost. The previous year had been a gamble, and I had thought I had held all the cards. But in the end, all the aces had been under the table, in Treize's hand. I should have known when he raised the ante that he was going to win, but I'd simply clung tighter to my hand.

I should have run from the proverbial table. Should have taken my boys and fled, hid somewhere that Treize would never find us. Should have thrown my cards in his face and run for the hills.

Should have.

Could have.

Didn't.

And now… Now he held all the cards. Now I was powerless. Property. Was this how my boys felt? Like every corner held another monster waiting to attack? Like it was the fifth circle of hell, and you were never getting out? It made me sick to my stomach, thinking that they had endured years of this.

Thinking that my failure had condemned them to a lifetime more.

And I couldn't even blame Wufei, really, even though the sting of his betrayal was sharp. He'd never agreed to be my pawn – a card in my hand, if you will. Out of all of them, he'd been the most fiercely devoted, and my most precious ally. It wasn't his fault that he'd been too smart, too intuitive, for me to handle. It wasn't his fault he'd seen just enough to mistrust me, but not enough to gain his trust back.

But if I'd had to do it again, I knew I wouldn't change that. Especially now that I had lost.

Because I held information that Treize desperately wanted. Information that I would not give up easily, but that Treize would eventually take from me by force. I had kept my recent knowledge of the Preventer's operation slim, but there were things you could not help but learn when working for an organization as powerful as I was. Treize had acted quickly, and there was no way for me to pass the information to my superiors that I had been compromised. It would take time, but eventually Treize would wear me down, and would pull the information he needed from me. And this information could potentially be used to take down my organization.

It was possible that I alone would be responsible for the end of the world as we knew it. I had not been able to stop him from rising to power, and I might very well give him the tactical advantage he needed to gain power over the rest of the known world. I would resist as long as I could… but Treize was very good at what he did. Eventually, I would not be able to deny him. But at least I had the knowledge that he would not be able to torment any information out of my slaves. Treize could tell instinctively when a person was lying, and contrarily could also know when they were telling the truth. Once my slaves had proven they held no information of value to him, he would leave them be for the most part. It was very likely that he would not even interrogate them for long, focusing most of his energies on me instead.

"Don't look at me that way," I heard Treize say softly as we entered the room, and I tore my eyes away from him and attempted to school my face into something a little less… horrified.

I found myself in a lavish bedroom, with a large four-post bed and dim lighting. It was opulent, as I had come to expect from Treize, and he was dressed in a formal military uniform. I wasn't sure if that was for my benefit, or it was simply something that he had been wearing previously and he had not taken the time to change. Trieze had a taste for the dramatic; it wouldn't be unheard of for him to dress up merely to see my reaction.

"His slaves gave me a bit of trouble," the guard complained, and I felt heat rise to my face, tempered by just a hint of pride. Of course they gave you trouble, you moronic ass. Push my boys around and see what happens.

"You mean my newest acquisitions?" Treize said, and I felt myself deflate. Of course. They weren't my slaves any longer.

"Yeah, they went back to their rooms to wait for further instructions."

"Good. There's no rush, but dispatch another guard to collect them in a few hours. I've set up a holding area for them until we transfer them to my permanent rooms planet-side. You are dismissed," Treize said, waiving the guard away. The guard, who I had still not heard called by name, gave me one last parting sneer before exiting the rooms.

And then I was alone with my former lover, who I was beginning to think of as the devil.

"What are you going to do with them?" I found myself asking when we were alone. "My… The slaves."

"Hm? Oh, nothing really. They'll be safe enough, although I doubt they'll be pleased by their confinement."

"Will you… Can I see them?" I asked, and tried to keep my voice neutral, but I knew Treize would not be fooled. He simply stared at me for a moment, before eventually approaching me.

"No, I don't think so. Not at first. I did promise to let you keep them, which I will, in some respects, but you are too close to them. I have little interest in sharing your affections, and they take up far too much of your interest. I will keep you apart from them, while you adapt to your new circumstances, and once I am pleased with your progress I will allow you to return to them."

A part of me knew that it was a ploy to gain my cooperation. Hell, he'd pretty much come out and said it. But a deeper part was devastated by the idea of going – how long? – without seeing my boys. And the thought of them in Treize's hands, surrounded by guards like the one that had come today, was even worse.

"You said you would keep them safe," I reminded, and it was only desperation that made me do that. I knew I was pushing my luck with him.

"My, you are high maintenance, aren't you?" he chuckled, reaching out to tuck my hair behind my ear. I let him, neither encouraging nor shying away from the causal touch. It wouldn't have really mattered, anyway. "Your precious slaves will be safe enough. I will not let anyone harm them unnecessarily, and I will provide adequate food and shelter, but it seems that your boys have become quit willful. I might need to instill some discipline in them before they can be trusted in your presence again."

So that was the game. He would keep them away from me, and punish them as he saw fit, and I was powerless to stop it.

"Please," I found myself begging him, moving close enough that I could feel the heat of his body, but I could not meet his eyes. "I just want them safe and happy."

He took my chin in his hand, tilting my face to meet his eyes.

"I know you do, and I will give you ways to do that. I know how loyal you can be, when you want to be. I will give you plenty of opportunities to protect them," he promised, and I couldn't bring myself to take any comfort in those words.

"And me?" I asked, giving in to the desire to know what was in store for me now that I knew my slaves would not be harmed, at least for now. "What are you going to do with me?"

Treize laughed and pulled me into his embrace.

"You act as if I'm going to eat you, little pet," he soothed, pushing my hair out of my face. "I have no interest in hurting you, nor do I want to harm your little concubines. What I want is for you to stop struggling against me and adjust to your new life here at my side. And to know that you have committed yourself to that, I need you to tell me who your Preventers contact is. I need you to feed them bad information for a little while, to throw them off my trail and to keep them from finding any more of my warehouses. In a few months, the technology for my army will be ready and I'll be able to eliminate them- but until them, I need you to buy me some time."

"Why?" I asked desperately, leaning my head against his shoulder, not daring to pull away as anger surged inside of me. "Why must you do this? Why must you make an entire world of this… this hell you've created here."

"Oh Milliardo," Treize sighed, pressing a kiss to my forehead. "You can be so naïve, can't you? Do you think any of this is new, love? Do you think anything that happens here doesn't happen everywhere else? You can be so blind sometimes, and it's only because I love your innocence that I don't get aggravated by your blindness," he said, then pulled back to look into my eyes. "But let me disillusion you just a bit- These men that are here? Almost all of them are old money, from families that have been rich and powerful almost as long as- well, almost as long as yours," he said, and there was a hint of disapproval. I knew that he still blamed our breakup on our uneven status, and even though that hadn't been the reason I had left him before, I didn't dare disillusion him. His obsession with power and status had grown so intense since I had left him that I feared a violent reaction if I told him he had simply scared me off. "These men have grown up being taught that they have the power to do whatever they want. They have known power all their lives- the power to get whatever they want. They rig elections, they plant evidence, they give the press stories, and they always, always get what they want without retribution. Even now, the only reason they are here is because each and every one of them is absolutely certain that they will never be brought to justice for what they're doing. I want to change that. I want to redistribute the power."

I startled myself by laughing.

"So this is- what? Socialism? You've done all this – killed all these people – in the name of equality?" I scorned, but I knew Treize could hear the trace of panic in my voice.

"Not socialism. Nothing so idealistic. No, what I want is monarchy in the purist form of the word. I want all the power. I will decide who is guilty an innocent. I will decide what is right and wrong. I will decide how to mold society. Everything will be done to my will," he said, and I was so horrified that I couldn't even come up with a reply, and for several minutes the only sound I could hear was the pounding of my own heart. "And you, darling, will be my crown jewel, kneeling before my throne as I rule over earth and space. You will be radiant and untouchable to everyone except me. And I will let you help me make this dream a reality. Help me take down Preventers, and I will keep you and your boys safe forever. They can live out their lives in the lap of luxury with you," he promised. But how could I trade the world for the lives of five boys?

I couldn't meet his eyes, and suddenly his grip on my arms tightened. I looked up to find him frowning. "Don't oppose me, Milliardo. I don't want to harm you, but I can be very… unpleasant if I am displeased."

"Treize…"

The slap came, sharp and unexpected, making me fall back a step. It turned my head and I held it there, letting the pain flow through me, getting it ready for what was to come.

"You know better than to call me that, now," he said gently. His voice was one of the ones that made you quieter when he spoke softly, because you knew better than not to listen. "Once, we could have been equals. But you were too good for me, and now we find our positions reversed. But I won't leave you," he promised, laying his hand over my bruised cheek and running his thumb across my lips. His other hand encircled my wrist and pulled me close again, until we were chest to chest. "I can keep you, protect you, love you. All you have to do is help me."

"I don't know anything," I protested, and suddenly his grip on my wrist became painful and I winced.

"Don't lie to me," he growled, and the threat of violence was there, but I had known that it was coming.

"I have nothing to tell you," I said, and it was closer to the truth, but Treize was not appeased.

"Why don't you ever take my side?" he asked, and I could almost see the old wounds opening. "Why must you always assume that you know better, that I am doing the wrong thing? Even now, when you haven't even the right to change your own clothes, still you struggle against me." Treize was in a temper now, and as passionate as his love could be, I knew his anger could be cruel. "Perhaps I was too kind to you," he said, staring into my eyes like he was trying to read the information there. "Perhaps I have promised too much, and exerted my power too little. I think it is time for a demonstration of just how unkind I can be."

His hands came up to my collar then and began undoing the buttons. I let him, knowing that resistance would only make things worse. It was hard, in a way, to stay still and let him do these things to me, knowing that he would hurt me. It would have been easier to fight him until there was no strength left in my body, and then fade into oblivion. But Treize was not honorable, and I knew that he would use other methods on me if I chose that route. Methods that could easily include tormenting my slaves, and I simply couldn't allow that.

The shirt came off and Treize folded it neatly, setting it aside. I had expected him to go for my pants next, but he didn't. Instead, he led me to the center of the room. The shackles came down from the ceiling, nearly hidden by the ornate ceiling. I held my hands up, and he snapped them neatly around my wrists. I gave an experimental pull, but I had little hope of freeing myself. Beneath the appearance of wood in the lavish room, the shackles would be anchored by the gundanium girders of the ship. Funny, how steel was so prevalent in the ship, and yet almost all the members of Collar preferred the fake look of old-fashioned wood.

"I don't like hurting you," Treize admitted. "I know that there will be a period of… adjustment, while you reconcile yourself to your new situation. However, I am hoping you will make it easier on yourself. Tonight, I will give you ten lashes, and I will not ask you anything else. Think about how lenient I am being tonight, because tomorrow I will not be as merciful."

The first strike came then, and I hissed with the sting of it. It would leave a welt, but there would be no permanent damage. Treize was using a riding crop, a slim black rod covered in leather. It was meant to hurt instead of harm, and Treize used it well, expertly placing strikes across my back that made me wince and pull in my restraints. But I knew Treize wasn't hitting me as hard as he could. I knew Treize could lay me open with the crop, knew he could rend flesh with the tool he if truly felt like it. This wasn't about harming me, or even making me feel pain, really. It was about showing me just how powerless I was.

I sagged when he finished. There was a light sheen of sweat on my skin, and it made me shiver in the cool room. Treize put the crop aside and stepped in front of me, the heat radiating from his body as he stepped in and kissed me. I allowed it, but didn't participate.

"Come now, don't be petulant," he told me, taking my face in his hands. This time I kissed him back, unwilling to anger him and face another lashing. "After all, I've let you make us late, playing with you."

"Late?" I wondered and he smiled, releasing me from my shackles and helping me lower my arms.

"I know you wanted to attend the celebration dinner for Collar. I suppose you had thought to attend as a master instead of a slave, but you will be attending."

190 Zechs

I found myself naked, seated on the floor at Treize's feet. Around me were four other naked slaves, all younger and smaller. I felt ridiculous, but the humiliation was probably part of Treize's agenda for the night. I curled my legs under me, trying to discreetly cover my groin with my hands. One of the nearby slaves smirked, another hid a giggle behind his hand. I suppose seeing a Master brought so low was a novelty to the other slaves, but even though I expected it I still felt myself blushing. Treize leaned over and placed a hand on my cheek, turning my face to give me a lingering kiss.

"You're doing well," he whispered to me, but I could take no pleasure in his praise. If anything, it just made me feel worse. "Would you like some wine?"

I would have liked to say no. Would have like, actually, to say no, spit in his face, push the table over, find my slaves, and fly home. But I had been too nervous to eat this morning and hadn't been offered anything since then. I could feel a migraine building behind my eyes, and I knew it would only get worse if I didn't get something in my stomach.

"Yes," I said softly.

"Yes what?" he asked, swirling his wine glass.

"Yes… master," I replied, blushing furiously. He smiled and tilted my head back, bringing the glass to my lips. I suppose it would have been too much to ask for him to let me feed myself, given the amount of humiliation he'd put me through so far. I took a few sips before he pulled the glass away.

"He seems to have adjusted quite naturally to life as a slave," said an amused female voice above me.

"More likely he's simply returned to life at my side, as he was always intended to," Treize responded, placing his hand on my shoulder and pulling me against his leg.

"Bring him up here," commented an older male voice, "I think we'd all like to see the rewards of your efforts these past months. Between the surveillance and the manipulation, not to mention the risks to our security, you've got a pretty hefty investment in this one, haven't you?"

"Well worth it," Treize mused, pulling my hand until I rose gracefully beside him, letting my arms fall away and baring my body to the view of the other masters. There were three besides Treize, a middle-aged woman with striking red hair, an older man with a rugged build and a short-trimmed beard, and a slim, younger man with glasses.

"Older," the woman commented blandly, but I could feel her eyes roving over me appraisingly. My knees ached from where I had been kneeling on the floor, and I had to agree that I might be too old for this.

"Are you calling me old?" Treize laughed. "He's still younger than I am."

"There's something to be said for age and experience," commented the large man. "They tend to lack a bit in flexibility, but they can be far more reliable and stable than a young slave. Besides, one only has to look at that flawless pedigree to know that he's well worth the investment."

Treize nodded and signaled for me to return to the floor. I knelt as gracefully as I could manage as my knees protested once again, but I must have succeeded because Treize smiled down at me.

"He'll be providing us with intel, correct?" came the younger man's voice, ghosting over the table, but it immediately turned Treize's attention. "On the activities of the Preventers to stop us?"

"Of course," Treize replied casually. "He'll be as invaluable to us as a spy as he would have been to them as an infiltrator. But he'll need an adjustment period."

"Adjustment period?" the other man said, and I could hear the cynicism in his voice. "Meaning you've yet to get anything out of him."

"If I wanted to ruin him as a slave to get the information out of him, I could simply beat it out of him. I'm sure you would be of assistance there. However, if I want continued information along with a loyal slave, I'm going to have to use more finesse. You're inability to see long-term is one of the reasons I was so hesitant to bring you in as an advisor," Treize said, and I knew him well enough to read the veiled hostility under the impatience in his voice. Treize didn't like this man, though whether it was simply a personal dislike or whether this man posed a threat to him as the leader was unknown to me.

The door opened then, and a dark-haired man entered, followed by six slaves. I recognized him as a fellow competitor in the Collar games, and I realized that he must have been the one that defeated me. It was with no small amount of bitterness that I watched him claim his prize, standing before the other masters.

"And finally, Saiya and his team of competitors," the bearded master introduced. Saiya, who's name amplified the hint of oriental heritage around his eyes and in his skin tone, bowed as his slaves knelt on either side of him. He glanced at the table, his eyes stopping on me. I cast my eyes to the ground, feeling the shame burn in me even as I knew it would be trying my luck to hold the gaze of a master other than Treize. And while I welcomed his wrath toward me, I knew eventually it would land on others that I held dear.

"Can I suppose this would have been my fate had the Dragon not fallen in his last competition?" Saiya wondered apprehensively. Above me, Treize chuckled.

"The events that led to this slave kneeling at my feet were set in motion long before you were selected to win the competition. If Dragon had succeeded in his event, the outcome would have eventually been the same. The competition itself is little more than a playground for us to entertain the masses with."

It shouldn't have stung to be reminded that the game had been fixed. Actually, on more than on occasion I had contemplated that very fact myself when planning for my mission. Had I been blind in thinking they would bring me into the fold, much as they were now doing for my rival? In retrospect, it seemed that way.

"Congratulations, Saiya," Treize began smoothly, and I cast a glance up to see him smiling charmingly. "You are the first master to be brought into this circle in the three years since Tanion joined us," Treize said, inclining his head toward the master with glasses. "And I'm sure you've heard of Rebbekka and Argo, who have been with me since I became the head of this organization ten years ago. In these past few years, I have taken what was originally a small prostitution ring and made it an interplanetary force that now has ties on each of the colonies. As the head of the mars development program, you are here to insure that our reach continues to expand as humanity continues to move away from earth and toward that stars."

"And him?" Saiya questioned, glancing at me and still obviously ill at ease. Around him, his slaves were tense, the two largest seeming ready to jump to their master's aid. Did Saiya suspect he was to join the same fate as me? "Why is he here?"

"The slave beside me has been acting as an agent for a rival organization. He has been delivering information to them since his arrival, and had plans to assassinate me and disband this organization."

It took a moment of Saiya staring at me, but eventually he threw his head back and laughed. His slaves relaxed, and Saiya took a seat across from Treize, still chuckling.

"And what do they call you, Owner? Now that I have joined your circle of trust?" Saiya asked.

"I am Treize," he replied, and there was a smile of satisfaction on his face as he reached down and patted my head. Obviously, Saiya's reaction had pleased him, if only because it showed how much faith the masters had in Treize's control. "And this slave, who you might remember as a rival of yours, is to be called Platinum. I hope you can forgive any rivalry that may have passed between you. As you can see, he is no longer in any position to be a nuisance to you."

"We had very little interaction as competing masters," Saiya admitted. "However, seeing him in this capacity is unexpected. I didn't think he'd be quite so… alluring as a slave. He didn't strike me as quality slave material."

Treize smiled fondly at me and pulled me into his lap, laying a hand on my neck and pulling my head back to bare my neck and chest to the other masters. I knew he was showing me off and I flexed my muscles to reveal chiseled abs and sculpted shoulders. I hadn't trained with Heero for nothing, and as humiliated as I might be, I didn't want to risk embarrassing Treize in front of his peers. I knew him well enough to know that the consequences for that would be dire.  
"I assure you, Platinum has excellent breeding and an exquisite physique. With a firm hand to guide him, he can be an inventive and accommodating lover. Would you like a demonstration?"

Saiya nodded and Treize rose, pushing me off of his lap. I managed to catch myself, slipping to the floor gracefully, and managed not to reveal my annoyance on my face. Really. He could have asked me to move.

_-Edited for Content-_

"I have some business to attend to with Argo, so if the rest of you would like to retire to my chambers I have called for dinner and entertainment to be prepared."

Gratefully, I rose and followed Treize out of the room when he beckoned, happy simply to be leaving the memory of what I'd just done behind.

191 Zechs

I had expected Treize to take me to an office or perhaps another dining area. I had hopes, slim but present, of being allowed to wash Treize's come from my thighs and the taste of cum from my mouth before Treize and Argo conversed. And I had fanciful thoughts of being fed and allowed to sleep. Before, after, or during the meeting didn't really matter to me.

But when I was led instead to a plain white room that housed only two chairs, a metal surgical table, and a rolling cabinet present, I felt both my hopes and my stomach plummet. My first instinct was that Treize had reconsidered torturing me after all, but it wasn't his style to accept assistance when pulling information from a source. Treize much preferred to torment individually, applying a mix of pain and pleasure to wage a psychological battle that he was always, inevitably win.

So as Treize bade me to climb onto the table I realized that only option left was that Treize had decided to show Argo "favor" and let him have me. I closed my eyes and clenched my fists, positioning myself so that my ass was perched on the edge of the table, my legs bent and splayed, ready for whoever decided to fuck me first.

Treize chuckled.

"Not today, poppet," he said, and guided me further up onto the table, letting me lie flat and still as a corpse. My heart pounded as I contemplated what else Treize could be planning to do to me on a table like this, but I couldn't help but be relieved that at least it wasn't that.

Argo entered a moment later, grinning broadly as he spied me on the table with a wary look on my face.

"So he hasn't the foggiest idea what he's here for, eh?" Argo asked, taking the seat not already occupied by Treize. They were stools more than chairs, and well high enough for the two of them to look down on me as I lay on the table. Treize stroked the back of his hand down the side on my face, but I couldn't help the feeling that they were both looming over me.

"No, but he'll figure it out soon enough. Do you remember what we discussed?" Treize asked, and Argo leaned over me, tracing his fingers down my leg from the tip of my thigh to just above my knee.

"Along here?" he indicated and Treize nodded.

"Perhaps splayed a bit along the front and the back as well."

"Best have him on his side, then."

As my heart pounded, Treize pressed me to lay on my left side, exposing my right leg to whatever insanity Argo would perpetrate upon it. Did they mean to lame me? Treize enjoyed a partner that could challenge him, but he had Wufei to duel with and he had indicated that I was to be his trophy. Was this how he intended to ensure that I would not try to escape? Did he mean to make me completely physically reliant on him?

My stress level increased as I watched Argo don bright blue medical exam gloves from the rolling cabinet that he had pulled up beside him. Beside my head, Treize pushed a strand of hair out of my face, but I could not bring myself to look at him. My stomach was still rolling, and I could feel the remnants of what I had swallowed earlier settling like thick slime in the bottom. The salty tang of semen still hung in the back of my throat, and it burned ever so slightly when I breathed. The sweat from my earlier activities had dried on my skin, leaving me feeling dirty and worn. Treize's cum had dried between my thighs and still slicked my insides, only adding to the feeling of filthy that hovered over my body. Now with the added threat of becoming a cripple, it was all I could do not to give in to my misery completely. Instead, I lay there rigidly on the table and stewed in my anguish.

Until finally, Treize leaned over and whispered in my ear, "Relax, darling. I would not take the ability to walk from you."

My eyes darted to his and I could not help the relief that bloomed as I found his gaze to be honest and devoid of malevolence. Whatever he had planned for me, I would not come away from this hobbled. This thought kept me still as Argos wiped down the length of my thigh with alcohol and once again turned to the cabinet.

It was not comforting enough, however, to keep me from tensing and nearly leaping from the table when Argos pulled a small black instrument in the shape of a gun out of the cabinet. Treize laid a hand on my shoulder, although I couldn't tell whether it was to comfort or restrain me. It took me a moment more to realize there was a needle attached to the nose of the gun, and that Argos was attaching a black bottle of liquid to the other end. And when he laid the gun against the flesh of my hip, I bit my lip and closed my eyes.

The sting of it was quite unlike anything I had ever felt before. Like the sting of a hundred infinitesimal wasps, it was more the surprise of it than the actual pain that made me raise my head and open my eyes. When I did, it was to find a line of black ink trailing down my leg in a curling, undulating design.

I was being tattooed.

And I realized in a sickening, gut wrenching twist of logic, that this was far worse than being hobbled. I could hide being hobbled. I could pretend it was a sacrifice. I could be forgiven if I were hobbled, and if I ever returned to my old life, people would look upon me with compassion.

But a tattoo… A tattoo would forever mark me as Treize's. Every time I changed clothes. Every time I showered. Every time I felt the itch under my skin and felt the ink that would never really fade from there, I would know that I belonged to him. There would be no forgiveness of this mark.

I must have made a noise of distress, because Treize pressed my face back down to where it was laying on my arm. The stinging continued, trailing lazily down my leg. I felt lightheaded with panic, shudders running down my spine. Under the lights, I felt bare and raw, like there was nothing left of me. Treize took my hand and I allowed it, clenching my fingers around his because I needed the support, even if a bastard was giving it. Isolated from my boys, my only system of support, Treize had engineered situations that would make me come to him for comfort and protection. I knew this, but that didn't make his tactics any less effective. I burned with shame as Treize's hand ran through my hair, but I leaned into the touch none the less.

"Did you want to go with the design I sent you?" Argos asked, but I couldn't bring myself to look at my leg to see what he was doing.

"Yes. You might need to modify it a bit to his dimensions, but otherwise it was exactly what I had hoped for. I was pleased by how well you managed to grasp the concept from the images I sent you."

Argos hummed a response, but I could tell that he was concentrating on his work. I couldn't tell if I should feel relieved at that or not.

It seemed like a long time before Argos pulled the tattoo gun away from my flesh. Only the cessation of the buzzing of the gun roused me from my stupor as he pulled back and fiddled with his instrument. I glanced down at my side and found the black outline of a rose vine winding its way across my thigh. There were half a dozen tiny rosebuds that I could see, and I had a suspicion that there was one on my ass to match the one on my groin. As the vine looped its way down the side of my thigh I could see it spelling out the letters of Treize's name, although anyone who hadn't been looking for it would be hard pressed to see it amongst the leaves and thorns. But I knew Treize well enough to know that he would always put his name on something that he sought to keep.

"Is this the color you wanted the buds?" Argos asked, pulling out a shade of red that was almost burgundy. When Treize nodded, Argos quickly changed the ink and began filling in the buds. It was only then that I realized where I had seen those flowers before, that they had grown wild in the desert when Treize and I had been sent to try to find rebel soldiers during the war. Riding on horseback and sleeping in a tent, it had been one of the first missions Treize and I had been partnered for. To someone as young and naive as I was, it seemed like an adventure worthy of Arabian Nights. And Treize had been just as dashing, teaching me about the desert and keeping me out of harm's way. The roses had seemed absolutely enchanting, filling the grotto where we camped with their sweet perfume. They had been blooming the first time Treize and I made love, and in a tent and under the moonlight in the middle of a desert, I'd thought it was terribly romantic.

Now, seeing the image of all those thorns and choking vines etched into my thigh, I had to wonder if it symbolized Treize's love. Carefully wrapped in vines and thorns, he tried to hide the damage they could do by enticing me in with roses. And suddenly, I couldn't remember the roses to fondly either.

I was so lost in my thoughts that I was almost startled as the gun stopped again, indicating the Argos had finished filling the roses. I glanced down to find them almost glowing ruby red against my skin, and was it the black outline making it look that way? Or had I always been that pale? Still, I said nothing as Argos changed his ink once again.

"Are you sure you want to finish it today? There's always time later," he offered, but he was already setting up the green ink.

"No, I want it done now, while the message is fresh in his mind," Treize replied. I glanced up at him, but couldn't bring myself to meet his eyes. If I got angry at him, I wouldn't be able to accept his comfort. And I really needed the comfort right now.

Argos began to fill the green in the leaves and the vines, and there was a lot more of the foliage than there was of the flowers. I tried to pick out each of the little black thorns to keep my mind off the continued sting, but there were too many to count. It became too much effort to hold my head up and I let it drop back to my arm. My stomach roiled again and I must have squeezed Treize's hand, because he kissed my temple and whispered, "Not much longer now."

It wasn't much longer, but it felt like ages before the buzzing finally stopped and Argos put the gun aside. I sagged in relief, my leg burning from hip to knee. I barely had the time to appreciate the design, although had I been in a better mood I probably could have admitted that it was a fairly decent piece of art. At least I wouldn't walk around looking like I had graffiti painted on me.

Argos pulled out a container of clear, slightly bluish cream from the cabinet, gently spreading it onto my tender, abused flesh. I noticed that everywhere the new ink was settling in the skin had become inflamed. The gel took some of the sting out, but the flesh was still tender. Argos handed the container to Treize with instructions to apply it twice a day for the next two weeks.

They shook hands then and I knew we were finished. I sat up quickly and then regretted it as the world tilted and I found myself clinging to the table. I felt Treize's hands descend on my shoulders.

"Be careful with him for a bit," Argos advised while putting away his equipment. "His body's just taken a lot of trauma today. He might have a bit of shock. Best keep him quiet and let him sleep it off," Argos advised.

"Noted," Treize replied and helped me to shakily step down from the table and gain my balance. "And thank you again."

As I took the first steps to the door I managed to pull away from Treize's steadying hand and shakily walk on my own. After a few steps, my stomach settled and I was able walk at a steady pace without lurching too visibly. Treize walked at my side, his hand out to catch me if I stumbled, but otherwise allowing me to walk on my own.

By the time we returned to Treize's quarters, I felt like everything inside of me had been pulled out, leaving only a ragged, empty shell. I was cold all over and the skin down my leg burned despite the gel that he been applied to it. The shaking that had made its presence known as I had risen form the tattooing table had only intensified, and showed no signs of abating. There was a dry, aching pain just behind my eyes that I knew would last for several more hours even under the best of conditions, and might take up permanent residence given the current ones.

So I was, understandably, testy. And perhaps a bit foolish.

"I want to see my boys," I demanded as the door closed behind us Treize merely raised an eyebrow as he poured himself a glass of bourbon.

"You've been doing so well tonight," he sighed, swirling the liquid in his glass and leaning patiently against the wall. "Don't tell me your about to get stubborn now."

"I've done everything you asked of me. I've been humiliated and debased all night. You said if I was a good slave, you'd let me see them!"

"Oh, you've certainly acted the part of a good slave," he said, and I felt my hope deflate as Treize argued with me. Treize never agued if he was going to lose. "But I said that you need to be a good slave, not just act like one. And your tone now shows me that you've merely been behaving to get your reward, which certainly isn't proper slave behavior. When you've come to accept your life now and your lack of control, then I will reintroduce the other slaves to you."

"That could take weeks!" I protested, and felt conflicted by the fact that I both wanted to hold out as long as possible and wanted to see my slaves as soon as possible.

"That's entirely up to you," Treize replied nonchalantly, and I had hit my breaking point.

"If you won't bring them to me I'll go find them myself!" I threatened.

"Will you now?" Treize asked, and I sensed his mood change from tolerant to annoyed in an instant. I'd like to blame it on my exhaustion, that I didn't even see him move, but Treize has always been much faster than I am. His foot snaked out faster than I could even see and pulled me feet out from under me, dropping me hard onto my hip, but thankfully onto my left hip. His hand came around just as quickly and he grabbed me by the throat, cutting off my air.

"You do not tell me what you will do. I tell you what to do, and you obey," he told me, enunciating so slowly that by the time he finished and released my throat, I was seeing spots. I gasped and choked as he stormed into the other room. I was still panting when he returned from the other room and placed a large, steel cage on the floor behind me. I glanced at it miserably, and was unsurprised by his next words.

"Get in," he ordered, and I looked the thing over again before moving. It was the size of crate you might but a Rottweiler or a Doberman in, so far too small for me to fit comfortably inside. I glanced balefully at Treize, but seeing no mercy in his glare I decided that back into the thing was far preferable to spending the night on my hands and knees. I scooted myself backwards until my shoulders were pressed against the cold bars of the back of the cage, my neck bent to keep my head from hitting the top, and my knees pressing into my chest to fit my long legs into the short cage. Treize slammed the door shut, and I felt the vibration through the rest of the cage as he clicked the lock in place. It was a padlock with an actual key, not a simple sliding lock that I could open myself or a combination lock that I might guess the combination to. And the cage itself was made of welded steel. I would have been hard-pressed to bend the bars if I had leverage and strength, but from my position and in my weakened state it would be impossible to free myself. Realizing this, my hopes of having a decent rest dwindled to nothingness.

Treize, meanwhile, had spared me a few moments of attention as I acclimated to my new surroundings, and had the audacity to look disappointed in me. I gave him a stubborn glare and he sighed, then rose and headed for the bedroom that I could see through the open door. He paused in the doorway, looking back at me as he reached for the light switch.

"I had hoped that you would warm my bed tonight, but I can see that you are not yet worthy of that consideration. Perhaps a night of sleeping out here will show you how generous I have been."

Then darkness descended and he shut the door.

192

I dreamed of the desert.

The moon hung just outside the curtains of our canvas tent. The moonlight shimmered on Treize's naked skin, leaning over me as the wind brought the scent of desert roses wafting through the tent. My legs were splayed over his shoulders and he thrust rhythmically inside of me. I felt nothing, but that didn't seem to hinder Treize as he continued thrusting in perfect time inside of me. I sighed, wishing he'd just finish.

My head fell to the side, and the wind blew through the camp again, rustling the flap of tent beside me. Something was out there, in the desert. I raised my hand, ignoring Treize's incessant thrusting, and opened the flap.

Outside, there was evidence that a battle had raged, but now everything was quiet and still. My eyes shifted through the wreckage, the blood splattered sand and the smoldering bodies.

I found Quatre first, his tiny body twisted and trampled near the edge of the battle, his soft blonde hair now so caked with blood and sand that it was only by the color of his eyes that I could recognize him. And those pale blue eyes looked at me imploringly, but they were already clouded over with death.

My eyes searched the field again, this time finding Heero and Trowa, blades still clutched in their hands even though their throats had been cut and their bodies were certainly cold by now. The two had been back to back when they died, trying to hold off an enemy far stronger and more numerous than themselves. Now, in death, they leaned up against each other and seemed to scan the battlefield with dead eyes.

Duo was just beyond them, splayed on the top of a pile of bodies, his torso so covered with blood and gore that it was impossible to tell just how many wounds had been inflicted on him. His chest had been completely opened, evidence of a brutal and savage attack. And yet, Duo was still grinning, his lips pulled back from his teeth in an expression that could have just as easily been a snarl. His hair was coming loose from its customary braid and the strands wafted gently in the breeze.

My eyes resumed their search once again, and I shivered as the cold breeze bit into me. It was getting late, and still Treize showed no signs of ceasing his thrusts into my body. But it was fine, because the cold was stealing over me, and I could hardly feel it anymore. It was growing dark outside, and I glanced up to see that the moon was becoming red, casting a bloody glow over the carnage below. I glanced up at Treize to find that his features had become twisted and warped in the red light, and the man that had been making love to me was now replaced with the monster that was fucking me. But I couldn't really feel anything about that.

My eyes found the battleground again, and I could no longer see the individual corpses of my boys. Still, my eyes searched desperately, my mind unable to pinpoint what was so important out in the darkness.

And then I found Wufei. Face down on the edge closest to the camp, I could sense more than hear the pulse that still beat within the battered body. For the first time since I had awoke in this nightmare world, I felt something stir inside me. I tried to reach toward Wufei, but my body was too heavy and I could only move my hand the barest inch in his direction. He must have noticed, though, because he raised his head and looked at me with those dark, fiery eyes.

"Zechs," he called, reaching his hand out to me.

Above me, Treize roared, a monstrous sound that rattled the tent around us. I felt nothing still, and didn't even glance at him, so focused on moving my hand a few more inches toward Wufei.

"Zechs," he called again, and his voice was softer this time, and I could feel his heartbeat failing. He reached his hand toward me, moving just as slowly as I was. The space between us suddenly seemed much further than it had been, and I wanted to cry out with anguish, but I couldn't feel anything except the icy cold that was penetrating my body.

"Zechs," he called a third time, his hand falling to the sand as his strength failed him. "Wake up."

I came to with a gasp, and would have sat up straight, but the bars that were biting into my back didn't allow me to move more than an inch upwards before I hit the top of my tiny prison. I sat there for a moment, gasping for breath and trying to control the shaking running through my body. I was still naked, trapped in the miniature steel cage, and it was so cold.

"Zechs?" came a quiet voice from beside me, and I had a surreal moment of wondering whether I was awake or asleep when I saw Wufei kneeling beside me. I could only gape at him, until he slipped his hand through the bars and laid his cold palm against my forehead. "Son of a bitch!" Wufei snarled, moving his hand to the side of my face. "You're burning up!"

And then he was gone again, gracefully hoping up from the floor and padding across the floor. I wanted to call out to him, beg him to come back, but the rational part of my brain kicked in and reminded me that Treize was sleeping in the next room over and likely didn't know Wufei was here.

Wufei returned moments later and slipped his hands through the bars once again, this time placing three pills into my palm and handing me a paper cup of water. I quickly popped the pills and followed it with all the water in the cup. The cold liquid felt like a stab in the gut to my empty stomach, but I was distantly aware of just how bad of shape my body was in.

"That absolute bastard," he said. "I bet he didn't even feed you," he guessed, and my stomach chose that moment to rumble its assent.

"It's… I'm alright," I lied, still trying to settle my stomach around the water. It took me a moment to bring my attention back to Wufei, and I found him looking miserably at me.

"I…" he started, but without his anger at Treize to guide him, he seemed lost.

"It's okay," I tried to sooth, but he only looked more upset.

"I didn't know," he said finally, brokenly. "You have to believe me, I didn't know he'd do this to you!"

"I know," I told him calmly, leaning back against the cage again. It was just too much effort to sit up anymore. "I know he tricked you. He tricked me too."

"I'm so sorry," he said, and I noticed that he couldn't meet my eyes. "I should have trusted you."

"It wouldn't have mattered," I told him. I knew why he had doubted me, and I couldn't honestly blame him for choosing to protect the others instead of blindly trusting me. In light of my current health crisis, I couldn't find any anger or betrayal in me. I was just so happy to see him. After a moment, I managed to ask him, "How are the others?"

"They miss you," he said quickly, and I saw him draw his sleeve over his eyes, but I didn't comment on it. If I had the strength, I probably would have cried as well.

"Are they… Is he treating them well?"

"Yes," Wufei answered honestly, then hesitated a moment before slipping his hand between the bars and lacing our fingers. I took a shuddering breath and squeezed, just reveling in the feeling of his skin. "He's set us up in guest quarters. We are well fed, and otherwise left alone. Only…"

"Only what?"

"Duo… has not taken well to his forced confinement. He tried to come find you yesterday and got caught. Treize… Treize had him shackled in the bedroom."

I could only imagine that Duo, who had come so far with his fear of being restrained, had not taken that well. I felt a stab right through my chest, that he would have to go through that because I had failed him.

"Is he alright?"

"Yes, they gave him so drugs to calm him down and Heero managed to convince him to take them. Duo's been sleeping a lot since then, and Quatre's sitting with him now."

"I didn't think Heero would leave Duo's when he's so vulnerable," I commented, and there was a flash of guilt on Wufei's face. "I see. So where are Heero and Trowa?" I asked, feeling my stomach lurch sickeningly.

"They… We needed someone… Heero and Trowa distracted the guards, so I could come and check on you. Trowa offered to go alone, but Heero has grown very protective of him recently. Of all of us."

What little contents were in my stomach tried to come up, but I forced it down knowing the noise might wake Treize and reveal Wufei. I knew what kind of "distraction" it would take to make Treize's guards leave their post. The thought of Trowa and Heero letting those bastards touch them, use them, so that Wufei could come find me, was almost more than I could take.

"They volunteered," Wufei whispered softly, his thumb stroking the skin of my hand. "We're all so worried about you, that I didn't even have to ask them. I think they would have done it on their own if I hadn't offered to help. They miss you so much."

"Thank you," I said, and my eyes were getting heavy. I tried to adjust my position in the cage and rubbed my leg along the bar. I hissed as it aggravated the tattoo, and Wufei gasped as he noticed it for the first time in the dim light. He spent a moment just staring at it, tracing his fingers along the outline from the outside of the bars. But even his feather-light touch was agony for me, and I pulled my leg away.

"It's…sore," I told him, and he looked stricken again.

"I'm sorry," he whispered softly, staring down at his hands. "It's been a long time since I've seen a tattoo. They were popular in Collar when I first arrived, but there's no value in a slave with someone else's tattoo. I guess…" he said, and his fingers ghosted above my skin again. "I guess I'm lucky he was never sure he'd keep me after the novelty wore off."

I nodded, because I was too tired to find a reply. My eyes slipped shut.

"Zechs," Wufei called me, slipping his fingers through the bars and lacing them with mine again. "Please, you can't stay like this. I want to… I want to help. I need you to tell me your contact. Maybe they can send someone to get you out."

"It's okay," I told him, but my eyes slipped shut and I couldn't get them to open again. "Treize will keep his word. As long as I stay with him, I can still protect all of you."

"We want to protect you, damnit!" Wufei snarled, barely keeping his voice down, but even his anger was not enough to get my eyes open. "Zechs, please, you can't go on like this! We're trying to get you free. Please, I need your contact."

And because I was too tired to fight… I gave it to him.

When my eyes opened again, Wufei was gone, and there was a shrill ringing noise coming from the bedroom. I lolled my head to the side to look towards the bedroom, but the door was still shut. I let the darkness take me again.

I don't know how long I was out, but I awoke to my cage being rattled and Treize's feet beside me. He was dressed in casual clothes, slacks and a button-down top with the top few buttons left open. His feet were bare, and he knelt on his toes to open the cage for me. I stifled a groan as I tried to sit up; my entire body was sore, right down to my ankles, which had been tilted awkwardly all night as I tried to fit into the cramped space.

"Come on, my love. I've missed you all night, and now I'm hoping you'll behave well enough for us to have a pleasant breakfast. I forgot how trying you could be," he joked, and his mood seemed to have improved with sleep, because he smiled at me. "But I enjoy the challenge. Come out now, and perhaps I'll give you a rub-down after breakfast."

My head was aching and it felt like I hadn't gotten any sleep at all. Awkwardly, with my body protesting every move, I managed to scoot out of the cage and, using the structure for support, climb to my feet. A wave of dizziness hit me, and I used my hold on the cage to keep it from taking me down.

"You look terrible," he commented, and I heard genuine concern in his voice, but it didn't touch me. My head was spinning, and I clutched the iron bars of my cage and tried not to throw up. "Perhaps you'll remember this the next time you pick a fight with me."

I couldn't hold back the bark of laughter as I lost my battle with gravity and went to one knee. Looking him in the eyes for the first time since I'd climbed out of the cage, I said, "You're such a dick."

And then passed out.

I dreamed that I was back in the desert and that a scorpion kept stinging my arm. I know that I slept for a long time, and that I probably could have woken up well before I actually did. But I simply couldn't bring myself to face my broken body, my bleeding heart, or my pissed off owner. Eventually, though, I couldn't keep hiding.

When I surfaced, I felt better than I had expected. Much better, actually. I was warm, and I could feel the weight of a blanket over top of me. The stinging in my arm from the dream had not faded. I reached out to brush away the scorpion, but fingers intercepted mine. I raised my head from the warm body beneath me and found Treize smiling at me.

"That's the seventh time you've tried to pull your i.v. out. It was always difficult to get you to take your medicine, but I see you've only gotten worse," he joked, then kissed my forehead. I let my head fall back to his chest, trying to reconcile the Treize beneath me to the one who tattooed me and locked me in a cage all night.

"I didn't know that your condition was that bad," he admitted softly before I had even finished thinking. "I suppose I… expected too much of you. I wanted us to pick up where we left off. And I expected you to feel for me… what I feel for you. I didn't mean to push you so far, and I never thought you'd be so fragile."

I didn't respond, because I didn't know what to say. My head was swimming, but I couldn't feel any pain. Even my leg, where the tattoo was wrapped up in the blanket and should have been stinging like hell, was strangely silent.

"Did you give me something?" I asked, my voice raspy and my words slurred. Treize nodded.

"There are painkillers in your i.v. The doctor said you were suffering from dehydration and stress. He suggested anti-anxiety medication, but I'm not sure I'll give it to you. I don't really want your personality changing," he said, stroking a piece of hair away from my face, "but I don't think you can continue being as high-strung as you are."

I chuckled and buried my face in my arm. Of course I was high-strung. It didn't make me any less high-strung that Treize was now contemplating whether to get me addicted to mood-altering medication, while I had no idea of the possible side effects or consequences. My chuckle turned into something more, and Treize rubbed soothing circles in my back as I sobbed into my arm.

Then the drugs took me under again, and I let myself be drawn down into sleep.

When I woke next, I was alone and on my back on the couch. The heavy blanket was still over me. I stretched and realized that my i.v. had been removed. I rubbed my arm absently and stroked my fingers over the cotton pad that had been taped over the vein. I yawned, my head feeling a bit clearer, and sat up.

As if on cue, Treize came in trailed by a slave carrying a lidded tray. The slave set the tray on the table and uncovered it, revealing a simple soup and sandwich platter, then bowed to Treize and quickly left. My stomach rumbled loudly, and Treize smiled at me.

"I can tell you're famished, so I'll make this brief. I have some matters I need to attend to, so I'm going to leave you here. I'll be back in a few hours. Eat, watch some tv, don't do anything strenuous. I've sent for someone to keep you company, so that you don't overtax yourself. Do not," he said firmly, "make me regret giving you this much freedom."

He turned then and went to the door. The conversation was moving faster than my lethargic brain could keep up with, so I was nearly floored when Treize opened the door to reveal Quatre waiting demurely. He was fully dressed, surprisingly, in trousers and a soft blue shirt. My heart jumped to my throat then, because as excited as I was to see Quatre, nothing was ever that simple with Treize.

"Enter," Treize said, and it was not a suggestion. It was easy to tell that Quatre was intimidated by the way his eyes never left the floor, and I could feel my hackles raise at the way Treize was menacing over Quatre, but I knew I was at a disadvantage so I forced myself to calm down.

"Now," Treize said, taking Quatre's chin in his hand and forcing the smaller man to meet his eyes. "I'm going to leave him in your care, and I trust that you will show some… decorum in my absence. I know it's been some time since you've seen my slave, but I hope you can remember that he, and you, belong to me." His eyes went to me, then, and a chill went down my spine. "If you both behave while I'm gone, we'll get better acquainted when I return. If not, perhaps I'll get better acquainted with him alone," he threatened, and then glided out of the room.

I was practically snarling, just barely keeping from jumping up to chase after him, Quatre bound over to the couch beside me. And, despite the warning Treize had given us only moments before, I pulled him into my embrace.

It was everything that I had been aching for. Where Treize's embrace caged me and filled me with dread, Quatre's embrace made me feel free. It felt like I could finally breathe for the first time in months as I pressed my face against his hair and took in the his scent.

All too soon he was pulling back, petting me and shushing me as I practically hyperventilated against his shoulder.

"What's he been doing to you?" Quatre wondered, brushing my hair away from my face. "You look like hell!"

I laughed. "You've been hanging out with Duo too much," I said, and maybe it was the drugs still in my system that made it so funny.

"No, I'm just worried about you. We're all worried about you," he said gently, stroking my hair. It was so gentle that I felt my eyes start to slip closed, leaning against his shoulder as he petted me gently. After a bit, he said, "You should eat something," and it roused me enough to sit up.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to fall asleep on you," I told him, and stretched. It was then that I realized I was naked, covered only in the blanket I had awoken under.

"It's alright," he said, and served me half of the sandwich. I ate it mechanically, not even noticing what kind it was.

"Did Wufei get back alright last night? How's Duo doing?" I asked as I ate.

"Wufei didn't get caught, and the guards let Duo take a shower this morning. Treize said that he'd release him if I kept you company while he was gone."

I finished the first half of the sandwich, and he pressed the soup into my hands. The soup was chicken with vegetables and potatoes. I pushed the other half of the sandwich at Quatre.

"You should eat something too," I said, but he smiled and shook his head.

"Treize has actually been keeping us pretty well fed, and I've been so anxious lately that I've been cooking non-stop."

"I'm sure the others appreciate it."

"Mm. Trowa doesn't like me working so much, but eating keeps Duo occupied. And I find it soothing. But we can talk more about that later," he said, as I finished the soup and set the bowl aside. "You should sleep now," he told me, and there was no arguing with that tone. He pulled me down, and I curled up on his thigh and sleep took me under.

And for the first time since I had come into Treize's possession, there were no dreams.

193 Quatre

I couldn't let Master see how miserable we'd been without him. I could feel that he was hanging on the precipice of despair, and that one more blow could push him over the edge. So while he was awake, I had smiled and held him, determined to lift his spirits if only a bit. But as he slept, I felt the mask slip, and I was glad he was not awake to see how pained I was.

He was burnt out, burned through until nothing was left but ashes. His fighting spirit and his determination were gone. Zechs didn't care about himself, didn't care if Treize used him or abused him or left him to rot. As long as he was assured of our well-being, he would allow himself to be treated however badly Treize chose. Zechs was a man nearly broken, who felt that he had failed in his only purpose and lost everything of meaning in his life. I stroked his hair and tried to fan the flame of hope that had kindled when I entered, but it was smoldering under his own helplessness.

And yet, there was no real rescue plan. Without a leader, we had made no progress and had set only one goal- to free Zechs. Wufei had learned how to contact Zechs' agency the previous night, but I had been taken before I could find out if he had managed to contact them. Wufei was like a man possessed, his betrayal of Zechs resting heavily on his mind until he couldn't eat or sleep because of the guilt he felt. He had never confessed his sins to any of us, and I doubt the others even knew he had a hand in delivering Master to Treize. I had not asked him, knowing that anger would be pointless in helping us rescue Zechs. And I knew that nothing I could inflict on him would be worse than the misery he was putting himself through. And nothing I could say would alleviate it, either.

Heero was also in no state to lead us, with his hands full as Duo began to revert back to the near-animal he'd been when we found him. All that came from Duo when I was near was rage and panic, and I had taken to avoiding him because it made my heart pound to be around him. Trowa, meanwhile, had become a shadow once again, and I felt that he wanted to pull me under his cloak and hide me against the wall with him. But I could not live in the shadows, and I would not let him take me there. I wanted to step up and lead, but with everyone's emotions bombarding me, and with the fact that I had not taken my pills since we had been separated from Zechs, I could not find the resolve in me to take charge.

I tried not to think of Treize, and his half-veiled threats toward me. When he had met me in the hall and I had been told I would see Zechs, his aura had been terrifying. I had never seen anything like it, and I was too frightened to read him. Now, stroking Zechs' hair as he slept on my thigh, I wished I had. I glanced at the IV stand hung in the corner and the heavy afghan draped across Zechs' legs, and could not understand why a man who seemed like he had been through so much also appeared to be so well-cared for. Because it was apparent from the lines on his face and the weight that had disappeared from his frame that Zechs had been miserable since we'd been separated. But at the same time, a master would not nurse a slave that he cared nothing for. Treize had gone through a lot of trouble to gain Zechs, and then it appeared even more trouble to keep him healthy. So why would he go through all that trouble only to treat Zechs badly? It didn't make any sense.

It was too much for me to ponder at the moment, and I shifted to make myself more comfortable and found myself nodding off.

I was awoken by the sound of a door shutting and a deep throated chuckle. I gave a cold glare to Treize, but it was hard to look fierce in the face of someone who holds so much power over you. My hand went to Zechs' shoulder to rouse him, but Treize only smiled in a predatory way as he made his way over to the opposing couch.

"Don't bother trying to wake him," he said as he dropped to the cushions. "I had them put a light sedative in his soup, in case you were brave enough to try to escape. I see I needn't have worried," he said, and there was the lilt of an insult to it. I felt a stab of guilt as I realized that I was the one who had prompted Zechs to eat, but I knew it wasn't truly my fault. With the kind of power Treize held over Zechs, he could just as easily force my master to take the drugs. And it wasn't like Zechs could stop eating.

I glanced at Treize across the room, and was immediately bombarded by his emotions. I looked away, trying to block it out again, but the amount of rage that was coming from his overwhelmed my ability to shield myself. I knew I needed to put some distance between us. I rose slowly from the couch, trying not to draw his attention any more than I already had, and allowed Zechs' head to fall out of my lap. He hardly stirred, and I began to doubt the light description of the sedatives Treize slipped him.

I felt Treize calm as I separated from Zechs. It was only then that I could identify the emotion as jealousy.

"I'm surprised you didn't try to convince him to run away," Treize continued, and his voice was smooth, but his emotions told me that he was still trying to bait me. "With Dragon and Shinigami helping, I thought for sure that you would have tried to break for freedom."  
"I am neither stupid nor suicidal," I responded crisply, Treize's anger seeping into me until it was difficult to tell his emotions from my own. I tried to rein in my temper, knowing that I was no match for the Owner of Collar.

"I was not sure about that, when I returned to find his head in your lap, but I suppose I can excuse it if he is only sleeping," Treize said, and his rage dulled into a seething jealousy, once again lending credit to my theory that he did, in fact, value Zechs deeply.

"I did not mean to disobey your rule, but he feels strongly for his slaves, and he has been worried. I meant only to reassure him," I tried to placate, but Treize's tension did not ease. If anything, his anger increased. Still, he remained poised. There was a mask in place, one that was old and thick and well worn. Nothing penetrated it except the emotions he chose to reveal. I wondered, watching the cold calculations in his eyes, what he would do if he found out that I could see right through that mask at a glance? I doubted he would be pleased.

"Isn't it strange how much affection he shows for slaves that he has known for less than a year? When he and I have known each other for far longer than that."

He was trying to provoke me, that much I knew. Whether he was lying to provoke me or simply telling me a truth that Zechs had withheld was less certain, but he didn't seem the type to lie. Still, I did not allow myself to rise to the bait, instead walking behind the couch and trying to put as much space as possible between us without seeming to run away. Treize's manner was too predatory, and I knew that if I ran he would instinctively take the advantage and chase me.

"Some masters form quick attachments. He sees us as treasured pets," I said, trying again to placate him, but again it had no effect.

"Does he now?" Treize responded silkily. "You'll have to excuse me, I'm not accustomed to people fucking their treasured pets," he scoffed. The vulgarity sounded forced and crude from him, but if he thought to surprise me with it then he was sadly mistaken. Being around Duo had been an education in language.

"He may have sex with us, but he has never fucked us," I replied, giving way to my own temper at last. It was the wrong thing to do, though, and Treize had me against the wall in a moment, arms splayed on either side of my head, threatening but not touching.

"Then perhaps I should show him what little whores are for," he snarled, and I gulped in a breath. I had to stay calm. Treize prided himself on his class, and if I lost control and resorted to animal instincts, then he would treat me as such. But if I could hold my composure, perhaps I could bring him back to reason.

"You said you would not touch me if we obeyed your rules," I protested, my voice coming out much more calmly than I felt. Treize smiled coldly, then.

"No," he corrected, backing away. "I said I would not touch you without him. So perhaps it is time to wake him up?"

_-Edited for Content-_

"Come," he beckoned me, and I knew that he would eventually have his way, even though I shook my head and dug my heels in. His eyes narrowed, and he beckoned again. "Come here, or you'll regret it," he promised, but nothing could make me budge. I was barely holding his emotions at bay with the space between us. Touching him would undo me. Zechs, still in Treize's lap, could sense my distress and its cause, and tried to intervene.

"Treize, please," Zechs begged, and Treize turned his attention away from me for a moment. "He really can't touch you. He's empathic. He'll be overwhelmed by your emotions. Aren't I enough for you?" Zechs tried, but Treize could see it for the ploy it was, and would not be swayed.

"So you can read my mind, little kitten?" he asked, smiling in a way that frightened me more than his frown, and I nodded hesitantly. Treize pushed Zechs off his lap, peering at me like an insect under a microscope.

"It's much stronger through touch. If I touch you, I'll know all your secrets," I lied, desperate to keep him away.

"Tch," he said, the smile disappearing. "Liar," and then he slapped me hard across the face.

"You bastard!" snarled Zechs and lunged at Treize, but he was still woozy from the sedatives and fell back easily when Treize pushed him.

"Don't!" I cried, getting between the two and trying to keep the fight from escalating. "I'm sorry! I meant that I'll know all your emotions, everything you feel. I can block you from a distance, but skin to skin contact is undeniable without my drugs."

"Really?" he said, cocking his head and I could tell that the idea intrigued him. "Then tell me all about myself."

He placed his hand on my cheek and I felt my vision blur. In the distance, I heard Zechs scream. If I had been able to, I would have screamed as well. It felt like my mind was shattering, with thin cracks running all along my psyche until it finally burst apart.

"You're mad!" I heard my voice say.

"Tell me what you feel, little rabbit," Treize said, his hand stroking down to find my pulse, and it was only then that I felt my heart pounding against my chest.

"You're obsessed," I gasped, and felt hot tears spill down my cheeks. "You're so obsessed with power that it's drowned out everything else!"

"Leave him be!" Zechs shouted, lunging to separate us, but Treize knocked him to couch and jerked me against him, twisting my arm behind my back and pinning it between our bodies, his other hand still holding my cheek.

"Move again and I'll break his arm," Treize promised, and I was terrified more by the lack of emotion I felt connected to that promise than I did about the threat to myself. Treize would feel nothing from snapping my arm and watching me suffer, but thankfully Zechs stayed frozen in his seat.

"Now, darling, chat with me," and I could feel his breath on my neck, "Tell me what you know."

"Please, let me go," I pleaded, trying in vain to pull my face away.

"In due time, but first I want to see your skill in action," he said, and his personality was so strong in my mind that I felt the words spilling out before I even thought of saying them.

"You're lust for power overwhelms almost everything else," I said, and felt the words slipping from my mouth in an unstoppable flow. "You've gone mad from hunger from it, and he," my eyes rolled, settling on Zechs, "represents everything you've lost in your struggle for power, every goal unreached, every failure experienced." My eyes rolled again, and I found myself staring over my shoulder at Treize's cold countenance. "You love him. You love him so deeply that you frightened him away. You frightened him away and then you became a monster. And you know that if he did not love you then he could never love now. You…"

I found myself hurled violently away. My legs crumpled beneath me, and my face connected with the floor. I head Zechs yell and knock over the end table. Treize's heavy footsteps sounded, and I saw him lift Zechs and put him back on the couch, easily dodging the sloppy punch Zechs threw at him. Then he turned to me, and I pressed my face back to the floor, hoping it would swallow me up, but I felt strong hands grab my arms and I was lifted. I was pinned against the wall, Treize's thighs pressed against mine, his chest only inches from my own as his hand snaked under my shirt and pressed against the skin of my ribcage. Rage and despair assailed me as Treize's emotions leapt back into my mind and I sobbed.

I had pushed too far. I had seen too much, threatened him, and he would retaliate. Nothing Zechs could say would keep him from me now. His fingers slipped down into the waist of my pants, his fingers splaying across my hips, and I sobbed.

"Tell me, poppet," he said in a terrifying whisper, "If I take you by force, will he ever forgive me?"

"No," I cried, "He'll hate you forever. Every time you touch him he'll hear me crying and be disgusted."

"And how will I react to that?" he pursued.

"You'll become enraged. You'll beat him until he loves you again. You'll break his spirit, damn you!" I hissed, knowing that Zechs was just beyond us.

"And how would I do that?" he asked, and his voice was so sinister that I felt like I was talking to a demon. My empathy fed me the answer, though, and it was no less terrifying.

"You'll kill one of us. Right in front of him. The failure would break him."

"Which one?" he asked, because already he knew who it would be. I could feel it too. His darkness would put out our brightest light, our strongest soul. It had started already, but he could be far crueler.

"No. Leave him alone. You leave Duo alone!"

"My, you are good," he said, and sounded unexpectedly pleased. "The Shinigami will meet his maker if you do not heed me. Do you want that?"

"No! Please, I'll do anything, just don't hurt him!"

"Anything?" he questioned, removing his hand from my skin to stroke my hair. I pulled in a sobbing breath as the connection of our skin was broken and I found myself alone in my mind.

"What would you have me do?" I begged him.

"Make him believe," he said, pulling me close. "Lie. Make him believe you want me. Make me believe he loves me."

194 Quatre

And then he kissed me, and this time when our skin touched I wasn't overwhelmed by rage and jealousy. I found the one true thread of love he still had for Zechs and I held fast, and suddenly I was flooded with lust and possessive fondness.

"Quatre!" Zechs shouted, enraged, but I knew nothing I could say would convince him. So instead I returned Treize's kiss, wrapping my arms around his neck.

The rage quieted as I submitted. Muted into something more akin to dominance than anger, it was easier to separate his emotions from my own as he deepened the kiss and slipped his tongue into my mouth.

"Quatre?" Zechs voice came again, this time softer and confused as I held fast to Treize, afraid to pull back and reignite the madness that had torn through me only minutes before.

"You're slave certainly knows how to behave around a true master," Treize commented, but it wasn't a barb this time. I let my mouth settle to his neck and began sucking the soft skin there, as Treize's hands began to skillfully undo the buttons of my shirt. "Such soft, pale skin and hair. He reminds me of you when you were younger. That's why I picked him," Treize said as he finished the buttons and I let the shirt fall from my shoulders. There was a piercing stab of nostalgia; something about my bare, narrow shoulders reminded Treize almost painfully of his first few days with Zechs. _-Edited for Content-_

Treize reached over the arm of the couch then and snagged his pants, pulling them into his lap and fishing the phone out of the pocket. It was black, palm-sized, with a high definition video screen that Treize didn't bother engaging when he made his call. Zechs was still looking at me, and I saw the light go out of his eyes as Treize ordered a guard to return and collect me. Treize hung up and leaned back, smiling at Zechs.

"I think we've had enough of your pets for a while," Treize said, and Zechs could only nod at him miserably.

Something snapped inside of me. A plan formed, and I didn't let myself think it through fully before I hurled myself at Treize.

"You bastard! You monster!" I cried. He laughed, dropping his phone onto his lap to catch my arms, which I flailed ineffectively at him. He laughed and threw me to the floor. When he rose to tower over me, I kicked at his feet, knocking the phone across the room and into my pile of clothing. I missed Treize entirely, but he still felt the need to place his foot on my abdomen and press down, effectively pinning me to the floor.

"What spirit! If you'd been this active while I was fucking you I wouldn't have had to finish with Zechs," he said cruelly, but I could only glare in response. There was a knock on the door then, and the same guard who had brought me entered. "Take him back to the others," Treize ordered, then removed his foot from my chest. I rolled quickly and scrambled to grab my clothes, casting one last look at Zechs pale face before bolting out the door.

I vowed then that it was the last time I would ever let that man make my master so miserable.

Because Treize had Zechs.

But I had his vidphone.

195 Heero

Quatre was out late, although it was difficult to tell how late it was in our small set of rooms with no clock. I was curled up around Duo, who had finally fallen asleep with his manacled hands clutched to his bare chest, his legs covered only in cloth shorts and tangled in the blankets. Trowa had maintained a vigil at the door since Quatre had been called away, and although Wufei had reassured Trowa that Treize would not hurt Quatre, I could tell that Trowa was very worried and Wufei was not very confident. I didn't like seeing Trowa brood there against the wall, staring at the door like it would never open. The stress was getting to all of us, and I pushed down the urge to snap at him.

"Can you come sit with him?" I asked, "I need to use the bathroom."

It was a lie, and he probably knew it, but came over and settled beside Duo anyway. He placed a hand on Duo's shoulder, and I managed to slip away with causing him to stir too much as Trowa slipped into my place. I liked to think that the touch soothed them both, but a part of me knew Trowa would only feel better when Quatre returned.

I stretched and headed toward the bathroom, more because I knew Trowa was watching than because I felt the need to. It was awkward to urinate with no door for privacy and with a pair of guards right around the corner, but we'd gotten used to it over the last couple days. Everyone except Duo, but he managed to use the bathroom and even take a shower as long as one of us blocked the doorway.

The guards weren't bad, all things considered. They didn't bully us, didn't use unnecessary force. Even when Duo was having a fit, they hadn't gone out of their way to hurt him or retaliate. There were four of them, in rotating shifts, and it seemed like they'd managed to get what Duo called a "cake job" babysitting the five of us. In general, the two on shift would play cards, watch tv, and eat whatever Quatre was cooking. It was probably part of the reason they didn't pick on us, didn't ask for sexual favors.

But they were willing to accept sexual favors freely offered. I thought back to the previous day. Those same guards had been more than happy to accept when Trowa and I had offered to suck them off as a cover for letting Wufei go check on Zechs, but they hadn't been cruel about it

"You gonna be okay?" Trowa asked quietly, remembering that there was only the sound of the running water to cover our voices, with no door blocking the bathroom and only a thin black curtain hiding us. Duo and Quatre were just a few feet away in the bedroom. I nodded and leaned my forehead against the wall of the shower, letting the hot water flow over me.

"Don't think about it," Trowa whispered behind me, stepping up to press himself against my back, covering my hands with his own and leaning his face against my neck as we both huddled under the spray. His skin felt so good against mine, that I turned my face and pressed my cheek to his, just to feel the skin against mine. And suddenly I had the overwhelming urge to have as much of his skin as possible touching mine.

"Fuck me," I asked breathlessly against his ear.

_-Edited for Content-_

Forty-five minutes later, we offered the second shift of guards a round, allowing Wufei to slip back in. That time I did throw up, quietly, when we finished, and Trowa stuck his finger down his own throat when I was done. We took another shower, brushing our teeth several times, before the five of us huddled over Duo's bed for debriefing. Wufei, looking pale and shaken, took his place by Duo's feet and Duo sat up as far as his chains would allow him to ask, "Is he okay?"

Wufei nearly jumped at the question, his hand going to rub at his eyes in distress, and I knew whatever came next would be a half-lie.

"He'll be alright until we get him free. I don't think Treize is trying to do any permanent damage, but I think Zechs is pushing his buttons."

"You should have sprung him tonight!" Duo hissed, and Quatre shushed him. Duo was too loud, and I could see him working himself into a frenzy from the way he held his manacled hands protectively in front of him. I nodded to Trowa and he passed me one of Duo's sedatives, which I shot into Dou's hip while he was busy getting worked up at Wufei.

"You son of a bitch, Heero!" he shouted, and this time no one tried to quiet him, because he cursed like this every time I had to put him under. "I won't forgive this, you bastard!" he yelled, but the drugs took him under anyway, and Trowa and I helped make him more comfortable as his eyes slipped closed.

"He doesn't mean it," Quatre said, his pale hand locking around my wrist. "I know he doesn't, he's just afraid and upset. I promise he doesn't mean it. Don't give up on him," he begged me. I nodded, but in my heart I felt like Duo was being pulled away from me, and there was nothing I could do to stop it.

"Did you get what you went for?" I asked Wufei to change the subject.

"I did," he told me, and might have said more, but one of the guards took an interest in us then, and we had to scatter to our own beds. I took Quatre's place lying beside Duo, and Trowa and Quatre moved across the room to the other twin mattress. Wufei retreated to the kitchen for a long time, and I would have thought he was eating, but I hadn't heard the refrigerator or the cabinets open. The beds were too small for all of us, so Quatre and Trowa curled up on the other bed and Wufei usually slipped in with them if he didn't need to help me restrain Duo. When Wufei came back, though, he settled in the corner near the door, keeping a watchful eye on the guards, but mostly just staring at the four of us. Quatre asked him several times to come lay down, but he was ignored, and eventually we fell asleep. I don't know if Wufei slept at all.

But that was last night's drama, and tonight's missing Quatre was upsetting Trowa far more than giving blow jobs to the guards had upset me.

I washed my hands and returned to Duo's bed, then perched myself on the nightstand when Trowa made no move to get up. Duo was turned toward me, and I could see the purple strips beneath his eyes and the darker purple motley of bruises around his wrists where he'd fought his manacles earlier. It was hard to remember that it'd barely been three days since we'd been separated from our master, and time seemed to slow to a crawl in these rooms with nothing to do but worry.

Duo hadn't wanted to worry. Duo had wanted to fight as soon as he realized Zechs wasn't coming back immediately. With no forethought and no care for the consequences, he'd taken the first chance the guards' backs were turned and bolted back towards where we had last seen Zechs. I know he had some delusions of freeing Zechs and then returning, guns blazing, for the rest of us. I tried to remember that it was most likely a blind panic that pushed him to such rash actions, and I tried not to feel hurt about the fact that he had neither consulted nor utilized me in his rescue attempt. And when they dragged him back empty handed and left me to deal with the aftermath, I tried not to resent that either.

At least, though, they'd given us sedatives for him. Though, I think that had more to do with the first two hours that he spent screaming than an actual interest in his wellbeing.

Wufei entered from the kitchen then and settled, cross-legged on Trowa's bed. He was sipping a glass of water, and it looked like he wanted to say something reassuring but could not find the words.

I carded my hands through Duo's bangs and his eyes fluttered, lethargically glancing around the room before meeting mine, and then closing again. The drugs were leaving his system, and he pushed himself up on an elbow to turn and look at Trowa. Trowa stayed lying down as Duo whispered a question, probably about Quatre, then turned and nestled into Trowa's embrace. I sighed and leaned back against the wall, taking in the silence and trying to calm my anxious body and mind.

But the moment was broken when the front door of the apartment opened and Quatre stumbled in, falling to the floor and clutching his shirt to his bare chest, his legs twisted in his half-donned pants. Trowa was out of the bed and across the room before I'd even catalogued the bruise on Quatre's cheek or the haunted look in his eyes. The guards exchanged words, our guards only glancing with casual interest at Quatre as Trowa lifted him from the floor and brought him into the bedroom, pulling him to the corner near the bathroom for some semblance of privacy as he ran his hands over Quatre's form, looking for injuries. I heard the other guards leave as I approached Trowa slowly, knowing that Trowa was nearly out of his mind with worry but also seeing the way Quatre clutched his shirt to his chest desperately. Trowa was beyond words, his body naturally going silent when under stress, but his jerky, desperate movements were clear enough. Quatre clutched his arms to his body, gripping his shirt to his chest.

"Trowa," I called, catching Trowa's arm as I saw Quatre's distress rising. "Give him some room," I cautioned, pulling Trowa back. Quatre was gasping now, soft whispers of breath that were close to sobs. "Are you alright?"

"I…" Quatre tried, his fingers clutching his shirt again. His eyes went to Wufei, who approached slowly, his brow furrowing with the same confusion as the rest of us. "I have…"

"What is it?" Wufei asked, pausing to give Quatre space.

"I…" he faltered again, holding his shirt out to Wufei. "Please," he begged, but whether he was begging for Wufei to take the shirt or to understand still wasn't clear. Wufei reached out, though, and as his hands brushed the material a stray corner of plastic peaked out and suddenly his eyes brightened with understanding. His hands slipped into the folds of the fabric and quickly extracted the phone, then he hurried to one of the beds and smothered the object with a pillow to cover the noise it made as it shut off. Then he slipped it under the mattress at the back of one of the beds, although it was probably unnecessary considering the soldiers had yet to search our rooms even once.

"Thank you," Wufei said as he returned to us, "You did well, Quatre. I don't think I can tell you what this means," he said, his eyes slipping to the open doorway and the guards just beyond, "but be assured that your efforts will make a tremendous difference."

Quatre smiled, then, and a bit of the fear bled out of him. But it was short-lived, as Trowa approached once again, unable to keep his own concern at bay.

"I'm more worried about you," he admitted, stepping into Quatre's space once again, his fingers brushing the length of the bruising across Quatre's face. "Let me see what else that bastard did," Trowa demanded, and it was clear from his voice that he blamed himself for every mark on Quatre, for his inability to protect his lover. But it was equally clear from the way Quatre pulled away from Trowa's grasp that Quatre was as unable to deal with Trowa's guilt as he was his own mental anguish.

"I'm fine, really," Quatre protested, his voice growing more panicked as Trowa began to pull at his clothes.

"You're not fine!" Trowa growled, and there was a subdued desperation in his voice that was no less frightened than Quatre's. "You could be hurt!"

"I can handle myself!" Quatre snarled back, his voice rising to a pitch that I worried the guard would hear. I moved to intercede between to two, with Wufei right beside me, as Quatre continued to retreat and Trowa advanced.

"You need help," Trowa tried again, making an effort to calm his voice. "Let me help," he asked, but Quatre was too wired to let him close.

"I did fine on my own! Leave me alone!" Quatre cried, his breath now coming in hysterical sobs, and I blocked Trowa just as Wufei pulled Quatre to the side.

"Get out of my way, Heero," Trowa snarled, and I could tell that he was only seconds away from violence. Behind me, I heard Wufei trying to convince Quatre to let us check for damage, but Quatre was only getting more and more hysterical.

"Heero," Duo's voice came, the only calm sound in the room, and it quieted the rest of us. "Bring him here," he demanded, and the quiet tone left no room for argument. I turned away from Trowa, who seemed to settle as Duo took control, and led an unresisting Quatre across the room to Duo's bed.

"I'm fine," Quatre protested again, the desperation bleeding out of him as the room quieted.

"Of course you are," Duo assured as Quatre settled at the foot of the bed. "Heero, can you let me out?" he asked, and I hesitated for a moment before deciding it was safe. Duo wouldn't run while we needed him, lest of all while Quatre was in such a fragile state. We didn't actually have a key, but I handed Duo a piece of wire that I pulled from inside the mattress, and the cuffs were off a moment later. Unlike Trowa, Duo didn't reach for Quatre, instead choosing to rub his wrists and set the cuffs aside.

"He got your face pretty good, though, didn't he?" Duo said, reaching out slowly and touching Quatre's cheek. Quatre hissed, but allowed the touch.

"I'm… I'm alright," he said, but his voice was wobbly and tired this time.

"Obviously," Duo agreed. "You're tough as nails, Kitty. I didn't expect anything less."

"I…" Quatre trailed, and I could almost see Duo's approval breaking through Quatre's barriers, and suddenly Quatre collapsed onto Duo's knees, his shoulders shaking and his face buried in the sheets. Duo just shushed him and gathered him up, pulling him into the first embrace he'd allowed since he got back. His words were pouring out now, and Duo didn't try to quiet them.

"…I tried, I tried but he's insane! He's got Master Zechs and he's using us to manipulate him! He made me… made me…" and Quatre was crying too hard to continue now, but Duo just stroked his hair and soothed him.

"Shh, I know. I know, it's okay, I know."

"I should have done something, anything! He hurt my master and I just stood there!"

"You couldn't do anything. You have to believe me, you did the right thing."

"He's evil, Duo! He wants Zechs, and he'll kill all of us to get him. He… He said he'd hurt you!"

"I know, Kitty, I know. Why do you think I act like this? Paint a big target on my back and he'll leave you guys alone. I'm just sorry I couldn't protect you from this."

"No," Quatre said, shaking his head. "I'm glad it was me. I hate him now. I hate him and I'll do anything to see him dead."

"Good. You take that hatred and you feed it, and someday we'll spit on his grave, you and me," Duo promised, and there were tears on his face too, but it seemed cathartic for the both of them.

"I just feel so helpless," Quatre admitted, hiding his face in Duo's knees once again. This time, though, it was Wufei that moved in, laying a hand on Quatre's back and settling beside them.

"You did everything you could," Wufei said. "You did magnificent. Don't let him take that from you. I know… I know how powerless he can make you feel."

Quatre's head raised, and he shared a look of understanding with Wufei that I could not fathom, and then he left Duo's lap to pull Wufei into an embrace. With his face buried in Quatre's shoulder it was impossible to tell, but I believe Wufei wept as well.

Seeing Wufei and Quatre together drew Trowa out of his paralysis, and before I could stop him he was on his knees beside the bed. Quatre's head came up and Trowa moved to speak, but no words came out. He tried again, but his words failed him. Tears came to his eyes, and he couldn't look at Quatre's face. Eventually, staring at his hand like his world was crumbling around him, Trowa said, "I'm sorry. I failed you."

It was all the prompting Quatre needed to slide from the bed and wrap himself around Trowa, all the while giving denials and praise. Trowa's arms came around Quatre like iron bars and I doubted any force on earth could have separated them in that moment.

And that only left me, and I found myself joining Trowa on the floor. Quatre turned to me, and I could only say, "You're the strongest of us all," because I was took choked with emotion. Quatre took my hand, and I think he would have come to me but Trowa would not release him. And as Duo reached down and pulled me onto the bed, my arms coming around him in the same desperate hold that Trowa held Quatre, I knew how he felt.

"This isn't anyone's fault," Wufei commented quietly. His arms were wrapped around his middle, his eyes cold and lonesome, and I could tell he was missing Master fiercely. "No one's but that bastard Treize."

"We'll get him back," I promised, reaching out to lay a hand on Wufei's shoulder. "We'll get Zechs back, and we'll make that bastard pay."

Wufei nodded, but could find no words. Silence spread across the room, but it was soothing, letting us calm after our emotional breaks. I listened to Duo's heartbeat, my hand still on Wufei's shoulder and his hand settled over mine, taking comfort in my presence without seeking physical contact. It was obvious whose physical presence he was longing for.

Eventually, Quatre sniffled from the floor and it managed to catch Duo's attention. He pulled himself from my grasp and leaned over the edge of the bed to run his fingers through Quatre's hair.

"Can you let me take a look at you now?" he asked cautiously, aware and attuend to just how raw and exhausted Quatre was. "I know you're fine, but it would make me feel better if you'd let me check."

Eventually Quatre sighed and nodded, disentangling from Trowa and hauling himself onto the bed next to Duo. I pulled back and let Quatre settle next to Duo, leaning against Duo as he was too exhausted to hold himself up.

"Give us some space, guys," Duo asked, and Wufei, Trowa, and I rose and headed toward the door. But before we could leave, Duo called to us, and we paused and turned around. Quatre had returned to Duo's embrace, and with his face pressed against Duo's bare chest the bruising on his jaw stood out in stark relief. Duo's arms were wrapped protectively around Quatre, his cheek resting on the head of the nearly-sleeping blonde. But Duo's eyes were hard and serious, and he looked the part of the angel of death.

"Tonight. We end this tonight."

196 Duo

I'm not gonna tell you how shocked we were when, an hour after getting Quatre back, Wufei dropped the bomb on us. It was bad enough we'd just found out from Quatre that Zechs and Treize had been lovers (talk about bad taste in men!) But now Wufei proves that he's been holding out on us as well! I mean, Zechs? A spy? It was unreal.

"Che. I'm not surprised," I boasted, but I was just as shocked as the rest of them.

In the long run, it made sense. I mean, Zechs had always been descent, and what kind of descent human being would come into this hell of their own free will? Sure, there were some who had been coerced more than others by the power and influence that these people wielded, but even that was limited.

Still… What the fuck? Right?

I tried to have a quick sort through my emotions while the others were in varying stages of shock. There was a good bit of betrayal there, towards Zechs and a bit towards Wufei. I mean, Zechs treated us all with kidgloves, but Wufei? He should have known better. Should have told us, so we'd be ready.

And then there was uncertainty. Who did Zechs work for? What was their angle? It was hard to believe that the government, who had let this go unnoticed for years, might finally be taking the initiative to shut it down. A rival company, however, might put us in just as bad a situation as Collar had. Worse, even. I'd lived on the streets. I knew the kinds of bloodshed a power struggle could lead to. At least here, your only threat was from your own master. There were rules, of a sort. There were even steps put in place to keep the body count… limited. But under new management? It could be a slaughterhouse.

"This is a good thing," Wufei defended, seeing the rising shock and horror amongst Trowa, Heero, and Quatre. I think I was the only one leaning towards agreeing with him.

"At least this way, we've got a shot," I supported, crossing my arms and leaning back against the kitchen wall. I didn't have to worry about keeping my voice down this time, because the two guards were unconscious, tied up, and stuffed in the bathtub. I think Trowa and Heero, who the guards had dubbed as the easiest marks out of all of us, had taken special pleasure in getting close to them, and then smashing their heads against the walls. And considering the guard had just changed, we now had a four hour time window to get to Zechs before our escape was discovered.

"What do you mean?" Heero growled. I knew my lover hated surprises – hell, he'd probably pick out and wrap his own present than get something unexpected – but I didn't have time to coddle him. He was going to have to come around to the idea of having backup, and come around quick.

"Look, honestly? We have about a snowball's chance in hell of getting all of us out of here without help. Shinigami, remember? I've tried to escape more times than I can count, and I can only manage it maybe one out of ten times. And that's me, alone, and without the Owner's favorite pet along with us. Zechs is big, he's probably going to be drugged, and he's not used to sneaking around. Plus, he was a Master for the last year, meaning he's going to stick out like a sore thumb down in the bowels of this ship. And that's assuming I can find a craft that's leaving any time soon that has room enough for the six of us to hide on. So, yeah, our chances are pretty slim."

"So why would you let us go through with this?" Quatre squealed, his eyes wide and frightened at the implications of being caught after what we'd just done. For better or worse, we were committed to this now, and I forced myself to take a breath and calm down before continuing.

"Because a chance at freedom, however small it is, is still better than watching Zechs die. Because… Because even if..." and here I had to reach out and take hold of Heero's hand, because the thought was painful even to contemplate. "Even if we don't all make it out, at least we will have tried."

"We will all make it out," Wufei said, the steel of determination in his voice as he settled a hand on my shoulder. "I wouldn't have let us start this if I didn't think we had a chance. We can use the vidphone to contact Zechs' unit for help, then sneak him down to the docking bay to await rescue. It might be dangerous, but I know we can manage it."

"Will they come?" Trowa asked then, his voice deep and even, but I could tell by how closely he kept Quatre that he was scared. "How do we know that they will risk retrieving their operative once he's compromised?"

"If they took all the trouble of sending him in, they will be prepared to retrieve him," Wufei countered, and I could see that the thought had never even dawned on him, that the organization might sacrifice Zechs if it was easier for them.

"It doesn't matter," I found myself saying. "If they won't help us, then we'll do it ourselves, against all the odds. Fuck 'em! We've come through worse shit together, and we're not going to give up now!"

"We should probably contact them and see if they will help before you decide to do it on your own," Heero said, bringing me back down to reality. He was good at grounding me, my lover, and not for the first time I was glad to have his influence before I ran off to do something stupid.

"Sure," I teased, "if you want to do it the easy way."

So Wufei grabbed the vid from its hiding place and punched in the access code, and by this point in the night I don't think any of us were terribly surprised to see Sally's face pop up on the screen.

"Wufei?" she said, shocked and then suspicious. "How did you get this number," she asked, peering into the screen and trying to get a glimpse behind him. She looked haggard, with bags under her eyes. She was in her night clothes, and it looked like we had woke her from a pretty deep sleep. Time had little meaning in Collar, but I had to assume that it was somewhere near the asscrack of dawn where she was.

"Zechs gave it to me. Listen, this is important. Zechs has been captured by the Owner. Apparently they used to have a… relationship, and it has made Zechs valuable to him."

"Are we secure?" she asked, and I could tell she was taking a risk by talking to us.

"We have secured the perimeter, and this is the Owner's private line. It will not be tapped."

Her face was guarded now, her words measured. Something didn't ring true with it, but I couldn't figure out what.

"We are aware that Zechs has been… compromised. We are sending a team to retrieve the agent."

"But we don't know what state he is in. It could be too late by then."

"Wait…" she hesitated, confused now. "Why don't you know what state Zechs is in?"

"Our contact with him has been limited since he became the Owner's property."

"He separated you?" she asked, alarmed now.

"Of course. Why wouldn't he?"

"And Zechs allowed this?" she asked urgently, her face confused and troubled.

"What would Zechs be able to do to stop it?"

"I just…" she said, then hesitated again. "I thought…"

And then it clicked.

"You thought since Zechs and Treize used to be fuckbuddies, Zechs would be able to get away with whatever he wanted and keep us with him, right?"

Wufei rounded on me, shocked by my accusations and vulgarity both, but Sally's even stare told me I was right.

"It wasn't like that," she denied, but she couldn't deny the facts as they were.

"Look, lady, I don't give a shit what it was like," I hissed, pushing Wufei out of the way and taking the vidphone from him so that I could go nose-to-nose with our good friend Sally. "All I know is that you assholes knew all along who the Owner was and what Zechs meant to him. And instead of warning him about the situation, you threw him into it without a clue in hopes that the Owner would surface and snatch him up. You fucking used him as bait, and now he's being eaten alive!"

I was yelling then, and Wufei snatched the device out of my hands while Heero held me back and tried to calm me. But the blood was pounding in my ears, and all I could think was, "Those fucking bastards!"

By the time I had calmed, Wufei was ripping into Sally, just as furious over the betrayal as I was. But, finally, Sally broke through the outrage.

"Listen to me or Zechs will die!" she shouted, and it was enough to make Wufei hesitate and for me to come back to the conversation. "I need you all to get to Zechs, now! The rescue party is on its way, but they are honed in on the tracking devices that I implanted in you five!"

"Tracking devices don't work on Collar. Nothing does," Wufei protested.

There was a pregnant pause that made me think again that Sally was telling us far more than she was supposed. Then eventually she simply said, "These do."

"So why can't your team retrieve him and bring him to us?" Heero asked, always the one for the logical questions.

"Because he refused to get one. He thought it was too conspicuous, and I couldn't convince him otherwise." Here she looked pained, biting her lip as she contemplated her actions. I was pretty well in "fuck you" mode, though, and couldn't find it in me to be sympathetic for her. "I never thought it would be an issue, because I didn't think he'd be separated from you boys. But he needs you now!"

"We'll find him," I promised gravely, taking the vid from Wufei once again. "We'll find Zechs for you and we'll even let you get us out of here. But as soon as we're free of this place, I'm gonna do my damndest to make sure you and your cronies never get near him again."

And this time I really did pull back and let it fly, smashing the phone into a million pieces against the wall.

There was a shocked silence in the room, until Heero finally broke it by snorting.

"We could have used that," he chided. "Asked her more questions about who Zechs is working for and get a sense of what we're in for."

"What does it matter? It's not like we've got another choice," I defended. "Fuck it. Let's go get Zechs."

"Just like that?" Quatre wondered as I headed for the door. "Shouldn't we have a plan or something?"

"What for? We know where Zechs is, let's go get him."

"The plan," Heero interrupted, "is to dress Trowa and myself as guards and escort Quatre and Wufei to Treize's chambers. Duo will climb into the air vents and create a small, let me repeat small, diversion in the lower levels, and then climb up to join us in Treize's rooms. Chances are good that Treize will want to respond to the emergency in person, so Zechs will be alone and unguarded. We can sneak in and secure Zechs, then move him to the docking bays and wait for a retrieval."

"Or… yeah. We could do that."

Heero just smirked at me.

"Then I suppose the next logical step would be to get the guards out of their uniforms and make sure they'll fit well enough," Trowa put in, turning toward the door. Quatre followed closely behind, still off balance from his treatment at Treize's hands and the potential danger we all now faced. Heero kissed me and then followed, but I knew he could tell from my tension that I wasn't through yet. I called to Wufei before he could follow them, and as the other three disappeared around the corner in the bedroom my knuckles connected with Wufei's cheek.

Don't let it be said that Wufei is anybody's bitch. He came back up from the hit with eyes fierce and blazing, his own hands fisted and ready to strike back. But he also knows when to take his licks, and he stopped himself short of actually striking back.

"What was that for?" he snarled, but I wasn't about to rise to his anger and turn this into a fistfight. Instead, I sauntered forward until we were nose to nose.

"You should have told us," I accused quietly. "Zechs treats us all like kids, but you know better. You should have told us as soon as you found out, instead of waiting until it was almost too late."

"I…" he hesitated, then lowered his head. "I should have told you all when I first found out. I was hoping Zechs would see reason and give me more information. I didn't want to upset any of you or give you a reason to mistrust him. But these are all excuses, and my actions were inexcusable. I apologize," he said, and bowed to me. When he came back up, I slung an arm over the shoulder and kissed him on the forehead, both because I knew he'd hate it and because I didn't want this between us right now. Not when we were going into battle, and one of us might not make it back.

"It's cool," I found myself saying, pulling him with me as we went to meet up with Heero and the others. "Nobody's perfect, and family always forgives."

197 Zechs

"They're coming for you."

"Who?" I wondered, slowly turning to look at Treize across the room. I was still angry over the incident with Quatre, but there was something in his voice that made me look at him. That, and the fact that he had dosed me again with whatever drug had been in my iv, was making everything seem distant and unimportant.

"Don't play coy with me," he warned, but there was no edge to his voice. "I know your team is coming to get you. And, most likely, so are your boys."

He crossed the room then, in long, intimidating strides, until he knelt just in front of me.

"Will you be my downfall?" he wondered, stroking his knuckles across my cheek. "It's a risk having you here, but worth it in the long run, I think. There was no other way to find out how compromised my enterprise has been, than to play directly into their trap. And now I simply have to sit back and wait for the trap to close, and we'll see who is caught in the end," he said cryptically.

"I don't understand," I protested, his message baffling especially in my state of mind, but he just smiled and leaned in to kiss me.

"Of course you don't," he replied, and I could tell that he didn't believe me. There was a noise then, an urgent rapping at the door, and he separated from me.

"Enter," he called, and a guard stepped hastily inside, letting the door slide quickly closed behind him. "Let me guess," Treize continued, throwing me an amused and yet again baffling look as he said, "I suppose there's some kind of emergency. In the lower bays, I presume."

"There… Yes," the guard said, and finally someone looked at least as confused as I was. "Someone has set fire to your personal shuttle. It… It seems to be a personal attack on your character. Someone managed to write… to write 'fuckface rapist asshole' across your jet in flames."

"Ah," Treize said, but it was still with an amused undertone. "I don't suppose I should guess who could possibly be so brazen as to write that," he said, rolling his eyes toward me with that same amused smile. "I suppose I'll just go respond in person, then, shall I?" he said, placing his hands in his pockets and sauntering towards the door. "Don't try anything while I'm gone," he called as the door closed behind him.

Leaving only me and the equally baffled guard behind.

"You… don't know what all that was about, do you?" the guard asked me. He was dark haired and obviously young. I shook my head, uncertain if I was allowed to respond verbally. "I suppose I should… follow him, then."

And then it was just me.

But not for long.

Moments after the young guard had departed, two guards with hats pulled low over their faces marched Quatre and Wufei into the room. I blame the drugs for it taking me a moment longer to realize it was Heero and Trowa in the guard uniforms.

"What are you doing here?" I yelped, leaping unsteadily from my seat on the sofa to come to the four slaves, kneeling in front of Quatre. Dressed and in the presence of the other boys, he looked almost nothing like the scared teen that had run out of these rooms hours ago, but he came into my embrace just as quickly. "Where's Duo?" I asked, my arms still full of Quatre but my eyes scanning for the long-haired teen.

"He's creating an undoubtedly large and brazen distraction," Heero answered as I rose to my feet. I went to him, and then Trowa, needing to touch their skin and reassure myself that they alright, despite being right in front of me. "He should be joining us any time."

"And then what?" I wondered, and by now I was face-to-face with Wufei, so my question was posed to him. My arms came to his shoulders to lean on him for balance. Of its own accord, my hand went to his face, my thumb stroking his cheek. If only for a moment, I couldn't deny myself the small comfort.

"And then…" he hesitated, looking guiltily from me to the other boys and then back again. "Then we await rescue."

"Rescue?" I wondered, pulling away from him in surprise and nearly falling as the world shifted under me. "What rescue? You mean…" I was more livid than I had thought the drugs would allow, and had to take a deep breath to calm myself. "You told them?" I growled.

"Yes. They deserve to know. They…" But I cut him off before he could build himself into a righteous frenzy.

"They are in danger now," I growled. "He'll think they're agents! We need to get all of you back, now, and hide this! You don't know what kind of danger you're all in!"

"We're not children, damn you!" Wufei snarled. "They were willing to take that risk for you!"

"You don't know what you're talking about! He won't let this go!" I yelled, adrenaline surging in me as I tried to figure out how I could possibly cover this up, could put it back to the way it was, and keep them safe from Treize.

"Master, please," Quatre begged, and his hand on my arm made me stop. "We wanted to help with the rescue," Quatre he said, and it broke my heart to have to be the one to crush his hopes.

"Boys… There isn't going to be a rescue. There wasn't an escape plan, because no one thought I would be caught. I'm sorry."

But now it was their turn to look confused, casting questioning glances between each other.

"Zechs," came Wufei finally. "There is a rescue. We talked to Sally, and she said to find you because there is a team on the way."

"There's… But there can't be. They'll never be able to get into the satellite, it's a virtual fortress."

"So… she lied?"

"On the contrary," came a chilling voice from the door way, and all of us jumped. I stepped between Wufei and Treize, putting myself between him and my boys as he stepped into the room and closed the door. He'd been lying in wait, then, for my slaves. That was what all the half-covered implications had been; he thought I'd asked them to come to me.

"I have full confidence that an extraction team is on the way," he continued. "A second team that has been in my games for just as long, or perhaps even longer than you. They are your rescue party, and they aren't here to break into the satellite, but to break you out. And possibly take me with you."

"Another…" I was shocked, unable to even make the words for my questions. Another team? What did that mean? Why hadn't I been told? What were they for? Who were they? The questions rolled in my head but I could find no single thought to anchor them. The drugs in my system were warring with the stress I was under, and I found myself growing nauseous. When I managed to center myself, I was surprised to find that Treize had moved and was now peering at my face, his nose only inches from my own.

"I had thought…" his voice trailed, his eyes searching mine for sincerity. "I had thought you knew. But I suppose it was easier for them to leave you in the dark." His fingers trailed over my jaw and up my cheek. "It's better this way. I would hate to have all your hopes riding on this, only to have to crush them."

He backed away then, his eyes trailing over the four slaves behind me with an approving light.

"It was a good plan, boys," he told them. "Should I expect the Shinigami soon? I assume that he's finished with his demolition now that he's desecrated my shuttle."

"Duo won't be as easily caught," Heero warned, but Treize only smiled.

"Oh, I think he'll come right to me if I have the four of you here. He's probably already watching," Treize said, then glanced inexplicably towards the ceiling. "and if he doesn't want something to happen to one of his little friends," Treize said, then grabbed Quatre twisted his arm behind his back, "he'll make an appearance," Treize finished expectantly. When nothing happened, he twisted, causing Quatre to squeal. I was on my feet and ready to intercede when I heard the shuffling in the ceiling and an echoed, "Alright!" before Duo kicked out the cover to the air vent and dropped out of the ceiling. Covered in dust, with his hair freed from its usual braid and tangled in a mess behind him, Duo looked nearly savage as he glared at Treize with murder in his eyes. But Treize only smiled and shoved Quatre back toward Trowa.

"So this is the full five of them?" Treize said, surveying the group. "You would have made an excellent tactical squad. Too bad Zechs has managed to turn you from fighting dogs into house pets. But I suppose there are some benefits," he said as he approached Duo, twining his fingers through a strand of Duo's loose hair, "to having such talented, lovely young men warming my bed."

"I'm not warming anything for you," Duo snarled, but it still couldn't shake Treize's calm. Instead, he smiled savagely.

"We'll see," he replied, and I was alarmed that Treize seemed to be enjoying the challenge.

But then, thankfully, he backed away and turned to address the group.

"I'm not surprised you managed to get past my guards, as skilled as you are, but I want you to know that whatever clemency I extend to you now for your actions applies only to what has happened prior to when you arrived here."

"Clemency?" I wondered, and had to seat myself on the couch, because my head was spinning.

"Well, I'm not going to punish your slaves for their… willfulness before I've had time to train them." And his attention was back on Duo again. "And I will enjoy training them."

Duo bristled, but amazingly held enough common sense to hold his tongue.

"What are you saying?" Wufei cut in, who was just as on edge as Duo.

"I'm saying that I will give you on chance, here and now, to swear loyalty to me. If you do, I can promise that you will stay alive and stay together with Zechs. I will forgive any transgressions you have made today, and I will mold you all into exemplary soldiers and slaves for my use and my pleasure. If you refuse, I can guarantee that you will not leave this room alive, and your master will watch you die."

There was absolute silence in the room, and I had to put my head between my knees as another wave of nausea hit me.

"Yeah, fuck that shit," and that was Duo, obviously. "I didn't come all the way up here through your dirty air vents – and don't you have people to clean those? – just so I can give up and roll over for you, asshole."

"Duo," I warned, but it lacked conviction with my head between my knees.

"Fuck you too, Zechs, if you're just gonna let him walk all over you! We've come too far to let you give up now!"

"Is this some sort of stress reaction?" Treize wondered, and I wasn't too overwhelmed by dizziness to smile.

"No, this is pretty much how he is all the time," I replied, but Treize frowned. To him, the disrespect wasn't amusing and endearing. To someone who was used to total control, it was an outrage. "Treize," I called, trying to diffuse the arising situation, but Treize was already strolling toward my longhaired slave. Duo, though, wasn't one to be intimidated, and when Treize towered over him, Duo just threw his shoulders back and went nose to nose with the Owner.

"A slave under my care does not talk in such vulgar ways," Treize growled, but Duo just sneered.

"Good thing I'm not your fucking slave then, asshole."

198 Zechs

And I was on my feet as Treize reached for Duo, nearly falling again as Duo pulled back and landed a solid hit to Treize's jaw. Treize snarled, a trail of blood leaking down his chin, and I tried to get between them but I stumbled before I could get more than a step away from the couch, landing in a heap beside it. Quatre came to me, and I saw what Treize was about to do only a moment before he did. Unable to move, I shouted a warning to Duo and covered Quatre's eyes, but it was already too late. Treize had Duo by the wrist, and a fierce jerk in the wrong direction and the accompanying pops signaled that it had been broken in multiple places.

Duo screamed, then cursed a blue streak as Heero kicked Treize in the ribs, knocking him away from Duo and pulling his lover behind the couch for shielding. I tried to shove Quatre behind the couch but my coordination was still off. Luckily Trowa had the same idea and took Quatre from me, dragging him behind the couch with Duo. By the time he returned and helped me to my feet, Treize had also recovered.

"I see all your slaves are wayward as the Shinigami," Treize laughed, wiping the smear of blood from his face. "I will enjoy teaching all of them some manners," he said viciously, eyeing Heero and Duo. But it was Wufei who stepped forward and said enough.

"Do we really have to dance to this tune again?" Treize asked, his confident smirk unshaken in the face of Wufei's barely contained rage. "After all, we both know how this ends."

"It isn't the same," Wufei countered, his eyes flicking to me for just a moment before turning back to Treize. "I have something to fight for this time, and I won't let you take that from me."

"Don't act to noble, Wufei," Treize sneered. "Don't forget that you're the one who sold him out to me. You're the one who doubted, and they're all paying for it now."

I could tell from the stillness in Trowa that this should have shocked me, but I was barely keeping up with the conversation. My eyes were aching and I leaned my face against Trowa's chest, and I could feel him looking at me with worry even as I heard Duo in the background saying, "What the fuck, Wufei? You fucking sold us out?"

"I made an error in judgment," Wufei replied tersely. "That I now regret. Had I won Collar, this might have been avoided. Or things might have been worse. I made the decision I thought best at the time, and now we will deal with the consequences."

"Yeah, tell that to my broken fucking arm."

"Enough!" Treize snarled, and there was the sound of a blade being unsheathed. I looked back in time to see Treize tossing a blade to Wufei. "Sword fighting was your best skill, correct? Well, your strongest fighting skill," Treize teased, but Wufei was too angry to be embarrassed. Instead, he struck out, and as the swords clashed together I felt a drop of moisture on my sleeve, and looked down to see blood. My hand came to my face and I realized that my nose was bleeding. I brought my sleeve up to cover it, hoping that at least if I was too sick to help Wufei I wouldn't be a distraction to him.

Another clash of blades brought me back to the fight, and I could see that Wufei was holding his own valiantly, but that Treize was still a larger, stronger opponent. Wufei was quick, but Treize was experienced and he was giving no quarter.

"If I had known it would make you this fierce, it's have given you to another master long ago," Treize said, pinning Wufei against a wall, their swords crossed and scraping against each other. "I haven't seen this much fire in you since I first bested you."

"This time I'll burn you, you bastard!" Wufei screamed, throwing Treize off of him. Treize stumbled, but recovered gracefully and rushed Wufei again. I got lost in their movements, the swing and parry, the clang of the swords, and time began to slip by. By the time I realized that I was beginning to lose consciousness, Wufei and Treize were both covered in sweat, a small wound on Treize's thigh and several similar ones on Wufei's arms.

And I realized, with a start, that the blood from my nose didn't seem to be slowing, and it had soaked through my sleeve and was now dribbling down my arm. Even with all his attention on the fight, Trowa could not overlook the liquid dropping onto his chest, and he turned to me and cursed. Ripping a piece from his borrowed uniform, Trowa called for Heero, who carefully slipped around the fighting pair to come to me. Together they lowered me to the floor, allowing me to rest against the overturned couch, and Quatre slipped around from behind the couch to help hold me up.

"What the hell happened?" Heero asked, peering into my eyes. I tried to speak for a moment before I realized that he hadn't been asking me.

"I don't know," Trowa replied. "He seemed drugged when he came in, but he didn't actually hurt himself. I was watching to make sure he didn't. Maybe he's having a bad reaction?"

"Is he going to be okay?" Quatre asked, but Heero ignored him, because I think they both knew that something was very wrong with me.

"Wufei!" Heero shouted, "better move this along," he advised, and I knew that Wufei would simply nod even though I couldn't see the fight around Heero.

"What the hell is going on?" Duo shouted from the other side of the room.

"Zechs is… sick. We need to get him out of here as soon as possible."

"This is all your fault, asshole!" Duo shouted at Treize, unable to get in his face with his arm broken like it was. "Can't you even take care of one fucking slave? No wonder your whole enterprise is going under!"

There was a knocking at the door then, and a shout of, "Preventers!" Treize faltered for a moment, and I don't think he expected them to make it so far so soon. But then he smiled again, his confidence back, and he said, "It seems it is time to end this game."

And then he lunged at Wufei. His sword pointed at Wufei's chest, and Wufei wasn't quick enough to bring his sword up, and then it was too late because Treize's sword was only inches from Wufei's body and he couldn't block it then anyway. I pulled myself to my knees and screamed, but there was nothing I could do.

But in those last final moments before the blade would have pierced his heart, Wufei took a page out of Duo's book and dropped to the floor, sliding between Treize's legs, and leaving Treize's sword nothing to find but thin air. And from the floor between Treize's feet Wufei made his move, thrusting his blade straight up and through Treize's chest.

They hovered like that for a moment, with Wufei flat on his back and supporting most of Treize's weight on the end of his blade, with Treize impaled and gushing blood down Wufei's sword and arm, until finally Treize fell to the side, the blade coming out of his chest as Wufei refused to release his hold.

Duo whooped and I smiled, knowing that my boys were now safe. But that was all I could manage. And as the rescue team, whoever they were, broke down the door and came flooding in, I let myself fall to the floor.

"Zechs!" Wufei screamed, dashing to me. Another, strangely familiar voice yelled, "Commander!" and then there were two sets of arms rolling me over and sitting me up.

But the face I saw when my vision cleared made me cringe, and I shoved him away as harshly as possible. I caught his scent and heaved, my slaves gathering protectively around me as they sensed my turmoil. Had I been able, I would have jumped to my feet and run through the bastard who had seen me at my lowest, and had taken advantage of that. I could still taste him in my mouth, still feel the burn of humiliation, and that alone gave me the strength to maintain consciousness.

"You bastard!" I snarled as Saiya fell back, his dark eyes impassive. "Get away from me!"

"Who are you?" Wufei hissed, leveling his blood-covered blade at the intruder.

"Listen to me," Saiya said, and I stilled only because his hands were held harmlessly at his sides, and his slaves too were forming a protective ring behind him. "I know you don't remember me fondly, and I apologize for any harm I may have caused you," he said, then paused and cast an appealing glance at my slaves. "But I am the other agent preventers sent, and like it or not I am here to rescue you. I've already neutralized Argo, Rebbekka, and Tanion. Now that Treize is finished, we can evacuate you and your team. You have to believe me, I'm on your side."

"Prove it," I demanded, but I knew it was true even before he read me the secret code for infiltration missions. "You can't be an agent," I denied, but I knew already that it was true.

"When I saw you at Treize's side, I thought my cover had been blown," Saiya explained hurriedly, as though it was important that I know, now, his motives, "I thought that Treize had brought me there to let you expose me. When you didn't recognize me, I still couldn't be sure that Treize didn't suspect a link, so I… played my role. I'm sorry it had to happen to you, Commander," he apologized, and was it unfair of me to think he'd gone too far? To hope that this, perhaps, was outside of what my supervisors would allow?

But I was still reeling from the shock, and the next words left my mouth thoughtlessly, and opened doors that I really would have preferred left shut.

"Why would preventers send another team after me? Why send a decoy without telling me?"

And there was guilt in Saiya's eyes, just a glimmer, and that told me everything I needed to know.

"You weren't a decoy, then," I said steadily, trying to maintain my calm and accept the facts as they were. "I was."

"I'm sorry, Commander. The head of the mission knew who the Owner was, knew your relationship with him, and thought they could use you to lure him out."

"Bait, then. Even better."

"They felt that it was better if you weren't aware of the situation, in case he compromised you, sir," he said, and the tone was respectful enough but I could see the cogs turning in his head. I could see him trying to match up the slave that had sucked his cock like a whore and the commander who had been on battle fields and in surgery tents both. And I could see that he'd never be able to respect me as a commander again, no matter what he might say about motives and situations.

"You mean in case I fell back in love with my old partner and sold out Preventers, is that what you mean?" I snarled, and the words burned in my throat. Treize must have known how naive I was. If I had truly had any information for him, would I have been able to withhold it? The fact that I was doubting myself was reason enough to believe that the Preventers' had made the right choice, but the betrayal burned just the same.

"I do not know the reasons they had for sending into the mission half-informed, sir, but I was not notified of this development until after you had already been introduced at Collar," he said.

"Because they're absolute bastards," came a wheezy, wet voice from across the room. I turned to find that Treize had managed to prop himself up, despite the wound in his chest, and was listening avidly to our conversation. "I should have known it was you. It was too much of a coincidence that two of our most recent additions rose through the ranks the way you two did. Tell me, Zechs, after hearing all this, are you sure you're still working for the right side?" he asked, then began to cough up blood.

"We defeated you, didn't we?" Saiya sneered, but it only made Treize laugh.

"You think you've won, and maybe you have, but you'll never celebrate victory with him."

"Why not?" Wufei snarled, surprising everyone by jumping up to loom over Treize. "Why would you say that?" Wufei screamed, but Treize laughed until Wufei planted his foot on the wound on Treize's chest and pressed his weight down.

"Because…" Treize gasped, then choked on blood. "Because I've been dosing him with a chemical compound that breaks down his nervous system. If I can't have him, no one will!" he shouted, his body convulsing and blood spurting from his mouth as he choked on his last breath. His face turned toward me, and I could tell that he was dying.

"I'll see you on the other side, my love," he told me, and then the light faded from his eyes.

"I'll meet you in hell," I promised, and the light began to fade for me too.

199 Wufei

For a long time, we thought he would die.

In the ship, he went into convulsions. I held him while his body shook, while Heero and Trowa tried to restrain his flailing limbs, and while Quatre tried restrain a panicking Duo.

"He can't die!" Duo shouted, like denying it would somehow make it true. "He can't die! Not now! Not when we've finally won!"

"You're not helping!" I yelled back at him, flinching as Zechs' arm came free of Heero's grip and smashed me across the face. There was a tear on my lip from my fight with Treize and it easily came open again, the salty tang of blood flooding my mouth. But I ignored it, holding tighter to Zechs torso as Heero grasped the wayward limb.

"Fuck you, Wufei!" Duo snarled, and it didn't help much that I knew he was half delirious from the pain of his injuries. "He's going to die and you're not even doing anything about it!"

"He's not…" I started, but stopped myself. I wanted to assure him that Zechs would not die, that he would recover and everything would be fine. But my lips wouldn't form the words, because I didn't know if I believed it myself. And this time, the lie would simply be too painful. "We're doing everything we can," I said in a calmer tone, but it wasn't enough for Duo. Instead, he rounded on our self-proclaimed saviors.

"And you fucks! You rescued him, so fucking save him!" Duo yelled.

"There isn't anything we can do until we touch down on earth," their leader explained. "We don't know what he's been on, so there's nothing we can give him. We don't know how our drugs might interact with the one already in his system."

"So we just have to watch him die?"

"He's stabilized as much as possible for now," Saiya denied. "There's a medical team set to meet us as soon as we touch down. Now just calm down and try to let the pain meds kick in."

"Fuck you and your pain meds," Duo growled, but it lacked the venom it had only moments before, and I could tell that the pain from his arm was numbing as the drugs Saiya had administered kicked in. Quatre shushed him, leaning over to pull Duo into an embrace as he settled. The spasms in Zechs seemed to be abating as well, and while I wasn't sure if I could take that as a good sign, I allowed myself to relax my hold incrementally.

Silence fell then, over the five of us and Saiya and his six slaves, all of us scattered on the floor of an old transport ship. It was so basic that it didn't even have seats for more than the pilot and copilot, which Saiya and one of his slaves occupied. The rest of it was bare steel walls and riveted floors, meant only to transport cargo or, in some cases, human cattle. But it seemed sturdy enough, and it flew quickly and silently. In the front window, I could see other, military-looking ships passing by, headed presumably for the unprotected satellite. But we were headed away from the battle, and inside the ship it was practically still.

The only noise was Zechs' labored breathing, wet and wheezy from the blood running down his nasal passages. He'd gone pale, his skin nearly translucent and his hair looking waxen and white. His face was drawn and pained, his body rigid. He was fighting his last battle, valiantly, but unlike mine he fought his alone.

A tear slipped down my shoulder, but I wiped it away before the others could see. I wouldn't be able to stand it if they gave up hope. Because that was pretty much all that was left.

Had I made another wrong decision? Doubting myself now was pointless, but the thought kept creeping into my mind. Would it have been better to leave him with Treize? Certainly it would have been a nightmarish hell for us, but was it truly worse than a world without him? If he would sacrifice himself for us in that manner, what did it say that we had not done the same?

"It would have killed him anyway," came Quatre's voice from across the ship. I looked up to find him staring at me, and I realized with a start that he had been off his meds for several days now, and was strongly empathic.

"You don't know that," I denied, but it was Quatre who shook his head.

"He was failing even before Treize gave him this drug. Maybe he would have lived under that monster, but he would not have been the master we knew, and he would not have wanted to be alive."

"But he wouldn't be…" and then I stopped myself, because the word "dying" was too painful to even utter, and I almost sobbed at the thought of it. But Quatre could sense my distress and tried to comfort me.

"Be happy, Wufei. You've destroyed the monster that enslave us all."

"Yes, but did I sacrifice my prince to do it?"

"No," and this denial came from Heero, who had curled himself at Zechs' side now that the spasms had abated, and had laced his fingers with Zechs' unresponsive ones. "He will live. Your doubt and self-pity will not change that."

"I wasn't…" I started, then colored when I realized how self-serving I must have sounded. Of course I wouldn't leave Zechs with Treize. I knew from experience that it would be better to be dead than at the mercy of that bastard. "I'm sorry. I'm just… worried."

"We all are," Heero said, taking his other hand and lacing his fingers with mine, which instinctively tightened and clutched at his. "But you have to believe that he will be alright. That he'll pull through, for us."

Trowa, curled on the other side in a similar fashion, nodded his head sagely.

I allowed myself to relax for a moment, feeling a spark of hope, but it wasn't to be. In the next instant, Zechs couch and another spasm took him, and it was all I could do to hold on and ride it out with him. By the end he was gasping again, his heartbeat weak and unsteady.

"Bring him up here," Saiya called, and motioned for his slave to vacate the copilot seat. "There are oxygen masks built into the overhead in case of a hull breach. It might help him breathe more easily," Sayia offered, and then rose to help us, but Heero stood and blocked his way.

"We can handle it," Heero said, and I thought for a moment that Saiya might protest, but eventually he nodded and sat back down. Gently, almost reverently, Heero and Trowa lifted Zechs, one on either side, and carried him to the copilot's chair and strapped him in. Saiya pulled the oxygen mask out of the overhead, but I took it from him before he could place it on Zechs' face. With a quick breath to make sure it was working, I placed it over Zechs' face.

He hardly looked alive, then. Strapped into the chair so well that even a seizure wouldn't pull him free, it was hard to even see his chest moving as he breathed. And with his ashen skin and his face and chest covered in his own blood, the rest of him hardly looked living. Like a corpse we'd decided to dress up like a marionette, and I bent to kiss his cheek because I couldn't stand to look any longer.

"You should sit down," Saiya cautioned, motioning for me to return to the floor with the others. "We'll be landing soon and you might fall on him."

And the implication that I could hurt him again had me returning to the floor against my instincts. I still didn't trust Saiya, didn't like the way Zechs had reacted to him, didn't know if he was truly going to help us. Zechs had gone with him willingly, and so we wouldn't try to escape from him, but I didn't feel right about him. But perhaps it was simply that he had saved Zechs, where I had nearly killed him.

I settled beside Heero and Trowa, pulling my knees to my chest and trying to replace Zechs' warmth. Duo had passed out from the stress and the meds, and Quatre was nodding off above him. Even Saiya's team was succumbing to the quiet, and I saw the group of three across from me slowly slip into sleep. So it wasn't until Heero fell into my lap, unconscious, that I began to suspect something was amiss. My eyes went to Saiya to find that he had donned the second oxygen mask, fully alert and awake. It was only then that I realized he had lowered the oxygen content in the cabin. I had only a moment to feel a sharp stab of fear, and then I was succumbing to the darkness myself.

I awoke in a small white room, lying on a padded cot. I rose immediately, my eyes searching for the others and finding them lying on identical cots, three lined up against each wall and one empty. Nothing had changed since we'd fallen unconscious in the plane except that Duo's shirt had been removed and his arm had been set in a cast. Still, it set my teeth on edge, that these people had knocked us out and maneuvered us against our will.

And Zechs was conspicuously absent.

There was a chair at the front of the room, and seated in it was Sally, looking over a palm computer in her hands. There was nothing else in the room except for the imposing brown door and the stark, overhead lighting.

"Where's Zechs?" I said, and it reverberated in the nearly empty room. Sally's eyes snapped up to meet mine, but they were tired and strained.

"He's stable. We have him in an intensive care unit and he's in bad shape, but he's stabilized and is not in immediate danger."

"Your agent knocked us out," I accused, and she hesitated.

"Agent Sai felt that it would be better if you were not awake when we came to transport Zechs. He felt that you would be confused and agitated, and try to prevent us from taking Zechs for treatment. He made the right call, Wufei. Any longer, and we might not have been able to save him."

I wanted to deny that, but Heero was awake now, and had gone to Duo to rouse him.

"Duo was sedated more heavily than the rest of you so that we could mend his arm," Sally cautioned, "He might not wake yet, or he might be groggy."

"Tell 'er to fuck off."

"Or he might be his usual self," she commented quietly, but there was a flicker of a smile.

"'Ro? Was goin' on?"

"We're safe. Sally fixed your arm, that's why you feel weird."

"Where's Zechs?"

"He's safe," Heero said, perching himself on Duo's cot and helping the braided boy to sit up. "Sally was just telling us that he's in stable condition," Heero explained, and attention, including the attention of recently awakened Quatre and Trowa, turned back to Sally. She composed herself quickly and began to speak.

"So, let me go over some things before you begin to ask questions. Firstly, Zechs, myself, and Agent Sai are all members of a government organization that was sent to infiltrate and disband Collar. You are all officially free men."

And that notice should have held something for me, some joy or excitement. But with Zechs' state of health looming in my mind, there was nothing but a hollow resonance that I was, perhaps, alone in this now. Without our leader, would we all be separated?

"Your records will be returned, your families will be notified, and your identities will be verified in cases of faked deaths."

"What if we don't want our families notified?" Quatre blurted, covering his mouth when it was too late to take back. Sally contemplated him for a moment, and I could see that the question had taken her off guard. It was possible that the process of notifying kin had already begun.

"We… will have to discuss that at length. The organization was under the assumption that many of you were kidnapped, and your families would be happy to take you back."

"Your organization has been taking a lot of liberties with us lately," I chided. "Almost as many as Treize's did." And she flinched as if she'd been slapped, but then grew angry, flicking her computer onto the empty bed to her left.

"Look, Wufei, I know you're not happy about how this organization has been treating you, and I know some of that stems from the fact that we kept Zechs in the dark about the other team. But let me tell you something; he volunteered for this mission. We didn't force him to go into it, and we didn't agree to tell him everything before he went. He would have gladly died for you to be free, and he almost did. Now I have my own feelings of guilt about everything that Zechs was put through, and when he gets better I'll deal with him on my own. But I don't need you or anyone else giving attitude and making things worse. I've already got my hands full trying to figure out how to talk to over a thousand terrified slaves who think this is all some big mind fuck. Not to mention finding the ones who weren't on the satellite. So you want to blame me? Fine. But I'm doing my best, and I don't need your attitude."

That silenced me. Perhaps not the part about my attitude, but somehow her honest admission of guilt did more to silence my feelings of unease than anything else. The way Zechs had been treated was not behavior I expected from Sally, and her admittance that she regretted it helped to quell my fear that perhaps I did not know her well enough.

"Now," she continued, picking her computer back up. "I know this is a big change for everyone, and I know there will be issues," she said, and her eyes slipped to Quatre. "But we will do our best to respect your wishes. I've verified all of your ages and filed for new or replacement citizenship documentation. But the point is, you are all adults, capable of making your own decisions. Whatever path this organization tries to set you on, it's all your decision."

"All of us?" and this was Quatre again, looking shaken since his family had been mentioned.

"I know it's impossible to keep track of these things in your circumstances, but you have all lost a few years somewhere. Quatre, you're the youngest, but you'll turn 19 this year. So, yes, you're all adults, and no one can force you into anything."

"And the ones that are younger?" Trowa asked, his quiet voice piercing the room.

"We're… not entirely sure yet. Technically they should all be returned to their families, but we're not sure their families will be able to cope with the level of abuse they've suffered. Many of them are orphans or runaways, right on the cusp of adulthood anyway. We've been thinking of boarding the ones without homes or with the worst of abuse somewhere until they are stable."

"And us?" I questioned.

"You five are fairly well rehabilitated already because of Zechs. Until he awakens, or until you decide to leave, we were going to return you to his property and allow you to stay with the other slaves in his possession. Because none of you are in immediate danger, we did not want to move you until we've rescued the more critical cases."

"And what of Zechs?" I found myself asking, my mouth going dry. "When will he awaken? Will he awaken at all?"

There was silence in the room, and Sally contemplated the bed to her left sadly. I didn't know what could be so fascinating about the empty white sheets until she said, "This room was set up for the six of you. You five boys, and Zechs. It wasn't until he arrived here that I realized how cruel Treize had been to him."

She turned to me then, her eyes watery.

"I never thought Treize was that sort of person. Never thought he'd do those things to a person he loved. No one was prepared for just how horrible Collar was. We all thought… It doesn't matter. Let me tell you about Zechs. The drugs that he was on… It's… It's a nasty cocktail in Zechs' system. This kind of toxin attacks the central nervous system. It pools in the extremities and slowly progresses to the torso, causing paralysis in first the limbs and then organs. Treize was feeding him both the poison and the neutralizing agent, probably hoping to use him as a bargaining chip. When he was finally taken out, it looks from the report like he decided he'd rather Zechs die with him. Without access to the neutralizing agent, Zechs' systems began to shut down. We've halted the progression, so he's stabilized now, but there's no way to tell how bad the damage is until he wakes up. He might be completely fine. But you need to be prepared for the worst. He might never walk again."

There was silence, then, as we all absorbed the fact that Zechs might not walk away from this unscarred. He had always seemed so strong to us, almost superhuman in his ability to control and overcome obstacles. The thought of him never waking or never walking was almost impossible to contemplate.

"Do you have any questions?" Sally asked.

I could think of only one.

"Can we see him?

200 Zechs

The world I woke up to was not the least bit the same.

It took me a long time to come back, that much I knew. There was a time, while I hovered on the edge of… something, that I wasn't sure I would be able. But I could feel Wufei by my side, holding me tight, and I couldn't leave that behind. More than anything, I wanted to awaken and kiss those lips one last time.

And the others. Duo's laughter. Quatre's kindness. Heero's strength. Trowa's beauty. I missed them all, but nothing more than Wufei's passion.

I heard snippets, eventually. Fighting. Not physical fights, but lots of yelling. And cursing, in Duo's case. I would have smiled, had I any control of the muscles of my face.

"…you can't stay here."

"We're not leaving him, Sally."

"My supervisors will have my head if they find you all sleeping in his room."

"Just give us a couple days. Not to offend, but we don't trust your men to bring us back. And Zechs does better when we're here."

"Fine. Fine. Do whatever you want. Never stopped any of you before anyway. But you only have a week!"

Darkness. Hours. Days. A television played. Meals came and went. I had confidence that Sally would keep my boys fed, even if it was hospital food. Sometimes my eyes were open and I could get a glimmer of the room or a face. More often they were closed and refused to open. There was a pounding in my head that grew when I was more aware, and dulled when I slept. I came to understand that I was being drugged with pain medicine for my recovery, and that the reduction of said meds might have made me more lucid, but probably would have made the aching in my head intolerable.

There was another fight, but this time the boys were more upset. Their anger hummed through me like a vibration in the room, and my eyes were open enough for me to catch a glimpse of hulking forms in the doorway.

"…here for Master Quatre! We will be taking him home!"

"Quatre does not wish to speak with you. When he does, he will contact you. As we have said multiple times before."

"Yeah, fuck off!"

"Duo! Quiet!"

"I do not believe Master Quatre would refuse to speak with us! You are holding him against his will!"

I felt pressure on my hand, and it was only then that I realized someone was squeezing it very hard.

"I'm going to have to be brave, aren't I?" came Quatre's quiet voice from beside me. "I'm going to have to face them before they attack Wufei."

I wished that I could encourage him, to tell him that he was braver and stronger than he thought and he could definitely tell the men off, or at least to reassure him that Wufei could handle his own if they attacked him. But I was silent, continuing to lie still as a corpse as the pressure on my hand eased and Quatre rose.

"I will not be going anywhere with you."

And was that my Quatre, sounding so confident and decisive? The hulking forms fell back a step from his presence, and I heard Trowa and Heero move to flank him.

"But Master Quatre, the family has been so worried."

"The family sold me! Or didn't my sister tell you that?" Quatre yelled, and I heard the large man fall back another step. There was quiet again, and I worried for a moment that I had fallen unconscious again and was missing the argument. But then Quatre's voice returned, calm once again. "I won't go back to my family until I know that everyone there is loyal to me. This man rescued me from the hell I was sold into, but I won't be so lucky again. This has been my family for the last year, and I am closer to them than to any of my blood relatives."

"I… understand, Master Quatre. I can see that you are not abused and afraid, as we were led to believe. We will leave you in peace, with the open invitation to return once you feel secure. And we will look into these… issues you have brought to our attention, and they will be brought to justice. I know you have been told of your father's passing, but I want you to know that the lion's share of your father's estate has been held in trust for you. When you feel capable, I hope you will return to claim it. Until then, may Allah watch over your friend's recovery."

And then the hulking forms retreated, and I was left with a blurry view of the empty doorway and no real way to tell how Quatre was doing. I needn't have worried, though, because Trowa guided Quatre to sit down beside me, and the fingers he laced with mine were shaky, but his grasp was firm. And as the sounds began to fade, I heard Trowa lean in and ask, "Who's Allah?"

The next time I opened my eyes there was no sound. Only the vision, perfectly clear, of Trowa in a woman's arms. And I knew from her clothing and from the way Trowa held her that this was the sister from the circus that he had told me of. It was obvious that she was ecstatic to see him, and I could tell from Quatre's stance that he felt threatened by her. But there was nothing I could do to intervene, and as my sight faded I saw Trowa introduce his sister to his lover. And my last vision was of the sister pulling Quatre into a hug, and Quatre finally relaxing.

Doctor's and nurse's voices became a constant drone in the background. I remember hearing Sally say, "His neuro-pathways are trying to rewire themselves around the damage. That's why he's having trouble coming around, why he fades in and out." But as hard as I tried, I couldn't remember when she'd said it, or who she'd been talking to.

I could remember Wufei talking on a vid with someone in low, angry tones in Mandarin, but this memory as well was out of sync with the others. It ended with Wufei throwing something, though whether it was the vid or something else I couldn't tell.

When I woke, really woke, it was the dead of night. No one was around, and it was the first time I had awoken alone. I tried to sit up, but my torso wouldn't cooperate. I managed to turn my head, and found that Wufei alone was sleeping next to my bed in one of the steel chairs. His hair was in disarray, matted and with several strands escaping his usual ponytail. His head was pillowed on his arms, but he roused when my head moved. There were deep bruises under his eyes, testament to how little sleep he'd been getting.

"Zechs?" he asked, rubbing at his eyes. "Are you awake?"

"I think so," I said, my voice gravely with disuse and Wufei grabbed a glass of water and held it to my lips.

"Just a little," he cautioned, pulling it away after I'd had a sip. "Sally said you might have trouble swallowing at first."

"Did she say what else I might have trouble with?"

"She… I should probably let her explain."

"It's alright, I've heard bits and pieces," I told him, trying to raise my hand. It moved, hovering only inches above the bed, but none of the fingers would close. Experimentally, I wiggled my toes. The feet themselves seemed stiff, but all the toes moved without hesitation. "Neurological damage, then? I suppose we'll have to see how bad the damage is."

"You're not… I thought you'd be more upset. They said… you might not be able to be an agent anymore."

"I would be, but I've had… a week?"

"Two weeks."

"Two weeks, then, to think about it. And… after everything that's happened… I'm not sure I want to do this anymore."

"After the way they treated you," Wufei snarled, but there was no anger left in me, and I managed to make my hand move on top of his.

"I wish they had told me I was going to be bait. It would have made things easier, and I would have agreed all the same, but I can understand that they didn't want to take that risk. I volunteered to put my life on the line to rescue you boys, and that's exactly what I did. It was worth the price, but… I don't want do that any longer. I have something to live for now," I told him, and then smiled and patted the bed beside me.

"Don't let me hurt you," Wufei cautioned, and it spoke of how desperate he was for my touch, that he didn't protest crawling in beside me. "You're still recovering."

"Oh Wufei," I chided, stroking his hair as he slid in beside me. "I'll be recovering for a long time." And then I slipped him a quick kiss. "The rest of my life, if you'll be there with me."

"I thought…"

"What?" I wondered, sensing his unease.

"I betrayed you," he told me, and his voice was tight and pained. "I don't deserve your love. When I was tested, I failed you."

"Is that what you think? That just because you doubted me, I could never love you again? You rescued me when I was at my lowest, when I had failed all of you. How can I blame you for doubting me, when I was proved wrong so many times over? You expect me to censure you for doubting me, but I want you to. I have to trust you to tell me when I'm wrong, and in that I failed you as well."

"I had thought you would be angry, at least, for my part with Treize."

"We both made bad choices in a bad situation. Looking back on it, I came so close to losing all of you, I simply want to move on."

It was quiet then, as Wufei worked through his thoughts.

"We almost lost you," he said in a hushed whisper, holding me close. "On the plane, I truly didn't know if you'd live."

"I'm sorry I scared you," I apologized, not knowing what else to say. He gave a pained laugh, but it was enough to change his mood.

"Only you would apologize for dying."

"Perhaps. But talk to me about other things. It's been two weeks, are the others alright? I remember Trowa's sister and Quatre's men."

"Yes, families have been making contact now that our identities were released. I think Duo and Heero are the only two without living family. Even my old clan made contact."

"Do they… Did you tell them about your wife?"

"Oddly enough, they already knew. She let slip what she'd done to the wrong person, and it got back to one of the elders, who banished her. But I've decided not to return to my family. I'm afraid that, after all I've been through, I couldn't conform to their expectations any longer. Quatre has said that he will resume communication with his family when they've proven that they can be trusted, and Trowa's sister has already come to see him. After seeing how happy and well cared for he is, she agreed to leave him with us."

"And their plans? It's been two weeks, so I'm sure the Preventers have begun to talk to you about options."

"A bit, but nothing's been decided. If Quatre returns to his family, he'll have more money than he can manage, perhaps literally. Duo's had a million ideas already, and I think his most recent is professional football player. Heero wants to work on a computer science degree, and I've filed paperwork to begin working Trowa and Duo toward a high school diploma. Trowa hasn't said much about what he'll do after he graduates, but I know his sister offered him a position with the circus if nothing else." "And you? What are your plans."

"I suppose the immediate plan is to get Trowa and Duo up to a basic level of schooling. From there, I haven't really thought much further ahead. Not to be rude, but I didn't think we needed to worry about contributing. I thought you'd have enough money to keep us."

"I have enough money to keep you and at least three generations of your children without many problems, but I know you. You'll want something to do soon enough."

"I suppose, but I've been fighting for so long, the thought of relaxing and settling in to this peace is appealing. But I've also contemplated doing something with the other slaves. Many of them are like Trowa and Duo, adults who are suddenly alone in the world with no background and no education. Quatre has even mentioned using his father's company to help get them jobs."

"High aspirations, but take your time. I don't want to see either of you worked like slaves in service to this project," I teased, and he smiled.

"Is this what freedom feels like?" he asked me. "Like the whole world is laid out in front of you and you can do anything you want?"

"I don't think so. Freedom makes you feel like the whole world is laid out for you. Love makes you feel like you can do anything you want."

"Then I must have both."

"I know you have both."

"It won't always be this easy, will it? Talking about it is great, but I didn't expect it to be this frightening when the decisions need to be made. Trowa nearly had a panic attack when Quatre's family came, and then beat himself up about it when Quatre decided to stay."

"There will be… issues with adjusting to freedom. When you make choices, you have to live with the consequences. It can be more difficult than simply following the path laid out for you, but it's always worth it in the end."

"Speaking of issues, are you aware that Duo has managed to become a cocktease?"

"What?"

"Oh, apparently he's decided that he likes to flirt, but he's free now so no one can make him do anything. Which is all true, but he picks some poor, hapless victim, comes on like a harlot, and then as soon as the man is aroused, Duo leaves. It's gotten Heero into three fistfights already, when Duo's victims get violent. And he's like a two-year-old with the word 'no' anymore."

"We will… have to address this."

"Oh, I think it's been addressed. The last time Duo did it, Heero spanked him."

"Ha!

"Where are the others, by the way?"

"Hm? Oh, I sent them back to the house. After a week in this room, everyone needed a shower and some rest. They've been visiting you on rotating shifts, but when Sally said you might wake soon… well, I wanted to be here. They've also been trying to help the slaves at the house adjust."

"Preventers hasn't taken them anywhere yet?"

"No, slaves that aren't in immediate danger haven't been reassigned yet. Everyone's being dealt with on a worst cases first basis."

"I suppose we'll all just have to learn to live together for a while, then."

We lapsed into silence for several minutes and I wanted to ask about the other former-slaves and how they were reacting to freedom, but I was too tired. Still, I felt that I needed to address something with Wufei now, while it was fresh in my mind.

"Wufei? I need to ask you something. I know everything's moving fast and it's easy to get caught up, but I want you to know that you don't have to stay with me. I want you here, but only if you want to be here."

"Are you… Are you asking me to leave?" he asked, and the fear in his voice was the last thing I wanted to hear.

"No! No, I'm making a mess of this. I'm trying to tell you that I love you, and I want you by my side, but only if it's your choice."

He chuckled then, and settled down.

"The pain meds must be kicking back in, you're getting awfully romantic. If you need a poetic declaration of love, you'll have to wait until morning. But I love you, too. And it has always been my choice."

I smiled then, and kissed him gently. I was just starting to fade into sleep, the aches and pains in my body fading again, when Wufei raised his head again.

"Sally says you'll never walk again," he said worriedly, as though this was news to me. I chuckled this time, and kissed him again.  
"Sally is a crackpot. We'll show her better."

THE END


End file.
